23yr marriage, divorce and now exhausted

Jesus this comment section is freaking depressing. My long story shorter: was effectively married to a man for 13 years who said he wanted to be married but never actually proposed to me. Then we got married for the health insurance. Then divorced 18onths later. 14 months after that, he was married to his female boss (with my same name, 10 days older than me - basically a replacement Me). He whined a lot about not getting sex from me, which was a complete turn off so he rarely got sex from me. Fucking babycry, that one. That was 16 years ago. I spent the first 6 of those years figuring out who I was, what I liked, while also lamenting the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend who wanted me. In retrospect, all that pining for a dude was a waste of time. All those guys I dated were meh (or much worse). I just needed to get my own head and life straight. I thought I'd be single forever and was coming to terms with that. Then I met someone who liked me the way I was - no performing a role that he needed me to play for his own ego. I was still fairly sure we'd never get married and I was pretty ok with that. He's a good person, I'm a good person. Neither of us need the other to complete us. Then my dude proposed to me out of the blue. And now I'm planning a wedding to the man I've been with for nearly 10 years and I couldn't be more secure with my choices. All this to say: if you don't want to be single, don't be single. But DO figure yourself out first. Is there anything more you can do about your health problems to make YOU feel good? What about non-health related stuff? I'd imagine having a jerk husband as a boat anchor around your neck whining about the things HE wants regardless of your needs wasn't helpful. Reframe his absence as a blessing that gave you the freedom to allow you to be you without his immature, selfish bullshit. And when you do date again, do not look at any of them as "the one" until you've seen them at their very worst. But you first. Always you first.