TheaterFire

why do I keep getting accused of stealing/stopped by security?

Posted by jebslater@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 29 comments

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29 Comments

Remote-Pool7787@reddit

You look like, and act like a shoplifter
View on Reddit #82215066

Own-Heat2669@reddit

Apparently the way that some neurodivergent people move is triggering for some badly trained security staff. Misinterpretations of navigating stores, anxiety-driven actions, or trouble explaining situations to staff can turn benign actions into suspicious ones. I am not saying you are neurodivergent, I don't know, but, of you are it might explain.
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

Yeah I'm neurodivergent. A bit autistic and usually avoid eye contact, look awkward. Impressed by the insight, thank you.
View on Reddit #82119212

HiddenSynner@reddit

So am I it happens all the time. Marks and Spencer's in sports gear could be it. Going in without a basket Walking around or hover I too long, not making eye contact with security of staff Mainly looking autistic or like a teenager will trigger them. Also backpacks are a big problem at times.
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Think-Committee-4394@reddit

Sad to say this thought has merit, any ‘profiling’ of potential shoplifting is inherently wrong But when did something being wrong ever stop people doing it
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AssociationGold8745@reddit

Nah, junkie fucks and teenagers in sports gear are a valid profile to be suspicious of for shoplifting imo.
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Own-Heat2669@reddit

Yep, it sucks, I've experienced it myself and, as per my other reply, I got an explanation from someone who had received some better training.
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Own-Heat2669@reddit

No problem, really sorry you have had to deal with it. I know about it because I have been accused myself several times.  I asked a similar question a few years ago (on a different platfform) following a similar incident. A reply from a well trained security person explained that a lot of the people monitoring CCTV are not adequately trained to understand neurodivergence, same for floor staff. I worry for my son because he holds items close to his body when shopping and I remind him to keep them where they can be seen at all times.
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ARobertNotABob@reddit

With corporate belt-tightening everywhere, *actual* security guards are becoming rarer, and staff training is a joke pretty much anywhere anyway. My son worked in a B&M recently, and floor staff were "expected to confront shoplifters and make efforts to retreive goods". I don't know if that was company policy or a specific manager, but with my blessing, my son left.
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VerbingNoun413@reddit

>Apparently the way that some neurodivergent people move is triggering for some badly trained security staff. Speaking from experience, it is. I once saw someone in a hoodie on CCTV looking sus. Turned out that not only was it recorded footage, she was me!
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Subsyxx@reddit

Also, unfortunately, have to ask. What's your skin colour and are you living in a major city, a town, or a rural area?
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

It is a shame you have to ask. But I'm white. Happens all over the country. My hometown of Durham and just in Brighton today. London. Rural Cumbria
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oscarx-ray@reddit

Do you dress in tracksuits or have a shaved head? I'm painfully middle-class, but would get stopped or followed when I "looked rough". (Not laying blame if you do, just looking for a reason)
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

Nah not tracksuits but that type of thing. High, grade 0 skin fade, Nike top and trackie bottoms I've mainly been stopped in middle class/posh shops, so this checks out. Thanks for the insight
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oscarx-ray@reddit

I'm not a thief, but when my head is shaved close to the bone and I wear my tracksuits, I get more attention. I'm ND, and apparently we do weird things that make us look suspicious as well, so that could be it too if you're on the spectrum? Honestly, you just need to know that you've done nothing wrong and you'll definitely be fine.
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oscarx-ray@reddit

A security guard might ask you questions, but you can just be honest and it'll all be ok. They're not out to get you, they just don't want people stealing. If you're not stealing, it can be awkward, but you'll be ok.
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oscarx-ray@reddit

Ignore the illustration bit, but when I walked into a shop looking like this in a tracksuit, people thought I was a bad dude. I just had to accept that and be polite. https://preview.redd.it/9a5wo9gnegsg1.jpeg?width=1982&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf10cc35782e0ce5dfe48e75ca64cd747da77be8
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oscarx-ray@reddit

(I'm very nice)
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

Haha appreciate all the insight and advice, cheers! Least I've got my answers, it's because I'm ND and style myself in ways associated with the "lower class". Must comes off shifty 😅
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oscarx-ray@reddit

Yeah, just don't stress it - and I know that's hard. We wind people up the wrong way sometimes, and as long as we've done nothing wrong, it's just a case of staying calm, and getting on with it.
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Pengtingcalledme@reddit

That’s why
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Twocanvandamn@reddit

I kicked off big style once when accused of stealing in a shop Yelled at the tok of my voice to search my bag there and then on the shop floor. Loudly Demanded an apology when they found nothing on me etc etc I was very angry so I sympathise with you. Tbh if they are just accusing you basically for no reason I'd do what I did and make as much of a scene as you can out of it Just because you can. Fuck em
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Pengtingcalledme@reddit

I lodged a complaint online and head office called me to apologise and yeah I was wearing a tracksuit, so I understand now but at the time I didn’t get it
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Celestial-gem@reddit

Pay attention to your gait. If you look weak and tired. They might assume you’re a drug user. If you look strong and angry, they might assume you are antisocial. And if you need to do shopping. Don’t touch anything unless you are really going to buy it.
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

Will keep in mind, helpful thank you
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nini-jennie@reddit

Just keep your hands out of the pockets as much as u can. Just from personal experience.
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jebslater@reddit (OP)

Good tip, cheers
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Novel_Alexander@reddit

Went thru the same thing at that age, sportswear plus being a teenage boy is basically profiling at this point - it's genuinely not you, they do it to pretty much every kid that fits that look and it fades once you get a bit older unfortunately
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