TheaterFire

What’s the funniest/most accurate joke about Americans ever said by the trio?

Posted by lifegoeson2702@reddit | thegrandtour | View on Reddit | 105 comments

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105 Comments

Skywarper@reddit

Everything they said in the first America special where they got ran out of town.
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IAmA_meat_popsicle@reddit

"NASCAR Sucks" "Man Love Rules OK" "Hillary for President" 🤣🤣🤣
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_TheShapeOfColor_@reddit

"🎶Country & Western is Rubbish🎵" 😂😂😂
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Bluntbutnotonpurpose@reddit

Are y'all gay looking to see how long it takes to get beat up in a hick town?
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_TheShapeOfColor_@reddit

"You don't want a house in Florida. It's all hot and sticky and full of people with guns" James May
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SALTYP33T@reddit

As a native Floridian….i can agree with this statement.
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NotADuck94@reddit

When May breaks his arm, wearing a sling and Hammond asks which arm he’s broken
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Panda_Panda69@reddit

“Gas! They call a liquid gas!” Is my favourite, bc… science
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WhatWouldKikiDo@reddit

If only Jeffrey knew that “gas” is short for “gasoline,” which began as the British “gasolene” (apparently a British trade name). And their word “petrol” comes from petroleum, a combo of the Latin words for “rock” and “oil.” So they’re calling it a liquid made from rock & oil, and we’re calling it a liquid made from gas & oil. And since you can make liquids from gases much more easily than from rocks (think liquid natural gas), I’d say we have the upper hand. Not to mention that petroleum products can include everything from gasoline to Vaseline, so I’d say our term for the fuel we put in cars is more precise. Not to split hairs or anything. 😜 https://www.etymonline.com/word/gasoline
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Electrical_Score_736@reddit

This is American cope We all know gasoline is a word We just don’t respect it at all when its shorthand is used because it’s dumb
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WhatWouldKikiDo@reddit

Of course - I was just pointing out the absurdity of it all; no harm meant (hence the 😜 emoji). Thanks! :)
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massivefishes@reddit

you mean jeremy
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WhatWouldKikiDo@reddit

I sure do - thanks!
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Koelenaam@reddit

That's a whole lot of words to say nothing.
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Panda_Panda69@reddit

“You’re saying this because you’re an American Hammond”
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WhatWouldKikiDo@reddit

💯😂😂😂
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internetisfun24@reddit

Do you want cheeeeeese with that!?
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Master_____Blaster@reddit

Everyone single American I’ve met deserves the arrogance reflected back they come across with For all the “keep within the community” parameters, that sums you up. You’re secluded. And no on else anywhere cares otherwise Continue to fuck your flag, continue to pretend you hand some kind of constitution, the rest of the world is laughing at you. And you deserve the wake up call
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thegrandtour-ModTeam@reddit

No hate
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Cru_Jones86@reddit

Sounds like you've met a couple shitty Americans. Some of us are laughing along with the rest of the world. I'm not blind to what's going on and I'm not in a cult. Still though, If everyone you meet in the US has an attitude, it might be a you problem.
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Master_____Blaster@reddit

Even typing that original reply, I was aware of how it came across. I’m sorry, but the rest of the world (by and large) despises you. You’ve ridden your entitled privilege for long enough now. Hopefully things continue to shift where the rest of the world continues to realise this, and continues to cut ties
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Cru_Jones86@reddit

> Hopefully things continue to shift where the rest of the world continues to realise this, and continues to cut ties. OR, we could elect a president who doesn't have their head in their ass...
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Master_____Blaster@reddit

Do if. You won’t. You had the chance, you didn’t
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djsimp123@reddit

We are Mr tough guy here.
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ScoffingYayap@reddit

Found Jezza
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DefNotBrian@reddit

I like the one where Jeremy points to a guy turning right on red and saying that's America's only contribution to the world
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ButtholeSurfur@reddit

He says "modern civilization" I believe which makes it even better.
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DefNotBrian@reddit

Damnit! That's what I had in my head and I convinced myself it was wrong 😆
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ButtholeSurfur@reddit

Great bit. Jeremy is more American than he thinks. He likes loud cars, guns, a drink and he's fat as hell.
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Agreeable_Pool_3684@reddit

But he never bombed Iran or carried out a regime change in South America. But to be fair if the Netflix budget had been bigger he probably would have done it for laughs.
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ButtholeSurfur@reddit

Wait, wut? I have two questions. Do you think Top Gear or Grand Tour was on Netflix? Also do you think England has been a moral compass compared to the USA?
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Electrical_Score_736@reddit

Over the last 80 years? Yes.
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Rancor_Keeper@reddit

Yes, but Richard loves cheeeeese on everything.
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MisterAnderson-@reddit

And hellcats and burnouts
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Silicon359@reddit

And Wales. And gin. Sorry, not American. If he wants to be more American he can drink raw Venezuelan crude. 🦅
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WySLatestWit@reddit

It's especially funny that Jeremy gets on Hammond for being a secret American all the time when EVERYTHING Jeremy does is as American as apple pie except for his accent.
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JelenaBrela@reddit

Apple pie is Dutch. Now what are we gonna do?
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WySLatestWit@reddit

Act like a proper American and claim it anyway?
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JelenaBrela@reddit

That’s correct!
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DefNotBrian@reddit

And he hates cyclists
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Strange-Raspberry326@reddit

Western Civilisation
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ButtholeSurfur@reddit

Yeah I think you're right
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Strange-Raspberry326@reddit

I did cheat, I watched that episode couple of days ago😶
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ButtholeSurfur@reddit

It's a good one!
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Strange-Raspberry326@reddit

And so funny😂 James taught me the slur 'insufferable oaf'
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sbarbary@reddit

Came here to say this. Also few years later I was in America and remembered you could turn right on a red.
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WillieBFreely@reddit

Woody Allen said this forty years ago about CA vs NY. Jeremy plagiarized it.
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Ruttagger@reddit

As a Canadian, I'm also proud of being able to turn right on a red light.
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RainMaker323@reddit

"In the south, people successfully mated with vegetables." (not verbatim)
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PetiteAndOwned@reddit

classic jeremy humor right there
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TangoMikeOne@reddit

It's NOT the Stig, but it is the Stig's American cousin - cut to Mike Skinner stepping out, wearing the white Simpson and race suit.
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AsboST225@reddit

When they made fun of the American tourists during both Africa specials. That's all I could think of during my Kenyan safari (from Australia) in 2023 when I encountered any 😂
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Mysterious_Floor_868@reddit

The way they made coffee, when they did the RV episode. "Take a razor blade and slice the bean in half. Then add it to lukewarm water..."
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iball1984@reddit

I loved the coffee bean cut in half into a gallon of like warm water. And the dressing room where James and Clarkson got done up in makeup, wigs and fake teeth to look American but Hammond was still just himself
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matthewgoodwin1@reddit

Tippex on the teeth and fake tan
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ColsterG@reddit

I loved James'eternal confusion about American cars. How they could have such large engines and produce so little power. It must have been a dichotomy for him though as he's basically saying they should do MORE testing at the Nürburgring.
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mdpick@reddit

When they say ‘motor’ in American accent gets me every time.
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bgeerdes@reddit

I get the feeling most people replying in this thread *aren't* American. I found most of their "jokes" about Americans betrayed their biases and even bigotry and were in bad taste, hypocritical, and had only the slightest bit of truth to them. Those same partial truths could be said about their precious England. My wife and I have been fortunate to be able to live internationally and travel the world but we've never visited the UK for "holiday". And one of the reasons why we haven't is James May's tirade against foreigners visiting in one of the early seasons of Top Gear.
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makkaraperunatjamuus@reddit

Well you seem to be stupid and rude. Must be fat also to complete it. 
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thegrandtour-ModTeam@reddit

No hate
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markgtba@reddit

I think you are missing the parts where jokes are thrown at the different parts of the UK as well. I’m Scottish and when they slag of Scotland I treat it as just a bit of fun ribbing, nothing more than that.
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Phoenix_Kerman@reddit

i think half of all clarkson jokes are aimed at brunmies. even as a yorkshireman there's still plenty of jokes about the region and it's accents
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WankelsRevenge@reddit

"The how they turn right at the red light? That's their only contribution to modern civilization"
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Strange-Raspberry326@reddit

Western civilisation
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roadfoolmc@reddit

Yes thank you for the exact quote!
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rzugorzyt@reddit

Wrong question. They never joked about Americans.
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TheGlendenstone@reddit

„Blistering idiots“
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Koelenaam@reddit

Blithering. Also, Jeremy says that about everything, not American specific.
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JelenaBrela@reddit

Not what he said but what he did. Cuts a coffee bean in half and stirs it in a pot of water.
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lifegoeson2702@reddit (OP)

💯
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MrKayfabe@reddit

When they're in Miami shopping for $1000 cars, Clarkson: I'm looking at a Buick LeSabre. It was rubbish when it was new, it was built by idiots, and it's rubbish now.
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dsmithz71@reddit

Except anything with the GM 3800 turned out to be practically indestructible from that era
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lifegoeson2702@reddit (OP)

True. The car was just ugly, lackluster & uninspiring though.
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-NickFlores-@reddit

Bit of an obscure one, but when Hammond’s Alfa had loose steering and Jeremy said he could drive it through an American movie
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KrztofMarz@reddit

Everybody's very fat, everybody's very stupid and everybody's very rude - it's not a holiday programme, it's the truth
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stomperxj@reddit

"Americans are good at herding bison. The end."
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1995LexusLS400@reddit

“These weigh 600lbs each. That’s as much as having a whole American on the tailgate”
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Alice_600@reddit

It was early on during the grand tour days when Hammond said Pudding isn't breakfast just because its served with a side of sausages.
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Rogthgar@reddit

'Everyone is very fat, everyone is very stupid and they serve cheese with everything.'
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lifegoeson2702@reddit (OP)

Comfort Inn, Best Western, Red Lobster
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RichardInaTreeFort@reddit

I like some fried shrimp with a square of yellow American cheese on them. And some instant grits.
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Successful-Order-24@reddit

“It’s not the Holiday Program it’s the truth”
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Sacrilego_666@reddit

'And then they shoot you'
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Candid-Bike-9165@reddit

Not quite....the quote end by saying "and everyone is very rude" (not the bit about cheese.)
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Slim_Margins1999@reddit

U want cheeeeeese with that???
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bookon@reddit

Most are very oversimplified stereotype jokes. It seems they don't really know any actual Americans.
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Rogthgar@reddit

They do know Richard Hammond.
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H_K-R@reddit

You mean Richard J. Cheeseburger Hammond III?
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Rogthgar@reddit

In his Mustang, cownboy boots and a set of golfclubs in the boot.
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MisterAnderson-@reddit

“My name is Richard Hammond, and I’ve recently taken up golfing.”
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bookon@reddit

He's not fat enough.
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Cranks_No_Start@reddit

What about Richard “the fluffer” Ham.
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user0387382828374747@reddit

“You’re American?, you can’t be you’re nowhere near fat enough”
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5p1c3nut@reddit

Exactly my first thought!
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HydeParkSwag@reddit

They were all pretty dead on except for the strawberry thing James kept throwing out. I have no idea where he got that from.
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FailFastandDieYoung@reddit

"Americans' idea of luxury is just making something bigger."
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manuel_f_p@reddit

As an American, I loved all the jokes made about Americans. A stand out in my mind was when Jeremy was mounting the outboard motors on his amphibious car, and made a comment about each one being roughly the weight of the average American.
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Vanilla_thundr@reddit

As an American, their take on us is a mixed bag. Most of it is good natured fun (or searingly accurate) but I still don't know what James was talking about when he said we put strawberries on everything.
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Way-twofrequentflyer@reddit

Yeah that one was weird. It’s only happened to me at a four seasons in California - which is probably where it happened to me. Not exactly representative of america
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flea61@reddit

***Mornin'.***
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eagledog@reddit

That our cars are much less refined, especially the interiors
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roadfoolmc@reddit

The only contribution for the rest of civilization was being able to turn right on red. Paraphrasing not exact quote.
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coconutpete52@reddit

“In England in the 70’s they would try to engineer cars to the nearest millimeter. But in America it was to the nearest foot”
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7layerDipswitch@reddit

Americans don't know how to make a road with curves and their cars' interiors are cheap and plastic-y feeling
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GG_ALL1N@reddit

V8 moturr
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