What is another term you use for "Thumbing in a softie"?

Part of it for some will be a mental barrier which is difficult to overcome of admitting (not to the partner even, but to themselves) that they aren't able to get hard in the situation. Either alcohol induced issues and/or age related cause...it doesn't matter, many men can feel as though they are "failing" by being unable to become erect while in such a position with an attractive naked woman. I have no experience with either, but can only guess it may be slightly similar to how a person who is unable to have kids (sperm issue or womb issues) might feel in that they may feel they are "failing" at the thing they "should" be able to do biologically