If someone makes me uncomfortable on my business page social media, how do I go about not letting them book?

Posted by Specific-Square1088@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 54 comments

I wont go into specifics as im wanting to stay anon but essentially I run a business which requires customers to book into in order to access the service. So its bookings only. There is a lady online who comments a lot on my social media content. And in quite a weird way. It can range from asking whether I have children or not (and if not, when?) Or it can be "how do you afford to run the business" ... which is an odd question anyway. She just left a comment now saying "i thought someone would reply to this" and its just a lone comment, unrelated to anything and not linked to a previous comment thread. The issue is she wants to book and has just started to ask about how to do that. I'd like to deny her that because she makes me uncomfortable but hasnt really done anything other than comment weird things. The address is publicly listed so cant really stop her from showing up. Nor can i endlessly be booked full for the rest of time. How would you go about handling this situation? Can I just say a polite but firm no Or do I just get a grip and let her come? I do work on my own so it's not like I've got back up or safety in numbers. Wwyd? I appreciate its pretty vague!

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54 Comments

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

Block them.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

I can block them of course, but I wouldnt be able to stop her showing up at the address

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

If they show up call the police.

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

And say what exactly?

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omniwrench-@reddit

“Hello I am the owner of Business X on Y Street and there’s a person who has been denied service and is refusing to leave, their behaviour is making my staff and customers uncomfortable and I would like some assistance?” You can be as abrupt/urgent as you want, but that’s the general outline of what should be said.

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

They haven't refused to leave. You've leapt to an endpoint with zero evidence.

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omniwrench-@reddit

Why would you have to phone the police if they didn’t refuse to leave? Its a hypothetical scenario, which started with the police being called

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

I replied to a comment about them showing up, and you then leap to a scenario of them refusing to leave. You are catastrophising just to justify wasting police time.

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MantisToboggan25@reddit

This is a bizarre response. What is the point of suggesting or discussing the scenario if they just left after OP politely asked?

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

Again I replied to a comment that set the scenario.

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MantisToboggan25@reddit

Its sad that your reading comprehension skills aren’t strong enough to realise that the “call the police” comment was quite obviously for a situation where they turn up but don’t leave (from the downvotes/upvotes in this comment thread, its quite clear everyone else managed to grasp this point).

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

What a strange comment. You aren't contributing.

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UnacceptableUse@reddit

I think it's assumed that in this scenario they refuse to leave, otherwise there is no purpose to the discussion

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Curiousinsomeways@reddit

Again that wasn't in the comment I replied to.

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omniwrench-@reddit

I’ve been wasting police time since the 90’s (My mum works for the police)

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tmr89@reddit

Are you suggesting they lie to the police?

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

"Hello, is this the police?"

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Millefeuille-coil@reddit

Depending on the online comments harassment, it’s a very fine line.

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tmr89@reddit

Solid Reddit response 😂

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

I mean what else is there to do if this person doesn't make them feel safe? 😅 Batter them with a spade?

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bareneth@reddit

What you going to say hello? Yes please. There's a woman here who's turned up without an appointment. She makes me feel unsafe because she's overly familiar on Facebook

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bumbleb33-@reddit

Yep. If you've asked her to leave and she refuses to that's exactly what you do.

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GatorShinsDev@reddit

"hello police, there's a strange woman here who's licking the windows and intermittently howling at me, may I please have an officer come out to escort her off the property? Thank you."

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TheTjalian@reddit

Specifically the 7 of spades.

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Mundo7@reddit

😂😂😂😂 yes god forbid a customer shows up at a business

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Well I dont want creepy ones on site 🥲

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_tym@reddit

If they turn up you say, I apologise but you don't have an appointment. Also don't be too concered, I deal with a few people like this. They often do this when they're drunk and at home, or having somewhat of a mental break, they don't actually make any move to visit. By not blocking them, you're enabling things to escalate.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Thats a good point, thank you!

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CheeryBottom@reddit

Could you say something vague like you don’t think your services would be suitable for her and you don’t believe you have the skills to provide the service she is requesting and you think it would be better for her to find someone who could provide the service she requires, to the standard she deserves? Make it sound like your doing her a favour by turning her away as a customer?

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BadShi-6@reddit

I was a private therapist for a long time and used to get a few ‘quirky’ people like this that would openly basically harass and act up on social media. It is a concern that these people will actually show up etc so believe me, totally get you. You have a few options. 1) You can block them or stop them from commenting. A heads up though, this *can* wind people up and they usually lash out or start up even more. As much as people say blocking is making it clear the behaviour is unacceptable, some people it can make 10x worse. I blocked said person from commenting on my posts etc and they came back and tried to book under a fake profile. If you feel it would make them worse, don’t bother. Chances are someone else that see’s her commenting constantly will pipe up and correct them eventually. Don’t engage with them though, it’s what they’re waiting on. 2) if they do enquire with you, tell them it’s not something you can book as a lone person and must be a group booking/setting. This usually weeds out the weirdos. You’re also well within your right to simply tell this person you don’t feel comfortable after their social media interactions. You could also just tell them you’re fully booked or not taking new clients. 3) if it gets to the point where it’s harassment, let law enforcement know. It might seem trivial to take comments to law enforcement but better safe than sorry with weirdos. 4) if you’re concerned about this person turning up at the address, get some additional security like cameras, an alarm etc. Request ID upon booking so you know they’re who they say they are. If you have neighbours to your location just let them know you’ve had some issues and if they hear any form of alarm from your property, to call for help ASAP.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Thank you! This is such a reasonable response and I really appreciate you taking the time to write it out!

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brilliantinemortal@reddit

If she books, cancel the booking. If she shows up, she doesn't have a valid booking and turn her away. It's your business, she doesn't have a right to a booking

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1968Bladerunner@reddit

Just be aware, if you block then they may return in a different guise / account & book, then shout very publicly or on SM if you refuse service without very valid reason.

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dreamponies@reddit

We have an online booking system. In order to book you have to agree to our Terms and Conditions (they may not bother to read them, but they have to agree to them! In the T&Cs it says that our service is only available by prior booking and that we reserve the right to refuse admission or cancel the booking. I’d suggest you have a look at adding something similar to your page if you haven’t already. You can cover things like cancellation policy etc too. I’d agree with blocking as a first move.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

I have all the right T&Cs in place so all that kind of thing is there to protect me in that regard. I suppose I just avoid confrontation like the plague so don't want to have the direct face to face conversation if possible. I have now blocked across the platforms (why are there so many!) so hopefully its enough 🙏

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dreamponies@reddit

That’s great, I’d just be wary of them making a new profile/using a friend and asking why blocked. My go to is either to say unfortunately it doesn’t feel like a good fit, or to make your terms so it excludes them, or has something difficult for them to comply with.

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MaxMouseOCX@reddit

Stalker behaviour, block/ignore/disconnect and move on. I had a stalker in college (as a guy), I tried to be nice... And accommodating, yet not hurt her, because men need to be nice to women right? - the guys I was on the course with thought it was hilarious, and took the piss out of me constantly. Eventually I had to involve the college themselves. Tell her she's being weird and to fuck off you're not interested then block her entirely.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Yeah I hear you. And i did used to reply a lot as engagement is good ....but that was before it was several times a day. Its not even that she says ridiculously creepy things (bar the child question) but its the frequency and the way its worded sometimes. Just a weird vibe! Im so sorry you had to experience a stalker situation. I can't imagine how stressful that must have been.

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worldworn@reddit

You can refuse service to anyone without any reason (excluding protected status normally). You can turn anyone away without an appointment. How you do it, is varied. "Sorry but I cannot offer you a booking at this time" offering no further information or explanation is one way.

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dupersuperduper@reddit

If you run a service that people only come in if they have an appointment, maybe have it so there’s an intercom and they ring the bell and you buzz them in.

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CactusCastrator@reddit

You have three options: 1. Block them 2. Ignore a booking request 3. Say 'I don't feel comfortable accepting this booking because of the way you've interacted with our business online. X, y and z may be better suited to your needs' 3 is ideal, but if you don't feel like you can, then the other two are perfectly valid.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

I think blocking as a first point of call is definitely a good (and popular) shout. And then hopefully they dont send in a booking request / show up. Maybe they'll forget about me if I stop showing up on newsfeeds

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SWTransGirl@reddit

Block from your page, remove all comments from her, and also as a proprietor, you have the right to deny service. No reasons required.

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Inevitable_Outcome56@reddit

Let them book then contact them immediately to cancel and refer them to another practitioner. Say you are not suitable to treat them.

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Low-Captain1721@reddit

If it's any consolation one of my sister's friends is quite weird on social media etc - a few people can be. However I've known her years & in irl I just interpret her as being 'different' (slight euphomism) but not unpleasant. Of course as a business you have a right not to do with anyone for any reason (except if that reason amounted to discrimination). If you refused the booking and blocked her she may turn even more weird and just turn up anyway or she may just take the hint. Personally unless her posts are overtly offensive or intimidating I would just go with the flow & let her book 👍

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imtheorangeycenter@reddit

"There's a professional conflict arising from our interactions on social - I don't make the rules but also don't want to be struck off" Or something similar appropriate to your profession/service?

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enterzale92@reddit

I would say there's a few questions that might be worth finding out before any decent advice. Are you male or female? What service do you offer to customers? If you can't say, I'm assuming it may involve close contact based on your worry? Ultimately it's your business. You don't have to serve anyone you don't want to. If the person were to turn up announced then you could politely ask them to leave. If they refused then you may have to get the police involved. Have you considered blocking this person from your socials?

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Im female, early 30s I dont want to go into what business it is as its incredibly niche. Nothing freaky haha but it would be a very narrow pool of suspects! Its close contact in the sense of conversation, question and answers, in about a 2 hour capacity Ive considered blocking, but I cant block them from my website (I dont think?) for when it comes to making a booking

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enterzale92@reddit

Ah fair enough haha! The main reason asking about male or female btw was just in terms of whether you were worried about being accused of something behind closed doors (which tbf wouldn't particularly matter about your gender, but there are still stereotypes about if you were male, etc...) You couldn't block them from your website but could you keep an eye out for their name on a booking? And cancel the booking if it came through (citing concerns about the working relationship not working based on social media interactions?) Obviously they could book under a different name but it's possible they aren't even using their real name on social media anyway. I would say it's worth a wider think about how you would deal with any client (not just this person) who made you feel uncomfortable during a session and what your protections in place are. It's always the risk of working solo but maybe think about a neighbour or friend who you'd contact? Do you have cctv? At what point would you call the police, etc. I know it doesn't help with this potential person but it's worth having that thought process.

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HorrorAccomplished78@reddit

Say it’s families only. No single people.

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

Thats not a bad idea, to say it requires a minimum number of people at point of booking

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KatieCampbel1@reddit

Does whatever service you offer require a great deal of 1-1 interaction with the customer? If not, I’d let her book

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Specific-Square1088@reddit (OP)

In a conversation type way, yes

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Itsstillyourturn@reddit

Depending on the platform/app you host your booking system there might well be a filter in the settings and you can exclude based on name/username.