I've been committing benefit fraud for the good part of the last 10 years. How do I get out of it?

Hi, throwaway for obvious reasons and I hope the mods will allow this post. Some details removed from OP at automods request. My situation is fucked up on multiple levels and it took me weeks to find the courage to post. My background: - Around 60, M - I have lived in UK for 30 years, I worked hard for the first 14 years and rarely on benefits before 2013. - Chronic untreated major depression since my teens, suicidal since 2020, heavily suicidal for a couple of weeks for a gazillion of reasons. - I have reached a stage in my life that I have to be completely honest with myself and this is one of the many things that doesn't make me sleep. (There are more than this. I also want to come clean with myself if I ever have to take my life and I am in the stage where I want to punish myself. The Facts. Im 2013, I was living in the UK, then I spent a year abroad and wasted all my money, trying to build myself a career. Came back to the UK in 2015 almost penniless, I lived off savings, then found a job until early 2016. Then I started claiming benefits (old style JSA + housing benefit). Terrorised that I'd be penniless again, I started living a very frugal life and I decided to put a couple of £200 every month away, cash. Then I had a few jobs in between until 2021. When I was working, I sometimes put even more away, like £300 or £400 a month away, all this cash, not in my account. I know this is against the law, I am not looking for excuses. I just deluded myself that one day, I'd have found the dream job and pay this money back by paying a lot of tax. Then Covid came in, I lost my job, became suicidal, got UC+LCWRA. I could have stopped back then, but I decided to carry on hoarding. Most of the money comes from when the extra money for LCRA was around between 2021 and 2022. The stupidest thing is that I could have spent this money on a good psychiatrist, or fixing my teeth and my poor health, but I decided to live a miserable money and hoard. I couldn't stop. I have more than £30k in cash and I feel shit about it. I have been heavily suicidal for the last couple of weeks, for a number of reasons, but this could be the tipping point. I was wrong, I have done something illegal, I don't know how to get out if this. At the moment there is no reason the DWP knows about this, unless they break into my place. It's only me vs my conscience. My options: 1) Turn myself in: this can mean repaying all the money, + fines + interests + a possible jail sentence +not having money to pay for therapy, fixing teeth (has to be done privately) and other general health problems that also have to be done privately. 2) I don't turn myself in, stop hoarding, spend my money on therapy, fixing my health and eventually this will, after the expenses, increase my savings and get me out of benefits. This would probably look good enough to the DWP but not enough my conscience. 3) I don't turn myself in, get a job, get out of benefits, nobody would know anything, I stop being a burden to the DWP, I pay tax. This could make me feel better, only that I am depressed as f, suicidal, old and who would give me a job. I would like to have your opinion please.