Dad is a hoarder, are there any uk resources I can reach out to?
Posted by inviolablegirl@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 59 comments
My 63 year old father is a hoarder and I’ve recently visited him to find out that he’s been living in filth with black mould too. I’m 22 and I have a difficult relationship with him, not in a position to help financially and for my own sake I have to distance myself from him. All the same I feel that it would be wrong to leave him like this. Is there anyone I can contact in the UK for support? I’ve been told that there are social services for adults but I’m not sure if he’d qualify etc…I also seriously suspect that he has mental health issues and a drinking problem. But like a lot of people over a certain age he refuses to acknowledge that being a possibility. I want to help him even if it’s from a distance.
Any advice would be appreciated 👍
Straight_Crew_9582@reddit
I found a few really solid articles over at perfectcleanltd.co.uk, specifically about hoarding and how to tackle the cleanup process properly.
They go into quite a bit of detail regarding the practical side of things, so it might be worth a look if you're feeling a bit overwhelmed. Hope it helps a bit.
peteyourdoom@reddit
I had this with mine. He had acres of "stuff" - broken devices, paperwork from forever and mould/muck as he couldn't clean the floors or anything. It can be quite overwhelming at first, so go in without any emotional attachment to any belongings. My father didn't want to ask anyone for help - seems to be a thing at that age.
I ended up moving him to sheltered accommodation (check with council and the social housing people). He pays privately from his pension. I then suggested to "help" sort out what he was taking to the new flat - which was a good excuse to take limited stuff to new flat and empty the house into a skip (with the help of a house cleaning service). Rest/furniture got left and house auctioned off as sold as seen. He got £50K towards his rent in the new place. He's been there 4 years now. His flat is starting to get messy but I'm insisting on a cleaner every fortnight to help.
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
I’m glad that you were able to give your father the help he needed!
peteyourdoom@reddit
Thanks. Hope you get sorted. I was so shocked when I saw some of the rooms as to how he was living
Snoo44470@reddit
I’m sorry to hear he’s struggling with this.
You’d need to contact the Adult Social Care Team at his local council. You can find their information if you google ‘adult social care (name of local council)’. They have teams dedicated to hoarding and will get in touch with him for an assessment.
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
Thank you <3
JSam46@reddit
Yes- correct- for UK Eng and Wales (& likely Scotland too) - this is a safeguarding referral that you can raise for your father. Hoarding is considered a safeguarding and a mental health behaviour that puts people at risk, it is very difficult to deal with.
Please gather info including his GP surgery , his tel number and DOB before you make referral. Often there is an online referral form you can make and leave your tel number and contact details as his relative. You can ask for it to be anonymous but generally SWs are careful in these situations not to say source of info as it is important to keep that relationship between you and your dad out of concerns and for you to ally yourself with your father - useful to have you attend any visits being arranged too if he declines support.
They will then screen it and can offer advice, or arrange a visit if high concerns and refusals, there are decluttering services and deep clean services out there that can help
sv21js@reddit
Depending on how serious the hoarding and contamination are, you could apply to Bea Elton aka Clean With Bea for one of her sponsored free cleans. There is a significant waiting list, but she specialises in hoarder homes/extreme cleans and is incredibly compassionate to the mental health of the clients she helps.
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
I like her content very much but I saw in a recent video that she explicitly doesn’t clean for hoarders as it’s a whole other kettle of fish in terms of approaching the clean.
NotAGooseHonest@reddit
Great idea. OP, whore your dad out so someone can get likes lol
pajamakitten@reddit
You ever seen the state of a hoarder home? My dad is a hoarder and I would pimp him out to Satan himself to see it get properly cleaned.
sv21js@reddit
Her costs for these cleans can be upwards of £30,000. The money has to come from somewhere and as the other commenter said, you never see any clients or any identifying details like where in the country the clean took place.
actuallyanangel@reddit
You realise the reason she can afford to do it for free is because she films it and the money generated pays for the cleans? It's not like she ever shows the clients' faces or who they are
beseeingyou18@reddit
People have given you good advice but I just wanted to ask if he may be autistic? Hoarding can be a symptom and I note you say you have a difficult relationship with him. It might be worth asking the council for an assessment as well.
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
It’s funny you should mention that, I actually do believe he is.
JSam46@reddit
Hoarding is also a mental health issue in itself , sometimes might align with OCD but often doesn’t (This is my field)
beseeingyou18@reddit
"can be".
JSam46@reddit
They are separate disorders and can coexist
LargeLetter1@reddit
My local Fire & Rescue Service will come and give advice to horders under their “safe and well” checks.
Unfortunately horders are far more vulnerable to accidental fires.
While many horders are reluctant to change their behaviour and can refuse help from Social Services, there’s something about an authority figure in a uniform that can get through to them.
This is for London, but I’m sure there will be similar for your area. Good luck
https://www.london-fire.gov.uk/safety/carers-and-support-workers/hoarding-disorder/
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it. Accidental fire is indeed a big fear of mine, it’s a small house and he’s getting forgetful in his old age.
JSam46@reddit
This is a really helpful comment and yes this is part of the safeguarding response to serious hoarders with medium to high Clutter scales acores
sal101010@reddit
He definitely qualifies for adult social services, especially as the people who can help him with his living situation are probably other council departments.
Sometimes all they do is refer you to the right services for the situation (in my case of mental health and mild self-neglect, I just needed a home help service), but having their support and understanding was a big relief for me.
Give them a call on the duty line and they will advise you. Big hugs 💜
inviolablegirl@reddit (OP)
Thank you :)
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
Hoarders never change. Also he is an adult & not harming anyone else. Maybe you have a bit of growing up to do yourself before telling your dad how to live his life??
ClausAction@reddit
If the guy is living in filth then he is harming himself. If he has some kind of illness then he may well not have the mental capacity to make the best decisions for himself.
Those kind of living conditions are potentially harmful to his neighbours as well.
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
We live in a society where we are going to make suicide legal & ban anyone from talking people out of it, so if you think the authorities are going to be chapping on doors to make sure your home is tidy for the sake of your mental health then you are delusional.
ClausAction@reddit
You've clearly not had much experience with your local council's social services. They do come out to assess when concerns are raised about this kind of thing. They're obliged to once a valid concern is raised for someone's well being.
Especially for an older person living alone.
There's a huge difference between an untidy house and a hoarders house where the occupant is living in filth.
JSam46@reddit
This isn’t really true at all. Yes sometimes hoarding is a risk to self and others. And it is a mental health disorder, that is coming out in a lot of SARS - Safeguarding Adult Reviews
mylittlemudkip@reddit
I'm trying to. Or rather, I'm trying to dehoard before it becomes a serious issue. It's a generational thing, my dad is the same.
MoonShineWashingLine@reddit
Found the hoarder.
JSam46@reddit
This is an unhelpful response
DeafeninglySilent@reddit
I have to disagree here, as hoarders absolutely can and do harm other people. Especially where the property is connected to another or part of a flat complex, it is a huge huge fire risk, as well as often leading to rodents and bug infestations which can easily affect other residents of local properties.
It is important to have awareness of the differences between "he has a lot of stuff, leave him be", and "this man is a health and safety risk to himself and others".
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
The bar is pretty high for any kind of ‘intervention’ from the council. My wife is a hoarder, we raised 2 kids in a house where you can’t see out the windows for junk. Did the health visitors say anything when they visited the babies?? No, apart from “I’ve seen worse.” If this man (only 62 so hardly elderly) owns his property then there is zero chance any authorities will be interested, despite what folk on this thread are saying.
Fabulous_Function666@reddit
That’s not normal of the health visitor. My mum was a hoarder, so much less bad than your wife and social services got involved
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
Find this story a bit hard to believe tbh as my sister works in mental health and also confirms the “I’ve seen worse” narrative. This is almost fashionable now, there is actually a 24 hour Hoarders channel on Amazon Prime. The bar seems to be ‘is there at least one room which cannot be used for its original purpose’ arguably we meet that as the en-suite is now out of use, but public health authorities are simply not visiting people for hoarding, in the UK anyway.
Fabulous_Function666@reddit
Well they did. They said it wasn’t fair for me to not have space to play and that it was a health hazard. They also pointed out that in the event of a fire we wouldnt be able to get out safely.
Also I called social services out to a neighbour who was elderly and had a hoarding problem and they cleared his house and provided help. He had rats and limited mobility which was made worse by the state of his house
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
Was this in the UK? Recently?? The authorities are over stretched, you only have to watch the news to see how extreme child neglect & even abuse is often ignored by the authorities, even when it is repeatedly brought to their attention. So I doubt they will be visiting a 63 year old home owner any time soon. Albeit the OP hasn’t provided that much detail, other than mould which is a health hazard but might not have anything to do with hoarding..
Fabulous_Function666@reddit
Yeah it was last year
DameKumquat@reddit
If there's mould that could affect babies' health, that's different from only junk. Also if there's decaying food which can attract rats, evidence of rodent infestation, or inability to reach or use the toilet, shower/bath and basin/sink, or if a fridge isn't reachable or usuable.
My in-laws were drowning in junk before they moved, mild hoarding tendencies but mostly it was just saving anything that might come useful, for 50 years, and getting too infirm to get rid of any of it - if you walk with two sticks, carrying anything to the recycling bin outside is very difficult and they couldn't keep up.
A huge effort over four years got them into a new clean house, which never got beyond 'a bit cluttered and untidy' - because at heart, they didn't have the mental problem that hoarders do.
Novel-Early@reddit
Do you speak about the hoarding with your wife and kids? What are their views on it?
Fit_Dig_5527@reddit
My wife’s view is that if I don’t like it I can leave!!
Over-Language2599@reddit
Yes I had nearby neighbours whose home was full of rats.
OkTadpole2920@reddit
Really?
DizzyMine4964@reddit
Maybe the local Age UK could advise?
JSam46@reddit
It is a safeguarding referral for hoarding. Age concern will just refer it on to the local authority, they are a great voluntary dependent national agency but they don’t do safeguarding - see other comments elsewhere
Open-Acanthaceae-532@reddit
Our local Age UK work very closely with LA and compete the environmental check and then arrange the quote/clean if consent gained from the person. I agree it’s a safeguarding concern but in my experience LA is very limited in role if patient has no care needs / has capacity to make unwise decisions.
JSam46@reddit
The first report needs to go to LA to screen it for safeguarding. Then it is moved outwards to other agencies for support.
elgrn1@reddit
Be aware that hoarding is a form of OCD and is likely to be connected to trauma. He will need support from a therapist and will have to carefully proceed with addressing the need to hoard while clearing his home. Throwing things out will trigger a trauma response which can make things worse overall.
JSam46@reddit
Hoarding is a mental health disorder and behaviour classified as separate to OCD
But yes is a proceed with caution but do a safeguarding referral to the local authority
Opposite_Funny9958@reddit
Years ago social services had a Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) that would cover this - not sure what they’re called these days, but the duty social work team at the local office should know. Good luck. 👍
chicken_n_chips@reddit
So I THINK they’ve been renamed to Psychological Therapies (PTS). I could be wrong though. OP could speak to their dad’s GP to be referred to a social prescriber, or go directly to the local hospital linked to therapies to be referred to the social prescriber. There’s Talking Therapies too but I don’t know if that’s part of PTS, it’s all confusing in NHS
JSam46@reddit
No that’s not what social care have been renamed to in most Local Authorities. And this isn’t psychological services required although they may be part of the solution in a MDT (multi disciplinary team) response if Is available and GP refers to
Social care prescribers are a support to GP surgeries but they are not where safeguarding referrals go.
It is very much a social care safeguarding initial referral to the local authority ie the adults social care department within the county council
It is not health that takes safeguarding it is social care - under The Care Act 2014 s42
Other agencies including health are required to work with and report safeguarding a to the LA under s6 The Care Act 2014 but is very much LA lead
JSam46@reddit
This is true- in some Local Authorities (LA/ county council) community mental health services in adult social care tend to be based with the local community mental health team for younger adults (aged 18-65) but not for every LA.
The LA will decide which team as he may fall under MH and alcohol substance abuse team if they have those separated - each LA may have a slightly different setup of teams and the referrals like will determine which is better fit.
Many Local Authorities have a central Referrals line and as this is safeguarding often that front line team will send it initially to their MASH team - multi agency safeguarding Hub (which looks at initial safeguarding referrals). But that’s all the LAs down my part if the U.K.& may be different in other areas.
So an online safeguarding referral you make - by googling “make safeguarding referral for an adult + ( his county council or unitary authority name)” - will go to the relevant team and they will work out which is relevant social care team to send to.
tommycahil1995@reddit
He probably has OCD as well (as someone with OCD myself although managed well).
My mum has it and she hoards; more like pointless shit like filling up freezers with food that'll never get eaten and she won't throw out
Keycuk@reddit
Can you arrange someone to be with her when viewings happen or take her out for a weekend and do an open house?
MoonShineWashingLine@reddit
Hoarding and black mould are major health risks so you're doing the right thing trying to get him help. Adult social care are the people you need to get in touch with. There was a case local to me where a woman died due to the stuff in her house falling on top of her so it can have dire consequences unfortunately.
PetersMapProject@reddit
https://holistic-hoarding.co.uk/
https://hoardinguk.org/
HelloReddit54321@reddit
Sounds horrible but he might be too far down the road to retrieve him. Usually for them to change they need to acknowledge and be willing but it sounds like he isn't in that position. If you believe you can change him then crack on otherwise save yourself the time and effort.
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