What's something you wish everyone knew about you so that you don't keep having to explain it?

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waitdollars2@reddit

How my ADHD and autism traits (not diagnosed for autism yet but it’s been strongly suggested that I have it) affects what I do, how I think and what I say, and that my dyslexia is not a sign of low intelligence, I’m actually very intelligent. I also wish there was an easier way to explain these disability’s to people that makes them understand, so I don’t have to ask them to adjust how they treat me.

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Richard__Papen@reddit

Yes it must be very tough. I'm only getting a handle on my autistic/ADHD brother after 50 years!! I guess generally people just have to cut everyone some slack and appreciate that there might be good unavoidable reasons why someone is acting or thinking the way they do. Ordinarily your statement "I'm actually very intelligent" sounds arrogant to me and probably most people in my country. But that might be fine to say in yours so that's another thing to take into account - it's not just the individual but the country they live in or the culture in which they're immersed.

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waitdollars2@reddit

Yes there is very little empathy in the world, and few people who want to understand. I’m not saying everyone should do research on every disability, but if you are constantly around someone who says they have a disability, the first thing you should be doing is researching the disability to educate yourself, so you can treat them accordingly, but few people do that unfortunately. And by intelligent I’m not trying to be arrogant. If you look up the definition of the word intelligent, it falls under “high mental capacity”: Rapid Processing Speed, Large Working Memory, Advanced Fluid Intelligence, High cognitive Intelligence, High Cognitive Reserve, Efficient Problem Solving, Deep Concentration, Metacognition, Efficient Decision Making and Resilience, all of which I have not just by my own self observation but by observing myself against other people and because people will tell me I posses these traits. Most people are very surprised when I’m able to do things most cannot. I appreciate the perspective on culture, but I think it’s important to be able to state one's strengths without it being labeled 'arrogant,' especially when those strengths are constantly underestimated due to neurodivergence. I’m not boasting, I’m providing context for how my brain works. I just wish more people would take the initiative to learn about these things themselves rather than expecting us to be walking encyclopedias of our own disabilities

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Richard__Papen@reddit

I do tend to agree if someone is very close to someone else it would be a good idea for them to understand any conditions they might have. From my POV I'd want to, both for the other person and just out of curiosity myself. I'm not doubting your intelligence but you will irritate a lot of people if you go around telling them about it. Frankly, it's unnecessary. Just show people you're intelligent through what you say, your work, your study, whatever. You can state your strengths in certain situations eg a job interview but, again, it's not generally necessary to tell people how good you are at stuff. It will annoy people. If you're as intelligent as you say you will realize it's not in your best interests to do this because many *will* think you are arrogant. I work with several people with autism and ADHD. They all have their difficulties, obviously. Some are able to hide them more than others. They are all very very competent in many areas and make interesting colleagues. However, none of them state how good they are at anything - they **show** it with the quality of their work.

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Cunthbert@reddit

ADHD is like the worst name for the disorder. I’ve been diagnosed and people don’t really believe me because I’m not hyper.

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Altreus@reddit

The hyperactivity is internal

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waitdollars2@reddit

Not 100% true, when hyperactivity is internal it’s usually due to masking because of social pressure.

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waitdollars2@reddit

Yes, because most people don’t understand that there are 3 different types of ADHD and not everyone has all 3.

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BuBBles_the_pyro@reddit

I cant eat eggs and egg heavy things, I have to remind my parents of this too. Mayonnaise is the devils sauce. Eggs are in everything and a surprisingly large amount of sweet things too.

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ooh_bit_of_bush@reddit

>egg heavy things I read that three times thinking you meant things that weighed the same as an egg.....time for me to go to bed.

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VolcanicBear@reddit

It's quite interesting how many people have missed "knew about _you_" and have just seen the opportunity to explain things they wish they knew. Outside of work, I find I rarely have to explain something about myself.

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ooh_bit_of_bush@reddit

Well, I'm glad I read this comment before going on a rant about how coffee strenth on a packet has nothing to with caffeine levels.

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Altreus@reddit

Woah you're right! I think that's one of those illusions from people's tendency to read too fast and make assumptions (which is normal!), same as when people don't see "the the" in that triangle. You know what I mean.

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Infernocratic@reddit

Almost no one has read the question fully lol

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Labionda20@reddit

That I have lost both of my parents and my only sibling. It’s always stressful for me when people talk about families.

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oscarx-ray@reddit

I've been tempted to get a t-shirt that says: • 6' 6" • The weather's fine • No, but I played a little basketball in school • I'd be happy to get something off the shelf for you • Mum was 5' 8", dad around 6' 1", older brother about 6' 1" • UK 12 / EU 47 / US 13 • No, sadly not. It looks like a shy seahorse.

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PatchcordAdams@reddit

We are the same size. Hello fellow 99.7% percentile. 👋

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AfternoonAfraid2192@reddit

Autism. Autistic burnout. All the unusualities that come with it. The fact that we just don't hate you, we just want to be alone because our social battery is low. We can't think the same as you. What's normal to you is chaos to us. In fact, let's throw all mental impairments out there too. If the world understood how people were different, then maybe we'd all get along.

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Suspicious_Poem7017@reddit

my job lmaoo (i'm an ODP)

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fiendofecology@reddit

I hate when they ask about siblings and I have to choose between saying I had two brothers but one died or just saying I have one brother, which seems a bit horrible to hide his existence, then curiousity obviously gets at them and they ask how they died and I have to say suicide. Why do they always ask me how he died? Why does it matterV

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AkraStar@reddit

I have face blindness, so I'm not being rude when I don't acknowledge you in the street, I just don't know who you are until you engage with me. I will be able to learn traits about people that will enable me to recognise them in certain situations. I.e if I'm in the gym, I can recognise the people based on how they walk, the particular clothes they wear, how they do an exercise and that they're in that setting. I will not know who they are outside of the gym setting unless we have hung out a few times outside of that setting for me to then distinguish other things about them that help me to recognise them. People often just assume that I'm really rude and unfriendly

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Least-Entrepreneur23@reddit

I feel there's a lot of people here that didn't understand the question

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HilariousMotives@reddit (OP)

I didn't have the heart to say, they all seemed so enthusiastic. 🫠

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IansGotNothingLeft@reddit

It's good information, regardless.

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Neonauryn@reddit

I'm not ok.

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IansGotNothingLeft@reddit

I don't drink. On a weekly basis, people at work crack jokes about it nearly being "pub o'clock" for me, and I just smile and nod. Or they buy me alcohol as gifts. It would be useful to know instinctively if people liked/drank alcohol. Side note: I think people may have misread your post....or I did...

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Zak_Rahman@reddit

> Side note: I think people may have misread your post....or I did... Crikey. You drunk or something?

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numputu@reddit

Ankylosing Spondylitis and Crohn's disease. Basically, hidden autoimmune disease.

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hunsnet457@reddit

I’m autistic so where do I even start with this one… Probably that I say exactly what I mean. There’s no need for someone to apply their own opinions on what I meant based on their experience of being poor at direct communication, there are no hidden meanings, no reading between the lines, etc. Pretty common experience for autistic people to have their words twisted or exaggerated regardless of how direct or clear they’re being, because generally neurotypical people beat around the bush or don’t say what they mean, so they apply their own logic to someone else’s words. And it’s always impossible to resolve because people will hurt their own feelings with the hidden meanings they’ve made up, then never actually try to address or resolve it - So before you know it so-and-so thinks you fucking despise her because 6-months ago you said you don’t like the colour green, and because she has green bedsheets, she saw that as a personal attack on her *(Exaggerated example but that’s the level of assumptions people actually make on a daily basis)*.

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taflad@reddit

That turning an electronic device on and off isn't a placebo or cop-out. It really works, and doing so before contacting me saves us all time

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EyeAware3519@reddit

Bangernomics isn't a "hack" it's just driving a shit car. Just because people spend a lot of money buying and financing a brand new car they're not just pissing money away to show off. Having something that you can rely on to take you where you need to go every day without constantly worrying about it breaking down is worth paying extra for.

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-scottishsunshine@reddit

Looking into buying a new(er) car - most probably 3-4 years old second hand. I can afford to buy one outright, but would obviously prefer to have monthly payments so I have the cash for something else if needed... but can't see a way to lease it for cheaper than it would be paying outright? Can you explain how this can work so I can look into this?

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EyeAware3519@reddit

Sure. You have to be a bit savvy and get the right car at the right time but here is an example IONIQ 5 N - RRP is £65,000 The total cost of ownership for 24 months for [this lease](https://www.leaseloco.com/car-leasing/hyundai/ioniq-5-n/478kw-84-kwh-5dr-auto/45446/2-24-5000-12-0/3d774d87715e445461c8205859e883d3/config) is £12,582.15, that also includes road tax. If you were to buy that car for cash, keep it for 2 years and put 10,000 miles on it the car would be worth [£43,000](https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202603100554838) so the total cost of ownership there is at least £22,000. In reality it's much more as the trade in price will be much lower than the retail price and you've also had to pay road tax. In this case you're saving maybe £15,000. The trick to budgeting for a car is to work out the total cost of ownership over the time you plan to own the car. Most people change cars every 3-4 years and while you can tell yourself "that's not me, I keep my cars and run them into the ground" as soon as the repairs start costing more than the value of the car you'll be dumping it on We Buy Any Car the same as everyone else.

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-scottishsunshine@reddit

Thanks for the explanation. This is the way I've been looking at it too. I think this works for brand new cars (definitely couldn't afford £65k outright anyway!) but I haven't got the desire for a new car so getting a 3-4 year old car, and keeping it for 4-5 years is what I'll probably end up doing, but I'll keep an eye out for deals like this. So far I've picked good cars that haven't had expensive repairs (fingers crossed), so this has worked well for me. Also I drive my car 15 mins to and from work, 15 mins to and from family/friends so low mileage helps with low repair costs - my car is now 11 years old! It was much easier when cars were decent price second hand but that is coming more and more expensive.

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EyeAware3519@reddit

Yeah. It only works for brand new cars. The downvotes prove my point that people don't understand it, sigh.

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InkedDoll1@reddit

Why i limp and use a stick sometimes. I just hate the feeling that people are wondering what's wrong with me but don't want to ask.

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

Marginal tax rates. I didn't suddenly lose 40% of my income when I moved into the higher tax bracket...

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Efficient_Eye_7710@reddit

I once had a friend tell me she turned down a bonus as she didn’t want to move into the 40% tax band…

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

I've known people do that too. The only thing I will say is that it makes pay rises less impactful. For instance, at my work we all just got given a percentage rise across the board. Kind of takes the sting out of it knowing that you'll lose 40% of it to tax.

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Efficient_Eye_7710@reddit

I agree it feels big however 60% of something is a lot more than 100% of nothing

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Weird-End5410@reddit

It's only the proportion of your salary that's in that tax band. E.g. the 40% tax rate starts at £50k and your salary is £52k. You pay £800 at the higher rate (£2k X 40%). The rest is taxed at the lower rate (except your personal allowance, which is tax free).

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IndigoQuantum@reddit

Likewise simply how percentages work - ordinary people who earn more already pay more income tax

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Actual_Coyote_7817@reddit

I'm just quiet. No need to overthink why I am quiet. I just am. You know when people start asking you, I know they mean well, like why are you quiet? Is something wrong? And even after you said, everything's good, they just won't stop overthinking it. Like I can't be loud at all times, guys.

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Thomasinarina@reddit

‘Why do you make so much noise? Why do you speak just to make sound?’ I find myself thinking that of other people constantly.

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FunkyYoghurt@reddit

I walk to work or a friend's place even if it takes 2 hours because I like "me" time, music, and I can't stand public transport. If it's bouncing it down I'll book a taxi or get a bus, otherwise I'm walking. I'm a bit fed up of people thinking I'm insane because I walk 1 hour to work when a bus is 15 minutes.

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OkGrapefruit7174@reddit

Yes I’m vegetarian, no I have no interest in meat, no I have never had it in my life, it’s not a big deal get over it.

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Ramsden_12@reddit

If people talk about other people behind their back to you, they're talking about you to other people behind your back.

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BigMagic88@reddit

Yeah. I equally slag everyone off. If nothing I am fair

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BigMagic88@reddit

I am extremely sensitive to sounds and no it’s really not that hilarious to keep triggering me for your own amusement. All it does is tallies up a very short number crosses before I never ever engage with you again. The amount of people who have apologised to me is wild! You could have just not done it. I didn’t mean it… well I did. Off you fuck

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PasserBySayingHi@reddit

To both, how deep of a thinker I am/they are. I've founded most of my views and perspectives on most issues from first principles over many years, and so can explain in great depth why I think a certain way on a topic. I get tired of having to spend 5 minutes explaining my thinking behind issues when they dont trust me at my word. For others, I wish I could tell easily how deep their thinking goes, so I can moderate my conversation better to where they are on an issue. One may be intimidated by my depth on a topic, or play insightful when their views are based off memes they've seen (not a critique, just helps understand the conversational playing field). Although, with all that said, I suppose the core answer here is... how honest and open people are. It makes life a lot easier.

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musicallymotivated93@reddit

That no, I haven't been ill, I lost weight because I wanted to (and realistically, needed to). And no, I've not pissed away money I don't have on Mounjaro or Ozempic either. I did it myself.

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LargeLetter1@reddit

The difference between an MP and a Councillor (and in many cases, the police). A good 50% of comments under MPs posts are berating them for a local issue, usually antisocial behaviour which is a police matter. My MP is in the cabinet so no they aren’t around much, so yes their office will always try and help - but your noisy neighbour is not really a matter for a member of Parliament.

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BuBBles_the_pyro@reddit

Preach, we have a policy of anything council related we give them their local Cllrs contact information so they can get in touch with them direct. they inevitably come back 2 weeks or a month later saying the council hasn't done anything however...

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EasyCheesecake1@reddit

Gender is a social construct.

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Erivandi@reddit

"No, I am not from a different country. I just have a weird accent because my parents are from two very different parts of the UK and because I've lived in different places in the UK. And because I've watched too much American TV."

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CoffeeIgnoramus@reddit

Honestly, the only people that I feel don't understand enough about me, are redditors but I don't think it would realistically matter to the majority. And same the other way. Reddit is a place people come to destress but often also to try to one up each other through popular answers rather than correct answers (There are some exceptions) So the fact that someone actually has expertise in an area really has no effect on the "top" answer. I sometimes let myself get dragged into arguments when I see a clearly false answer that is perpetuated by someone who clearly has never been in the sector or doesn't understand the nuances, but I now do my best to think "This is just reddit, they are just venting". But I'd love a "reddit" like setup but where we could stay fairly civil and listen to those with expert opinions. Maybe where expertise is actually seen somehow. Then when you see opposing views, you can actually see who is BSing and who is experienced in the area. Or whether 2 people are right but from different situations.

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FunkyYoghurt@reddit

I know what you mean. My background and expertise is in behaviour support in a secondary school and I've gotten to the point where I avoid any Reddit thread about school, behaviour, news stories about violence in schools etc, because I'm sick to death of seeing "Absolute bullshit and they've no idea what they're talking about" being awarded and having 586 upvotes.

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IndigoQuantum@reddit

Cranking the car AC up to 30 when it's cold does not make it get hotter quicker, you just eventually end up roasting so you turn it down to 10 then you're cold again, repeat an infinitum. Just leave it at the temperature you've always been comfortable driving at and let it do its thing.

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MMH1111@reddit

When we first got ac at work many years ago I had a colleague who did this. After the third 'it's too hot/cold now' I'd have to control my rage at his idiocy as best I could and say through gritted teeth 'I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SET IT AT A COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE AND LEAVE IT'.

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Eren-Alter-Ego@reddit

Climate change 🙄

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Boggyprostate@reddit

That immigrants are not illegally here in the UK!

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DLoRedOnline@reddit

Ricotta is made from whey after the first batch of cheese has been coagulated from the milk. If you're just acid setting milk, you've made paneer or cottage cheese.

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IndigoQuantum@reddit

Yeah, if I had a pound for every time I've had to explain that to someone...

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pluk78@reddit

The basics of the law of the land. It is insane how many people are wandering around not knowing what legally they can and can't do. None of it is secret, it is all documented and easily accessible.

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YragNitram1956@reddit

We did not evolve from monkeys. Humans did not evolve from modern monkeys; instead, humans and monkeys are distinct primate groups that evolved from a distant common ancestor, much like cousins on an evolutionary family tree. Humans share a more recent common ancestor with apes, such as chimpanzees, bonobos which lived between 5 and 8 million years ago. All these species — humans, apes, and monkeys — are considered primates and share a more ancient, even more distant, common relative from tens of millions of years ago. The most critical point is that evolution is not a linear progression from one living species to another. Humans and modern monkeys are not descendants of each other; rather, they share a common ancestor that is now extinct. Think of the relationship as being like cousins. Humans and monkeys have a shared ancestry, but their paths diverged millions of years ago. Humans are more closely related to great apes (like chimpanzees and gorillas) than to monkeys, as humans and apes share a more recent common ancestor. The ancestor that humans, monkeys, and apes all share evolved over vast periods into the diverse primate groups we see today, each adapting to its own unique environmental pressures. If humans descended from monkeys, there would be no monkeys left, which is not the case. Instead, the common ancestor evolved into different lineages, one of which led to modern humans and other lines that led to the diverse monkey species we observe today. https://preview.redd.it/aasifg0xrlog1.jpeg?width=688&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=074bae75cfef0dbc70a16c3ba340b8e56d05bf33

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I_want_roti@reddit

Everyone, no matter their age can pay income tax - there's ko special rule because you're under 16 or in education. The reality is that most people in those groups don't earn enough to pay tax. That, and that earning more than £50,271 doesn't mean you're worse off than if you earned £50,269 because you're in the 40% band. Income Tax is charged progressively and you only pay 40% on what's above the threshold. Yes - there's a quirk for £100-125k where your personal allowance reduces as well as tax free childcare - but the general concept remains.

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Minimum_Promotion728@reddit

The matrix

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