>>My gay boyfriend
As opposed to my(a male in my 30s on a Japanese fanatic's porn image psyop website) "straight" boyfriend.
Also i wish i had a twink gay bf with detcharge of cum to unload in my ass and then be very embarrassed about how quickly he came.
As for the “what to tell the ER staff,” we would find it fucking hilarious if it was phrased exactly like that, and would honestly just be glad we don’t have to go spelunking for whatever new and exciting object someone had decided belonged inside their ass.
It truly is wild what people have managed to insert. I have a folder full of wild abdomen/pelvis images, greatest hits include a full-size police-style Maglite flashlight, a lightbulb, multiple full cans of sprite. But my favorite was a walkie-talkie (antenna-up), wanted to try to find its frequency, call it, and see if I could hear myself through the abdominal wall.
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