Unethical Sysadmin Tips

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scotchtape22@reddit

need help identifying a poorly documented system? unplug it and see who complains!

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CaptainFluffyTail@reddit

[Echo Locational Trouble Shooting](https://i.imgflip.com/7vyry6.jpg) h/t to /u/DrunkyMcStumbles for the original phrase.

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hellphish@reddit

I prefer the Acoustic Node Utilization Survey, or ANUS test.

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BadCorvid@reddit

It's actually part of our decom process. Scream test: Shut it down and see if anyone screams. If no one screams in a month, delete it.

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It might a stretch to call a scream test unethical, but when done capriciously or because an admin couldn't be arsed to do the work to figure it out it is definitely unprofessional and in certain situations potentially life threatening.

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OptimalCynic@reddit

Look, if you've got a better way to test out heart-lung bypass machines I'd like to hear it.

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pdp10@reddit

I doubt you'll hear any screaming when turning one of those off.

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Naznarreb@reddit

Look, I asked around, no one seemed to know anything so I'm sure it'll be fine.

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wazza_the_rockdog@reddit

In my defence I thought a heart-lung bypass machine was meant to be bypassed.

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scotchtape22@reddit

Yeah, its not really something that should be the first approach, but sometimes it just needs to be done.

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Sgt_Dashing@reddit

No joke, we do this if no one knows the environment. Works almost every time.

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ARasool@reddit

Even better when the DBA comes speed walking through the halls and has sweat down their face.

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Sgt_Dashing@reddit

yall make my day here lmao

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G8racingfool@reddit

Scream testing is a useful tool. Not always the one you want to resort to first, but if the situation calls for it...

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AppIdentityGuy@reddit

I come from a military family and I refer to this as reconnaissance by fire.

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platt1num@reddit

Somebody called it “technical echolocation” and I’m using it from now on.

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markth_wi@reddit

Right up there with "percussive maintenance."

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mustangsal@reddit

During my career, it started as Scream Testing, but migrated to Technical Echolocation, then when we remembered to write down the who, what, and why, it became Technical Echolocation Documentation. Welcome to my TED talk.

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reduhl@reddit

Well played

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RevLoveJoy@reddit

// *slow clap*

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Reynk1@reddit

We use it as the go to when no one apparently owns the server/vm etc. fastest most efficient route

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dracotrapnet@reddit

Just beware sometimes finance and accounting only look for certain things on various cycles. Weekly check printing, monthly, journal turn over, quarterly reporting, twice yearly audits, and yearly tax season when the blood boiling begins.

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Reynk1@reddit

App teams are accountable for there service/servers etc. regardless there is a 28 day stand down before removing specifically to catch monthly processing If your yearly/monthly processes are relying on a random unidentified/unmaintained/unsupported systems you have bigger problems

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m0le@reddit

I worked on a tema that got bit by this. We had a small cluster of VMs that were only used once a year to generate bonuses and assorted letters. Central IT (who in theory maintained the OS level patching etc) decides to scream test them, no-one noticed because why would we when they're used once a year? Central IT was very, very unpopular when bonuses were delayed because they'd deleted those servers and the backups.

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lonewanderer812@reddit

I decommed a 2012 r2 server at my last job a couple years ago. I couldn't find any information on who owned it and no one on my team thought it was being used anymore. So I shut it down for a good 6 months and never heard anything so I killed it. Shortly after that I moved to another job and one day got a text from the manager there asking if I knew anything about that server. We're good friends so I was happy to answer. Told him I killed it right before I left. Apparently someone used it once a year for something and they tried to log in and it was gone. Our backups only went back 3 months so the whole thing was gone. I couldn't help but laugh a little but felt bad for the shit storm my team got. FWIW they do a lot better job at documenting every server they control so any of the newer stuff has a fully documented purpose and owner.

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english-23@reddit

Yeah, "oh we got rid of that 60 days ago and now there's no backup to restore from" since they only use it every quarter

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NuArcher@reddit

"acoustic node ownership survey"

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alpha417@reddit

"Accoustic Node Utilization Survey" Just cause they use it doesn't mean they own it.

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shotsallover@reddit

The ANOS? Pronounce it how you like.

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icemanix@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/5pczss0yh1kb1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae5a99f4ddce240bf3d8e5394b0ab5911c89c861 Taken from another sysadmin thread last week.

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bob_cramit@reddit

sometimes better than the alternative, which is looking through logs which might not tell you the whole story or even worse, asking users how much they use x. "oh i need that all the time" is what youll get from several people. Just turn it off/disable connections, several months later, "oh i need this thing". Cool, no probs ill get that sorted for you. Now you know you have 1 user that uses it infreqently and you can probably ditch it for something else.

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AWeakerStrength@reddit

Keep it for 6 months or a year, there's always that person that one time

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Tiwenty@reddit

Tested and used a lot at work haha

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kimjongunderdog@reddit

That's just called 'scream testing'.

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kweiske@reddit

The "Scream Test"

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sick2880@reddit

We call this echo location.

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Ok_SysAdmin@reddit

We do that too. We call it the "Scream Test" see who screams.

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Mission-Tutor-6361@reddit

This is an actual thing people do. Not sure if it qualifies as unethical.

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Claidheamhmor@reddit

We lost a system recently. Several years back, I managed a shared web server (actually, a bunch) used by several applications. Our team was split up, and we went to different areas, and the team responsible for the most important application kept the web servers, though all of the rest of us had access. Well, they decommissioned their application, decommed the servers, had the server team shut the servers down in Dev, Integration, QA, and Prod, delete the servers, and deleted all backups, all on the same day. While I was on leave. (The decom and deleting of backups was not even the server teams own process - they usually have a 3 week shutdown period). A colleague and a dev had to rebuild the entire system from source code (which we still had somewhere - the app had not been updated in years), on alternative servers. Fun.

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Volakile@reddit

Sometimes this is the only way to get critical upgrades to core systems. Out of support core switching with no redundancy? Unplug one of the switches and watch half the business go down. 'Yes FD, we need to invest in this stacked core switch configuration if you dont want this to happen again, redundant power and data links are critical to your operation, and your old switching is out of support' Signed, filed, and upgrade on its way.  There's probably better ways to push an upgrade of aging kit, but this works FAST.

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GullibleDetective@reddit

Documenting by echo location sometimes is a valid thing provided you talk to absolutely everyone and do your due diligence before

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EATherrian@reddit

This is literally part of our server decom process. Now the people we know are using it are part of the process but we turn off the network for a week before the real decom to root out any others.

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say592@reddit

Yup, warn everyone it's going off then on the cutoff date turn it off knowing full well you will probably be turning it back on later. Also always leave leave them off and in place for at least a week, preferably longer. There is always that one random function that someone only does occasionally.

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scotchtape22@reddit

Yep that is pretty common.

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WitchyWoo7@reddit

We call this the scream test.

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newbies13@reddit

How is this unethical?

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benderunit9000@reddit

same thing with service accounts.

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scotchtape22@reddit

Depends on the system for AD I think you can set those up to auto deactivate if no one uses them for a week or so.

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hyjnx@reddit

Been taking over an environment thats just been built upon for some time. Poorly labeled switch ports everything. Been doing this alot. So far we're doing pretty good determining what's live and isn't.

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spazmo_warrior@reddit

ah, the old “scream test”

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bmelancon@reddit

I've had to do that several times. A few of those times, no one ever complained.

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gorramfrakker@reddit

Smoke test aka scream test.

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l00pee@reddit

A smoke test is different from a scream test. A smoke test is when you change something and you see if it still works and you didn't break it - let the smoke out. A scream test is as described above; you don't know what something does or if it is needed, so you disable it and see if someone screams. You can do a smoke test, someone else potentially responds to the scream test. Smoke test is often done in code, scream test is most often infrastructure.

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dgillott@reddit

Same its actual part of our "Game days" shut it all off., unlplug it or something and see who says what!

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Kritchsgau@reddit

Yeah the other way to this is whats this device on this switchport, disable and see who whinges.

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Tovervlag@reddit

In Dutch we call this 'de piep methode' (the squeaking method). See who starts complaining yes. :)

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IndigoTechCLT@reddit

That's good. I like "scream testing" as well.

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RagnarKon@reddit

Hate the change control process with all of its approvals, meetings, and red tape??? Wait until it breaks, and then suddenly you can make whatever change you want, no approvals or meetings necessary.

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adsarelies@reddit

Yes, for that particular change, you win. But, in such an environment that loves their meetings and approvals, this will only result in even MORE meetings in the future, you know, to "make sure that this won't happen again". The resolution from those meetings will inevitably be even MORE approvals and procedures and red tape.

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StaffOfDoom@reddit

But that’s a problem for future me…

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alwaysdnsforver@reddit

*gets scheduled for 14 root cause analysis meetings

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PsychologicalRevenue@reddit

Whoa there satan, a customer facing production server was down, and we STILL would have to at LEAST get verbal approval from our manager, if he was out of the office, call, if he didn't answer, try again? If he didn't answer again try his manager? Who cares that you're now adding potentially hundreds of hours for other teams to audit a data stream accuracy? THERE ARE PRO-CE-DURES!

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kiss_my_what@reddit

It's not a crash, it's a "dynamically scheduled maintenance opportunity"

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satanmat2@reddit

I'll add that to the list... Data Exfiltration? Surprise offsite backup.

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juitar@reddit

>dynamically scheduled maintenance opportunity haha, awesome. I am saving that one

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Cooleb09@reddit

Forget Maintenance, I once new a project engineer at a refinery who would wait until OPs broke somehting and needed to isolate to repair, and would have his crew use the 'free' isolation/outage to start doing project shit, and of course once they ahevs tarted you ahve to elt them finish...

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kruschman@reddit

I think your keyboard is broken.

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Totentanz1980@reddit

wha tdoy oum ean ?

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OGReverandMaynard@reddit

I do this too. If I’m waiting on a change approval and the shit breaks, I use it as an opportunity to implement my changes. I’ll usually include that in some kind of report that my fix was to implement the changes.

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phamilyguy@reddit

My old manager used to say "never let a good crisis go to waste"

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Robba078@reddit

Your manager was quoting Churchill, nevertheless I agree with the statement

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BestSystem1@reddit

Mine is "it's broken in production and customer \[xyz\] complained." Then I get to quickly do whatever I need to do to fix it quickly.

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SilentSamurai@reddit

Just write the process document the way you want and watch as you just implicitly enforced a direction on the company.

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FluidGate9972@reddit

I fondly remember the log4j days. I could make more changes in those 2 first days (with approval) than the rest of the year.

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jeezarchristron@reddit

If I get bothered to much by a vendor there email and other contact info gets posted here [https://www.muguguestbook.com/](https://www.muguguestbook.com/) Its rotten to do but it stops them from calling back due to the amount of spam email, calls and text it generates.

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gorramfrakker@reddit

The hell is that website!

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jeezarchristron@reddit

It was one of many mugu sites created by [https://www.419eater.com/](https://www.419eater.com/) The idea was to scam the scammers. you would toss up your throwaway contact info to trigger loads of spam and then start responding to the scammers is some real funny ways to waste their time and money. Site is not very active but has all the email history of some real funny anti scams. The wooden commodore 64 is one of my favorites.

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IllCauliflower399@reddit

The site was not created by 419eater, it was created by me independently, although I used to participate on the forums regularly back in the day :) Also, it's been a few years since you were able to post other people's emails on it, you get a confirmation link sent to your email these days. Anyway thanks for the mention, I've had 15x the usual traffic today, had to check the logs to see where it was all coming from!

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jeezarchristron@reddit

Wish it was still as active as it was a few years back. I fought hard to get a wooden Xbox.

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_RexDart@reddit

"mugu" is Nigerian for "fool"

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Newbosterone@reddit

\*cough\*mailbait\*cough\*.

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einsteinonabike@reddit

Too much effort. My go-to for things that make you provide an email - sbux / airport wifi, trial gym signup - is support@company.com

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Cylerhusk@reddit

Whoever owns no@thanks.com has definitely gotten a ton of junk thanks to me.

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merc123@reddit

No@spam.com has been outlawed in most places for me :(

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mkosmo@reddit

I’ve contributed to their spam box as well

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raindropsdev@reddit

What if you have to click on a link to confirm?

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TheGooOnTheFloor@reddit

DuckDuck's extension allows you to set up a random e-mail address that forwards e-mail to the account you registered with them. Once you have the link, you can disable the random address and never see mail sent there again. But as somebody said 10minutemail is a good option.

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raindropsdev@reddit

Uh, I didn't know about the DuckDuckGo email function, thank you!

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zolakk@reddit

That's why I just use 10minutemail.com, works every time I've used it

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MrFirewall@reddit

Youarean@sshole.com

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Disorderly_Chaos@reddit

I use that email when scammers send my people a fake website asking for their password

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Aim_Fire_Ready@reddit

Fastmail has masked email for this purpose. Quick and easy.

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Sovos@reddit

Email support@company.com and ask what the confirmation code was in the previous ticket

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ObeseBMI33@reddit

Log into support@company.com

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tc982@reddit

Been using who@cares.com for years now.

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no_your_other_right@reddit

My go-to is pro@biteme.com. Thanks, MST3K.

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silentstorm2008@reddit

Poop@aol.com for me

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TheGooOnTheFloor@reddit

So you're the bastard that caused me to receive all that spam! :)

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lechango@reddit

I prefer your@mom.com

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masheduppotato@reddit

I always go with im@yourmoms.net

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AbruptGravy@reddit

I infrequently used [me@me.com](mailto:me@me.com) then at some point I found out that [me.com](https://me.com) was an actual (I believe apple) email domain name. Still will use it on occasion.

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technologite@reddit

Fuck@you.com Works way more than you would expect

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eXtc_be@reddit

I've been known to use noneof@yourbusiness.com on occasion

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quiet0n3@reddit

test@test.com

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xDerpScopes@reddit

testies@deeznutz.com

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MrDaVernacular@reddit

Test@test.com usually works pretty well although some companies are now using input validation to look for those bogus email accounts now though. Probably using a regular expression to catch them?

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xanax_weekend@reddit

But anyone with a half-decent help desk platform is gonna filter this into junk...

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mr_data_lore@reddit

Do you actually think most companies have a half decent help desk platform?

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Boonaki@reddit

Oracle

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zaltec_@reddit

I used me@here.now for a decade during early internet days before TLD field validation became a thing :(

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DonkeyHodie@reddit

When you deploy a new file server, on each volume, create a hidden folder, and then fill that folder with a bunch of empty files using dd. Take up like 20 or 30 percent of the volume. If your back end has decent de-dupe, it doesn't really matter, since that space is not really used, but on an end-user's workstation, it will look 30 percent full, according to the file explorer or finder. Then, later, when they complain about their disk filling up, just delete a bunch of those empty files. It will look like you're a magician when you can magically find more space for them. Note this only works if you still have available space on the back end. But it's easier than trying to explain provisioned vs used space, much less trying to explain de-dupe and compression. They just know you're awesome for increasing their disk space.

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DonkeyHodie@reddit

I love the pedants on an "unethical tips" request.

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pdp10@reddit

It's not de-dupe you need if you're filling from `/dev/zero`, it's "Thin Provisioning". The difference matters especially in situations where one or both features are separately licensed.

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xCharg@reddit

And then when theres nothing to delete user will insist you do whatever was that thing you did previously and refuse to delete anything on their own because it wasn't needed before so why would they now. I don't see how this is useful tbh.

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baconmanaz@reddit

It’s also way more work up front for something you can easily do with the VM. Add more space and grow the drive. Or if you insist on doing it beforehand, set partition smaller than the drive size and expand as necessary.

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HWKII@reddit

Change control is for losers. Package that shit up and full send, fuck it, chuck it style.

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Luc-e@reddit

You forgot, send it on a friday 4pm

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HWKII@reddit

9a Monday baaaaabeeeeeee

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attacktwinkie@reddit

Nope, I'm out on vacation Monday

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yuhyuhyuhAYYY@reddit

Purposefully ignore tech support related emails/messages for a couple hours just to respond with “sorry got caught up in a something, in the future use the help desk to submit a ticket for a much fast response time”

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attacktwinkie@reddit

Ah, the bypass the helpdesk tax

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attacktwinkie@reddit

One got that annoyed me. I set his password to expire every 7 hours.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

And become [part of the problem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_job) It's not only unethical, it's actively harmful to innocent bystanders and other victims.

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DougEubanks@reddit

You're a salesperson aren't you?

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NotYourNanny@reddit

No, I'm an IT guy who has run mail servers, and seen Joe jobs, and been the victim of one or two. Get a clue, loser, or at least follow the link. You're definitely part of the problem. And now that it's been explained to you, you're a *deliberate* part of the abuse. You are, literally, aiding and abetting the harassment. On purpose.

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FireLucid@reddit

Murder is the unlawful killing or another human. Now I've explained it to you, you are part of the murder. Yeah, that checks out /s

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NotYourNanny@reddit

Go follow the link. Or admit that you knew all along that what's proposed is abetting harassment of victims, and that was your intent. There's no other possibility. Either you're completely clueless, or you're part of the problem.

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FireLucid@reddit

Some asking if you are a salesman (probably half in jest) is proof that they are a deliberate part of spam abuse? 'Literally' as you stated. I'd seriously take some time for some self reflection about why that statement got you so worked up that you started name calling and leaping to wild assumptions. Banter like this among professionals is pretty normal in a team and on this sub. Least of all, your blood pressure will thankyou. Peace.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

> Some asking if you are a salesman (probably half in jest) is proof that they are a deliberate part of spam abuse? 'Literally' as you stated. Yes. They are defending - knowingly, with the link I posted - a *very* abusing practice. This entire thread is based on the premise that the From: address in an email is accurate and connects to the person sending it. That is not true, and so *obviously* not true that only a moron could possibly believe it these days. The link explained it. He *kept* defending the practice of harassing whoever has the From: address *knowing it may or may not be connected to the sender*. Are you a moron? If not, you're defending a very, very abusive practice.

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FireLucid@reddit

You are knowingly defending having no emotional intelligence, self control and introspection. I'd ask you to have a sit down and think about bettering yourself but you just seem to come out calling names again. If you are just trolling, I tip my hat to you, you've done a great job. If you are actually feeling this vitriol over people giving out silly tips, I am sorry you have to live like that. Be glad you don't have to work with people that see real shit and get by with pretty dark humour, your head might explode. Peace.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

> You are knowingly defending having no emotional intelligence, self control and introspection. Which is far better than defending abusive practices that abet harassment.

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FireLucid@reddit

Based on the downvotes from your peers it sounds like you are on your own there, but as you admitted the above deficiencies in self control and introspection, I don't think that'll bother you at all.

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TinyKeyF@reddit

Jesus dude, take a break from the internet why don't you.

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DougEubanks@reddit

It was in jest, but they have replied back twice with personal accusations.

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FireLucid@reddit

There we go. Worked up over nothing. I left some subs that were somewhat amusing but would also get me annoyed a bit and it's honestly made my day just that little bit better.

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DougEubanks@reddit

I use my real name as my username. There's no anonymity on the Internet and it keeps me from getting sucked into flame wars or personal attacks. It's worked out well for years, but this conversation took a wild ride. :-) Have a great night..

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heretogetpwned@reddit

I read the link and that's a fucking stretch, OP was talking about submitting someone else's email when you need to enter one to download (see RVTools download). Not modifying headers. You're in over your head(er) lol

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NotYourNanny@reddit

> I read the link and that's a fucking stretch, You're an idiot. It's not as common as it used to be, but it's still common enough. I've seen it too many times myself to believe you're anything other than clueless.

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heretogetpwned@reddit

I lol that your lack of comprehension makes me an idiot. OP was not Joe Jobbing, idk why you stuck your neck out so far to be offended, but fuck you anyways.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

> OP was not Joe Jobbing That is precisely what he proposed. If you're too stupid to understand that, you're part of the problem.

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heretogetpwned@reddit

No, it's not. You're in over your head and misunderstood everything. You're deleting your posts because you know you're wrong. I'd suggest getting some education, experience, or leaving this career. It's not for you, obviously.

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YetAnotherGeneralist@reddit

I've found that not insulting people I wish to convince of something works better than insulting them.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

Well, there's your mistake. I'm not trying to convince you, or anyone else, of anything. I'm insulting you. Glad to know it's going well. I mean, sure, it's a fun revenge fantasy to masturbate to, but it's still *defending* a very abusive practice, and you know it. Now fuck off, loser.

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DougEubanks@reddit

I'm an IT guy who ran mail servers too. I also get 5-6 cold calls a day from scummy sales people. I also get 40-50 UCE messages a day advertising random IT junk from more sales people. They all think they are just making a living, but I spend 30 minutes a day wasting time with these fools and they aren't innocent bystanders. Good luck...

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NotYourNanny@reddit

None of which changes the fact that sending stuff to the From: address in a spam is not necessarily sending it to the sender. Did you follow the link? You should. It's pretty clear to me that if you ever did run a mail server, you didn't do it very well.

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DougEubanks@reddit

You make a lot of assumptions.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

The only assumption that matters here is the assumption that the From: address in an email is in any way connected to the sender. Read the fucking link. It's not speculation. It's a long established form of abused used by spammers to punish people who offend them. Send a billion emails with *your* address in the From: line, preferably one that's obviously a criminal scam, and see how much you like that. You are *defending this practice*. You are part of the problem.

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tgrantt@reddit

I think you ARE my nanny.

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NotYourNanny@reddit

> I think I see no evidence of that.

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KeysToTheKingdomMin@reddit

Neutral evil it is 🎲

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CalasOfNurgle@reddit

I found the CSM

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DangerIllObinson@reddit

If you admin a box, starting sshd in debug mode and attaching strace to the process can show you each character sent by the client ssh connection, even during the password entry portion by an incoming ssh connection. I definitely don't advise doing this on any system you don't own (i.e. don't do it at work), but it can also serve as a reminder that you're essentially giving away your password to any strange or unknown server you're logging into, so be careful where you go sticking your ssh attempt.

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SuperElitist@reddit

If only there was some way to confirm who you were connecting to, some sort of file you might keep with a list of hosts, that are... known, perhaps?

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Roland_Bodel_the_2nd@reddit

I remember sitting in a security meeting like that once; “what if a user SSHs to the wrong machine that we don’t control and types their password; now we need to consider that password compromised…” I don’t remember the outcome at the time, probably nothing, but the in the modern era we use 2FA.

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JPJackPott@reddit

No certs?

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Roland_Bodel_the_2nd@reddit

Sure, you can do all kinds of things with certs or keys or even make them all ephemeral these days.

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TinyKeyF@reddit

> but it can also serve as a reminder that you're essentially giving away your password to any strange or unknown server you're logging into, so be careful where you go sticking your ssh attempt. Isn't that kinda the whole point of the known_hosts keys?

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DangerIllObinson@reddit

Yeah, It is. But is that routinely ignored because people connect to a number of servers in a corporate environment once every two years and they're fatigued from typing yes, or they've added "StrictHostKeyChecking no" to their \~/.ssh/config because it was hanging their scripts, or the server/container they're logging into is rebuilt daily, or because an update to the sshd on the server caused a host key regen and thusly prompted again. Also, Yeah. If prompted for a host key, definitely should know why you are typing "yes", but if 99% of the time it's a valid reason - people just start typing "yes" anyways.

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crest_@reddit

Just dtrace the PAM auth token function.

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MandelbrotFace@reddit

Wow, didn't know this was a thing. Gonna try it on my home system to see it in action

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PossiblyLinux127@reddit

Promoting products from companies you don't work at (I'm looking at you Microsoft direhards)

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ChumpyCarvings@reddit

Sir have you never heard of Apple people?

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GoogleDrummer@reddit

Right? Most people I know who are M$ friendly are so because that's how they make money; supporting those systems. But we all are more than comfortable pointing out their shortcomings, which there are a lot of. Apple people on the other hand, are damn near cult level of insane.

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ChumpyCarvings@reddit

Try having a debate about monitor outputs or using docks with their products with someone or suggesting that USB-C on the iPhone might be good, there's still die hard defenders.

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Rubcionnnnn@reddit

It's mostly just people trying to show off disposable income by showing everyone that they spent $3k on a laptop with low wattage mobile cpu.

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GoogleDrummer@reddit

Oh, I know. Paying next years prices for last years tech just so you can show off that you have money. Werid.

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apathyzeal@reddit

Allow me to recommend my favorite Linux distribution instead

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way__north@reddit

"I use Arch btw"

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apathyzeal@reddit

Almalinux, actually.

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MorrowDisca@reddit

I have never once met a MS try hard. Cannot say the same about Linux.

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Mission-Tutor-6361@reddit

Oh please Linux people are way more obnoxious.

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Ihavelike13guns@reddit

Run your ADR's with 0 deadline and 0 grace period. Fuck you install updates now.

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way__north@reddit

cant recall exactly what I did , but lasy year I spent a couple weeks getting old windows builds upgraded to 21H2. In the process, I added a bunch of computers to a test collection - with 0 deadline or grace. During daytime. Like they say; SCCM and intune works at glacial speeds. Unless you make a mistake

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WaldoOU812@reddit

I used to work as the IT manager at a downtown convention hotel where the main water line ran over our sales department. The general manager had never fully repaired the line, though, and it was really old, so about once ever few months, we'd have a break in the line and whatever was underneath it would be destroyed. They'd fix that particular break, and we'd just wait for the next break, a few feet further down the line, to occur a few months later. I may or may not have arranged to have the people under that pipe to get our older laptops, given that the GM was also slow to pay for laptop refreshes. Ended up getting three new laptops before they eventually paid to fix the entire pipe, and it also had the side benefit of hammering home to our sales managers to save all their files on the network.

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KlaasKaakschaats@reddit

I remember a client of ours requested us that we made a custom phone forward button to an external number (which I think was of a random amusement park or something), so whenever somebody called trying to sell stuff, he would "pass him through his collegue <random name> and pressed the forward button to the other number.

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rootofallworlds@reddit

Are *you* a sysadmin in Europe? Are *you* responsible for workstations that are so old they still have the manual voltage switch on the power supplies? Do *you* want to get rid of those systems but the boss won't pay for the upgrades? Well have I got a tip for you. Just let some children run around the office. They won't be able to resist seeing what happens when they flip that bright red switch on the back of the computer. Pop! And now that workstation has failed and needs replacement. (Actually happened twice at my old employer - once it was a child, the second time was an adult.)

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imnotaero@reddit

American who did an internship in Europe here. Friend came to visit, and I show him the subway. It's crowded, and he's closer to the doors. At our stop, I point to the silver handles and tell him to open the door to get out. Friend pulls bright red handle high up to the right of the doors. He didn't touch anything red for the rest of his trip.

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FatPotatoNinja@reddit

We had these at school, weirdest thing was we never got told not to flick them as far as i remember....

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Rubcionnnnn@reddit

They only work as a self destruct switch if they are plugged into a 220v outlet. If they are plugged into the US's 110v the computer just shuts off.

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m0le@reddit

My school computer lab had a big red RCD switch next to the door that controlled all the room electrical sockets. Had, past tense. Turns out a bored student flicking it up and down is not good for the room full of computers...

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wazza_the_rockdog@reddit

Tell a bunch of school kids there's a self destruct switch in the back of every computer but they're not to touch it and watch how quickly they all go pop.

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ConstanceJill@reddit

Considering what usually happens when telling kids NOT to do a specific thing, I'm not sure it's that weird.

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nomind79@reddit

Story time. My work had a bring your daughter to work day and a server engineer brought his daughter to work. He needed to go into the data center for something and took his daughter. She got bored waiting for him and decided to unplug all those pretty orange wires plugged into the switches. Chaos ensued.

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BecomeABenefit@reddit

Stun gun to the back of a server works pretty well too. Just make sure both prongs touch a port.

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SahSon@reddit

I was this child when I was in school. I see red switch, I try red switch. The pop and smoke was so worth it.

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ShadowSlayer1441@reddit

Lol imagine having computer that literally just have a bright red self destruct switch.

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Disorderly_Chaos@reddit

2. Automate anything you’ll do more than once. 3. Make friends with people in HR. 4. The server room & 2 chairs is like a hammock and white noise generator when you’re tired. Bonus if you’re one of 4 people who have access. If you have the ability … a pillow and blanket can’t hurt. 5. Reboot the camera server before buggering off of work early. 6. Restless leg syndrome and your mouse can help keep your screen awake. 7. Under promise, over deliver.

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Rubcionnnnn@reddit

Back when I worked in the office I used to snooze on my lunch. I used to do it in my car but every other day people would come out into the parking lot and knock on my window to wake me up to fix issues, so I moved to the server room where it's air conditioned and I'm the only one with a key lol.

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SpeculationMaster@reddit

>Restless leg syndrome and your mouse can help keep your screen awake. MoveMouse from MS Store

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SeriekDarathus@reddit

>2. Automate anything you’ll do more than once.  >6. Restless leg syndrome and your mouse can help keep your screen awake. Conflicting yourself here. Write a macro that move the mouse 2px down, and 1px right. It auto-fires whenever the PC detects it is 'idle' (which triggers well before the screensaver/Lock Screen).

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Chief_Slac@reddit

https://github.com/arkane-systems/mousejiggler

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asedlfkh20h38fhl2k3f@reddit

This guy runescapes

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TheORIGINALkinyen@reddit

I used to work with someone who was a tchotchke ("chodge-key") hoarder and would go to trade shows for the t-shirts, hats and any other fodder they have to offer. They require contact information, so this person would put a co-worker's name and office address in the "fish bowl". He'd get tons of junk mail, flyers, offers, etc. sent to his desk and had no clue why ;). It's the low-tech equivalent of sending 1,000 pizzas to someone's house :).

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williamfny@reddit

If a vendor calls me I stop them and say I'm going to make sure they aren't wasting both of our time. If they aren't RFC2549 compliant we can't do business. If they rebut I simply say "I don't know how that answers my yes or no question. Go find out and if you are you can call me back."

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brainthrash@reddit

Thanks for the walk down memory lane and the education. I had known about RCF1149 and used it against people, but was unaware that there was an update to add QoS.

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williamfny@reddit

Oh, you have to have QoS.

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Icy-Maintenance7041@reddit

When i talk price with a vendor i usually ask what he can do for me personally to "make it work". If they refuse im sure that i have an honest vendor. If they offer something i go: "great!so you still have a margin. Please deduct the cost of that tb/printer/whatever from our invoice.

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ralfsmouse@reddit

Careful, if you say this with the wrong tone you end up on a steamy date. Next thing you know you can’t make the choice between all the vendors, and you end up in the slammer for bigamy.

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grax23@reddit

We actually had something like this happen with a C level slime ball. Then his wife, the office slut and our CEO found out. Not sure in what order but he lost wife, slut, vendor slut and job

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Icy-Maintenance7041@reddit

You... you make that sound like a bad thing. Why?

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CARLEtheCamry@reddit

You joke, but I've actually been put in that situation by a vendor. She was in town doing the whole "take our clients out to eat" tour they do once a year or so. Invited me back to her hotel room. I was in a relationship at the time and declined. Really sucked too, because she was the best VAR rep I ever had. What used to be a professional friendly relationship got totally ruined, things got weird and standoff-ish (I think she was scared I would report her). Was lucrative for her also, we had a 7-figure spend with her company. She transferred about 2 months later to a different account.

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Icy-Maintenance7041@reddit

That actually sucks. And not in a good way.

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TheGooOnTheFloor@reddit

2 (or more) mothers-in-law.

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OneEyedC4t@reddit

Spam is also unethical

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moffetts9001@reddit

Don’t schedule maintenance windows, just pretend all of the reboots were an accident.

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SpeculationMaster@reddit

You have a Windows XP computer at your job? It belongs to the owner's brother who refuses to change because "he's used to it" and "it always worked" ? Well, just plug a USB of death into it, or splash some holy water after hours.

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tdic89@reddit

Read the BOFH series for some truly outstanding (fictional) examples of getting stuff done. Blackmail included at no extra cost.

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Zahrad70@reddit

This guy Operates

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JAFIOR@reddit

r/thisguythisguys

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Chief_Slac@reddit

/r/subredditsashashtags

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OptimalCynic@reddit

"fictional" riiiight

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tdic89@reddit

BOFH wouldn’t take kindly to someone dobbing him in.

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tom_yum@reddit

How many of those stories ended with someone locked in the server room with the halon deployed?

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bofh2023@reddit

Back in the day, those stories were THE reason my first question at new datacenters was always "where is the halon cut-off?"

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-eraa-@reddit

I guess a third of them? Then a third with someone touched with a cattle prod (*BZZZZT*) or "accidentally" touching a high voltage powersupply, the last third had a short flight down the nearest lift shaft?

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sohannin@reddit

My favorites are user having the audacity of asking how much more disk space they now have and the users blaming an imaginary display dot change for everything.

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noxbos@reddit

I recently broke out the solar flare electromagnetic interference in response to an issue reported.

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Majik_Sheff@reddit

The last few months have made this totally plausible.

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cobarbob@reddit

use the ol' Etherkiller, then off to lunch for curry and onion bhajis oh and forward your phone to the talking clock

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Mission-Tutor-6361@reddit

Want to be a hero? Neglect your responsibilities and do the bare minimum. When something breaks, step up to save the day. For extra points, stay up all night fixing the issue and saving the company.

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asedlfkh20h38fhl2k3f@reddit

Didn't realize I was already in constant hero mode.

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brainthrash@reddit

We were testing a new self-help password reset portal and wrote a powershell script to randomly expire passwords to force users to use/test the portal. Left it running longer than we probably should have.

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Humble-Plankton2217@reddit

ok i snorted at my desk, thanks alot

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Nova_Aetas@reddit

Roullete wheel of password expiry. My God that's funny.

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Keninb@reddit

That's so evil. I love it.

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Bleglord@reddit

For any “my <application I’m using incorrectly> is freezing” problems I just ignore them for 15-20 minutes then by the time you follow up they thank you for fixing it on the backend. Usually excel or outlook being abused

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xDerpScopes@reddit

Or the classic User: "I am getting a error" and doesn't specify or give any information. Wait an hour Support: Hey can you try again for me? I found the problem. User: Oh hey look at that, it's working. Cheers. \*closes ticket\* Support: Great Success ... borat.gif

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eXtc_be@reddit

> "I am getting a error" and doesn't specify or give any information. or they send you a screenshot of a 5120 x 1440 desktop with a tiny dialog box in the middle. nobody ever heard of alt-prtscr?

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learethak@reddit

>> "I am getting a error" and doesn't specify or give any information. >or they send you a screenshot of a 5120 x 1440 desktop with a tiny dialog box in the middle. nobody ever heard of alt-prtscr? That they cut and pasted into a Word Doc and emailed to you with no subject line. (i.e. My CEO boss once a week.)

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Disorderly_Chaos@reddit

“It’s doing what? Okay - hold on while I try some things” \*coffee break\* “Okay… did that work?”

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vplamondon@reddit

I do that when I forget to follow up with a ticket "Sorry, it took longer to find the issue, can you try that again? Works now? Perfect!" \*closes ticket\*

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moezus@reddit

Dude I worked with at a support desk would ask users to unnecessarily reboot their computers then put the call on mute and try catch 10 mins of sleep due to being up all night playing WoW

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workerbee12three@reddit

if it were up to the user theyd get you to just sit there do their job for them

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NoradIV@reddit

Intentionnally let obsolete systems fail and tell management that "they cannot be fixed", even if you could, so that old crap FINALLY get replaced.

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joeyl5@reddit

If people are emailing back and forth with gossip and keep copying you on it, wait until the email thread gets deep, then add the target of gossip as a CC email when replying No more email chain!

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LeTrolleur@reddit

BCC for added chaos

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3pxp@reddit

Sign every annoying sales contact up as a sales lead for knowbe4

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Mission-Tutor-6361@reddit

Okta free game as well.

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Chaz042@reddit

Cogent is the way.

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apathyzeal@reddit

Or datadog. Those guys are relentless

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ZPrimed@reddit

Anything Solarwinds, too

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BAdinkers@reddit

Customer not providing enough information during troubleshooting? \- Just recreate the issue posing as the user!

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BAdinkers@reddit

You could make a pretty sick top 10 unethical sysadmin tips & tricks with these comments.

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MCMDEV@reddit

Don't mine crypto at night when everyone is home.

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drozenski@reddit

Hey now, we call it a scheduled GPU stress test.

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Sufficient-West-5456@reddit

Bro I use temp email from temp email site to download what OP just mentioned. It's easier. Because sometime they send the pdf in those .

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ilove-squirrels@reddit

I love this perfect level of pettiness.

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NoSoy777@reddit

lmao, I will use, thx

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Signal-Ad-4906@reddit

Do loud office switches piss you off? A toothpick will silence them.

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technos@reddit

One absolute legend at a competitor collected business cards from vendors that pestered him, and, whenever he did a trade show, handed those cards out to random companies and claimed that "his boss would be really interested in this". It was a smallish industry, so within a year or two *everyone* knew the guy by sight.

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PascalHere@reddit

Brilliant! I have a zip bag of cards like this. Finally putting them to good use

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Disorderly_Chaos@reddit

You could’ve left them on hit and run cars…

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Aim_Fire_Ready@reddit

I have a conference coming up in a few months. I think we’re gonna have some fun!!

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szeca@reddit

You have an unresponsive server. If you follow the process: Call Lead Incident Manager, who calls the Manager On Duty, who calls the SPOC on customer side, you fill 3 excels, you open emergency change, you chase approvals, you participate in technical and in manager calls for updates. 3-4 hours later you can Reset the server. ooooor You use **vmdumper** if VM or send a **NMI** is phisical server, and 2 minutes later the server is up again

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anchordwn@reddit

Changing the mouse speed on someone’s “slow” computer

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Gaveen1999@reddit

Not the type of tips I was expecting to find here....

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GullibleDetective@reddit

/r/shittysysadmin exists for this reason. But you can save room on your backup servers by deleting your backups even if they fall in your retention period

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jcpham@reddit

I sign up for cold call sales presentations and then don’t show and ghost them - but only if they already have my email address and I never gave it to them. My first company meeting I explain how much I loathe salespeople especially cold callers, someone pipes up ”do you know how we make money at this company?”

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shikkonin@reddit

We have no mercy for cold callers. Where I work, cold calling is 100% illegal and our org presses charges *every* time.

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Casseiopei@reddit

“EVERYTHING is broken you say?” Reboots servers at 2PM.

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Nova_Aetas@reddit

Lol I knew a guy who did this using our RMM software. Knocked the whole MSP offline. Even my management box was gone and I was remote, couldn't even see what he did

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Old-Rip2907@reddit

Users can’t complain if the email is down and so are the phone systems. For legal reasons this is a joke.

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Crack0n7uesday@reddit

Unresponsive servers are perfect for rebooting during business hours without going through chain of command...

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devonnull@reddit

This is the way.

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Lancaster1983@reddit

I control the email blocklist for 60k mailboxes. That's usually pretty efficient.

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Kaligraphic@reddit

“My preferred vendor is the only one that gets through, and knows what to push to keep it that way.”

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Kill3rT0fu@reddit

I’ve done this. Some asshat scraped my info from LinkedIn so I returned the favor

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DougEubanks@reddit

I'm an IT guy who ran mail servers too. I also get 5-6 cold calls a day from scummy sales people. I also get 40-50 UCE messages a day advertising random IT junk from more sales people. They all think they are just making a living, but I spend 30 minutes a day wasting time with these fools and they aren't innocent bystanders. Good luck...

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