What are your honest thoughts about ADHD?

Posted by Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 117 comments

*Sorry for the lengthy post, I didn’t realise I had so much to say until I started typing!* **I am really curious about the public’s thoughts/judgements about ADHD. What may be your first thoughts if someone tells you they have it? Is it made up etc.** **I feel like because of social media a lot of people have been more exposed to neurodiversity and I’m not sure if it’s the most positive thing.** # My experience I have ADHD (diagnosed) that has been very prevalent throughout my life. I am 21F and I’m now starting to realise quite how difficult it can be especially living away from home at uni. I genuinely do struggle with my everyday life on top of being the stereotypically super chatty and high energy person. It is something I’ve never really spoken about or told to an employer/schools I was applying to; as I do feel like I am more than competent in a work/education environment. I also just feel that because of this boom of neurodiversity awareness and diagnosis that there is a lot of people who may not want to deal with someone who’s got it and there is more strong opinions and prejudice. It would be nice to feel more comfortable to speak about it sometimes as it can actually be quite debilitating sometimes. For me personally, my whole life can be in disarray but if someone is relying on me for something I can do it. In the past month I’ve neglected eating, personal hygiene, my degree, tidiness, and health etc but I have never missed a training session for my sports team or a shift at work. When I turn up, it is like nobody would know anything is wrong. These things are difficult to speak about anyway let alone when I come across just fine, and potential bias. # My opinion I am really glad that people can understand themselves more and people may have gotten diagnosis from the exposure. However I do worry there could be some people who may get wrongfully diagnosed and it’s bringing a more negative light. There’s also so many people self diagnosing and putting “adhd content” out online and I’m not sure how to feel. In my opinion it’s might be similar to how during lockdown a lot more people started identifying with the transgender community and neopronouns etc. I personally know quite a few people who have now detransitioned and it was just something that really resonated with them at the time due to other issues. I feel like it did bring a lot of negative light and bad media attention to a community that had existed for years and years. I don’t know if it was “bad” as I guess many people did actually come to understand their true selves however it did also bring around a lot of negativity. That is all just my opinion to be clear!

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

You’re wanting people to understand your experience, but it sounds like you are casting judgement on others without knowing theirs and suggesting their diagnosis might be less legitimate. Just as you have described here, there might be areas in life that people with ADHD are seemingly able to thrive and therefore their dysfunction is more hidden. As for self diagnosis, there is a huge waitlist for accessing diagnosis currently. It’s not surprising that people feel the need to self identify. Ultimately, diagnosis is given by professionals who receive extensive training in that area. If there is a problem with over diagnosis, that’s a professional not a personal issue. That said, the evidence supports and under, rather than an over diagnosis of adhd and autism. Women in particular have had a hard time being diagnosed because their symptoms present very differently. There’s also emerging evidence about different presentations based on cognitive factors and this being picked up earlier or later in life. There is an increase in diagnosis because there is an increase in understanding. Prior to this people who were neurodivergent likely struggled through life, they may have been misdiagnosed with other conditions or even ended their own lives due to suffering. An increase in diagnosis doesn’t threaten the legitimacy of your own diagnosis. It highlights that more people were struggling than what we once thought. Views like this only further perpetuates the stigma that you have described.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

And if you aren’t actually ADHD or anything else and just using resources you don’t need, that someone else definitely could need? That’s my main issue with self diagnosis. Certain jobs or school even can give support for people with learning difficulties but they don’t have an abundance of that support.

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

People generally don’t self identify with a stigmatised diagnosis for the fun of it. Even if they don’t meet the threshold for ADHD when they finally get assessed it doesn’t mean they aren’t struggling and that’s usually what made them pursue that diagnosis in the first place. This is a system problem. Waiting 6 years (which is the case in some areas) for a diagnosis to legitimatise getting reasonable adjustments you need to function is not acceptable. Nor is being made to feel that your support is at the expense of other people in need.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I know people don’t do it for the fun of it? I never said that they do that? But there is a lot on social media now a days saying “if you do this then you might have this” And I worry that certain people who self diagnose don’t actually need the support they receive, since at the end of the day a professional who has been trained in spotting certain learning difficulties than you are. If people actually need the support then I don’t understand why they’d feel annoyed with what I am saying, because you’ll know you DO need the support, so you’re not using it when you don’t need it too, because you need it. This is aimed at people who don’t need it which unfortunately does happen with self diagnosis. Also 6 years? I know some people who were diagnosed with ADHD and it definitely did not take them that long at all. Isn’t there the right to choose as well that helps with that?

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Kindly-Berry8620@reddit

I had 20 years in the mental health system. So knew the ropes. Already had access etc. Took me 7 years. Just because the people you know didn't take that time doesn't mean everyone has that luxury How much did it cost your friends? Do they pay for their own meds? Has their GPs agreed to shared care? Cause there are serious issues there too In my area the doctors aren't even allowed to refer people for diagnosis because of the lack of resources and the current wait lists. If someone has help and doesn't need it, they must have jumped a fair few hoops, and are able manipulate the system. It's possible. But it's a tonne of effort and time, when even those who've no problem proving their need can't even get prioritised for help I'm wondering what benefit you think it is to work the system like that. Why someone would choose to have a disorder that people don't believe is real. That gets us sidelined at work. That gives society a reason to judge us, our attitude and our character I worry that yet again we make those who genuinely need help, suffer because of the lowest common denominator. Some people take the piss therefore let's make it harder for those who do need it I understand you are not trying to deny it exists. But protect those who are genuinely in need. But the context of the situation, the current state of the health system. It creates issues that perhaps aren't immediately visible Personally. I've issue that all the social media stuff makes it looks like adhd is some sort of superpower. If it felt like that for me, I wouldn't have such issues navigating life. If I could choose, no superpower please. Allow me the same opportunities in life as everyone else without 3 times the effort. Id really love the decade I spent wanting to off myself back again? Maybe keep a few friendships. Maybe actually feel I exist in the world instead of being confined to watching and being thrown scraps

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

Sidelined at work? For me, any jobs I have had, have always been incredibly supportive with learning difficulties? So in my view people can just cloak they have this learning difficulty when they don’t and receive support when they don’t need it. My issue is with people who claim it, and clearly don’t need it, when that support could be going to someone who needs it. If you know for a fact you definitely need it, then I don’t have any issues with that. But in the jobs I had, when I told them I had dyslexia they would often be very supportive and feel any worries I had be heard. My dyslexia is affects my processing skills and audio memory, and so I would need patience for people to understand that I took a slower time to do things. But then I heard things online with people having support but not actually needing it, which not only made it bad for the rest of us who DO actually need it.

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Kindly-Berry8620@reddit

Any comment on the points I raised? Shared care? Cost? Benefit to them? Effort required? Societal attitude? Working to the latest common denominator? Difference between acceptance of adhd and dyslexia? Variation in work experiences?

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I’m a tad confused here, did you not read my reply? Or is this because I didn’t reply quick enough? This sounds like I caused you offence? I didn’t mean to do that I assure you or that was not my intention at all.

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Kindly-Berry8620@reddit

No you didn't cause offense. I didn't mean to come across like that. I was just wondering what you thought about the implications on the other things I mentioned. I understand the problem with some people claiming it and not needing it. Taking resources away, or making people be less sympathetic. And I'm addition it minimises the very real issues that we deal with every day. I'm not sure what the solution is though. Are you suggesting that we make it harder for people to access help? Or punish those that play the system? Are we to create a culture of doubt around those that say they have issues in case they don't? All of this punishes those who really need help more than those that don't need it and claim it. Perhaps companies need better education and options. Maybe the government should focus on the majority who are in need rather than the minority who don't. The systems are already hard to navigate. Particularly for those with neurodiversity. If I told you how hard it has been for me. I'm not sure you would believe it. When I say it nearly killed me. I'm not exaggerating. If there had been any more shame or doubt attached to it. Of which there was plenty. From everyone. Society didn't make it easy never mind the health service. Getting my diagnosis proved it wasn't my fault. It saved my life. I really wish everyone in my position was a little easier accepted in every area of society. And especially when going through the medical processes. I'm scared that if we focus on those that don't need it. People like me don't make it

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Kindly-Berry8620@reddit

It's great that your experience is positive from work places. I'm pleased that some places are handling that well. How many different work places? Because I have plenty of examples of it not being handled well. And legally they protected themselves. Because I have to prove it was due to the adhd. That's pretty hard to prove. And that admin process is pretty impossible for someone with adhd to follow up on without support I understand what you're saying, however, the amount of effort required to get support (it's bloody hard to jump the hoops!) is significant. And the numbers of folk who need it and don't get it is considerably more than those who play the system. I worry that be pushing that narrative. More people won't be believed. And people like me will struggle even more. Because honestly. If I could turn it off. I absolutely would. I've uncontrollably wept, had panic attacks, been unable to do anything accept fall to my knees and physically scream until I puke. With the frustration of not being in control of myself and with the sheer amount of noise in my head.the thing that would make the biggest difference for me. Isn't reasonable accommodation...it's to be believed. If I say I can't do it. Don't tell me I can't. Believe me. Help me work around it. Stop making it an issue of effort. Or framing it like I just need to think about it differently. If I've no legs, I can't walk. Telling me to take it in small steps, have more faith in myself, just do it or the ever helpful 'yes you can'. Won't make no difference. I'm not going to grow legs Its relevant to bare in mind that Dyslexia is much more widely accepted than adhd. It's not seen as an attitude problem, or an issue of effort. It's also easier to make reasonable adjustments for. It's clearer cut (granted, not clear cut)

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I’d say I worked for five or six different places I’d say that have been incredibly helpful and lean into trying to help people with learning difficulties. My worry is two things, say you have a person who self diagnosed and says they have learning difficulties and then they actually don’t and the team try their best to be accommodating, only to eventually realise, hey this person doesn’t actually need this support, how would the team and management feel when the next person who comes into their team, also says they have learning difficulties? I know you should treat them as separate incidents but I have definitely heard comments around, face to face and online, of people who don’t. And because they had that experience with one person who self diagnosed or is saying they have this disability, they look down on you or don’t great you right or like you said, try and get you to do something you can’t do, because of their previous experience. And the second issue is the fact support isn’t finite. If school or a work place goes out of their way to help someone who self diagnosed and doesn’t actually need it, then what if there is actual employee or student who does need that support but then doesn’t get it? Because the work or school already used it on this other person who didn’t need it? The second issue I haven’t seen happen to be fair but just heard about online. But the first one has happened to me. Where people treat me in an unfair manner, due to their previous experience with someone with learning difficulties who didn’t need help or just talked to me about their thoughts on people with learning abilities, not knowing I have a learning disability.

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Iammildlyoffended@reddit

We ended up going private for our son as he is still on the NHS pathway 7 years and counting…

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

I was being flippant. But do you really think there are a significant number of individuals receiving support that they don’t need? My experience is that support is incredibly hard to access and that the opposite is true. I get the videos online spreading misinformation online can be harmful, but I doubt people are making a self-diagnosis based on some of these suggested ‘traits’ alone. As for getting a diagnosis it’s a postcode lottery. Some areas have paused right to choose for ADHD assessments and also aren’t taking any more NHS referrals. It very much depends on where you live. I was told four years, managed to go through right to choose and was lucky as I went with a provider that had only just started taking NHS patients. It still took me a year to be seen. If you go private, there are often issues with the NHS accepting the diagnosis or continuing a prescription.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I don’t think it but worry over it, due to what I am seeing on social media. Due to seeing posts about people saying “I’m this” then their symptoms they describe is not unusual at all, and does not indicate they have a learning difficulty yet they still get support for it. But I suppose that might not relate to real life.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Hi sorry I’m new to Reddit and didn’t think this would get as many responses sorry if I have missed anything!! It’s not necessarily others making me less legitimate it’s more how it’s become a thing on social media. Like there are people posting if you struggle with xyz then you may have ADHD, unfortunately a lot of people then take the self diagnosis and start saying it a lot, publicly putting certain actions down to adhd and creating content about it. I just worry that the public then get an idea about it sort of thing. The key thing is it’s not everyone at all, not even the majority, but it is a significant amount of people. I think self diagnosis is super helpful and can help you to understand yourself more and find some resources whilst you wait for a diagnosis but it’s the people who shout it from the rooftops and hone in on stereotypical behaviours. I’ve just had a few things worry me. Because of the pressure on doctors I don’t think the assessments are very thorough. I literally sat with my friend through hers and she just had to say yes to everything, I was shocked. People have told me they are going to get a diagnosis for extra time in exams. I have seen a creator on TikTok get a motability (free) car for her adhd and she is a full time dancer, posts a lot, and I know what the criteria are for motability as I have a friend who is an amputee. It’s just the things like this that are so in my face at the moment that concern me. Apologies if it came if as judgement, i am just worried about it and if its worth acknowledging i have it sort of thing. Thanks for the response :)

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

Social media is problematic in a lot of ways. You can monetise anything for clicks unfortunately and I don’t think this issue is isolated to ADHD. I do understand your concern about social media perpetuating ideas that ‘quirks’ are directly related. However, I don’t think people who are functioning well in society would self identity as having a still very stigmatised diagnosis just by the seeing the quirks featured in these videos if they were not in fact struggling to function in other areas. As for the assessment process. It’s worth highlighting again that the evidence suggests under, rather than over diagnosis. There may be some examples of poor providers, but the NHS is very rigid on what private providers they will support a diagnosis and a prescription from. There is also extensive training needed to become an assessor and a very strict set of diagnostic criteria. Which is even more problematic where there are additional factors like childhood trauma. In regards to your friends assessment, could it otherwise be that she submitted enough supporting information prior that there was less questioning needed in the actual appointment? I had to submit two reports, one from a witness, which were very extensive before my actual assessment. I also wouldn’t believe everything you see on social media. There will occasionally be people who exploit the system, but I can’t imagine that she would have been provided with a car lightly, particularly given the current state of funding. My main concern is that people start picking apart each others disabilities to legitimise their own need for support, rather than focusing their energy on the systems in place which are now outdated and leave people struggling to get assessed and to access support.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

That assessment was shabby. I know not all assessments are this way but they are becoming less rigid. She had a checklist prior and he asked her questions off of the same checklist. I was only sat with her as she thought it would be a pre assessment type thing and was a little nervous! It’s not the people who have adhd whether they’re diagnosed or self diagnosed. It’s the people who say they have adhd when they don’t, whether they’ve seen a TikTok or heard the term around. There have been too many times someone has said oh it’s just my adhd and I’ve been like oh wow I have it too and they’ve just said oh they don’t actually. I don’t like using this phrase but I do worry it’s become a fashionable quirk. Saying “I think I may have adhd and I’m in the process of getting diagnosed” or something like that I’m so open to, oh it’s my ADHD 🤪 just makes me feel shitty. I don’t believe in picking apart disabilities and people have different struggles of course, I’m talking about the condition as a whole. Like if someone struggles with one thing from a post they’ve seen titled “5 signs you could have adhd” yes, they may struggle but I don’t think it’s fair to be going around saying it. People are doing this, a minority of self diagnosed people but enough to become harmful to all of us

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SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit

There's huge waiting lists to get diagnosed with anything that's not life threatening but people don't self diagnose other conditions. My son is autistic and self diagnosis has definitely had an impact. I don't think people really understand what autism is (if they don't have autism themselves or know someone well that has it) because there's so many people all over social media and just in our faces saying they have autism (without diagnosis) and it sort of distorts what it really is and how people deal with it. You can also pay to be diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I query the reliability of a private paid for diagnosis. It's a double edged sword though because if someone is struggling and they can't get an assessment, they're forced to go private to get answers then therapies and treatments. What I do know is, currently these conditions are based on need and symptoms so those with more needs will get more support so self diagnosis/private diagnosis won't affect the help for those that need it overall but socially, there is an impact on understanding and sympathising with the condition because neuro typical are self diagnosing when it's really anxiety/depression/low mood or other neurological conditions and not autism or ADHD.

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

I disagree. Look at endometriosis, similarly ridiculous waiting lists with lots of women self-diagnosing based on their symptoms. You actually need surgery in most cases to 100% confirm that you have it. If people are self identifying it’s because they are struggling, they may be mistaken in what the diagnosis is but they obviously still need help or support. If there wasn’t such long waits for assessments, this wouldn’t be such an issue. Again, this is a system problem. As for the understanding and the stigma, this is only further perpetuated by this idea that some people haven’t ’earned’ (for want of a better word) their diagnosis because they have a more spiky profile or they haven’t (usually for reasons outside of their control) had a formal assessment. There is a variance in severity of impairment in most disabilities. We don’t make our own experiences be taken more seriously by putting down or minimising the experience of others.

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SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit

No, no, no. It's nothing to do with earning anything. When we go out, people still stare when my son stims and parents are still expected to 'control' their autistic children's noise levels, stimming and movements. Is this public haven't bothered to adjust or is this because a lighter, functional and mainstream level of 'autism' have been shown to them? It's the latter and as parents of autistic children, we are warned about this. It's so easy to have a blase attitude about how the public looks at autism and how self diagnosis isn't a big deal when you don't have to provide support to an autistic child or adult. When you do actually have to do that, you get fed up of the self diagnosers and their white washing of the condition. Women with endometriosis or suspected endometriosis don't tend to self diagnose, they suspect they have it. Suspecting a condition and self diagnosis aren't the same thing. People struggle for all sorts of reasons, it doesn't give them the right to self diagnose.

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Angelexica@reddit

Ohhhh wait, so are you one of these people who thinks that the only *truly* autistic people are the ones who have the same autism your son has, and anything that looks different or much less severe than his is a fake 'autistic'? Okay, the rest of what you've been saying here makes sense now.

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SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit

Definitely not. Autistic people are people who have been assessed as being autistic. I don't believe, get on board with or encourage any type of self diagnosis. People can suspect they are autistic but they can't diagnose themselves. If anyone was to say they had any other type of condition without testing or assessment, we wouldn't have kind words to say about them. Self diagnosis is the enemy of anyone suffering with the actual condition. We don't encourage anyone to self diagnose any other conditions but there seems to be free reign for autism and ADHD.

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Angelexica@reddit

Self-diagnosis rarely ends at just that. It isn't like we self-diagnose and then go about our merry way. It isn't fun. But for myself, and many people in my position, we don't actually have any other choice. I'm on a 7 year NHS waiting list, or I need to pay through the nose to go private (which, according to you, wouldn't be reliable anyway). Many self-diagosed autistic people aren't just learning about autism via TikTok and drawing simplistic and loose conclusions. For many of us, it becomes a special interest and obsession - we read all of the books on it we can find, we absorb all of the long conferences and lectures we can find, we get actively involved in communities centered around autism and we see our exact life experiences and challenges (with profound and life-long issues with socialising, employment, sensory issues, routine issues, special interests, and stimming all combined) mirrored in *all* of these things. We're not all just barging our way into a space and drawing baseless conclusions out of nothing. Self-diagnosis is actually readily accepted in many autistic communities *because* it is so well-known how difficult it is to get an assessment now. Self-diagnosis isn't like some happy choice any of us *want* to make. Self-diagnosed autistic people don't become autistic the second they get the diagnosis, and it's not often that someone *is* actually wrong about being autistic, therefore it's not fair to stigmatise self-diagnosed autistic people for whom assessment just isn't obtainable. It sounds like you won't even accept people who *have* an official diagnosis either though tbf, lol, if they go private... I just think you're directing your ire in the wrong places.

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Walking-Wanderer352@reddit

I’m sorry for the experiences you have had with your son. I unfortunately however, don’t think this is new. Autism has long been stigmatised and people unfortunately do often stare when people behave in ways they don’t understand. Personally, I don’t think this is anything to do with what you see as a ‘watering down’ of the understanding of the condition, but a lack of education about disabilities generally. I grew up with a brother who was autistic in the 90’s. It wasn’t any different. As for endometriosis I know plenty of women who do self diagnose because it is so difficult accessing a diagnosis. Look at endometriosis support groups, you will see an abundance of people who do. You shouldn’t have to face the stigma you do having an autistic child, it’s absolutely not okay, but I don’t think people self diagnosing these conditions are the enemy here. A broken system and a lack of education is what’s at fault. All you are doing is stigmatising others who are struggling because their experience might look different to your sons. Ultimately you don’t know what their life is like. Much like people without your lived experience won’t fully understand yours.

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SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit

I just don't believe in self diagnosis. It adds confusion to an already confusing condition (because it's a spectrum). Autistic people should speak for autism, not those who have self diagnosed. It is an issue and you don't truly see it until you're in the situation. "They don't look autistic" or "I saw an autistic woman on tik tok and apparently magnesium really helps the symptoms". We need rid of these people, they're not helping. As I said, suspecting you have a condition and self diagnosing are totally different things. I believe with other conditions people suspect they have it, they don't make claims that they have it.

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Experiment328095@reddit

You’re not qualified to assess whose anxiety or depression is caused by living a life of undiagnosed autism - for example I’m in my 40s and have only recently been able to join the waiting list for assessment after decades of being told I’m anxious. As a parent of an autistic child you should know better

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SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit

The same as they are not qualified to self diagnose. I don't diagnose them as not autistic, I don't accept self diagnosing. As a parent of a autistic child, yes, I absolutely have the right to be disgruntled about self diagnosis

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Angelexica@reddit

>You can also pay to be diagnosed with autism and ADHD and I query the reliability of a private paid for diagnosis. You have to be joking. Are you sure you're not confusing paying for an *assessment***,** with paying for a diagnosis (even if the person doesn't have it)? I have considered going private just because the wait list for autism assessment in my area is 7 years currently, but if I pay to go private, people will think I paid up for a phoney diagnosis for something I don't have??? Jesus christ this is actually maddening.

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Didsburyflaneur@reddit

This part ☝🏻

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AdStreet8083@reddit

The irony is my ADHD brain can't read your post, it's too long.

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EnvironmentalSir4214@reddit

Same

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Wireless25@reddit

Same. OP do you have a TODR version, please

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Haha my brain wouldn’t stop writing 😂

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Experiment328095@reddit

😂 same

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Legitimate_Side5776@reddit

Same. But you better believe I can read the comments lmao

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LordSideQuest@reddit

I read it all, but only with my eyes, my brain was thinking about something else from about half way through.

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Medical-Fox2471@reddit

I don’t believe that a lot of people who say they have it have it If you can get through life have a degree/masters and work you don’t need a diagnosis Too many people are seeking diagnoses to explain things and it can detract from others who really need it

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LobstermenUwU@reddit

Also people with chronic pain. You claim to have arthritis or MS, but if you're not laying in your bed screaming in agony, you don't need meds. And don't get me started on shit like chronic fatigue or narcolepsy. They are walking around just fine, then it's like they're tired? I get tired too, you don't see me falling asleep like some sort of drama machine. And fucking asthma. They can breath just fine, they just like inhaling steroids like the drug addicts they are.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Yeh this is the kind of general public opinion I’m worried about. Not saying that in a critical way! Thanks for being honest in ur response. I will probably claw myself through this degree, I am naturally quite intelligent so these things aren’t a big struggle. My day to day life however can be a huge challenge

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Iammildlyoffended@reddit

I’m 40f my brother and father had undiagnosed ADHD my husband has it and our son has it. Interestingly we only realised that my brother, father and husband have it once we had our son and I knew there was “something there” with our son. We’ve learned so much over the years and the way we parent our son has gone a long way into teaching others, particularly older relatives about the condition. He is a sweet, kind, hardworking little lad who regularly sticks up for little girls he sees being bullied and hit by boys in school. plans and aspiration for his future career. I do sometimes worry about how he will cope with ignorance from others in the workplace, but me and my husband have worked hard on what is and isn’t acceptable in public and life. He is a keen boxer and channels any aggression through that.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the response. I’m sure he will be just fine, you seem to be great parents and very understanding and willing to learn!!

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Iammildlyoffended@reddit

Thank you that means a lot :)

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I think they seem to have more help than before and more people seem to offer support or that’s the general gist I have seen? But I could be relating it too much to my dyslexia and thinking because I see a lot of support for people like myself I thought I saw a lot of ADHD support too? yes I did get diagnosed by a professional for dyslexia when I was little. I never understood self diagnosis, if you think you might be ADHD or anything else, go and do a professional test first before saying this is what you are. It annoys me that certain support might be going to people who self diagnosed and don’t actually need it compared to someone else who definitely does have that particular learning difficulty.

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Spiritual-Macaroon-1@reddit

The issue with support is that it take an extremely long time to get an NHS diagnosis - typically up to 7 year waiting list and some areas don't actually have an adult ADHD service. Private diagnoses are expensive, private medication is even more expensive and if someone gets a private diagnosis then in many cases the NHS will refuse to recognise it, even if they use that specific private provider themselves under Right to Choose (which isn't in itself everywhere in the UK). I self-diagnosed before diagnosis simply because I didn't want to wait years to find out something I already knew - I hit all the diagnostic criteria, I utilised methods and strategies for managing ADHD and they worked well for me. It was much easier to tell an employer "I have ADHD, so I do apologise if I need to get up and walk around a little during meetings, or require clear instructions" rather than just requesting those things because I'm "hyper" or "forgetful". A common feeling for people with ADHD is worthlessness and the feeling that you are different to and worse than other people who seem to manage to live their lives without the struggles that you have. Having an explanation and with that a way to understand yourself and reframe your own feelings toward yourself can be really valuable.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

If you already know it, then you aren’t using the support system for something you don’t need. My issue is with people who self diagnose, use the support system but don’t actually need it.

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Spiritual-Macaroon-1@reddit

I didn't have a medical diagnosis - I believed I had the condition but couldn't say for sure as I didn't have a diagnosis. The support systems for people who are undiagnosed are pretty minimal for example "reasonable adjustments" in a workplace are unlikely to give someone a significant advantage over anyone else. In fact, most of the reasonable adjustments I request aren't exclusive to ADHD and are just shit that my employer should be doing anyway. When it comes to self-diagnosis, I do appreciate that there may be people who do not have the condition and for whatever reason have convinced themselves that they have. Firstly, I think that this is a minority of people. Secondly, it is likely often a "fad" that someone might run with for a time and forget about. Lastly, certainly in the adult world, sharing an ADHD diagnosis is not something that brings advantage in nearly all situations. Employers are by and large ignorant and see it as a negative, having ADHD does not mean that you can escape things like bills and late repayment charges, it really doesn't get you much apart from derision or disbelief from others. I largely don't worry about these people.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I only worry when it effects the support I’m given, for example just not believing you when you tell them you’ll have problems doing something, because of their previous experience with someone who had learning difficulties but turned out they didn’t, making them more suspicious of you. Which has happened to me. Or this I just posts I saw about, of people not getting the support they need, due to other people who don’t actually need the support getting it instead of them.

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melikebiscuit@reddit

My 7 year old is on a 3 year waiting list to be assessed for ADHD. If we wait until that diagnosis comes through before we put any support systems in place it's possible he'll end up kicked out of school before he's been diagnosed because he really struggles to sit still and focus in the classroom. For now he's treated as if he does have it - support is put in place and we have set ways to manage behaviours (such as movement breaks and fidget toys). It makes for a much more manageable situation, less emotional outbursts, and means he is not going to fall too far behind his peers which would inevitably have a life-long impact. So respectfully, I disagree.

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

Like I repeated in another comment, my annoyance comes from abusing the system by telling your job or school you do have it and need support when you don’t. Very clearly your son does need it. My issue is with people who self diagnose but don’t need it.

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melikebiscuit@reddit

I would argue those numbers are likely very, very small though and absolutely the minority (like the very small number of people that fake a disability for benefits). Besides, I don't think it's up to us to decided whether somebody 'needs' it or not. We're not always privy to what goes on behind closed doors or what their struggles are. We're just better at identifying things now, whereas people historically will have just muddled through. I'll use my husband as an example; SO many signs of ADHD, but not diagnosed. He's a fully functioning successful adult, but his school years were an absolute battle and he was constantly made to feel stupid. He functions in his day-to-day job absolutely fine, but he's currently studying further education and could really do with extra time in exams because he struggles to absorb written word amongst other things. Is that worth the lengthy process to get a diagnosis? Probably not, in which case it's on a basis of self-diagnosis, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't have support in school/workplace etc if he requests it. There will always be people with greater needs out there, and I appreciate resources are finite, but we can't minimise one person's experience just because on paper another's is worse.

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oscarx-ray@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/7i5stswxdzrg1.png?width=852&format=png&auto=webp&s=7bc58518b5abd40161c4c5f479c7ac8d42f919f6 It's maddening. I'm the red line, so I do a lot of things \*exceptionally\* well, but get considered a dolt when I reveal my diagnosis, or have my condition ignored if I don't share it. People have no idea what ADHD actually is and how it affects us, so generally just land preconceptions on us before getting to know who we are as people and how we function - even mental health professionals.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Ah I have the same issue, I have quite a high iq so I can’t have adhd according to many people. So frustrating!

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ddmf@reddit

I'm diagnosed Audhd and when I was doing co-research for autism I was very open about having both, but over the past couple of years there seems to be a shift and the common response was "everyone seems to have ADHD these days" In the similar time frame we are seeing more bigotry towards other disabled people, immigrants, and trans people. Unless I'm trying to help someone in a similar situation or request a reasonable adjustment then I say nothing, not worth the hassle.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Over diagnosis wasn’t my main point I think it’s sort of what u hit in the first part. I would like to be able to tell people why I’m struggling but yes it doesn’t seem worth the hassle as I’m not sure people would understand. I was just worried about it as I’m noticing it more as I get older! I do think it’s slightly over diagnosed, especially the private route. I have seen my friend get diagnosed after one assessment, nothing from childhood, where she just sat and said yes the entire time. I think it’s the pressure they have to get through ridiculous wait lists. Not massively or the majority at all but it is happening. Either way thanks for the response I appreciate the insight especially from a neurodivergent perspective!

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ddmf@reddit

Do you think your friend shouldn't be diagnosed with ADHD?

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

I can’t have an opinion on if she should or shouldn’t have a diagnosis as I’m not a doctor. I was the one who encouraged her to do research into it because she was struggling with a lot of things I do. I do think the assessment lacked integrity though and was honestly really disappointed. I by no means think all assessments are like that but it did show me that some must be. I am so glad you are doing better, that’s great to hear! I don’t wish for anyone to struggle in silence at all: contact gps, read up on strategies, speak to employer/school anything to make life easier whilst they wait for diagnosis. I just get uneasy with the “because of my adhd” comments im hearing more and more these days. Wish you all the best! Sorry you struggled for so long!

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Ok-Rain6295@reddit

It’s making my life a nightmare.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Real

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Apsalar28@reddit

I've watched my friends kid go from sleeping 2 hours a night, barely able to read a sentence and constantly in trouble at school to voluntarily reading entire books and moved out of the bottom set for everything in a couple of months after she got a proper diagnosis and put on Ritalin when she was 12/13. For her and people on the severe end of the spectrum getting it properly recognised and treated is life changing. As she's my baseline what to look out for in ADHD cases I suspect I'm over sceptical when it comes to parents that decide their chatty kid who doesn't want to go to bed or do their homework actual does have ADHD rather than just being a kid. When it comes to adults, there are no doubt people who genuinely do have the condition and need proper diagnosis and help, but it's now fashionable and I think there are too many people using it as an excuse for being unreliable or not making any effort to organise their lives which is causing harm to the people who are truely suffering.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the honest response! I appreciate the clarity even if it’s a bit of a taboo opinion

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becpuss@reddit

AI because of the bold text also far too long for someone with adhd to write

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

My elvanse kicked in and I added the bold to make it more readable I guess

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TheLoneEcho@reddit

My son has ADHD (and autism). We suspected for years that he had it but the diagnosis only came through officially a couple of years ago. It was quite the learning curve for us as parents because it is difficult for us to understand how his brain works, much like it is difficult for him and others with ADHD to understand how the brain of someone neuro-typical functions. My honest opinion? It must be difficult for people like you. It is like you're living a life that is _slightly_ out of phase with the rest of the planet. However, I do find that sometimes it is used as an excuse for shitty behaviour, generally and to others. It takes more effort to learn how to be socially acceptable, which sucks, but it is something that can be developed and just not being arsed to do it is a poor excuse and should be called out.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the response, yeh that’s what I worry most about the shitty behaviours and justifying it with “I’m so adhd” or “oh it’s my adhd”. It can be pretty tricky but it’s been the same all my life so I’m used to it, some days are harder etc just like anyone else I guess! Certain things I’m really good at and things others may find easy I’m not so good at but understanding why helps. You seem like someone who is willing to learn, adapt but not over-coddle which is exactly why you seem the perfect parent for a child with AuDHD! Wish you all the best!

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Fine_Analyst_4408@reddit

You overestimate how easy it is to get diagnosed with ADHD.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

I sat with my friend during her video assessment and she just said yes to his questions and confirmed her medical history and identity. She didn’t have to use any information from her childhood. He diagnosed her that day from a one hour call. I was only sat with her as she thought it would be a “pre-assessment” sort of thing and was nervous. Im sure not all assessments are like this whether it’s nhs, private or done through rtc. The wait lists are ridiculous yes but I do think it’s affecting the conduct of the assessments, and the issues with shared care agreements!

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Medical-Fox2471@reddit

A lot of assessments are like this even through RTC it’s not robust and these people certainly shouldn’t be started on any medication

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Medical-Fox2471@reddit

I work in it Dependant on provider it’s very easy to get a diagnosis NHS it isn’t

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Peas_Are_Real@reddit

Recent study by Cambridge University showed ADHD is in fact under diagnosed, https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/no-evidence-adhd-is-being-over-diagnosed-say-experts

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Medical-Fox2471@reddit

There are a lot of people who have adhd that aren’t diagnosed but there are a lot of people Incorrectly diagnosed with adhd or self identifying/diagnosing

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

I think that there are a lot of people that have ADHD that are not diagnosed. I also think there’s an increasing number of people who don’t have ADHD that are diagnosed or self diagnosed. Not a majority by any means but an increasing number.

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Angelexica@reddit

Sooooo sick of the judgyness around it tbh. If you're diagnosed, people tell you it's overdiagnosed. If you're self-diagnosed, you're an attention seeker. I do think that a lot of people who self-diagnose prior to getting a diagnosis only really do so because the wait time for assessment is just so horrifically long now, not necessarily because they think it's trendy.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Yeh I just worry. it’s become such a subject for many to have an opinion on, I’m not gonna talk about it much anymore. Self diagnosis is super helpful, especially with waitlists, to understand yourself better and access resources. There are people who are just being “quirky” I guess and people who think it’s helpful for reasonable adjustments etc and it’s not anywhere near the majority of self diagnosed people at all. But I think it’s become enough in the last few years to be harmful to the rest of us if that makes sense?

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becpuss@reddit

OP your post is far too long no one with ADHD is going to get through it🤦‍♀️

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Real my elvanse had just kicked in

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Didsburyflaneur@reddit

I’m 41, and was diagnosed with ADHD at 37 after a lifelong struggle with untreatable depression and anxiety, and a failure to follow through with anything. I wasn’t made aware of it by social media but by a psychiatrist I went to see for a crippling bout of depression, but I’d be lying if I said that articles about celebrities with late diagnoses didn’t lead me to pursue an assessment, because they were the first time I’d seen my internal experiences described by others. I ended up having to get a private diagnosis because the waiting lists were impossibly long but my doctor had access to my previous notes and reports, documentation and reminiscences from my mother and evidence from my partner etc. before she even met me. I wasn’t “buying a diagnosis”, but underwent a thorough assessment by a very experienced specialist working in the same role in the NHS 5 days a week. This is why I find the rhetoric around over-diagnosis and social media influence to be incredibly harmful, because so many people struggle for years without any support and the solution to increased awareness leading to increased referral should not be stricter rationing, but service expansion. I had to sacrifice a lot to get that help, but so many more people don’t have the luxury of doing so, and do must continue to exist in self-diagnosed limbo. There is a similarity between ADHD and trans people, but is not people being over diagnosed, it’s that it’s apparently easier to stigmatise the people with the condition than it is to provide them with the help they need. When getting a formal diagnosis has been made as hard as it has been then complaint that people are self diagnosing is cruel. Does everyone on ADHD TikTok have ADHD? Probably not. Do some people who start exploring trans identities decide they aren’t trans? Certainly. But denying people access to the resources they need to find out whether they have those conditions or not, and then blaming them for negativity towards people with them is appalling. I would advocate all neuro-diverse people who feel the temptation to “not like other girls” this conversation to watch the video below, because you’re just cringing from a place of your own insecurity. https://youtu.be/vRBsaJPkt2Q?si=DHvEQLzs1VRjcnqS

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

I am a bit confused. I think self diagnosis is helpful for someone to understand themselves and be able to access resources whilst waiting for a diagnosis or even if they don’t wish to get one. It makes me uneasy when people make content with adhd plastered everywhere when they are self diagnosed. It makes me mad when I see people resonate with one thing and self diagnose, few people are that unaware, but it does happen. I think there are lots of people who have ADHD that are not diagnosed (under diagnosed) but I do think it’s increasing the amount of people that don’t have it that are getting diagnosed. There are a lot more people than you’d think especially my age range just saying they have adhd, whether it’s for increasing dei opportunities, adjustments in exams etc. I’m sorry you struggled for such a long time, I hope that you are finding things a little easier now!

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Carrente@reddit

I think this is bad faith transphobic rage bait intended to muddy the waters and discredit others, and I don't like it one bit.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Woah, I’m not transphobic at all. That’s a very big accusation. I have a lot of friends in the transgender community who have said exactly what I said in the post. The media brought a lot more negative attention to a community that already existed and there is a lot more bigotry towards them to this day. I also have friends who have detransitioned and I supported them during their transition and still do now. I likened it to this as there are people in the community who dont see an issue, people who do, it became a lot more prevalent in the media and it wasn’t the majority but enough to make significant impact.

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Angelexica@reddit

>I think this is bad faith transphobic rage bait intended to muddy the waters and discredit others, Lol fr.. So nuts how they just threw that in at the end there.

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Any_Preference_4147@reddit

What lead to me finally being diagnosed in my 30s was a decade of serious alcohol dependency which accumulated in a mental breakdown. A lifetime of low self esteem, self hatred and truly feeling useless/worthless. It's beyond me why anyone would "want" to have this, and when I see the amount of misinformation out there online it makes me worry. I'm so sick of seeing "ADHD quirks 🤪🤪" videos online which are full of nonsense. I also saw a video (obviously take with a pinch of salt) where this young woman explained how she was discriminated against because she got in to trouble for consistently being late to work- her argument was that because she has ADHD she can't be expected to be on time. That shit makes my blood boil!!!!!! It gives us all a bad name! Yes ok we may struggle with timekeeping but it's something we have to deal with and get on with, most of us don't expect a free pass just because we may struggle to be on time. I think half the shit on social media has now become harmful and is undoing whatever progress we have made.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Thank you, yes this is more what i was getting at! Sorry to hear about your struggles, I hope you are getting on okay!!

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teeth_grinding_teeth@reddit

Similar experience for me. My doctor told me during the earlier stages of my drinking, that I would die horribly. I didn’t care tbh. Late 20s I wanted to sort myself out, stopped drinking and worked on my health but there was still something not right. I’m glad I looked into it when I did, the wait times were still long, but not the 2+ years they are now.

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Tigertotz_411@reddit

In my experience people usually seek a diagnosis during a difficult transition in their life. I don't have any data to back that up thats just something I've observed. Changing school, moving away from home, leaving a job or marriage, anything major. That is when emotional dysregulation becomes an issue. The modern environment is full of such transitions. We deal with strange and unfamiliar situations regularly. We have to communicate more through screens. That was probably less of an issue before people moved around so much, before job hopping was a thing. ADHD diagnoses going up are probably a reflection of that new reality.

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tunnocksmystery@reddit

Honestly, I don’t believe most people on Reddit who say they have ADHD actually have it. Having a short attention span, or being lazy is not ADHD. It also pisses me off when people announce they have it, when it adds nothing to the conversation (which I know is not happening in this post!) Because of those things, I am probably unfairly annoyed or judgmental about it.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Thanks for ur response, this is kind of what I was getting at in a more concise way (thank you!). It can be pretty difficult with these people

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AJMurphy_1986@reddit

I'm 99% sure I have it. Until I can bother sorting out getting tested, I won't claim to or self diagnose it. Seems disrespectful. My main problem with getting a diagnosis is that the NHS doesn't seem interested, but the private route almost seems like paying someone to tell you what you want to hear.

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Ok-Reindeer3358@reddit (OP)

Yeh I definitely agree the NHS tests are probably more reliable, it’s difficult because again with it being more of a “thing” the waitlists have skyrocketed. I’m not sure but perhaps if you are a student or could prove that it’s impacting work they may be able to bump you up the list? I think it’s good you know and there’s so many books and resources online that can help you strategise to overcome your struggles with it. I wasn’t meaning people can’t self diagnose, it’s just when they make it their personality or self diagnose off of a TikTok video etc. Thanks for ur response and good luck!!

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LordSideQuest@reddit

I get what you mean about being respectful, but I think there’s some nuance here. I’m diagnosed with ASD and have been referred by my doctor for ADHD assessment because my symptoms fit. The wait list is about 10 years, so I’m in this weird position where medically it’s recognised, but not “official” yet. In situations where I need to explain my difficulties, I sometimes say ADHD, not casually, but because it’s the most accurate way to describe what’s going on. I don’t think that’s disrespectful, especially when it’s about real impairment, something I struggle with on a daily basis.

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Proper_North_5382@reddit

Have a look at Right to Choose if you're ever bothering. NHS pays and you can go the private route.

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AJMurphy_1986@reddit

As the other guy said below, I'm not sure i trust the private method

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Firm_Doughnut_1@reddit

That's what I've picked up too. Seems that if you go private there's a high chance you'll get diagnosed with ADHD even if you don't have it. NHS tests are deeper and more thought through. I don't want to be told I have ADHD, I want to know if I actually have it.

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AJMurphy_1986@reddit

Think you put it better than I did,

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AbjectGovernment1247@reddit

Check out right to choose.

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AromaticVacation3077@reddit

Interesting topic that I have no strong opinion about - it's just too complicated. I have both autism and ADHD in my family - some diagnosed, some suspected. Most of my nieces and nephews have some form of neurodiversity. I've heard them talk of their experience, I believe them, I understand, and I sympathise. Where things get fuzzy for me is how such conditions get triggered in the first place. There's such a crossover with neurodiversoty and childhood trauma - it's all so tangled up, how could anyone pick those apart? Something I never say out loud is this: I see parents who have made many mistakes in bringing up their kids. They didn't have enough time for them and they feel guilty about that, and the guilt leads them to make bad decisions. They paid too little attention to their own wellbeing - and yes, even to their own potential neurodiversity. They didn't process their own psychological baggage, and so passed it on wholesale to their kids. (This isn't coming from a place of judgement or self righteousness. I don't have kids, and I know I would make the same mistakes too.) Now the kids are malfunctioning - displaying self destructive behaviour, getting addicted to gaming, refusing school. I've seen parents go down the ADHD/autism route, and if they get a diagnosis I've seen them blame all of the kids problems on neurodiversity. I don't think it's ever that straight forward. People are more than a single neurological diagnosis. I can't help thinking neurodiversity lets parents off the hook sometimes - it's a little too easy. I don't blame them necessarily. I blame the world they have to live in - the fact that many parents have to work such long hours to pay the bills or to lead the lifestyle they're constantly told they should be leading - the lifestyle they genuinely want to provide for their kids. Maybe I even blame capitalism a little bit. Is that going too far? I'm not saying ADHD doesn't exist or that their kids don't have it. It does exist and kids really do have it. I just think it's never as simple as people end up thinking it is. ADHD isn't 'the reason' kids are the way they are. I should say I apply this to myself also. I absolutely have more than one spoke on the autism wheel. It's very real, and when I look back at my life it makes so much sense. But I also know I have reasons to be harbouring childhood trauma. I can't untangle it, and ultimately I know my problems are more than these labels. I'm not a series of clues and codes that can be deciphered and used to make absolute conclusions. A human being will always transcend the diagnosis, and that can be a hopeful thing, because it means your diagnosis will never define you. But it can also be frustrating, because it will always leave you with parts of yourself you will never fully understand. Sorry, that was quite a rant for someone who started out saying they had no strong opinions. But there it is.

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Spicy_Wimp@reddit

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but I don't think I actually have it. I think the school tried to use it as an excuse as they're the ones that got me diagnosed

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Purple-Oil-9985@reddit

My son was diagnosed pre Covid aged 8. Before his diagnosis I knew of one other person with ADHD, a girl I went to university with in 2005. Since Covid, EVERYONE has ADHD. And I mean everyone. I seen a snippet of a podcast the other day of 3 ‘influencers’ talking about someone who had ADHD and all 3 of them revealed ‘oh same hun, I have ADHD’. I just don’t buy it and I think it makes a mockery of those who truly suffer with it.

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BarbaricOklahoma@reddit

It’s real. Many suffer from it extensively. I also believe it’s over-diagnosed, because we live in a massively overstimulating environment and modern society is generally incompatible with how we’ve evolved, so it’s easier to “correct” the person and treat difficulties as a private problem by individuals than a wider societal issue.

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660trail@reddit

Unfortunately, there are private clinics in the UK who will diagnose anyone who will pay them to. There was a documentary about it on TV awhile back where journalists who don't have ADHD went through the process of diagnosis and were given a positive diagnosis. I suspect that this has actually skewed the numbers, and there are people who are diagnosed privately who don't have it. I grew up in the 60s, and when ADHD started to get mentioned in the media in the 80s, it wasn't very comprehensive information, and I think many people including myself thought it was mostly due to bad parenting, especially if they didn't know anyone who has it. However, some 10 years ago when I was researching some of my own very debilitating symptoms online, ADHD kept coming up in the results. I kept ignoring it, because "I don't have that". After awhile, it came up so frequently, and being aware that I didn't really know much about it, I decided to look into it a bit more. What I read certainly was not what I thought it was. I contacted my psychiatrist and suggested it. He put me through the diagnostic process, and hey presto. I was shocked. But reading more and more about it on PubMed etc, I learnt much more about it. I was sent on a CBT course with 30 other patients who were diagnosed. That was an eye opener. What stood out to me was the fact that everyone with ADHD is very different to each other. I do still think that a lot of people my age see it as a made up condition and an excuse for bad behaviour, but unfortunately, they don't make the effort to educate themselves. I would certainly urge you to seek some support from a therapist who is familiar with it.

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yourmomsajoke@reddit

Your paragraphs aren't broken nearly enough, I can't read that. I hate that I have adhd, even medicated as I am and doing OK on it it's still shit. I'd trade it and have full-time ASD instead of the idiotic switchboard I'm running now.

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BaBaFiCo@reddit

I know a few people who use it as an excuse to be real useless dicks, which makes my job harder. They didn't read a policy, they didn't know they had to do X, they didn't listen when they were told. But the outcome is I have to clean up the mess.

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dayus9@reddit

I don't know enough about it to be able to form any firm opinion. As with most things though, I expect it's not black and white.

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finniruse@reddit

Managed to get to 40 and just get a diagnosis. My whole life has been uncomfortable? Why do I hate the office? Why do I like people but find it so exhausting? Why have I started zoning out mid convo and can't follow what's being said? Why do I feel reasonably intelligent but didn't do as well as I'd hoped at school? Why am I lost in my head? Why am I irrationally angry about certain noises and actions? A couple of trips to the doctor's. Anxiety. Some improvements with meditation and exercise. But the meds have been amazing. The surprising change for me, and little else, is my emotions are way more manageable. And that leads to better results. And actually, simply knowing I have ADHD gives me a framework and understanding to be a better me. So I think, why wasn't this identified sooner? A doctor should hear the word anxiety and rule out ADHD. Every time. Thank god for social media influencers explaining their experiences. I do wonder about it as a disability. I dont like thinking of myself in those terms. Because what's the real difference? Slight difference in dopamine and a smaller working memory. Impactful, but pros and cons. I also wonder about it's origin. I know Mate is very controversial here for his opinions around ADHD being produced by being locked in school daily. And parents that are emotionally unavailable or immature or frustrating. A lot of what he says rings true for me. But then I think I like his explanation because it means there's an environmental reason for my challenges rather than a genetic one. Also, I think social media and the way the modern world is set up can effectively cause ADHD like symptoms in a lot of people because our dompenine is tested, through movies, phones, crap food, busy schedules, lack of sunlight, etc etc. Anyway, it's good that it's becoming more of a conversation.

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-MassiveDynamic-@reddit

I relate, the average person sees ADHD and thinks “inattention” or “hyperactive” when in reality it’s a condition that can affect almost every aspect of our lives. Emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, addiction, hypersexuality, lifelong insomnia, anhedonia The NHS absolutely fucking sucks for ADHD and everyone who is diagnosed/is seeking diagnosis should look into right to choose. People aren’t over diagnosed at all but I see where you’re coming from as I do notice a lot of social media accounts or targeted advertisements re: ADHD. Stimulant meds and cannabis bring some relief but it’s still something I deal with every day

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tinyarmyoverlord@reddit

So. I was diagnosed in the 90s. As a kid through my school back in the states. I had two options given to my mom at the time 1) Medicate and fall in line 2) gifted education. My mother chose the second and while I’m grateful for it because I got taught alllll the coping mechanisms. I also went through international baccalaureate which provided a gateway to come to uni in the Uk. Sometimes, I just wanted to feel normal. All through my 20s I never really got why I was the way I was. Unless it was interesting and challenging, I wasn’t going to do the thing. What this lead to for me was the breakdown of my marriage, no big deal really. And more importantly, I started my own business. Because I’m the over achiever sort, any job I had I had to be the best and do more. For obviously not asking for more pay. Which pissed everyone off. So I had to find a way to channel that in my own way. Do I broadcast I’m different? Neurodivergent? No. Because it doesn’t matter. I love what I do, I love how I am. I do have access to medication now and while it does help, I strongly prefer being a free spirit sparkly individual just like my mother encouraged some 25 years ago. I do think too many people are just broadcasting any diagnosis and over sharing way too much about their lives but that’s what social media encourages 🤷‍♀️

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TehDragonGuy@reddit

I suspect I have it, but I suspect it's also massively overdiagnosed which is why I'm refusing to actually get it looked at.

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himit@reddit

more underdiagnosed tbh, it's really hard to get assessed. I didn't read the whole post but as someone with it - it's handy to know you've got it because you can start figuring out how your brain works (and how to work with it to get it to do what you want!) which makes life less of a struggle, and ofc medication helps with that too. I don't like the propensity of people to treat it like an excuse. There are very few things I flat out *can't* do because of adhd - plenty of things will be harder (so is there something I can do to mitigate that?), a few things will be an outright struggle almost every time (so is there a trick I can use? or can I restructure things to avoid needing to x as much as possible?) but it doesn't have to limit me.

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TehDragonGuy@reddit

Underdiagnoaed in terms of the proportion of people that have been diagnosed vs the proportion of people who have it, maybe. Maybe what I meant more was a lot of false positives. So many of the symptoms are aligned with just how our brains have been destroyed by social media and small form factor content that it's hard to differentiate the two. My symptoms could just be a result of me rotting my brain and neither me nor a psychiatrist would know. The main reason I'd want a diagnosis is exactly what you said, about knowing it so I can start working out how to work with it. I feel like if it turned out I did have it, it could explain a lot, even if it doesn't mean it's an excuse for them or it won't help fix them.

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himit@reddit

> So many of the symptoms are aligned with just how our brains have been destroyed by social media and small form factor content that it's hard to differentiate the two. So there's the 'attention' side where this is definitely true - and leads to something called executive dysfunction, which is like when you doom scroll even though you're not enjoying it & just can't stop. The whole emotional side of it (esp RSD), memory black holes, and uh...ironically I'm blanking 😂 but there's lots of little things, eg my grandma *always* burnt her hands taking things out of the oven. That kind of stuff isn't social media induced.

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ValenciaHadley@reddit

Did you know they reckon that [50% to 70%](https://www.healthwatch.co.uk/blog/2025-07-28/impact-having-adhd-and-autism) of autistic people also have ADHD??? Self diagnosis isn't necessarily wrong, some places in the UK have years long wait for just one assessment and then have to go back on the years long waitlist. If you ask me the NHS would save a lot of time and money assessing ADHD and Autism together. Either way my opinion is that some self diganosis is valid and some people don't want or need an assessment for extra support and whatever reason. Sometimes just knowing so you can make accomadations for yourself is enough. Obviously you should get your information from somewhere other than the interent, talk to your GP and other people etc etc etc. I also think there's too much being put on over diagnosis these days, we've only just figure out that women can have autism and/or ADHD. We've also only recently figured out that you can have both together so it's only logical assessments and those diagnosed with neurodiversities are increasing.

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Historical_Project86@reddit

An ADD or ADHD diagnosis is very useful for the person being diagnosed, as they can then start to come to terms with that, with the help of medication and/or therapy.

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gwvr47@reddit

So I work with several people with ADHD. It does require careful management and you have to be aware that they will just zone out so lengthy meetings and calls are a terrible idea. That being said, no one likes these so actually forcing you to change a bit is a good thing. The disorganisation can be really annoying but again this is a management thing of what needs to be managed and what can be ignored. You have to accept that stuff isn't going to get done and build in buffers to facilitate. Again, this is just good management. Where I get frustrated is the amount of people who use it as an excuse. There's a difference between having an ADHD paralysis day on occasion and getting nothing done sometimes and never having any output at all!

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becpuss@reddit

The majority of the public have very little understanding of what ADHD actually is and how it presents and the impact of it that is a root of public incomprehension of the condition it is assumed an active child must be adhd when there are a variety of of other disorders issues to consider

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Scared-Room-9962@reddit

I can't read that post, it's too long and after a quick scan has weird things in about trans people and pronouns. ADHD is an obstacle I have yet to fully overcome. I'm married with kids and have a good job but it holds me back from so much.

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Bina-Boom@reddit

So much publicity about ADHD is a good thing. Thanks to that as a 66 year old woman, I now understand myself better. No official diagnosis but there are so many signs through my life and really it’s just become my personality. I think my mum knew and helped me as a child and young adult with coping mechanisms. I got a degree and was really good at my job. I never get bored, have loads of hobbies and am very creative. I have friends but was a bit hopeless with relationships but according to my sister, my “personality” is what makes me so lovable. My nephew and his son have ADHD and my cousin is autistic. It’s a family thing but no longer with such stigma.

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helpmaboabjings@reddit

I work with someone who self diagnosed themselves as an adult. In all honesty, she is infuriating to work with as she's inconsiderate, selfish and always needs to be told what to do. I'm just waiting for the day for her to claim it's her ADHD that causes it.

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having_an_accident@reddit

The more the diagnoses get handed out, the less everyone takes it seriously

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