TheaterFire

When chuck norris does push ups, he pushes the earth down

Posted by Blue_Moon_Cheese@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 54 comments

When chuck norris does push ups, he pushes the earth down

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54 Comments

Unlucky_Committee786@reddit

My favorite is: Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
View on Reddit #81288111

CraaZero@reddit

Chuck Norris once tried to become a hero, but he ended up a legend ![gif](giphy|xIxDPskBEHWSRJnw0p)
View on Reddit #81168118

MoldyRoleplayer@reddit

A known legend thats a republican MAGA Trump supporter, supported idea of separation of Texas from the US, supported anti gay laws, loves Israel, yup, legend to us all..
View on Reddit #81271157

Scottish_Whiskey@reddit

He’s just hibernating. It’s tiring being so badass all day
View on Reddit #81228209

hanafudaman@reddit

Chuck Norris fucked my wife and I got pregnant.
View on Reddit #81224308

awesomedan24@reddit

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now known as The Islands
View on Reddit #81163500

DrinkIntelligent9707@reddit

Islands: “Later, virgins”
View on Reddit #81224263

CzechCzar@reddit

Chuck Norris once visited your mom
View on Reddit #81203660

UncleKeyPax@reddit

All the Islands not called virgin is who was left after he left
View on Reddit #81197727

FHFH913@reddit

Chuck Norris visited op
View on Reddit #81163653

Gahendir@reddit

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo hides
View on Reddit #81164205

darkcomet222@reddit

So what happens now?
View on Reddit #81170649

tut_i_tam_comics@reddit

We pray
View on Reddit #81212613

Notorik@reddit

Waldo will be finding us. There is no way to stop him now.
View on Reddit #81171088

yumstheman@reddit

He’s on the hunt again, God help us.
View on Reddit #81208362

brecka@reddit

Shit. SCP-4885 is loose
View on Reddit #81200672

SpaceBug176@reddit

Now? Heheh... Let's go practice medicine...
View on Reddit #81171105

bigbirdgenocide@reddit

Chuck Norris sucked dick for cab fare, then walked home.
View on Reddit #81209095

saichampa@reddit

Chuck Norris was scared of gay people and wanted to remove their rights and failed
View on Reddit #81204739

AusCro@reddit

Chuck Norris tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry
View on Reddit #81200148

Fidelias_Palm@reddit

The way 2026 is going, he might not be wrong.
View on Reddit #81184357

TFreshNoLimits@reddit

Things were actually going pretty ideal for him considering his politics
View on Reddit #81199656

Sbotkin@reddit

This is how I find out, via a fucking greentext subreddit
View on Reddit #81192273

Skydude252@reddit

Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just didn’t have the courage built up to tell him until yesterday.
View on Reddit #81164416

acart005@reddit

Wait a minute.  Combined with the other meme that means we all died 10 years ago and are in purgatory or hell. Which explains a lot.
View on Reddit #81165851

GIBBEEEHHH@reddit

And it lines up with 2016 too
View on Reddit #81168127

Nicktendo13@reddit

![gif](giphy|KEYEpIngcmXlHetDqz)
View on Reddit #81191665

thundegun@reddit

Coincidence? I think NOT!
View on Reddit #81171785

SpaceBug176@reddit

Can't believe a random joke lines up this well. Actually I can believe it, since it was bound to happen with all the random jokes.
View on Reddit #81171166

Drs3RTH@reddit

Chuck Norris was in all the star wars movies, he was the for force
View on Reddit #81164106

Plane_Hat7902@reddit

this made me giggle for a while
View on Reddit #81191557

Rukawork@reddit

Chuck Norris once built a snowman out of rain.
View on Reddit #81187255

Expensive-Algae-5255@reddit

Chuck Norris didn’t die, he’s just… missing in action
View on Reddit #81186672

SpaceBug176@reddit

Once a venomous snake bit Chuck Norris. After three days of pure agony, the snake died.
View on Reddit #81163954

Expensive-Algae-5255@reddit

Expendables 3 mentioned
View on Reddit #81186583

Epictetus190443@reddit

When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
View on Reddit #81173067

thundegun@reddit

A Great American is to meet Jesus.
View on Reddit #81171820

YorkPorkWasTaken@reddit

> As angels sang out > in immaculate chorus > up to the heavens > ascended Chuck Norris
View on Reddit #81170133

Reading_username@reddit

>who delivered a kick >Which could shatter bones >Into the crotch >Of Epstein and his crones
View on Reddit #81171684

Comfortablymoist1@reddit

If only he consumed more Pokemon Vore Inflation.
View on Reddit #81170946

AlabamaPanda777@reddit

Chuck Norris never lets a girl on top, because Chuck Norris never fucks up
View on Reddit #81169810

RunInRunOn@reddit

Chuck Norris only died because he knew his barbecue skills were needed in Hell
View on Reddit #81168339

TheRealFish_@reddit

how many pushups can chuck norris do in one session? all of them.
View on Reddit #81168066

UpsetPhilosopher4661@reddit

death had to take him in his sleep to succeed
View on Reddit #81167699

Elowiny-San-IL@reddit

Chuck put two fingers in an outlet. The electricity got chuckcuted.
View on Reddit #81166497

Unsayingtitan@reddit

THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT
View on Reddit #81166171

esssssto@reddit

Chuck Norris created spoons because It was too easy to kill with knifes and forks.
View on Reddit #81165715

timmyx2times@reddit

We’re in hell
View on Reddit #81165705

Real___Teeth@reddit

Chuck Norris picked an apple from an orange tree and turned it into lemonade.
View on Reddit #81165667

Okkoschonte@reddit

Death retired, Chuck took over.
View on Reddit #81165263

Queny@reddit

My favorite one is “every night before going to bed, the bogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris”
View on Reddit #81164730

Bamboonicorn@reddit

So our universe is simply what happens to the NPCs after you get the game over screen.  Damn
View on Reddit #81164524

Tempeng18@reddit

Chuck Norris doesn’t do push-ups, he does Earth-downs
View on Reddit #81164461

Fern-ando@reddit

Actually the continents don't move, is just Chuck Norris doing push ups.
View on Reddit #81164449