UK expat struggling in Spain — mental health declining, career stuck, looking for realistic advice
Posted by Wrong-Mud7793@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 122 comments
I’m 31 and feeling increasingly trapped, and I’m hoping for advice from UK expats or anyone who’s navigated similar career and mental health struggles abroad.
I currently live in Spain, and I’m finding it incredibly hard to build any kind of stability here. The local economy where I am depends almost entirely on tourism, which means work is seasonal, insecure, and often disappears for months at a time. I’ve been actively trying to find work and earn money, but without savings or consistent opportunities, I feel stuck in survival mode.
My living situation is toxic, and it’s had a serious impact on my mental health. I’m extremely depressed and increasingly worried about my future. On top of that, I’ve experienced a lot of hostility as a foreigner here—people are cold, sometimes openly racist, and generally unwelcoming. Even small things, like neighbours deliberately letting their dogs urinate on my car, have added to a constant sense of being unwanted and powerless.
I previously lived in London. It was very difficult financially—high rent, intense competition for jobs, and barely getting by—but there were opportunities. My brother still lives there and is just about surviving with a roommate. I didn’t leave the UK by choice. I was forced to leave after my father heavily mortgaged our family home, and we had to sell it to pay off his debts. That decision removed the little stability I had and pushed me into a situation I wasn’t prepared for.
London was tough, especially with how competitive the job market had become, but at least there was a sense that effort might lead somewhere. Here, I feel completely blocked. I can’t move because I don’t have savings. I can’t save because I can’t find stable work. And staying in an environment that feels hostile is making my mental health worse over time.
What scares me most is the feeling that my 30s are slipping away while I’m stuck in a place that makes me miserable, waiting for tourist season just to scrape by again. I haven’t been able to enjoy my life or build anything sustainable, and the future feels increasingly bleak.
I’m not posting for sympathy. I’m genuinely looking for advice—especially from UK expats or people who’ve had to rebuild with limited money and declining mental health.
- Is returning to the UK realistic without savings?
- Are there remote or UK-based options I might be overlooking?
- How do you make a move when you’re exhausted, broke, and mentally worn down?
Any practical advice, perspective, or experience would really be appreciated. Thanks for reading.
kholekardashian12@reddit
Brit here who has lived in Spain here. I completely sympathise and I'm sorry you're going through this. Spain was really hard for me at times.
Not sure what you're currently doing at the moment but teaching on Preply saved my arse when I was in a tough spot. This was a few years ago now. I was an ESOL teacher with a CELTA but they now have courses on the sight that can help if you're a total beginner. I started with my price set really low to attract students, like $5 an hour. Then as I got more reviews, I steadily increased my rate. By the time I stopped teaching, I was charging $27 and hour. Plus the more hours you teach, the less commission they take. I managed to do this over the course of 6 months.
Again, this was around 2020 so a few years ago now. Otherwise, you might find luck trying to bag a teaching job where you are with a degree. Not sure how you'd far without a TEFL course but you never know.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you
Inevitable_Rock_3236@reddit
Did you end up moving back to the UK? How was the transition returning?
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for the advice. 🙏🏽 many blessings to you.
Inevitable_Rock_3236@reddit
Did you manage to find a solution to this OP? In the same boat and really struggling
PutTerrible7429@reddit
Do you have an skills that might allow you to work on line as a subcontractor, say with Upworks?
therapyinenglish@reddit
I'm going to be honest with you because I think that's more useful than tips right now: what you're describing isn't really a career problem or an expat problem. You got uprooted against your will because of your father's financial decisions, you landed somewhere without choosing it, and now you're stuck in survival mode in a place that's actively hostile to you. That's not "struggling to adjust abroad" - that's a person whose nervous system has been in fight-or-flight for years and is running out of gas. And when you're in that state, every decision feels impossible because your brain literally cannot do long-term planning when it's consumed with just getting through the day.
Also, there's a huge difference between "I can't move because I don't have savings" and "I can't move because I'm too depleted to figure out how." The money thing is real, I'm not dismissing it. But people move countries broke all the time. Your brother is in London. That's a couch, that's a starting point. The UK has systems like Universal Credit, job centres, NHS mental health services, that exist specifically for situations like this. It won't be comfortable but it's a floor, which is more than what you have in a Spanish tourist town where you're scraping by seasonally and getting treated like shit. The thing that's actually keeping you stuck probably isn't the logistics. It's that you're so ground down that the effort of making a move feels as impossible as the finances of making one, and those two things have blurred together into one wall.
And the piece about your father — you kind of dropped that in and moved on. It's not like you left London because London failed you. You left because your dad's decisions blew up your stability, and you've been scrambling ever since without ever actually processing what that did to you. That kind of thing doesn't just create a logistical problem, it creates a deep sense that the ground can be pulled out from under you at any time, which makes it incredibly hard to invest in anything or believe that building something is even worth it. That "my 30s are slipping away" feeling; part of that is real circumstance, but part of it is the hopelessness talking, and hopelessness is going to give you a distorted assessment of your situation.
You're not out of options. You're out of energy. Those are very different problems with very different solutions.
Let me know if you'd like to chat more: therapy-in-english.com
If you don't want to continue after the first session, you won't be charged.
Hang in there.
pchirico@reddit
Not really sure in what city of Spain do you live, but, not every city is the same, I've lived 4 years in Barcelona and it is way more unwellcoming for expats than other cities.
But the root of the problem is the reason why you immigrated (you explicitly said: " I didn’t leave the UK by choice. I was forced to leave"), that is by far the worse way of immigrating, and the source of your unhappiness perhaps.
The existential crisis in your 30's seems to be fully associated with your financial situation, so, Spain won't help much with that, it is not a good place to make money, really hard to be an employee, low wages, high taxes, pretty hostile to freelancers and etc. So, perhaps you should consider a more business friendly place, like US (I know it is hard to move there and I know perhaps this is even the hardest time ever to do so), but there are certainly options for other countries as well which are more business oriented or where you can at least climb the ladder and get a more comfortable economic situation.
I know my reply is a bit vague, but I'm just trying to tell you, if you are unhappy, make the leap as fast as you can, change things, chance city, country, job, whatever you can to avoid getting stuck in that situation.
Best of luck
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Hello sir,
I’m currently living in the south of Spain, in Málaga. It’s undeniably beautiful, and there’s a strong sense of work–life balance here—people genuinely seem happy but generally unwelcoming to expats. I gave it my best shot, but truthfully, despite the beauty of my surroundings, I’m not happy. For six years I told myself I was fine, but I can’t deny how I feel any longer. Pretending everything was okay for so long has taken a toll on both my physical and mental health.
I’ve spoken to several people who lived in Barcelona—some locals, some expats. Interestingly, many of the natives disliked it and eventually moved to places like Los Angeles, though of course that kind of move requires significant financial means. I’ve considered relocating there myself, but as a British citizen I’m limited to a three-month tourist visa, which doesn’t allow me to work. While it’s an option I’ve thought about seriously, I don’t see how I could realistically survive without the ability to earn an income.
You’re absolutely right—it was a choice that was made for me. We all want freedom of choice, and when that’s suddenly taken away, it can feel as though fate has cheated you. Málaga is a beautiful place to live, but I didn’t anticipate how difficult life would become for me here. I now understand why so many Spanish people choose to move to the UK. Over time, I’ve lost my sense of identity.
Thank you sincerely for your helpful advice. I know that making a change quickly is important, and I’m doing everything I can—but without money behind me, my options are limited. I’m applying for jobs every day, mainly in tourism, as that’s currently my safest and most realistic option.
I wish you the very best in your future endeavors.
whateveryousay5@reddit
It’s interesting you’d consider relocating to Los Angeles but not to somewhere other than London in the UK? If you’d consider relocating to another country that suggests you’re still open to being in different places, so I wonder why that isn’t possible in the UK? Something for you to ponder perhaps. Are there not other towns or cities that appeal to you? You could look for cheaper places that have good connections to London.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
London is home. I have contacts in LA. There’s more opportunities for my line of work.
VehicleWonderful6586@reddit
I sympathise. I lived in France after college and it nearly killed me. If you want to try giving Spain another chance try somewhere like the Costa blanca, I have friends living in Altea and it’s not as crazy as Malaga. If you want to come home try outer London.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I’m not looking for sympathy but It’s nice to read your kind comment. Some people (not all, most are helpful as this is my first Reddit post) but some, are being nasty in comments. I blocked them.
My soul doesn’t want to stay here anymore, just exploring my options now through friends but most have ignored me. Wanna know who your friends are? Go broke and homeless.
My hands are pretty tied though and that’s why a couple years away that was meant to be a refuge turned into 6. Life truly ran away from me.
God bless you.
I wish you all the best wherever you are in the world.
adjm1991@reddit
As a Brit you're also only entitled to be in Spain for 3 months unless you have EU citizen, a job or a financial means of supporting yourself. Pretty confused as to how as a British citizen you've ended up in Spain without work or finances.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I have residency permit. You don’t think I know the rules? You seem confused.
mischieve_128@reddit
The confusing part in Spain is not the process, but the order. First you need a SIM card, then book your NIE appointment, then get proof of address for empadronamiento. Many people do this in the wrong order and get delayed.
mischieve_128@reddit
I struggled with this too when I arrived, so I wrote a simple step-by-step guide for newcomers. Happy to share it if you want.
JunkIsMansBestFriend@reddit
Look into teaching English in China. You've got the good passport, and if you're white, it's easy to find work.
It will be basically having a western level salary in a county that has everything for a low price.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
“If you’re white, it’s easy to find work” 👍🏼
Captlard@reddit
Not sure now, but we moved to the Uk when we were practically bankrupt in Spain and owed £50k.. Part of that was £5k frommy brother in law to get us back.
It was enough to cover rent and pay the bills for 3 months whilst I went self employed. Wife cared for our young child.
How do you move when broke and exhausted?….realise that perhaps sooner would have been better, but when you have to go, you have to go!
r/findapath - Good for figuring out direction (also r/careerchange but quieter)
r/careerguidance & r/careeradvice and r/careers - All what the sub name suggests
r/ukjobs - General hotchpotch, a bit like AskUK but for work
r/WorkOnline r/remotejobhunters r/remotejobs - Online job opportunities and discussions of finding remote roles
Lots of industry-focused subs: r/cscareerquestions etc.)
r/AskHR - Hood for getting an HR view on the employment process (also perhaps r/humanresourcesuk)
r/lifecoaching and r/lifecoach often have people offering free (pro-bono) coaching.
r/fireukcareers - UK Fire (financial independenceretire early) community for discussing first roles, new roles and so on (see sidebar for UK resources and scroll the posts)
Historical_Spell_772@reddit
This is so helpful - thanks for taking the time.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your suggestions. I truly appreciate it. How did you manage to find accommodation? When I tried to move back in 2023 the real estate agents told me I needed 20k savings.
mrggy@reddit
The 20k number was likely because a lot of landlords were asking for a year's rent up front. From May of the this year the laws are changing in England and Wales and landlords won't be allowed to ask for more than 1 month's rent up front
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank god for British law.
petrastales@reddit
Not going to help you if they impose an annual salary requirement and proof of your employment contract to make up for it
Low-Resident9269@reddit
Move to a house share - plenty ads online
Captlard@reddit
At the time, my elderly parents were passing through the area we wanted to stay in, so we narrowed down 3 properties from an online search, and asked for them to visit on their way through. They said only one was suitable. This was 2010, so clearly budgets will be different. I think it also depends on where you are moving too perhaps. Could r/vanlifeuk be an initial option?
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
No, van life is not an option. Times are very different now compared to 2010. I need to go back to London.
Captlard@reddit
I need to go back to London. >> That makes it a tougher proposition!
Good luck!
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Well, most of my friends are still there and better career options. Isolation is not good for mental health. Thank you. Good luck to you too 🙏🏽
poulan9@reddit
Spain is an amazing country to live in provided that you bring money with you. Making money there is incredibly tough and even when you have a job, the environment can be quite toxic. My advice is to make money on the UK. In your 30s you'll need to be putting money away to save a deposit for your mortgage and into your company pension which will secure you a nice secure future. I realise that sounds boring but your 30s are a time when you have to graft to build your life so that you can take your foot off the pedal later in your career.
LingonberryFun5273@reddit
Iwould look in London at any jobs that might be ‘live in’ —there are also websites where you live with an older person needing a bit of help for free in exchange for 10 to 15 hours help a week, bit of shopping, bit of cleaning , bit of company and you are allowed to have another job too - get a roof over your head and then look at part time opportunities, save a bit then build from there, flat share, full time job etc.
Thing with Spain is it can be great but in my opinion ( and my grandparents lived there for years) it’s place to go to in a solid stable situation, with cash behind you , a bought or nice rented home and either a remote business bringing consistent income or retired. It’s not ( in my opinion) a place to build a career in if not Spanish, unless you already have a career move behind you and it’s just a transfer
IndependentFun1745@reddit
Try Manchester. Rents are lower and it's booming now
PrizePersonality5843@reddit
Try Scotland. It’s the nicest part of the UK
Free-Creative@reddit
I know you are seeking to move back to the UK / London and gain some financial stability and a new start. You obviously experienced rough circumstances before leaving for Spain and then during you time in Spain. As you gain financial stability (I wish you the best and I am sure you will succeed), I have a suggestion - though I know your situation is not mine and I do not know all about you of course: look within yourself and be open to change here. Specifically, check out Melanie Tonia Evans, for example her book and definitely her NARP program. I suspect there are deeper reasons within yourself and you may be able to heal/develop in amazing ways. On a personal level, this has helped me tremendously the past five years - now loving a very peaceful life where things are going my way and with a balanced sense of self-worth. I wish you all the best and if you have questions, feel free to message directly
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I appreciate it.
Foxyaction@reddit
You’re immigrant. :)
tenfingerperson@reddit
The thing is the UK is quite easy to travel around… you can be based somewhere like Manchester which is booming and is a short train away from London if you want to see your family - but it does seem you need a support system, I do not think Spain has fit you and that’s ok
Individual-Air8378@reddit
Could you look into working for a British Company in hotels such as Neilson/Mark Warner? You get all accomodation paid for plus a wage and 3 meals a day at the hotel. Wages are lower but older people with experience can get into management and earn more. It's a great lifestyle with summers in sun and winters in the mountains back to back.
Abject-Substance-108@reddit
What is your profession?
Asterav@reddit
What are your skills? What can you do?
CenturionLegio@reddit
How good is your spanish?
twoworldman@reddit
If I hazard a guess, it's non-existent.
CenturionLegio@reddit
Well thats 99% of your problems
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Well, not really when I live in a village and 99% of the people visiting speak English. Everywhere I go I see Spanish workers communicating in English or French to tourists. So that’s not the problem.
CenturionLegio@reddit
You are complaining about work but yet you live in a village? You speak no spanish?... what did you expect my good man. This is all on you and you should have created a better enviroment for yourself. I was in a similar dilema but I decided to put myself in a better area and I learned the language and the dialects people spoke so everyone treated me much better especially the girls
adjm1991@reddit
I also don't understand how they just moved to Spain without a job, unless this was pre Brexit. As a Brit myself the way this person also writes doesn't seem natural/native or they're using AI to write all their responses. Really weird story and set of circumstances.
twoworldman@reddit
I'm not OP.
CenturionLegio@reddit
My bad G
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
You should never assume. My Spanish is decent and B2 level. I took the time to get a diploma from the university and learnt the language. It didn’t help. They give the jobs to native speakers. It’s understandable. The competition more fierce and jobs are not as available as they are in London.
CenturionLegio@reddit
What is your field of work, I do gastronomie as well but I understand you do that until you get a main job?
magrandan@reddit
Waiting for weeks to get a plumber, tradesman to fix things in my home - they are completely busy and raking it in the UK. Time to come back to Uk and become one of these mate
jerifishnisshin@reddit
Finally, some sensible advice. Should be at the top ffs.
Narrow-Monitor9136@reddit
Absolutely. Just think about things you’d pay someone else to do and that’s it 💰
98753@reddit
I think some of your experience might be related to being in a village rather than Spain as a whole. It sounds like you’ve had a rough time and bad treatment maybe for being a foreigner. But if you know small village UK you wouldn’t really put it past people to act similar. Perhaps finding a more open minded place could be beneficial for you, even a place with a better economy
Nearby-Flight5110@reddit
Move back to the UK and avoid London! Plenty of opportunity throughout the country at a lot less stress than London.
vixenlion@reddit
I felt like you. I was done with Spain, felt the same after 4 years there.
I became a British citizen due to my ex being English. - we went our separate ways. I moved to Spain before Brexit rules kicked in.
I ended up back in America but Inhad an America credit card.
Your best bet is to looking couch surfing in the UK or Spain.
You have to do something. What you are doing right now is t working.
It’s ok, look for jobs on the expat communities on Facebook.
There is the app milanuncias ( something like that it’s similar to gumtree) for a job.
Good luck.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I know. Doing something is better than feeling stuck and hopeless. I hope you’re happier where you are now. God bless.
vixenlion@reddit
I moved back to America. I live in Florida. I am doing ok.
It was a game changer ! I was able to buy a house!
You could maybe try selling timeshare in Spain.
God bless you. PM if you need suggestions.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you. God bless you too.
Tuna_Surprise@reddit
What citizenships/visas do you have? What are your skills, education, experience and desired career path?
The obvious answer is to move back to the UK but to any place other than London. London is the most expensive by far. But where you relocate depends on what you want to do
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I’m British. Born and raised in London. I wouldn’t feel comfortable going anywhere but London maybe outskirts but London is home. I have a brother there.
I have a BA which is pretty much useless.
Thank you for your input. I appreciate it and I’m grateful for your help.
Llamantin-1@reddit
So Spain is better than anywhere in UK outside London? I’ve never been to UK, is it really that bad? Just think of it, maybe it’s better to try to find a place in UK that’s cheaper than London.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I had very difficult neighbors in my building. They even damaged the lock on my door, which left me unable to enter my own home.
Thankfully, they’ve since moved out after the landlord increased the rent. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and I’ve lived in London my entire life. Seeing this side of people has genuinely shocked me.
They also gossip constantly, making up lies, which I don’t understand—especially when they don’t know me at all. I don’t like constantly being talked about and misunderstood. I find it frustrating how chisme culture is so normalized.
ambergresian@reddit
very strange you're hesitant about outside of London UK because there's no stability or familiarity, but you chose to move to Spain instead, which is even less stable and more unfamiliar.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
It’s my families holiday home. I had nowhere else to go. I come here during the summertime. It was either this or homeless in London. Which one would you choose? Don’t comment about a strangers decisions when you have no clue to what’s going on in their life. I didn’t have another option or choice. If you’re not going to say anything helpful or constructive just don’t comment at all and keep your opinions to yourself.
ambergresian@reddit
My intent is to call out the contradiction. A vacation home isn't the same as living somewhere.
I fully think it made sense in the short term to move there with your circumstances. It was a good emergency move to make. That totally makes sense.
I mean to bring attention to your hesitation when considering the long term. Long term, these reasons don't make sense in comparison to where you are.
I hope that makes sense and I wish you well.
EddAra@reddit
You could always move there later. Maybe it would be easier to relocate to a cheaper area where you can find a job, then you can safe money. In the meantime you can think what you want in life and what you need to do reach it.
Glittering_Echo_7963@reddit
I think this might be your problem... I'm Spanish and I moved to London when I was 20, I lasted one year. London is for the rich and the career-oriented. If you're neither, financial stress may consume you.
Anyway... having lived in other places throughout the UK, I'm now settled in Scotland fairly happy and own a home with my husband. I would personally never swap this for Spain (nor for London). Most Spaniards are rather aggressive in their demeanour, overconfident, and don't leave room for nuance or self-doubt... which I believe you have somewhat realised. I love that in the UK people respect each other by default, regardless of whether they're compatible. In Spain you kinda have to justify yourself for going against the grain, at least that was my experience growing up. I don't know where that places you as a foreigner in a country where most people don't move beyond the neighborhood they were raised in.
You may want to consider the rest of the UK, imo Edinburgh beats London any day, though it's now out of the average budget, unfortunately.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your comment. I feel very seen. I hope the Spaniards reading these comments are not offended, I’ve just had extremely bad neighbors and experiences at work and at home which is supposed to be my safe space. The community Im in a lot of dogs are taken to the garage (not the park which is just outside) they all take their dogs to piss on my car for years now, and they ONLY do it on my car. Nobody else’s. I’ve also gone to the police many times when I first arrived to do anuncias because of the unfair treatment. I complained to my community president as well and they did nothing to help me. They blamed ME for how others have been harassing me. That being said, it doesn’t make me feel negatively about all Spaniards. God bless you and your family 🙏🏽 thanks for the advice. It’s much appreciated.
Glittering_Echo_7963@reddit
No worries, it's easy to feel like you're crazy for feeling unhappy there when most people reviewing Spain online are there on a literal holiday, or living there on a foreign salary and in a honeymoon phase with the country, while not being able to speak the language. I actually think my husband loves visiting partly because he can't understand my family lol... So yeah it's a conversation that needs to be had... I get asked a lot here in the UK what I'm doing here when I could be in Spain, and it upsets me... They sum up the country as good weather and plentiful paellas, while ignoring the actually relevant bits, such as people's character and cultural norms...
Taking the dogs to the garage instead of the park is wild btw, but sadly I'm not surprised nobody does anything about it. That's kinda the general vibe, if they're all doing it, it becomes normalised. Best of luck making your way back 🤞and don't let the issues you're having consume you if you've made up your mind about leaving!
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for making me feel normal about the abuse I’ve endured. They gaslighted me about it and I won’t accept it. It’s dehumanizing and the police can’t help much because if they don’t see it happening they can’t do anything. Then the few kind neighbours ask me if I have a husband when I’m barely holding on to my mental health. I came here thinking my life would get easier, it sadly has become worse than I ever could have expected. Now I have to rebuild with no support and no savings. I know I’ll be able to. I’m strong but the years here have really shocked me to my core about how evil some people can be. You get a lot of theft in London but people don’t ordinarily go out their way to harass you. They just ignore you or look down at you. God bless you and thank you for your support and advice. Hope you have a lovely weekend.
jamjar188@reddit
Something is up where you live if people are treating you that way. Do you live in a bad part of town or a block that is social housing?
Your story about all of your neighbours ganging up by taking their dogs to pee on your car in the garage is very unusual. This is not typical for Spain. It sounds like something specific to your apartment block.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I had very difficult neighbors in my building. They even damaged the lock on my door, which left me unable to enter my own home.
Thankfully, they’ve since moved out after the landlord increased the rent. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and I’ve lived in London my entire life. Seeing this side of people has genuinely shocked me.
They also gossip constantly, making up lies, which I don’t understand—especially when they don’t know me at all. I don’t like constantly being talked about and misunderstood. I find it frustrating how chisme culture is so normalized.
jamjar188@reddit
I mean, my parents have lived in a comunidad for 25 years and in that whole time they have only encountered one problematic neighbour (and everyone else agreed that this neighbour was a bad egg).
I get that people gossip but what you're describing is truly something else.
I'm sorry for the issues you've encountered. It sounds like you should have left that apartment long ago.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
It’s been terrible. I wish I could have. I tried in 2023 unsuccessfully but I’m trying again now. Wish me luck. 🙏🏽
BasKaroApp@reddit
You say they are racist to you...what is your ethnicity?
techno-wizard@reddit
You were comfortable enough to go to Spain. I don’t think you will find any UK city quite as big of a transition (except maybe Birmingham).
More-Environment4639@reddit
Tonbridge worked well for us when we moved back from Spain, it has good connections to London for work and seeing family (I have family in South London) but it’s still somewhat cheaper.
Dachixl@reddit
I'm not a professional, but what you're describing is something a lot of functional people experience. Talking to someone who knows how to guide you makes a huge difference.
Kiwi_kim09@reddit
How about try to teach English in Spanish schools? Or maybe try other asian countries and teach English?
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I applied for preply. I’m waiting to be approved. I think this is my best option by far. Thank you for your advice.
Kiwi_kim09@reddit
I mean go to schools website or any other website for teachers. A lot are hiring for sure.
world_warri0r@reddit
I am sorry for your situation. I would go back home to the UK, it might not be easy but, with enough perseverance and hard work, you will be ok. I did the same only came back to the US, it was very difficult initially but, still easier than in Europe. I eventually got a great job and the rest is history. Good luck! ☘️
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you so much. I think I may have to. There is no home to go back to but at least I’ll be in familiar surroundings and life can go back to normalcy. I hate to speak negatively about such a beautiful country but the reality is, this is not where I’m meant to be. Europe is fun for a holiday but not for living. I hope I didn’t offend any native Spaniards, this is just my experience. I still think it’s a great place to visit. God bless you.
Broad-Rabbit8180@reddit
I am spanish and I am not offended at all, and I would say that most of the spaniards wont be either. I moved to the Netherlands 2 months ago and everyone ask me why when "Spain is so good", most of the people have the idea from the movies or the holidays but when you have to live there with a spanish salary and not having a high level of spanish then is not fun at all. I understand that feeling of wanting to start a new life in another country, but my recomendation is that you go back to uk, you know how stuff works there, you have a Network with your friends and some opportunities can show up, and no one will be asking about your spanish level or paperwork all the time. I am sorry to say this but the best option to come to live here is either when you have a remote job, you are a pensionist or have a high position in a multinational company.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
You are 100% right. People have an idealistic idea of Spain (it’s fine if you’re a pensioner) but it’s not the reality of the situation. Going on a holiday and living are two different realities. I’ve had thoughts of suicide it’s been that bad.
I’m making my way home. I just wish I didn’t wait so long to make a decision. Starting at 0 in my 30s is also embarrassing for me when ppl my age are starting families and I can’t even think about that when I just have to focus on surviving. Better late than never. I’m scared about making the wrong decision because we only live 1 life.
Thanks for not being offended. I feel grateful for a place to stay when I know so many people in the world are struggling to survive post COVID.
I hope you are happy in the Netherlands and wish you all the best in your future.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Very happy for you that you found a great job. I hope I find one too. 🙏🏽 there’s no place like home
Salty_Safety5623@reddit
From your responses to the other comments I see you are not keen on moving anywhere but London, because you don't want to live in a "unfamiliar" place where you don't know anyone.. what made you think that moving to Spain in the first place was a good idea? If you think you can't make it within your own country, there is no way you will make it out of it. Expat life is not for everyone, move back to the UK but I would say you need to be more flexible, and definetely more realistic with your expectations. Good luck!
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I know I can make it in my own city. I was just forced out due to my living situation and had nowhere else to go, I had a job lined up but nowhere to stay, we have a holiday home in Spain. It was either this, or homelessness in ldn. I never ask for help I thought it was a sign of weakness. That turned into 6 years abroad of pretending I’m okay when I’m not. I know what to do now. Thanks for the advice.
pip300@reddit
Would TEFL/TESL be an option for you in Spain ? Are there are call centre type jobs in your area looking for English speakers ?
However sometimes you have to know when you've given it a shot and it's just not working anymore. I see many tiktoks online where people complain about the UK, go to live a life in the sun in Spain/Thailand/Cyprus and realise the job situation is not quite what they thought and they have to try make money on content creation (some people do brilliantly at this but it's a tough market to crack)
Unfortunately the UK and London rentals has become insane !
So if you did come back, options would be staying with friends / family ? Rent out room in HMO? See if a live in job is possible? Vanlife/Caravan?
It could be worth getting any job just to get on your feet, and work from there and start looking based on your skill set. Job market is Brutal right now too.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your helpful advice. I know the job market has always been insane I’m sure it’s worse now. I have to mentally prepare for that. Thanks for the heads up. God bless.
Critical_Mongoose939@reddit
Hello, I navigated a similar situation. In fact, I went back and forth from London to some Spanish cities a couple times trying to 'make it' (have a decent salary, save money, etc)
There were times were I was not only financially broke, but mentally and emotionally. I felt a failure, felt that my life collapsed, etc.
At 35, I was broke in Spain with no savings or pension. I borrowed 2k from my brother, opened a VISA credit card and gave London a third shot. I ended up in a corporate office job where I manage to climb the ladder, save money, etc. Today I have a considerable amount of money in ISA and Pension.
If I was in your shoes, I'll try to get a 'decent enough' buffer to rent a room (even better if you can crash in someone's house for a few weeks), get back to the UK, and start looking for a job. Once you're financially safe, everything else will follow.
You're right in thinking that in Spain opportunities are little. Furthermore my experience (and that of many people I know) is that workplaces are often brash and toxic (not saying all are, just an oversimplification of the vibe). They often pay little, the boss is a little tyrant, coworkers are be distant or cruel, etc. (compared to UK averages and standards - again, some places in the UK suck too).
Good luck and I hope you get out of the hole. Have faith and work hard.
PS: Before Spaniards burn me on the stake as an unholy guiri -> I was born and raised in Spain, all my family are Spaniards, so I am not indeed a guiri.
jazzyjeffla@reddit
As a Spaniard ; I can say you’re not wrong in anything you highlighted about work conditions here.
Mercredee@reddit
My Spanish friend working in London says the same about the work environment in southern Spain, sadly
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you soooo much for your very helpful reply. I’m also not a guiri. I hate that word😩
Then_Adeptness_6598@reddit
What do you want to do next, if you could do whatever you wanted?
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Nobody gives you any leeway or understanding when it comes to rent. If you don’t have the money, you don’t get the place. That’s why I had to leave again — I was forced to in 2023. I wanted to stay more than anything. All I want is to find a decent, clean, affordable home in a safe area. With crime rising (thanks, Sadiq), that feels harder than ever. I tried looking for cheaper options online and came across a man renting out a room in his flat in an area I liked. He was essentially expecting me to pay his entire rent — £2,000 a month — just for one room. The number of scammers and genuinely exploitative people in London is another serious concern for me; they’re everywhere. Because I had a good education, my accent is often deemed as “posh,” and people assume I’m wealthy when I’m not. That’s usually when the exploitation starts. On top of that, a few people I know have taken their own lives during the time I’ve been away, which has been incredibly difficult to process. My biggest concerns are my mental health and my housing options. I have far more of a community there than I do here, and that support would make a real difference. The cost of living in London brings out the worst in people — thieves, scammers, bullies, and harassers — because everyone is under pressure. In 2023, the cheapest rent I could find was £1,800 for a basement room with no windows. Now it’s likely closer to £2,000, especially with the cost-of-living crisis, and that may not even include bills. I’ve never lived alone before, so navigating all of this on my own is genuinely frightening.
Economy-Reading-2811@reddit
This is absolute BS. You're not looking properly or youre such a liability that no one decent will rent to you. I remt out a property in Z2 for 1500. Get off your ass and do some work and save some money. If you can speak decent Spanish you can move from where you are get a job elsewhere and then move on from there.
StrengthNo467@reddit
I don't mean to be patronising but why would a business choose to allocate a portion of its revenue to you each month? What are they buying (outcomes, accountability) that they can't source elsewhere in the market?
You can't speak the language and therefore interact with customers or stakeholders which rules out the significant majority of businesses.
You therefore need in demand skills or a network to rely on, which you have neither.
Again not to be patronising but surely the answer is learn Spanish and gain an in demand skill, or leave?
Top-Half7224@reddit
OP- Sorry you sound like you are in a bad place at the moment, but at 31 your thirties aren't "passing you by" (yet). But if you lurk these subs long enough you will see relying on seasonal or local markets as a foreigner gives you the least autonomy and financial opportunities of anyone. It will get harder the older you get and the longer you have a weak CV. What your dad did to your family home is irrelevant now. You are an adult and need to figure out what YOU can do. Look forward, careful not to slip into victim mode. You don't have to move back to the most expensive city in the UK, but without giving us any practical details, like your passport, job skills, or education, nobody can give you specific advice.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I’m sober. Thanks for the advice. God bless
Top-Half7224@reddit
Good luck to you.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you sir
Michelle_90@reddit
Is there a reason why it has to be London? London is much more expensive and competitive than other areas. Have you considered Bristol or smaller areas which have more roles available to you. If you secure remote work you could live in a cheaper part of UK to cover your rent.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I have family and friends there. I feel safer somewhere I know the surroundings. We may have sold our home but it still feels like home to me. I know the areas well, the bus and tube routes. I’m more comfortable going back to a place I know feels like home. I know it’s tough living there but I can make it work as long as I find a decent place to stay.
mmoonbelly@reddit
Or northern cities where the rents are cheaper
techno-wizard@reddit
The Spanish dream is taking advantage of the weaker economy when you’ve saved money from a higher income, stronger economy. You don’t want to be dependant on a weak economy.
Go back to the UK and get back in the system so you’re eligible for NHS, UK state pensions and benefits. You sound too close to the breadline to not need those safety nets.
Give up on London. It’s not for the standard British income levels. Some of my colleagues who have no link to the UK own London property and each one earns well over 100k gbp. Brits can’t compete.
Do a job search over the whole country. There’s opportunities for people willing to relocate. It doesn’t need to be forever, just until you are on your feet. My parents rent a house for about £600 pcm in the midlands, so consider what a room in a house share could cost.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your helpful advice. I just can’t see myself relocating to a place I’m not familiar with. With no friends or family nearby, I’d feel extremely unsafe. I can’t give up on London it’s my hometown and the only place I can see myself existing. Maybe on the outskirts. I’ll have a look. God bless and thanks for taking the time to read and respond 🙏🏽
coffeewalnut08@reddit
Well, London isn’t the only place to live in the UK. Of course it’s filled with high rents and competition for jobs, it’s home to 9 million people.
MagicalCatty@reddit
What about moving back to the UK but not to London? Although the market is not great, I’m sure you’ll be able to find a job outside of London
neelvk@reddit
My advice:
According to data, there is an employment boom in Spain. You may need to move to find the job that suits you and gets you out of the hole.
Best of luck!
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you. God bless.
T-Roll-@reddit
What I would do is move back to the UK and try to skill up using the job centre as a stepping stone. Then you could possibly go through college and try to find a career path that you enjoy doing.
In the meantime you could apply for remote work. Instead of working tourism try look into customer service roles. That often gives other opportunities to learn about other departments.
In the end moving back home sooner rather than later will be a better decision, because it’ll force you into making important decisions. Have you got someone to stay with? Family or friends?
I’ve been living in Germany for 10 years now and I only had 1000 quid to my name when i arrived.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
I tried to move back in 2023 and found a job quickly but couldn’t secure housing. I was living in a hotel that I could no longer afford to stay in so I was forced to quit that job and come back to Spain. I should have stayed and wanted to but when you can’t afford accommodation it forces you out.
xackac@reddit
Do you have a good relationship with your brother? Perhaps you can find a flat to rent together? He can be the main leaseholder but you both pay the rent?
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Yes we do have a good relationship but he already has his own accommodation and is living with a friend who’s his flatmate. Not sure about the details but he can’t help me, he’s not in a position to help to be honest. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.
Feeling-Pen3745@reddit
Don't say that on this sub. EU is obviously a paradise.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
If you’re retirement age yes. It’s beautiful and can be a paradise. If you’re a young adult with no income it can be a very difficult existence no matter how nice the weather or food is.
askialee@reddit
Go back home. I can not understand people moving to another country with no reliable income. Employment and pay suck in countries outside of the US, UK, or Canada 🤷♂️. Unless have some specialized skill.
Wrong-Mud7793@reddit (OP)
Thank you for your comment.