Sir Patrick Stewart describes his first experience of a Hamburger in America. (You’ll read this in his voice)
Posted by No_Dig_8299@reddit | TNG | View on Reddit | 88 comments
ConsiderateCassowary@reddit
"Of course he was quite right."
God he's so English, I love it
pessimistic_utopian@reddit
It was "Such was the scale of the burger" that got me
DriverLazy360@reddit
New burger scale unlocked!
"How big was the burger?"
"I'd say it was a 3 beer-er, maybe even 3 and a half"
moparmajba@reddit
The English will use anything but the metric system…
gravityhomer@reddit
Going to make it a goal to say this whenever I talk about the size of anything.
RangerMatt76@reddit
I think it was written before Picard was released. I read the book right after Picard season 3 came out. I don’t want to spoil anything, but really obvious that the book does not line up with season 3 at all.
HonkinHoots@reddit
Give me a three beer burger on a three dog night.
Easter_Eyeland_Fed@reddit
Didn’t even read the last part of the post title and yes I completely read it in his fucking voice. Anyone know of any good Star Trek books written from the first-person perspective of Picard? That was so fun.
RangerMatt76@reddit
The Autobiography of Captain Jean Luc Picard.
CaptDrunkenstein@reddit
I just bought this because of you, looking forward
RangerMatt76@reddit
It fills in a lot of gaps from TNG. It was written before season 3 of Picard, so doesn’t quite line up with his later years, but it is a good book.
CaptDrunkenstein@reddit
I have not and do not plan on watching any season of that. I rather hoped this was penned before any of that was created; is it heavily influenced?
AbrocomaUnusual3399@reddit
You could actually read any book you like in his voice, if you wanted to…
Svenderhof@reddit
Doesn't even have to be books. I just read your comment in his voice and it was significantly better than it should have been.
As it should happen, I started narrating this very comment with Picard's voice as internal monologue. It is possible to make no grammatical errors and still fail to comment anything useful.
Anywhichwaybuttight@reddit
But what if I read your comment in Werner Herzog's voice?! What then, Science Man?
Svenderhof@reddit
I don't know but I'd bet good money it's still awesome, but not due to the content.
AbrocomaUnusual3399@reddit
I read this comment in Sir Picard’s ‘fucking voice’. Eloquent dirty talk. “…even better than…ngh…it should…hnyerrgh…have…BEEEEEeeeen.”
Triad64@reddit
That is not a weakness, that is Reddit.
Gnoll_For_Initiative@reddit
I believe there is a Picard Autobiography
whatsbobgonnado@reddit
saying "I read the post title, but not the last part that's right next to the part I read, my eyes just stopped working right before I saw it" is so unbelievable to me
Easter_Eyeland_Fed@reddit
Ok 🤷🏻♂️
dimgray@reddit
This made me hungry. Picard never made me hungry
Choice_Chocolate5866@reddit
According to some women I know.... apparently you're not into guys...
Shuatheskeptic@reddit
Same. Boy, I'm glad we already had plans to grill burgers tonight.
Lost_Possibility_647@reddit
But what about today?
pythaslok@reddit
He sure makes me thirsty though.
JayMerlyn@reddit
Tommy's:
https://i.redd.it/xhb7b6nup6sg1.gif
Choice_Chocolate5866@reddit
But it was too late.... I'd seen everything.
Republiconline@reddit
“Ales for everyone!” Cue British drinking song.
OddbitTwiddler@reddit
There are Three beers! In the fridge.
mrwiregaming@reddit
Hamburger, Tommy's, with everything.
Puzzled-Wind9286@reddit
Make it so!
jackrabbit323@reddit
Makes me proud to be from Los Angeles to read Sir Patrick Stewart got turned onto Tommy's, and did the right thing, and got a six pack.
toastedclown@reddit
One of my favorite things I learned from this book (that has nothing to do with Sir Patrick specifically) is that in California, if you sell someone a haunted house, you have to tell them it's haunted.
Rustie_J@reddit
"Local culture" is certainly one way to look at it...
Spikeintheroad@reddit
I always take those arrangements as a compromise for everyone involved. Are the cops skipping the line? Yes. Is that unfair to the people in line? Yes. Is that better than having a bunch of cops standing in line making everyone Hella uncomfortable? Depends on the person but to me, yes.
MindlessNectarine374@reddit
Why should you have to fear the police? America is a strange part of the world. I am totally sure despite never having been there.
Rustie_J@reddit
I mean, you're not wrong about the discomfort of everyone else in line, but my issue with it isn't the unfairness in & of itself. My concern is that it gives the cops themselves an inflated sense of importance & feeds their sense of impunity.
Also, I'd be somewhat less annoyed by the neighborhood beat cop doing it than I am by freaking state cops. What the hell is CHIP doing that is so important they need to cut the line? Fucking nothing, they're just harassing drivers & probably causing even more accidents with their presence when everybody is watching them instead of the road.
Thin_Dream2079@reddit
The restaurant could have asked them to wait in line, they are even more culpable by making special accommodations. Local culture!
Rustie_J@reddit
They could've, but no business it's gonna risk pissing off the fuzz. If they all make them wait their turn, the cops will just have to get over it, but if you're the only ones doing it you're inviting retaliation.
Ponsay@reddit
This doesn't really happen anymore in California, but in places like Florida it's a daily occurrence.
QualifiedApathetic@reddit
This was way back in, what, the eighties? People liked cops better then.
Rustie_J@reddit
Lol, no they didn't. TV did, movies did, I suppose middle class white people did, but they've never been popular with the poor & POC population.
protomanEXE1995@reddit
And after swallowing every last morsel of that burger, I went and ordered the following drink:
“Tea. Earl Gray. Hot.”
dashsolo@reddit
“Burger, Tommy’s, with everything… hot”.
ubermonkeyprime@reddit
What a dude!
MAJORMETAL84@reddit
There are three beers!
Pretty_Science4815@reddit
Hell yeah there are
Far_Pitch_2960@reddit
I can hear Stewart's voice narrating as I read.
GRCphotography@reddit
I came to LA and I got original Tommy's lol, It was good!
Extension_Resolve264@reddit
This is peak America.
DizzyLead@reddit
The original Tommy's on Rampart! I've been there once. This is a reason to go again!
Pot_noodle_miner@reddit
“Counterman” is exquisite
No_Pilot_9103@reddit
Far_Garlic_2181@reddit
I tried but it sounded like Chance Dance instead
stathis0@reddit
Hello? I've just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!
cwatson214@reddit
Irv's is better
DrDalenQuaice@reddit
All I could think of when reading this
Frymanstbf@reddit
At the corner of BEVERLY you say?
Free_Sheepherder4895@reddit
Bruhhh this is amazing 🤣🤣🤣
Jezon@reddit
He should have told the guy at the register to "make it so"
opticzar@reddit
But did he also add some salt and PEPPA!
Mayoo614@reddit
My mind is so broken, I actually read it with Brent's voice doing Patrick's voice.
MinivanPops@reddit
I came across a bakery called Sexy Cakes and decided immediately to purchase it.
DarwinGoneWild@reddit
Welp, guess I have to have Tommy’s for lunch now. Thanks, OP.
Lylidotir@reddit
Reading this in his voice makes me want to listen to an audiobook voiced by him. :D
Bloody lovely, innit?
LogicalAwesome@reddit
You’re in luck: This excerpt is from his recent biography “Making It So”, which he also narrated as an audiobook.
regeya@reddit
Only book I "own" as audio-only. He really is very English, isn't he? And after hearing him talk about Murfield I'd almost like to see him do a guest appearance as a grumpy farmer on All Creatures Great and Small.
Lylidotir@reddit
Thank you kindly. I'm going to check it out.
ImRonniemundt@reddit
I dont think Patrick Stewart says innit
Lylidotir@reddit
ReBoomAutardationism@reddit
Left out is the remark out the Richter scale of his belch!
stratusmonkey@reddit
"Such was the scale of the burger..." is r/brandnewsentence material!
Idontliketalking2u@reddit
I kinda fixated on that line too. So whimsical
IAmBadAtInternet@reddit
Tommy’s-to-go. With everything. Firmly wrapped.
Thin_Dream2079@reddit
By the counterman.
Worf1701D@reddit
Surprised he didn’t wash it down with some Earl Grey, hot.
rollem@reddit
It's funny that I could never speak in a proper English accent but I read that entire page in 100% perfect Patrick Stewart. If you haven't read, or listened to, Making It So, it's well worth it.
corsicanbandit@reddit
Were hamburgers not popular in the UK at that point?
Poultryphile@reddit
That was amazing. I want to get burgers and beer with Captain Picard.
Doshin108@reddit
This is from 'Making it So' which is available in audio book read by Sir Patrick Stewart.
10/10
Remote-Pie-3152@reddit
NIGHT CREWWWWW… beer me!
Original_Bus_3864@reddit
"I find there are some burgers which have the capacity to fill spaces you never knew were empty"
Spikeintheroad@reddit
I can't think of a much better welcome to America meal than a fully loaded burger and 3 cold beers. Except maybe a fully loaded burger and 4 cold beers.
Peas-Of-Wrath@reddit
Must have been better than the time he ate gagh. On the plus side though, if someone would have pushed in they would have gotten a Bat’leth to the guts.
Bootsy_Frost@reddit
Jean-LucBacardi@reddit
_frank_tank@reddit