Does being signed off work actually help? What did you do in your time?

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Illustrious-Log-3142@reddit

Yes, it helps. For some it is the time needed to recover, for others it gives them headspace to get support or decide what they want to do about the situation eg. for me I decided I had to leave my job and raise a grievance for the bullying I experienced. It's tough but get a routine, make sure you're getting outside and have some exercise regularly - it really helped me in the long run.

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whatrmyritez@reddit

Hey, I know this is an old reply, but what happened with the grievance? I am in the same boat as you were and not sure if it'll do me more harm than good to raise. Glad you're feeling better now :)

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Illustrious-Log-3142@reddit

Hey, honestly you don't want to hear what happened to me, it is not a pretty story! I am so sorry you're experiencing something that requires raising a grievance, my best advice is to contact ACAS and Citizens Advice, put your mental health first and remember HR are there to protect the company not you. I know it's not what you want to hear but I wish someone had told me at the time.

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whatrmyritez@reddit

Hey, thanks for getting back to me. Sucks to hear you didn't have a positive outcome in your situation. I'm thinking to just quit once I've got something else lined up and keep my head down as I've seen that the managers are all for themselves and it's only worth raising issues if there'll be change - which there won't be. Best to keep it moving and not letting it overtake my life. Hope you're doing better now, and thanks again :)

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Illustrious-Log-3142@reddit

With the experience I've had that's exactly what I'd do! Life's not perfect but it's 1000x better than it was, I truly hope you are able to find somewhere that values you, these places do exist!

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smellyfeet25@reddit

Correct me if I am wrong but time off work for stress seems like it is a privilege for the privileged. Most people would only get a statutory sick pay .Maybe some companies pay full pay for this but many workers would not be given this . So they would either have to live off a partner (not great) or survive on a smaller amount of money. . Many people just feel they have to get on with it.

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Tildatots@reddit (OP)

I will get SSP only. I am lucky that I have good savings, and a supportive partner. Honestly I’m in such a hole mentally it doesn’t feel like a privilege at all, and part of my worrying is even with savings, I can’t afford to take more than a couple of weeks, and I can’t ever quite this hell hole because I need the money. Needs must and all

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smellyfeet25@reddit

Yes but partners can come and go. Nothing or nobody is guaranteed or lasts forever in life because life does not last forever. . Take that as a concern or a comfort ha ha and savings dwindles if you have to live off them. so Yes,needs must . unfortunately.

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Avacado7145@reddit

Work your contracted hours only.

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Moonsat@reddit

This, we are talented enough do do it all, but we are human though and a skill im (still) learning if that i have to spend extra hours working then i took too much on

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

Not possible in many salaried jobs unfortunately.

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anaughtybeagle@reddit

This is it. The second you start doing unpaid overtime, it becomes expected.

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Salt-Trade-5210@reddit

Slept, cried, walked, cried, read boiks, binge-watched TV series, saw my GP, found some sources of MH support and made some careful plans to protect my MH in the future.

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deeplyhecticenergy@reddit

100% worth it. I was in a very similar position and was also signed off for 4 weeks. I could FEEL the stress making me less of myself - I was short tempered with my team and turning me into a bit of a downer. All my free time was spent dreading the start of the next working day. The time off really helped undo a lot of it. The time off was invaluable in helping me reconnect with all the relationships I was too burnt out to engage in outside of work. Try to use the time to meet friends even if it’s meeting them somewhere convenient for them after work, plan a nice evening in for your partner if you have one, use the time in the day to pick up old hobbies or try new ones - basically anything to put yourself back at the steering wheel and remind yourself that you work to live not live to work

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SenSel@reddit

If your employer is great and sympathetic, why didn't they pick up on the last three months of you being overworked and stressed?

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Master_of_Ocelots@reddit

In my experience it was because there wasn't another viable option to the people who are sympathetic, until you force the wider company's hand via HR and and someone higher up gives authority to make a change once advised the repercussions of not.

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alilyspider@reddit

It massively helped me, and I also quit at the end of the month off. I couldn't stop thinking about work. Time to breathe was vital to getting myself better.

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vivamo96@reddit

I’d suggest looking elsewhere

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budapest_budapest@reddit

It’s more of a pause to plan a reset, than a magic cure. It’s time out to assess what is important to you and what you need to change. And to think about how those changes can be implemented when you return to work, or indeed whether they can be or whether you need to look for a new job.

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dX_iIi_Xb@reddit

I had a 6 weeks off in a similar situation to you. It did nothing. I'm coming to end of 3 months garden leave now and am pretty much back to normal now. To illustrate, I've lost nearly 2 stone in the last 6 weeks. Do not return before you are ready!

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humunculus43@reddit

Update your CV and get a new job. in all likelihood your job won’t change, and it’s affecting your health. Move on

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L-G-@reddit

I also work in marketing and was signed off for 2-3 months. The time absolutely helped to reset initially however: 1. Make sure you agree on a plan with your manager / HR / occupational health BEFORE you return ie what work place adjustments do you need to avoid a repeat. 2. See a therapist and learn some good coping mechanisms and techniques that will help your long term mental health. These situations are usually due to internal and external factors so important to tackle both. All the best.

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KatieCampbel1@reddit

Exercise, eat well, read a book and speak to your employer to establish what sustainable measures they’re putting in place to help you

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ThrobbingGristle@reddit

This, and only this. We all have to take personal responsibility for our health and wellbeing. Nobody else will.

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kryptonick901@reddit

Speaking from experience: Being off work in and of itself won’t help. Sleep, good diet and exercise will help you cope better and be more resilient. Maybe that’s enough, but frankly 50hr weeks is mental and it’s going to break anyone over time. Clock in at 9, leave at 5, work to rule. Or do what I did, get a new job.

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olooooooopop@reddit

Yes, and no. Ive been signed off work a few times, the first was after my father's unexpected death and although my work gave me two weeks bereavement and a extra two weeks leave after that when I came back I still wasn't ready. I had a month signed off and it really helped, but I will say I was struggling some time later and my drs first response was to offer to sign me off, I accepted but actually I think that time was not helpful at all and I ended up feeling worse, getting worse, not leaving my flat or taking to people. And when I was back at work it was harder.

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wherethedragonsleeps@reddit

I was you last year. Working in marketing, working overtime (and not paid extra for it), stressed out of my mind, panic attacks, anxiety, exhaustion to the point I couldn't function, the whole shebang. One day my body and brain just...shut down. It was really scary and I ended up getting signed off for 12 weeks. I decided that kind of environment wasn't a good fit for me and didn't go back. It's been six months now and I'm only just starting to job search again (but some non-work related issues may have contributed to that, the last few months have been ROUGH). Regardless, I still maintain I made the right choice, and that initial 12 weeks away enabled me the clarity to see that my job was burning me out, and focus on getting the help I desperately needed for my mental health. Take the time, and please be selfish with it. Do whatever you need to rest and recharge, and try (harder than it sounds I know) not to feel guilty because then you aren't actually resting. Refill your cup first, and then you'll be in a much better place to make decisions on your next step. Wishing you the best, marketing can be hellish.

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Haytham_Ken@reddit

I'm also in marketing 🙃

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ImTalkingGibberish@reddit

Travel. I burned out and took 6mo to decompress. 3mo recovering and 3mo travelling. Don’t waste time recovering and to travelling somewhere cheap. It really puts life into perspective, perhaps we could be simpler and happier somewhere else and what’s the point of having money if you can’t be happy?

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

Get good sleep, eat decent food, go for walks, get out in nature, find time for your hobbies, see friends. Seek extra help from your GP if needed (whether medicine or referrals to therapy) Yes, it helps

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cazchaos@reddit

I spent the first week or so sleeping and recovering mentally. After that I just tried to listen to what my body and brain needed, caught up with stuff that had taken a back seat and spent some time with friends and family. There's no right or wrong thing to do, just remember that once the month is up that it's okay if you need more time off. Consider looking for other jobs too if it's making you feel this way. Take care of yourself!

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First_Folly@reddit

I've recently been off for a month due to an as of yet unknown ailment. For the first couple of weeks I didn't manage to do much in between sleeping for upwards of 12 hours a day. Other than that I mainly did what I usually do when I'm ill; play the classic Tomb Raider games. I don't have to think too much about it so it's perfect. I've been going through the remasters this time, attempting to get platinum trophies for each game in order. I've only got tr3's new game+ left to do then I can move on to last revelation. Still waiting for the GP to find out what it is but I got restless so I went back on a phased return to work. I can still do most of what's required but I get tired quickly and can't really do much in the way of physical activity but my thinking was it was good to get back and ramp up (it's a very shallow ramp) into full duties. Plus I missed the banter and the bullshitting.

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SodaCanSuperman@reddit

I used the time to assess what I actually wanted to do with my life job wise, and found a new job in that time. Was super useful for me personally, I was so glad to have some time away from that place.

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decentlyfair@reddit

Lego helped me. I was signed off with anxiety and wasn’t sure what to do with myself so I started a set that had been sitting in the corner ignored for 6 months. I found the concentration and following instructions very calming. This also lead to a massive Lego addiction but hey ho

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Defiant_Put_7542@reddit

I've technically not had a 'corporate' job; I have burnt out from jobs that most people can cope fine with. My repeated burnouts were caused by undiagnosed AuDHD and the permenant effects of repeated trauma on my nervous system. I don't personally feel that burnout can be 'recovered' from, in terms of resting for a bit and then going back to the same thing as before. In my personal experience, the nervous system had reached its and radical change is needed. In my personal experience, my capacity never recovered after burnout. Each one caused a decrease in what I could cope with going forward, in terms of stamina, cognition, and ability to deal with stress/pressure/other negative stimuli. ('window of tolerance'). I don't know if it's necessarily the case that having experienced burnout lowers the threshold and predisposes a person to experience it again. This was true for me, but a range of experiences will be helpful here.

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slade364@reddit

Interesting comment around your threshold. I wonder if, if rather than a predisposition, you recognise the sign if being close to emotional exhaustion sooner than the last time. That would artificially lower the threshold whereas it's an earlier recognition rather than a neurological threshold change. Burnout is also a bit of a tricky thing to define. I don't believe it's a medical diagnosis per se, and I think there's some misconceptions around. I suspect depression is a common driver of what people feel as burnout, although i have no empirical data to reinforce this. I take SSRIs. My the 'window of tolerance' before prescription was very falling rapidly, and not specifically linked to work.

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Defiant_Put_7542@reddit

Definitely a threshold change for me personally Being unable to function is being unable to function. There's not really any nuance. It's also not neccessarily the same as depression, though i think the biological vulnerabilities and environmental causes are largely the same. The first two mild depressive epidodes I had were functionally the same as burnout (i was young enough to have no idea about either phenomenon at the time) but later episodes of burnout I have had without any depressive aspect at all. I've also had the most severe kind (psychotic depression) and it really was like nothing else, his on a completely different level. So even when we are using terms like depression, we can still end up talking about completely different things.

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Agitated_Camera_6198@reddit

It did for me. I slept a lot. Walked a bit. Read some books. Mostly I slept. Which in hindsight was definitely ye olde depression talking.

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CrinklyPacket@reddit

It’ll take about a week for it to sink in that you’re actually off work properly. Don’t think ahead to the end (if you can), just focus on what you’re going to do that day, one day at a time. I’ve been signed off work with stress a few times over the last 15 years (for different reasons). It really does help, even just to pull you out of the routine and give yourself a breather - I was crying al the time and having to go back to work over and over just made it worse. Being singed off for a month doesn’t mean you have a month to figure out what’s wrong and fix it - it just means you can breathe and figure out a plan to get there. Best of luck!

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Beth_hell@reddit

Spend the first week relaxing and getting your head straight. Prioritise rest and sleep and eat as clean as you can. Be aware that despite what the company may lead you to believe it will not be the same when you return to work. As horrible and unfair as it is people who get signed off with stress are viewed as fragile and unreliable by the majority of employers. It's probably time to start looking for a new job. Good luck. Remember if your company actually cared about you they would not have let it get to the point where you burnt out.

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Tildatots@reddit (OP)

Yeah I think I will have to start looking for something else, it’s a shame because I don’t want to feel unreliable

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slade364@reddit

It's not the hours that cause stress, it's the environment. If you have the accountability of 3 people, it's too much pressure, and you'll never have enough time to succeed or thrive. I work 50-60 hours a week, but it's not a high stress environment. And a few weeks off isn't going to change the environment unless they pretty quickly hire more people. So, find a new job.

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MaxBulla@reddit

Was in a vaguely similar boat a few years ago, online detox, long walks, good food etc. all that's good for you. Did me the world of good. Best of luck, use any support offered

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IamTory@reddit

I was signed off teaching for three months with depression. It was important and valuable for me because I had some breathing space to figure out why I had been so miserable and how I could take back control. I got on meds to clear the brain fog and increased the frequency of my existing therapy sessions. Not being in work meant I had the head space to start addressing some family of origin issues that fed into my stress and difficulties with teaching culture. And my therapist helped me cut out the noise of others' expectations and figure out what I wanted to do next. I returned to work for a bit, but I did end up leaving teaching. I limped through the summer term and there were positives in it, but not enough could change to make it workable for me. I moved into learning support, where I'm much happier. But I wouldn't have had the confidence to make the leap without the time I spent off work, reconnecting with myself and taking stock. Be prepared for it to take longer than a month, though. Don't go back without a plan to make things different.

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Affectionate-Use8700@reddit

I’ve never been signed off but be sure to document everything generally just in case.

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AnnualLongjumping473@reddit

Can I ask why’s that??? Currently recovering from an operation what feels like being pursued by HR for fit notes, which has now triggered anxiety about job security…. Any advice gladly appreciated

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ElectricalInflation@reddit

I’ve just had 5 weeks off and have another 2 to go. It has helped massively but I haven’t really done much but I don’t feel guilty for resting as I’ve only just started to feel normal again. You will be surprised at how quickly the time goes though.

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maddy273@reddit

One thing that might help is if you are able to do a phased return e.g. mornings only for a couple of weeks after your month off. Being signed off will help as other people will be forced to step up while your away, so things should be easier when you get back. In your time off recommend walks outside, eating good food, reading favourite books

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greenhairdontcare8@reddit

In the past 15 years, I've had to take time off work longer term twice - one for three months after being assaulted by a supervisor maybe 5 years ago, and the second for a month due to health and exhaustion last year. I definitely needed it both times. The first time I slept for about a month while going through the hr investigation, then started therapy, started exercising, spent time with friends. Basically getting myself back up and running to be able to function and work again (this guy was a massive bully so I was a wreck for about a year before this.) I then went back to work on phased return to ease me back in, which made it less scary. The second time I just spent it resting and getting better. Went to the doctors, sleeping, moved in with a friend for a week for company. Didnt do as much this time. Phased return back again when I felt ready. It does help. Your health is most important first and foremost, and running at peak anxiety for extended periods of time is a killer. Take the time to get some rest and clear your body of that stress so you can think clearly.

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Nephilim1818@reddit

I've been off since October, been with the company for 14yrs and everything was getting on top. I'm very lucky to get 2 months at full pay and upto 5yrs at 67% although I've no idea where that number is from. Spent the first 6 weeks doing bugger all apart from baking, reading and not getting stressed about work. I'm now starting a History A level with the idea of potentially doing a History degree. This is for no other reason than I've always wanted to. I've now got a shed load of time to decide what I'm doing with life in general. I appreciate this isn't the norm but life is definitely too short to be spending it grinding yourself into the ground for money if there are other options. I'm 53, wish I'd done it sooner.

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ND8586@reddit

Well you should be able to get a bit of decent sleep now and some rest, which will help you out massively. And in the meantime your employer is going to have to cover three people's work instead of one, so, when you go back (if you go back) then you should hopefully be going back to one job instead of three.

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DaisyRedado@reddit

It genuinely will help, and it will also help you gain perspective. If you died, they'd advertise your job before your loved ones have even said their goodbyes. So yes, work hard...but not above and beyond because honestly it gets you nowhere, and it's never truly appropriated. Spend some time to focus on just you, not "being your best you" blah blah. Just do whatever the hell you want. Lounge around doing nothing, or for a cuppa in a cafe and people watch, or binge an entire boxset in 2 days. Just learn to switch off and simply... be. I do hope you feel better soon x

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Hannah-may@reddit

If you’re standing under a hose of mud and you can’t take a breath let alone thinking about getting clean or fixing the pipes. So stepping away whilst you clean up and regroup will help you solve the problem. Also worked in marketing - it’s constant feels huge yet pointless all at the same time. The best advice I can give is lower your standards, don’t go above and beyond. Do what you can in the hours given. Use the phrase “not my circus, not my monkey” - don’t take up anything that’s not your job even if you know it’s going to be a shitstorm later. Done is better than perfect. Good enough is usually better than you think it is. Try not to do work based on feelings, become as detached as possible.

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dbxp@reddit

Take some time to sleep first, not just a lie in, a few days of doing very little The. try to get out the house, go for a walk, read a book, generally live slow When you get back to work segment your work more. Set a reasonable target to hit by lunch and ignore everything else, do the same in the afternoon. Everything over your half day capacity isn't your concern and will sit in the queue.

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roxieh@reddit

It gives you the time and space to decide how to do things differently for the future. You can't go back to work and do the same things that ended up here. Have boundaries. Say no. Push back against unreasonable requests. Stuff like that. You say you don't know what will change but it has to be you.

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random_username_96@reddit

Yes, but only if you actively address what led you to needing time off in the first place. Sounds like you are overworking to hell, so a big thing to do on returning will be to set firmer boundaries on breaks/hours and workload. You NEED to do this, or you're right, things will just get worse again. While off, let yourself rest as much as possible. Don't feel guilty about sleeping in, having lazy days - you need it! I'd also try adding in some mindfulness techniques - have a google and see what you reckon will work best for you - and some general self care/healthy things; walks in nature, reduce the doomscrollijg, etc.

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Maleficent_Car9682@reddit

I did not much, aside from think of suicide and be depressed. Looking back on it, I wish I had been productive but my mind was wrecked due to the opposite of your problem... a job and life that was unfulfilling, and a boss who was a bully. What helped was having the leverage of going back to work and being able to get what I wanted because I was sick, which I was previously denied - a different job, a different boss etc. My advice, stay healthy, enjoy yourself (as much as possible). Go back with an open mind, and know you have been missed and you are valuable.

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treeseacar@reddit

In slightly similar position I got signed off after the amount of pressure due to under resourcing my area meant I had too much to do and no reasonable way to achieve it successfully. Knowing I didn't have to go back and deal with it for a few weeks allowed me time to deal with the situation. I spent my time trying to keep a routine and keep active. The key is to establish a plan for your return so you don't go back to the same situation. Establish some clear boundaries and work out what is achievable in your contracted hours and what you should be responsible for and what is not your responsibility. Your employer should help with this. If they won't, I'd also use the time to look for another job.

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bahumat42@reddit

It solves the immediate stress issue of whatever is making you work 50 hour weeks. But honestly, use the time to get a different job. I know you say you love it but your brief description is not one I would associate with a good job to work.

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Amarita_Sen@reddit

If work won't change how much grind you have, suggest looking for another job. You prolly won't relax if you know you're going back into the thick of it in a month. If they will, then you need to remember how to relax. Do nothing; get bored.

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Traditional-Bug7136@reddit

Gardening or smoking dope

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randomly555@reddit

How did you find it?

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