TheaterFire

By Marika Long Betrayed

Posted by Autumn_Fire@reddit | 4chan | View on Reddit | 26 comments

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26 Comments

C_umputer@reddit

As a souls fan, I'm pretty sure the lore is just random bs, and then some nerds will try to make sense of it. Just get a big club and level str, for eldern ring add faith.
View on Reddit #80626771

Autumn_Fire@reddit (OP)

ER is pretty coherent until you try to sort out the timeline of the Shattering War beginning, Miquella reaching the land of shadow, Malenia nuking Caelid, Frejya being healed by Miquella, and Miquella being absconded with by Mogh. All of that is somehow supposed to happen while Miquella is stuck beneath the Haligtree roots and unconscious where Mogh stole him away.
View on Reddit #80628722

TheGaslighter9000X@reddit

Not reading all of this. Tell me the funny part
View on Reddit #80374616

tistimenotmyrealname@reddit

Theres a big funny talking jar, even a whole village of cool jars and cute little children jars, you just accepted it that there are talking jars and in the dlc you learn that some genocidal cult started to put all of her people in jars until the rotting flesh start talking
View on Reddit #80375181

Nineflames12@reddit

I’ve half a mind to try that irl
View on Reddit #80577221

TheGaslighter9000X@reddit

Amazing work. Thank you.
View on Reddit #80389698

ThePizzaTimePizzaGuy@reddit

Esl niggrobabble alert
View on Reddit #80375498

tistimenotmyrealname@reddit

I dont know what this means and I dont care
View on Reddit #80375548

Brave33@reddit

The funny part is that it's all a huge Berserker reference again because Myazaki.
View on Reddit #80379588

Judah_Earl@reddit

I recently started playing Elden Ring and I have to ask, when does it get good?
View on Reddit #80393106

Celt-at-Arms@reddit

It...doesn't. Take all the Fantasy Babble of Dark Souls III, remove your pre-existing understanding of the metaphysics (The First Flame and the Undead), so that the player doesnt even understand what the Elden Ring is (as opposed to the First Flame which was explained in literally the first minute of the opening cutscene of the first game). Then have the plot largely explained through NPCs that essentially spawn randomly throughout the map, with basically no rhyme or reason for their subsequent locations, OR through item descriptions, but since its open world it is REALLY easy to miss items so this method is even more unreliable than in Dark Souls. And all that is only if you are interested in the plot. For the combat, just copy Dark Souls III wholesale, but make the map 'open world' as if Dark Souls II and III were not largely open world already. Realize thats a lot of walking, so add a horse, realize the horse allows you to dodge too much combat, so add a lot of enemies that spawn/are invisible to counteract the horse, but it doesnt really work. Realize that allowing you to tackle the bosses in whatever order allows for easy minmaxing, and you cant have your game be easy, so you just multiply the enemies health by 5x and damage by 1.5x per region by the official canon order of the regions. It is remarkably grindy compared to its predecessors, while being even more obtuse with its lore. Dark Souls III could get away with all the fantasy babble because it had two previous games that spoke more literally about the lore, thus you had a foundation to bounce the babble off of.
View on Reddit #80460020

Judah_Earl@reddit

So what I'm hearing from a lot of people, is that I should play Dark Souls instead.
View on Reddit #80474974

Celt-at-Arms@reddit

Honestly, if you do not already like Elden Ring by the time you get to Godrick, it probably isnt for you. The Steam Spring sale is almost upon us, so you will probably be able to get the entire Dark Souls series for like 75% off, good time to pick it up.
View on Reddit #80484801

TaxationisThrift@reddit

The combat is fun if you like souls games but the fact that it's open world actually ruined it for me. It makes it nearly impossible to balance properly. Entire sections of the game were ruined for me because I got to them late and even the best part of the game, the dungeons of that area were a cake walk. I ended up taking little to no joy in beating bosses as I was no longer invested by the end of it while if I go back and play DS3 I can get sucked right back in and feel that surge of triumph when I beat a boss.
View on Reddit #80450804

MechwolfMachina@reddit

After you uninstall it and get dark souls II instead
View on Reddit #80394032

SamirTheGreat@reddit

I see another man of culture here
View on Reddit #80448152

airfryerfuntime@reddit

In my case, it never did. They basically just distilled Dark Souls games down into an even more autistic game.
View on Reddit #80430511

Real-Terminal@reddit

If you aren't into Souls gameplay it doesn't. The game is designed for Dark Souls addicts and as you progress it leans more into the minmax side of things to boot.
View on Reddit #80410829

some_kid_with_parrot@reddit

It doesn't unfortunately
View on Reddit #80393459

PyroKid883@reddit

I had a GF named Marika. I was really into her, but she didn't really care for me other than my body.
View on Reddit #80379428

moose_dad@reddit

Dont knock her up whatever you do
View on Reddit #80472788

HRApprovedUsername@reddit

Yeah your fat, lumpy body is so attractive
View on Reddit #80381029

PyroKid883@reddit

She thought so
View on Reddit #80381215

Vlad_The_Great_2@reddit

I played Elden ring and still have no idea what the story is about.
View on Reddit #80470108

Pm_pussypicspls__@reddit

“Its fucking berserk again” kinda sums up the entirety of dark spuls and elden ring
View on Reddit #80435142

Slide-Maleficent@reddit

![gif](giphy|Cz6TlrRVVyv9S)
View on Reddit #80386401