Do y'all ever roll in late to the office? pt.2

Lots of people are being declarative about the situation. It's a knee-jerk reaction, but I think it misses the bigger point. This post also has nearly nothing to do with sysadmin :). The reality is that **people will treat you exactly as you allow them to treat you**. And you have to decide what that standard is. Other people - friends, colleagues, bosses, etc. - will rise or fall to the standard you set or find their way out of your life. When it comes to a job (and in this job market!) that can be a scary proposition. But it works out far more often than it doesn't. So far, I've made a good life - both work and personal life - of doing a little more than I had to. It's partly how I was raised and partly how I'm wired. I like seeing the things I do get done well. However, I also have in the back of my mind that my efforts are valuable and that I'm valuable for those efforts. People who don't recognize and reciprocate that aren't worth my time and my energy. That's not to say everything is my way or the highway or that everything I do is transactional. But I act with intentionality - there's a *reason* I stay late, or learn a new technology, or cook a special meal for my wife for no particular reason. So, the questions I'd ask myself in your situation are... * Am I happy with the way things are? Is this what I want to be doing and is this how I want this relationship to be? Am I getting something out of this relationship and am I happy with what that is? * What do I stand to get out of efforts that feel above and beyond a role. I've absolutely been in your shoes and taken on the burden you've carried and I had a reason for doing it - I wanted a different job and the effort gave me a world of experience in a short time. I also had an exit plan to capitalize on those efforts. * If I am willing to stay, what are the things I want to make that better? How can I reasonably propose changes to get there? Am I willing and able to leave if those changes "aren't possible?" <-- Most of my strength comes from here. I can only control my own behavior, but I'm rarely "stuck" anywhere or with anyone. The ability to say "no" makes saying "yes" so, so much more meaningful. * What do I need to do to best position myself to have the conversation in the above point? Just going to someone and saying, "I want <x>" without a plan B is a losing proposition. Going to the same person and saying, "I want <x>, on <y> timeline, and here's how I think we can get here, but I'm open to working this out together" *and* knowing you've got a job offer in your back pocket so that if you meet blanket resistance, you can follow up with, "I'm so sorry you feel that way. But if we can't come to acceptable terms, I'm prepared to give my two weeks today." Or, in a non-work world, simply break off and not engage with that person anymore. You'd be surprised how often I can open doors with a simple willingness to walk away. And, for situations where I do, in fact, walk away... I'm happier for it.