The BEST part about getting older......

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HipHopGrandpa@reddit

Congrats! You gave birth at 46? What was that like, any complications?

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krillthemalll@reddit

My wife age 42 did. No problems at all. 3 week old perfect baby girl!

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HipHopGrandpa@reddit

Now that’s incredible. Congrats to you both.

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Me at 40: No, I'm not getting married. No, I'm not having more kids. I'm done. My aspiration in life is to be the Crazy Cat Lady! Me at 44: Okay, so I got married and had two more kids and now my aspiration is to be a SAHM because I hate my career.

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corvus_wulf@reddit

When I was in my 30s my extended family would ask ..then 40s and it stopped cold , thankfully

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Barnitch@reddit

People finally stopped asking me when I'd give my daughter a sibling. I'm one and done, and that's not by choice. It's rude to push it. I hate when it's inferred that my daughter will be some kind of social freak because of it. Only children stereotypes are outdated. My daughter has lots of friends and is the least selfish person I know. She's a little weird, but that's just because she's related to me, not because she doesn't have a brother or sister.

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krissym99@reddit

I have one kid who is now 16. Having one kid invites a lot of commentary. Even at age 44 and with my husband being 49, we recently got a suggestion that we have another child! Horrifying!!

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Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit

I'm 45 and my wife is soon to be 55 and we *still* get asked about kids. We tried for years, did IVF 3 times, it didn't work. After spending nearly 90 grand on IVF, we got the adoption suggestions on repeat for a few years afterwards. Funny how blowing that much on failed procedures eats into the adoption budget. (And if you've never looked into adoption, it's hideously expensive. Between the paperwork that needs lawyers, the state and agency fees, it adds up quickly. When we were seriously considering it after our third IVF failure, we actually started the process and quickly found out that we couldn't afford it simply because of the up front costs, costs that added up to around $30,000. These kids *need* homes, good stable homes that we could have provided but the process is so expensive and such a pain that we just gave up. It's like they go out of their way to discourage you from actually adopting a child.)

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sorrymizzjackson@reddit

Right? When I tell them that adoption is ridiculously expensive and would severely impact my ability to you know actually provide a good life for them financially, they act like that’s news to them. You can get a cat for $25? What could one child cost? $200 max?

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Adventurous_Cloud_20@reddit

People truly have no clue how costly it is, especially older folks wanting grandchildren. My mother in law pestered my wife endlessly about adoption after the third IVF failure, and was shocked when we showed her the bill our attorney gave us just for filing the initial paperwork. She was also clueless about how expensive the IVF was and had no idea my insurance didn't cover it. Those $30,000 rounds of IVF came out of our savings, we refinanced our house to do the third one. She finally quit screeching about grandchildren after we filled her in on our financial situation.

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sorrymizzjackson@reddit

Oof. I’m sorry you went through that. Not only do you have to deal with it not working out, but the loss of financial stability while this one is over here not even considering the toll it’s taking on you. Our insurance didn’t cover it either and we couldn’t afford it.

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Barnitch@reddit

Adoption is insanely expensive. And of course, it can be a beautiful thing. Unfortunately though, it can also go wrong. There are cases where the parents treat the adoptive child differently, and it messes with their psyche. There are cases when the parents are wonderful to the child, but they still feel like they don't belong and paint a false picture in their head about their birth parents. A lot of adoptive kids come with genetic issues or are predisposed to certain conditions and behaviors. My friends adopted a girl and gave her a really beautiful life. They have a good relationship and she's very thankful. She's stunningly beautiful too. The type where you think her life is perfect because she's so pretty. Having said that, she's been in and out of drug and alcohol rehabs for the past 6 years. She sought out her birth mom and they met in person a few times and were developing a relationship. She was an addict too, and ended up taking her life. The poor girl was already suffering, but that really threw her for a loop. I feel horrible for everyone involved. My friends had NO idea how sideways adoption could go. Honestly, I don't think they'd do it again if they knew the outcome.

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sorrymizzjackson@reddit

Very fair. I have a friend who was abandoned at 2 years old and was taken into what by all accounts is a great family. She is in her 30’s and has not recovered from that very first wound.

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Barnitch@reddit

Again, not to discredit all the wonderful adoptions that have gone well. Adoption starts with trauma for the baby and birth parent(s). I'm pointing this out because it sounds so idyllic to the "just adopt" crowd. They probably just envision a baby in need getting raised by loving parents who long for a kid. And yes, it can definitely work out that way. But it can also go wrong and it isn't always the perfect solution people think it is.

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sorrymizzjackson@reddit

Correct. It’s basically trauma all around. At best you find a way to make it the best. At worst, you’re still the people you were before and great intentions go a long way. They might not get there though.

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Barnitch@reddit

Right, I love the "suggestion." As if we never really thought about it.

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willeminadafriend@reddit

No-one should ask about this, and no-one should have to explain themselves 💛

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Barnitch@reddit

Thank you. The worst is when they won't take no for an answer. "Well, you never know..." Um no, I can assure you Carla, there will be no more children.

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rojoshow13@reddit

The best part about getting older is that each day I'm closer to the grave.

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Mobile-Boss-8566@reddit

That or when are you going to get married?. None of their business!!

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Blando-Cartesian@reddit

Complaining about family asking about intentions to have kids is such a humblebrag. Oo look at me how I have my life and shit together. Looks like I have a home, health, partner, mental and monetary resources for lifelong commitment to create and support new humans. /s Try being perpetually singe, fat, middle aged in a family gathering.

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edasto42@reddit

In my 20’s I knew I didn’t want them and used to donate part of my paycheck to the Zero Population Growth Fund to help others stop reproducing as well. In my 30’s I had some guy tell me I should kill myself because I didn’t want kids. That has stuck with me and has lessened my patience for all parents and their kids (sorry one bad apple and all that). Add to that I didn’t really enjoy my childhood that much and realized early that creating another tax payer to feed the bullshit system is a terrible idea. Now pushing 50’s, hanging out with mostly either other childfree people, others outside my circle assume that I have them. I enjoy telling them I don’t and have seen a few conversations just stop because there are some that don’t have much to converse about beyond their children (which is fine for them but doesn’t fly when outside their bubble).

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Greedy_Practice_5327@reddit

Now I get, oh you don't have kids?? THAT IS SO SAD!!

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hey_nonny_mooses@reddit

In THIS economy?

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GenXMillenial@reddit

I am SHOCKED whenever I see a baby out in public these days because of the cost and lack of benefits for having them

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Secure_Bed_9110@reddit

It's a great time to hit 'em with the deadpan, "well, I always wanted to, but I spent my 30s battling cancer, so unfortunately that decision was kind of taken out of my hands. But thanks." Then just look at them.

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toodleoo77@reddit

Choose your response accordingly: 1) Oh, not at all, it’s wonderful! 2) Yes, we were unable to have children, it is deeply upsetting for us.

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Such_Victory4589@reddit

i just retort: "with my mental health?" shuts that shit down and slaps a lock on the door

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LopensCouisin@reddit

I just ask them, how so?

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torhne@reddit

Kids are the absolute worst pets ever.

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HipHopGrandpa@reddit

Really? I thought your dog won that award?

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torhne@reddit

... Dont have a dog. Was this meant to be funny or accusatory ? Im not sure what angle you are going for because all of them failed.

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ScreamThyLastScream@reddit

*It just wasn't working out so we sent her back to the hospital for an abortion.*

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torhne@reddit

40th trimester eh?

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ChiefBroady@reddit

I prefer cats over kids, thank you.

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ariyahjade@reddit

I love being fat and ugly, I’ve never had those questions 😂

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GreatKingRat666@reddit

It gets replaced with “do you have a family”?

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theflush1980@reddit

I had that question 2 years ago. I was like “oh honey, I’m 44 and my partner is 55. If we wanted to have kids, they surely should have been there by now” And then she said “oh I thought you guys were way younger than that”. To which I answered “that’s because we don’t have kids”

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PMmeHappyStraponPics@reddit

I don't begrudge anyone their choice to have (or not have) kids, but if you refer to your pets as your "children" "fur babies," "the grand cats" or anything else like that, I assume you're a child who can't be trusted with anything more complicated than putting water in a bowl.

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Impressive-Snow-3416@reddit

A much younger co-worker asked if I wanted kids. Internally I was like but I'm too old! And somehow also too young!! So I blurted out "no! I want money and vacations!" Then I took my money and went on vacation.

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HillBillyMadman@reddit

I made it known when I was 10 that I didn't ever want any children. 30+ years later, I still don't.

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Mysterious_Sound2765@reddit

Yeeeeessss, this is the way. Same!

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HillBillyMadman@reddit

Only issue I've really had is like, most of the women I've dated want kids and marriage so usually falls apart early on.

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Mysterious_Sound2765@reddit

I had the opposite experience dating men in my 20s. I'd tell them, "I *never* want to get married, and I *never* want to give birth," and they were like, "COOL" 😂 Been with my lifelove for 15 years. He doesn't want marriage or kids either. There's someone out there for you!

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HillBillyMadman@reddit

I've met some people now, in my 40s, and the few I've talked to...3 were recently single, but have teens/adult children. Which, fine, but it's a family dynamic and they can take care of themselves, but it's still not what I want. The one's without, the two I was talking to, are "open to adoption." Fine, but again, it's a hard no. I'm ok being single. I can go out, have fun. Sometimes people just stay single.

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Mysterious_Sound2765@reddit

True!

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DameKitty@reddit

I'm 46, after my youngest was born (last year) my mil told me I should do something to make sure we don't have more. Chance is there until you hit menopause, unless you decide to do something to permanently keep it from happening. (Full hysterectomy is about foolproof, deciding to not have sex is foolproof) If you don't want kids, don't have them and tell anyone trying to tell you otherwise to mind their beeswax. Not their life, not their choice.

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Ok_Salamander6797@reddit

I'm 45 in August and they're still asking

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Hot-Parsley-6193@reddit

Had a hysterectomy and ovaries out last year. My MiL: “So I guess you’re really not going to give me grandchildren?" Ho that was never happening, glad you will stop asking tho

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percephony@reddit

I hate that toxic mindset! As if you *need* to give her grandchildren ugh honestly I had a hysto and now my go-to answer to this is "can't, I've been spayed"

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Ishvale@reddit

At 48 they'll stop asking you to help move. It's fucking great

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chill_will_7777@reddit

Yes! And also one of the best parts of my hysterectomy, people stopped asking 😂

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ihatepizza1998@reddit

No more kids. These teenagers are driving me into the poor house.

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mynameisbobsky@reddit

Not giving a fuck.

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walkingturtlelady@reddit

At 43, I still think people may mistake me for being pregnant if I gain weight. Slowly realizing they probably think I’m too old for another baby.

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VisiblePlatform6704@reddit

Lol 45yo here. We just had a bbq at home with my wife's cousings. Everyone with kids 10 to 15 yold. I am so glad I didn't have kids. :)

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willeminadafriend@reddit

Yes I love that part about this phase too

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jailasauraa@reddit

My Pops learned his lesson after he kept badgering me about getting married....he wouldn't DARE ask me about kids even before I got those parts removed....

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SteveEcks@reddit

My sister in law is constantly getting asked if she's changed her mind about kids. We're in our 40s y'all. If we want them, we've got them.

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birdsword@reddit

I keep having people ask if we are going to have more kids. Do you see the bags under my eyes, my gray hair and my beer belly? Shit, sometimes I'm ready to sell the ones I do have.

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DeSota@reddit

I manage to have all those things with no kids!

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ChiefBroady@reddit

That stopped with me about 10 years earlier.

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Vintage_Visionary@reddit

Yep. NO MORE QUESTIONS. Blessed silence. 'You'll change your mind when you're older'... well I'm older, and my mind is not changed. So here we are (what a relief). ![gif](giphy|Wp0ZtQjgViqR2)

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Usirnaimtaken@reddit

I’m 46 and infertile (not by choice). I still get asked. 😑

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Stonetheflamincrows@reddit

I’m 41 and still occasionally get asked if I’m going to have another (my kid is 15). I can’t think of anything worse than having a baby at this age! I do love the fact that I’m just caring less and less what people think. I also enjoy becoming more and more invisible, I just want to be left alone!

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Powerful_Leg8519@reddit

It’s the best. Do you have kids? Nope. Ok. That’s it. No awkward questions. No there is still time. No you will regret it. Just silence and thy move on. It’s fantastic.

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GeneSmart2881@reddit

Learning the bare minimum what I need to sustain my soul. Including people / friends.

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Ihatebigmosquitos@reddit

So are you going to have grandkids?

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Lindenismean@reddit

That’s where I show them pictures of my kid’s cats.

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okfine79@reddit

One of my kids has a sphinx that is black and hairless. He is the coolest grand cat ever

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Sufficient_Focus4174@reddit

My wife and I are 47 and chose not to have kids. We made our decision known and our main reason being that if kids were able to still be kids and grow up in the kind of society we were lucky enough to grow up in, we’d likely have a few. But we aren’t voluntarily dealing with the BS parents have to battle with these days. Nobody questioned us about that lol. It was the best decision for us.

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Sufficient_Focus4174@reddit

![gif](giphy|OWrtdm1irskAE)

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Josef_Kant_Deal@reddit

I had a coworker ask if I had kids. I told him that I wanted to have children, but life happened its way and I never had a chance. I think it made the conversation awkward enough to where he hasn't mentioned it since.

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midnight-dour@reddit

There’s a few who are still asking if I have a GF yet…

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noonesaidityet@reddit

I had to have a short but heated conversation with my mother after years of her nonstop asking me and my wife. She then set her sights on my sister, which led to a much longer and even more heated discussion between my mother and I. She still drops little comments here and there, especially around Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that's about it.

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flabergasterer@reddit

I had a friend in this situation. He was actually sympathetic to his overbearing mom. Youngest of 3. Mom had no grandkids. Turn his 54 year old brother in the Philippines got his 19 year old girlfriend (now wife) pregnant. So…her wish has been granted.

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miranym@reddit

I told mine we were sterilized and that shut her up for good.

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RoyDonkeyKong@reddit

We haven’t been asked in a long time. Ten years maybe? I’m not saying No-Kids is right for everyone, but it’s worked the fuck out for us.

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LopensCouisin@reddit

That actually happened when my husband’s brother and wife had kids 13 years ago. We were off the hook. However, nobody asks now at 45. It’s really nice.

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ReferredByJorge@reddit

My family is dying off with my generation. We had a good run.

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aliceinadreamyland@reddit

I think the best part is being able to eat ice cream for dinner if I want, but I see your point.

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genesimmonstongue415@reddit

I got my Vasectomy when I was 32. Most people know this about me. I'm glad they stopped asking this stupid bullshit. Side notes Best $10 I ever spent. g*d bless my Union healthcare. // Wish I did it sooner. But docs are prejudiced again people < 30. // I will be the 1st to say, CF Ladies get crapped on 100X MORE than us CF Fellas... & that is DOG SHIT.

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This_Entrance6629@reddit

I just had kids

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krissym99@reddit

I have one kid who is now 16. Having one kid invites a lot of commentary. Even at age 44 and with my husband being 49, we recently got a suggestion that we have another child!

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singleguy79@reddit

Oddly, my parents have never asked me this...nor have they asked if I'm ever going to get into a relationship but that's the besides the point.

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Bob-Dolemite@reddit

just say “that didnt work out for us”. keeps them guessing

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Mom2Dos@reddit

I hear you. It needs to be normalized to not ask this question, regardless of age.

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