Americans who have visited Europe, is it really true what they say that it is easier to make friends in America than in Europe?

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gummibearhawk@reddit

Yes. I lived in Germany for 5 years. I hardly ever had random Germans talk to me, while it happens all the time in America

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

That's interesting because, in my anecdotal experience travelling abroad, Germans seem much more outgoing than a lot of other nationalities. Maybe it's just the Germans on vacation.

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Mayor_of_BBQ@reddit

they are quite happy to strike up a conversation just to tell you that you’re fat

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Js987@reddit

You know, it’s funny I’ve seen somebody do that too!

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ODaysForDays@reddit

Gotta hit em with "Did you know you are quite socially inept? Where I'm from nobody is so socially inept. It's fascinating to me like the paralympics of conversation"

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Impossible_Virus@reddit

The problem is that I always think of better comebacks like an hour later

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Daddysheremyluv@reddit

Not surprised you are the most popular model 🥁 and well played

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Mosquito_Salad@reddit

That’s called L'esprit de l'escalier, or staircase wit. You think of the comeback later on, perhaps while walking down the stairs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier

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WampaCat@reddit

lol as if a there’s single fat person out there just somehow blissfully unaware that they’re fat

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that-Sarah-girl@reddit

This would be a fun response. I'm fat??? Are you sure? OMG do you know when it started? Thank God you were here to tell me, I was just going to keep enjoying my life!

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turdferguson3891@reddit

Because fat Germans don't exist? Been there. They do.

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saltporksuit@reddit

Australians too. You’d think from how they talk on the internet that’s it’s a whole utopia of perfect bodies and perfect food. They have their share of lard carts. I’ve seen ‘em.

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i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn@reddit

I had a French exchange student who said that all Americans are fat. He was a doughy mess and much heavier than everyone in our family except a parent. There were 10 of us.

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This is going to come off as awfully ignorant and I'll preclude my thought as not particularly informed, but anecdotally it seems that almost every time I'm around a German person (sometimes they're a tourist in a line, I actually know a few Germans living here or German-Americans, maybe back at school as exchange students, at park or festival...), they're almost always talking critically about something.

It happened yesterday. I was at a somewhat touristy bakery in Norcal out in the countryside that I live nearby just trying to get a loaf of bread and a scone, the German person behind me struck up a conversation with another couple - all they could say was how schtuupid it was that people come to this famous bakery and just get a cup of coffee, like they don't know what they're missing out on. All I could think is, 'Why does it seem like Germans have to find something to criticize every time they're looking to make some common ground?'

Again, anecdotal and I can only imagine this of course isn't true for all Germans - but is it a real thing?

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televoid1@reddit

Germans have always had their Herrenrasse mentality. Last year on the NYC subway I heard a German loudly declaring to someone how much better Germany was than his NY lifestyle….listing his salary, two cars, big house, and other accoutrements as superior to his current US life. And every German behaves that way towards the US and other Western hemisphere countries. I was in Brazil and tried chatting up two Germans. They just wanted to complain about the shoddy concrete construction in the country. I could go on.

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FortunatelyAsleep@reddit

Thats just a nonsensical assumption. Germans constantly complain about Germany as well. It's more that complaining is seen as honest and therefor polite conversation.

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Relevant_Elevator190@reddit

Here is a small thing you can say to the,, "Sie Ruhig".

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FireFoxTrashPanda@reddit

Is this basically polite German for shut up?

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Relevant_Elevator190@reddit

Depending on the tone, it is either Be Quiet or Shut Up.

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FireFoxTrashPanda@reddit

Ahh copy that! I took a few semesters of German but never quite grasped all of the contextual uses of Sie.

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Relevant_Elevator190@reddit

What German I learned there was all street German.

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Antiochia@reddit

There is a german comedy team, that made a scetch in which the hotel receptionist admits that they cause minor issues on purpose ("Welcome" chocolate one day overdue, little typing error in the german Menü card, the janitor prepping a clean band aid in the pool area, ...) so the german tourists find something to complain about.

Otherwise they would get more and more agitated by, while trying to find something to complain about, that their holidays would be ruined.

Found it: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dLeABUpxhWI&pp=ygUXU2tldGNoIGhvdGVsIFJlemVwdGlvbiA%3D

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Infinite_Crow_3706@reddit

They do enjoy criticism of others

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xDarkNightOfTheSoulx@reddit

It’s their favourite pastime

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AtomSmasherrr@reddit

I believe they enjoy criticism in general xD

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turdferguson3891@reddit

Schadenfreude

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Mother_Marzipan5846@reddit

my personal favorite is when they act surprised that POCs are Americans too. I’m native Chinese but one of my best friends is Chinese American. When we visited Germany together, she was told multiple times that her “English was so good” and when she told them that she was born and raised Californian, they hit her with the classic “But where are you REALLY from?”

European racism is unhinged (how they talk about the Romani, Moroccans, Algerians, etc.) and the most ironic part is that they either completely lack self-awareness or fully believe that they are too superior to be wrong. It was certainly a very eye opening trip for me.

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Particular_Bet_5466@reddit

My German coworker told me he felt extremely pressured in Germany to lose weight, so he did. Then when he finally visited America he told me how he noticed people just walk are fat and shameless and don’t really get shit for it.

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Mayor_of_BBQ@reddit

Colorado and California are the fittest states supposedly

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srslybr0@reddit

went from ohio to california for a business trip. californians on average were much thinner. i assume being in consistently great weather and having liberal leanings helps.

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Particular_Bet_5466@reddit

Colorado is always ranked pretty fit, VT, MA, UT, WA always score well too. I mean I moved here for access to outdoors activities and I think many others did too.

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Discount_Plumber@reddit

Kind of like my wife's grandpa who is from Amsterdam. He may have left the Netherlands, but the Dutch directness never left him.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

LOL I get the same vibe from the British. Except the British will try to make a subtle joke about it and assume you don't understand it.

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shelwood46@reddit

I just read the Marlow Mystery (UK) book they are using for S3 and like a good third of it is the characters mentally ranting about this one suspect being super fat, how he eats poorly, how he is out of shape, just on and on and on (with the twist being he's secretly thin and the murderer) and I kept thinking, oh this is going to go over super well on American tv.

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kjb76@reddit

I’m from Dominican Republic and we see LOTS of fat Brits at our resorts. They’re not the classy type either.

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Mallthus2@reddit

Which is, perhaps, why I love Germans so much. I know right away whether we’ve got common ground.

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BlaggartDiggletyDonk@reddit

The German tourists seem to be getting tubbier every summer, from what I've seen. They're catching up!

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Vesper2000@reddit

The German stereotype has always been that they're fat, and rude. I think they like to believe otherwise.

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SamizdatGuy@reddit

This guy Germans

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Mite-o-Dan@reddit

100% different if on vacation on not. I've met a lot of cool random Germans on beaches or in bars in places across Europe...but when I worked in Europe, that friendliness and hospitality was completely different.

Americans being overly open and chatty is just our thing. Its a true stereotype compared to the rest of the world. Similar to those from Australia. Louder and more social compared to most.

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HerrDrAngst@reddit

I think people on holiday are a self selected group, either prone to be or used to being more outgoing than their counterparts at home. I mean imagine being somewhat insular and going on holiday to Brazil. If they don't learn to loosen up, smile at strangers if they greet them, they're either going to be miserable or those that they interact with will be miserable

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lisagd625@reddit

Or it could be that those are the ones who are chatty enough for you to be aware of. I'm an introvert, plus when I travel, I do what I can to dispel the "loud, rude American" stereotype, so I'm not going to stand out as much. (I've only ever been to Europe, so I might be a little more outgoing in a place like Brazil.)

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Americans can be pretty cold, as well. Just go to any big city on a weekday and watch how nobody gives a damn about anyone else.

I guess the difference is we're still nice to neighbors, strangers while running errands, people we meet on vacation, etc. Just don't mess with our morning commute.

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Sparklespanx@reddit

In my experience, the UK and the US are similar in this. The bigger the city, the colder the vibes. I live close to LA and while it’s a bit friendlier than London, it’s not by much. But the smaller cities I’ve visited, like Bristol, Bath, and Cardiff, I had people chatting me up constantly. It made for a very pleasant trip for this social American. It felt a lot like being in my small hometown back in Florida.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I used to work in downtown DC and if you are a tourist asking for directions, good luck. That person you just asked probably just finished an hour commute on a hot train and is ready to snap.

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lisagd625@reddit

And don't stand to the left on the Metro escalators!

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Those people are the worst!

And for some reason, tourists from Japan always want to take pictures in front of the Metro turnstiles. Like giant groups of them. Standing in front of the turnstiles. During rush hour.

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oliviashrewtonbong@reddit

London is not at all like the rest of the UK yet it's the only place most tourists have been to.

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Sparklespanx@reddit

Truth! And I get why, but now that I’ve been to a handful of UK cities outside of it, idk if I could go back. I found the smaller cities to be so much more enriching!

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TheyMakeMeWearPants@reddit

Just go to any big city on a weekday and watch how nobody gives a damn about anyone else.

It's more they're not interested in you. But the classic example I like to give is a woman with a baby stroller at the bottom of a staircase. If she's by herself, random people will pick that thing up, get it to the top, and then go about their day like nothing happened. Might chat a bit while moving it, but after that it's all done. The default social assumption is that everybody wants to get where they need to be, so I'm not going to fuck with that by trying to chat you up. That woman can't get where she's going without help, so help arrives.

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Ithinkibrokethis@reddit

Don't forget leaning on things! We are champion leaners.

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SunsetGrind@reddit

Chatting up isn't the problem, it's getting past acquaintance level and into more friend level that is challenging.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Yeah, but who is looking for life long friends while only visiting?

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Florginian@reddit

I noticed that while German culture is very isolating, many Germans are extroverted and love to chat. Those Germans tend to travel more and exercise their extroverted skills on more talkative cultures, like here in America.

100% just what I noticed, might be completely off base here.

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LSATMaven@reddit

I always found Germans to be perfectly nice the couple times I lived there, but making friends was through school/work/activities, and not just on the street. Of course, I don't make friends on the street in the US either, so I didn't really notice a big difference.

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Florginian@reddit

You can be both nice and rude, it's weird.

Its like asking a german for directions, they will look at you like a deer in the headlights, and give you very short and direct responses. This is America would be seen as rude, and unfriendly. In Germany this is just how they speak.

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Darkdragoon324@reddit

Yeah, Americans may be more chatty toward strangers, but most of those strangers aren’t going to really become friends.

It’s still quite hard making new friends as an adult without school forcing people in close proximity for a long time.

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thetoerubber@reddit

I agree with this. Chatty isn’t the same as friends. Saying “we should hang out sometime” to a stranger and then not following up is pretty common in the US. I also lived in France. It’s harder to break through the outer shell, but once you do, they are very loyal friends. To this day, they are the only ones that check in on me regularly and I moved away from France years ago.

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LSATMaven@reddit

Exactly. I'm super chatty-- I can talk to anyone. But that's not how I make my friends. My friends come from my hobbies, mostly.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I couldn't imagine being an extrovert and living in a culture that doesn't value that.

It's the opposite of Reddit, where so many people are introverts and are repulsed at the slightest human interaction.

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Florginian@reddit

I have heard that a lot from German immigrants to the US, I think it's one of the reasons many move here.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Meanwhile, the German-American neighbors I've had over the years are terrible. Small sample size, though.

My last one basically got blackballed out of the neighborhood because everybody realized that she talks bad about literally all of her neighbors.

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Florginian@reddit

Interesting I also heard gossip is much more common in Germany too, 😂. Ofc what I hear is Germany are more rude upfront while Americans keep it behind closed doors.

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sadthrow104@reddit

I have heard that Germans will eagerly lecture their neighbor who put a water bottle in the wrong bin

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Florginian@reddit

That's their version of love

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xDarkNightOfTheSoulx@reddit

They will also lecture you when you put a dirty greasy pizza box in Restmüll where it belongs. They will go on and on until give up and put it in the paper bin where it doesn’t belong and will contaminate the paper that could be recycled.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Yeah, Southern hospitality and Midwest Nice are all a front. I'd rather you just hate me openly.

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Euphoric_Ease4554@reddit

Well bless your heart!🤣

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JeddakofThark@reddit

People from pretty nearly every culture believe that their own is generally better than all the others, but most us, most of the time, mostly keep that to ourselves when traveling.

But for Germans, the assumption appears to be that we all know we are doing everything wrong and are simply flailing around, waiting for a German to arrive and explain the proper way of doing things. The German way.

So in addition to broader opportunities to socialize, leaving Deutschland affords them the chance to demonstrate to people everywhere that they have been doing everything wrong their entire lives.

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sadthrow104@reddit

Stay at home people who do nothing but be angry at outside world

Players who have gotten action, have partner kids because of said action

Somedays feels like no in between 🤭

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I WFH full time and it's made me more outgoing. I miss talking to people outside of conference calls.

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Yankee831@reddit

The extroverted ones moved here and helped us get to the moon.

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philsfly22@reddit

I made friends with a Swedish person while on vacation.

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dondurmalikazandibi@reddit

Hi, a guy living in Germany for 10 years here. Germans are hobby and outgoing people in sense that they will have 20 hobbies and do a lot of things, but they will do all alone or with same 2 friends they know for 20 years.

I am a social dancer since 20 years, joining classes, courses, events. Every other country, I made tons of friends that way. In Germany, literally 0. They come they dance they go home. 0 social ability or interest. It is mind boggling. They say hi, dance, they say bye and go home.

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edcRachel@reddit

Seconded, I make SO many friends every time I go out in Germany.

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Dr-Gooseman@reddit

Same. I can go out to pubs in Germany and make random friends every time and have the time of my life

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botulizard@reddit

The thing that strikes me as really funny and interesting is the comparison stereotypes of different nationalities in the old country against those of the places they settled in the US.

People from Germanic cultures are supposed to be cold and unfriendly and maybe even straight-up rude, and then you have "Midwest Nice". Meanwhile Italians and Irish people are supposed to be gregarious and hospitable, but just go ahead and ask on here what Americans think of their countrymen in Boston and New York in that regard (or indeed how Bostonians and New Yorkers view themselves).

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Yeah, that is an interesting observation. Maybe that's why they left the old country, LOL.

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jfchops3@reddit

Maybe it's just the Germans on vacation

This has a lot to do with it, people in a carefree mood just worried about enjoying themselves are like universally more outgoing than people living their normal lives handling responsibilities

Americans probably don't want to get stopped on the street to give directions and explain the McDonald's menu to foreign tourists while walking home from work, so it's not really fair to claim Germans or whoever are unfriendly when they don't care to do it for us in their cities

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comrade_zerox@reddit

Sampling bias. Those are people who have chosen to go outside their typical social/cultural/geographic setting, and as such are more prepared/willing to be (at least temporarily) extroverts. Its kind of a consent thing.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

Maybe it's just the Germans on vacation.

Yeah, that's kind of what I figured.

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mothramydear@reddit

I went on a choir trip to Germany in high school and ended up fainting my way through most of it because of what turned out to be undiagnosed POTS. So many people stopped to ask if I was okay. My favorite person was the lady who spoke to my classmate in very animated German for several minutes. His translation was: “she said that you have the travelers sickness and you must be sure to rest, eat, and drink plenty of water. Then she started talking about the giant soccer ball in the city square for the World Cup.”

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huazzy@reddit

What was the age range of these Germans abroad?

Because I kind of see where you're coming from. I was in Malaga and had random Germans come and want to talk to me in German.

Thing is they were all in their 60's+

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

They were probably middle age at the time.

I've never had a young German talk to me while travelling. I'm in my 40s, so at this point, young people aren't talking to me, anyway.

When I was around 35 I was at a pub in Dublin by myself. A younger guy from Poland was the only person who I could get talking. Irish people weren't having it at all.

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HugoTRB@reddit

Me and my friend managed to start talking with the regulars in a Dublin pub. We however went to that one multiple times and the free snus/zyn my friend gave out helped (it wasn’t popular outside Sweden yet then).

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

LOL yeah, people get friendlier when you give them free stuff.

I was on a European cruise with some friends. Normally, my wife and I try to blend in and not be the typical, obnoxious American tourists. But this time, we were all drinking heavily and probably being too loud.

There was a French family next to us at dinner every night. They always looked miserable, even when we weren't being loud. They wouldn't even talk to each other. We sent them a bottle of nice champagne and all of a sudden they were all smiles.

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thepizzagod195@reddit

Lol really? I find alot of the Irish to be the most chatty people on Earth. Especially dubliners. I was in Galway and I got socially exhausted by how many wanted to randomly chat. Very friendly down to earth people. I also talked to two random Germans but I started the conversation lol

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I went in 2018. My wife had a conference there that lasted until about 9pm every night. So I was pretty much on my own all week. So I spent my days sightseeing and spent my evenings in pubs. The touristy pubs were way too busy for me and the local pubs were full of regulars that don't have any time for new conversation, it seemed. I was kind of surprised by it. I can usually get anyone talking.

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thepizzagod195@reddit

That i understand the local pubs tend to be less friendly. Felt that way in Donegal a bit. Not to far off from any local dive in the US too though tbh lol

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Hellooooooo_NURSE@reddit

Yes my experience in Europe was that Germans seemed to be the only ones to strike up a conversation with us in the pubs

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WarmLeg7560@reddit

I lived in Germany for all my life, trust me, Germans are everything but outgoing 😂😂

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I get the stereotype. That's why I've always thought it was weird that I've met so many friendly Germans while on vacation.

Some of my worst neighbors have been German-Americans. Small sample size, however.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one because they are efficient and lack humor.

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lachiek_@reddit

I am from Australia and was in Dortmund for like a day and a half, and we had three different Germans start randomly talking to us. It was awesome, but it also surprised me because I had heard that Germans were quite reserved. Maybe it had to do with us being in a smaller city?

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rewt127@reddit

I hardly ever had random Germans talk to me, while it happens all the time in America

Huh. Tbh I have had random people talk to me in the US like 10 times. Like total. Its so rare that it catches me off guard. I still vividly remember someone starting a conversation with me while I was at a restaurant in the bar section 2 years ago. Because it's that rare.

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Comfortable-Net8913@reddit

You are absolutely right. Americans like to give them impression that Americans are so friendly and talkative. It’s not that usual for people to just start talking to you randomly. Maybe in certain parts of the US but certainly not in large cities. My guess is what outsiders are referring to as Americans being friendly is the Customer Service tendency in our society to speak to people as a way of getting them to patronize you.

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AndrasKrigare@reddit

For me, it's not a daily thing, but it happens at least a few times a year; often enough that it's not a shocking event.

Maybe it depends on where you are when you're out. For me it's typically when there's some shared, slightly boring activity. Grocery line, shoveling, dog park, etc.

Could also be how much you pick up what others are putting down. For instance, if someone asks "do you know where X is?" I just answer the question. But if they ask "do you know where X is? This is my first time at Y" to me that's an invitation to ask "oh nice, what do you think of it?" and have a little conversation.

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Prince_Jellyfish@reddit

I live in LA and people strike up conversations with me all the time. It’s happened at least a few times in the last week, for example. In line at the grocery store, in an elevator, that sort of thing. Usually not a big long conversation but at least a quick back and forth. Happens consistently.

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PsychologicalOne908@reddit

Same experience.
I made friends without even putting in any effort across many of my jobs in the US (Florida to be specific), even had cool dudes who would invite me to fly with them or go fishing or hit the gym.

Meanwhile in the 5 years I've been living in Germany, haven't even gotten anywhere close to these experiences, and it's not due to a lack of trying lol

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USAcustomerservice@reddit

Hell, I had a 5 minute conversation with a stranger at the grocery store yesterday about how the bacon was all too fatty and her hood vent fan was out. I even got some work out of it because I told her I like to fix things. All because we both picked up a couple packs trying to get one that wasn’t so fatty. I love talking to strangers like that.

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imzadi111@reddit

We lived in a village in Germany, not a big city, so our experience may have been different. It took a while to crack their shell. My husband becoming part of the village's musikverein helped. It took a bit though of him showing up every week before people warmed to him and accepted us.

We would go back to live in "our village" in Germany in a heartbeat. The sense of community and lifelong friends made it one of the happiest times in our life!!!

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vargemp@reddit

We just don't want to know people around. I'm not necessarily German, bit more east, but for example, my mother doesn't even know the neighbours across the street she lives 20+ years on.

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SunsetGrind@reddit

Even if you do find those that are willing to talk to you, getting past acquaintance and into friendship territory is another massive challenge

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Akamaikai@reddit

Random Germans talk to you in America?

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rmvandink@reddit

Is random people talking to you the same as making friends?

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Lugbor@reddit

You're not as likely to make friends if nobody's talking to you, so there's some correlation there.

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dromtrund@reddit

Randomly talking to strangers just isn't a common way to make friends here though.

It's not like Germans don't have any friends, they just have a different way of meeting new friends, and Americans don't realize that they're doing it wrong

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Lugbor@reddit

Not every conversation sparks a friendship, but most friendships start by talking. If everyone keeps to themselves, you're less likely to find someone you get along with.

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dromtrund@reddit

Sure, but the context and environment the conversation starts in that matters. In many cultures, you absolutely need an established shared context to be able to start conversations that lead to friendship. Norwegians, for instance, will (generally) only become friends with people they meet through clubs, work, school and communities, and will actively get weirded out by people that try talking to them outside of these contexts.

A common framing of the cultural differences between Europe and the US is that if you enter an elevator in the US, it's considered polite to acknowledge the people already on it with a short "how do you do", while in mainland and northern Europe, the polite thing to do is to leave people alone.

It's a generalization, but it's a big part of why Americans keep thinking Europeans are hard to befriend.

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Comfortable-Net8913@reddit

You don’t make friends in America by talking to random people. It’s not our culture. Most friends are made in school, workplace or shared activities. It isn’t that easy to make friends in the US either especially for a foreigner. It’s why most foreigners never integrate.

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BuildNuyTheUrbanGuy@reddit

Shared activities can also be random. Like a stranger at a car meet, skatepark, campground, etc.

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BlaggartDiggletyDonk@reddit

Every once in a while, yes. But most of the time, no.

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gummibearhawk@reddit

Can't make friends without talking to people

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NetFu@reddit

It honestly depends on the region you're in in America. I grew up in the Midwest in a region where more than half the people were German, and everyone was always like you describe it is in Germany.

I moved to California 36 years ago and have always had people randomly talking to me everywhere. I had a random woman walk up to me in a grocery store, feel my beard with her whole hand, and say "Oooooh!"

Now that's friendly. Of course, that was pre-pandemic.

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molten_dragon@reddit

I actually found Germans to be very friendly when I was there. But both my trips were for business purposes so I had pre-existing relationships with a lot of the people I was meeting.

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gummibearhawk@reddit

The pre existing relationship thing helps a lot. In my time living there the Germans weren't rude or unfriendly, but nor were they friendly. I'd even go to the same store for years and get treated like a new customer every time..

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CSmith489@reddit

Weird, I’ve never had a random German talk to me in America!

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Chimney-Imp@reddit

Go to the Midwest. All the talkative Germans moved there

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Thin-Quiet-2283@reddit

True, that rarely happens. Usually you meet through networking/friend of friends. But I did have random German chat with me at the beer garden in the English Garden in Munich as we shared a table at lunch .

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EADASOL@reddit

Most of us Australians will talk to anyone without a second thought.

Being polite off the bat is always a good start.

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Material-Wallaby-587@reddit

Europeans excluding the UK and Ireland never learnt how to be polite.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

Australians are basically indistinguishable from the US in this respect.

Interesting fact: it's the only country where more Americans move there than Australians move here. Every other country on earth is a net mover to the US

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adudeguyman@reddit

Australia is on my list of countries to move to to get away from what the US is becoming.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

you'll find there is no magic, humans are human. And Australia suffers from many similar issues. You could achieve much the same thing by moving to California

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ManufacturerDull4689@reddit

My experience with the Australians is they can either be the most chill, charismatic, friendliest people on the planet or the biggest racist, closed minded dickheads, with little in between.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

not unfair. I have to say my experience with Aussies is mostly quite good

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Due-Shame6249@reddit

To be fair, after 45 or so years in America, this describes us perfectly as well.

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esotericbatinthevine@reddit

Eh, I know too many closet close minded bigoted Americans who are charismatic and seem to genuinely care, until you get to know them really well and they let something slip out. But maybe that's just life in the south

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daltonmojica@reddit

Not my experience as a Southeast Asian uni student. All my friends are internationals. Aussies, white Aussies especially, don't seem to like it when we enter their circles.

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MyDogOper8sBetrThanU@reddit

I’ve never met an Australian I didn’t immediately get along with like we were life long friends. Great people

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1MrE@reddit

I was there 25 years ago. Was on a tour. Hit several countries. Best time was in Fremantle/Perth. I pulled out a small map (pre gps affordable cell phones) and 4 different people stopped to ask if I was good. One showed me around for awhile casually chatting about life in the US and Australia. Grabbed a cab to get some lunch, there were 3 of us now, can’t remember when we picked up the third but she was awesome. Cabby was out of his car when we approached, other tw

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favorscore@reddit

I'm an American who recently visited Australia and was taken aback by how much random strangers wanted to talk to me. Like a receptionist will make a point to say hi and find out my name while introducing themself. In many ways I feel like Australians are more talkative/outgoing than Americans are, and just as loud!

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Significant_Art1785@reddit

I feel like Australians are, in general, warm and chatty. I met an Australian man at an international sporting event last year and within minuets we could exchange friendly banter and playful insults and were on the same wavelength. I think, in general, both cultures don't like to take themselves too seriously.

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Material-Wallaby-587@reddit

It's definetly easier to make friends in Australia than Europe.

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huazzy@reddit

American in Switzerland for over a decade here.

Yes, it's 1000% true. And we're not even talking about being close friends but something like being on friendly terms (say with a neighbor).

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kurotoes@reddit

Also American in Switzerland. It’s always a pleasant surprise when I’m visiting home and strangers just strike up a quick convo in a grocery line or whatever. I miss the little comments and shared expressions so much. That only happens here when I run into another American!

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BlackJackSackIcePack@reddit

It's so funny reading about how much Americans love chatting with strangers, meanwhile my British friends were saying how much they've struggled having to make small talk so much when they lived out there lol

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Olderpostie@reddit

I have lived in the States and Canada. That day to day exchange among strangers is common in Canada too.

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dan_blather@reddit

Americans and Canadians are far more alike than different, despite what I see on The National.

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Grumpy949@reddit

Why did you move to Switzerland? Why are you still there? Job? Diplomat? Marriage?

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huazzy@reddit

Job

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Grumpy949@reddit

That’s quite a long stay. I hope you’re taking advantage of how close (compared to the US) you are to so many historical sights.

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huazzy@reddit

Example:

Asked a former neighbor if they could water my plants/check my mail once a week while I was away. He reacted like I asked him to donate an organ, and suggested I hire someone that can do this for me instead.

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Internal_Chef_1240@reddit

Don’t feel bad. It’s not personal. Swiss are a different breed. They do that to everyone without discrimination. I haven’t met a neighbour in 3 years. They hear my door opening they run away hiding :))

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NoMSaboutit@reddit

I am curious how they make friends at all or do they just remain friends with people they grew up with?

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SurveyPatient6835@reddit

In Germany, "Vereine" (Clubs) like sports clubs or anything that intrest you. Many comunitys have thinks like the volunteer firefighter, shooting clubs or carnival association. This is where you meet the locals and get friends.

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Internal_Chef_1240@reddit

Friendships are formed early from what I’ve heard. I am assuming they’re cautious because Switzerland is a country where people constantly move to pursuit job opportunities and it’s probably not worth making an effort to befriend someone who is going to eventually leave?

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brinns_way@reddit

American here. Oh wow. That's too bad. I feel lucky I have neighbors who happily help with this stuff.

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Killahdanks1@reddit

I ran my snowblower over three of my neighbors driveways after the snow plow came by yesterday. Nobody asked, but they would have had to shovel wet heavy snow and it took me minutes.

We help our neighbors. We show up for our people.

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HeyPurityItsMeAgain@reddit

My neighbor plows by my driveway and I make him cinnamon rolls.

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factory-worker@reddit

Fair trade

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kreativegaming@reddit

This is reddit so when I saw how your sentence started I swore you were gonna say my neighbour plows my driveway and my wife....

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rethinkingat59@reddit

I have snowblown my whole neighborhood for years.

Of course in South Texas it’s really easy.

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saltporksuit@reddit

In South Texas the equivalent is rolling out the smoker and handing out barbacoa to your neighbors.

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cannikin13@reddit

It’s not always roses…I’m a land surveyor and the worst jobs are defining a property line between two warring neighbors… it’s very important your neighbors are your friends.

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secrectsea@reddit

Don’t forget the big red

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GoldenGoof19@reddit

😂😂😂

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FLOHTX@reddit

My neighbor plows my wife, and she makes him cinnamon rolls. We give everything around these parts.

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blondechick80@reddit

👀

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Daddysheremyluv@reddit

Cinnamon roles for snow plowing, pulling into the Boss dealership now

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MMAGG83@reddit

Great example. I got snowed in yesterday at my apartment in SE Wisconsin. I was the same not one there with a snow shovel and kitty litter in my car. Since it was my day off I was basically on-call to help my neighbors get out of the parking lot.

So far I’ve gotten two six packs and a baggie of homemade peanut brittle.

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Killahdanks1@reddit

and a million thanks you’ll never hear. Good job!

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the-hound-abides@reddit

Me and my 3 neighbors take turns shoveling/snowblowing our neighbor’s driveway. She’s never asked us. We just do it. Her husband used to do it, but he died last year unexpectedly. The first day it snowed afterward she went outside and just looked lost. I sent my then 15 year old over, and to tell her that he needed volunteer hours for school so she didn’t feel bad. We’ve taken turns ever since.

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lisagd625@reddit

That's wonderful!

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Affectionate-Use6412@reddit

On my street, not plowing your neighbors sidewalk is the ultimate insult. You can exactly who doesn't like who just by the sidewalk. In fact, we got a new scumbag neighbor this year who didn't shovel once. But I waited to blow him in to the Town because my good neighbors were on vacation and I didn't want them to also get in trouble

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Killahdanks1@reddit

Fantastic.

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InternalNo7162@reddit

Our retired neighbour comes over with his snowblower after every snowfall and removes the wall of snow the plow truck leaves behind. If it has snowed a lot when we’re not home he also clears the entire front yard AND a wide path around the garage to the back of the house and clears out snow around our kids swing-set.

We’ve never asked him to do this but we do buy him a small bag of beer every now and again as thanks.

(I live in northern sweden btw)

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Killahdanks1@reddit

Here’s to good neighbors!

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einTier@reddit

I have a bladed edger for the sidewalks and driveway. None of the neighbors do. When I do the edging, I take care of the neighbors on either side and the guys across the street. Takes me like 20 minutes to do it all with no real effort and it's a real pain to even attempt with a string trimmer. I barely even think about it, I'm already doing my own.

They help out in other ways. I can't imagine not doing little things like this.

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Killahdanks1@reddit

Yeah, to me things like this are what being a neighbor and good American are all about

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WowsrsBowsrsTrousrs@reddit

We have neighbors who, when we have a pet sitter while we're away, will tell us they'd be happy to do it. (I don't take them up on it, because I like having a pro do it, for many reasons, but it's nice of them to offer.)

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memebeam916@reddit

My entire neighborhood looks out for each other when we go out of town lol. We water lawns and sometimes even leave the keys to others to feed pets etc. All very common in my part of California.

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Cudi_buddy@reddit

Same. Also California. I’ve put garbage cans out. Brought packages in, etc.

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Auro_NG@reddit

For real, that's like basic neighborly stuff. I do that for the neighbor I don't even like that much.

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huazzy@reddit

Where you at?

My new neighbors now do. But they're Canadian and not Swiss.

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brinns_way@reddit

Massachusetts/New Hampshire

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huazzy@reddit

Ah ok. Thought you also lived abroad.

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CarloSpicyWeinerr@reddit

my neighbors come thru for us when we go on vacation every time. your former neighbor was just a shitty neighbor.

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AllAreStarStuff@reddit

That’s so wild. Our neighbor two doors down watches our cats when we are out of town (her young daughter is excited to do it) and we bring back souvenirs for their kids. We are constantly trading food and tv/movie recommendations. Our next-door neighbor and my husband shared a grudge until I brought him some homemade jelly and pickles. Now they share greetings, tools, and contractor recommendations.

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ac_cossack@reddit

I just water my neighbor's plants on my lunch break if it's hot out. What a dick neighbor.

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FuckIPLaw@reddit

Careful with that. Presumably you know what you're doing and you're watering plants that are obviously stressed because the heat dried them out, but there's a lot of plants that are easy to over-water. My dad's always surprised by how well my herbs do and it's because most of them are native to the Mediterranean and expect dry summers, and I water my plants manually (read: they're more likely to die because I forgot to water them than because I watered too much) while he has irrigation set up to run daily. It works for most of his plants but it keeps his herbs from really thriving.

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4LOLz4Me@reddit

Hey- thanks for this tip on herb growing!

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ac_cossack@reddit

I was very worried about over watering. I asked the neighbor and they appreciated it and just said give them water if they look dry. The alternating snow and heat killed them anyways.

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GratefulTrails@reddit

As a southernern american who now lives in Alaska, this blows my mind. I cant imagine not being friends or just cordial with my neighbor.

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vvmilkyway@reddit

If you’re not close, I think it’s fair? Why should they do that? I would never even think to ask a neighbor….

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ChronicLegHole@reddit

I visited a family member in CH and I was floored at how robotic and cold his work colleagues were to him.

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LeafyWolf@reddit

American here, and if a neighbor or co-worker asked me to do those things I would absolutely think they had gone mad. Wtf, you can hire someone! Don't put your responsibilities on me--I don't know you like that. Hell, I don't know the name of a single one of my neighbors, and we've been in the house for 9 years.

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Epic_Brunch@reddit

You're the neighbor all the other neighbors gossip about.

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Babelwasaninsidejob@reddit

The rest of your neighbors know and help each other but tell their kids not to take candy from you.

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eirissazun@reddit

Huh. German here, and my neighbours and I definitely help each other out with stuff. We're not mad, just all living here in this house and thinking that small stuff like watering plants, looking for mail, accepting packages or keeping each other's emergency keys are nice and helpful in the small community that is our house. German has a word - Hausgemeinschaft - that means exactly this: "house community".

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GodsLittleAlien@reddit

This is a prime example of how it pays to be outgoing in your community. How can you not know the names of your neighbors after 9 years?! Being polite and courteous will come back to help you. Why would I hire someone to water my plants and check my mail, when I could just ask ol' Mrs.Clarence down the block (whom ive helped out numerous times and have made cookies for)?

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Littleboypurple@reddit

That's kinda sad. Like I'm not saying you should consider your neighbors as your ride or die BFFs but, almost a decade and you don't even know a name? That's kinda sad

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hobocat76@reddit

You don't know a single neighbor after living there for 9 years? That's kind of insane lol

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windseclib@reddit

I haven’t even seen my neighbors and I’ve lived in the same place for 5 years. We just don’t go out or come home at the same time. I’m not sure how I’d know their names unless I rang their doorbell and introduced myself.

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Nohandsmc@reddit

‘American here’

‘They gad gone mad’

Now which one is the German three again?

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

It seems like you are taking pride in being a standoffish asshole neighbor.

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pudding7@reddit

That is super weird.

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boomzgoesthedynamite@reddit

Yikes, you are not the norm.

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scenesfromsouthphl@reddit

Not knowing a single neighbor after 9 years would be considered very strange even in the traditionally “mind your own business” Northeast Corridor cities.

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Cudi_buddy@reddit

Damn. I have a handful of neighbors that I trust to do simple things like feed my cats for a couple days or water my plants. Like it’s no big deal. How rude lol

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redditsuckspokey1@reddit

How long were you away for?

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Sleepy-Blonde@reddit

My neighbor offered.. He mowed my lawn for 2 years and refused compensation when I was gone taking care of my dad after an accident. He also does costco runs for our entire block since it’s an hour away and he drives by it often. He randomly edged up our grass strip along the sidewalk because he saw I was having a tough time with it.. Also brings us cocktails when we’re bbqing. I love him.

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Temporary-Moments@reddit

American here. My Nieghbor and I knew each other for 3 months before we started watching each others pets when either of us went out of town. My other neighbor would hide my packages and I his/hers till we would be home. We lived in apartments. He would also bring my nephews escape dog home, on the days I was watching my nephews pup. Every neighbor on our 4 apartment block had each others number.

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Hopeful_Pizza_2762@reddit

Lol. I used to feed my neighbors cats and get her mail when she was gone. We were not friends but I didnt mind.

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Drivo566@reddit

Meanwhile, I asked my neighbor to do the same for me once... we're now engaged lol.

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movingarchivist@reddit

American also in Switzerland. I agree with you but it's also very location dependent. I came from Seattle, where it's so difficult to make friends that there's a name for it, the "Seattle Freeze." I was fortunate enough in Bern to meet a couple of people who have been so friendly that my introverted self gets overwhelmed at times. 😅 As I understand it, I moved from one of the most reserved parts of the US to one of the friendlier parts of CH.

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not_mig@reddit

Where in the US are you from? I feel like you'd get a similar reaction in a lot of the US nowadays

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gsxr@reddit

Been all over eu for durations between a day and a couple months. It’s not even comparable. The US is wayyy easier to strike up a conversation, or make anything resembling a friend.

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CreditMajestic4248@reddit

Have found though that once a friend for a European, then a friend for life. Withan American, out of sight, out of mind, so more like journey/travel companions, but not a real friendship.

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Healthy_Blueberry_59@reddit

This is true. I lived in CH in my 20s. My friends are all over there. I really have no American friends. I moved back to live somewhere I felt connected but I really have no meaningful connections except to my kids.

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t1dmommy@reddit

I lived in Sweden and yeah they make a couple friends for life and they don't have a need to make more. I would say I have plenty of real friendships in the US, including one from childhood whom I haven't lived near in decades.

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marylander_@reddit

Yes! I did an exchange semester in the UK (not in the EUA anymore I know) and the only friends I really made were other exchange students from various places who also didn't know anyone, and my partner I met on Tinder. And I was getting out and going to clubs and events and participating in class. Meanwhile in the US I started ice skating a week ago, I already have about 10 people's numbers, have been invited to get coffee with a bunch of adult skaters this sunday, and have had somebody new introduce themselves to me on the ice once it was clear I'm trying to learn not just skate once for fun (I have my own boots and am attending lessons where I met a few of the people). I've started a new show based on a rec from a new friend, have been warned to avoid this specific regular because she's a terf, and have been given a referral to a job :)

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Aroracherry@reddit

Brit who’s lived in America, yes it’s easier to make friends in America however I’ve noticed my friendships across Europe are more meaningful and last much longer due to it taking longer and more effort for the friendships to bloom. I remover meeting a random guy in a bar in upstate NY and he literally started crying 5 minutes into the first conversation I’d ever had with him. I remember having to put on this faux ‘oh my gosh, wow, that’s awful, you’re so strong’ rhetoric just to kind of ‘blend in’ after I left USA I never spoke to this man again. So I’d say friendships are more surface level but there are pros and cons to both.

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goatsnboots@reddit

I'm an American who has lived in Ireland for almost seven years, and I also lived in France for three.

The French are very cold and very introverted. As a general rule (from what I saw), once they have their families or their close friends from school, they're completely uninterested in making new friends.

Irish people are quite friendly and outgoing, so it's been easier to find a social circle here. However, they are still a bit closed off in a way that I just don't think the average American is.

I'll give this example because I think it perfectly sums up the mentality: years ago, an acquaintance of mine was complaining about his brother's American girlfriend who came to visit. He said she went out to a bar with him, his brother, and some of their friends and was a bit shy and "acted like we were supposed to talk to her". And I was flabbergasted. Like here's a woman who's not from here, she's going out with an established group of people who clearly made no effort to talk to her, she's righteously miffed about it, and you're judging her for that?

I strongly do not believe that would happen with your average Americans. I was always taught from a young age to include people. Aside from that, we're a naturally curious population. I think if an Irish woman had gone to meet and hang out with her American boyfriend's friends for the first time, they would have been genuinely interested in talking to her.

In Ireland, as the outsider, it is your role to conform to the group. In the US, it's the group's role to include and bring in new people.

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Shreddy_Brewski@reddit

I think if an Irish woman had gone to meet and hang out with her American boyfriend's friends for the first time, they would have been genuinely interested in talking to her.

She would have been MOBBED lmao, everyone in the bar would have wanted to talk to her

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eightcarpileup@reddit

“Hey go get her and see if she’ll say it in the accent!” “I wonder if she knows Gaelic?!” Americans want to see the best someone has to offer. Got a party trick? We want to see. Know some crazy intricate stuff? Lay it on us. I think aside from the push to include, we also have an eye for speciality because we know that something special can get you far.

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FortunatelyAsleep@reddit

I think this is exactly the issue. I don't want to show party tricks. I ain't here for your entertainment. I ain't gonna share crazy intricate stuff, since that is often private. I do not care about what "can get you far". Friends are people I talk to about common interests.

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Severe-Park-6200@reddit

Jeez, you sound fun at parties lmao

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mustachechap@reddit

How do you discover common interests with someone without sharing some stuff about yourself.

I think they are simply saying you will be welcomed with open arms here in the US, but not so much the case in European countries unfortunately.

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FortunatelyAsleep@reddit

I go to places in which these common interests are practiced.

You are welcomed with open arms. That doesn't mean I wanna share everything about me with you. Being welcoming doesn't mean becoming friends.

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mustachechap@reddit

That’s nice when that is an option but sometimes it’s not.

Strongly disagree with you there! I wish I was welcomed with open arms in many European countries, but that simply hasn’t been my experience

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aracauna@reddit

"once they have their families or their close friends from school, they're completely uninterested in making new friends."

I actually liked this about Amsterdam, mainly because I'm also that way. I've never felt lonely in my life. I have people in my life I like and who are comfortable and I really don't enjoy the stress of making new relationships. This is a me thing though. I'm not judging friendly people. I'm just not one.

And there's a limit to this with Americans too. My wife and I lived in my very rural southern hometown for just over a decade. My extended family is great, the cost of living is insanely cheap and it made having kids much cheaper. But my wife also never was able to make real friends because she was always made to feel a little bit like an outsider for having a northern accent and not being a Baptist.

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Chea63@reddit

I think the US historically being a nation of immigrants plays into this. A constant flow of various cultures trying to fit in, and ppl accommodating other ppl trying to fit in creates a more outgoing culture. Also in a very individualistic culture like the US it pays to be be friendly, make connections etc. Allies so to speak. More monolithic countries seem less outwardly friendly, at least at first.

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CoolKidChad@reddit

Do you speak french? Because if not it will definitely create a big barrier and people won’t bother. Once you are fluent things change completely in my experience

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Cazolyn@reddit

I’m Irish, and unless these people were collectively a bunch of pricks, it sounds like this individual expected to be entertained. In a pub setting, most Irish people will have the bants with anyone, once an effort is made. Bring the chat, and the chat will come to you.

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gisele121@reddit

In Ireland, people tend to ask questions to keep things going. In the US, people just offer info about themselves. Could be she just didn’t ask much.

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linds3ybinds3y@reddit

Could be she just didn’t ask much.

Is it normal in Ireland to expect the new person to drive the conversation? Usually in the US the onus would be more on the people who are already part of an established group to try to make sure the new person felt included by asking questions or steering the conversation toward topics the new person could easily join in on.

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mt80@reddit

I used to work at a Paris fintech company and my colleagues there were cold at first but soon legit became besties and still keep in touch today

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Affectionate_Data936@reddit

Yeah my husband lived in France for 4 years playing pro basketball and he still talks to some of the friends he made in France almost 15 years later.

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sphoebus@reddit

Legitimately. I had a French roommate in college (two actually). One of them got married and I never see her even though she lives a town over. She’s very boisterous and outgoing, came from Pyrénées-Atlantique near the border. The other went back to Paris, but he comes back every single summer and stays with us. He already has to go to Quebec for a work conference, so they just let him take his vacation on the back end and he hops over to the US for a week or so. When we’re more stable (I’m working on another degree currently), we plan on visiting him there. Friends for life 👍

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goatsnboots@reddit

I didn't downvote you. I appreciate your different perspective, and I'm glad you had a good experience there. I think part of my negative experience was that I lived in a much smaller city than Paris, and actually, whenever I visited Paris, I found people to be remarkably helpful and friendly (at least to us obvious tourists).

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ofBlufftonTown@reddit

I have to say no to all this, and when I lived in Italy Italian people were easy to make friends with. Maybe every single other country in Europe is different? No, because people in the Balkans were nice to me. Americans can be cold assholes too. I think this is cope from Americans about how friendly they are; we’re superficially friendly. “Here’s some box mix brownies; now let me talk shit about you with the other moms in the park.”

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goatsnboots@reddit

You mentioned moms here, and I wonder if that's part of the issue? I am not a parent, but I have heard that mom culture can be pretty toxic.

I'm not saying that there aren't assholes in the US. There are tons. I'm just saying, from my experience, the average American is nicer than the average Irish person.

I'm glad you are having a great experience in Italy. I do think they are known for being quite a warm culture.

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Sweet_Future@reddit

Yeah people can be pretty exclusionary and not good at bringing people into the conversation in the US too. It's very individual as to how inclusive people are here, I wouldn't say we have a cultural norm on it. But an Irish woman would definitely get a lot of attention.

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goatsnboots@reddit

Yeah, I really didn't mean to make a generalization about every single American. Obviously a lot of Americans can be mean. I certainly left for a reason! I just think your average American is kinder than your average Irish person. That's just been my experience.

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Yankee831@reddit

Idk never been to either place but I’m just gonna say I have biases in me that day Balkans and Eastern Europe are very cousin like to US and we tend to really get along on a personal level. my mom recently came back from traveling to Italy and France and I get the feeling she felt much more welcome in Italy than France. Just my .02 Cents.

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mt80@reddit

You’re being downvoted but you’re not wrong

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EnvironmentalRun4107@reddit

I never been to Europe personally but I’ve met German and polish people and they were the most interesting people I’ve met

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No-Guest6596@reddit

YES BECAUSE EVERYONE SPEAKS ENGLISH IN AMERICA

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Outrageous_Garden586@reddit

This is less a unique thing about the US and more a unique thing about Europe in my experience. Europeans are especially closed off socially but there are obviously exceptions.

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bi_polar2bear@reddit

It's much easier to talk to people in the US than the 28 other countries I've been to. I lived in Japan, and they kept to themselves if their English wasn't great. In Europe, I felt like they treated us like we had the plague. France was openly acting like assholes and being overly rude to us.

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Neither_Internal_261@reddit

We had French exchange students at our house back in the day and our families are still friends. The whole family ended up coming out and stayed with my parents when they visited the US. Never been there but I've always heard that they are assholes. Met a French dude in Ireland and he was pretty chill. From what I have heard, it's better in the more rural parts of France (like where the family I know is from) than the big cities. Does that sound accurate to you? You probably know better than I do.

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TeacherOfFew@reddit

Rural France is far different from Paris.

But we shouldn't take it personally; Parisians are assholes to each other, too. Kinda like a regional sport.

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BounceOnItCrazyStyle@reddit

It's always weird France with Paris gets singled out as if most countries don't have that big city or cities that are notorious for assholes while the rest of the countries chill.

Like you're last sentence could be said about NYC and it would fit.

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TaliFrost@reddit

I'm from New England and that last sentence could honestly apply to much of the region.

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Affectionate_Data936@reddit

Eh I think that narrative about NYC is more coming out of NYC in the 70's/80's when it was much more crime ridden and dangerous. People aren't that unfriendly in NYC in my experience. Miami, however, is much less friendly than anywhere else in the US I have been.

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Danyanks37@reddit

I’m from NY and I tell friends going to Paris that Parisians and NYers are very similar in attitude. They’re not rude, not particularly nice, and usually will help you if need be (in my experience at least!)

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TeacherOfFew@reddit

Yep. Though I haven't run into that in Australia. Austria, yes.

And France (Paris) is an easy target since they seem to enjoy the stereotype.

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dirENgreyscale@reddit

It really depends on the area and the person. There’s a perception that French people hate Americans but IME it’s more that they don’t like non-French people. I spent a majority of my time in France with a Swedish guy who spoke zero French and never tried and he had a lot more issues than I did. I knew enough French that I rarely had to switch to English but the only two shitty encounters I had were both times I reached my French limit and had to switch to English lol.

He had a number of unpleasant interactions and he couldn’t believe how many people didn’t speak English. “It’s the language of traveling” (might be paraphrasing slightly) is what he kept saying.

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B3stThereEverWas@reddit

As a non American (and a Non frenchman) who lived in France, let me tell you, even the French fucking hate the French 😂

French are generally cool when you get to know them but can be very very cold in initial contact

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dirENgreyscale@reddit

What’s funny was that all the guys at the middle eastern restaurant were actually middle eastern but had clearly adapted to the French life quite well. Fucked had me standing there for nearly an hour. I went there 3-4 more times (it was delicious and directly across the street from the hostel and I have pretty thick skin so fuck it lol) and he was super nice every time after that first encounter and had my food ready in 10 minutes or less. I coincidentally was able to stick to French all those times and he was very cool lmao.

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zeptillian@reddit

The only asshole I encountered in Paris was a crazy homeless person yelling at me on the street for no reason.

Everyone else was just as friendly and nice as the people I interact with in any major US city.

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jseego@reddit

Never been to Paris, but people I met in Normandy and Bordeaux were lovely.

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Neither_Internal_261@reddit

I'm sure the majority of them are chill. Just like people anywhere really. Glad you have good memories!

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RupeThereItIs@reddit

Parisians are ass holes.

Not the French as a whole.

It's like assuming midwesterners are gonna act like New Yorkers.

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mitshoo@reddit

I took a trip to France as a kid once and Paris felt a bit cold and impersonal, but in Versailles the very energy in the air was different. Much more relaxed. I think big cities are just cortisol-inducing in every country.

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weealex@reddit

I've had good luck with French folks in Southern France. I have to assume it's a combination of the vineyards and the presence of the sea

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West-Design-9809@reddit

Rural France is very friendly. Nice folks generally! City France, especially fancy Paris arrondissement folks, can get hoity toity. People from Paris suburbs or who aren’t flashy looking or are working normal jobs are more likely to be nice as well. Key is just like you have to approach in the language people look like they speak in the US, assume French people speak French and speak respectfully to them in French. That’s literally all you have to do. English doesn’t work in France, in the same way that expecting a clerk in a grocery store in the US to know French would not work if they know English and maybe a little high school Spanish.

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MattieShoes@reddit

Not parent poster, but from my experience, Parisians near touristy areas live up to the negative stereotype. As far as I can tell, the rest of the country is pretty chill. But I wasn't really trying to make friends either, just normal stranger type interactions.

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bi_polar2bear@reddit

We were in Marseille and went to the mountains for a ski trip, so we didn't interact much with rural people. I've been twice, and got the exact same experience both times. I know the US and France were linked together since the US became a country, but between 1948 and now, they've become horrible towards the US as a whole, and not worth support.

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Neither_Internal_261@reddit

yeah wild that they literally are our oldest allies yet we have these bad interpersonal relations. Thanks for the info.

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ND7020@reddit

By a series of life coincidences, I have known a TON of French people.

I always say that the average American thinks they’ll get along well with the English and totally at odds with the French, and it ends up being the exact opposite. The French are a say what you mean, not at all passive-aggressive culture, and that generally works pretty well here.

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sadthrow104@reddit

I will say, at least in Paris vs other cities and towns there, the drivers for some reason did NOT have a yield to pedestrians culture like even the most car dependent suburbs and rural areas do here. And it’s a not a ‘too many people thing’, Boston and nyc generally has it too when cars and walkers are an involved.

From what I kind of noticed, They obeyed red lights and that’s it. Stopping for people walking seemed like a blatant annoyance

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that-Sarah-girl@reddit

I was just in Paris and Toulouse in December and nobody was an asshole at all. I got smiles. I got free samples. I got help with things I didn't understand.

You have to say hello to everyone (preferably in French) before talking to them about anything else. It's very rude not to say hello first, which isn't a thing in America, so it's easy to forget. They will resent you for skipping it.

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smarmiebastard@reddit

The only place I’ve been to where it’s easier to talk to people than the US is Brazil.

One weekend, short after I had arrived in São Paulo, I was walking my dog through a plaza. A group of people were hanging out and wanted to pet my dog. We chatted for a bit, and like 20 minutes later I was invited to their apartment for someone’s birthday party.

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spoospoo43@reddit

I don't know if it's French in general, but Parisians seem to uniformly hate anyone that doesn't speak their language impeccably. One one trip I asked an employee AT MY HOTEL for a suggestion for a nice place for breakfast, and a coworker told them to "send him to the place where all the prostitutes go". I asked in english, but I can sorta-kinda puzzle out french sometimes, and got the gist of what they said. It was awkward.

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WWGHIAFTC@reddit

My experience with the French is from French Basque country, and everyone I interreacted with in tourist spots and off the path spots was most excellent.

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upnflames@reddit

France sucks and my family is from France. I used to be employed by a French company and would go over there for work - everyone is rude as fuck and miserable for no reason. Even outside of Paris. I'm fluent (ish) and it still sucks. If you don't speak it, they're downright mean.

If there's an American reading this planning on visiting Europe; Italy, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, England, Ireland, Croatia, Netherlands. All better than France.

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bi_polar2bear@reddit

They don't believe tourist money is good enough. It's funny they choose to be assholes to everyone, when they needed help just to survive during WW2. How did they go from being grateful and a partner to the world's largest collective of assholes?

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totesmadoge@reddit

We did not exactly treat De Gaulle like a partner. And we had plans for a “liberated” France that also would not have treated them like an equal partner. Not to mention our “freedom fries” era. You’re assuming they’re pissy for no reason and ignoring things America has done that have made us a less than stellar ally.

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bi_polar2bear@reddit

Be pissy at the politicians, not the people. Politicians always fuck things up. I've been friends with people from Iraq, Egypt, and other countries that America wasn't on great terms with, because the people are the lifeblood of the country, and are no different than anyone else in the world, except the French. They can't separate people from politicians and are the worst. As much as I don't care for the French or how they treated me, I'd still welcome them with open arms if they were visiting the US.

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totesmadoge@reddit

You brought up WWII. I'm telling you why things were not exactly like the stereotype we have in our heads—especially from the European point of view.

European countries—especially France—have a different view toward politics, civic engagement, and personal responsibility for government action than we do. Politicians work for us—we have to hold them accountable. So when they see things like our government get up in front of the UN spewing blatant lies and we the people let them get away with it, it frustrates the shit out of them—not to mention the hornets nest of global economic and political instability we're creating now. That very instability has a real, measurable impact on their daily lives. It's crazy to them that we say we have the same values they do when, from their point of view, our enactment of those values falls short. The French aren't going to cater to your cultural expectations of friendliness, low personal responsibility for our country's actions, service culture, or English competency—nor should they, you're in their country. To expect otherwise is the very definition of the ugly American.

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bi_polar2bear@reddit

I never expected the people to cater to me. I expected them to treat people with civility. No other country has the reputation of France for treating people badly. Being civil is common sense and expected. Even their politicians have rules of civility for foreign dignitaries. French are known for doing things a very specific way. Just look at how kitchens were set up and run. But when it comes to guests visiting their country, their attitude is "Fuck you!" Who insults guests or people with such disdain? It's like they hate themselves, their country, and everyone else. As many countries as I've been to and lived, France is the very worst by far, because they are the narcissistic spoiled child of Europe.

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MyUsername2459@reddit

DeGaulle was an arrogant ass who was treated like he treated everyone else.

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gsxr@reddit

It would take a lot to get me to go back to France. I had the same experience of french people being openly hostile. Been all around the world, from tiny villages in Mexico to Asia, never have I experienced such asshole behavior as in france.

I was in the middle of Milan, trying to walk into a restaurant. There was a group of french couples standing in front of the entrance. Nicely asked if they were in line, they said No in the most "i hate you" voice ever. Tried to around them and they decided it'd be a good time to move to block me. I'm not a large American, but I'm pretty dang large compared to the average frenchie. As they stared at me like I was wrong for trying to go around them and they were blocking the entrance, I picked up his little ass and set him about 2 ft to the side. This was 1 of 4 incidents I had that week.

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meowmix778@reddit

When I lived in Japan, I felt that even if I spoke to a Japanese person, they were uninterested in speaking with me.

My Japanese friends frame that as Americans are often seen as rude, don't know the rules of the culture or they don't speak Japanese to a level that makes conversations easy.

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Swimming-Book-1296@reddit

yes, and it isn't even close.

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FireFeather22@reddit

I’m an American who lived in Germany and it is harder to casually make friends in Germany, but once you do, they’re friends for life. Americans are easier to meet and hang out with but it’s very common to have an amazing first meet up with an American and then you never talk again (not that anything bad happened, but Americans have SO many friends and are habitually “busy” so it’s really hard to have regular time for all those friends or to make really deep, lasting connections)

I feel terrible that I don’t keep up with my German friends as well as they keep up with me 😞

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hastduetwas@reddit

Lived in italy for a bit and it seemed to me like people made their friends from school/hometown and just stuck with them for the rest of their lives. I have seen people online talk about doing that too.

I think part of this is that Italians are more likely to stay around where they grew up than many Americans. Im sure there are places or social circles similar to NYC where many people are isolated transplants.

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capndiln@reddit

I would say language barriers are the biggest issue. America is super spread out with so much to see but all speaks the same language. Some accents might be impossible to understand, but it is technically the same language.

Our history is also pretty short. We dont have more than a couple hundred years of grudges to form subconscious bias. North vs South is probably the biggest one, sadly many other bias factors are also prevalent within the US.

Many European nations are on land that has been civilized in some way for over 3x the time what is now the US even had its first successful colonies. That history is valuable and can be learned from, but it can just as easily be used for division and regression. It can also influence subconscious bias that ends up being on a much more confined scale due to how the countries of europe came to be.

We are also a bit isolated with oceans on two sides meaning air and sea are the only options for travel. Maybe that forces us to be friendlier somehow?

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TheLemonChiffonPie@reddit

The English are a friendly bunch 🙂

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Due_Student9136@reddit

as an american living in austria, can confirm. i have lived in the middle east, travelled all over Australia, other parts of Europe, central America, and all over the US. thou shall not make friends in europe.

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gnominos@reddit

Friendship in america are very superficial

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Necessary-Wasabi-450@reddit

Comparing a country with a continent is interesting. So is norms vary greatly so the answer depends on where in Europe. I haven't really had issues making friends anywhere.

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Glass-Ad4160@reddit

Yes and we regularly walk in our neighbors houses etc it’s community

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Brutalitops614@reddit

The only friends I made in Europe were other Americans visiting Europe...

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kirinlikethebeer@reddit

Living in Germany: it’s easier to make acquaintances in the USA. So much so that when one meets someone for the first time one often frames it as a “new friend” when really that’s an acquaintance. I’d say Germans are much clearer about the difference (and not so interested in fleeting acquaintances) which makes it feel harder but is ultimately more worthwhile.

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Shop-Tiny@reddit

European here

I visited only NYC, North Carolina and Minnesota, and I was surprised how much easier it was to make connections there than in Europe

Especially in NC (spent there about a month - month and a half), everyone I’ve met there were so nice and friendly

Before anyone tells me that it’s all fake yada yada

I’m a 32y old man, I understand that I’m not building some deep friendships, but it’s still refreshing to just be able to strike up a conversation with total strangers and even meet up with them again

I travel a lot due to work (spend around 120-150 days traveling) and USA is one of the most socially “fun” place to visit

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henkkaj@reddit

Americans call acquaintances "friends". 🇫🇮 We don't.

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Equivalent-Math-2448@reddit

Last year, we spent a month traveling in Spain. We truly felt that Europeans were more "slow to warm up but deeper" when it came to making friends, while Americans seemed more enthusiastic at the beginning.

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PeaceAndLove1201@reddit

It depends on where you live. New York and and most of its surrounding states are not friendly. Most of the south is super friendly. Come to Texas and everyone strikes up a conversation…except for some of the bigger cities. Overall America is definitely more friendly. I lived in Berlin for 3 years and one of my neighbors there commented that the thing wrong with Americans was they thought they had to have friends. Of course, that was in Germany, known for starting wars.😂

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EconomyDepartment720@reddit

I can only speak to London, but it was crazy how difficult it was to make friends there. Everyone just wanted to be by themselves and a lot of exchange students like myself found ourselves lonely over there, only really having each other for company.

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Vivid_Flamingo1459@reddit

I am american, but spent a lot of time abroad. The analogy I like is "melons vs peaches"

Americans are peaches. Its super easy to get through the outer layers. Light, somewhat superficial friendships form, you are invited to the bbq or whatever. But closer, more intimate friendships are reserved for the few and are very hard and time consuming to form.

Europeans (this analogy was given to me by a Romanian for the record) are melons. Friendship is all or nothing. Once you penetrate the outer layer, you are tight. But there is far less "casual friendship"

Obviously, there is huge variation based on where in Europe, and individuals. But it has lined up with my experiences.

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tinyElliss@reddit

Yeah this matches my experience. Neither is wrong just different approches

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Legend13CNS@reddit

That makes good sense to me. It matches with my experience with exchange students when I was in college. I got to know a big group of them and was seeing a lot of them almost daily, and the whole group got along really well. I think I learned more about the Brazilian, Aussie, and Japanese students at the end of the first week than I learned about the German, French, and Dutch students by the end of the semester.

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108ePanda@reddit

That famous country ‘Europe’, actually comprising over forty countries, from Belarus to Portugal, from Finland to Malta, with massive variations in history, climate, culture, and behaviour…

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Zingldorf@reddit

I’m a young duel US/french citizen and I gotta be honest it’s kinda easier in France,the young people are much more out going and social. Young Americans are so awkward and antisocial like you’ll try and have a conversation with someone your age and they’ll look at you like you just shot their mother. Like yeah it can be easier at times to meet someone in the states and go for beers but it’s always like a couples meet up and they are all so fake the entire time

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MrEntrepot@reddit

Probably, but being Black seemed to open some doors for me just by virtue of not being the typical American who visits. The European closed off ness people talk about is in my experience entirely theoretical although I know it exists.

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Shellyd00m@reddit

Lived in Scotland for a while, from Texas originally. I think “easier” is kind of subjective. It’ll depend on how much you generally try to make new friends. Something I noticed about people in Scotland at least was they tend to make a group of friends early on in school and just never feel like making any more after that. You CAN make friends with people, in my experience people are friendly and open to it, but it’ll require more intentionality than it probably would in the States.

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bonnardpainting@reddit

yes i definitely find americans more open. ireland is the one place ive been to where, no matter where we went, we would have strangers sit down next to us and chat, even more so than in the united states. however i have heard from people who have moved there and not just visited it is a bit harder to make close friends, as a lot of people already have established friend groups going back to childhood.

i will say i went to a college in nyc that had a large exchange program and weirdly i always ended up very quickly becoming good friends with the exchange students, more so than the american students. over a decade later still am in touch with most of them, one is still a really big collaborator on creative projects even though she lives back in amsterdam now. so for some reason the sweet spot for making friendship for me is europeans living in america. (maybe because im a bit reserved, so while I come off kind of shy to americans, but am still more outgoing then most europeans lol)

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Acrobatic-Key-127@reddit

I’m from Seattle so I’m not sure I should answer for the US 😅

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edelmav@reddit

500% yes. i've lived in europe and asia and europeans treat you like an asylum escapee for trying to start a conversation with them if you don't already know each other, especially if they hear your accent. asians (at least in the far east) are extremely hesitant to engage with anyone who looks different from them, or they treat you like a novelty, almost less-than-human.

americans, canadians, and australians are known for being outgoing because it's how our culture was built. people from different european nations settled near each other, so you had to learn how to cooperate and overlook differences in a way you didn't have to in the old world. because of this, our culture of being open to talking with anyone and everyone developed rather quickly. it's also why so many of us with deep american roots are so thoroughly mixed; because people from different languages, cultures, and faiths managed to intermingle in ways unfamiliar to europe.

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EmberlynSlade@reddit

When I visited Denmark two different times, the only other people I spoke to besides the townspeople were other tourists or people from other countries who had immigrated there. I never thought about that until now.

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AreYouA_Tampon@reddit

Lived in Sweden for about a year, like twenty years ago, with Swedish husband. Only friends I made were from China and Lebanon.

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t1dmommy@reddit

Same! Except it was a boyfriend 30 years ago. All my friends were from the "Swedish for immigrants" course. Indonesia, Cuba, Greece, etc.

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PitbullRetriever@reddit

I lived in Stockholm as an American exchange student. Formed a nice English-speaking friend group of Americans, Canadians and Brits. We ended up having a few local Swedes glom on to our group because we were just so much more gregarious than most other locals 😂

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Ok-Guitar-6553@reddit

Depends where in Europe. I visit Hungary often and it’s easy to strike up conversations and make friends.

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AcceptableBanana2670@reddit

I lived in France for a couple years and I'm Spain for one. They had vastly different social systems. In Spain, I've never had an easier time making what felt like genuine friends. In France, most of my friends were other foreigners.

But there's something that's been hard for me to place about how different it felt. It often feels like Americans are low key posturing.... it feels like every conversation is about reinforcing your identity. Interactions in Europe felt more laid back and like there was nothing to prove.

I hate it when people romanticize everything about Europe and hate on everything American, and i have a number of things that I prefer about American culture. But in this realm, I much prefer European. Specifically southern European.

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

What do you mean by “reinforcing your identity”?

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huazzy@reddit

I'm not OP but I think I understand what he means. This kind of came up in another thread last week but I get the feeling that Americans have a desperate need to "connect" with who they are interacting with.

So the conversations usually revolve around trying to establish some sort of identity about the person. I don't think it's purely negative, and if anything I appreciate it. But I can see how this might come off as posturing.

What do you do for a living? Where did you go to University? What cities have you lived in? What sports teams do you follow? Where have you traveled to?

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

Right, but connecting with someone and reinforcing one’s identity are in no way the same thing.

I’m happy to ask questions about someone else’s hobby even if I don’t know anything about it at all. Or ask them about their college experience despite having no connection to it.

How are those questions posturing?

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huazzy@reddit

I'm not European (just live here). But that's the feedback I've gotten quite often.

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

But you didn't answer my question. How are those questions posturing? Fine if you're just passing along what you've heard/feedback you've received on that point.

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huazzy@reddit

Yeah just passing along. For what it's worth I've asked this to AskEurope and the mods haven't approved it.

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ajdnskcgabco@reddit

Genuine question, what are you talking about with people you’ve just met if not things like that? That’s pretty standard small talk for Americans, because we see it as something easy to relate/make a connection to.

I.e., “oh you went to university for so and so? I went to X university. Did you like your school?” And the convo goes from there.

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huazzy@reddit

Yeah I'm American and completely understand this to be small talk. But I've had discussions with many Europeans that find the American approach to small talk to be a bit aggressive or "fake".

Beats me...

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AcceptableBanana2670@reddit

I was having a hard time putting it into words, so i asked Gemini to help me out and this sounds exactly right:

"In American culture, we are often taught to "sell" ourselves. Even in casual settings, there is a subconscious habit of mentioning things that signal our status, politics, or lifestyle. It feels like every story or opinion is a brick being laid to build a specific image of who we are.

Identity reinforcement often shows up as "virtue signaling" or "lifestyle signaling." People might go out of their way to mention their organic diet, their specific workout routine, or their stance on a hot-button issue. In Europe—especially Southern Europe—there is often a sense that your "identity" is already understood by your community or family, so you don't have to constantly announce it to strangers.

American individualism creates a pressure to be "one of a kind." This leads to conversations where people are constantly differentiating themselves from others. In the European context you described, there’s often more comfort in being "part of the collective," which removes that competitive edge from a simple chat."

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

I don’t find what you describe about American social interaction relatable at all, frankly. Maybe I’m just ill?

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AcceptableBanana2670@reddit

Or maybe you've just had a different experience. Out of billions of people occupying these continents, it would be crazy if everyone has the exact same social experience. We could be different genders, different ages, from entirely different regions or social groups. I'm just trying to convey mine, so don't get all offended.

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

I’m not offended. Based on your response, you seem offended.

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AcceptableBanana2670@reddit

I just thought it was silly when you suggested your experience was different because maybe you're "ill." Like if we don't both see it the same way, there must be something wrong with one of us. Relax dude.

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

Given that your claim was a generalization, this seems like an asymmetric situation. But okay.

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AcceptableBanana2670@reddit

Looking further into this has helped me actually change my opinion on something, which is really cool.

There's definitely sociological evidence that Americans talk more about themselves in conversation to show their identity and drop little potential areas of connection with the person they're speaking to. But i think i was wrong in how I was thinking about that.

I used the word posturing, because that's what it always felt like to me- social status posturing. And that does happen. But i think the actual overall phenomenon is much broader and has more to do with the fact that we're an individuallistic culture where no one's identity is already tied to a certain family or place. So we try harder to communicate who we are to others in an effort to connect. That's pretty cool.

Thanks for promoting me to learn something :)

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

Southern Europe is very different from Northern Europe in this respect.

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Nomadchun23@reddit

This is only true if you exclude Russia. Russia is the easiest place ever to talk to people.

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jcowlishaw@reddit

This is one of those times you need to remember both “America is big” and “Europe is more than one place.” Youghal, Ireland vs New York City– Ireland is much friendlier. Paris vs Goodland, Kansas– Goodland wins hands down. Bamberg, Germany vs Paharon, Utah- Pahoran wins.

In general, America is friendlier, but there will be many exceptions

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anarchy45@reddit

New Yorkers are actually very friendly, when they arent in a rush to get someplace or in a mob of tourists. I get compliments on my outfit, hair, and tattoos almost every day from strangers, while I am walking around town or riding the subway. New Yorkers are awesome.

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CowOk4786@reddit

As an introvert, I love how in Europe, nobody talks to me. I'm from west Texas, where the grocery store cashier will try to strike up a conversation with you.

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TexasRed806@reddit

I’ve lived in the Netherlands since last October and while I haven’t been here long, the only friends I’ve made are other Americans or Australian. It’s somewhat understood that despite the fact a majority speak English perfectly well, Dutch people don’t often like to socialize much unless you speak Dutch. They can be totally friendly and will hold conversations with you of course, but they’re probably not inviting you to hang out or go to dinner most likely.

I get it though. It’s probably not super fun to try to make close friends with someone who doesn’t speak your native language, and they’ve already got their established friend circles and neighbors they’ve known a lot longer than me.

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Cerulean_IsFancyBlue@reddit

I think when you visit somewhere briefly, you have a very different experience than when you live somewhere. You might be hanging out in areas that are a lot of fun and strike up a lot of casual acquaintances. If you were a young person backpacking through the country, you’re gonna meet up with other young adventures people and get invited to do young people things. If you’re an old person on a structured trip like a river cruise, you’re going to meet other old people with similar interests. It’s just a very artificial situation that can be both easier to make quick acquaintances and harder to make the lasting friendships.

Based on my one long period in Europe, where I stayed in one place for months instead of days, I would say they seem to be roughly similar. Out of those five months, there’s two people I still keep in contact with, which is on par with other periods in my life in terms of making long-term friends.

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wieldymouse@reddit

I lived in Germany for a bit. I had coworkers that were my friends (3 Germans, 2 UK citizens, and 1 American). I still talk to one of the Germans and one of the UK citizens even though I haven't lived there in nearly 4 years.

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fence-connoisseur@reddit

Are you asking people from central America or south america? Big difference in affiliation norms

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Kentucky_Supreme@reddit

I doubt it. People only seem to talk here if they're asking for money or they have to for their job. I've heard Europeans are more friendly and down to earth but I've never been there. Although, the foreigners I have met do seem to be more friendly and personable.

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Unlucky_Clock_1628@reddit

American's are like peaches.

Europeans are like watermelons.

American's are soft, sweet and friendly, easy to get to know and easy to befriend. They will talk with anyone about anything. But, they are guarded about their inner selves. There is a pitt to them that is very hard to crack. It may be what makes them angry, or scared or uncomfortable or vulnerable, but they won't talk about it with hardly anyone.

Europeans have a hard shell. They are polite, but distant. It takes a while and some work to get through it. You need to prove that you are a good person to them, that you are worthy of being let it. Once you are in, you know everything. All the details. There is no holding back, which can shock some American's who finally get through the shell.

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yungsausages@reddit

I’m a German/American dual citizen who’s lived in both places for about half of my 29 years of life and it is a resounding yes. Even as a German, it’s so difficult for me to make friends in Germany. It’s not that people are mean or push people away, it’s just that a lot of people make friends young that they stick with through life. Makes it harder, though it’s not impossible it just requires more motivation (joining clubs and so on), in the US i could talk to a new neighbor and be skiing with them a week later lol

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BlaggartDiggletyDonk@reddit

They don't move around as much as we do? For a lot of Americans, you either make friends with people you just met or you have no friends.

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vargemp@reddit

Why would you constantly want new friends? I got 1 or 2 I see twice a year and thats enough lol

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Top_Blacksmith2845@reddit

Seeing a friend 2-4 times a year is much lower than most people like lol that's like a bad month for me

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BlaggartDiggletyDonk@reddit

If you're 23, just started a new job two weeks ago, and have been living in your current city for a one week longer than that, thousands of miles from where you grew up, you're starting out with 0 friends.

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yungsausages@reddit

Yeah I think it’s a lot more common to stay around the same area you grew up in, I mean nowadays things change but if you do move like for uni you end up making friends with people there which then turn into life-long friends. Although ofc there’s always clubs (and Germans love clubs), there’s clubs for everything from table tennis to tax advice to whatever your mind can come up with lol, but def harder than just sparking up a convo with neighbors. Not to say that neighbors are assholes, generally people do speak with and are vocal with their neighbors but it’s just not the type of friendship where you’ll invite them over when you bbq or whatever

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StorySammler@reddit

I’m also a German/American dual citizen, have also lived in both places, and I definitely agree with this summary. However, I would complicate it slightly in two ways:

Certain European cities are great places to make friends, especially the ones with a steady influx of diverse newcomers. I had a super easy time getting to know people in places like Berlin and Athens, for example. By contrast, it can be very difficult to make friends in rural America, where people are often isolated in their cars and live far away from each other.
I can’t speak to the rest of Europe, but in Germany at least it may be harder to build new or superficial friendships, but the ones you do find can quickly become much more profound than the majority of American friendships. My German friendships rest on levels of dependability and honesty that are hard to come by in American friendships, especially if you meet as adults.

Don’t get me wrong, I have found very deep friendships in both contexts, but each culture poses its own challenges.

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Broad-Cranberry-9050@reddit

Yeah correct me if im wrong but i just feel like USA has more of a “move away from home” mentality. You gotta be able to mae new frinds becuase if you work in corporate america you have to move for it and it probaly takes your friends to other places too, etc. i lived half in latin america and half in usa. Most of my friends in latin america still hang out together but none of my friends in USA even talk anymore.

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yungsausages@reddit

Yeah for sure, personally my American side is much stronger on that because I think it’s great to move around and try new things, but a lot of my coworkers here in Germany can’t fathom the idea of me moving back here in my 20s and now probably moving to France in the coming years.

Shit, I think at least half of the people on my team live on the same street as their parents still, has its perks of course but idk not my thing. Kind of makes me cringe in a way bc it feels so closed off from the world, idk, I love my parents more than anything but I don’t think I could be their neighbor lol.

Especially considering that a lot of those people that do still live near parents it’s typically a tiny village of like sub 1000 people, I’m sure you know about that w Latin America though bc ik family is a big thing there as well

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SquashDue502@reddit

Studied abroad in Austria and all the Austrian college went home for the weekend, so it ended up being the Americans and international students hanging out and making weekend plans lol

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XenonDragonfly@reddit

I should imagine it's quite regional, because when I spent last summer in Rome, I found the Romans to be wonderful, friendly people, just not in the same way Americans are. Like they don't wave at you and ask how your day is going, but I always struck up a warm conversation with the barista next to the language school I was attending.

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TipFuture341@reddit

Its as easy as making Friends in north Korea, the only difference is you can leave Europe

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lafigueroar@reddit

Yes, people in the USA are friendlier than any place in Europe; specially northern Europe (north of Wallonia, Belgium).

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ham_solo@reddit

I am only speaking anecdotally, but on the flip side, I have more than a few friends from Europe, and many have said they have an easier time meeting people in the States than where they are from. This ranges from a high-school-age person to adults. In general, the two most common things they comment on are the size of the country and how much more friendly everyone is.

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Wepo_@reddit

When we visited Europe from Cali, we immediately made friends with some people from Alaska and spent the whole time partying with them. That said, they met some German girls, and we partied with them as well. It was kind of funny teasing the girls about, "Oh yeah, we all have guns. Everyone has one." They took us so seriously. I'm sure they still talk about those crazy Americans they met in Amsterdam. Very fun weekend.

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D3moknight@reddit

I have made friends with people from Europe, but never made a friend with someone IN Europe. I haven't been to Australia yet, so I can't speak on that. From the Australians I have met and all of the Australian internet interactions I have had, I can say that Aussies are some cool folks though.

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Mtngirl2018@reddit

Not Europe but when I visited Japan I was shocked at how little people engaged. America is far from perfect but we have friendliness and helpfulness going for us

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QueenShewolf@reddit

I found the Brits to be friendly. One guy on the underground (or subway, as we say) joked with us about how we make our eggs over-easy.

The Italians are a give or take. In the big cities, they're a little rude and jip you. The ones in small towns are much more friendlier. When I went to my "heritage towns", people were so interested in our family that they invited us into their homes where my grandfather and great grandparents lived. One man went out of his way to find if I have any relatives that stayed behind in the town where my great grandfather came from.

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holymacaroley@reddit

A million times yes. I lived in the UK for 4 years, married to a Brit. I got along with people fine, but didn't make close friends, no one I could talk to or hang out with, other than his best friend and hid wife and unfortunately they lived 2 hours away. I got incredibly homesick, it was before most people were on the internet and the time difference made it so I almost never talked to anyone. That was in the London area and home counties. My husband said if we had been where he grew up in Wales they would have warmly welcomed me, that would have been nice.

I tried community theatre, volunteer work, a postgraduate degree, events in the local hall, etc. to meet people. At home, I made close friends very easily.

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Massimo25ore@reddit

A million times yes

You're basing your opinion about a whole continent out of "London area and home counties?

Europe has 750 million inhabitants, more than twice the United States has, and there are countries where there's quite a difference of attitude in this regard from different parts of those countries, such as in Germany, the United Kingdom, Italy and France.

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holymacaroley@reddit

In no way did I say that. I quite literally said this was my experience, where it was, and that it probably would have been different somewhere else. And I never said a thing about the rest of Europe. Way to twist it.

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Conclamatus@reddit

My husband said if we had been where he grew up in Wales they would have warmly welcomed me, that would have been nice.

North Wales did remind me of Appalachia in some ways at least. Rough history, some rough living, but some of the most genuine people in the world.

I remember striking up an hours-long conversation with an elderly Welsh couple on the train (trains were not doing well that day, doubled the time to get to the North) and it was like being home, they were so kind, curious, and helpful. Wales, particularly the North, will always have a special place in my heart, not simply because of the beauty, but also because of the people.

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Legal_Beats@reddit

It’s a bit of a culture shock. In the States, "How are you?" is just a greeting, not an actual question. In a lot of European countries, people find that "fake" friendliness really confusing. If you’re in a place like Spain or Italy, the social life happens in the plazas and it’s very easy to join a group. But in Northern Europe? Good luck breaking into a friend group that has been together since kindergarten. It takes way more work than it does back home

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tenehemia@reddit

For sure. I lived in Germany and my and ex and I would try to make friends all over and the only people who were interested in talking to strangers were other foreigners. We ended up making a bunch of friends who were American, Canadian, Chilean, Turkish, etc, but when I left Germany there weren't any Germans I knew well enough to stay in contact with.

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sjedinjenoStanje@reddit

This is a very familiar pattern. My best friend lived in the UK for 8 years. ALL of her friends were non-British nationals.

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torchwood1842@reddit

My sister lives in the UK and had this experience until she started dating and then married a British guy. Now she has some British friends through him. But all the friends she made herself are non-British.

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MortgageOdd2001@reddit

My cousin lives in Germany (years in Munich, and Hamburg now) and she said the same thing when I visited her during vacation last year.

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kreativegaming@reddit

Its interesting that everyone seems to be reinforcing this but every foreign exchange student is met growing up was pretty outgoing and talked to everyone.

That being said if you really want friendly go to Mexico. Went there for a high school trip and ive never had so many people inches from my face and talking my head off.

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RepresentativeOk2433@reddit

Visited Germany for a few weeks. Definitely seemed that way. Even found out several days in that some of my local colleagues could speak perfect English but hid the fact because they didnt want to associate with us.

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Comfortable-Bike9080@reddit

Yesss, it's so freakin true

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waxyjax_@reddit

It’s interesting that the French and Germans get such a cold reputation—they seem to be the two countries I most easily make friends in. Granted it’s not just out of nowhere—but if you have a specific interest in something (for me it’s art, music, dancing, wine, architecture, etc) it can be surprisingly easy making friends there.

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zoebells@reddit

I just returned from Europe and yeah… I couldn’t even get anyone to smile at me let alone become friends. It’s insane

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Nathan-Nice@reddit

I'm an American who lived in London for two years in my late 20s, have also spent a lot of time in other European countries. Europeans are super nice once you get to know them, but they definitely seem less willing to befriend new people or converse with strangers at the bar...except the Irish, they were insanely friendly in my experience.

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bucktoothedhazelnut@reddit

Yes, but most Americans are here temporarily and most Americans don’t learn the local language to become part of the community.

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tree-dantzer@reddit

Definitely easier in the US. People are more open to making friends throughout their life (even just acquaintances), whereas in many parts of Europe, they form a close friend group in elementary school and then THAT'S IT. They don't let others join in easily.

My husband is from the Netherlands, and I thought it was crazy that "the normal thing" in Europe is to have your same exact friend group from childhood and never changing or adding new people.

My friends (as an American) consist of various people from school, college, jobs/work, the club from back in my party days, festivals, neighbors, friends of friends, outdoor activity groups... all different people from different times and places, and all different backgrounds.

Americans are more open to talking with strangers too (small talk). While this doesn't usually lead to a deep close friendship, it's a testament to our more open nature and social behavior (vs. many Europeans who don't like that). We like to give strangers compliments and advice or connect them with others too. I mean, forums like reddit started as Americans online (strangers) just talking to each other and giving advice on different topics LOL.

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panken@reddit

I wasnt in Europe to make friemds, however i noticed much less small talk.

Just yesterday, i was at the grocery store and i had multiple start some small talk chats with me. Kids growing up, having trouble finding stuff, weather, etc...

In Europe i didnt really notice that. Now...i was in another country that doesnt have english as its first language so its entirely possible i missed all those interactions between locals because i couldnt understand them and i was too busy trying to make sure i was navigating the city correctly.

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rewt127@reddit

Just yesterday, i was at the grocery store and i had multiple start some small talk chats with me. Kids growing up, having trouble finding stuff, weather, etc...

Its incredible just how different peoples experiences can be. I have never had someone start a conversation with me in a grocery store. Its not a "oh it never happens" because jts once in a blue moon. No I mean literally 0 times.

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vargemp@reddit

Maybe your grocery store cashiers are just more efficient.

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Whatcanyado420@reddit

very common in the south

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lucylucylane@reddit

You can't generalize Europe Spain Finland Scotland and Russia have very different cultures

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Bcatfan08@reddit

I travel to Europe for business to visit suppliers. The suppliers are plenty friendly, but they're also there to make the customer happy. Usually the people that are customer facing are the most friendly you can find.

I will say Italians and the English have been the most friendly. The English generally have a great sense of humor. I'm biased towards the Italians. You bring me really well made pasta and I really don't care if the conversation sucks.

I haven't been in France much, but the people I've met weren't the most welcoming. Germans weren't bad, but pretty much how you'd expect. Very direct and pretty bad at small talk. They just wanted to do their work and go home. Nothing wrong with it. Just not the kind of work environment I enjoy.

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hawthornetree@reddit

I'm new to a small apartment building. Neighbor while talking to me (20min into the conversation) mentions a neighbor on the other side, describe which vehicle he drives, and says without a hint of irony that I should make sure I have enough time before I get into a conversation with him, because he sure likes to talk. Accurate.

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Mata187@reddit

I’ve lived in Germany, Turkey, and the UK. And I was able to make friends in every country. Although it was more difficult in Turkey due to the language barrier and restrictions of living on base full time.

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Js987@reddit

Europeans seem to be more likely to be like the East Coast to me. Direct, not particularly outgoing, far less likely to strike up a random conversation.

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Different_Radish7094@reddit

The weird thing is that I found it much easier to make friends on the East Coast than in the Midwest! However, that could be because the queer community is just larger there.

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Immediate-Leave5286@reddit

I lived in Spain for 4 months and made zero friends. Strangers are friendly and helpful, but building actual friendships was impossible.

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josecolon99@reddit

Yes

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ThrockAMole@reddit

I’ve traveled many places but Ireland was the most friendly. I warned the people I talked to that Americans will talk to anybody and think nothing of it.

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popeyeschicknisheavn@reddit

I’ll say I have family from Bosnia and Slovenia and I myself lived in Prishtina for a while and I found that making friends over there was incredibly easy and to this day they are some of my best friends. Maybe in other parts of Europe it’s harder to make friends but from my experience there it’s definitely just the same as the US

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winteriscoming9099@reddit

Depends on the country in Europe imo but broadly speaking, yes it is. From my admittedly limited experience, Ireland, the UK, Italy were all pretty friendly, Spain as well. The French people I met were very closed off and haughty, as were the Dutch. In Denmark the ppl seemed a bit closed off but not mean, similar to Belgium and Switzerland. That’s just my experience, it’ll hardly be universal.

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Rough-Adeptness7736@reddit

Americans are so friendly. I was in line at the post office recently and they had one person working so the line was moving incredibly slow. It wasn't long before the entire post office was filled with the chatter of the people in line just talking about their day or what they were mailing. I'm incredibly introverted and I was so uncomfortable. I think I'm better suited for Europe. Lol

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Temporary_Solid_5869@reddit

It seemed to me the people in Ireland were really chill and open to random interactions.

But yeah, Netherlands, Belgium, France, Germany, UK, and Spain(less so as I speak a little Spanish and they opened up), were all pretty meh on talking to strangers. I think the Netherlands was the worst. I tried asking for directions to my hotel because I knew I was close, and asking a random citizen where my hotel was I felt like i was trying to rob them. This was in 2014 so smart phones were a thing but not like today and I didn’t have global roaming.

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SassyGirl0202@reddit

I go to Europe for vacation. I’m not there to make friends. Always have a great time and the people are fantastic!

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PlasticFern971@reddit

I went to Europe and only befriended an Australian lmao So yes?

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Cudi_buddy@reddit

Only been to Europe for a little over a month. Went to a few different cities. I hit it off with an Italian and oddly Swedish dude in Paris. This was after quite a lot of wine tbf. I ran into a lot of traveling Americans and made small talk as well lol

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Eastern_Sky@reddit

As Americans we’re just pretty social as a group. If you move somewhere in the USA, have a job and get involved in some local stuff it’d be hard to NOT make friends. Probably also some language and cultural barriers for Americans making friends in Europe.

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BagpiperAnonymous@reddit

I've been twice: once to Italy and once to Scotland. I didn't feel like it was any harder making friends/being friendly, but these weren't typical tourist experiences. One was a Lions Club convention, and the people that go generally enjoy talking to each other. The other was a bagpipe school where we spent a lot of time together. But even when I was doing touristy things before/after the school, people were still friendly. I had a lovely chat with some women from Southern England on a Loch Ness cruise. I felt it was pretty comparable to midwestern US friendliness wise.

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No-Temporary-5978@reddit

Absolutely not.

I noticed that when you start talking with Europeans they expect you to be genuine, because people don't really ever do so. In the US, they expect you to be superficially nice. In the EU, they think you are super genuine and will befriend you quickly

For example:

In the US: Me: Let's hang out sometime! Them: Yeah sure, well keep in touch

In Germany: Lets hang out sometime! Them: Okay. When? Where? What day? What's the address? What will I need to bring? Can you add it to your calendar right now?

It's actually awesome. As an American who moved around his whole life, I had a major time making friends in the US because of this. When I moved to the EU last year, I made so many friends so easily - and they were good, genuine friends as well.

I currently live in Latvia, where it's the same. I've noticed this to be true in DE, PL, SRB and LV so far.

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meep_meep_creep@reddit

How do you like LV?

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HotTopicMallRat@reddit

In America , you can talk to anyone about most things. If I’m walking down the street and see a girl in a dress I like I can say “hey! Love that dress ! You look amazing!” And she’ll be cool with it (I’m a girl too though) . If a dude is walking a dog I can ask to pet it and strike up a conversation about common interests. In Monaco, I complimented a girl’s dress and told her she looked amazing. She whispered to the man next to her and then just stayed quiet and stared at me until I went away. In France , I tried to ask a doorman about the dress code before entering a building. I asked in French mind you, and the same thing. Stood perfectly still and avoided eye contact until I went away. Italy was way easier to be honest, but there were still those who would glare at me instead of helping when I asked where the bathroom was, again; in Italian.

Here in the states people think our friendliness is fake, it isn’t. We are very excited to make connections and friends .

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alwaysboopthesnoot@reddit

Mostly true, esp if you do not live in “American ghettos” or in military housing enclaves. You’re there temporarily and not forever and locals may not necessarily love you, your ideas, your nationality, anything about you. And, may share no common ground or history with you as well as not sharing a common language or literature, common understanding of history, governance, politics, etc.

If your kids go to international schools because they can’t attend the local schools, if there is a language barrier between you and your neighbors and they know you won’t be there very long? If you go back to The US for school breaks and home leave and don’t travel or stick around there much?

Neighbors may be distant but friendly, they may try to communicate but may not want to invest much time and energy into a possible friendship they won’t find very useful or meaningful to them.

You may discover that others very much like you are people you end up being lumped with at any gatherings you do attend, like school or work events.

We were lucky: every country we worked or lived in long term, the work force and the school environments were very diverse, warm and accepting and had a very large contingent of locals there. We weren’t military divers base adjacent or at the base schools. That canned to very cliquish, closed experiences for many.

Join any work clubs you can, language learning groups, charitable orgs, travel or sports clubs, book clubs, cooking or craft classes, those can all help you make friends as you learn the language and get your footing.

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An_elusive_potato@reddit

I got hammered in Dublin one night and ended up in a group chat with 38 people from every corn of the earth. I still talk to make of them daily. 0 issues making friends.

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casapantalones@reddit

I don’t try to make friends with strangers while on vacation, so I really wouldn’t know.

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media-entertainment@reddit

Yes.

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sum_dude44@reddit

Depends on northern or southern Europe. I made lots of friends in Spain when I lived there 20 years ago

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Hopeful_Pizza_2762@reddit

Not for everyone.

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ButterscotchOdd8257@reddit

Europe is not monolithic. I visited Germany, and then Spain, and they couldn't have been more different.

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uncle-brucie@reddit

I found Irish as friendly as Americans, just quieter before 9pm

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Yhamilitz@reddit

Mexican here. (Who lives in the USA)

I have been living in the USA for 10 years and I have been in Europe like 3 times... At least in my experience, it is easier to talk with Europeans that Americans. (Not counting the region where I live in the US)

Take in consideration that I usually go to Europe for holidays, while at the time I usually travel in the USA, I am in a specific group of people and usually for work/academic/professional reasons.

Now, it is extremely easy to talk with Italians everywhere I had been. I am also not the kind of person who is usually looking for casual conversations so every interaction in Europe had been with people that usually is in the same situation as me (Traveling around, or in a festivals)

Interacting with staff in Cafeterias and Bakeries for me is normal everywhere, (With the average courtesy as well)

Small talks? Not for me. It is also good to considerate that people in Europe get curious about what exactly is a Mexican doing in the USA (And I see Europeans are very interested in know about USA politics as an experience, but afraid to ask the incorrect questions)

I usually never traveled inside the USA in a casual way, so that is another experience I would not explain very well if I am honest with you.

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Agile-Barracuda9087@reddit

I grew up in Germany and spent the first half of my adult life in the US and have been in Australia for the last 20 years. The best friends I've made have been American and I still talk to them regularly even though I have only been back to the US once in 20 years. I'm sure it differs by region in the US, but on the West Coast, I found people very open to adding people to their friend groups.

IMO, Australians are very polite and will banter with you in a way that seems very friendly, but most are rarely open to making new friends beyond their high school/uni group. They're super friendly when they're traveling and it gives you the impression if you moved here, you'd experience the same level of curiosity and inclusion, but there are so many migrants and international students here, Australians are largely disinterested. Difficulty in making close friends is brought up as an issue regularly in the Aussie subs, even from Australians that move between cities as adults. With the exception of trades people, there is much less socialising with co-workers in Australia than the US. The comments are always "join a club" and I've done all that. On the surface, you might get together for coffee or an occasional meal, but if you stop going to the club due to a new time conflict, you never hear from them again, so in my mind, that is not friendship. I've had Australians that I thought were friends, to the point of taking care of each others houses during holidays, watching each others kids, loaning tools. As soon as the kids went to different high schools, never heard form them again even though they live just a few km from us. I might run into them at a shop and they're all "How ya goin" while ignoring the fact they never replied to the last three times you texted them. It's also been my experience that if you make the effort to host a BBQ, 30-40% of the people that RSVP "yes" will not show up. I've done that several times and it always leaves me out of pocket those that didn't show up. The best way to make friends in Australia is to seek out other migrants as they are also locked out of the existing friend groups.

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hibbledyhey@reddit

Traveled all over northern and Central Europe. Exactly one person engaged me in conversation after initiating contact, oddly a German. But it was only because she wanted to know what the logo on my St. Paul Saints cap meant. I’ve gotten more interaction from casually talking to a fellow produce consumer at the local Byerly’s.

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Last_Canary_6622@reddit

I remember being in Portugal and one Irish guy and his wife and kid striking up a conversation with me and my mom. Wasn't trying to scam us or anything. We just talked about America (this was in September 2024). Asked how the election was going.

Our response: We're tired

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LastCookie3448@reddit

Acquaintances, sure. Friends….Americans are less authentic and direct than most Europeans, I venture to say real friendships are harder to come by as an adult.

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yozaner1324@reddit

I didn't live there, so I can't really speak to what making friends is like, but I was surprised how friendly people were in Austria. I'd heard Germans and Austrians were more reserved, and while that seemed more true in Germany, Austrians were quite open and friendly.

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wonkintheworld@reddit

I lived in France for a year and found it very easy to make friends and feel at home. My affect/vibe was well received there (I’m shy and aloof at first, and have a serious resting face), and people often assumed I was French so I blended in easily. In contrast, in the USA I’m constantly dealing with perceptions that I’m stuck up or rude, because Americans can often come on very strong and be very expressive and emotive. I’m the opposite, so it actually played in my favor there.

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SamizdatGuy@reddit

I was an exchange student in the Netherlands. My host family wouldn't talk to people they didn't know, but I ended up making friends with some people. Then the host family became close with the people I met, like they simply didn't know how to break the ice.

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jazzbot247@reddit

I've found people in Amsterdam to be downright cold. Even the workers in the hotel couldn't manage a smile.

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ManufacturerDull4689@reddit

If you’re familiar with the phenomenon known as “Seattle Freeze”, multiply that by 30x. That’s the typical European although it varies by country and region within Europe.

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yzerizef@reddit

Obviously anecdotal, but I grew up in the US and made friends easily. I’ve been in the UK for 15 years and have also made friends pretty easily. I don’t think one was more difficult than the other so I’d say it’s about the same.

In Seattle, people are friendly but you have to deal with the “Seattle Freeze”. In London, you meet people who already have set friend groups, but also a lot of transplants looking to meet new friends.

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Agitated_Reveal_6211@reddit

Not from my perspective. I made a ton of friends in Europe just by being friendly and respectful

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ImCrossingYouInStyle@reddit

It is much easier in America to make friends. We are generally chatty, smiley, outgoing, and neighbourly. Europeans... are not. With one exception which for me would be Scotland.

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Fit_Island4260@reddit

It is damned near impossible to make friends in Australia. 0/10, do not recommend.

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GoldenGoof19@reddit

My family is from New Orleans and Texas which are both places where talking to strangers is completely normal and expected - in NOLA the wait staff at restaurants will call you pet names (in a friendly and NOT creepy way). I make friends on elevators, and in Texas it’s hard NOT to have people come up and talk to me. I have whatever the opposite of RBF is….

I weirded people out all over Eastern Europe until I stopped smiling at everyone, and stopped talking to cashiers etc. In Texas if you don’t say hi to the cashier and ask them how their day’s going, at a minimum, then you risk coming off as rude. In Lithuania unless you give off “I’m An American” vibes, then you’ll weird everyone out by being too friendly and smiling at strangers. Not even a huge smile but just like…. A mildly pleasant expression while making eye contact.

I found people to be super nice though once they realized I’m American, because I think they know we have very different ideas on how to interact with strangers. 😅

But like, actual friends? That’s harder I think than it is in some parts of America.

But America isn’t a monolith. I think it’s easier to make acquaintances in Texas but harder to bridge the gap to actual real friends. But then in places like Portland OR it can be hard to even get to acquaintance level, but once you’re at the “hey let’s grab a beer in an hour” level it seems easier to move to actual friendship. Idk that’s just my personal experience.

But… I’m not exactly normal. Legit I make friends in elevators, random semi-famous people invite me into their homes to see a piece of art we talked about at a bar (I didn’t know they were famous, they were just cool to talk to), I’m the kind of person who knows a guy who knows a guy for almost anything.

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Kommodus-_-@reddit

Culturally Americans are more friendly, it’s the norm. So it’s easier to make friends. Europeans seem to mind their business more.

I lived in Japan for 10 years. Everyone was friendly and respectful, but that small talk wasn’t there. Plus somewhat of a language barrier.

Easier to make friends anywhere if you’re social.

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Snarleey@reddit

If you sit down at a bar in the US and chime in on the conversation next to you, it would be unusual and awkward. That’s not considered socially acceptable here.

But when you sit down at any bar in Europe, you’re automatically welcomed into the group conversation taking place between the bartender and everyone seated at the bar.

It might be difficult to make friends abroad if you don’t speak the language or especially if you don’t even make an effort to try.

It also may be made difficult to make friends if you’re traveling with a group of friends.

I went alone and spoke the language and made many lifelong friendships.

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btt_lckr@reddit

I think some of it comes down to language. I don’t speak European so of course it’s harder to make friends in Europe.

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FallenReaper360@reddit

Hell yeah mate. American who studied in Europe two summers ago but now lives in Japan again after graduation. So far the easiest country to make friends. Like someone else said, not just friendly acquaintances, but folks who are always down to hangout and follow through with plans or make plans. Europe was not so bad, but in Japan? Holy hell, gotta book an appointment with anyone weeks to months in advance lol

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SunsetGrind@reddit

Been in the UK 6 years now. This is very true. Brits are very reserved/introverted. The vast majority of friends we've made are immigrants and poc.

I think it's very telling that my best friend here is another American lol And shared culture has little to do with it. I've met and chatted with brits with far better chemistry and yet still haven't made it past acquaintance zone and the occasional invite.

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hojobywyndham@reddit

I was in Paris last year and this girl and her friends started chatting with my buddy and I when they heard our accents while out for drinks one night. I was shocked because everyone kept telling me Parisians are super rude, etc. They couldn't have been nicer. Then they invited us to play billiards somewhere else with them, but it wad getting very late and we had to be up early. "We'd love to but we can't" was not an acceptable answer and she started going off on us about how Americans are fake nice and we should just say we don't want to go if we don't want to 😂.

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Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit

I don’t necessarily think so. I think the ability to make friends depends entirely on the personality of the person. I was in Europe for 5 days and made several friends there in that time.

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Pemminpro@reddit

Yes kinda,

been to both Europe and Australia. Its harder to break the ice with Europeans(also depends on specific country) but once you are friends you are life long friends(same with the aussys).

In US its easier to make casual acquaintances but making true friends is still hard because people have existing social circles.

My anecdotal take

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Additional_System_30@reddit

Dane in US here. No, it’s not true - Americans just forget that in the us they have a home field advantage

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dwfmba@reddit

None of the people believing this have lived in Manhattan, which last I checked was in America.

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sadgirlintheworld@reddit

It depends on your definition of friend.

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Calor777@reddit

I would say this is generally true of western/central Europe, though I found it fairly easy to connect with Italians and Dutch, but maybe it was just the circles I was in. I wasn't often chatting with complete strangers, and I usually had some sort of connection that made conversation somewhat natural.

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wallus13@reddit

Spend a little time in Euro subs and it won't take long to realize many of them are complete assholes.

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Hikinghawk@reddit

The only strangers I ever had a random conversation with or a round of beers or ended up hanging out with later in the trip when I visit Europe are other Americans, Canadians, or Australians.

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Uber_Reaktor@reddit

Living in the Netherlands it feels pretty country dependent. Here, absolutely harder. To give it a blanket description, they tend to be pretty clique-y. Breaking into an existing group is difficult.

When I was in Italy for a short bit though, felt like a world of difference. Far more open to small talk.

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StatementOwn4896@reddit

I’ll say it’s harder to make friends for the most part, but it was wayyyyy easier to flirt and date in Europe. I just felt like European women, in general, (and I dated French, Germans, Italians, and a few other nationalities) know what they want and they aren’t afraid to go get it. They don’t play this whole cat and mouse game or play hard to get. Idk I guess I vibed with that

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jtbeith@reddit

After reading this thread, I wonder how Europeans ask each other out on dates.

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NegotiationStatus727@reddit

It is harder to form a superficial bond with Europeans. It is easier to form a deep bond though.

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MediocreSoftware5438@reddit

Souther european here, we are so friendly, like latinos

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RhizobiaPhobia@reddit

Anecdotally, it is absolutely true for me. I've been to Europe multiple times, and times where I thought we were making a connection like I'd get here it just wasn't the case for them. Funny enough, some of my favorite people I met in Europe were Australians. They are literally my favorite Westerners. Just the perfect amount of down to Earth, trashy, sociable, and easy to talk to.

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semisubterranean@reddit

I'm an American who has lived in Austria, Poland and Ukraine and visited most of the rest of the continent. In my experience, Americans are more friendly. That can be easily misinterpreted as being friends.

When I was in Ukraine, one of my coworkers pointed out that Americans may say "friend" when we mean something closer to "acquaintance" or "colleague" whereas those terms are clearly separate in their language and way of thinking. When they call someone a "friend," it's a ride-or-die relationship.

I think American/Australian/Canadian/Kiwi friendliness certainly makes it easier to find true friends, but mostly we end up with larger circles of friendly acquaintances. They are great for a party or conversation, but may not be there when you are truly in need. When it comes down to who will actually help you pack a moving truck or help you bathe if you have multiple fractured bones or help you plan your father's funeral, I think we probably have a similar number of what we Americans call "best friends."

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eddieSullivan@reddit

I'm going to echo the "it depends on where" comments, because that was my experience 100%. Maybe it's because I came from cold, cruel, Boston, but when I visited southern Italy I was blown away by how open and friendly the people were, especially once they learned I could speak their language a little bit. North of Rome, it was a little more challenging, and Rome itself was very mixed but still friendlier than Boston, and I still keep in touch with friends I met there many years ago.

I did encounter some German and Dutch travelers that enjoyed telling me how much they disliked America, but I don't assume they represent those countries' entire cultures (and had more to do with the recent political environment than cultural differences anyway).

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BakedBrie1993@reddit

I mean.... this is impossible to judge because both are massive with many different cultures. The US is basically 50+ countries, full of every type of community imaginable.

It really depends on where you live. Do you live by people who are curious or skeptical of others? You can find both types most places.

I have never had trouble making friends living in the US or Europe, but that is because I am relatively gregarious, frequent artistic spaces, and make an effort to build and maintain friendships.

I've lived in 4 countries, 5 states, traveled to many more states and countries. I hands down had the easiest time making friends living in New Orleans.

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Forlorn_Cyborg@reddit

I think it varies across the US. I found England to be more friendly than my region. Also experienced 0 road rage tho I’m sure it exists.

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Mallthus2@reddit

I don’t actually find this to be true. Certainly, it’s easier for native English speakers to make friends in other countries where English is the dominant language, but that’s really about it. I’m American, but also speak Spanish and German and have had little trouble creating casual friendships in Germany, Austria, Spain, and Mexico.

As for deep and meaningful friendships, those are hard everywhere.

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

It depends where you land. Different regions and cities have different cultures. Also, it depends on whether or not you buy into the idea that we're all being fake. There are definitely people who will extend a hand and invite new people out. There are people who are open to new friendships as adults. And there are people who are not.

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No-Koala1918@reddit

Not if you're open, outgoing, and treat the social nicotine of foreign countries with respect.

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commonllama87@reddit

Not true I easily made friends in Europe and they seem more genuine than the US

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cjdstreet@reddit

Ah that country of europe

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zeroabe@reddit

Finns don’t speak to strangers. They live alone and keep to themselves until they mate, which I assume only happens if they’re accidentally having a sauna together. /s

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Florginian@reddit

Felifromgermany has a couple videos on this. She is a German-US dual citizen who grew up in Germany and moved to the US. She speaks about how isolating Germany can feel sometimes, while Americans are much friendlier.

She does also say that American do tend to engage in the fake-nice attitude while in Germany if someone is being nice, it's almost always genuine.

She also acknowledged that these are big generalizations, so take that how you will.

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OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit

What is “fake-nice” attitude specifically?

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ITaggie@reddit

When you're nice to strangers, apparently

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Vyckerz@reddit

She has a great channel. I watched her a lot a few years ago but haven't been watching for a bit, will have to check back in on her.

I don't speak German but used to work for a large German company and got to know a lot of the executives from Germany so I am interested in the culture and German language. The company offered German language classes to employees, but they ended up shutting down the division I worked at before I could start and then I never pursued it after that.

I am not sure if it was regional or just individual differences but the German executives were very formal usually and a bit rigid. But a few of them were different, very friendly and willing to joke around and talk a bit outside of work topics. This one executive was really cool and we would chat a bit sometimes. I had a motorcycle and he was into bikes so we would chat about that. He even had a BMW motorcycle shipped from Germany to our plant in the US.

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ruinrunner@reddit

I’m convinced Europeans think it’s fake because they can’t fathom that someone would be nice for no reason. And sure, maybe it’s not always a “deep” conversation, it’s usually lighthearted, but we do mean it!

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Vivid_Flamingo1459@reddit

I think you're right. I remember seeing a video of a Russian woman who went to college in the US walking home in her cap and gown and people were honking and cheering and yelling congrats for her as they drove by, and she was saying that would NEVER happen back home.

Her Russian followers commenting on how fake it was, vs the Americans were just...no, we just like to be happy for people, even strangers.

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beads-and-things@reddit

After we got married my husband and I had some pictures taken around the city we lived near. Many people we walked past congratulated us and complemented my dress. It was very sweet and seemed extremely genuine.

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DLTMIAR@reddit

You all are making friends while visiting other countries?

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GSilky@reddit

My European customers say this all the time. They revel in smalltalk with strangers.

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GhostOfJamesStrang@reddit

Visiting =/= Living in and Building a Life.

I have found it easier to make close friends in the US just due to cultural understanding, but equally easy to make friends everywhere I have lived.

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Hawk13424@reddit

I did not. I’ve lived in two European countries and now the US. Was much easier for me in the US (South).

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throwaway09234023322@reddit

Tbh, people from the south are exceptionally talkative with strangers based on the few states I have lived in.

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SparkSignals@reddit

True. We are.

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SparkSignals@reddit

In my experience yes.

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Tabitheriel@reddit

It's easy to make friends in any country, as long as you are not an asshole. Go to the Barmy Badger hostel in London, and get drunk with the Aussies. Go to the Heart of Gold Hostel in Berlin, and make friends at the bar. Go to Prague and flirt with the bartender, or sing at Karaoke Night at the Wombats hostel in Munich. Visit Paris, hang out at the Generator hostel bar and dance, talk to people. If you are nice, you meet nice people. Just learn some German/French, at least a few phrases like hello, please, thank you and "do you speak English"?I always meet fun people in every city. Don't believe the bullshit.

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Norwester77@reddit

I lived in Germany for four months back in 2008 and made quite a few pretty close friends there, but (1) it was mostly people who worked at the same institute where I was studying, and (2) I’m kind of a weird American who felt like I fit in better over there.

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Ok-Equivalent8260@reddit

I’ve been to Europe many times and have never tried to make friends while traveling lol

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netsurf916@reddit

Europeans really keep to themselves, but are happy to chat if you engage -- my experience at least. To answer your question, I still have zero friends 🙂

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Bastyra2016@reddit

It’s not a fair comparison if you haven’t tried to live in Europe . When you are traveling in Europe you are likely with other travelers who are away from their daily routine. So if you are hiking in the Dolomites or standing in line at the Louvre you are all in the happy vacation mindset even with people who live in the city. I have definitely chatted with folks and even joined some for a later meal. I get basically the same vibe if I’m in one of the US National Parks. Easy to meet people and share a brief moment-I’ve never stayed in touch with anyone I met traveling past the trip though.

Contrast this with your basic Tuesday at the DMV or the grocery store. I’m generally not in the “let’s chat up these poor folks stuck here with me to find friends”. I think the situation matters.

Americans are definitely seen as chatty and outgoing But if you read some of the country specific subreddits you see that sometimes they struggle to find a footing after relocating. I’d say the same can be true when someone moves to the US if there is a huge language gap. Culturally the US is used to interacting with people from other countries-I can’t say if it is easier for them to make friends here than in Europe or Australia since I was born in the US

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paellapup@reddit

Yeah coming back to the US after living in Spain I was almost irritated by how over friendly strangers can be (neighbors, servers, store owners). Western Europe and the US feel like polar opposites in that way. Europeans are really reserved and stick to their established social groups unless you find a commonality with them like going to the same school.

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MetalEnthusiast83@reddit

Europe is way too big for this to make any sense.

It's easy to make friends in Ireland, but Scandinavians tend to be a bit distant. There's tons of different cultures at play here.

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SkiingAway@reddit

As a foreigner on a vacation you are generally not really living the same sort of life as the locals and may not be interacting with many people at all besides those also on vacation and traveling.

How easy you find it to get along with them socially in that temporary setting doesn't necessarily have much to do with how easy it will be to make real friends if you lived there.

Now, with that said - I've made a few friends over there in my travels. But half the times I've been over there it's been for goth/industrial/metal music events (+ festivals) and that's a very unique environment.

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humanofearth-notai@reddit

Maybe, I get weird looks from my European colleagues when we travel together, but if someone stares at me or looks at me two many times. I'm going to talk to them. I have a tendency to talk when nervous, but I've made a few friends that way. I once got to go see California condors eat because I spoke to the woman who bumped into me. 😁

I will say, my European colleagues seem less funny about houseguests at the last minute. My US colleagues need 5-7 business days to process.

I strongly suspect ease depends on the person's existing social ability and understanding of social norms.

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Calm-Interest4284@reddit

Omg i friend cousin was in Idaho. She said how if you look at someone for couple of seconds they will start talking to you. She was so shocked by that haha. I cant even go to America then, i stare at people sometimes.

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Cardinal101@reddit

Curious about the condors, did the lady you bumped into have binoculars, or what was the scenario?

I had a similar experience in a national park where I had chit chatted with a lady at a roadside pullout earlier in the day, and she invited us to join her later in the evening for stargazing. We got to see Saturn’s rings and several moons around Jupiter!

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ContraianD@reddit

In major cities... sometimes... in secondary cities it's regionally hit & miss. I've never been anywhere in Europe or Africa with people as rude as Cleveland.

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InfluenceTrue4121@reddit

Americans think they are friends about fifteen minutes after meeting someone, so definitely yes.

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claudiatiedemann@reddit

I’m an American who has lived in Germany, Austria, and Russia. In Russia people were very curious about Americans and would come up to me to talk and ask me questions. I found it relatively easy to make friends. In Germany and Austria people were more reserved and most of my friends ended up being other foreigners, though broadly speaking I found Austrians less reserved than Germans.

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NewClock8197@reddit

Yes.

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Pyroechidna1@reddit

Yes. It takes years of work to cultivate real friendships with your German friends. Trying to get them to come out and do activities with you is not easy at all. Also, don’t expect to ever go inside their house or apartment.

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Haboob_AZ@reddit

I guess it depends. On my travels to Europe, specifically England, I've been able to make a few friends - but they're all centered around football and Arsenal.

Outside of that, the only other friendly interaction we had was in Eindhoven with a restaurant owner that was super friendly and welcomed us back any time, talked football with us (because again, we were primarily there for a match).

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JolyonWagg99@reddit

Generally speaking it’s easier to make friends in the US. I lived in Germany with a German woman and so I had “friends” right out of the box, so to speak. However, of those couple dozen people, only two or three became real friends. I’m still friends with those few but the others are basically no longer in my life.

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OnlyKey5675@reddit

In my opinion its easier to make friends in cities where workers on avg live close to their job. This applies to the US and Europe.

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meowmix778@reddit

I've traveled to Europe a good handful of times (Germany, Switzerland, Czechia, Denmark, Finland, UK, France, Portugal) and I think it depends on the country more than anything if you'll have luck chatting with a stranger. The thing I will say, is if you do end up conversing with a local (in my experience anyway) you tend to get less opportunity to have a full blown conversation.

I met a guy at the gas pump this morning who saw a bumper sticker on my car and that lead to a 15-minute conversation with a stranger. That would never happen in Europe in my experience.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

There is a certain sort of casual, genuinely friendly conversation that can happen between strangers in the US where they know they will never meet again but still will get pretty deep into things. It seems to blow European minds.

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meowmix778@reddit

Those deep conversations were my favorite part about parties in college. I could be having a 1am conversation about all my deepest fears and favorite memories with a goddamn stranger.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

Oh yeah, they were amazing.

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SanchosaurusRex@reddit

Europeans are often polite. Youre more likely to encounter Americans who will act like theyre an old friend during a casual encounter.

Not all Americans, but I think there’s more of a cultural disposition to being warmer during social interactions.

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emotions1026@reddit

I couldn’t imagine making friends in Europe to be honest. I barely saw people speaking to each other during my 2 trips there (France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria).

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Impedimentita@reddit

It depends on local culture. You’re more likely to make friends in Chicago vs. San Francisco, and you’re more likely to make friends in Ireland vs. Germany.

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-Copenhagen@reddit

No.

But it is easier to make acquaintances in the US than it is in most places in Europe.

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Informal_Persimmon7@reddit

People were friendly in Spain if that helps.

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abstractraj@reddit

Not certain about Australians in general, but I definitely had very good luck with the Australian ladies. Dated two while I lived in NYC and hooked up with one when visiting Australia. They’re very direct when interested

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MarkNutt25@reddit

That really depends on the country. In my experience, Italian and Portuguese people are pretty outgoing, maybe not as outgoing as Americans, but I doubt it would be hard to make friends in either country.

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CharlieBearns@reddit

I live in Oregon now, but I lived in Oslo for a couple of years. Oslo and Oregon are both super friendly places! But I also lived in Seattle, WA for a bit, and Seattle seemed super unfriendly.... So I guess it just depends on where you are?

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jguerrer@reddit

Oh absolutely. We are really friendly with everyone. Europeans (particularly Germans) seem really standoffish in comparison.

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yarn_b@reddit

I made friends living in Spain, but I attribute to that to being in college and being fluent in the language. I had 1 friend in college in the US, probably 5-6 friends in college in Spain, and 1 friend in law school in the US. I’m not sure how I would have fared in Spain outside of an academic environment, but I found everyone to be quite open to friendship.

For me it seemed to be the difference between being kind vs. being nice. Americans are more willing to engage in superficial pleasantries that might be confused with being friendly/an actual friend when in reality it’s just ingrained politeness. My interactions with Spanish people were initially more direct but what did occur struck me as actual friend interactions.

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Bremerlo@reddit

I lived in Europe for a bit and my friends tended to be other Americans also living in Europe. We would just find one another in coffee shops or at museums and suddenly we’re friends now

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notyogrannysgrandkid@reddit

Worldwide, rural people tend to be more outgoing and friendly than people in cities. When Americans travel to Europe, they often visit cities, since that’s where most of the cultural attractions are. So a contrast that was also be observed by traveling from the suburbs to NYC, LA, or Chicago, is ascribed to being in Europe rather than simply being in a dense city.

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Alone_Bet_1108@reddit

Europe is a huge, widely disparate place with at least 44 countries / sovereign states plus several transcontinental nations. You cannot possibly generalize when it comes to friendliness or not.

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sorry_con_excuse_me@reddit

Yeah, I’ve lived in and been to events in Germany and Spain. It’s very easy to strike up convos/hang with strangers in Spain.

But even in a social environment in Germany, people are a bit standoffish/too cool for school unless you are a friend of a friend.

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Alone_Bet_1108@reddit

Exactly. Two wildly different countries.

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Jim_E_Rose@reddit

Most of us Americans think of the EU as being the equivalent of the U.S. in those terms

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Alone_Bet_1108@reddit

Yeah, not good. It's unsurprising their foreign policy is such a mess.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

I'd say it depends on where you are. The part of Europe I've spent the most time in, by a lot, is the Balkans, and people are extremely friendly there. I speak Bulgarian (not at a native level, if you're familiar with the CEFR scale, I'm at about a B2) and people are always extremely amazed and excited to meet a non-native speaker. I've been invited to people's homes just randomly a number of times.

Even in places where speaking a Slavic language didn't help, people have been very welcoming. For instance, when I went to Romania, the Romanian girl sitting next to me on the bus struck up a conversation and we ended up hanging out in Bucharest upon arrival.

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Charlesinrichmond@reddit

Far easier to make friends in US, it's just a friendlier more open culture.

Not that it's impossible to make friends in Europe by any means, and country VERY much matters here. You can't really judge Europe as a whole by this

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CrankyOperator@reddit

I've only been to Norway, Sweden and Denmark. Norway, LOL, I always heard a stereotype that they were very quiet and passive people. It very much felt that way. I'm not boisterous for an American and very reserved. I must have come off like a pro wrestler cutting a promo every time I spoke I feel like. I had a friend there who was more outgoing, and they were more similar to us. Their SO, I stayed with these people for 2 weeks, barely spoke the whole time. Very nice, but very reserved.

Denmark, much more talkative people in my short time there. Much more outgoing, but still not like a lot of the US. Still very pleasant.

Sweden felt in the middle, but I didn't spend a lot of time there.

I'll be in Ireland/UK/France this summer, we'll see.

To be clear- I'm from a major US city, BORN AND RAISED. I don't really talk to random people and in the US I likely come off cold (I have family in the South and know I do, they only like me because they know I'm cool lol.)

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Weird-Bluebird-132@reddit

When I visit Europe, I'm either not visiting anyone, or visiting people that I'm already friends with, so it's really something that I can answer in that context.

However I did used to live in Germany, and had no problem making real friends. Just because you're not getting small talk on the street (thank goodness!) doesn't mean that people aren't more open in social situations, or the the workplace, etc. And if my "thank goodness" wasn't an obvious indicator, I'm largely introverted, and didn't really have problems.

Maybe I define "friends" differently than you do, though. Just because someone nods to me and says "hello" to me on a daily basis doesn't make them my friend.

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No-Pickle-8200@reddit

I made friends really easily in London, but I’m also from the Northeast, and I think London has some cultural similarities to the cities in the Northeast like Boston and New York.

I’ve been to some countries where people were warm and friendly, and others where people thought smiling was weird. It depends on the cultural mix.

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7thAndGreenhill@reddit

I visited Finland and Estonia several times. Just speaking English would often cause random people to approach. But usually, they were wondering why I chose to visit their country and not somewhere else.

I was visiting friends and not doing tourist stuff. But I was also only there for brief stays each time. So, I can't say if I would have made friends or if it was just casual conversation. But I definitely found both the Finns and Estonians to be warm and hospitable.

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mtcwby@reddit

It feels like talking to strangers is a norm here. Just spent a couple of hours at our local cheese shop that serves beer and wine as well. They have communal tables and we spent the entire time talking to folks we had never met before. And a month ago we did the same thing and had the same experience. Very enjoyable and normal here.

I can't say I've ever spent enough time in Europe and the UK to consider making friends but in general people seem to be far less inclined to talk to strangers. As for Australians, it feels like every time I'm in Europe I end up in a bar talking to Australians and having fun. My guess is their inclination to talk to strangers is closer to the US in that regard.

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AndrastesDimples@reddit

I lived in Spain for few years. I actually found it easier to make friends in Spain tbh. I don’t think it’s true for all of Europe though. I have always had trouble in the US.

I actually miss living in Spain because I struggle to connect with people now that I’m back in the US. I feel really disconnected from everyone.

Btw your question post has Australia in it - I spent a few years in Australia growing up and I actually had felt like it had been easier to make friends in Australia.

I think maybe I’m not very good at being American even though I’m from here.

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tcrhs@reddit

I visited Europe on vacation. It wasn’t really enough time to make friends.

I’ve always found it easy to make friends in America. I have a circle of lifelong friends.

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dontforgettowriteme@reddit

Idk. I've been to a few European countries and I always wind up having conversations with and laughing with the local people. Granted, these are usually tourism-adjacent people so take that with a grain of salt.

Happened the most in Ireland and England, take that for what you will. But I had no problems in Paris, either.

I think if by "easier to make friends," you mean it's easier to have a conversation, maybe. But, people speak to me first in these other places, too. I think it just really depends.

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LeafyWolf@reddit

I've found it quite easy to make acquaintances in Europe. The thing is.. Making real friends is hard everywhere. The only durable friendships I've made in my adult life have been roommates, classmates, and specific situations where both parties are looking for friendship (Meetup, for example). Colleagues, bar acquaintances, even teammates on pickup sports are all very transitory. Sure, you can find a friendly person in America to hang out on a given afternoon, but the likelihood that you even remember their name 6 months later is very low. And the older you get, the less likely to get sticky friends wherever you are.

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Impossible_Virus@reddit

I found Romanians and Bulgarians friendly and easy to talk to. Seems like they appreciated the chance to practice their English. At least from my experience

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Pinwurm@reddit

If there's bar seating, I find it's very easy to strike conversations and make friends almost anywhere. I've been to around 30 countries.

However, me and my wife are fairly social people. And I realize that not everyone connects over a drink.

I found Paris to be a lot kinder & friendlier than people on Reddit would have you believe. The world has been gaslighting us on the French. People have gone out their way to try to get to know us, share their culture & local favorites with us, buy us food & drink, etc. Honestly some of the most humbling experiences of my life.

Otherwise, Paris felt like a big city, like NYC or London. I got the sense that the only people that find Parisians 'rude' are folks that don't travel to any major city often. Or perhaps, because I'm a Boston guy, my standards are just fucked up. Had a blast, 10/10, would recommend.

Despite it all being surface level, there are indeed different degrees of hospitality/warmth from culture to culture, country to country. Yes, Americans have higher standards for warmth & hospitality towards in general than Europeans. But it's certainly not hard. Also, we have nothing on Latin Americans.

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Fae-SailorStupider@reddit

I spent several weeks in Ireland, the men all loved me, the women wouldn't even look at me. So I wouldnt say I made any "friends", but I always had people to talk to.

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Curmudgy@reddit

It’s telling how many comments are from Americans who spent a significant amount of time living in Europe, as opposed to merely visiting (which is the OP’s word).

Judging by discussions on Reddit, I’m in the minority about visiting. When we’ve traveled overseas, it’s never been with the idea of meeting or making new friends, so I can’t answer whether it’s easier. It’s simply something I’d never do.

With one exception, when our gaydar kicked in for a tourist from a third country, who happened to be another techie on the verge of migrating to the US. So with all three of us being gay, techies, and not in our native country, that made it easier. And that was so long ago, even being familiar with email was so unusual it set us apart.

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BurritoDespot@reddit

Not many people are making genuine friends on a “visit.”

If you ask people who have lived there, the answer would generally be yes.

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ruinrunner@reddit

Lol go on any forum about anyone moving to Europe. Europe you can live in for decades and still be isolated.

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Megas_Matthaios@reddit

Yes. Americans are far friendlier.

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Tardislass@reddit

Very much so. Europeans are conditioned not to talk to strangers whereas Americans will usually chat to strangers in a line to pass the time. Most Europeans don’t move far from home and have set friendships from grammar school onwards. Rarely are new people that aren’t partners invited in. Even friendly Italian and Spanish will have their set groups.

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allmediocrevibes@reddit

Ive only visited Northwestern Europe and Australia, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt. Australians are in general much friendlier, which reminded me of Americans, in that aspect. Germans especially, were a bit distant. They will help you but dont expect a chat. No strangers started conversations while I was in Germany, although my command of the language needs work, I do understand and speak it. Quite a few Aussies chatted, if only briefly. Standing at the train platform, grabbing a beer, etc.

On an unrelated note, Japan was quite interesting. Ive never seen no foreigner signs. I am a giant white guy with long blond hair. I suspect I am a unique sight for most Japanese people. While they were more than happy to help me navigate the rail system, they wouldnt dare sit next to me on the train.

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Team503@reddit

Yes. I moved to Ireland from Texas. It's WAAAAAYYY easier. Americans are much more open and friendly than any other culture I've ever met, up to and including the Irish.

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Cheap_Coffee@reddit

I'm surprised at how many people describe the Germans as reserved.

When I worked in Germany we all ended the day promptly at 5 (due to union rules) and we all went to a nearby bierhalle. After a couple liters of beer the Germans were anything but reserved.

Needless to say, I was in Bavaria.

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kungpaochi@reddit

My experience is you can still just go and talk to people on the street outside bars / clubs / in smoking rooms the same way you would in America

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forestinpark@reddit

As a Balkan who lived in Western Europe and now USA, it is same.

Some westerne europeans can be reserved, Americans are bubbly, but in the end, hard to make friends with either one.

Different parts of USA can be easier, same as Germany and Portugal give off different vibes.

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ArkansasTravelier@reddit

What part of the US do you love the most and what part do you hate the most?

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forestinpark@reddit

Lived mostly on coasts: Boston/Ny, LA and Seattle. Spent some time in Chicago area. Traveled around a lot

Boston for people, I know lol. But they were direct, no BS. I moved to Boston after living in the west and people were breath of fresh air.

Americans are friendly and thats where it stops.

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ArkansasTravelier@reddit

I’ve never spent much or any time in any of those areas so I can’t speak for them! Chicago seems appealing to me though as far as major cities go.

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ehhhhhhwatevs@reddit

I was on a work trip in Belgium with a very loud, friendly, but LOUD coworker. We got a lot of nasty stares and comments from Belgians, and I was embarrassed. But there were also some kind people who were interested in chatting with us and some understanding folks who were supportive when I was obviously uncomfortable with the negative attention. It was interesting how many people thought it was ok to make really awful comments in French, like we couldn't figure out what they were saying. We had both studied French in high school and could understand more than we could speak.

She was the one who ended up making friends and getting invited to do things with locals. So I really think it has more to do with your comfort level with making new friends and your willingness to face rejection than where you go.

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revengeappendage@reddit

Yes and no.

I lived in Spain, and was in college, with a lot of international student so that’s a bit different.

I was also a 19 year old cute girl, lol.

But yea. Lots of people would approach me and talk to me, and it was easy to make friends for the day or interact with strangers.

It does probably depend on country and situation tho. P

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Sensitive-Chemical83@reddit

Yes. Europeans are very reserved compared to Americans. Even in "mean" cities like NYC people are much friendlier than in like Munich or Zurich or Paris.

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Im-a-sim@reddit

When I studied abroad in Europe I only made friends with other international students (including other Europeans), I spent a month in Paris and towards the end of it I was able to be recognized by the person at the cafe I went to daily. I’m black and I did have a couple of black women come up to me, but I wasn’t fluent in French so the conversation didn’t go far so maybe we would’ve become friends if I was fluent.

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No_Entertainment1931@reddit

European living in the US and Asia now, yes, it’s far easier to make actual friends in America

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LIL_V_ONTHESCENE@reddit

Really depends on the specific country in Europe. I've lived in the Balkans for a few months and people are very friendly and chatty even if they don't know much English, but Germans, Scandinavians, Dutch, etc are definitely more standoffish. Of course Americans aren't the same across the country either, people from New York or Boston are much more direct than people from Mississippi.

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Physical-Bus6025@reddit

yes

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Antioch666@reddit

I'd say it is easier to make acquaintances and superficial friends in the US and also southern Europe as they are more similar to the US in that regard. In Germany and especially the Nordics the "entry bar" is a lot higher, but once you pass you have VERY good friends that will have your back through thick and thin.

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silversurf1234567890@reddit

Europeans come across very arrogant and elitist.

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Skete_5959@reddit

Generally. My experience tells me that whatever the “normal” number of interactions with someone is to become friendly is doubled when in Europe. So if I were to be on friendly terms with say, a coworker or barista in say 5 interactions at home, I’d expect the same level of familiarity only after 10 in Europe.

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huazzy@reddit

I guess it depends on the city/country.

I've been going to the same pub in my Swiss city for 10+ years. It's gotten to the point where as soon as I walk in the bartender has already poured out the pint I usually order.

Has he ever asked for my name or tried to make any other connections other than pouring me the pint?

Nope.

I lived above a bar for 1 year in a city in New Jersey. In a few months every bouncer, bartender and even the kitchen staff knew me by my first name and likewise.

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silversurf1234567890@reddit

Yes

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Carinyosa99@reddit

I think Americans and Aussies are a lot more open people while many Europeans are a little more closed off and guarded. You also see the same issues in the Far East.

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Penguin_Life_Now@reddit

Keep mind that the US is not all the same, and some regions are known for being wary if strangers, take West Virginia and Maine for example. While other regions have a reputation for being more welcoming and open.

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pisowiec@reddit

It's easier to talk to people in the US as a foreigner.

But it's easier to make friends in Europe as a foreigner as long as you speak the language of the country.

Of course, I'm a European so a huge racial bias is involved.

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pinniped90@reddit

I made lots of good friends when I lived in the UK.

Americans make more small talk but you can make good friends in both places.

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BizarroMax@reddit

I’ve only been to London and found it rather easy to talk to people. I was told London is rude and impersonal but it seemed pleasant to me.

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Remote_Ocelot9600@reddit

I have been across Europe, Asia and Africa. Along with the states.

Yes, states are more friendly. Except for women. Asian women are more friendly to foreigners, but not looking to be friends.

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Deep-Novel-1851@reddit

Depends on how you define friend. I find it easier to start conversations with strangers in America. It’s normal to do so.

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DasArtmab@reddit

It’s part of the culture in the states. Probably has something to do with being a nation of immigrants

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Empty_Goat_5970@reddit

I have visited countries in Europe, Asia, and South America and the only people who I clicked with and became friends with were from the somewhere in the UK. I’m sure commonly language helps but made friends while visiting UK and even in other countries got along with them really well. Still much easier in US.

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StripedSocksMan@reddit

I’ve lived in Germany, Italy, Spain and the UK and say it’s far easier to make friends in the US. I’ve been in the UK now for just over 5.5 years and don’t have any real friends, only acquaintances.

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Raddatatta@reddit

It's a bit tough to say because when I went to Europe I did trips with other people also on vacation. So it's not really representative of what it's like to make friends in Europe, but the other people also on vacation were mostly friendly and I made some short term friends while we were there together, but we didn't keep in touch.

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CaptainAwesome06@reddit

I'm not looking to make friends while vacationing but I do enjoy talking to people.

When I'm travelling, vacationing Germans often seem really outgoing. Australians are also friendly. British people seem friendly but like to make subtle jabs at your expense like they think we can't tell or something.

I don't really judge the locals since they are likely just doing their own thing and can't be bothered by tourists. I've lived in a tourist city before. You don't want to deal with the tourists.

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Donald_J_Duck65@reddit

I live in the US. It's a running joke in my family that wherever I go random purple just walk up to me and start talking. This was even true with my time in Europe.

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as1126@reddit

Always watch from random purples.

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Donald_J_Duck65@reddit

Like people eaters?

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KJHagen@reddit

I used to spend about 3 months every year in Europe for work. That was enough time to make friends. Having said that, I think it’s a little easier to make friends in the US than in Europe.

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Wak3upHicks@reddit

Nah, I'm equally awful at it anywhere

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JonathanStrange1984@reddit

No.

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securityburger@reddit

Depends where in Europe. Some of my closest friends and my most recent girlfriend are Italian. Spent about 6 months in Rome and yall are way more chill and easier to talk to compared to Americans. Never made friends so fast over here. Would it be the same in Scandinavia or Germany? Probably not, but that’s just because they have a reputation

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