Change your pronouns to I/me/my and become a criminal.

Posted by Octocube25@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 13 comments

Whenever a witness tries to describe the crime, they accidentally admit that they did it.

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13 Comments

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andstillthesunrises@reddit

I once played a character in a game who used I/me pronouns for every other character because they considered all the other characters parts of themself. I had to point at who I was talking about every time I said something

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Accomplished_Ant5895@reddit

Change your name to Innocent. So you can legally say “I am Innocent.”

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The_Troyminator@reddit

Change or name to “Not Guilty.” Then when the jury reads the verdict, they’ll say, “ You just have to make sure to cough really loud after that say your name: “We find the defendant, Not Guilty, <cough>.”

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Tensor3@reddit

We find the defendant, Not Guilty, guilty

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teffz28@reddit

I feel like we’re missing the very obvious naming of Not. You just have to make sure you’re guilty, wouldn’t wanna be Not not guilty.

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The_Troyminator@reddit

Yeah, but then you’d better hope you get a horrible lawyer, because if they say, “Not not guilty”, you’ll go to prison.

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ortolon@reddit

No wonder no one ever sued Walter or Cordelia Knot, of Knotts Berry Farm.

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CoderJoe1@reddit

Changing my name to Innocent Bystander

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CoderJoe1@reddit

In a first person shooter game I used the gamer tag, "A Civilian" so that when I got shot they'd get an alert that said, "You Killed A Civilian."

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Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit

That’s when the prosecution hits you with the opposite day.

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Kind-Stomach6275@reddit

"The criminal killed seven people."

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Steve-Shouts@reddit

The DEFENDANT killed 7 people

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NaiveZest@reddit

And if you are the criminal then you can use a bogus pipeline to look guilty to look innocent.

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