Where were you threatened to be sent as a child?
Posted by ConnorHMFCS04@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 159 comments
Question probably sounds more sinister than intended, but when you were younger and misbehaving, were you threatened with being sent to a place for unruly children?
I grew up in East Scotland, and it was always the 'jaggy jumper home' when I was growing up. My partner is from West Scotland, and she was always threatened with 'Maggie Murphy's Castle'.
Took me long enough to realise that this is probably one of those great things in English where there are lots of regional variations.
Important-Manner6602@reddit
Maggie Murphys And he made to have a cold bath and that she would scrub me with a hard bristle brush, then afterwards made to wear a jaggy jumper... I believed every word 😭🤦🏼♀️🤣
T_raltixx@reddit
My mum was threatened with being sent to the dogs home. She cried because they didn't.
JmeMc@reddit
I wasn’t threaten with this but the lad next door’s mum was always banging on about sending him to Biafra, the daft sod.
OneCrispyCritter95@reddit
I was just told to go play on the motorway
floralflourish@reddit
Boarding school or “in care”
dinahbelle1@reddit
Just out of the house with no idea how I would do it but considered living in the car ... what kind of parent does this ! ?
Due_Emu_1929@reddit
It wasn't until I was about 9 or 10 that I learned "the naughty boys home" didn't really exist.
mountainousbarbarian@reddit
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borstal
Oh yes it did!
marzipaneyeballs@reddit
That's not true. I went to borstal. Three weeks I hung around that greenhouse and nothing.
Crookfur@reddit
Oh we knew existed. My parents took great delight in pointing out the boys residential school on the way to East Kilbride...
Then the stories about what went on in the residential schools started to come out...
WalkerTalkerChalker@reddit
The bin
irv81@reddit
I was always told the man from the council would come and take me away to the naughty boys home.
Now here I am at 44 and I fucking hate the council!
SomeWomanFromEngland@reddit
I was never threatened to be sent anywhere, possibly because my mother knew I’d be happy at the idea of leaving.
MPD1987@reddit
My dad’s office. He was a dentist and the upstairs had nothing in it- just an empty room with nothing to do, and we had to be quiet due to the patients downstairs. My mom would leave us there for hours if we misbehaved. Torture
Pedantichrist@reddit
Borstal.
TessyKay@reddit
Yep Borstal here too, which was made worse by my grandparents on dad’s side actually living near Borstal!
Ickham-museum@reddit
I was actually born in the village of Borstal, and my grandparents lived on a neighbouring farm by the prison . I remember my granddad and others going out with shotgun and dogs after an escape in the 60s They never used it as a threat though - to me, Borstal meant church and the Co-op.
Tom_Tower@reddit
Yup, and I remember my mum pretending to phone them up to collect me.
critterwol@reddit
My Dad used to do this too XD
bopeepsheep@reddit
We lived quite near Boarstall so couldn't understand this threat for quite a long time. It's a fairly nice place, not much there though.
Fast-Drummer5757@reddit
Yeah got told this one too, never saw scum until I was older and it made me realise borstal wasn't some fictional place like Neverland. 😂
ooh_bit_of_bush@reddit
If it was Michael Jackson's Neverland, I think I'd risk Borstal with a snooker ball in a sock.
Pedantichrist@reddit
Of course I am old enough that it was actually a legitimate threat.
_Onion_Terror@reddit
Grew up in Ireland
I was threatened with being aw t away to the nuns
oscarx-ray@reddit
Jesus, that's a scary one!
Goldf_sh4@reddit
To the henhouse with the chickens.
PhilosophyGhoti@reddit
My parents didn't threaten me at all???
Heavy-Locksmith-3767@reddit
Boarding school. Although one time I said i wished I wasn't born, dad told me there was an unbirthing machine and they could take me there.
fth-996@reddit
NO WAY! I truly thought the ‘jaggy jumper school’ was like a singular family threat… can’t believe it’s wider! I’m from south west Scotland 😱
WanderWomble@reddit
My mam once dressed me in my new duffle coat and made me sit on the doorstep waiting for the naughty girls' home to collect me.
I think I was about four and I wasn't a naughty kid.
It's no wonder I have anxiety now as an adult.
dolphineclipse@reddit
Back to the baby shop
bob_the_rod@reddit
Dad used to threaten to send us to a "home". Strong emphasis on home and very aggressive delivery.
Mum always said she'd take us to the police station if we were naughty. I'm guessing this is where i got my lifetime fear/suspicion of the police from.
I recall getting lost with my sister on a family holiday once, i was about 5 and she around 3. We walked around for ages trying to find our way back to where we were staying and actually walked past a policeman. I was too afraid to speak to him and we ended up asking some random lady for help.
Parents - please don’t make your children scared of something which should be there to help.
Even_Passenger_3685@reddit
My mum actually did take my brother to the police when he ate the Christmas chocolates
trippykitsy@reddit
lmao? how did that go
Scotto6UK@reddit
30 to life unfortunately
Vampire1111111@reddit
I stole a pick n mix sweet from woolworths when i was 4 or 5, my mum was furious at me 'breaking the law' and gave me 50p and told me to go and confess to the girl at the til and pay for what i stole 😂
I would love to say that was an effective lesson, but as a teenager i went through a shoplifting stage, so it didnt really deter me.
anabsentfriend@reddit
I used to be a csi and wore a uniform with police all over it. I would often go to people's houses where a parent was wrangling a child.
There were so many times when parent would tell child that I would take them away if they carried on misbehaving expecting me to go along with it.
But I would just say that that I wouldn't do that because police don't take children away just because they're naughty. The parents gave me daggers, every time.
If I could I'd go out of my way to include the child in what I was doing and give them some pens and stuff, it seemed to work much better that threatening them.
phatboi23@reddit
yup, i'm a large fella with a decent sized beard.
i've heard parents (usually mums) saying to their kids "that scary man will take you away!"
i usually pipe up with "no i won't" and pull a silly face at the kid. :)
grmacp@reddit
The Big Hoose wi the Wee windaes
DeathGuard1978@reddit
My dad always used to say that I'd be off to boarding school if he won the pools.
50_61S-----165_97E@reddit
The mines in Cornwall
mudual@reddit
When I was younger, if you were naughty, you were told you were going to “The Bad Fire”.
joe865@reddit
The backwards school for boys. My parents would even have fake phone calls with the headteacher if they were particularly peeved with me. They still make jokes about it but it honestly scared the shit out of me.
Karl-Pilkinghorn@reddit
Rosie’s Home where they feed you bread and water and they pin your ears back, or if I’d been a total prick, the ‘bad fire’ 🤣
Aksium__84@reddit
Well I was sent to Russia( A smal villiage near the border to Georgia) to live with familiy from I was 5 to I was 18, but that was far, far better for me than having to live with the two ogers that was my parents, never saw them again. And that was for the best me thinks. There I had people who cared for me, showed how a functional and caring familiy worked. and I learned so many things, that all these years after I am eternal grateful for.
carsndogs420@reddit
I was told I was adopted and going to be sent back to antartica
Beowulf_359@reddit
Sunderland here and me and my sister were always threatened with "The Cottage Homes" which my mam recently admitted that she didn't know what they were either.
Beowulf_359@reddit
Google supplies this:
Cottage homes were a 19th and early 20th-century residential care model in the UK, designed as a more humane, family-style alternative to large workhouses for orphaned, abandoned, or destitute children. Originating around the 1870s, these "villages" featured small houses (cottages) holding 15-30 children under the care of a "mother" or married couple, often with on-site schools and training workshops.
So all in all, had she known what they actually were, a pretty good threat.
callmeeeow@reddit
The Catalogue
ConsistentCrazy5745@reddit
I always got threatened with the shed or be told i was getting put in the naughty girls home.
Mr_Bumcrest@reddit
Spend some time with Prince Andrew
JustBee37@reddit
‘The Journey’ no further explanation given, just told I’ll go the journey if I keep being naughty.
iffyClyro@reddit
Maggie Murphy’s but it was a home for bad children not a castle. Mum even dressed up as her once and knocked on the door looking for me, my big sister said I wasn’t in, slammed the door and hid me.
phatboi23@reddit
your sister knew the rules... "got a warrant? no? fuck off!"
Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit
That’s a good sister there, mine would have handed me straight over.
Auntie_Cagul@reddit
Borstal.
I had no idea what that meant.
LilacScentedStoat@reddit
My Uncles..
My uncle, when I was a kid, was big and loud and tattooed.. like a mid 80s dart player.. of he shouted, us kids would cry..
(When I grew up, I realised he was just an average blokey type bloke that worked as a welder and was partially deaf, that's why he was so loud.. 😂 )
phatboi23@reddit
yup, you don't realise how LOUD welding actually is until you've done it for even half a day, there's a reason earplugs/defenders are used!
also you'll end up using the grinder a fair bit and that shit is REAL loud.
ozzieowl@reddit
I had a few of my dads friends who were exactly like this. That painted such a memory for me!
Flonkerton_Scranton@reddit
Anyone else ever get warned by grandparents that the 9 o clock horses would come and drag you away if you weren't bed before 9PM?
Added bonus, when we pushed the limit, one of them would hide and smash coconuts together and make horsey noises to emulate the sounds of them coming to get us, and we would shit ourselves and pretend to be asleep immediately.
certifiednez@reddit
My uncle was scaring me with a canal keeper who took awake kids. One splash outside was enough for me to believe him.
TheKnightsTippler@reddit
I vaguely remember this phrase.
showmethepotatobread@reddit
My nanny threatened us with Wee Jimmy. Wee Jimmy lived in the hedge, the birds were his spies so he always knew what was happening. He would come and get bad boys and girls who didn’t eat their dinner/ didn’t listen to their nanny/ didn’t play nice with others…. Etc etc
hamstertoybox@reddit
That’s amazing.
Comfortable-Bug1737@reddit
The naughty girls school or Dicky Dark would get me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
aspieringnerd@reddit
The local children's home where the naughty kids lived
yaffaDina2@reddit
I was threatened that I'd be sent to a home where I'd be pinned up by my ears. I worked out that it'd be giant safety pins.
VividSignificance545@reddit
Growing up in the naval town of Plymouth it was usual to be threatened with the 'dockyard orphanage'. My aunt even kept papers in an envelope on her mantle piece and told my cousins they were forms for the dockyard orphanage. No idea if such a place ever actually existed 😆
louiselovatic@reddit
Barnardo’s
jilljd38@reddit
We got told that the marmalade bus would come and take us away , was only the ring and ride bus sadly me and my cousins were in our teens before we realised this
jamescoxall@reddit
Egremont. It's a small town not far from Sellafield nuclear power station. A stand up comedian called Mike Harding did a routine on how terrible it was.
A few years later, when they first let me have an input on where we went on holiday, I demanded to go to Egremont. Not as bad as they made out after all.
mEmotep@reddit
An orphanage. I was obsessed with Annie though and thought it would be all singing and dancing so it sounded quite exciting
snakeoildriller@reddit
China: if I didn't eat my dinner. Apparently "there were starving children there who'd love my vegetables!" There were!
swapacoinforafish@reddit
That I'd be sold at the boot sale for 50p
Iamtir3dtoday@reddit
My mum’s was ‘to gran’s house’ because she lived in Wales and we lived in Scotland so she’d threaten that and in the same breath say that I’d lose all my friends.
My gran was, and is, my best friend, and I had no friends at school because I was bullied, so I would just be delighted. And I actually ended up living at my gran’s for a few years of my teenhood anyway.
One of mum’s friends did the whole Maggie act, it was a children’s home apparently and she had a van she’d capture children with. Her friend pointed it out on the motorway once. My mum did not like this at all though and very sternly told her friend to cut it out.
Lea32R@reddit
The children's home
PNWest01@reddit
Juvenile Detention
mandraketehmagician@reddit
It was quite common to be told to ‘go play on the motorway’ (80’s).
My Mum would also make me a packed lunch when I ‘ran away’; id eat my sandwich on the golf course and be home for tea. How times change!
cmrndzpm@reddit
The Dumping Ground from Tracy Beaker if I ‘wanted to act naughty like her’
_FreddieLovesDelilah@reddit
Foster home. The police even threatened to arrest my parent. I actually really wanted to be taken away :(
ginga_chris@reddit
Mrs Brown's house - where you were fed cat food for tea and had bricks for pillows.
Strangely though my lovely aunty's surname is Brown but never made the connection lol
jlelvidge@reddit
We got a VAX when they first came out in the early 80’s and it came in a tall thin box. We used to always joke with our kids that if they were naughty, they were going in the Vax box. My husband would jokingly carry them to the cupboard where it was kept with much giggling and squirming from the kids. We even said once we were going on holiday and both of them were staying in the vax box with some food and water. They both still bring it up at family times, just our little joke that most households have.
Royal_View9815@reddit
The cottage homes….whatever the fuck they were!!
Lavidius@reddit
Whenever we were out in public if I misbehaved it was always "the man"
"Don't do that or the man will get you"
"Put that down or the man will come and take you away"
Etc
Eckzilla@reddit
Aye,jaggy jumper home for me as well,must be an East of Scotland thing,lol.
But sometimes my mum would say "you'll get sent to Coventry!" Is Coventry that bad?
AlexMC69@reddit
The local orphanage was used as a threat from time to time.
Party-Werewolf-4888@reddit
I was getting sent to "boarding school" which was an absolute joke because they couldnt have even afforded to take me near a boarding school. I was also so desperate to get away from my parents that it seems like quite a good idea.
CrazyMike419@reddit
It was always the "childrens home." Mum would make us pack our bags and go wait in the car. They would the. Drive us pretty far away and occasionally pul into the carpark of the "home," which was just a random building. They would then have a change of heart once they thought we were suitably fearful.
Id like to add that non of these times id ever done anything wrong. My and bro were the youngest of 4. Our parents liked to practice "group punishment," and our 2 older siblings were too old to believe this trick and so I'd be taken to the childrens home every time my bro stole things, usually food.
Started when i was 4 and continued until i was 7 or 8. They'd take us multiple times a year. The last time, me and bro put extra effort into packing our bags. When we arrived, we both got out of the car(mum was particularly shocked,) we had discussed it, and decided it wouldn't be too bad if we were in the same home.
Parents were in a flap, convincing us back into the car. Mostly because they were parked in front of a large business, and it wasn't a good look, lol.
Mum immediately switched to "were taking you to the police" and would drive us to the police station. I was pretty smart at that age and knew the police didnt do group punishments. Second or 3rd time they did it, i walked into the station to "turn myself in" lol. I was swiftly followed by a red faced hyper embarrased mum who dragged me back to the car. She beat the crap out of me later but didnt take me there again lol.
Memories :,)
ImaginaryParrot@reddit
Was your mum mentally ok?
CrazyMike419@reddit
She seened to enjoy that stuff, so probably a screw loose in there.
Now, as a pensioner, she has zero recollection of it all and likes to tell yales of her self-sacrifice and how "the kids never went hungry" etc etc.
lovesorangesoda636@reddit
The "orphanage" on the way into Dundee. I think its actually a block of flats but every time we drove past it I would get the "that's where I'll send you if you're bad". Its also the same place my Gran threatened my mum with which is ... nice?
ash894@reddit
Not threatened as to a location, but the man in the green van was apparently going to come and take me away
floatinginmyroom@reddit
I was told that the "cheeky doctor" would come and do an operation on me to surgically remove the "cheeky"
thechops10@reddit
Boarding school in Baghdad.
ImaginaryParrot@reddit
Did you feel like Harry Potter?
living2late@reddit
The dry bread man. He looked after the really bad kids.
Jerico_Hill@reddit
I was continually threatened with being sent to the children's home (yes I know, wtf).
I think I was about 8 when I cottoned on that it was bullshit. I told my Dad that if he really meant it, he'd have done it by now. That was the last time he ever made that threat.
liseusester@reddit
My mother used to say she'd sell me to the gypsies and then if I was still getting on her nerves that she'd give me to the gypsies because no one would pay for me.
My father went with the more straightforward 'I'll make you go and live with your grandparents' which was a far more effective threat because he meant my maternal grandparents and they were horrible.
squimbynurox@reddit
My mum used to threaten to send me to a boarding school, specifically Queen Ethelburgas!
DogtasticLife@reddit
Roedean, girls school near Brighton. It became an empty threat as soon as I realised my parent didn’t remotely have the money to send me to a private school
Phenomenomix@reddit
Yeah I used to get the threat of boarding school, looking back I should have called their bluff
Commercial_Level_615@reddit
The local children's home
condosovarios@reddit
Indian Army Boarding School.
lcb1972@reddit
Never got threatened with being sent anywhere - misbehave and my mother went immediately to corporal punishment - I was 13 and almost 6’ the last time she put me over her knee and actually spanked my arse - all because I was late home from girl guides. When she’d finished I stood up and told her that was the last time she was ever going to lay hands on me or hit me with anything because is she tried to again I WOULD hit her back and twice as hard
tannercolin@reddit
'I'll send you to live with your dad!'
I wish I had, the dude offered so many times
TheBlueprint666@reddit
Craiginches prison. No notes, no messing about.
Emergency-Aardvark-6@reddit
Nope but my brother and I loved winding my mum up with threatening to call childline. We'd peg it out afterwards though! She never caught us, so we always got away with it.
schaweniiia@reddit
They threatened to put me up for adoption. A few times, they did fake calls to child services lol
LadyBAudacious@reddit
We were threatened with the child-catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
I watched that damn film again in my 20s and had the usual nightmare about him.
It's been 40 years' since then and I'm daring myself to see if I'm over it yet.
Old-Awareness4657@reddit
To be sold to the Triads
DarthRick3rd@reddit
ampleforth school
mountainousbarbarian@reddit
Gorbachev's men would come and kidnap me away to Leningrad, where I'd work in a sweatshop making fake jeans 16 hours a day. This was backed up by photographic evidence so it genuinely scared me. Not sure where my dad got photos of kids working in Soviet clothes factories but it certainly had an effect!
SmokyBarnable01@reddit
I'm Irish, so the boys were threatened with the Industrial school and the girls with the Laundry.
Everybody knew.
glittermaniac@reddit
Returned to the Bad Baby Shop!
porky_scratching@reddit
Borstal
vemiam@reddit
I was told I'd be left in the garden for the scrap man to take away
EllebumbleB@reddit
I may or may not have threatened my son with 'donkey island' after he watched Pinnochio.
a_human_tripod@reddit
To live with my mum
Ricky_Martins_Vagina@reddit
"....to go and live with your dad"
Who lived in a very exotic country and had a way more exciting lifestyle than we did in the UK.
Gee, mum, and good reasons for me not to misbehave? 😂
hankmolotovjnr@reddit
Boarding school. I was not quite sharp enough to think: you couldn’t possibly afford that.
weneedmorepylons@reddit
Back to Argentina, and I’d have to change my name, the horror!
LadyMirkwood@reddit
It was only the once and it was 'the bad girls school'
I was about five and apparently I called my mum's bluff, packed my best toys in a bag and got my little parasol and sat on the brick wall in the front garden ready to go. I said I'd walk there myself.
Mum said after that she realised I was a stubborn little madam and changed tack!
nobelprize4shopping@reddit
Nowhere. We just got threatened that our father would get involved.
bakedNdelicious@reddit
Borstal lol. Or Battersea dogs home sometimes
candigirl16@reddit
The naughty girls home. One day I told them to do it and packed a bag.
BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit
Coventry, more often than not… and when we eventually did pass through Coventry in the car on one occasion I said “well then, are you leaving me here or what?” 😂
finallygaveintor@reddit
Funny farm
trippykitsy@reddit
my mum would threaten to send us to a care home, a shallow threat since i realised from a young age that wed probably be better off in a care home
bopeepsheep@reddit
Grandma's. We behaved. (My grandmother was ... complicated, and didn't speak English very well.)
MadWifeUK@reddit
The middle of next week, as in "I'll knock you into the middle of next week!"
R-Mutt1@reddit
Borstal
critterwol@reddit
Me too, the borstal was over the back wall of the garden so it was a very close and real threat!
bababababoos@reddit
Swiss Finishing School
urban_shoe_myth@reddit
Not me, but I did once threaten my daughter with 'the bad school for bad boys and girls' when she was small. It was the best I could come up with spur of the moment, I rang my mum and pretended to speak to 'the bad school'. Mum thought it was hilarious and I had to turn the volume right down so daughter didn't hear her laughing.
I can't remember specifically what she'd done but I think it was one of those days when she'd just been continually that way out all day, then refused to go to bed, and I was at the end of my tolerance. As she got older it's been a bit of a running joke, anyone that does something out of line will have to go to 'the bad school'
spunkymynci@reddit
It was either being sent to Germany or, if I was only being a minor pain the arse, behave or the Germans will get you.
She was born in 1939 and her mam in turn was born in 1908 so no prizes for guessing where that particular prejudice came from...
RotaryDesign@reddit
To the attic where gremlins live
CiderDrinker2@reddit
My parents were liberal hippies who didn't do that sort of thing, but my aunt would occasionally threaten us with 'Mr Oremus'. Mr Oremus lived in the cupboard under the stairs, and he would come out to catch naughty children and do unspeakable things to them.
Looking back, I wonder if 'Watch out children, and be good, or Mr Oremus will get you!' is a deep folk-memory of Protestant fear of Jesuits. 'Oremus' means 'let us pray' in Latin, and his under-stair hiding place is reminiscent of 'priest holes' where Catholic priests would hide in the 16th and 17th centuries.
Does anyone else remember 'Mr Oremus'? I would be fascinated to know.
Fine_Cress_649@reddit
Zoo
ooh_bit_of_bush@reddit
Lol, my Nana said she'd take me back to the zoo of I didn't behave. Took me ages to realise she was implying that I was a shaved chimp rather than her rewarding my petulance with a nice day out.
RetroRegretso@reddit
We were threatened to be sent to Bacup, followed by a racial stereotype. My parents were not the best.
CaptMelonfish@reddit
To sleep in the shed with the spiders.
I really like spiders.
Significant_Return_2@reddit
I wasn’t threatened with being sent anywhere, but I was threatened with “ID”.
ID stood for Instant Death.
Altruistic_Grocery81@reddit
“The man will come” to take us away to “the naughty boys home”. Neither of them existed. The threat was shortened to “the man will come” after a while.
thebabadookisgay@reddit
This was more of a joke than an actual threat we believed (my siblings and I were pretty chill and rarely got in trouble), but my parents used to say they’d put us in ‘the chokey’ (like from Matilda)
ozzieowl@reddit
The woods behind our house which I wasn’t scared of in the slightest but I pretended to be so they might actually do it. Being in them after dark particularly would’ve been awesome.
CongealedBeanKingdom@reddit
Borstal.
I don't even think they were joking.
syphonuk@reddit
Dagestan 2-3 years.
yalliepants@reddit
A casket. I didn't know what it was at the time so I thought there was a place called "Akasket" where they sent naughty girls. I can laugh about it now but man, my vision of Akasket was wild.
Centi9000@reddit
Prison. My parents didn't fuck about it seems.
myboyfriendsback777@reddit
The crazy house in Ypsilanti
BG3restart@reddit
We weren't threatened ever, but when my nan was overwhelmed and driven to distraction, she'd often say 'You'll have me in Hatton' which was a local mental hospital.
buy_me_a_pint@reddit
naughty home
Coventry
Back to school
SuperPossible120@reddit
My family is Kenyan - Mathare hospital
Look it up.
Routine_Ad1823@reddit
My dad always used to say, "Eat your food, there are kids starving in [our neighbouring village, which was pretty wealthy]"
alrightstrykah@reddit
The local children’s home, specifically into the care of an old woman who lived in a puddle behind the home (?)
Yeoman1877@reddit
Either a children's home, as above, or to the market, to be sold.
Icy-Astronomer-8202@reddit
My room, the shed at the bottom of the garden
_easypeeler_@reddit
Up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire?
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