do you make any assumptions about people who live on a council estate?

I was an extremely fortunate child. My dad was a factory owner (with his family) and I have been brought up with a lot of privilege and luxury. I was made very aware by some children in my quite nicely located state schools, that I was not like them- and I think it was just another excuse to bully the shit out of me. They always found a reason to treat me like crap- too fat, too ugly, hair too curly, too nerdy, too smart, dad drives a jag to school, dad makes a lot of money, hang with ugly friends, cares too much about school etc. I grew up with a mom who was from a very rough council estate, who married my already wealthy dad. My mom would HAVE to have the latest trends and things. EVERYTHING she had, HAD to be designer. She loved showing off to her friends and family all the things her husband could afford for her, and then say, “oh you should have seen their face, they’re so jealous. I can’t help it we have more money than they’ll ever have”. And my dad worked with a lot of people from lower socioeconomic backgrounds, who told me when he died, the whole family ethos of the company died with him. They said, “he was always there to help us, listen to our problems, never judged us, help us change our circumstances and now he’s gone.” It seemed they missed him for what he offered and could no longer get, more than for who he was. I grew up seeing my dad being a very charitable man, helping others when they probably didn’t deserve it. Who would pull you up if you judged another person too stereotypically based on their background. Who reminded you just how lucky we were. How other children don’t get the privilege we do. My mom would do the same, pull us up on being stereotypical and prejudice. Yet would have no problems bitching about someone less fortunate than herself, because she “got out the ghetto- why can’t they? They’ll always be stuck because they don’t make smart choices”. When my dad died, he left a lot of money. But not as much as my mom once thought, which she was very angry about, because surely my dad was worth more? And someone in his family was screwing her over. She still managed to live a lavish lifestyle off it, own 2 houses, drive a nice car and not have to work. I never saw any of that money, but apparently the hot tub I never used was for the family. I met a man (an accountant) who came from a humble working class background. He wasn’t from a council estate, but his mom and dad weren’t rich- just a comfortable family, with what I thought were good morals (they were Christians, members of their local community groups, law-abiding, kept a nice home with inexpensive, but beautiful objects, incredibly clean and well dressed, and had good levels of education). One day, we were at a large gathering. My ex’s dad introduced me as his son’s girlfriend and then said to his friends, “oh she’s from a council estate you know” and did a grimace-smile thing. I said, “oh, I don’t know where you got that from? I’m not from a council estate.” And he said, “I thought A said your dad was a factory worker and your mom is from a council estate”. I said in front of others, “yes she was brought up on one. I didn’t live there. My dad owned a factory with his family. I’ve never lived on a council estate. In fact, my family homes were probably 3 of your houses. And I’m aware that I have never had to go hungry, or worry if my family can afford the bills. I’ve eaten in some of the finest restaurants and seen some of the most beautiful sights in the world from a young age. I am very aware that I was an extremely fortunate person, born into immense privilege. And I see people less fortunate in the world and consider myself very lucky. And instead of making less fortunate people the butt of jokes at a party, we should be just be thankful for what we have.” Well it didn’t go down well. I was miss Posh and Privileged. Clearly a gold-digger like my mom. Clearly not got a clue about the real world. Clearly doesn’t know what it’s like to want for anything. I couldn’t even buy an item I wanted from the shop without my ex saying, “we can’t afford your fancy shampoo. We can’t afford your moisturiser. You’re always trying to bleed me dry”. But he had his fancy beard oils, would only shop at Levi’s for jeans, would only wear designer shoes, bought new clothes every month, and then screamed at me for buying a £40 maternity wedding guest dress, because it wasn’t in our budget. Then he would be angry at me because I didn’t wear nice clothes in public, my hair was never maintained (he would rage if I got my hair done, even if I paid for it) or if I bought the kids something from a charity shop. He said I was embarrassing him. Later on down the line, I’d come to find that his mom would one day, shut me in a room after noticing I had black eyes (pretending to be concerned and she just wants to talk) and threatened to kill me if I ever hurt her son financially, or if I went to the police about it and ruined his life. And that I am to tell no one how it happened. His dad and my ex kicked the shit out of me because when my very rich grandad died, I refused to give my ex the inheritance he was giving me, for him to keep safe and I had got angry about him constantly asking about the money and said, “I’m leaving you”. My grandad had been dead 6 days, I didn’t even have access to that money, I was still grieving. I didn’t know my ex wanted that money because he was planning on running off with his mistress. His mom and dad knew he had a mistress and never told me. They would insist I was a crazy woman, who was obsessed with thinking I was being cheated on. And clearly I just wanted to take my ex’s money and run off with the kids, so would find any excuse. I did eventually leave. And I decided with a 50/50 split of the kids, I wouldn’t ask for maintenance. I rented my home. He kept the house and all his money. He moved his mistress in. I left him alone to heal easier. I didn’t cause a fuss about money, which was a bit of manipulation on my part, because it drove his father wild that I wasn’t taking my ex for everything he had (my ex’s ex-wife also left with nothing too. So she obviously knew the score with this family long before I did). I didn’t take a thing. I had to get new beds, clothes, toys for the children. I had to get a new sofa (he wouldn’t let me have one of his, even though my aunt donated them to me, he said, “oh so you want to take everything from me? You gold digging whore”), new kitchen appliances. Thankfully I worked full time, got benefits and my grandads money has helped with some of this (bless him, I still miss him dearly). It was only this year that my ex came to my door and thanked me for not actually being the person he, or his parents said I would be. For not taking everything. He apologised and said, “I was wrong. We all were. You never asked for a thing, other than to be protected and loved, and we all did a really shit job of that.” And I responded, “I’m okay. I’m making it through. And the kids are happy”. This morning, my mom, who hasn’t seen me in months and rarely checks in, messaged to ask for £15 to buy cigarettes. In all honesty, money makes people evil. Rich or poor, money makes people evil. And I think if you’ve never really had it, you’re a lot more humble. And if they’ve come from it, or become rich later on, they feel entitled to belittle those less fortunate, or they absolutely forget where they come from. Money or lack of, doesn’t buy class and dignity. And good people come from all walks of life. Bad people come from every background. You don’t have to be on a council estate to be pond-life. Usually it’s the rich who are the real scum.