yeah she probably doesnât think of herself and her friends as old. i donât when Iâm around my friends. Then we realize the event weâre reminiscing about took place 4O years agoâŠ.
The show is very inconsistent about the nice house. At times Blanche is a well off widow and daughter of old money and yet she has trouble affording a new roof and needs roommates to make ends meet. Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche all still work. And when Rose gets fired from her job Blanche was totally going to evict her.
Way more than necessary in response but it kinda got away from me.
I also spent my entire adult life extremely obese and then lost most of it just before I turned 40.
My "mirror moment" is "who's that sexy old guy?" I still don't recognize my "merely overweight" self now if I catch myself in the mirror unexpectedly.
I know she really answers âit was me!â in this episode, but I feel thatâs only because it was the pilot (with Coco, the fabulous gay housekeeper) so their characters werenât fully fleshed out yet.
Had this been a few seasons in I feel like Dorothy would have shouted a cultural reference instead. Something like âWHISTLERâS MOTHER, ROSE!â lol or maybe âSHELLY WINTERS!â or something to that extent.
Anyone elseâs brain go there at the end of the scene? đ
I don't know what I did to escape this anxiety, but I'm totally comfortable getting, looking, and feeling older.
I can think of two reasons that I am pretty much unaffected:
One, I was raised in a house where distal neglect was my primary experience, my parents were too busy hating each other and getting divorced to notice that I was struggling.
Two, I am child free by choice. Per haps there is a connection to point one.
A lot of feeling old is about comparing yourself to the people around you. My forties have been the best yet and I have not avoided all the 40 year old health changes. I will die one day, but I will live my life one day at a time until then. My body will be old and ugly if I'm lucky. It will get sick while others are young and carefree and there is nothing I can do about either.
I'll say this, after having kids I feel much younger! I don't compare, I live vicariously through them and get to experience new things I'd otherwise never have been exposed to. I can be childish and silly and we have a great time, no judgement or prejudice. It's really just a matter of perspective and how you approach parenting - and for some, sadly, it's a chore and a burden. I feel for you, I wish you'd have had a better childhood! But I'm also happy you're content with your life now, that's really all that matters!
I think I might be in the same boat. Sort of. When I was younger, I thought Iâd definitely at least be doing Botox by now. But I just donât want to. I donât need or want to look younger. Itâs not as scary as I was expecting. Mammograms arenât even as bad as I thought they would be. I think not stressing about it and focusing more on my health and less on my appearance has helped. And yes also not having children.
⊠is your pfp Hanson? That is delightful.
The point of being childfree is interesting! I can see how not having that reference point can kind of free you from some aging anxiety. Seeing my babies become teens is a reminder of how much further I am from my own days in high school. And having teens in the house keeps me up to date with a lot of pop culture but it is really an onslaught of new new new with no time to marinate in what I truly enjoy. This is obviously excluding all the aging that tends to happen to parents through the simple act of birthing and raising children.
This. Back in a job sitch I worked in my 20s, surrounded by young coworkers who are all so sweet and nice, but I feel being 20+ years older than them all every. single. day. Which maybe wouldn't bother me except, like, how did this happen?? đđđ
I see picture of young me and current me and I still see the same person. The only difference is Iâm fatter with more lines on my face.
Now when I have to get something out of the bottom shelf in the kitchen I feel approximately 80.
I just thought of this different clip, I saw this before Betty had even died. Rose asks "what happens when there's only one of us left?" and it just really struck me how odd it was that she was the one saying the line.
[Golden Girls one left](https://youtu.be/sliDAF6wZm8?si=AURwESBbPzqSV1JV)
Not yet, but about 10 years ago my 83 year old grandfather said he felt like a young man trapped in an old man's body every time he looked in the mirror. It has haunted me ever since.
So much accuracy.
I never feel 40s until I see myself. Or walk up a few flights of stairs. I can do it, but my lungs and knees definitely remind me that I'm closer to 50 than my brain likes to think.
This is what no one tells you. Your meat mech body might break down over time but I still feel like I am the same person I was when I was young.
Cognitive diseases aside of course.
A man and his wife are sunning on the beach.
Wife: "Shit."
Husband: "What's wrong?"
She gestures at a much younger woman walking by.
W: "I'll never look like that again."
He glances, then looks at his wife.
H: "Neither will she."
Can't remember where I read it, but it stayed with me.
I have that almost nightly when i shower, as im getting ready, taking a look at my cancer scar, heavy wrinkles in my forehead, drooping eyes and eye bags
Those cameras are wide angle, which bend the field of vision beyond normal human vision, so things closer to the lens are exaggerated like a large bulbous nose and forehead, while other defining features like hair and ears seem to disappear into the background. So you don't really look like that. I mean don't get me wrong, you're still old, fat, and ugly, but you're not *distorted*.
Wait. You have cameras at the self-checkout? Is that a U.S. thing?
The only cameras Iâve seen like that are at the customs kiosk at the Vancouver airport. Trust me, you donât want to see how they do after a long flight added on.
The worst angle! Iâm with you there.
I also have a refrigerator that makes me look about 30lbs bigger than all the other reflective surfaces in my house. If thatâs true was a deliberate design choice intended to keep folks from snacking, it works.
I love it when Iâm in the grocery store and look at tvs with cameras view being shown. Itâs the glorious 4k view of my male pattern baldness that reminds me I need to shave. Even better if my kids point it out to me.
They're not cameras, they're facial recognition scanners. You look like hell because you're missing half of your face. Plus the mirroring is backwards so you look like a fucked up clone of yourself.
A few years ago I walked into a grocery store that had a camera overhead and behind. To give context, my receding hairline started when I was 17. But until that day Iâd had no idea I was losing the war on the western front too. I had no idea I was even fighting that battle
I work in an office building with elevators that are mirrored on all sides. I guess I took the stairs almost exclusively because one late night I was tired and took the elevator down and that's when I saw it: my crown.
For me it was the pictures my wife took at Christmas where I was helping our younger kid open presents on the floor. My head was leaning down and I saw just how much hair was missing. A few weeks later I just shaved my head and already look better.
I donât know how to link the sub, but /bald is one of the most wholesome subs on Reddit. So many people get encouragement to take the leap. It might make you feel better if you check it out.
r/bald is awesome, such a positive and supportive sub where the members really do uplift others and make them feel better about themselves! It always strikes me how much happier most people look in their âafterâ photos, you can see it in their eyes.
I had a big annual breakfast event thing last year, a fundraising event that it's important to go to, even though it's in the bowels of a hotel Conference Room C and serving not very good food at like 7 am.
Anyway I got all tidied up by the barber, couldn't see my regular one, so just went with a nearby place.
I guess my regular barber has been doing some heavy lifting in the back, because the photos from that event captured the back of my head and oooooooooof.
My husband had this shock in a Waffle House. He turned to his friend and said "bro when did I start balding?!" His friend said "it's.. it's been a while now man." Husband shaved his head that day lol. He was 31 at the time.
Oh is that right. Iâm 62 (and I consider myself a young 62) and I see more of my mother in the mirror every day.
My mom passed 11 years ago, so every time I see her in the mirror I say âhi Rose, good to see you.â
Yup, I'm starting to see my mother now when I look in the mirror and it's such a strange experience. I've been told my whole life that we look so much alike but now I actually SEE her from certain angles. That plus my kids acting like I'm a dinosaur really has me feeling my age these days.
The past year or two, I catch a glimpse in the mirror and a lot of times itâs my motherâs face starring back at me. It always catches me off guard.
My mom used to say that she didnât recognize the old lady in the mirror and I thought I understood what she meantâŠuntil yesterday when I caught a glimpse of myself on video chat. Now I understand đ
My grandma had told me when I was 17 or 18 and it's always stuck with me; how yes of course in her body she can tell that she is 80-something. But the person in her mind, her inner monologue, the person sitting in the driver's seat of her life every day, she doesn't feel any different than the same as when she was 20.
Wiser and more disciplined sure, all the range of things you are gradually more aware of as you age, but in her mind she felt no different than she has always been. The realization of that has helped ME to accept aging, and Im still barely half the age she told me that at
A few weeks ago I heard a line in a show, by a character in his 40s or maybe early 50s, who said "I'm at the age now where you realize that the end is closer than the beginning" and I just. Oof. I had to sit with that one for a long minute. It has been in my head ever since.
I don't mind looking older. I don't have many wrinkles, I dye my hair fun colors anyway so the grey doesn't bother me, and the double chin was inevitable regardless of weight given every woman in my family ever. But knowing that my time here is closer to over now, that realistically I'm past the halfway point and have less time left than has passed, even if I took perfect care of myself... That is the kick in the teeth.
Yup and evey time I remember how old I am. For the past year I've just been saying "How the hell did I get this old all of a sudden?" I swear it just snuck up on me. One day I was in my 20s and then Bam! I'm pushing 50.
I actually had this exact thing happen last week. Two of the girls from my work, 19 and 22, wanted to come see my twins for their birthday. We had a great time, any time Iâm with them I just feel like âone of the girlsâ. Of course we took a picture togetherâŠ
Looking at that photo made me feel like absolute dog shit. Theyâre so young, and so beautiful. That used to be me. Now my skin feels like itâs sagging, my body doesnât feel like itâs my body, I look like I havenât slept in a monthâŠ
Iâm over it now. It was just an emotional moment, I swear I am actually enjoying my 40âs. And Iâll say it again and again - Iâd rather be old, but have had the childhood I did, than be young and have grown up in the new millennium.
Amen on that last sentence. I do not envy the young people of today. I'm happy I had my childhood in the 80s and my teenage years in the 90s. Besides some health stuff, I'm quite happy being in my 40s!
I'm a teacher and was in the teacher's lounge with a group of young teachers, plus one who's about my age. The woman my age was talking about how she's always had a big crush on Rob Lowe and the young women had ABSOLUTELY NO clue who he is. It's always extremely jarring when younger people have never heard of celebrities that I consider A listers. I've had similar conversations with youngs who didn't know who Tom Cruise and Julia Roberts are. It feels impossible because they were EVERYWHERE in the 80s and 90s.
I started growing my hair out about 2 years ago and I still don't recognize myself in the mirror. I'm not sure at what point Jerry Garcia started inhabiting my bathroom but I'm definitely not okay with that.
I feel like this when I start talking about movies. I either get told, âNever heard of it,â or if I share a fond memory of seeing it in theatres/on VHS, the blank looks I getâŠ
The funniest thing about the episode this is from is that it is now so old itself, the bands that were "it" when it first aired are now on the Classic Rock stations.
The Simpsons writing team Mandela-effected the timeline in recent stories to shift Homer's band from being a 60s rock 'n' roll band to being a 90s grunge band (as reflected in the real life Classic Rock shift.)
Lisa was also an aspiring saxophone player during the instrument's golden age of popularity through it's nadir as a toxic instrument that "nearly ruined good songs touched by the instrument."
Yeah, I haven't watched The Simpsons in years but I remember when they retconned Homer and Marges backstory to fight a newer timeline. Homer's songs were parodies of actual 90's songs, like Margarine instead of Glycerine.
Alice In Chains has a great song about this called All I Am:
Cannot recognize the face before me
It's unfamiliar
Time has left me broken down and homely
Can you still see me undisguised?
I dont have mirror moments yet. I look kind of young for my age. But my body moments are starting to signal to me Im getting old.
Im 6ft2 so getting into smaller cars is always a folding exercise. But recently after a long day at work, Ive had to start pulling my 2nd leg in with my arms rather than just being able to bend it and swing it in. Thats never happened before.
Maaan. In the last 2 years it's like someone pressed fast forward on adding aging. Perimenopause started to creep up at around 45, and suddenly curves on my body are shifting places, my chin skin is getting that orange peel texture, under my eyes and my hands are getting crepey skin, and silver hair is trying to compete with the dark color. Like literally in 2 years. The mirror is a surprise every f'ing day.
I just saw a video on YouTube about an episode of Bewitched where the family is in blackface and was like "oh no đ". Then it turned out the episode was pushing for equal treatment of black people and was written by a black highschool class. Faith restored đ
Yes! 45-50 seems to be a freefall roller coaster. Itâs intense how quickly the changes come! And Golden Girls is SO OFTEN my reference point for aging. I remember watching it as a kid and thinking how ancient they seemed and not really being able to tell the difference between Sofia and the other three. Now, whenever I engage in yet another old lady behavior, Iâm usually reminded of seeing it on a Golden Girls episode. I canât believe Iâm becoming a Golden Girl! But with fewer dates⊠those ladies stayed busy!
I'm 48 and it's starting for me. Got my first age spot on my face but also the thing that had really bothered me the most is my vision started going out about 6 months ago. I've always had the best eyesight. When I was young I could read stuff that was sooo far away. My uncle had his own eye glass business and when I was 14 I worked there that summer as one of my first real jobs that I ever had. When it was slow he would show me the ropes of the business and the first week I was there he tested my eyes to see how good my vision was and I had 40/20 vision. I just bought my first pair of reading glasses about 2 weeks ago. I had been putting it off to buy them because in my dumb brain I had this mentality that if I didnt but the glasses then I wouldnt be admitting that im getting old đ€Ł
Estelle Getty, who played Sophia, was younger than Bea Arthur and Betty White.
Around your mid 40s there's a period where you age more rapidly than your 20s and 30s. There's another aging period like that in your 60s too, so that's so something we get to look forward to.
https://preview.redd.it/vijl30f6ygjg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=769f686b2b1c3c1ea6cdad26f8b312f53f5f4d4f
Menopause?!
Perry the Menopause!?
I noticed my first small little age spot near my right eye on my cheek just this week. I'm 48, will be 49 this year. The Grey hair started early for me. I actually started getting my first gray hair when I was in my early 30s. Everything else has been fine and I haven't gotten any of the signs you get like skin on you hands or wrinkles or bags under my eyes. Idk why but thus age spot has really gotten to me. I've always said that I would age gracefully and I scoffed at the idea of any kind of cosmetic work, but this age spot has me thinking otherwise, now. Its not even thay big. Its probably not even a half a centimeter wide. I know thats the start though of my skin starting to go down hill. As someone that's a man, I would like to ask if anyone has any cheap suggestions for skin care that I can put on my face to help with those age spots.
Yeah. I swear 2025 was three years long. Even in photos, Iâve aged. I still remember my dad saying you feel young and you just feel like yourself, then youâll look in the mirror and go, âAaaah!â and it really making me laugh! But heâs right! I feel like my little bouncy happy self and then weâll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think *oh my gosh!*
My beard is almost completely white now and I still think I look more socially appealing than I did when I was younger. I guess its different for men maybe?
Yeah. My toddler son was making funny faces in the mirror. I joined him and nearly spooked myself at the number of wrinkles that appeared when I made my first funny face. I hate the loss of collagen.
I'm kind of ageing sideways at the moment. I'm changing my look, colouring my hair, getting tattoos, generally being more expressive. I'm a different person than 10 years ago and I'm enjoying these changes, which I think is hiding my washing from myself. Since things, like losing my grey beard have helped.
I used to not care that I was losing my hair and I kind of liked the idea of having a receding hairline, but then one day, the thinning in the front started connecting to the bald spot in the back, and for the briefest of moments, I saw Major Winchester from MASH when I looked in the mirror. So then I shaved off all my hair.
During the pandemic my hair went quite white. I ln my office there is a big mirror in the bathroom, and I remember just after the restrictions were lifted, I was washing my hands and jumped because there was this dude starting at me and I didn't notice him. That dude was me, and I didn't recognize myself with white hair. I've never felt so old haha
I'm taking the "I'd love to be 40 again" approach. Â In ten or maybe even five years, I'll wish I was back here. Â I still feel good at 40 even if I don't look picture-perfect. Â I want to enjoy my health now before it's gone, and not waste my time desperate to be 20 again. Â Living in the past robs us of what's good about the present.
It probably helps that my body betrayed me a couple of years ago and cut a really stark line between youth and middle age. Â I was so miserable that my 40th kind of just came and went. Â Now I am here. đ
Donât get me wrong. Iâm no longer in my physical prime, but thereâs this window I have to walk by every day near the light rail station and when I see myself in it I look about 100 lbs heavier than I actually am and it makes me feel like shit.
Don't do that to yourselves!! Look at how pretty Dorothy is & she's saying such awful things about herself. Yes, we're older, but we are smarter & so much chiller than in our 20s. It would be fun to have my 20s body, but I would never want to experience another second of my 20s anxiety. Or the drama & nonsense.Â
Went to a concert a few months back and was looking at the crowd on my way to the bathroom, thinking "do I really belong here with all these grey heads and wrinkly bastards", got to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror and immediately though "oh... yeah I guess I do.".
Having drinks in a bar, went to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror on the way⊠did a hard double-take because I straight up thought I saw my mother. To be fair, we do look very much alike, to the point that people who havenât seen us in a long time will mistake me for her, but that was the only time I fooled MYSELF!
Not exactly the mirror feeling, but you know how the dasher has to take a picture of your food in front of your door? I met them at the door one time and ended up in the picture. I looked like a GREMLIN.
It first happened to me at about 35. I joined the army in my late 20s. Before I joined I had, for many years, a bright red goatee. I'm talking Ron Weasley red. But, when I was on active duty in the army, I had to be clean shaven (technically we were allowed to have a mustache, but they make you trim it to look like a porn star from 1987, so no). When I left active duty in my mid 30s, I decided to let it grow again and see if I could pull off my old look. Maaaaaaaaan, every hair that grows from my chin is BRIGHT FUCKING WHITE. Every fucking one. Now I just rock the 'stache. And I just look like someone's dad, which is fine with me because I that's what I've been for 20 years.
The other time it really kicked my ass was when I went back to college. I was sitting BSing with some other students before class started one day and suddenly realized that the person I was talking to was closer to my kids age than they were to me.
It's rough. I've never liked looking at myself, but it's even worse now.
And this isn't even the best mirror example from Golden Girls. Put a mirror on a table, lean over, and look at yourself. Blanche's reaction to this is hilarious
Fun Fact!
Betty White (Rose), and Bea Arthur (Dorothy), are *slightly* older than Estelle Getty (Sophia) in real life. (Or when they were still alive, RIP you wonderful coots.)
Wear sunscreen kids!
Those two were always so good together on screen.
I've been there, trying to lie to myself in the mirror. Telling myself I can still play the sports I used to. Reality can be no fun sometimes
Not me. I lost 60 pounds last year, got four crowns put in, and started taking care of myself rather than treating my body like a garbage scow the way I always used to. I feel like I grew into my looks. I finally fit into all my old clothing again, and I look better in them at 42 than I ever did at 22.
I work in an industry that skews pretty young, and I get along really well with a lot of younger people there, even if I wouldn't be interested in dating them or anything like that. I don't feel old, and a lot of it comes from having supportive people around me who keep me from talking bad about myself.
No. Itâs been more like the âClair Huxtableâ experience:
https://youtube.com/shorts/YWDvw7lAq9M?si=w--vSouJxjgkf9FV
Thanks to watching like The Golden Girls, The Cosby Show & Dynasty during my childhood, I thought women STAYED beautiful.
I thought Estelle Getty looked âoldâ until I saw pictures and videos of her without the old lady stage makeup.
The Golden Girls are legend. There will never be another show as legendary. Bea Arthur is a legend. Betty White is a legend. Estelle Getty is a legend. Rue McClannahan is a legend. I love them so much and I hope Iâm as awesome as any one of them.
Betty White was funny af. All throughout her career. She could play dumb only because she was so smart. Willing to push boundaries and grow with the times. Her timing and ad libbing abilities we top tier.
I just turned 40 last week. Ive had thinning hair and started going grey in my 20s. It sort of got to a point and stayed. In this week alone I've noticed for the first time I've got a full horseshoe, I've officially surpassed 50% grey coverage, the skin on my hands is kinda rippled, the crows feet are there even when I'm not smiling, and a spot on my face just decided to change color.....I have an old people spot on my face đ«!
Not really. Outside of work i still dress like I did in the 90s with band t-shirts and flannels. Never smoked. Use sunscreen. No kids. Get lots of sleep. So still look young for my ageâŠunfortunately also including still struggling with acne despite working with multiple dermatologists.
Just in the last year. 43, and I cry so hard and smile so hard I pull muscles in my face and the side where I pull them now has a huge expression line that the other side of my face doesn't have. And my eleven lines? More like 44 lines, maybe even 66 lines. I'm like WHO TF IS THAT.
Everytime I have that feeling I remind myself I have bad ass white streaks in my beard like a super hero. Something I always hoped for when I was a little kid. Makes me feel alittle better.
Almost all of my employees are 16-23 years old. After a day of working with them, I have this moment and it sucks.
I can even do you one worse. Sometimes I have to review our security footage and I get to see myself on video with these young folk and it's painfully obvious how much older I am then.
Oh yeah.. no. I'm married and don't need the validation of reddit. Thanks for your interest, though. Would cause my wife discomfort, and that would make me a bad husband.
I had an experience at my favorite Irish pub just the other night. I just bought three Biff cane from Back To The Future. You know, the one with the fist. Yeah, I like to buy silly stuff. One of the regulars was checking it out and a couple of servers were confused as to why we were laughing. Neither of them had seen Back To The Future. It was awkward and entertaining to explain the basic plot to them. "A mad scientist creates a time machine out of a car. The teenager travels to the past and has to ensure that his parents fall in love so that he doesn't disappear. He travels to the future in the second movie to save his own kids, then back to the past because the old bully stole a sports almanac and the time machine."
We didn't even get into Back To The Future 3
I feel like between the age of like 20-41 I aged but was always somewhere on the young person spectrum. Now at 44 I'm definitely doing double takes when I look at family photos I'm in
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