What’s the best way for me to lose weight/fat?

Posted by JuicyPineapples53@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 314 comments

Hi all, I’m aware it’s probably one of the most asked questions ever, but what is the best way for me to lose weight/fat? I’m 30M, 5ft 9 and 21st. I’m incredibly inactive - I leave the house at around 06:00 and get back at around 19:00. I sit in an office chair all day, get home - sit down for 15/20 minutes then cook dinner for me and my partner and then go to bed. I couldn’t tell you the last time I exercised and I’m incredibly lazy in that aspect. I have what most would call a bad relationship with food, although I don’t see it as that. I LOVE food, like it’s one of my favourite things and cooking is a hobby - I love it for the taste/experience, not for “fuel”. I don’t eat incredibly unhealthy and cook from scratch every night, but I do snack and don’t hold back if we go out for a meal/get a takeaway. Exercise wise, I won’t go to the gym as I struggle with social anxiety despite trying previously. I’m also nursing a slipped disc and have been for nearly a year. My physio said the only way for it to properly heal is to exercise, however it’s also the biggest physical burden at the same time. Even prolonged periods (30 min) of walking is causing my agony with my back. I am totally aware that a lot of this is a mixture of laziness and physiological and that “losing weight is easy”, but I’m really struggling to find time and effort to sort myself out. I’d probably continue the way I’m going, however I have a little girl due in 6 weeks and I need to make sure I’m around as long as possible to be the best dad I can be. Sorry it’s a long thread, and thank you all.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

In addition to this, has anyone done Couch to 5K and if so - is it easy to follow without giving up and is it a killer on the body? Main concern for me is my back injury, but I’ve downloaded the app and might wanna give it a go!

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guareber@reddit

C25K is great and easy to follow, and you should be advised that if any particular week felt way too hard, you can just repeat that week instead of progressing to the next one. I've done it twice (once from couch-potato and another after an injury) and I've enjoyed both. One thing no one tells you (or at least it happened to me) is that as you start regularly excercising, your appetite also changes. I found myself craving *salad* way more often when running 5k multiple days a week. I think you should give it a try. It'll only cost you time.

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JP198364839@reddit

I did it ten years ago and it worked. I went from not being able to run to doing a half-marathon. I lost my running mojo and I’m on week three now as I’m starting it again. It’s not a killer at all and it’s gradual progression which is a great way to build up. But just running alone isn’t enough for a big weight loss.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Good to hear it worked! I’m not expecting walking/running to magically fix things, but it can’t harm me anymore than being sedative!

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xp3ayk@reddit

Lots of your comments are focusing on exercise. Exercise is brilliant for your *health*. It actually won't do much for your weight. To fix your weight you need to address your diet. I'm afraid you don't get to 21st without a poor diet, and running 5k will not undo that. You need to find a new, sustainable diet that will work *for you*. There are lots of different ways to make your diet better, but what matters is the one that will work for you, and no one else can tell you what that is. For me it's - don't eat ultraprocessed food 90% of the time and do intermittent fasting with a 4 hour eating window Monday-Friday. For me that's sustainable long term. I'm willing to bet that although you cook your meals from scratch, you actually eat lots of ultraprocessed snacks.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Yeah they are - I guess it’s such a common misconception that exercise = weight loss. I deffo need to take some time in figuring out what I need to eat, how much of it and when but not sure I’m brave enough to look at a 4 hour window yet! Yeah you’re bang on about cooking. Dinners are all from scratch without fail (apart from a treat) but snacks aren’t!

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xp3ayk@reddit

Tbh a 4 hour eating window is pretty 'advanced' fasting which I got to after years of 5:2, then gradually building up from an 8 hour window little bit by little bit. So don't worry if that feels unachievable. Even skipping breakfast and then eating nothing after your evening meal would probably have a big impact on how much you're consuming through a day. It would be very easy for me to eat an entire 200g bar of chocolate in the evening. That's over 1000 calories there. If I've closed my eating window at 7.30 after dinner then I know that 'just a little bit of chocolate' at 9pm isn't an option. But I'm really not trying to tell you what is going to work for you, different things work for different people (and even different strategies have been right for me at different times in my life). I just hope to encourage you to focus more on diet than exercise. Exercise is very important, but it won't fix your weight. My advice would be to take a brutal honest accounting of everything you eat. I wouldn't actually use my fitness pal, because I find that logging calories naturally makes me consume less so it's less insightful. If write down in a note book every single thing you eat for 3 days and then work out the calories for everything at the end. Once you do that, you'll know where you can improve. Maybe you're eating half a packet of biscuits at your desk without thinking. Maybe you're eating a sharing bag of crisps in front of the TV etc ect If I you want book recommendations, I've only read 2 'diet' books in my life, the 5:2 book and ultraprocessed people (this one isn't really a diet book but I found it very enlightening). Both of them fundamentally changed the way I eat.

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Ev_3@reddit

Yes. I tried on my own and gave up but then did it with the local running club and smashed it. Doing 8k a week now, it changed my life.

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alrightpickle@reddit

C25k is good and easy to follow, the jump in the middle can feel quite hard but you don't have to do it on that schedule. You could aim to stick at week 1 for a few months even - 60s running followed by 90s walking.

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Street-Rip-4537@reddit

First off congrats on the little girl on the way thats huge motivation right there and honestly the fact youre thinking about this now says a lot. I was in a similar place with long work hours and zero gym motivation and what helped me most was starting stupidly small like just focusing on portion control and cutting mindless snacking before worrying about intense workouts because fat loss really comes down to being in a calorie deficit even if you love food you can still enjoy it just tighten up portions and be more intentional about takeaways. Since your back is an issue you might look into a rebounding workout because its low impact and easier on the joints and spine compared to walking long distances and I would recommend leaps and rebounds since they ease you in and you can control intensity at home without the gym anxiety. Even 10 to 15 minutes a day consistently plus slightly eating less than you burn will move the scale over time and once you see progress it builds momentum. You dont need to flip your whole life overnight just stack small wins daily and think long term especially with your daughter coming youre playing the long game now not trying to crash diet for a month.

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Cute_Researcher_6578@reddit

I did it by basically calorie counting in the early days of the myfitnesspal app (around 2011/2012) - it worked for me. You start to learn what portion sizes are! Get yourself a set of digital kitchen scales (I assume you have some as you enjoy cooking) . Weigh everything on your plates to begin with and log them in the app. There are probably other alternatives to myfitnesspal, only name dropping it here because thats the only one I know. A bit of exercising will help too, even a solo walk around where you live daily. Failing that, if you can get an basic exercise bike at home, that will help too. You dont need to go crazy to start with, 10mins per day or something...then log that in your app too! You really can do it. Once you lose some it will encourage you to carry on.

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DemonikJD@reddit

First up, take a few steps back, "I'm incredibly lazy in that aspect". Cut that right out. Mate you've started by explaining how you leave at 6am and get back around 7pm. Literally more than half your day is out of the house dedicated to work. If you sleep for 7-8 hours and lets say food takes about an hour that leaves you with basically no time. So don't be down on yourself because you can't magically exercise optimally when you're that crunched for time. Your three problems are: Time, Anxiety, Food. Firstly, cooking being a hobby is GREAT! it means you can create great food WHILE being in a caloric deficit. Whats that? simple, if you usually eat about 2800kcal per day, try a few weeks on 2,400kcal. People struggle with this because food prep and cooking is hard for most but it could be your strong point. As for the "i don't hold back if we have takeaway", tough. You have to. BUT if you're regular meals are smart and controlled and you're calories are down don't be scared to enjoy a good meal and go nuts every so often. You want a routine thats maintainable nothing crazy, you'll just crash and go back to easy old habits. Secondly, timeeee. This is tough because of your work pattern, you need to find time or create it. Maybe you stay up a bit later or theres lunch time etc but also just a bunch of little tricks, take the stairs, instead of driving to the shops walk there and back, you said you can't walk for long, thats fine, walk for whats comfortable. Its up to you to figure out whens best for you. Lastly, that pesky social anxiety. Don't start with "I won't go to the gym". Start with, I need to, so what can I do to make this easier for me. Is there someone you can with? (I do this for my wife, she also has anxiety). Is there a version of the gym that is less scary see also what produces the anxiety. All of which are valid answers, the people, the complexity of movements, the unknowns, the social norms etc There's absolutely gym options that lessen these elements, classes are likely the best example, you don't have to think because theres a class leader saying what to do and when, complexity is limited because said class leaders have to ensure a group of people of varying abilities can all get a good workout, people fears are reduced because everyone is there for the same reason. As for a more typical gym experience honestly, "lift things you find heavy, lift/move them slowly, get sweaty, drink water, go home. Repeat 3-4 times a week for 30-60 minutes. As for the quintessential 'gym social anxiety' most likely being 'people are looking' and or 'what will people think'. Honestly buddy, nothing. Nobody cares. Genuinely, I promise you not a soul cares. Sure, will people look if you are outside the social norms of size, absolutelyyyy but thats the same for a bodybuilder, size draws attention and you're just at a point where you assign shame to your size and you don't need to because you're going to do something about it for that kid of yours. p.s small steps across the board and you'll be fine, don't rush, you got this.

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ShihtzuMum39@reddit

There’s loads of tips here and good advice. I just came to say, start with one simple thing if it’s about habit rather than knowledge for you. How about starting with a walk during your lunch hour? You could listen to a podcast or talking book whilst you do it? Good luck either way!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Great shout, thanks!

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KenMSmith@reddit

A great start could be a simple substitute, look at the food you eat and identify what you eat often and is high in calories and low in micronutrients, a.g. Rice, pasta, bread. Then substitute it for something low in calories and high in nutrients. For me I just stopped eating rice and swapped it for cauliflower. It wasn’t all I did… but it was a start. I think whilst most advice on here is great, just starting with something simple helped me when I was in that place.

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dvi84@reddit

Intermittent fasting worked for me (nearly 30kg down) - BUT, only when I finally realised how it works. The idea is to shrink your stomach. When it is your eating window, you cannot physically consume too many calories. You really need a small window to eat during. 4-6 hours. 8 hours didn’t work for me which is why I failed. 4-6 hours is HARD, but, once you battle through the hunger it fades. I sometimes eat a handful of nuts to ease things but it really has to be limited to 20g or so. It also takes a good week or two until you begin to feel full with less. I found this worked for me because it didn’t matter if I took a break from it some days. Still drank beer at weekends etc. You can relapse and start again the next day, but you’ll find the relapse is much less of a relapse. When I did proper diet plans, it ruins things if you break from the plan.

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Simple-Fox6722@reddit

Weight loss is 80% food and 20% exercise. You're getting lots of great advice and all of these things do work, but it's about what will work *for you* Reading your replies - food wise, has been a while since I did it, but if you want some structure, Slimming World was great for food swaps without too much in the way of portion control so you could still fill your plate with the right kind of foods. Alternatively, there are some really good food/healthy recipe subs on here with people happy to talk about food. I use Pinch of Nom cookery books every week now along with my slow cooker, its a lifesaver for the days where you're tired and you can put something together before you leave that is bubbling away when you get home. Slipped discs are painful but once you're out of the acute phase (can't move), the best thing for your back really is exercise.Start with small changes - increase your daily steps as a starting point and add some stretching first thing or before bed. Try to get to 4k, then 5k and so on. Doesn't matter how, 10 mins will probably get you an extra 1k. Couch to 5k is a great goal but if you don't work up to it and prepare your back, you'll risk injury and more pain. Best of luck to you and congrats!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Realising that now! I think standard culture is so focused on exercise that it makes it out like it’s the end-all and if you don’t exercise you can’t lose weight. A few people have mentioned SW, but there isn’t one in my local area in the evenings. I’m going to have a look to see if there’s one near work as that’s 50 miles away so may have better chances. I’ll have a look at the Pinch of Nom books, thanks! I think the mother in law has some so I can “pinch” them 😉 I’m deffo out the can’t move stage with the back, it settled for a while and then came back after I jolted at an awkward angle. I want to take things slowly with it, but not to the point it’s pointless! Need to get walking that’s for sure. Thank you!

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Simple-Fox6722@reddit

Welcome. Totally agree that we're all flooded with messages about exercise - it is important for lots of reasons but is not the be all and end all for weightloss. SW have an online service, but again depends if you would get more out of the group setting or if you're happy to go it alone. You cook from scratch to which I doff my cap, its half the battle and think you'll enjoy the recipes! Your back has my sympathy- it's painful and difficult to convey how hard every day movement can be when it's in that stage. It will feel frustratingly slow at times but just go steady and work your way up.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you again! Will look into SW online if I can’t find a local one I can attend, anything is better than nothing!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Hi all, Firstly, I just wanted to say thank to each and every single one of you for your comments, no matter how harsh or realistic they’ve been. I recognise I’m fat, and although I’m healthy otherwise (somehow) - I appreciate that I’m probably very lucky and it won’t last forever. 1) I have ordered some of those fancy scales that track fat percentage etc and pair with MyFitnessPal. I’ve not owned scales for years and it was only last night when I found some at work that I realised my weight. This will keep me focused (I hope). 2) I have downloaded MyFitnessPal and will track my intake to see what I’m really having. 3) Diet change (as in food change) starts Monday. I’ve got this week’s shopping in the fridge and will not waste it, but will reduce the carbs level as it’s quite carb heavy this week. 4) I’m going to give Couch to 5K a go, starting tonight. The Apple Watch is on charge, and there’s no time like the present. If it’s too much hard work off the bat, I’ll stick to walking just so I get used to it. 5) I want to avoid Mounjaro/similar unless it’s a last resort. It’s expensive, it’s needles and it’s not been tested long enough for me to know the long term side effects. I appreciate it works for a lot of people, but I want to do this naturally if I can. 6) Slimming World and Weight Watchers have been a great shout, and it’s brilliant to see them both in a positive light. There isn’t a local SW to me that operates in times I can make it (who can do 10am and 5pm on a Tuesday?!) but I’m going to reach out to my local rep as her number is on the website and see if she can support. 7) I have got two friends who have lost a lot of weight, so I’m going to reach out to them for meal and exercise advice too. One of which I’ve already messaged and asked to meet up. What has really helped is seeing first hand experiences, some of you have lost a hell of a lot of weight and that’s inspirational and should be proud. There has been some really valuable advice throughout these comments, and I promise I’ve taken every single one on board even if some people think otherwise. It’s not an overnight change, but each small step is a big step for my healthier family. I’ve got a duty now and new responsibilities so I need to stop being selfish and focus on them. If anyone is going through the same thing, or scared to - please DM me. Heck, I’d love to set up a WhatsApp group if possible where we can share each others progress, meal ideas, exercise routines. Maybe like a WhatsApp style Slimming World support group! I bet it’s so much easier having people in the same boat as you around you. To all those fatties, let’s get this. It’s time to change. To all those ex-fatties, thank you for the kick up the arse. 🙌🏻

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I’ve just got back from my first session of C25K and feel great, but broken. Got a lot of healing to do on my lower back with my disc and my shins/ankles hurt but I rest and go again. https://preview.redd.it/45bvqet88bkg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=edf6967d0f26417dbaf4ef1c6cc86767eb57c64c

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

PS - I am aware that the real solution is to burn more calories than I’m consuming. I need advice on how to get to that point with everything taken on board. 😃

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ElectricalInflation@reddit

Eat less. People think there’s a magic formula and there isn’t. Be aware of how much you’re burning through the day, get a fit bit or something. Drink more water and eat less than you need to. Make small but sustainable changes, it takes a while but it will eventually come off. Try and do some activity if you can but this isn’t the biggest factor.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Yeah, I get that. I just can’t see food quantity being the end-all when I’m so sedative! I’ve tried tracking calories through MyFitnessPal in the past, and despite trying to be precise I was still under 1,500kcal on most days which just isn’t possible. I’ve got an old Apple Watch, so will dig that out for sure. Water needs to be increased, I’ve got an addiction to tea but do drink as much water as I can alongside that.

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pajamakitten@reddit

> and despite trying to be precise I was still under 1,500kcal on most days which just isn’t possible. Which means you are not being precise. You are clearly missing something when counting, like drinks or something.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

probably my tea intake!

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bacon_cake@reddit

I know you're being lighthearted but there's not a chance that you can sustain that weight on 1500kcal a day. Something is wrong with your calculations but the good news is if you write everything's down 100% correctly (weigh everything and count literally anything that passes your lips) you *will* be able to make changes. You've got this.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Oh 100%. Never took it seriously, just put what looked right and that’s what it came out at. Will be doing it properly from now on!

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pajamakitten@reddit

Sugar and milk? Yes, that all adds up. Same with any fizzy drinks. Any sauces with dinner, fat you use to cook etc.

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ch536@reddit

100ml of full fat milk is nearly 70 calories. If you're having lots of cups of tea/coffee with milk per day then the milk alone could be a big portion of your daily calories

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captain_seadog@reddit

Butter and oil in cooking adds up too and is easily missed or underestimated

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Objective-Ad-585@reddit

1500 kcal isn’t sustainable for someone your size. It’s not realistic. It would be fine for fad dieting, you’ll last x months then hate yourself because you’re struggling. Because that cut is insane for someone who’s fit and looking to go into athletic territory. Sub 10% body fat etc. Be realistic, stick with 2000kcal-2500kcal. With your size, you will still lose decent amounts of weight. But it will be manageable long term. It will take a long time. You’re not gonna fix it overnight.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Interesting, thank you! I don’t think I do 2500kcal a day most days, I think it’s more sugars etc that I’m high on. I’ll deffo keep an eye on kcals though!

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milkandket@reddit

Try watching the show ‘secret eaters’ - it’s eye opening. Everyone on there thinks they’re living on like 1000kcal a day until they show them what they’re actually consuming. I’d be absolutely amazed if you’re only hitting 1500 a day. I’m calorie counting atm - I aim for 1200-1500 depending on how hungry I am that day and some days are hard! I also get no exercise and am a 5ft2 female.

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ch536@reddit

1200-1500 is extremely low for a 5ft 2 female. I'm also 5ft 2 and tried to calorie count and live off of 1700 a day and I found that very difficult.

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milkandket@reddit

Its around what I’ve seen recommended for someone my size and activity level trying to lose some weight - all the calculators I’ve tried put me at somewhere around 1400 for maintenance. Generally I’m super comfortable/satisfied with the 1200 but there’s a day or two here and there where I do feel like I need more so I’ll have an extra meal for those. This absolutely won’t apply to OP thoug

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ElectricalInflation@reddit

Food quantity is the end-all. You can’t lose weight unless you eat less especially because you’re so sedative. You aren’t tracking things properly if it’s only coming out at 1,500. This could be due to weight or snacking. Honestly I stopped tracking all together and just made more informed choices. I highly recommend looking into intuitive eating and just generally making better choices. If you want pop go for no sugar etc. If you’re eating biscuits, have 1 instead of 2. Weight loss takes time but you’ll keep it off this way.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Crazy.. it’s so ingrained that exercise fixes everything and I guess it helps but isn’t the answer. I’ll have a look at intuitive eating, thank you very much!

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_SpionKopite@reddit

If your dog was overweight, you’d give them less food and walk them more. It is the same logic for humans.

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davebrooks0473@reddit

Exactly this!! Best bit of of advice you’ll ever get

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tiorzol@reddit

Do some research on Mounjaro mate. It's specifically made for people in your situation.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

My one stance is wanting to avoid Mounjaro and the similar, I want to do this naturally. Not only am I not comfortable trying the medication, but I can’t afford it either. I want to be able to lose this weight without relying on other things..

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tiorzol@reddit

You could maybe get it prescribed by your doc at your BMI. It's not a miracle cure it augments your willpower basically. Good luck whatever route you go down.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you🙌🏻

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ExtremeExtension9@reddit

GLP-1. Still do the healthy eating and the exercise, but training yourself in to good habits it so much easier when you don’t have that little devil on your shoulder telling you that you are hungry and the only way to not feel hungry is to eat a burger and donut. I

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I know, I know. I want to avoid that though..

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zephyrmox@reddit

Why?

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Because I don’t feel comfortable injecting myself or relying on something to do something I could try and do naturally. I also don’t know the long lasting side effects and it’s expensive..

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

It’s your choice at the end of the day but it is worth looking into. r/mounjarouk has a very good FAQ section. CICO works for a lot of people, but GLP-1s are really useful if there’s an underlying reason that’s stopping you gaining weight. For me, it’s had a life changing effect on my inflammation, which has reduced pain and brain fog to the point I’m now able to exercise and cook from scratch for myself.

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Effective_Topic_4728@reddit

Ultimately, these jabs have come about because pharmaceutical companies have found a way to give quick gratification for people who, generally speaking, don't make good choices about their health and they can make a lot of money out of it. You are wise to be wary. There is no better way to a healthy body than a healthy lifestyle.

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

Pretty sure you’ve responded to the wrong person here. These jabs are great for people for whom CICO hasn’t worked, where there’s an underlying problem like insulin resistance or hormone problems. They’re revolutionary.

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Effective_Topic_4728@reddit

They might well be, but they are available to everyone

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

They’re available to people who satisfy the criteria. You need to have a BMI over 30, or in some cases it can be lower with other comorbidities

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justhereforthecrac@reddit

Some medications make it extremely hard to lose weight and even pile weight on some people. GLP1s are good for those people. Also worth considering if youre taking any other meds that might be impacting your weight op.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the thought! Luckily I am medication free 🙌🏻

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PinkandTwinkly@reddit

The thing i will say about GLP1 is ,at my heaviest i was exhausted just walking up the stairs. There is a big difference between a fee lbs and 150lbs overweight Acual proper exercise wiped me out, i couldn't go for a walk AND go to work. I literally didn't have the energy . I was very much a emotional eater, and got stuck in this feeling sorry for myslef binge eating cycle Like id written myself off Using a GlP1 to help moderate my food , got me out of this cycle . Once i started losing weight , movement was easier . I could exercise and feel good after it . Even outside exercise im moving so much more just being me The food noise being quietened helped me get out of the emotional eating habits. Its more than just appetite supression . I still eat a lot probably compared to many but I'm in a deficit and eating healthy nutritious food, so losing weight Its a lot of money i understand, but honestly id you've tried for years to diet unsuccessful I'd consider it

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purpletori@reddit

Honestly you're doing the right thing trying to change habits and make small changes first before jumping onto the GLP-1 bandwagon.

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

This was me, properly love to cook, but couldn't restrain myself when it came to dishing up. The jab just made me cook the same, but have smaller, normal portions. I also swapped out any "I am actually hungry" snacks for heathy options - and the way of making that easy was "I'm not effing paying this much to undo/sacrifice it for a 1-minute nibble"!

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abeagleindungarees@reddit

I’ve read your post and all your comments and honestly I think you need to sit and think about what you are willing to do to lose weight and stick to those things- only you know that. People have had a lot of suggestions for you in the thread and you’ve basically managed to find an issue with all of them; - weight loss drugs, you can’t afford and don’t want - slimming world, there isn’t one that you can attend - weight watchers you don’t seem interested in trying - calorie counting, you don’t want to weigh your food in case it gives you an unhealthy relationship with food. - suggestions to reduce certain food types are met with a “is that sustainable?” Reaction I am sorry to say it, but you sound like you already have an unhealthy relationship with food, it’s just unhealthy in a way you have become comfortable with. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. You know the “how” to lose weight, you just seem reluctant to try any of the actions to achieve it- change is scary! Trying to do something can be scary, but not changing anything for fear of getting it wrong, or for even possibly for fear of failure, is going to keep you where you are. Personally, I have lost weight by tracking calories, I cook a lot of my own food and I don’t find it overly difficult to weigh out foods and log recipes - MyFitnessPal has a recipe section where you plug in the weight of each ingredient you use and the number of portions you are making and it works it all out for you. I hope nothing I have said comes across as harsh, you say you have a baby on the way, and I know that must be exciting and overwhelming, sometimes deliberating/focussing on something else can be a way of coping with any underlying anxiety from other things. Maybe there’s an element of that here? I hope you find something you can be confident in starting, even if you’re not perfect, progress is progress!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

No, I appreciate that. I felt I’d been quite open to changes throughout this thread and have taken on a lot of the advice in my responses. Not everything works for everyone, but I can’t ask for time off during work to attend SW and I can’t afford to spend money on injections (which I also don’t know the long term effects on). WW was interesting as I didn’t know they did online, I assumed it was physical meetings only like SW and is exactly why I wanted to ask the question for things like this. I do have an unhealthy relationship with food, but there is zero point swapping it for another unhealthy relationship with food at the other end of the scale. I am open to reducing portion sizes, swapping foods out, changing percentages on my plate and any advice has been appreciated, and although I’m happy to an extend checking calories and tracking etc - I don’t want to get to the point I’m paranoid about what I’m eating. Cooking is one of my only passions; don’t wanna lose that y’know? You’re not being harsh, just realistic and sometimes that’s best. Everyone knows there is only one way to lose weight, it’s just navigating to that stage. End goal is simple, but the journey is the hard part. Yeah having a little girl on the way is definitely playing with my emotions but it’s about the only motivation I have! Thanks again 🙌🏻

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ForwardCity9803@reddit

You’re making a big deal of this idea that controlling what you eat equates to an unhealthy relationship with food. Maybe, but you’re a long way from that type of unhealthy being actually unhealthy for you, at 21 stone.

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bacon_cake@reddit

I know I'd rather have an "unhealthy relationship with food" and be 5'9" 75kg at 19% BF than any sort of relationship with food and be obese.

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Public_Purchase7870@reddit

You might be surprised if you add it up what you are spending on "snacking" compared to what you would spend on injections might be quite similar figures. Also no one here is likely to be able to convince you on drug safety, but you are also well aware that the path you are going down is 100% guarenteed not safe.

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JennyW93@reddit

On your “cooking is one of my only passions” point - it’s mine, too. But in the process of losing 6 stone through calorie tracking and basic lifestyle changes, it’s become so much more interesting and exciting finding new recipes and ingredient swaps that taste incredible but still fit within my calorie budget. It’s challenging, which makes me enjoy it more. Feels kind of gamified.

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Left_Condition2044@reddit

Slimming World also has online, and their meetings are often in the evening, if you can’t make morning meetings. I’m not pushing Slimming World - never tried it - but a thorough research might be in order

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LittleSadRufus@reddit

I would suggest you sign up with an online personal trainer. Worked brilliantly for me. They work both angles: techniques to reduce calorie intake and lose weight, and exercises to maintain muscle mass whilst you lose weight (otherwise your body burns off both fat and muscle). Best of all you have regular check ins, reviews and are kept accountable. They will also work through any issues you have with these solutions to find a way to motivate you. Some are more expensive than others, so you need to do some research, but you'll be adding literally years to your lifespan so it's a solid investment. No need to go to the gym, you can choose someone who can work around exercise at home, perhaps only bodyweight exercises etc if you don't want to buy any dumbbells. For cardio they often only recommend walking.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Damn, didn’t even know you could get online PT’s.. Deffo something to look into! Thank you so much 😃

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ForwardCity9803@reddit

Great reply, I do want to add that you only really need to weigh each food the first few times, until you can eye it up good enough

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Prestigious_Leg7821@reddit

Thanks for highlighting the myfitness recipe part - I’ve struggled with this aspect so have just guessed at everything!! Will defo give that a go!

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Sea_Detective2033@reddit

First off the fact that you are thinking about this with a baby due in six weeks says a lot about you already. At 30, 5ft 9 and 21 stone, the biggest lever for fat loss especially with a slipped disc and limited mobility is going to be nutrition, not intense exercise. Weight loss is primarily about creating a calorie deficit, and that can absolutely be done without the gym. Since you love cooking, that can actually become your advantage. Keep cooking from scratch but slightly reduce portions, cook with a bit less oil, prioritize lean protein, load up vegetables for volume, and set a simple rule for snacks like one planned portion per day instead of grazing. You do not need to stop enjoying food, just tighten the boundaries slightly. Because walking aggravates your back, follow your physio’s guidance and focus on gentle core stability and rehab exercises daily even if it is just 10 to 15 minutes. That consistency will help your disc heal and eventually allow more activity. For low impact conditioning that is easier on the joints once your physio clears you, rebounding can be useful because it is controlled, low load, and done at home, and programs like Leaps and Rebounds provide structured sessions without the pressure of a gym environment which can help with social anxiety. But right now your main win will come from controlling intake, increasing protein to preserve muscle, and being consistent rather than extreme. You do not need to flip your whole life upside down before your daughter arrives. Small sustainable changes done daily will compound massively over the next year and that is what will keep you healthy and present for her.

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byjimini@reddit

For me it was finding what bad habits I had - crisps and evening snacking - and then working to eliminate them. Eating at night usually means you won’t want to eat in the morning, pushing meals back and leading to more snacking in the evening. Break the habits for 6-8 weeks and then look at increasing walks.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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sunlitupland5@reddit

I'm a 60 year old woman so my experience may not be relevant but increasing veg, cutting low quality carbs (white rice, pasta etc) and increased pulses massively reduced my anxiety. Once that's done you will be freer to make choices about exercise and snacks.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

That’s really good to know, thank you! This is deffo a lot for me mentally too, so that’s great to know.

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Crystalstream@reddit

I’ve tried many ways of eating - not to lose weight, but to heal other issues (vegan, starch-based, keto, carnivore). The ones where I lose weight despite eating loads is keto and carnivore. I learnt first hand that sugar and carbs make you fat - not fat! I eat lots of butter, fatty meats, cheeses, cream and lost a lot of weight. It reminded me of those African fat farms where they send young women to fatten them up for marriage. Guess what they feeds them on? Carbs. Porridge all day long. It’s a total lie that fat is fattening. I got much healthier eating this way, more energy. And I don’t crave food all day long either. The minute I eat a bag of crisps or something, I’m starving for more carbs within the next hour! Carbs have very low nutritional value, really we don’t need them, but they are great if you’re very active all day and need the energy. This is my real lived experience, not what I’ve read.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! Funnily enough I went vegan in 2017 and lost 4 stone in a year before reverting back to normal so I know how much a drastic change can help!

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OkTechnician4610@reddit

I had similar issues. Sit down & have a good talk with yourself. 21stone weight will shorten your life. You are likely to get type 2 diabetes which is no fun I can tell you. ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES TO YOUR LIFE. From what you say in the post you seem to be talking yourself out of doing anything. Cut carbs & sugar is a good start but at a time. Walking can help bit at a time. Go see a dr first to get some tests to see if you have under active thyroid that can block weight loss & blood sugars. Stop putting your own blockers in else your will be think the same in a few yrs time when your are 25st. With heart & breathing problems. It’s hard hard work but worth it, I went from 16st to 11st am off diabetes meds, & also got normal blood pressure.

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oldsch0olsurvivor@reddit

I lost 140lb. Gym and intermittent fasting. I only had 4 wetabix with milk at midday. Healthy meal before 6pm. Fish and rice usually. Cut out pretty much all sugar. Yeah it’s a bit grim but 3 years ago I couldn’t run up the stairs but now I do half marathons. If you want it enough, you’ll do it.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Congratulations on losing 140lb! I think I’d like to lose 100 so it’s good to know it’s doable.

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Key_Breakfast6745@reddit

Have you tried intermittent fasting? It’s the best tool I found for me, I too have no time or motivation go out of my way to loose weight, but this is the healthiest I have felt. Before you do anything tho, talk to your doctor to make sure it’s the right approach for you.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I haven’t! Heard about it but never really looked into it. Will check it out!

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hodgey66@reddit

Is there any scope for exercise when the little one arrives ? Reason I ask is because with my recent arrival ny routine is up at 6.30, wash/change and feed and then take them out in the pram for an hour. Grab a coffee, get some steps in and gives the mrs time to sleep and get ready I appreciate you’re up early for work but is there any chance of work from home at any point, start later etc? Good luck

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

We’ve already discussed that we’re going to take her on a lot of walks when she’s born! Especially as we’re going into the spring and summer, it’ll be nice for us to get out as a family regularly (especially as it’s been miserable recently). Yeah I work from home once a week, maybe I need to utilise that a bit more! Thank you!

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Human-Instance-2759@reddit

Start small and be consistent. You don’t need a lifestyle change over night. Eat breakfast, lunch, dinner as normal. Remove snacking. Replace sugary drinks with water, or drop lattes for americanos with a bit of milk. Add a little exercise every day and gradually add more as your body adjusts. While I don’t count calories, I do try to limit the amount of calories per meal. Just be sensible. These are the adjustments I made and I’m happy with my progress so far.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I think this is the best thing for me right now! There’s no point flipping my life over straight away as I won’t stick to it. I’m going to start logging what I’m having for the first week, and drop some snacks. I’m lucky that I don’t care for fizzy drinks or alcohol, but only drink water and tea (half a sugar). I can then review from there and start finding foods for breakfast/lunch that I like and can be consistent at and then hopefully exercise. I can walk/cycle quite easily when not injured, so would like to get back to that stage again! Thank you!

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elom44@reddit

Firstly, congratulations on impending fatherhood. It really is the best thing. Use that occasion to focus on the health of your whole family. Talk with your partner, about what they need, what you need, the baby - the family. Make this about something bigger than yourself and you change your motivation. Start asking yourself, is this the best thing for my family? Focus on the overall health and wellbeing of yourselves as a family unit and you’ll make healthier decisions collectively. Having kids woke me up and led me to a much better life. Use this opportunity to think about what you want.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

100%. Literally just got off the phone to the missus about it, we want to be a healthy family unit and be good role models for the little’un. She isn’t fat or “unhealthy” but could definitely do better, so we’re going to do it together.

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ElfBlossom17@reddit

Congratulations on the baby girl arriving, hope it all goes smoothly! I haven't read all the comments but, quite a few and I'm possibly going to go against the grain. When you are significantly overweight and do no exercise, doing some exercise like walking, cycling or swimming regularly IS going kick-start your weight loss even if you don't change what you're eating. The worst thing you can do is go 'on a diet', it's a good kick-start maybe but, not sustainable! What you need to do instead is small changes. Slightly smaller portions, choosing some snacks that are slightly better for you but still 'nice', drink more water, be calorie aware not necessarily restrictive. Do you have a fitbit/apple watch/garmin ? If not, can you get one? Doesn't have to be top of range or brand new. This is going to help with keeping track and motivation. Once baby is here, you will hopefully lose some weight, I've seen it many times! You are working very long hours, is there any opportunity to make changes there? Less or flexible hours? Change of job in some way? Lastly, you are not your weight. Your extra weight is just that, you are still worthy of all good things, be kind to yourself, take care of yourself, speak kind words to yourself, one because you deserve them and two because how we speak about ourselves becomes our children's inner voice. ❤️

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much for the kind words and advice! I think at this point, anything is a step in the right direction! Have an old Apple Watch so will get that out! No change on the job front yet, hopefully in a couple of years! Thanks again!!

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ElfBlossom17@reddit

Yes it absolutely is! I highly recommend you search out Ben Carpenter on fb or Instagram. He is wonderful

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nikkijxd@reddit

So I am also on a weight loss journey and have been making small sustainable changes to manage my weight. Sorry to hear you're having back problems it really can make things tough but not moving does make it worse in my experience (I have spina bifida occulta so get a lot of aggro from mine). Ultimately you need to find what works for you, but i've included some changes I have made Forbidding foods just makes you want them more. I find if i want snacks i have to portion them. nuts or haribo for example I put in ramekins (the gu containers) and I do not limit them but I have to get up to have them, so its a conscious choice rather than a passive one. Shrinking meals but allowing seconds. I reduced how much i was serving u for myself - i cook in bulk so often end up portioning lunches from what i have made, part of my brain likes knowing i can get 7 portions rather than 6 from a recipe. I serve up smaller and can get a little more if im still hungry or wanting a little bit more. however once the leftovers are tubbed up no more picking - i'm taking from tomorrow which my brain doesnt like. Drinking a glass of water/squash when snackish or wanting pop. The sometimes youre just thirsty thing isnt a lie! I don't deny myself the treat but i am ensuring that i am hydrated too. I also try to have a glass of water/squash with every meal. Xbox more. This one sounds counterintuitive but when i am gaming i can't snack or drink alcohol because i dont have a hand spare. Also the evening flies by without snacks. it helps reset the snack habit. Rewarding exercise - DIY and housework are actually underrated bits of exercise. doing these more often will help improve your home life and your health. It is likely you already have a skewwed relationship with food I found i can't leave food on my plate i feel so guilty - i think it is worth evaluating some of your behaviours to see why you are turning to food.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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nikkijxd@reddit

Hopefully it helps a bit, i really hope it goes well

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mcglash@reddit

Calories in vs calories out. Its the only thing that works. Base your meals on protein and veggies. Avoid carba. Drink water. Move more. Any small thing will help.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I feel like avoiding carbs is only a short-term fix though right? It’s not sustainable to remove a major food group long-term, and would only ruin my relationship with food if removed. I’m happy to be wrong!

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mcglash@reddit

can you give an example of a typical meal you would eat?

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Hiya, would you like to DM maybe and I can give you examples?

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ItsKingDx3@reddit

It's not about swearing off carbs for life, or even abstaining from them completely short term. I am also quite overweight and have been making a big effort to shift it this year and have already seen significant results (I don't weigh myself, but I can tell by looking at myself and how my clothes fit me). I spend about an hour walking to and from work most days, but that's basically the height of my exercise. I make a conscious effort to focus my lunches and dinners on vegetables and protein as much as possible, but I will totally eat a burger, pasta or bread once or twice a week, usually at the weekend. It's cliche, but it really is about balance. Hell, I've been eating a moderate amount of chocolate most nights (around 150 calories worth) and I'm still getting results because the rest of my diet throughout the day is good. Something I heard that changed my thought process was, "if it's a dietary change you can't see yourself sticking with 1 year from now, then it isn't for you," because otherwise it's not sustainable, and I'm assuming you too want to get the weight off and keep it off. Which is why I'm not strictly "going off" any foods or depriving myself of treats, I'm just focusing on healthier meals most of the time so I that I can still enjoy them. And if I really want something unhealthy mid-week I'll let myself have it, but I'll try to factor that into my food decisions later on the week so it all balances out. Something that has helped reduce the "food noise" for me is to cut out snacking as much as possible. It's not a hard rule (I keep emergency almonds in my drawer at work for the days when I really feel I need something), but after the first few weeks I've found I don't need to snack at all.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

This is the answer I was looking for, thank you!

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meganj15@reddit

Have a look at the app Foodivisor. I've been using it for about 6 months and have lost over a stone. (I wouldn't say I was massively overweight, I just wanted to feel healthier) When you first start it calculates your recommended calorie intake from your weight/height/age. Then it splits meals up into calories and macro nutrients, you enter what you've eaten and it breaks it down into how "good" it is nutritional. I also like that it gives you daily "lessons" to teach you how to portion food properly and advice on how to keep motivated and fit the new eating habits around your life. It doesn't scold you for "having a bad day", it's actually really motivating and after about a month or so of keeping to the schedule it does actually build a habit and you don't even think about it anymore. I haven't made any changes with exercise, just my diet. I also LOVE cooking, food is a massive part of my day and it made me realise that my portions just weren't right. I now replace carbs with as many veggies as possible, so a meal now consists of about 50% veg, 25% protein and 25% carbs. I usually eat the same thing for lunch as I've eaten the night before and I pretty much always have some form of overnight oats/overnight wheetabix for breakfast. I still go and eat out, it's easy to add meals because the app has a feature that estimates calories based off a photo, I just make smarter choices about what meal will fulfill my macro intake the most. Overall, from my experience, it's possible to lose weight without exercise, you just have to stick to your plan and weigh yourself everyday. When you start to feel progress, it's really satisfying and doesn't feel hard at all to me.

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Lemon-Flower-744@reddit

Thank you! I've downloaded this app Foodivisor. I've lost weight with Nutracheck in the past but it kept my calories the same and I wasn't able to loose weight further. Ive been maintaining for about a year now so it'll be good to use something different !

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ItsKingDx3@reddit

No worries man, you can do it, just remember that healthy weight loss is supposed to be slow and steady. It takes time but I swear you'll start feeling better about it sooner than you think

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Eddie173312@reddit

Agree. It took me about a month for my body to stop craving snacks

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Kara_Zor_El19@reddit

You don’t need to cut any food groups. You just need to eat in a deficit and track what you eat. Yea the weighing and measuring is tedious at first but it works and it becomes routine. Look at Team RH, it’s £8 a month, you get a calculated calorie deficit and macros, and the vids the main coaches post on socials are very much a “tough love” approach which it sounds like you need. At you height and weight you are severely obese, you’re running the risk of heart attacks, strike, diabetes (if you’re not already diabetic, gout, circulation issues and that’s just a short list of the health risks you’re facing. Reality is if you don’t sort yourself out and tackle your weight you’ll be lucky to see 50 or even 40 years of age.

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Branch_Same@reddit

I’ve been low carb for 4 years now and I love to cook- like you I’m a scratch cook. You do get used to it, rather than thinking about what I can’t have I focus on what I can have and for me and my other half we feel fuller, eat smaller portions, and maintain our weight with little effort. It is sustainable I’m proof of that.

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Frohus@reddit

It's not. Technically carbs are not needed at all. The body will take energy from fats.

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Evening-Manner9709@reddit

Youre eight, you cant just up your protwin and quit carbs and call it good. Take this with a pinch of salt, carbs are needed foe your body to function. Cards aren't just white pasta etc either

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chaddledee@reddit

Really it's simple carbs you want to cut. Carbs that also have protein or fibre leave you feeling fuller for the number of calories than those that don't. Broccoli over chips. Fruit over sweets or crisps. Brown rice over white (though that's still relatively light on the fibre, so if you can find something else to replace the rice in your meal it's probably worth it).

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

This makes more sense! If I cut down the amount of carbs I’m eating, can I still have “bad carbs” like white rice or pasta? For example, if I’m eating 1/2 meals a week with them?

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chaddledee@reddit

Yeah dude. The main thing is just getting more protein and fibre into your diet generally. Reducing calories without increasing protein/fibre will leave you feeling hungry all the time, which reduces your chances of sticking with a diet. Most people naturally start eating less when they increase the proportion of protein and fibre in their diet.

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captain_seadog@reddit

Just FYI, try to drink more water when you increase fibre in your diet.

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ohnobobbins@reddit

Low carb, not no carb

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Postik123@reddit

This is the answer. And the good thing is you don't need to cut any foods out of your diet, just control the amount that you eat. I lost a load of fat and got abs whilst still eating pancakes, chocolate, cream cakes, etc. Calories in vs calories out.

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MeanAssignment1169@reddit

Have a calorie deficit, say 1500 a day, stick to it religiously, walk at lunch and at the weekends, the weight will fall off. Im 120lb down in 10 months doing that. I record on the Lose it app, but any work.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

120lb in 10 months is crazy, absolute fair play to you and congratulations. If you have any more advice and would be comfortable DM’ing me, I’d appreciate that. Thanks!

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MeanAssignment1169@reddit

Hi, started off heavy obviously. What works for me is high volume low calorie. Recording everything every day, between 1200-1400 cals normally, making sure to get decentprotein, but my meal sizes are large but low cals. If i was hungry this wouldn't work for me.

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SignatureFull5096@reddit

you say you can’t afford jabs - from someone who lost 6 stone on them, trust me when i tell you that the amount of money you’ll save on food will easily outweigh the costs of the jabs.

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Single_Classroom_448@reddit

You're kind of right that "losing weight is easy" but I think it'd be fairer to reframe it as "losing weight is simple" and the challenge comes from a relationship with food and ability to move, both of which might take some time to properly rehab. Do you have some kind of app that tracks steps for you on your phone, like google fit? Or a fitness watch? If you do and you average say, 4000 steps across a day, you could spend a few weeks nursing it up slowly by a few hundred steps as your back gradually begins to feel better The best way that you're gonna find to be reliable is tracking your calories using an app like MyFitnessPal or Cronometer, you weigh what you're going to eat and scan the barcode and it will tell you the calories you have left for the day. For me this also works with things like lunch meal deals / learning to loosely estimate how many calories are in something like a takeaway. To find out how many calories you need in a day you can chuck all of your stats into a TDEE calculator online, namely your weight age height sex and activity level, and then aim for 300 to 400 calories below this per day to get into a small deficit. At a 350 calorie deficit you'd lose 1lbs of bodyweight every 10 days. I suppose you know all of this but I cannot stress enough that tracking will always be one of the easiest ways to guarantee you lose weight, even with the odd takeaway here and there

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Hi! I really appreciate the response - this is the sort of approach I was hoping for. I’m not stupid, I know that calories out > calories in is the answer - but it’s not always that simple so thank you. I have an Apple Watch that I no longer use, but I’m happy to get it back out. My iPhone records my steps too, and it’s saying I’ve averaged 2.8k steps a day over the last 12 months. I’m not sure if iPhone is 100% accurate, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that count is right. I think I’ll start using MyFitnessPal again for sure! I don’t eat a lot of pre-packaged foods and mainly cook from scratch, so I struggled counting before as I didn’t want to get in the habit of weighing foods and building an unhealthy relationship with food (on the other end of the scale). If you’d suggest this is the only way, I’m happy to give this a go definitely. I think my main worry with being excessive with watching food is stopping enjoying food for what it is, saying no to friends who want to go for good (not that it happens very often). I still want to enjoy myself, but be sensible in my own home. I do try eat as balanced as I can, but I think it’s the odd snacking and portion control, especially with a heavily pregnant partner! How do I say no to getting the chocolates out when she’s craving! Thank you again, really appreciate your help.

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Qatmil@reddit

I find it easier to think of a balanced week rather than a balanced day. So I can go out for calorie-dense food with friends no problem but eat lighter on a couple of other days that week and that way I can still maintain my weight. You seem reluctant to weigh food and I understand that. I weigh myself instead. If my weight goes up then I need to reduce what I am eating, if it goes down then I can increase a bit. When I was losing weight I weighed daily, for maintaining the weight loss I weigh weekly. It could be a really good idea to work out the calories you are eating on a few different days though to give you an idea of where you are over consuming. And I always weigh pasta before cooking as 80g is plenty but if I eyeball it I will put on far more. I am a couple of inches shorter than you but roughly speaking for every stone of weight I lost, I burned 100 fewer calories a day. So it would be good to make the changes as sustainable as possible as although for a healthy weight loss you would be looking to consume roughly 500 calories fewer than you need each day, by the time you are a healthy weight you would need even fewer calories than that to maintain your weight. If you want to make changes to your weight then focus on diet. Exercise has lots of health benefits but it doesn’t burn nearly as many calories as I used to think. I currently do resistance training for an hour and a half and cross trainer for 30 minutes a week and I estimate that burns around 500 calories. To lose a pound a week in theory (but not at all exactly) I’d have to do 5 times that.

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alondonkiwi@reddit

I'd suggest also thinking about what are calorie dense foods and how you watch out for portions. I had a gallbladder issue and had to watch my fat intake, I had to be careful for fat and was measuring out milk for my coffee, but anything fat free I didn't have to worry about. Some things I learnt from that was portions, some things it was pre packed and I'd eat half easily but I realised the portions were 6 in a pack and made me rethink things. Sneaky some things are like 'only 100cal!' in reference to a portion I'd easily have 6 portions even if I knew a pack wasn't one portion I might not realise it was 6. Don't worry about everything to make small wins maybe start with a focus on the carbs in a meal get that to a reasonable portion control you can eyeball then move on to another element. I'd also say snacks are a big one, during covid lock downs this was easy for me as we don't have a lot of snacks at home but going back to an office they give us so many snacks. Maybe even start with snacks only for portions and calories. Really understand that part first and keep meals 'fun' while you reign in snacks. I've always had good self control with chocolate I actually find having a block is better ill eat a couple of squares and be happy but if I have a bar of chocolate I'll scoff it all - sometimes there's also weird psychology in portions, so figure out what can work for you to keep snack calories down.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! You’re right about portions, especially when it comes to snacks - like what do you mean 4 Quality Street is a portion?😂 Deffo need to take my time in looking at what I’m buying!

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Single_Classroom_448@reddit

Weighing your food doesn't have to be the only way, it is just very beneficial when first starting because it ensures 100% accountability. If you can keep that up for a few months, say 3 or 4 months, you'll become great at eyeballing how much of a serving you're having and roughly the calories that one serving of a food will have, and which foods are more calorie dense, etc. From there you can basically give up tracking and just try to stay aware of roughly how many calories something has, etc. If you have some staple meals you frequently eat, that always have roughly the same ingredients like a curry or a steak and potato, etc, a breakfast like oats and yogurt and fruit, you'll quickly memorise roughly how many calories they have. Maybe you could build some kind of rotation around them? Like if you go out to a restaurant one day then perhaps the following couple of days you stick with your staple foods that you know put you into a little deficit to offset the typically calorie heavy meals at restaurants, which should provide you with a fair amount of freedom to indulge in things as and when you please whilst still keeping your weight in control And fair enough with the temptations mate, I don't blame you, I personally didn't track my pancakes yesterday, and can think of a few times in the past few months where i've not bothered tracking what I ate when going out, etc Wish you, your partner, and your daughter the best :)

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! I deffo need to do some more research into foods and stick to some meal plans. My biggest win at the moment is I order my food shopping so I don’t get tempted by things on the shelves in shops. Hey, pancakes don’t count! 🤭 Thank you again for your help, it’s been useful. I’ll take it onboard 😃

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captain_seadog@reddit

Good luck with the new arrival! Getting in top of your weight and hopefully that improving your back will make parenting so much easier. You're going to be regularly lifting a progressively heavier weight and keeping up with a toddler is no joke. It'll also be important to model good relationships with food but that also means a relationship that leads to a physically healthy body. It might help to write out goals like you want to be able to take your child for walks in the park, run around the playground, go swimming with them etc as motivation to check back to when you're finding the diet harder to keep going with or to refer back to when you're tempted by something you know you don't need. You can go out with friends for meals but maybe have only 2:courses not 3, or 1 instead of 2, switch drinks from alcohol to water or low cal soft drinks (can still have some wine or whatever but maybe one glass then switch)

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much! First little’un so it’s very scary. I think it’s what kicked me into wanted to do this, I don’t want to struggle to bend down and play because of my back or not be able to chase her around the park because I’ll get breathless!

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Patient_Drink9334@reddit

I managed to lose 1/5 of my bodyweight whilst housebound and not able to exercise, mainly though calorie deficit. I do think that exercise helps keeping the healthier eating on track, helps you build muscle which improves your metabolism. I got a standing desk at work (they are not expensive but you may be able to convince your employer /occupational health to get you one). Don't try standing all day to start with, just a few minutes in every hour and build it up slowly. This all add a little bit of activity to the sitting at your desk all day. You can ask your GP for a gym/swim referral and usually get a free 12 week programme at your local leisure centre. Aquajogging/aquafit is low impact on your joints.. No point in fad diets and mega restrictions, as you need to learn how to eat and drink when you are out and about with friends and family and still enjoy yourself and have treats.

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RecipeBorn4674@reddit

I think there are some things we don’t often think about that hinder us like: - eating few massive meals rather than several small ones - eating a big meal late at night, close to bed time - choosing high calorie UPF snacks rather than healthier options like an apple - alcohol! It has so many calories and stores fat to process the toxin - not doing intermittent fasting - 8 hour eating window - walking as much as possible, eg don’t take the car where you can

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Bababalaba2712@reddit

Start actually looking at the calories things contain. You’d be amazed where they hide and what something like mayonnaise can add to a meal and how many vegetables you could have for the same amount of calories instead. Whenever I’m on a weight loss kick I look at what my resting calories or BMR should be and then try and stick to around that and sometimes up it a little bit if I’m exercising. Also drinking more water. I find it very easy to confuse hunger with thirst

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I’m a sucker for mayonnaise.. but very valid point. Need to do better on sauces etc!

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Bababalaba2712@reddit

Put it this way a table spoon of mayo has almost 100 calories a large carrot has about 40

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chilltulip@reddit

Likewise, a tablespoon (15ml) of olive oil has about 120 calories. I had to show my husband so he understood just how little oil that is. When I'm sticking to a deficit, that's like 12% of my daily calories in one spoonful of oil.

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Bababalaba2712@reddit

Whilst some bottles of white wine are only 400 😂 I know I’d prefer a glass of wine over a tablespoon of olive oil with my tea

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Holy shit.

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WonFriendsWithSalad@reddit

I appreciate what you said above about not wanting to weigh food or do strict calorie counting as a long term solution but even doing it for a few days can really open your eyes. Aside from fats, things like muesli are "healthy" but very calorie dense and the recommended portion sizes are pretty tiny. Having that knowledge can then help to perhaps make a choice where you have a smaller amount and bulk it up with fruit, yoghurt etc. So you have a similarly filling meal but with perhaps a third of the calories

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Adventurous_Story873@reddit

The biggest thing for me was working out my calories. If you use the TDEE calculator it will tell you what you should be eating. At your current weight, you can eat 2241cals and lose weight. The knee-jerk reaction for a lot of people would be, that’s too much- but it’s not. Carrying around extra weight burns more calories. It’s so important to keep in mind this number and recalculate every so often. Also, stick to the number! Don’t think ‘I’ll eat this and make up for it tomorrow’ and don’t think ‘this is easy, I’m going to eat a lot less than this’. It won’t end well. Since you can eat a pretty good amount and lose weight, I personally wouldn’t cut out any food groups. Just don’t drink your calories. I know you said about developing an unhealthy relationship with tracking calories but I recommend even just doing it for a few weeks. Weigh out cheese, olive oil, pasta, meat etc. It’s shocking what it all comes to. I think it would be good if you did that before starting a diet too. It will really help you see where you’re going wrong. For instance, just a main meal at a restaurant is usually over 1000cals. Above all, remember why you want to lose weight. It helped me be self-disciplined every time I fancied a pastry or a bigger portion of pasta.

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ImFamousYoghurt@reddit

Go to a nutrition or weight loss sub for more specific advice from more people who have experienced weight loss. Count your cals with something like Cronometer, you’ll have to get used to weighing your food but it’s important to learn how many cals are in things Fill up on fruit and veg

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Victorius_Meldrus@reddit

Eat fewer calories than you expend.

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upadownpipe@reddit

Calories Eat less of them. Burn more of them. Don't get that order wrong.

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EatingCoooolo@reddit

This worked for me: Skip breakfast, have a healthy lunch (veg and a protein). Dinner (veg and a protein) I would walk to the station and back instead of jumping on the bus. Did this for a month and could see nearly 80% of fat gone.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Such conflicting advice! Always told breakfast is the most important meal of the day 😭 I need more protein! Wish I could walk to work! Would be a lifesaver (literally) but it’s a 100 mile round trip every day haha.

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EatingCoooolo@reddit

Cereal companies made up the rubbish that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The reason to skip breakfast is the fasting you do from dinner the previous day to lunch the next day. That’s about 16 hours of fasting everyday. Black coffee is better as it doesn’t make you as hungry as black tea. You don’t have to walk all the way to work. I would get off a stop or two before my stop and that be about a 30 minute walk.

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ohnobobbins@reddit

*Breakfast is the most important meal of the day *if you are a thin person.* If you are in your situation and need to lose weight, intermittent fasting means you need to train your body to be happily hungry. That means not eating til 12pm. Honestly, the biggest trick I learned was tolerating hunger. It comes in waves and subsides. A cup of tea wards it off. Your body needs to learn how to be hungry again, because it’s normal and healthy. If you’re serious about wanting to lose weight, look at OMAD. It works.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Did not know that! Assumed it was a blanket statement so thank you. I’ll take a look at OMAD, never heard of it but will do some research and see if it’s something I could do! Deffo need to tolerate hunger though, so easy to go to the cupboard when I don’t actually need to.

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Remarkable_March_497@reddit

I will get straight to the point. 13 hours out of the house, I wouldnt want to exercise either. If most people call what you have a bad relationship with food and you dont, thats a you problem. You've tried the gym before, social anxiety is a great excuse. You arent doing what your physio has told you...what do you expect to happen? You cant walk 30mins??? I think you just have a shit tonne of excuses and you need to start building habits. You need to understand if everybody thinks this and you dknt, then that doesnt make you a trailblazer, its makes you in denial and out of touch with reality.

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raccoon-overlord@reddit

First thing is your diet, even if you managed to exercise every day you won't lose size until you get your diet under control. I can only recommend stuff that has worked for me but there is no one size fits all kinds thing as everyone's body is different, but what has always helped for me is cutting down/removing, sugars, carbs and especially gluten. Drink plenty of water, not just liquid but specifically water. I too have a disc issue and it's caused my workouts to change but I do lots of things which have helped, mainly by focusing on exercises that strengthen my posterior chain. The exercise helps with weight/size loss but diet is the most important thing and once you find a diet that works for you you'll start seeing a change

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Parakiet20@reddit

Stop all sugar and anything else with sugar. Read the labels.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

What about artificial sweeteners? How do those work? If popping into a shop for a drink and I want something with flavour, I often pick up a flavoured water. They’re sugar free, but filled with sweeteners - where’s the happy medium?

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Parakiet20@reddit

Should be okay, but if you really are battling with weight loss try GLP1 , seems to be helpful for lots of people

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Ok-Rain6295@reddit

Reducing calories and moving more is the way. Switching to brown bread, pasta, rice if you haven’t done so already. I find white bread etc causes me to feel hungry quickly (probably due to blood sugar spikes) but the extra fibre in the brown version helps make me feel fuller longer. Eat slower and give yourself 20 minutes after eating to decide if you need more. It takes about this time for your stomach to register as full. MORE FIBRE Walking. Start slow and build it up. Even just marching on the spot in front of the TV for 5-10 minutes at a time will help. You can also do light weights in front of the TV.

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VictoryAppropriate68@reddit

Okay the only way any of this is going to work is if YOU can discipline yourself. There are some very basic changes you can make that will begin to make the difference. Half the portion size of your meals, and stick with it. Don’t go get extra after a meal because you’re ‘still hungry’. What sized plates do you currently use? Get smaller ones, don’t go back for seconds. If you usually use a full pack of chicken a meal, half what you use and make it 2 days meals not 1. Add basic additional actions to your day, walking up the stairs? Go back down and up again. Making a tea? Do squats while the kettle boils. Sitting on the sofa? Standup and sit down 10 times before you settle. Reward yourself for these things. Every 2 weeks you manage to complete this routine, allow yourself a cheat meal where you have something you’re craving. Consistently is key. This change will not happen over night. You need to commit to these changes for a minimum of 6 months before true results will be seen

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LetterheadDry4930@reddit

Hello. I’m 5’7 and weighed 92kg, down to 83 now. It’s all about lifestyle adjustments. I reduced portion sizes, consciously reduced fat in my diet, reduced processed food, drink lots of water / reduce booze and sugary drinks. It all adds up. If you can’t walk for 30 mins without it being painful… start by walking for 15 mins and build up your stamina.

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TheLoneEcho@reddit

Cooking is one of my passions too. Always has been. I cook every night with my other half. I was in the same boat as you and lost 5 stone a few years ago. All I did was cut the calories. I still ate what I wanted. Still cooked all the things I wanted to cook. Even had some nice things like cake and chocolate on occasion. I upped my water intake significantly. I basically carried a bottle of water with me wherever I went. My wife jokingly called it my "sidearm" because it went _everywhere_ with me. Up the water, reduce the calories (buy smaller diameter plates - that also helped me) and the weight will drop off. Exercise is great too, but you can't outrun a bad diet. 20 minutes a day. Go for a walk, even if just around the block. It will do your heart health a world of good.

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JoeDaStudd@reddit

Start by walking more in short bursts.\ Take the slightly longer walking route to the office, use some of your lunch break to have a walk around the area or even just the office and when the days get longer an after work walk with your partner. If you don't want to go to the gym then there are a lot of workout apps and programs you can do which are Calisthenics and isometric exercise which is just a fancy way of saying doesn't require any equipment and use your own bodyweight. The other half of the equation is calories coming in.\ Looking for healthier food options and cutting down snacking is likely the easiest way. However it's worth looking into your drinks as it's easy to forget about them and it can soon add up. Unfortunately being overweight makes any back issues worse so you've got a catch 22.\ Also with a new born you'll be doing a lot of bending and twisting, they only get heavier and more wiggly as they get older.

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RedTedNed@reddit

The Zoe podcast has got a lot of inspiring episodes. Not about weight loss, but eating well and it feels like making a positive change, rather than denying yourself anything. Make some easy swaps that don't feel like you're sacrificing. So if you have porridge for breakfast, swap to proper oats, rather than the instant. Add in some other grains, but butter, fruit on top.... You'll find after a bit you don't crave the junk food so much becyypir gut microbiome has switched and is now making you crave the healthy stuff you've been eating. As for exercise, stick in some Just Dance on YouTube and dance around the kitchen. Lots of simple strength training exercises you can do on there too with a step stool, some exercise bands and weights. When baby comes, take her for regular walks with the pram/sling so your partner can take a nap. Good luck.

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Floschi123456@reddit

Eat less, move more. Simple as that...

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BroodLord1962@reddit

“losing weight is easy” No it's not, it takes discipline. Eating less and eating healthily are key. Setting goals and tracking everything you eat is important.

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Infinite_Edge1442@reddit

I was told by my GP that I was borderline obese and I should lose weight. She told me that NHS has an app called Weight Loss. It's completely free. Granted it's not the most intuitive weight loss app of all time perhaps (I haven't tried anything else), but it gives you a very good start and get you to be mindful of how much calories are in the food you are eating. You put your height, weight and target weight. It gives you a guideline on roughly how much calories you should be consuming. I didn't realise how high calories some of the food were! I've lost 15kg in about 9 months. I managed that by combining daily fasting of about 11 hours (don't worry, sleep counts!), calorie deficit (1900kcal/day) and volume eating. I LOVE my food. So it took me about a week or two, to get used to it. What I found was don't stop eating your favourite food you want to eat, but eat anything that would classify as "volume eating" prior to eating the favourite food so that you don't end up eating high calorie stuff as much. For example, I would eat salad made of shredded cabbage, cucumber, tomatoes first before I munch on some fried chicken, pizza, cheeky chinese takeaway. You will struggle at first, but key thing is getting used to knowing the calorie intake and sticking with your target!

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viridianvantage@reddit

It's honestly 90% down to diet. Don't worry about exercise until you lose some weight - I can guarantee you'll find it much easier when you do. As others have said, track what you're eating and make some smaller portion choices and lower calorie/higher protein swaps - use Frylight instead of oil/butter, have some Greek yogurt, fruit and granola or biltong or whatever you prefer, instead of a more empty/sugary snack Like you, I love food and cooking, so when I lost weight (5st) I spent time prepping at least components of meals (easy to make a lot of rice, chicken and vegetables in one go to be used in different meals for example). Take a look on YouTube or instagram for inspiration, there are countless people publishing simple recipes that are lower calorie/higher protein and still very tasty It doesn't have to be boring - I was eating "normal" meals like spaghetti bolognese, curries, sweet and sour chicken, tacos, etc and even fit in Nutella on toast as a daily treat and still lost weight pretty quick (and I'm a small woman, so would have had a more severe deficit than you - you can get away with eating a lot) Give small increments of walking a go either way, it's great for you both mentally and physically and doesn't have to be more than you can handle Best of luck and congrats on the baby :)

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Adorable_Orange_195@reddit

Using an app to track your food intake - such as MyFitnessPal, you can add the ingredients of the meals you cook so you can be more aware of how much and how healthy the things you are choosing to eat are. Losing weight/ getting leaner is 80% nutrition. Have you considered a treadmill or walking pad- you can do smalll 5-10 mins of exercise every 1-2 hours and gradually it will add up, if you do it consistently. Speaking to your GP may also help, as you may be able to access support groups or dietetic advice through them.

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Geniejc@reddit

Calorie counting and walking. Very much like you desk bound. I dropped from 19st to 11st 5 in around 18 months from age 35 to 36. The first 3 months I didn't even go to the gym or really calorie count. But I did stop snacking between meals and have better portion control. I love food and cooking. You probably need to get out of the enjoying food mindset and treat it as fuel. Then I started in the gym but I found apart from some stretches I very much gravitated towards walking on the treadmill. Incline walking. I had the same fears but honestly no one cares what you look like their all in their for their own reasons. About 6 months in I added some weight work. Keep your heart rate between 100 and 120. That's what torches the weight. Try and work out some targets I used my BMR as a guide when i started counting to not have beyond that daily. Ideally a bit less. Weird as it seems you need to learn what it is to feel hungry and sometimes go to bed on that hunger as long as you've had enough calories. The same with the fatigue you have to exercise "tired" - but actually it is energising and as the weight comes down you'll feel better. You say you can't walk for more than 30 minutes at the moment. Don't then. Do 10-15 mins twice a day. You don't need to hurt yourself. If you cut calories and are more active you will lose weight. And don't pin it on your daughter. It has to be your call for you. As with all things I'm 50 now found my wife about 2 years after I started and I have 7 year old twins. I'm 15 stone now, still active and better for it. I bounce between 14 and 16 st. Good luck with it.

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JC3896@reddit

Calorie deficit + start walking. Limit your drinks to water and black coffee.

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PsychologicalRun1911@reddit

You can't out exercise a bad diet anyway. It will speed up the weight loss but you need to change your diet regardless. You can lose weight with just diet you can't lose weight with just exercise. You may find some kind of intermittent fasting schedule easier to stick to.. you're an addict you need a very strong restriction, or go whole food vegan or something. Just trying to eat healthier or count calories won't work. If you do intermittent fasting you need to have your feeding window at the end of the day as once you start eating you won't be able to stop until you sleep.

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SugarPlumSkyeye@reddit

Real talk, you don’t need some secret hack, you need small consistent changes. Start with food since exercise is rough right now. Track what you eat for a week, cut portions a bit, swap snacks for higher protein stuff, and stop treating takeaways like a weekly hobby. For movement, do whatever your back can handle, even 5 minute walks or physio safe stretches count.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I think portion control is a massive contributor! I don’t eat excessively (in my eyes) but my portions are definitely larger than what they should be. Do you have any recommendations for snack swaps? I eat anything and try anything.

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captain_seadog@reddit

Going to be harsh here, to be your height and your weight, even to simply maintain your weight without gaining more, you are eating excessively in terms of calories per day. You've probably stretched your stomach out a bit so you're able to eat a bigger portion without your stomach hurting / eating less doesn't make you feel full. It'll take getting used to if you start eating smaller portions. You might also be snacking more than you realise or at the very least not realise how many calories are in your snacks or drinks. Even mixed nuts can be high cal even though a healthy snack - very small amount needed. I found swapping from a latte to Americano an easy win when I was looking at my diet (even whole milk to skimmed can be a good start). Could you do 3 x 10 min walks a day (or more often)? Try to push on speed to get your heart rate up but not so much you hurt yourself. You could even do fast walk for a minute where you can't hold conversation followed by two minutes at a slower break to catch your breath. You should be able to fit a 10 min walk into a lunch break. For snacks, try a veg plus a protein. The protein will help you feel fuller. E.g. carrot sticks and hummus, apple wedges and peanut butter, ryvita cracker with hummus or cream cheese. You need to measure out the peanut butter or cream cheese though as they are the calorie dense part of the snack. Have you tried keeping a food diary for a few days to track how much you're actually eating? If you measure pasta out by eye for example, how much does it weigh then how many kcal is that from the packet?

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

You’re not being harsh, you’re just being truthful and realistic and I appreciate that. I’ve definitely increased the amount I can eat, but I’m trying to limit that but I do find it leads to increased snacking. 110% snacking is an issue! I don’t snack super often, but I don’t take note in the calories or sugar etc because I don’t think about it and I really need to be more mindful. Funnily enough, I’ve just driven home from work and voice-noted some snacks for future and including carrot/celery and hummus so I’m glad to see it recommended. I don’t take a lunch-break at present and just eat at my desk, but I think a walk would help me get away from the desk as well as helping me lose some weight. Food diary: I’ve tried tracking calories on MFP before (loosely) but as others have said, I’ve obviously done it wrong. I think I need to give this ago and then revisit the advice I’ve had so I can see where I’m going wrong. I haven’t been tested for anything, despite being overweight my doctors have never mentioned it when going in for general illnesses. I feel relatively healthy in myself, it’s just my joints that are suffering (have other issues anyway) so I’m not too concerned but will keep an eye on it. Will deffo try and follow the plate percentages. Carbs are a massive downfall, I think they’re so easy to indulge in and go with almost every meal! Deffo happy to reduce and swap, but don’t want to eliminate as others have said. Thank you for the time you took to reply and the advice, it’s really appreciated.

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intothedepthsofhell@reddit

Using MFP you have to be really strict. Log everything, and don't ignore (for example) the butter on your toast. There are lots of "hidden calories" that people ignore, like not logging you drink 3 cans of coke a day because it's not food. Be honest with yourself. Losing weight is a simple case of burning more calories than you consume. It's obviously harder to do, but the science is simple. So first use an online calculator to work out your calorific needs for the day using your weight and activity levels. Then using MFP aim for a \~200 calories per day reduction. Every month, re-calculate your calorie needs as it changes as your weight changes, and maintain that -200 calories. And do this consistently for *months.* You didn't get to 21st overnight, so you won't drop the weight overnight either. As you shed the weight, the exercise will get easier, then you can turbo charge it with exercise as well as diet. And remember why you're doing it - you're doing it for your kid, which is a great thing to do. Keep that in mind and you'll succeed.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you🙌🏻 I’m prepared to be strict!

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Regular_Energy5215@reddit

Everyone is different in what works for them. Calorie counting works for me as I make it my goal to structure my day so I get to have a treat after dinner - I also make sure that every meal is yummy to me so I still enjoy it. I enjoy the admin of it and learning about foods that work well and how to size up/size down on certain things. I’ve dieted this way 3 times and always most effective for me - 2 of the times I couldn’t exercise at the same time and still lost weight rapidly. One thing I will say is that the first week is the hardest where your appetite is adjusting, but it always shocks me how quickly my body shifts to not needing the amount of calories I had previously been eating

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captain_seadog@reddit

If you can, start scheduling yourself a half hour lunch away from your desk. 1) allows mindful eating 2) enables the walk. You're entitled to it and if your workload is too much that you can't have lunch, then it's worth a chat with your boss. Ultimately, you being healthier is also good for them if it means you avoid proper time off sick in future.

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Character_Arachnid65@reddit

Sounds silly but with your meals try using a smaller plate, if you use your normal plates/smaller portion you’ll feel cheated but a smaller plate will trick your mind into thinking it’s a full plate, also try and sit down at the table and eat mindfully, not while watching tv/scrolling etc. Since you have a little one on the way meal prep might be a good idea for you also, it will save you time and an internal battle when your tired and just want to have dinner, it will take the takeaway food out the equation. Good luck and wishing your little one a safe delivery 🙂

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cheesecake_413@reddit

Chop up a whole bunch of veggies that you enjoy raw into batons/sticks (I like cucumber, bell pepper and carrot). Stick them on a plate and put the plate within arm's reach of where you sit in the living room. Because it's right there, you're more likely to graze on the veggies than go to the kitchen for a higher calorie snack. I also keep my fruit bowl on the living room coffee table for the same reason - if I'm peckish, I'll grab an apple or banana rather than go and grab some crisps

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Genius! Will deffo do this for those days where I don’t do a lot and just relax! Thanks 🙌🏻

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Eddie173312@reddit

Remember to drink water too! I was 18 stone. Reduced my calorie intake, drank water, stoped snacking and went for a walk everyday….. I dropped 2 stone in 3 months. Oh and I did those months with no booze too.

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DeepNegotiation4542@reddit

This is such an important part of weight loss, preparation. If the snacks and meals are there then you are more likely to go for them, if not a biscuit etc is more likely. If possible, restrict the available high calorie snacks in the house, may be difficult if others want them. I try to prepare breakfast and snacks in the evening. To begin with I didn't really look at calories, I just wanted to introduce more healthy foods into my routine, so that was the aim. I now love zero calorie Greek yogurt and blackcurrants. I started with quite a big bowl around 10am and it keeps me full way past lunch. I have to be careful with lactose but for some reason Greek yogurt doesn't seem to cause much damage. I'm lucky, cheese causes me major issues so I can avoid that lol Also, think of the healthy foods you actually enjoy. I love greens, lentils, carrots, and most veg. I also love rye bread, the darker the better. If I make a salad I like everything chopped into chunks and add things like chopped apple, grapes, celery. A bit of everything. Texture matters. I like chunks lol. Fruit wise I'm into berries, sour and tangy. These are the foods I try to prepare because I enjoy them. I love new potatoes, nowt wrong with spuds. Nothing worse, when you're depriving yourself, is eating stuff you don't like much as the temptation to stray is higher. I've stopped all alcohol because it's liquid cake lol I have a slight curvature in my spine that causes discomfort but walking helps. When it's really bad I find leaning on a supermarket trolley and going around the supermarket about three times helps. Don't be buying snacks though doing that lol. And when I'm ok I do walk. It's hard to motivate yourself but I walk a friend's dog and love that. Inactivity is not the friend of a bad back long-term. I also recently got diagnosed with a skull based tumour and I'm depressed. It's caused me to stay inside and eat through boredom and stress, but I'm recognising this and addressing it before it sticks. You have clearly acknowledged your issues and that's such a hurdle to do, you've done that and are addressing it. Don't underestimate that part of the new you.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you for the advice and kind words! I’ll take everything you’ve said on board and try some new food combos. I feel you on the curvature! Twisted spine, slipped disc and hyperactive shoulders here so it’s a cocktail of agony 😂 It sounds like you’ve got a hell of a journey yourself, so good luck - we got this. If you ever fancy chatting away to someone, feel free to DM me and I’m happy to add you on a social if you wanted!

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DeepNegotiation4542@reddit

Thank you. Well, my curvature is very little and at the base, so I maybe really underestimating your pain, but I do know that long-term inactivity can cause me more. I don't want to make yours worse, sounds a lot to deal with, but you're on your way!!

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rebelallianxe@reddit

Restricting calories is the key - it sounds like you eat similarly to how my husband and I did and we've both lost 5 stone over the last 2 years after being diagnosed with diabetes and pre-diabetes, respectively, in our late 40s. We used an app (nutracheck) to track what we were actually eating and it was a massive eye opener. We do walk quite a bit (now that we can) and husband goes to the gym but honestly it's mainly food. We've both reversed the diabetes doing this and feel so much healthier all round.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

100%. Congrats on the weight loss to you both, that’s an incredible loss. I hope I can follow in your steps!

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rebelallianxe@reddit

Thank you so much, and you can! I wish you luck with it!

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thethirdbar@reddit

I really recommend nutracheck too for tracking

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Over MyFitnessPal?

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InkedDoll1@reddit

I massively prefer nutracheck over MFP. I think it's about £28 a year but the interface is just much nicer and it has more features. I don't think the free version of MFP has a barcode scanner either, which is very useful

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rebelallianxe@reddit

I tried that one but found nutracheck had a simpler layout. Maybe trial both.

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Puzzled-Job9556@reddit

>I don’t eat excessively You don't get to 21st by not. And to be blunt, you're going to have to get over the social anxiety and/or put up with the pain that 30 mins walking does. Small changes though to start - park further away from the office, take a longer walk to the printer etc. Don't eat more than 2000cals a day. All else fails, use Ozempic.

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zephyrmox@reddit

bot

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ExquisiteBooks@reddit

Up your protein and reduce everything else portion wise on your plate. You can still have carbs but it can’t be the biggest thing on your plate. And obvs portion size reduce in general. I’ve been having spicy chicken rice and vegetables and that seems to help me loose weight. Protein yoghurts for a snack.

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One-Dig-3067@reddit

If you follow portion recommendations on packets etc I think you’ll find you’re probably eating 3-4x the recommended portion and that means 3-4x the calories that you glance at on the packet. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you consume. If you can’t exercise then you need to realise that it will be harder.

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OwlDust@reddit

Mounjaro has been working great for me.

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ToxicBloke@reddit

Monjaro is nice. I lost 10 kg in 3 months and that includes dieting.

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Red-Rose_@reddit

I recently lost weight by making it as easy as possible for me. I love being lazy and comfortable, I bought myself a walking pad off of amazon and set it up in the house and make sure I hit 10k steps a day. I tried going to the gym twice but really can't get into it. I have goals to make my own fitness area in my house when I can but that'll be in the future. If walking 10k straight away is too much, why not start with 5k or 2k? I always say to myself anything is better than 0. I then paired this with MyFitnessPal and tracked the food I ate, I buy stuff like Hellofresh to make calorie counting as easy as possible as they do it all for you. I love convenience so I also found food I make a lot and inputted them as recipes on the app so I can just select it for the day. Some days I also pre-plan what im going to eat and input it on the app cause then I can be a bit more conscious of the calorie intake. I think a lot of fitness advice, whilst good, can be overwhelming and does have a difficult entry point if you are starting from 0. You can really get it in your head when all you need to do is just take that first small step.

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gagagagaNope@reddit

You're my height and I weight about 12 stone. My lifestyle i quite similar to yours. I'm a little overweight, but i'm over 50 so not unusual. I walk when I can (and walk briskly). I walk up escalators, I take stairs instead of the lift. You don't have to do formal exercise to keep active. You are two and a half times my weight. I'm not going to be kind. You're enormously fat because you eat far, far too much. You're going to be diabetic, soon (if not already). If you carry on you will be dead before your child gets to school. You won't be able to pick them up when they fall and hurt themselves. Just think about that - she'll be desperate for you to help, and you won't be able to. You won't be able to carry stuff when your wife needs you to. This is not an issue with exercise. That's a handy excuse for you to excuse your massive overconsumption of food. It's very simple - consume fewer calories than your body needs each day. You've been consuming 2, 3 or 4 times what it needs. Ignore people talking about cutting a few carbs or whatever, your problem is one of quantity, not food groups. Losing weight is not easy. It takes time, a lot of time and a lot of effort. You need to stop snacking. Stop the takeaways. Massively cut your portion sizes. No second (or third portions). At home you need to start measuring/weighing portion sizes to learn what a normal plate of food looks like because it sounds like you've completely lost all measure of that. Sounds silly, but get smaller plates, get those with a dip in the centre and a wide rim so you've a handy reference of the area that should be covered with food. I suspect your other half is complicit in this too - she needs to do this as well. No eating away from the dining table. No phones whilst eating. People just graze constantly now distracted by the TV or a phone. Good luck. Start today and you'll already be feeling better when she arrives. When she does take her out for two 30 minutes walks a day in the pram. The weather is getting better. Prams take a lot of the strain off you walking so you'll actually find it easier than without (I ached like hell at first when I started walking properly again without one). As she gets older she'll love these - as soon as you can (6 months or so) have it facing forward so she sees the world. Turn off your phone/computer and head out now for a walk. Take some water with you.

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kylehyde84@reddit

I've lost 30kg recently. Structured diet of around 2000cal a day 10k steps a day average (started I could only manage like 3000 in one stint with a stop at 1500. Now I regularly do 15000 in one go) Gym. 3 times a week - weights only - no cardio I think you would maybe benefit from an online trainer whoncsn push you along and keep you focused, accountable and on track. Do your research though as some are better than others.

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AverageOldGuy@reddit

Bluntly, you eat less and move more. Work out your calorie requirements - use the no activity setting on the likes of MFP to do this - and then stick to it. I went from 18 stone to under 15 doing this.

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Alwayslearnin41@reddit

Losing weight is NOT easy. Like climbing a mountain is NOT easy. Food and eating can also be addictive. It's a way of relieving stress, it's comforting and familiar. It's sociable. It's no different to other addictions. Except! You cannot love without it. You can live without chocolate, crisps, herculean portions, but often any food, even healthy food can trigger cravings and overeating. Losing weight is NOT easy. However, just like people climb mountains, you can lose weight and it starts with one change, then another, then another. The science is simple, eat less calories than you burn. Right now, you could probably eat 1900 calories and still lose weight. You may need to decrease that by 50 calories every 2-3 months, but start there. The NHS has a useful calorie tracker but it's not very dynamic. I personally prefer My Fitness Pal which has a fairly inexpensive paid option that is excellent. Their free version is adequate though. The NHS also has a walking app called Active 10 that I use and really like. I'm also highly exercise averse due to health issues that make it challenging. But walking in short bursts is really helping me move more. I've lost weight many times and I'm maintaining pretty well just now using calorie counting and walking. It's not easy, but you can do it.

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FantasticMeow@reddit

Bariatric bypass but you still need to limit your food intake. I have never been fat all my life. I love to cook and eat but I don’t overeat and I eat small portions. Because of that, despite being in my 40’s I remained slender. My husband used to be fat, but he since lost so much weight after Bariatric bypass. He is on low carb diet that I mostly cook at home. It’s been 5 years and he did not put on weight.

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noinch@reddit

I found the best way to track was to just eat ready meals. That way I knew exactly what I was eating.

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asuka_rice@reddit

Take up a hobby like walking, hiking, cycling, running, etc. Eat less carbs and eat fibre than processed foods.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thanks! Would love to be able to run one day😃

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asuka_rice@reddit

Walk then fast walking. Plus wear thicker clothes so you’ll sweat more or just spend time in a hot sauna..

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bisectional@reddit

Count calories. Keep a journal and be honest with it. If you drink a bottle of wine every day, write down how many calories that is. If you eat cookies or curries, count every single one. The only way to be in charge is to keep track of reality.

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Secret_Owl3040@reddit

I would forget significant exercise for now and focus on food. I don't think you need to calorie count but just take notice of what foods you're eating that may contain significant calories (e.g. if you use a lot of cheese and cream in cooking for example). You need to start cutting portions a bit. And an area of focus to start with should be the snacking. Reduce snacking of calorie rich foods to items like fruit etc. And cut out calorie rich drinks if you drink them, e.g. full fat coke. And reduce your takeaways to once a month. See how you get on after a month of that and hopefully the progress you make will be very motivating.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

I don't recommend this lightly, but Mounjaro might be a decent kick-start for you. By the sounds of things, a strong appetite suppressant could help break the unhealthy habits around food and control your portion sizes. Beyond that, the only way to lose this weight is to eat less and move more.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you. It’s a last resort for sure, hoping I can do this without!

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facialtwitch@reddit

Mounjaro my friend! However…. I got a health coach alongside using it so they could help me make changes that would stick after finishing with it and it worked. I used an online one to save money but they really did help me with my relationship with food I have health issues that mean gym isn’t feasible for me.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I think Mounjaro is my absolute last resort if I can’t do it myself, but appreciate it works for other people! Part of it is the needle (🤢), part is the cost and part is the uncertainty of knowing the long term side effects. Hopefully I can do it without it!

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facialtwitch@reddit

No worries! Honestly it was mine too so I hear you!

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Agitated-Builder-582@reddit

I get incredible results with Lighterlife. It’s shakes and bars and powdered meals but the weight literally drops off. It is protein heavy/carb light and you get all your vitamins and minerals which manifests in looking/feeling healthy quickly. When on it I don’t miss food and any hunger pangs are quickly eliminated by drinking more water. Once you hit ketosis (around 3 days) it’s a breeze. I didn’t bother with a mentor, as I hate the idea of fat club. The key is then to keep it off. Once you are lighter, more exercise becomes feasible. I’ve yoyo’d a bit over the years and due to a knee operation am no longer able to exercise so am now maintaining my weight through Lighterlife during the working week and eating normally at weekends. To put context to this, I lost over 5 stone (35kg) in under 4 months last year and am keeping it off nicely and effortlessly this time.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

You lost 5st just on Lighterlife? What would happen if you came off it?

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glaekitgirl@reddit

Looking at your replies and concerns, you might find r/volumeeating helpful. As I understand it, eating lots and lots of volume-heavy foods of nutritional value and lots of fibre etc to fill you up, but low calories/carbs/sugar/additives.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the recommendation!

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TeLoBecchi@reddit

Hey, I can offer some advice about the snacking. I'm really bad when it comes to things like chocolate. If I know it's in the house, then I will get intense cravings to eat it all in one go. Especially if I have a bad day and I get home with the "fuck it" attitude which happens more often than not these days... So I just don't buy the foods I know I will binge on. I try and shop online and stick to a list so I'm not tempted by offers and stuff walking around isles. But if I do go to the shops then I make sure I've eaten just beforehand so I'm not hungry, and I use up all my willpower to not buy chocolate/biscuits/cakes. Then if I get an evening where I fancy a lil snacky... tough shit... I'm annoyed at first but after 10 minutes I find I've forgotten about it!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! It’s so easy to “treat yourself” after a shit day. I always shop online now, so I don’t get tempted!

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blackcurrantcat@reddit

The reason for the physio is so you can walk 30 mins without pain. You have to go through the pain to get there though.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Yup, as they said - no pain no gain! Just fucking awful 😂

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alrightpickle@reddit

Everyone is saying you need to eat less and obviously that's the real key to weight loss, but there are reasons why that's harder for some people to do than others. Obesity is complicated. If it was easy to get thin, we'd all do it. Reading through your comments, it doesn't sound like you currently have a lot of mental energy to devote to weight loss. Starting a new exercise regime when your life is about to turn upside down with a newborn baby is just not going to happen. You don't want to use GLP1s, calorie count or go low carb. I would adjust your expectations of yourself here and don't aim for significant weight loss right now. Start some other good habits for now. Try to get 30g of fibre a day, aim to make half your plate of every meal non starchy vegetables, try to build up to being able to walk for an hour (take your little girl on loads of nap walks!), keep a food diary to work out what your good and bad habit currently are (I've found AI really useful for casual food tracking).

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Yeah you’re spot on. I know the basics (burn more calories than consumed) it’s just getting there. Baby steps and I’ll get there! Thank you so much.

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Nohopeofanoscope@reddit

Speak from experience, a few years back I gained a huge amount of weight, had to stop when I walked 20mins and my lower back was agony, kept with it and after a week or two the pain went away and I was walking for an hour with no discomfort, it's amazing how quickly you can build it up. Small changes in diet, counting calories and dont look for quick fixes, 1/2 pounds a week is achievable with consistency. Good luck, it's a hard journey but rewarding. On a side note, don't fixate too much on weightloss, if you notice changes in your body, baggy clothes etc that will add to the motivation. Good luck

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you🫡

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TrashbatLondon@reddit

Calorie tracking is very important. You’d be surprised what absurdly tiny things push you over. Particularly cooking oils and condiments. Be disciplined with measuring and reporting what you would do normally to understand where you’re over your daily amount and then start making the adjustments you don’t mind changing. Much harder to punish yourself than to do stuff you barely notice. Then once you’re in a position where you’ve optimised your cooking, you can take the next step of planning meals by calories. I tend to plan out 200 cals for breakfast, 400 for lunch and 600 for dinner. That’s 1200 calories base. This leaves a shit load of room for snacking, and means if you get a bit impulsive on a single meal, it won’t put you in to the bad zone. I’d aim for 1800 calories per day for relatively rapid weight loss, but maybe start a bit slower and aim to break even at 2100 for 4 days a week and be under that for 3 days. That will show improvement that will motivate you. A couple of tricks that really help: - chicken sausages instead of pork - you get used to the tase of light mayo in about a week - fry light spray replacing sunflower oil where possible, will cut 100 cals off a meal easily. - mushrooms make a meal seem more substantial and don’t need oil or butter to cook, and are practically zero calories. Flavour with chilli flakes and dried thyme. - remove sugar from hot drinks (general advice for behaving like a grown up anyway) - mild hot sauce will compliment protein and veg based lunches really well for almost zero calories. - pasta portions should be 85g to 100g. Measured dry. Pasta is the easiest thing to be a bit heavy handed on. Get a weighing scales.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Great advice, thank you!

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murr0c@reddit

Generally, losing weight comes down to calorie deficit and that's it. But there's more to it. A bug deficit can make the body burn muscle as well as fat and you don't usually want that to happen because it'll slow the metabolism and make it likely you'll gain back the weight. I recommend 3 things: 1. Start tracking calories & protein. Yes, it'll suck initially because you need to weigh stuff etc, but it'll teach you shocking things like that one ham and cheese croissant is 800kcal or that small cup of nuts is 400. After about a month you'll have a massively better understanding where your excess calories are coming from. You can use an app like MacroFactor to simplify this a lot. 2. Ensure you don't eat too many calories or too little protein. The second part is important for keeping muscle mass as you're losing weight. Keep the deficit reasonable, 500 per day deficit is widely recommended. Walking is very helpful for this deficit as well so it doesn't all have to come from limiting food. 3. Lift weights. The weight can be bodyweight to keep things simple and the workouts don't have to be long 15-20 minutes a day is fine. I use kettlebells because I find them fun and very space and time efficient. You can knock out 100swings in under 10 minutes after a short while of training. The most basic thing can be just 5 sets of pushups and 5 sets of squats and it goes a long way. The purpose of this bullet point is again to keep your body from catabolising muscle when it's in a deficit.

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Mojofrodo_26@reddit

I use weight watchers and have had success with them- they have some really good recipes as do pinch of nom, so if cooking is your hobby, learnto cook healthier. You could give ww a try? It helped me know what a portion looks like, helped me know where my calories are going and incentives you to move more to earn treats. You can also go online only with ww so you don't have to go to meetings. My go to snack is grapes and roasted chickpeas (stick em on a baking tray with some spices and low calorie spray and bake till crispy.) We have take out weekly still but we pick the healthier options and usually share a main and rice from the Chinese as the portions are massive. My mantra: Nobody ever got fat from eating too much veg - Just don't deep fry it. Exercise wise, I suggest getting a pedometer and trying to increase the amount your moving. This can be a simple as taking an absurdly long walk to the loo in another department. Taking a little walk every couple of hours and having a ten minute walk on your lunch break. On that note- take lunch and healthy snacks with you so you're not tempted by take outs. You'll save cash too. Keep on trying, every pound lost is a win!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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CasualNormalRedditor@reddit

For your size and a very rough guess that your body fat % will be around 40%. Your calories per day to eat and not gain weight (TDEE) will be around 2500 calories Use my fitness pal, weigh everything, track calories properly (don't cheat yourself like for example Oil is often ignored even though it's very calorie dense), and keep yourself at 2300 calories. You'll lose weight sustainably. There's no secrets to weight loss, it's simply a calorie deficit you need. Like others have said, proteins help get the full feeling and veg do too as they're low calorie for what they are. You'll need to adjust to feeling hungry still after a meal. Drink water, wait 20minutes, it does pass. I'm currently on a weight loss journey (though on a smaller scale than what's ahead of you) and this was a big hurdle for me as I had trained myself to seek the full feeling directly after a meal. You're not going to get an unhealthy relationship with food from a small calorie deficit and being mindful of what you're eating while tracking it. You can still have a takeout occasionally, you can still have your favourite meals. Just moderate. If I know me and my lass are getting a takeout for tea, I'll have a lower calorie lunch. The next day I'll try to be lower calorie too. As long as in the whole week, calories consumed are below your tdee, you're doing it right. Throwing in exercise is good but tbh the amount of exercise needed to offset calories is so much more challenging than eating less.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

The only way I managed it was to do weight watchers online. It takes a while to get it set up and understand how it works, and you have to write everything down. But it's the only way for me, otherwise it's too easy to go off-piste.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Didn’t know you could join online! What a great idea. I looked for a local slimming world group, but they’re all 9-10am when I’m at work which is disappointing. Thank you!

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Miss_Type@reddit

Just hijacking this comment because I was about to suggest slimming world. Going to the group sessions is more effective than doing it online. The support you get is invaluable. I'd say if you don't have an evening group near you, look for one a bit further away - it's worth it! If you were to follow the plan, you will definitely consistently lose weight. You will find lots of people at slimming world groups with stories like yours, you won't be alone. There are also loads of SW cookbooks, and in group sessions people often share recipes and ideas. You'll find lots of creative ways to continue to enjoy cooking, with a few small changes. As far as exercise goes, it's good to do it to be healthier, but it's not the way to lose weight, no matter what some people might say! Going for a half hour run burns something like 250-300 calories. That's not even a sandwich! You'd need to be moving all day, every day, for exercise to make you lose weight. I'm not saying don't exercise, it's good for your heart, your bones, and your mind, but you can't use it to lose weight. I'd start with going for a 30 minute walk in the evening a couple of times a week, and maybe a longer walk on the weekend. Walking is easy, free, and you can do it anywhere and you don't need special equipment. You made the first and hardest step by being real with yourself and recognising you need and want to make some changes. I look forward to the update in 6 months! Good luck!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! I’ll look further afield and see if I can make a few every so often. I think the peer to peer support would definitely help motivate me as it’s so much harder to remain focused when there’s no-one and the same boat as you in your immediate circle. I’ve probably avoided it because of the syns programme if they still use that? Found it very restrictive when my late grandmother used to be on it, albeit that was over a decade ago! Thank you for the kind works, I appreciate it. See you in 6 months 🫡

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Miss_Type@reddit

If you go to groups in person, you get charged for missed weeks. You can't just drop in and out every so often. SW have years of data to show people lose weight more consistently by attending a group every week. Honestly, prioritise losing weight - prioritise yourself. Don't make excuses, just find a group and go. Everyone there is also trying to lose weight, you'll find shy people, loud people, those who are friendly, and folks who keep to themselves, but everyone there has their own weight loss story and they understand what you're dealing with. They just changed the program and got rid of the name "syns". They've changed the name to swips (everyone hates it, I can't even remember what it stands for). Most people get 5-15 swips a day, but at your weight, it would probably be more like 20-25. They got rid of "red" and "green" days ages ago too. Free food is now meat, all fruit and veggies, pasta, potatoes, rice, store cupboard staples like your spices and herbs and things like worcestershire sauce, marmite, Bovril I think. Then you get 3 healthy extras a day. That's your dairy and bready things, and it also now includes nut butters and avocado, as healthy oils. The stuff you have to limit is the *stuff that makes you put weight on*, like cream, butter, vegetable oils, sugary things, fatty things. If you really want to lose weight, you *should* be restricting those things! SW is easy to follow because they've done all the weighing and measuring for you, you don't have to calorie count etc. If you're serious about losing weight, find a group and go every week, and follow the plan. My consultant is a great guy called Lee, if you're struggling finding a group, I can see what he suggests. DM me if you want to chat :)

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

That’s great, sounds like it’s a lot easier to follow now! I remember seeing red and green days, what a throwback. I didn’t know about the missed charges, will hunt down a group! Thank you again, I may pop you a DM later on!

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Miss_Type@reddit

Hope to hear from you soon! I reached my breaking point last year and joined SW to make a change. It was hard going, and I admit I didn't stick to the plan at first, thinking I could cheat and be ok. I'm steadily losing now though, and trying to do the work on the mental side of things!

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TheRadishBros@reddit

Running the numbers, you’re currently consuming around 2,750 calories per day to maintain your current weight. If you can drop that to 2,250 per day, you’ll lose 1 pound of weight per week.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Holy shit, I can do that.

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TheRadishBros@reddit

I know you can! I did it, it genuinely is that simple, but you need to ensure you’re tracking everything properly (drinks and cooking oil are easy to forget).

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mightyfine87@reddit

I am male, 38 and weight was about 18 stone Rather than reach for a snack in boredom I would ask myself if I’m really hungry, cut down to one meal a day with my physical output pretty minimum and I’m down to 15 stone!! I see hunger as a competition, like tell myself “you that much of a pussy you can’t go half a day without food?” , I enjoy every meal So much more and I appreciate different things, I get excited for a tin of beans or slice of bacon 😂 I played sports before and cardio was never fun and I didn’t put the pressure on myself to do that, instead focused on what I eat and when I eat and it really amazed me I’m not saying copy me, but find little improvements which are manageable and be patient Like if you have take away everyday , have it every other , swap crisp for nuts , chocolate for fruit and after two weeks you’d see and feel a noticeable difference, and if you don’t? Try the next part which you believe could cause issues , so drink sweet tea rather than coke, have one less sugar in hot drinks For me , the trick is finding something easy which makes a difference, then when you notice the change or feel different, that alone becomes a motivation and I find self love can come with it Almost as if there was a spell on you! The only person you need to please and make happy is yourself , you’ll be amazed at how strong and capable you are, you just need that moment to see it and see the improvements Also, tensing helped me! I also dislike the gym and started off tensing , so sat down in your office chair, tense your legs for 5-10 seconds then relax, do the same with arms and chest, it’s literally working your muscles, when I’m waiting for the kettle to boil I go on tip toes and crotch down to work my calf’s and thigh muscles , it sounds so lazy and stupid but it has worked , best shape of my life and healthiest body I’d still struggle with cardio more than I’d use to but less than a couple months , but physically and mentally stronger and I can ease into cardio Patience is the main thing, I’d measure and weight before you start and in weeks you’ll see differences and it’ll push you to do more, you’ll not second guess if anything is happening, you can see and just have to continue I believe in your brother , you got this

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you and congrats on your weight loss! Will take in your advice and kind words 🙌🏻

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BlackCatWitch29@reddit

36F, 5ft 7in, 12st 12lb I am also not very active but I was never a fan of PE even at school. This time last year, I was about 16st 1lb. I've since lost 3st 3lb by changing my diet a bit. I haven't done anything about adding daily exercise. If you struggle with your willpower and keeping going with making changes, I would recommend Slimming World. The groups offer support and advice. There's no focus on the macros (calculating protein, fat etc) but there's a whole library of recipes that can be made, and/or prepped, which are healthy. I don't have to forgo having a takeaway but I'd rather cook it myself now anyway. I also still have white rice and pasta as often as I want but my portions are more controlled as when a recipe says it feeds 4, it'll feed me for 4 meals and I portion it up when I serve after cooking. (So I cook once every four days.)

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Congrats on the weight loss! Thank you for the advice. Others have suggest SW so looks like I need to find a local group.

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BlackCatWitch29@reddit

The main website has a function for that. Wishing you luck!!!!

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unicornvega@reddit

If you won’t go to a gym get a walking pad for your house and get those steps in. Try swimming twice a week too- less pressure on your back and joints but will help. The big thing is to stop putting hurdles in front of yourself “I can’t do this, I can’t do that” and if that’s hard then do therapy alongside the exercise. Over eating is disordered eating and it didn’t come out of nowhere so addressing these things with a therapist will really help.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thanks! Think a walking pad is a great shout.

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Strange_Cranberry_22@reddit

People rarely make consistent habit changes by overhauling everything at once, it’s too much and hard to maintain once the initial enthusiasm/willpower has worn off. Perhaps the first thing to do is acknowledge that changing your life for good is a long term project (I.e multi year) and set some targets maybe for the next 6-12 months for what you want to achieve (lose x weight, be able to walk for x minutes x times a week, etc). When you think longer term it’s easier to think about how all the little steps you can take will help you and it stops the knee jerk reaction of trying to do everything at once. You’re about to have a big change in your life - taking up a new exercise regime or massively changing your habits would be challenging for anyone with a newborn. Lean into the stuff you’re good at - it’s great that you’re cooking from scratch, so I would focus on your diet and reducing your energy intake for now and make some progress there. Also, regardless of how much exercise you it’s unlikely you would lose weight doing that alone without keeping a lid on your energy intake. Once your dietary habits are embedded in your life, you can then start introducing small changes to your activity and gradually increase over time.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

That’s where it’s so easy to go wrong! It’s easy to feel pressured to do everything at once which is why I came here. Thank you for all the advice! This big change may just be the best thing to happen to my health.

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Evening-Manner9709@reddit

Batch cook now before your baby arrives. Pre portion it. Our first 3 months we ran on adrenaline. It would be 9pm and wed realise we hadnt eaten as we'd been so busy with the baby.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Literally did this two weeks ago! Pre-portioned 40 meals in the freezer!

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WomanUnravelled@reddit

Eat only when you’re hungry. Eat until you’re satiated. Not full, but not hungry either. You can always eat again later if you get hungry again, just follow that same rule of eating until satiated (eg a 6/7 out of 10 rather than 9/10 where you can barely move) Make sure you’re not scrolling on your phone while eating - you need to be listening to your body No need for calorie counting. Take a 10 minute walk after each meal. That’s it. The weight will fall off if you genuinely listen to your body.

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g00dbyem0onmen@reddit

Given your stats this is a rough ball park. If you struggle with binging maybe try volume eating low calorie things like cucumbers, look it up :). https://preview.redd.it/dbqh5nn467kg1.jpeg?width=4320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=552acd6f34e48e43705d954fb9d0746d8b871a96

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Hey thanks for working that out! Crazy to think I need to drop 1k calories for 2lb a week but what’s gotta be done needs to be done 🙌🏻

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g00dbyem0onmen@reddit

The other option is drop 500 and do a one hour walk, might be nice if when baby comes you take them in the pram, let mum have a nap.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Mum will be coming with me, she’s already planning on losing the baby fat! 😂

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RebeccaCheeseburger@reddit

Hey, I lost 2 stone and it was from working out 3/4 times a week, 2 spin classes a week and 1/2 weight training (I got a peloton bike as I don’t like gyms) I generally ate well like you, I just wasn’t active. I had friends who did the jabs and they all lost weight super quickly and I found that so frustrating, as I was working out and losing maybe 1lb a week, but almost 2.5 years later I’ve kept it off. I still enjoy my wine once a week and eat out, as I love food and I wanted it to be a lifestyle change, not a quick fix, working out and boosting your metabolism and tracking your calories is the only thing that works!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! I’d love to get to that stage eventually. I’ve also know a couple of people who did the jabs, and I agree - it’s so disheartening seeing it drop off because of them. Whatever works for them though! Thanks for the advice and well done for keeping it off!

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RebeccaCheeseburger@reddit

Thank you, I can’t say I jump for joy at the thought of exercising, but I never regret doing it, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Make sure you have a plan that fits into real life, don’t deny yourself of anything or do a regime that’s unrealistic in the long run.

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The25er@reddit

You're gonna have to shift that mindset of I "don't eat incredibly unhealthy". I'm guessing your portions sizes for everything are double a normal sized person at least. You honestly can't get to that weight at your height without taking it overboard on every meal . I think the first step has to be the gp mate, any bmi checker will tell you that .

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Yeah I get you! The foods I eat aren’t incredibly unhealthy as in I eat a lot of veg, meat etc but also eat carbs with most meals as it’s habit (and common tbh) but yeah the portion sizes and snacking doesn’t help. When I meant not unhealthy, I meant I don’t sit down with a pizza or a takeaway every night - they’re treat night things or have 6 slices of toast for breakfast etc! Will follow a lot of the advice given here and then approach the GP, would like to try get on top of it myself without medical intervention if I can! Thank you!

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captain_seadog@reddit

If your plate looks empty when reducing your portion size, try eating off a smaller plate. We have a size that's between a side plate and a dinner plate that psychologically made me feel like I had a full plate still

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Great shout. I’ve got flat bowls (?) that are mid way between a side plate and a dinner plate!

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ohnobobbins@reddit

It’s just two little habit changes. Walk more, and intermittent fasting. Give yourself a window of time you can eat in, like 12pm - 8pm. Walk 5000 steps a day, factor it into your routine. I try to walk rather than get the bus. Walk some or all of your commute. NB I’d also recommend you change your diet somewhat. Try to eat porridge every day, yoghurt & fruit is great for a treat, only ever eat dark chocolate, eat tons of fruit, fish, veg and salad. Cut out butter. Olive oil is better for you. Have a food treat day once a week when you can eat what you want. 6/7 healthy days is better than none.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you! I’ve seen a lot about intermittent fasting, maybe I need to have a better look and see where it could fit in my day. Walking 110% needs to happen regardless to try ease this back injury. Diet will be changing. I was thinking of overnight oats, would this be suitable for a daily lunch (breakfast in that window I guess?).

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ohnobobbins@reddit

Yes exactly re the oats. I do porridge with semi skimmed milk, blueberries and a bit of honey. I make x3, decant into bowls and refrigerate so I don’t have to bother making it every day. Take to work in Tupperware, scoff at 12 and then you’re full til supper. I struggle with omad so I do two meals a day - porridge and supper. My husband does omad and is in great shape now, it’s remarkable.

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Various_Ad96@reddit

Mounjaro will change your life

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

I know, just want to try it naturally.

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alltorque1982@reddit

Then why aren't you?

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

That’s why I made this post, for advice?

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alltorque1982@reddit

But as someone has said further down, you are putting up obstacles for every piece of advice given. It seems like you're saying you want to lose weight because you feel you _should_ because of the 'see your children grow up' thing. If that's true, then you would be far more accepting of the fantastic advice you've been given. I have struggled with my weight for 20 years. And I am incredibly active. I walk daily, and train 5 days a week. For me, I discovered I am an emotional eater. Not in the way that people usually think, but more about food became an emotional crutch, and I thought about food alot. I would fixate on things and it became an emotional focus. This inevitably led to disordered eating and obesity. I tried fads, diets, apps, slimming world, etc. Nothing changed, or change was minimal and then I'd slip back into old habits. I did Mounjaro out of desperation and it changed my life. I gave myself a year on it and lost so much weight that I went back to old sports, ended up coaching, am fitter and healthier than I've ever been. But I did EXACTLY what I was told by my supplier. I still ate, I lost weight at a sensible pace, and I listened to my body. If I craved chocolate one day, I'd have some. The difference is, the MJ absolutely minimalised the food noise. It enabled me to make better choices because I had room to think about more than chocolate (for example). It made me less impulsive, so I wouldn't go to a petrol station and buy £15 worth of junk, I'd just buy petrol! Too many people use MJ as a quick fix, they lose tons of weight, and don't address the underlying issues. I did, and it changed my life. The cost, judgement from others, and it being 'cheating' is all irrelevant when you balance it with less cost of food, compliments for looking good (if that's your thing), and feeling healthier and fitter. Good luck.

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Ev_3@reddit

You may actually qualify for it on the nhs. Speak to your GP

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mkroberta@reddit

I downloaded the NHS app 0to5k to help me to go out and start running, also downloaded my fitnesspal app to check my intake of calories. It's not a quick process but it's helping me. In 2 months I lost 1 stone. It's a small step every day. Good luck

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Congrats on the weight loss! I’ve downloaded both apps this morning and will take a proper look after I’ve had a sleep (been on the night shift😴). Think I’ve downloaded Couch to 5K about 100 times but will try it if my back allows as it can’t be THAT hard.

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TSC-99@reddit

If you’re like me and have a very bad food noise, what worked for me was Mounjaro. People don’t understand the food noise and since I went on that I realised how much of a mental challenge losing weight is.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Damn, I know you’re right but I’m so uncomfortable with the thought of it!

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WolfCrazy64@reddit

Ive lost 5kg since the end of December by calorie counting and making sure i stick to a strict calorie limit, with cheat days on Sundays only. Im using my fitness pal if that helps.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Got the app downloaded and ready! Thank you and congrats!

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Mediocre_Shallot1659@reddit

Keto, I am like you, I dont excercise, I go to work, come home, have food and then sit down and play video games until bed time. BUT, I start a keto diet on the 15th November and I am already just over 12kg of weight lost and I am on track for a total loss of 25kg loss by May. Keto consists very low carb and sugar foods, so no bread, pasta, cakes, chocolate etc, its been the easiest diet I have ever done and has totally changed the way I think about food, sometimes I will go into the supermarket to get something naughty and I look at all of the biscuits, cakes, chocolate and realise that I dont want any of them stuff anymore and just eat some more chicken. I'm 51 years old and have the attention span of a potato, but Keto for me has been life changing.

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PureHugeJobbie@reddit

Cut down how much you eat and exercise more.?go for a walk at night and arty weekends. Buy an exercise bike for your home (and some weights) sorted

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EWatson2496@reddit

Honestly, calories in vs calories out. Download a calorie/macro counting app (My FitnessPal is what I used). Calculate your TDEE to find out what your current energy expenditure is at a sedentary level. For the first week just count your “normal” calories and see just how much you’re eating and think about what you can reduce. Count liquid calories (oils, dressings, drinks). This gets you into the habit of tracking. Second week reduce calories by around 500 calories per day from your TDEE. This should (unless there’s underlying health issues) mean a sustainable weight loss of around 1lb per week. Expect a “whoosh” of weight loss in the first few weeks due to water weight. Once you’re in a routine and feel able to, start exercising. Nothing major to begin with. Walking is great and easy on joints. You will want to lift weights at some point otherwise you’ll lose muscle as well as fat. Weight loss is simple maths. Unless you’ve any health conditions it’s all about CICO. What’s hard about it is changing the habits that led you to become the weight you are. You’re not alone, a lot of people have been there. I lost significant weight mainly just counting calories and walking more. Once I had that routine down I started incorporating lifting into my routine and also tried making healthier food choices. The reason I personally failed in the past was because I tried changing everything all at once. Calorie counting, gym 5 days a week, salads all day, 10k steps everyday. It’s no wonder I burned out in 2 weeks. Small, sustainable habits are the way. Remember you didn’t become this weight overnight, you’re more going to lose the weight overnight. Good luck!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much, and congrats on the weight loss yourself! Have downloaded MFP 🫡

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tommycahil1995@reddit

Little changes will do you a world of good. I have my own issues with back pain from a football injury so I sympathise with how this affects things. You eat way too much. You've said in other comments you don't think you do, but you do. Your portions are probably too big and/or you have a second portion. You need to work out much calories you're consuming everyday. You shouldn't eat more than 2000 max and if you want to lose weight it should be less than that. Since you aren't active you can't really justify more if you want to shed weight. This is honestly a massive first step. Because of your weight you don't have to worry about the gym so much to start with. In terms of exercise plenty of it can be done at home. There are loads of good workouts that need no equipment or anything on youtube. I personally do a few of these. Also if you're into gaming, Nintendo Switch has a game called RingFit adventure that I would really recommend. You get a ring controller and it really is a good workout especially for beginners. Also short walks are still fine. You could probably still walk a couple kilometres before your back starts hurting. It will make a big difference if you do it everyday while also eating less. With my back injury last year I used to do 20 mins around the area by my house every day. Felt like it helped. Make sure you get some good shoes though, walking a lot while a heavy weight won't be great for your knees. I recommend Brooks running shoes. I'd say your focus is the first steps. Don't think about running at the gym, or doing something really difficult. Count your calories, go for walks 5 times a week, do something stretch's or youtube workouts a few times and you'll start losing weight. Maybe cut out takeaway's completely just to see how that changes things. If your back can handle it maybe throw in some very light weights and do some of them at home. Don't strain yourself 4-5km should be fine to start with.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Ouch! Yeah injuries really do put a spin on things. 100% I eat too much. I don’t eat bad things, just too much. As others have said, I need to start watching what I’m eating properly and making sure I don’t go over a set number of calories. Thanks for the recommendations around exercise! I’ll have a hunt for some YouTube videos and start doing some short walks. Regardless of whether they make a huge difference, it’ll help in other ways too and probably help me stick to the food side of things a bit more if I’m “feeling more healthy”. Don’t tell me about the Switch because it’ll give me an excuse to buy one and the missus would kill me 😂 Thank you again! Little steps!

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SavingPrivateRianne@reddit

Just need to eat less. So stop snacking and takeaways. You’ll absolutely see a difference with minimal exercise as when you consume these they’re bound to be pushing you beyond your daily limit of recommended calories. I weighed 16st and now 13st, on my way down more atm. I work in an office and don’t have much time for exercise, so cutting the bad habits have been absolutely key. It’s not easy though, but you’ve got great reasons for doing this. Good luck!

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you so much! Congrats on the weight loss 🥳

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DaughterOfATiredMech@reddit

From someone who finds exercise daunting. Walk honestly it’s great, you won’t even know it’s happening till it happens.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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JustQuestioningCosas@reddit

Head over to r/loseit - we’ll help you over there.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Cool, thanks for the recommendation!

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No-Structure-8125@reddit

Given that you've listed all the wrong things you do, it sounds like you know what you need to do. Start going to the gym a few times a week, do a mixture of cardio and weight lifting. Cut down on your food. Find out what your tdee is, take 500 calories off that, and stick to that number. Track everything you eat.

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LindenTreeHill_@reddit

Cut the sweets.

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West_Yorkshire@reddit

Keto diet. You can be losing 1st a month doing keto. >20g carbs a day isn't easy at first, but after about 7-10 days you will not be hungry. I can go about 10 hours after waking up in a morning without having anything because the diet is really good at blood sugar control, so doesn't make me hungry. I'd at least Google how the Keto diet works because I feel like a lot of people don't stick with it because they don't realise how good it is. Your body is doing a u-turn on how it uses energy. Rather than using carbohydrates as energy your body uses body fat.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

For someone who is in my position, is a “diet” really the answer? Is it not the case that most people who start a diet, then revert back to normal and put the weight back on? I’m happy to change my habits, change the food and quantities I eat - but I don’t want to become obsessive by avoiding food groups etc.

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xp3ayk@reddit

Don't view diet as a temporary weight loss plan to achieve a specific weight loss goal. View you diet as the foods you eat long term. Your diet is absolutely what you need to fix, and yes you need to make long term changes

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West_Yorkshire@reddit

Maybe just try to have a low carb and low sugar diet, because carbs/sugar = makes you hungry.

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XStaticImmaculate@reddit

I’ve lost 8 stone since March (around the same weight as you were, but I’m taller at 6ft 5). I had a big birthday coming up and wanted to be on top of my weight for it. The main things I did were: • I used a local meal prep service for my main meals that had defined macros and calorie controlled which helped me with portion control (I’m an eat the whole thing kinda guy). I made sure that for snacking there were snacks available that wouldn’t over do it. Calories in and out were tracked. I also chose to cut out alcohol as it was impacting my progress (Drunk me loves a takeaway at the end of the night and hungover me refuses to cook) • I got a walking pad to get my steps in initially (I did a lot less walking than you at that stage) which helped me get my steps in. It’s also great to get some movement in when it’s freezing outside • I took progress photos. Lots and lots of them. Whenever I was feeling demotivated (which comes with losing weight) I’d look back on them and compare. Unbelievable how motivating it can be The best advice I can give is to start with small goals and build up to them. For example, if you’re doing only 2000 steps a day at the moment, set a goal for 3000 a day and build yourself up. I’d set completely unachievable goals, not reach them, then get upset I didn’t and cheer myself up with a takeaway. This is already a long post so I won’t go on, but I wish you all the best and I think it’s commendable you’re wanting to do this for your baby. All the best.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Hey, thanks for the kind words and congratulations on dropping 8 stone! That’s incredible work. Firstly, how did you find the meal prep service? Did you find it restrictive? We’ve done Gousto a few times (I know not local) and I feel like that might be an avenue to continue down more considering it’s all balanced and portioned ready. Do you have a link to the walking pad? I jokingly suggested to my partner that I should get one for when I have some time to game on the weekends and I could walk and play Xbox at the same time 😂 Ergh, photos! I think it’s a great motivator once you get going! Thank you again, it’s going to be a long journey 😬

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Grand_Act8840@reddit

1. Walk. Make time to walk. Don’t make excuses 2. Volume eating: replicate bigger portions by having a greater amount of low calorie veg. Tricks your brain into having a big portion but for way less calories. I use loads of garlic mushrooms in my meals as a side. 3. IF/OMAD - if you love cooking and big meals, skipping breakfast or doing OMAD will mean you have more spare calories for those meals. Less likely to go over calories too. 4. Cut down snacks and replace the snacks you keep with fruit/veggies. I love to rotate my snack choice weekly! But bell pepper remains a key one - low calorie, but so delicious.

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Theonewithcurls@reddit

I know you don't have loads of time but there are short workouts on YouTube lots of which do different ability levels so you can adapt to your needs etc. I hated the gym and found one that did dance based ones last year and that combined with a better diet I lost weight. I hated exercise but this I enjoyed

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

Oh cool, thanks! I don’t have a lot of time, but I’d rather spend 10-15 minutes of that time if it’s going to help. You got any videos you’d recommend?

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Theonewithcurls@reddit

I liked grow with jo, she does a lot of dance based stuff which I found more fun and she has 10/15 minute ones. I've not done it for a while because I had a baby but planning to get back into it with her.

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Fraggle_ninja@reddit

Calories - eat less, eat healthy. Exercise can help improve metabolism but it’s mainly diet when it comes to fat loss. However you say you’re going to be a dad and want to be the best dad so you probably want to address the attitude to exercise - cardio helps heart function, strength ellos muscle mass etc: ability to run around after your child, lowers chances and risk of chronic illnesses, lowers risk of longer comorbidity as you age. It’s about looking after yourself - and being lazy (low motivation) and not looking after yourself could be a lack of self esteem (and you say you have social anxiety) so maybe find someone to talk to about what’s going on there, which might help motivation to take care of yourself (and set a good example for your daughter).

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TheNotSpecialOne@reddit

All about calories. And if you do want to exercise, try simply walking. Do 2 or 3 miles and slowly build it up to 5 miles walk one day.

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JennyW93@reddit

By a food scale. Weigh your food. Get a calorie tracking app that is easy to use. Use it for everything you put in your mouth - food, drink, sauces, dips. Repeat for a few months. Unless you already have a restrictive eating disorder, this will not ‘give’ you an eating disorder. You already have an unhealthy relationship with food, so you don’t need to worry that counting calories will give you an unhealthy relationship with food. That ship has long sailed.

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spunkkyy@reddit

Honestly the best thing you can do initially is just really up your fruit and veg intake. Fruit and veg has loads of nutrients, fibre and low calories. Fat is incredibly calorie dense, be mindful of foods you eat that have high fat. Also typically anything ultra processed is designed to be tasty and often not very filling.

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YOF626@reddit

Exercise more, eat less.

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Dizzy-Replacement193@reddit

Get a Fitbit, set yourself a deficit (can start with aiming to lose half a pound a week for example) track your calories. If you’re burning more than you consuming you will lose weight.

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Responsible-Match418@reddit

One way that you can dramatically lose weight and enjoy food is to do the keto diet for one month. Buy lots of cheese and meat and salads, then go on a full carb detox for a month to kick your body into ketosis. Following that, after losing a significant amount of weight, you can then intermittent fast with an eating window of 1-8pm. Since you'll be used to cheese and meats, you'll naturally float towards those, and cut out bread and doughnuts and crepes and croissants. Then, you ease into a sustainable routine that continues to leverage ketosis through minimal carbs and through fasting. Make sure your cheeses and meats (calories) stay below your maximum. As you get skinnier, you can start exercising by staring with walks, cycling, maybe following HIIT style activities on YouTube.

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zephyrmox@reddit

If you can afford it get on GLP1s. It will make the start so much easier.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

With a baby due in 6 weeks, I definitely cannot afford to be buying injections!

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Master-Trick2850@reddit

Best way is ozempic and such if you can afford it

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shaggykx@reddit

What worked for me is i got a job in a factory, where i am on my feet for 8 hours straight. You get used to surprisingly quick. I also dont eat at all while I'm at work, found it unnessecary, and then I started halving what i had for breakfast. Was quite overweight when i started, but shed the excess weight in around 12 months. Been 3½ years and weight stable and in a routine now.

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JuicyPineapples53@reddit (OP)

That’s great! Well done 🥳 I don’t have the right career to be able to go into factory work, but it’s deffo a help!

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Trees_are_cool_@reddit

Eat fewer calories than you burn Eat smaller amounts, especially of higher-calorie food Drink lots of water, eat lots of fiber If your new mindset is working, great! If it isn't, start logging calorie intake and find places to cut some Stay focused if you want results

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