TheaterFire

Anon Goons A Bit

Posted by Jonesbro@reddit | greentext | View on Reddit | 34 comments

Anon Goons A Bit

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34 Comments

YourFavoritNew@reddit

Fake, no one will be there.
View on Reddit #80300262

Metrix145@reddit

Also you are much more likely to die from some type of freak accident than a deathbed, You WILL cum in your pants after choking on a peanut and there is NOTHING you can do about it.
View on Reddit #80362192

YourFavoritNew@reddit

My final nut has been foretold.
View on Reddit #80410850

myn3meisjo3@reddit

This implies anons penis is out in the open
View on Reddit #80300251

Roadkillgoblin_2@reddit

or his cumming pressure was so high it just ignored anything in its way (clothes,bedding etc)
View on Reddit #80300302

Few_Category7829@reddit

Clothes, bedding, the bodies of everyone assembled to see him.. anon takes most of his friends and family and like 5 nurses and doctors with him on the way out
View on Reddit #80300873

ExoTheFlyingFish@reddit

Alright, who's got *The Cum Accelerates*?
View on Reddit #80302931

TaserDonut@reddit

The cum accelerates Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.
View on Reddit #80316640

Peen_Round_4371@reddit

Never thought I'd see "the poop accelerates" in the wild in 2026, let alone a cum variation
View on Reddit #80336473

Rockman2isgud@reddit

This one is very old, it might be the original maybeo
View on Reddit #80380069

Laziness2945@reddit

I need AI Attenborough to read this.
View on Reddit #80370196

Nadiadain@reddit

Of course there’s a fucking jojo reference at the end of this
View on Reddit #80349167

TaserDonut@reddit

==[to be continued]=> *Yes - Roundabout starts playing*
View on Reddit #80349231

SpaceBug176@reddit

Oh god I never wanted to remember that.
View on Reddit #80314267

BurnMeTonight@reddit

I think we could actually use this for space travel. Construct a shuttle with nozzle such that only the tip of anon's penis sticks out of the nozzle. At the time of launch, kill anon, and let the cum deluge mark the takeoff. Takeoff is usually the part where you need loads of fuel, so this would save so much fuel. I think that we're about to witness the cumming of cheap, affordable space travel.
View on Reddit #80357481

Reading_username@reddit

Ever seen the Hancock deleted scenes? Basically shooting holes in the ceiling at that point.
View on Reddit #80301845

coltrainjones@reddit

Should've just called it hand cock
View on Reddit #80302631

Mroder1@reddit

This is just more reason to watch more porn, to dedicate my life to the biggest nut ever
View on Reddit #80364662

DCorsoLCF@reddit

Dude, that sounds awesome. I need to start watching porn. 
View on Reddit #80364272

Juliuscesear1990@reddit

Oooof how many times has this screenshot been reposted to be this bad of quality
View on Reddit #80301053

Nadiadain@reddit

A good 9 years of reposting does that to an image
View on Reddit #80349234

ronshasta@reddit

99% of it was finding the right video
View on Reddit #80348075

loscapos5@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/uklhmgals6og1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94c20cb57a4b1d254a65d990f8fa29a12236f59c
View on Reddit #80319557

thermitethrowaway@reddit

That's how I want to go.
View on Reddit #80318115

Slide-Maleficent@reddit

>\> describes an absolutely awesome way to die \> 'this is why you all need to stop watching porn' \> mfw anon wants to keep all the good death for himself ![gif](giphy|GrMRh6ukoIMhpkeTHM)
View on Reddit #80309138

Skyp_Intro@reddit

That’s why I need to watch more porn.
View on Reddit #80304511

FrenchPressYes@reddit

As long as it's in 4k
View on Reddit #80300118

ObviousComment1@reddit

Porn in 4K, Greentext screenshot in 144p
View on Reddit #80303134

Jonesbro@reddit (OP)

This bitch been passed around for 9 years. We're lucky there's any pixels left
View on Reddit #80303833

Dempzt00@reddit

Been passed around more than OPs mother
View on Reddit #80303258

fluxrider@reddit

Thank you, hadn't laughed out loud in days.
View on Reddit #80302842

TheFrenchSavage@reddit

Pfff, 50y of hardcore porn would give me a slight tingle.
View on Reddit #80302464

TechZero35@reddit

Real. OP came back from the dead just to post this message on 4chan
View on Reddit #80300587

osamaelseify2@reddit

Crazy that post lasted 8 min now
View on Reddit #80300475