Sandwich Generation

Posted by mosephis13@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 11 comments

When hearing about being part of the sandwich generation, I always thought of things to do. Appointments to make, errands to run… but I’m feeling an emotional sandwich. I’m feeling like I make the bulk of the effort to stay in touch not only with my adult son, but with my 88-year-old mom, and it’s mentally taxing. Is this typical ?

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11 Comments

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Maleficent508@reddit

My experience was/is that children call their parents regularly and parents call kids if they need something or something happens. We tend to call parents or get called by kids about once a month but text in between. I'm curious about what you find "taxing"? My calls are usually "You good? Need anything? Love you!" unless we are planning something or the kids are feeling chatty (they both call while cleaning their kitchens and what a distraction LOL).

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IM_The_Liquor@reddit

Yes… like I tell people all the time ‘the road goes in both directions’. You need to put a little of that ‘keep in touch’ and ‘drop in for a visit’ on the people you want to keep in touch with… I mean, I can understand you have to go the extra mile for your aging mother, but your adult son? Your brother? Your old highschool friends? At some point, someone needs to call you up or just drop by for a visit…

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demona2002@reddit

My family members make no effort at initiating contact but are always genuinely glad to hear from me when I do. So I just do it.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

You don't think every generation has been like this?

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mosephis13@reddit (OP)

That’s not been my experience, because I’ve always been the one to put energy into reaching out to my mom. She doesn’t do anything unless someone contacts her, so it’s new to me to have to make the effort in both directions. Like a friendship, I would expect there to be energy from both sides.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Well that isn't my experience nor the experience of my family and my close friends.

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mosephis13@reddit (OP)

So you’re the one carrying the relationship with both your children and your parents?

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

No. But don't you think your parents (and other people parents), when they were out age, were doing the same thing with their parents and you and your bothers/sisters?

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cg325is@reddit

Fortunately, I’ve never been in that situation. No kids, so lose that bread, then parents are only 20 years older than me, were healthy, and didn’t need a stitch of care ( until mom got cancer and passed at 71). Now dad has a new wife and they’re traveling all over.

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however613@reddit

I worry about everyone 😞

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greatflicks@reddit

3 kids in their 20s, and my parents were 30 years older than me and needed a lot of assistance before they passed. The sandwich part is tough but the alternative is that they are gone.