Everyone wants a cute BPD sanrio gamer goth girl who is obsessed with them and wants to fuck their be their fuckdoll until they actually get one.
The first month, maybe first few months are amazing. Then things get dark, and your life is narrowly ruined. You'll carry trauma and a distrust that you never knew existed.
The male version is the lead singer or guitarist of an underground band who haven't been discovered yet but are gonna make it any day now. You watch his fingers dance and make that guitar scream and you know those fingers can do the same to you...
But he can never keep a regular job, he falls into depression over his lack of accolades or success, locks himself in a room working on his art for months on end while you work and pay all the bills and he puts you down in front of his friends.
But the sex.... it's amazing....
I mean, hypothetically

Flashback to preparing to have a circular 3 hour conversation trying to convince my ex I wasn't pulling away just because I can't message her while I'm working
Theyâre physically addicted to good times and know that extremely bad times make the good times taste better. They eat shit so that steak is transcendent.
It works until they decide that meds and therapy already did their job so they don't need them anymore and then the manic states hit'em like a train and shit goes hard pretty quickly
typical "i can fix her" mentality until they actually experience their so called fantasy. but not like telling them not to be stupid will actually change anything
My experiences weren't like that at all. A lot of these girls don't seem broken to begin with, because they've gotten very good at masking all of their problems and mental illness. This archetype of person desires attention and validation above all else and they know exactly how to get it. They want to be loved, desired, and obsessed over like a conquest. Once they get it, it's never enough and they move on to the next one.
Now once you gain some experience and know what signs to look out for, or start trusting in certain stereotypes a bit more, it should get a little easier to spot these types before they ruin your life.
Imo you're both kind of right. Dated a girl with BPD who gave me a distrust and trauma I never knew existed. This made me better at watching out for people like that tin the future and made me much stronger. I had to become stronger to leave.
Since then, I came across girls with BPD, and quickly avoided them. I recognised the signs, they didn't even have to tell me.
Accurate lol. A few months back, i hung out with a girl that i had been texting from hinge. After the first hang out session, i just point blank asked if she had BPD after an entire night of red flags during conversation. She said yes. I politely told her i wish her the best and it wasn't going to work. I was actually very proud of my character development because she was very attractive and pretty fun to talk to. 5 years ago id have definitely ignored my gut instinct. Look at me making non self-destructive decisions :D
Happened to me years back. Started off like it's the best thing that happened to me. I to this day instinctually twitch when someone out of my vision touches me even if it's someone close.
Yeah. Same here brother. Even though she's dead now, I'm still looking over my shoulder when I end up in her city. Grippy socks, grippy box tho good lord.
Same, I still overexplain myself in anticipation of a blowup. Still have lasting trauma. Still flinch when partners raise their hands. Still twitch when someone touches. Still say "I'm just going to the toilet" whenever I go to the bathroom because I'm afraid of them blowing up at me for not telling them.
As someone who dated at least two women with BPD this is insanely real. The latest is just as described. First few months were incredible. The lovebombing is crazy. I felt as if she was the one, but if I did anything without telling her, shit went downhill fast. It started to drain me really, really quickly. I'm not exactly communicative, especially when I am angry and I tend to shut myself off, which to someone with BPD and attachment issues feels like death.
At a specific point I started to actually research BPD and communication techniques but it was too late and I eventually lashed out at her with all I was feeling and it ended.
Would I do it again? Absolutely.
Yeah, was in a relationship with someone with BPD for 5 years, eventually became abusive. Relationship ended almost 2 years ago and the whole thing absolutely trashed my mental health.
Not worth
I had one about twenty years ago. A few months into the relationship, her therapist pulled me aside and told me she was concerned because my girl had visions of harming people and needed me to be aware of that for my safety and the safety of others. When I broke it off with her, she tried to stab me to death with a kitchen knife.
I had more than one, because I don't learn lessons easily, and one of them told me that all of her ex boyfriends raped her. I don't know why that wasn't a red flag to me at the time, or why it came as a surprise when I heard word she said the same thing about me after we broke up, which was because she was cheating on me.
Your story is much worse.
We need to spread awareness for the youth especially in this era of hot goth baddies.
I have a ex with later in life BPD sheâll call 40 times just to talk things out . Itâs years after the break up so I listen to her and let her speak her mind/vent as long as she promises to keep up with her medication and therapy sessions .
I don't think you really know anything at all. 'hearing voices' and other such hallucinations is not a daily life sort of thing for people with bpd, it can happen when extremely stressed or upset or going through something emotionally difficult :3 thank you for acting as if you know anything at all, and tysmm for being EXTRA weird for using another account to spam reply to me.
Oh shit thats why i couldnt find my comments, thought that was odd. The statistics on hallucinations in bpd are easy to look up at this point. Youre the only person with bpd I've talked to about this that doesnt have auditory hallucinations. Or at the very least the only one who says they dont have them. It is being discovered that auditory hallucinations are much more common with bpd than previously believed.
they were easy to look up, you're right! BPD is not associated with hallucinations during episodes, even severe ones. what does occur is distressing intrusive voices and imagery that are known to be internal.
bipolar, especially BP-I *IS* associated with manic hallucinations. physical reality-testing is maintained with BPD; it's the internal world where the distortion happens.
Yeah not true. It can be easily. Wife just had bipolar removed as a diagnosis. Still has TRUE manic episodes. Every rando wants to act like an expert but even the experts disagree with each other and dsm is ever changing.
.......TRUE manic episodes is not a part of a bpd criteria and any actual doctor that specializes in bpd knows that. :) The DSM is not ever changing, it has had the same criteria for a long time and it is not ever mania <3
Actually, the last actual change to the bpd DSM criteria was in 1994 :) which added 'psychotic-like' symptoms. In 2022, the dsm itself was updated but the criteria for bpd wasnt changed :3 nice try. Mania is not a part of BPD and you can pretend all you like, it doesn't make it true. But I hope your wife finds the cause!
Youre just splitting hairs now lmao it was changed in 2022. The change not being about bpd doesnt mean the dsm isn't ever changing. All criteria being changed was never my focus, just yours in a strawman style effort to be contrarian. I understand you feel that mental health needs to be concrete but it isn't, especially with bpd, psychiatrists seriously either turn tail or bullshit their way through it.
....Bro... The criteria for bpd has not been changed until 1994... Which means no, the dsm for bpd is not 'ever-changing' and mania is NOT a part of the diagnosis and you can't just say it is simply because your wife has it lol. I trust the experts and my own bpd experience more than you.
I never said the dsm for bpd. I said the dsm is ever changing. A blanket and true statement that does not go into specifics. You haven't dealt with many experts then obviously. That being said the dsm has been updated many times throughout its iterations to improve upon false information within itself. There's no saying in the next dsm bpd isn't changed. The study of mental health is much less developed than other areas of health. Hell lobotomies were practiced for 40 years before we got a better understanding of how the brain works. Mental health diagnoses being one size fits all just makes it easier for professionals to label and dismiss clients. I cant say it is a part of it as much as you cant say it isn't.
I don't need it. For as much as I've studied her mental health and a large number of bpd havers after meeting her, navigating it is second nature now. All I ever have to do is say what im thinking and then it turns out her therapist said the same thing and us both saying the same thing without ever talking to each other gives her an epiphany. The crazier thing is shes a social worker who specializes in adult care. So in the end it takes 2 people saying to her what she says to clients. Side note and feel free to scroll on, but does god talk to you? No matter what both her therapist and i say nothing has gotten through to her that it isn't god talking(she literally has never even been to church let alone read from the bible so we dont get were the religiousness comes from)
Hello can you say broadly what is right and wrong in this thread I don't understand what BPD is anymore đ Sources on the internet doesn't explain well what it actually feels like to have it
Basically think of a really fluid, shallow and insecure sense of self, with severely amplified emotions. Any small thing can be a trigger and make you feel like some great injustice or conspiracy has taken place against you, and encourage you to act unhinged, psychotic, unhealthily etc. there is always a trigger. For bipolar, mood swings occur over long periods and for no discernible reason, for bpd you may have several crashouts a day, or none for a month, it depends, if there are no triggers, life goes on.
I just means she had episodes Iâm donât know all the terms I just try to be there for her the best I can give her patience and a person to talk to without judgement
Man with BPD here.
BPD often gets misdiagnosed as depression and/or PTSD in men, partly to do with stigma with mental health.
It also can develop in young adult and usually does due to historic factors, often to due with multiple incidents with things like betrayal, parental abuse and abandonment.
It can be treated with therapy, but treatment can be years of work and often relies on success both inside and outside of therapy, which is difficult as the biggest enemy to someone with BPD is said person with BPD.
yes, you can even inherit genes that make developing bpd a lot more likely
no, but you can treat it to the point where it isn't really a problem anymore. takes a lot of work though
Yeah I can't understand why anyone would want this. It's just daily psychological torture and walking on eggshells hoping you don't accidentally do something to set her off, and if you do... there's absolutely nothing you can do.
I guess some people are desperate enough to get laid that they're (initially) willing to put up with it, but it very rarely lasts long term.
Yeah real. For me I was 19 and hadn't dated anybody to that point, so when this girl comes into my life and says all these nice things about me, I was pretty desperate to hold onto her. That desperation kinda blinded me to how cruel and manipulative she was actually being, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure it out for myself. I wouldn't wish that situation onto anybody.
i just feel awful she has so much bad shit going on in her life this girl has never had a good day in her entire life so i feel awful wanting to break up with her
Yeah well. In the end you're not the one responsible for her pain. If she isn't in the right headspace to maintain a stable and long term relationship, you shouldn't be the one punished for it. You just reaffirm that you're always willing to support and be there for her, relationship or not. I think that's the most that should be reasonably expected of you in the situation you're in, and it isn't your fault if she can't accept that. Just do whatever you think is best for you both
Basically my advice would be to not put out for the first girl who shows you affection, know your worth. Don't feel pressured to commit to anything serious if you're not 100% sure it is sustainable long term
Idk why it became a meme to want to find someone severely mentally ill to be your gf. I almost got killed and i lost years of my life. Never ever put up with that shit dude
I was 21 & yeah, in hindsight i got targeted. Seeing these posts used to make me mad as hell because anyone that says they want this definitely hasn't been through it lol. It fucked me up for a very long time. I'm glad you got out of that man
Yeah I've seen this on reddit a lot the last few months and assume it's a meme. Dating people with mental illness irl can be very challenging, even if they're in treatment. Sure the sex is usually fire, but you can find that with more stable people too.
Lol I didn't even get to that stage, we had phone sex but nothing physical. Maybe that was lucky for me though as she had a body count and I might have gotten some nasty STD from her
I have two friends with BPD. One has âQuietâ BPD and the other has âImpulsive/Self-Destructiveâ BPD. The âImpulsive/Self-Destructiveâ one did everything under the sun after they refused to take their meds and even accused our friends who got into a relationship that they abandoned her which ruined our friendship group. The âQuietâ BPD one just gets very sad, has an eating disorder, and needs constant reassurance. Can you guess which one became a veterinarian? At least she takes her meds again.
Bipolar is more like extreme mood swings, while borderline is like the feeling of insecurity you get, times 100, and it can be onset by plenty of things that would upset you/make you feel insecure
So like, my boss was bipolar, and he would tell us to do stuff, then come back later and yell at us for not doing it faster (even though there were things that kept us from completing the work) then see us later and be all smiles and 'hey guys, how's it going' all within like 3 hours
Much like the post lol, it was great with my ex for like 4 months, but then my Ex would be insecure, need constant reassurance and validation, then split and call me a POS for minor things/because she would be upset.
So they are very similar, but slightly different
Noooo, bipolar is more like days, weeks, or months of manic then depressive episodes.
Borderline is more like extreme mood swings within minutes. Bpd is extremely unstable, volatile, hostile, manipulative, etc - the worst traits and known to be one of the, if not THE, worst personality disorders. Especially since it's nearly untreatable with medication.
What are you talking about?? Yeah medication is not the primary treatment, therapy is, but it can be used alongside and help. Bpd is not "bad person disorder". People can have bpd and just live normally or people can not have bpd and be the worst manipulative assholes you've met. Pointless categorization
Yeah I've been diagnosed with BPD and even though the diagnosis doesn't really fit me very well I've read a lot about it and talked with a lot of mental health professionals. This thread is all about catastrophizing and shitting on people with mental health problems. BPD can definitely cause a lot of trouble in the lives of patients and those close to us/them but uhh some of this is pretty wack
As someone who has the misfortune of a BPD woman being in his life I canât believe anyone would ever want that.
Like even the highs get annoying as hell to deal with because 1 you know the fall is coming and 2 love bombing that intense is just too much.
Also they may seem all over the place but Iâve seen how malicious they can be if they want to, imho BPD is right up there with NPD and ASPD. Itâs not the fun mental disability like mild autism or ADHD. Wanting a girl with it is like wanting to be around Hannibal lecter
Literally. All cluster B personality disorders are about the same level of awful to be around. Step mother is diagnosed BPD my grandmother is diagnosed Histrionic personality disorder and just like everyone else I've known people with NPD and ASPD.
It's nothing to glamorize they will all ruin your life and genuinely enjoy doing it, because they'll convince themselves (and everyone else) that everything was actually your fault.
LWell yeah, if he doesn't have it must be bad. Awful. Terrible really. One of the worst diseases you can possibly get I promise that the best don't need big penis disease.
Iâve been with my BPD girlfriend for 5 years and itâs nothing like any of the bs you read online. Yeah sheâs sensitive, but she isnât a manipulative monster. She crashes out over things that would just piss other people off a bit. And when something good happens, itâs like Jesus descended from the sky and kissed her on the forehead. Itâs just emotions that are more extreme than regular.
Notably, not everyone with BPD experiences it the same way. Lots of people are functioning in relationships with BPD. They are not radioactive. It's notable that the person in this greentext went looking specifically for a toxic relationship.
Yeah the fetishization is super gross.
I have CPTSD from growing up with a step parent who had an undiagnosed personality disorder, like I know in detail how awful those experiences can be. The fact that people casually sexualize legitimately traumatic experiences is weird as fuck.
Holy shit, a positive comment! Fetishization of BPD is mega weird and the dude absolutely did it to himself. Not saying the girl is in the right either though because if the greentext is to be believed she doesnt seem to be working on her BPD either.
An astoundingly simple and economic solution is possible: to tell her that you no longer care about her due to her betrayal. I can assure you she shall beg you on her very knees to come back.
Alternatively, she may attempt to murder you, but that is just a risk.
Yeah I tried this and she never contacted me again lol
Haven't heard anything for over 5 years now, all her accounts are gone so I have no clue if she's even around anymore
Nah, though people with BPD arenât a monolith that kind of thinking is for only some types of people and usually not ones with BPD. The extreme sensitivity and wild extreme emotions would mean any rejection is more likely going to lead to her leaving entirely or murdering you and then leaving entirely.
6 years with a girl that had it and she destroyed my personality, isolated me from all my relationships, was a major factor in my worsening PTSD and making relationships is like swimming through molasses because I have to keep reminding myself they arenât looking for ammunition and probably genuinely mean what they say.
Hers was bad and pretty sure she got some of her moms diagnosed Narcism too but it still makes meal on eggshells anytime I hear someone Iâm talking to has it and I hate it.
Meanwhile I am a man with BPD...the opposite end. I am pretty much destined to die alone... probably sad. Maybe with dementia from all of the psych meds I take...and I regret all of the times I abused my ex also with BPD....she realized I am too far gone. Even she tried to get better and she found a far better man then I'll ever be.
Never too late to change, you might always have these impulses but you can condition yourself to not immediately give in to them. You've already acknowledged your issues and its great step towards getting a hold of it
Normies hate it when mentally ill people are functional. Anytime I post about losing my career as a pilot to a bipolar II diagnosis, making it work after seeking treatment, and how fucked up it is that treated mental illness is seen as worse than untreated mental illness in some fields they're rooting for my downfall.
Unfortunately, a lot of assholes like someone to punch down on or someone to look at and say "haha, I'm glad that's not me!"
When people with disabilities or mental illness actually work their way up, then losers are forced to reflect on how they've achieved nothing despite being perfectly able. Instead of doing that, they'd rather continue to punch down and put others back "in their place".
I've seen it happen in real time before in a large online group chat with a dude who was hyper autistic and developmentally disabled. Everyone loved laughing at him and because of that, they pretended to like him. When he got therapy, a girlfriend, and a physics degree, everyone in the chat (who had none of the above) was intentionally trying to push him back to the mental state he was in before.
Moral of the story being: some people will always wanna see you fail if it makes them feel better about themselves. Use the naysayers as motivation to prove them wrong. Because they are wrong.
when I was younger I fell for this, ruined a good chunk of my college years (at least the love life parts of it anyway), now I shout this shit from the rooftops. plsplspls itâs so simple idc if itâs âmeanâ or âinsensitive to her problemsâ you gotta come first king
BPD is a complete bitch. My ex-wife had it, and it was a rololercoaster of crazy until I finally left, and of course, I am the devil incarnate now to her.
It's absolutely your fault. There is no world where it's not your fault.
You choose crazy women but want to behave normally around her. That's not how it works.
You either play by her rules or find someone in default settings.
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