Moved from UK to Aus 1 month ago, not sure it feels right
Posted by paddlepopkid@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 56 comments
I suppose the question is: has anyone ever had a quick turnaround and moved back to where they left? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
My story:
So I am from Australia but left 10+ years ago. I lived abroad and in the UK (London) for most of that. I did COVID in London. In 2020 I really wanted to return to Aus, for the outdoors mostly.
I met my husband (from a third country), got married, got pregnant, and 1 month ago we finally moved to Aus with the idea that we were relocating. I am still employed in the UK but on maternity leave.
In London we were largely happy. We like theatre, arts and culture, pubs, parks and the restaurant scene. We had some good friends around us and a community, although some friends had left over the years. A few years ago I was financially very stressed but we did a good job at saving and were ok (ie. Survived beginning of the cost of living crisis).
The reason for the move to Aus was because I "did the math". I thought we could have the baby, move in with my parents and work and save money. I thought everything would be better here, including healthcare, the outdoors, people treating each other better etc. In London in the last two years there was a huge growth in ASB in our area, and the NHS is pretty terrible. The UK has been going through a lot since COVID (or 2018, or 2008, depending when you start counting!) And cost of living goes up but conditions don't really improve.
Anyway, we have been here almost a month and its been challenging. Prettt much everything is indeed objectively "better". The roads are good (few potholes!), people are friendly and trusting so it also feels safer, the health are system is like night and day to the UK.
But my biggest issue is that I feel like the city (suburbs) is just so very small. Birds are nice, trees are quite nice, but actually everything seems so very boring. I hate the hot weather and driving everywhere, and we dont have any community around us (and our community hardly exists here so its largely not happening). Australians are very into sports or even the beach, and we aren't. I had thought that as a soon-to-be parent I was making "the right choice". I should add my family relationships have also not been easy and I now appreciate should not influence what decision we make. We aren't a close family. Property here is also insanely expansive, and the idea that a far out suburban property would cost more than in London is unfathomable to me.
I am torn whether we should stay or not. It just feels so culturally SMALL and like I have stepped backwards 10 years, and when its such a huge part of our lives and how we socialise I'm not convinced. If I make a comparison, it feels like dating someone who is right on paper vs what they're actually like and what suits you.
Anyone been in a similar position or have any wisdom to add?
peter_tait@reddit
One thing I would say is having a baby shortly will make going to the theatre, pubs, restaurants a different experience!
GuestOnly7821@reddit
This! After the baby, it’s the support you’d really need. And when they’re a couple years old, the feeling of them not having to layer up to go outdoors six months a year will make you want to prefer Australia!
orange_lizard-@reddit
Im in exactly the same situation, been in Adelaide for 2 months after living the the UK for 7 years (originally from NZ). missing the UK like crazy, I know deep down the aussie life style isnt for me, I like the beach but I need more than that! I miss the greenery of london, the lovely countryside walks, the theater and pubs. As you said assie life is beach, sports and sun and I dont love those enough.
I have spoken to my partner and think we will move back in 2 years time, make the most of being here and then go back
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
I hope you can enjoy the next two years <3
Why did you choose Adelaide? (And not Sydney or Melbourne?) We are also trying to enjoy it. Part of me worries about the UK though and whether by the time to move back we won't be able to justify it in terms of safety, money, cost of living etc. So I just really hope things will get better!
orange_lizard-@reddit
My UK partner got a job here and he wanted to live somewhere different. I wouldnt have left otherwise which i dont think helps my feelings
Im worried about that with returning as well, worried that I will then not feel at home anywhere
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Ah I see, that's quite difficult. Home is a funny thing. I think spending a long time in a place and making it your own, plus having a partner, a place can then become home.
I still felt somewhat foreign in London after 10 years, but every year it decreased. It was things like not getting all of the cultural references - but over time I would learn them. So I suppose I'm thinking that it's really about time in the end and building something for yourself, and not expecting that feeling immediately. Just my 2 cents!
Trick_Highlight6567@reddit
I'm from the UK and now live in Australia and I agree with all your points about Australia. It's small (literally and culturally), car centric, mostly warm and most of the culture is beaches and sport. And I have said many times that Australia is a decade behind the UK/Europe! I'm happy because I LOVE beaches and sport and warm weather, and would struggle to move back to the UK because I'd miss all that, but if you don't like it then you don't like it. Having said that, if I were you I'd give it more than a month. I'd also try and get into the things that make Australia good; beaches, surfing, being outside etc. If it's still not working in 12-18 months you can alwys move back.
PpepsS@reddit
Oh really a decade behind? When I visited in 2019, it felt ahead of Germany. E.G. self checkout in many stores. But maybe we are also just behind :(
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Its a decade behind culturally. I'll give an example, I was listening to the radio while driving (of course) and they were joking about how a transgender person is perfect for undercover work, is it a man? Is it a woman? There's also quite a "blokey" culture on the radio too (and in general) which has sexist undertones. I always used to defend Australia before when Europeans would say things about it being a bit "casually racist/sexist" etc. but now having come from abroad that sort of conversation or tone is just not appropriate and wouldn't be considered funny. And I am sure in 10 years they will realise that here too.
Zweidreifierfunf@reddit
Was this Kyle and Jackie O?
Professional_Elk_489@reddit
Who listens to the radio though other than old people
syddyke@reddit
We're only a decade behind? LOL it has improved since we first came out here in the 70s, but yes, it still feels a step behind.
I do agree that if you like hot weather, humidity and being outdoors, Australia is the place to be. Don't you find that housing near the coast is too expensive though? And there's a lack of jobs, you can commute or be a tradie. Not many choices.
Trick_Highlight6567@reddit
I don’t find housing that bad but I’m from London. I have bought and sold an apartment and am renting again in inner Melbourne and it’s much more affordable and nicer than the London equivalent. If I was from the north of England I imagine I’d feel differently.
syddyke@reddit
Renting an apartment in Melbourne is a lot more affordable than buying. And Melbourne is a great city. We should have moved down years ago, I prefer it to Sydney.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
I am in Sydney because of family and friends, but think Melbourne would have suited us better. But now I'm not sure there would be a point moving to Melbourne and starting again - I tend to think if we are that far away may as well go back to London.
syddyke@reddit
Melbourne is more like a European city than Sydney, that's why I love it. But it gets hot in Summer.
My mother is from London- Tottenham actually, in the 50s and 60s. Completely different now i know. But she would move back to the UK in a heartbeat if she was physically able.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Thank you, this is helpful! I suppose I am trying to do the thinking through a bit before the baby comes because I suspect I will otherwise be a hormonal mess AND needing to make a decision. So trying to do a mix of both!
Professional_Elk_489@reddit
That makes it sound pretty good though if it's a decade behind. In 2022 Australia was like London 2012, in 2025 it was like UK in 2015
Front_Worried@reddit
This is my fear too. I'm aussie, left 21 years ago and have been in London the whole time. I'm worried about it feeling 'small' and relatively mono-cultured when I get back to Melbourne. I'm moving back to be with family as they get older (Dad is 83 now and hasnt visited London for 3 years). It's not like I'm out in London central drinking it all in every night, but when I do go out the choice is huge. I know I'll feel that loss.
I'm different to you as I do like the beach and after 20+ years in the UK I want an outside lifestyle, not outdoorsy with hikes and all that - i just want to be outside in the warm most of the year. And a health system not on it's knees would be good too!
I've heard aussie mates complain about politics there and just couldnt see the problems they were describing, so i expect to be on the outside for a while.
Honestly I dont know what to expect, but i'm hopefuly and positive that i can find 'my' place there still.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Yes, I think you need to maintain that positivity! 21 years though, wow. I suppose its useful to expect to feel out of it for a while (like a year or so probably). I would say I didn't expect it, and I think that contributed to making it much harder.
A month in and I do see the positives here and have got used to driving around etc. People are actually quite good drivers and the roads are easy. I have got used to the higher (imo) supermarket prices and adapted a bit with what I buy.
People genuinely are very friendly.
I am still not convinced though, and lean towards London, but I have different factors at play.
Probably if I were you I would also be quickly joining some activities like a sports club or language classes or something, anything to get a routine with new people. Or a course at a university - literally anything. I am really missing what I had at work (familiar faces), feeling like I am progressing somehow in life etc.
Good luck - you can do it!
thewildgingerbeast1@reddit
Australia is a dream place for me, but I'm very into nature and wildlife. What part of Australia are you in?
ehdhdhdk@reddit
I imagine Sydney given the property price sentences.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
You would be correct. I find it absolutely absurd - also the general obsession with house buying as a topic on the news, in newspapers etc. And the lack of action to do anything about it (apart from this 5% deposit thing which hasn't really worked elsewhere so I'm not sure why they brought it in here).
Cimb0m@reddit
Yep it’s completely crazy
syddyke@reddit
What you've articulated are reasons I want to back to England. The most basic necessity, housing, is a JOKE in country. We'll go back and buy something outright instead of having a huge mortgage to live over an hour out of Sydney.
DanBennettDJB@reddit
Housing is also a joke in any semi desirable part of the UK
I think maybe for smaller one bed appartments Oz is easier but the problem in the UK is that housing is only affordable in areas where there are no jobs
Cimb0m@reddit
Australia is more of a joke
syddyke@reddit
I've spent quite a bit of time lately looking at UK real estate. As a British Aussie who has travelled a lot in the UK, I know where I'd like to live. When I search those areas, I'm seeing cheaper property than comparing it to Sydney outer metro area which is where we are. $AU 1.5 million for a standard house over 1 hour from Sydney is outrageous, but is the reality now. For £750k in the UK, our money gets us a lot more (not that we'd spend that).
It's really hard to compare 2 countries though, and because we're at the later stage of our working lives, we've got different requirements. We don't need to live near London/in the commuter belt. And we don't need a big house.
DanBennettDJB@reddit
Ah yes that's fair , I'm 34 and coming it as somebody renting a one bed (in Paris ATM though)
Good luck !
DanBennettDJB@reddit
Why not try Melbourne instead of Sydney ?
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Largely because we would have to set up completely again. If that's the case, I would think London is the better option where we already know the work environment, have contacts, have friends.
I think Melbourne would suit us better in terms of personality, but I don't think it's worth the faff as I think a lot of what bothers us here would be similar there, eg. It's still a small place and even further from the rest of the world.
It's probably worth a visit in the coming months though because I am not familiar enough with what Melbourne is like now, and I do know they at least used to have a nicer cafe culture etc. so probably worth us checking out.
I also had had Canberra on my list, and after struggling in Sydney I think I have finally accepted it wouldn't be a good idea!
Cimb0m@reddit
Definitely don’t move to Canberra! It’s like what you’ve described but ten times worse than other Australian capital cities. We’re planning to leave asap (though I’m Australian and previously lived in Sydney and Melbourne)
HootieRocker59@reddit
"Has anyone had a quick turnaround ..."
Not me but a friend: she's originally from UK, and lived in Hong Kong for many years. She moved back to UK to go "home". But she hated it so much she decided to return to HK even before her container arrived (ie within ~3 months).
We all kind of laughed when we heard, and said, "Welcome back!" but the thing was, this was a financially disastrous decision. She had spent a lot of money on the move and then she doubled it. Then, she had to buy in to the insanely expensive HK housing market as a newcomer, and find a new job (very difficult due to ageism). There were other things too, but overall it set back her retirement by a decade and she still ended up in UK at the end.
Please consider the financial implications before you make any emotionally driven decisions.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Ouch. How did she feel in the end? Was she glad she had returned on a day-to-day basis despite the need to work longer? Or did she end up regretting that...?
I think financially we will break even for the year if we return. So not disastrous but not my ideal.
From what I can tell there are pros and cons to each, and we are saved a bit by the fact I still have a stable job. I do think financially Australia is better in some ways, mostly childcare is cheaper (childcare subsidy). But I suppose like your friend I'm not sure even with that that it's worth staying if we aren't so happy. We have held off so far on applying for the partner visa for my husband because it's 10k AUD as well which seems silly if we aren't sure.
But yes definitely difficult trying to judge and manage the finances too while trying to assess our own feelings and what we want! At least we are living with parents so have free rent for now.
HootieRocker59@reddit
Honestly it was horrible for her. She ended up not being able to find a job back in UK either. She is now almost totally broke and living with a family member she doesn't like very much because she has no other option.
Ithrowthisaway4412@reddit
I’ve not been in your position exactly but I have moved between my home country and my new country a few times. There is always a tricky set of feelings for a few months. Can you just give yourself another few months before you make a decision?
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
What motivated each of your moves? Were you ever thinking one was permanent?
We do have a few months to decide, but I am trying to do some thinking before we give birth because I have heard afterwards it can be more difficult (hormonal). It's more like gathering insight atm.
Zealousideal_Trip661@reddit
Setting aside any time pressure around mat leave and having to decide whether you go back to your old job or stick to Australia, one month is pretty short in the grand scheme of things, particularly when you have major life changes like having a baby and moving across the world.
I left where I am from a long time ago but, particularly as my parents age, still have moments of doubt. I try to make the old “pro and con” list in my head and work out dealbreakers and things I can change easily.
Is there a “middle ground” anywhere for you? If you are missing the metropolitan life of London, could you find a place in the middle of an Australian city where you can get the city stuff but still within range of support from your family?
Also consider that your priorities may change as your baby grows up, nights out, nice restaurants, and the like may take a backseat to parks, schools, and kid activities!
It is an ever changing adventure so whatever decision you make won’t be the end of the world! Everything is figureoutable in the end!
Best of luck OP and enjoy your journey!
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Thank you - and I do agree that it's a journey and things can be figured out and changed if needed!
We actually had a very down to earth lifestyle in London, and spent most weekends going to parks with a coffee. In some ways a bit repetitive but we liked it. But the difference was being able to walk outside and have cafes and people around, and lovely parks. Not having to drive all the way there! I suppose think of the difference between most European cities and then the sort of American/Australian commuter style.
Moving closer in could be helpful, but the property prices are really insane, and it doesn't solve some of the other things like feeling like everything is just smaller, less international etc.
So that's a bit our dilemma, but I do appreciate the thinking so thank you!
fancycakelover@reddit
No advice, but as someone who has considered moving to Australia your experience has given me pause.
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Pause is probably good, but just know that I really thought through the decision. I thought I liked beaches and just hadn't gone that much when younger. I thought family dynamics had improved. I thought I wanted something (back garden, more greenery) etc. That when presented to me hasn't been what I remembered or thought it would be.
So I don't know what the message is. I've come to terms with the idea that we could move back and it's ok not to have known, but it's been a difficult adjustment when you think you know something.
Also, Sydney at least has changed. Cafes close at 3pm. Having not lived here for so long I really didn't know that. There are great things. Perhaps my mistake was having not made frequent enough trips here beforehand to really understand it.
drunkpepita@reddit
I just moved to london last and and so far i hate:
and yet despite all that I can’t imagine going back to australia. I miss the clear skies and nature and beaches and hot people and open roads and fresh produce and YET I will be here indefinitely. Australia feels like going 10 steps backwards. It’s a very conservative, lazy country and you can’t see it until you leave. TBF, so is the UK, but London is an outlier. I wouldn’t live in the UK if London didn’t exist lol
I’d go back to australia to give birth though. The healthcare is elite and it’s good to be around your family in that period... but you can come straight back. or be inbetweenthe two for a while until you have a clearer idea of the lifestyle you want
oh and if ww3 breaks out you know which country im going to
paddlepopkid@reddit (OP)
Haha I agree with most of your list and you even got the ww3 part which I've also considered! Funny how I can definitely tell you are living there based just on what you have said.
A few things though:
You also hit the nail on the head as to why I came back. I read too many horror stories about maternity care and just didn't want to do it. I know most of the time it's probably fine, but honestly... and yes the care here has been far better, although I am also paying for some of it. Still much more promising!
Your message helped, I feel like you captured it somehow, so thank you!
GypsyGirlinGi@reddit
"It’s a very conservative, lazy country and you can’t see it until you leave."
Totally agree, I didn't know what I didn't know until I moved to Europe.
Next-Ninja-8399@reddit
I know quite a few people made this change and left very quickly. The ones who stuck around for work commitment were very miserable. Same story, the new place is beach centric. If it is not your thing, it is not. There are lots of kids friendly places that are free in London and within walking distance. The NHS is great for kids and it is free. If you live in an affluent and well funded area, the NHS is good. Same day appointment. Health visitor home visit including vaccine.
UnshakableProtocol@reddit
Personally, I'd go back. Arts, culture, and the feeling of living in a vibrant city are top values to me. It would kill me inside to be in a place without that kind of stimulation. Ultimately, each person has their own set of values they care about the most, no one here can tell you what's more important to you.
Neverland__@reddit
Which city?
Most of my, how do you say, smart and driven friends who moved to London find Australia soooooooooo boring and won’t move back. Maybe you are in this crowd. FWIW I am US based from Sydney and I got visit like 1-2 months a year which fills the cup but never moving back. Sleepy af, nothing going on, boring job market
Crystal-Drama6927@reddit
give it time it takes months to fully adjust
LizP1959@reddit
Yes: after having worked and lived happily and well for several years each in France, in Canada, and in the US, I got a great job offer in the UK. I sold almost everything and moved there. Very soon I loathed it there—caution everyone, it’s very different to live in a place for the short periods I had worked in UK (a month, three months) than it is to live there permanently, as if this isn’t dead obvious—-but I was forced to stay there one full year, because that was in my contract. I then quit the very moment it was contractually legal to do so, and left and got a much better job in the US.
A place you enjoy for a few months may not work out as permanent, even if you’re a polyglot frequent traveler and expat.
Hopeful_Hunt6988@reddit
I lived in Austrailia for a year backin 2013 its has its pros and cons we lived in perth it was backward and uninspiring yet it did have its perks at times
Backward and uninspiring as compared to europe
BIG asian influence
Good salarys
BitterCaregiver1301@reddit
Thats alot of effort just to fly back lol
LoyalteeMeOblige@reddit
I'm not going to comment on what others already said since they are mostly right but a month is not enough as to have a clear view or where you are, if you tell us in a year this is still what you feel, yes, get out.
theGIRTHQUAKE@reddit
You’re about to have a kid. Your life as you knew it in London was going to grind to a complete halt for years anyway. Having family around to help with your newborn and toddler will be an absolute game changer—life with small children and no help is brutal. Boring and predictable is a good thing for those first few years, your entire life will be centered around your little one(s) and environmental stability reduces at least some stress.
You say you aren’t close to your family, so I don’t know if they’ll help. If they won’t, then the arguments for London are certainly stronger. In any case, I’d give it a little more time than a month…I recognize everything you’re saying about Australia (with a grain of salt, I’ve only ever visited), but there’s a lot of beauty there as well (physical and cultural). You may find a niche after all, but you’ll have to work extra hard at it because it’s very easy to become hella isolated with young children dominating your existence, even in the best of environments.
Dizzy-Abroad323@reddit
Give it more time. I moved from London to Australia in October 2025 and I had very similar feelings to start. I’m now starting to feel more established in terms of work, savings and interests.
My best advice is not to rush yourself - take time to breathe before making decisions. Also, stop comparing everything to London; it’s a mega city with its ups and downs. Try to appreciate your current environment. Most Brits would bite your arm off to live down under.
The-American-Abroad@reddit
You’ve been there a month. Give it a couple years before making any decisions.
HackerBaboon@reddit
Give it at-least 6 months to a year, takes time to adjust to any big life change