How is physical discipline of children viewed and regulated in the United States?
Posted by NoContext9453@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 361 comments
First, I wanna explain why I asked this question. You can skip this straight ahead if not interested
I’m from India, where physical discipline of children is extremely common and probably across much of Asia. Growing up, being beaten by parents or teachers was normal. I was hit repeatedly as a child for being “naughty” or even for crying. I’ve seen 4 year old children beaten brutally with a stick for something like drawing on walls. In schools, we were punished by getting beaten with sticks and yes it hurt a lot.
What I am trying to say is that this is the norm. This question might look stupid to you but it's not from my perspective. I wanted to get some insight from a developed country. I'll post my additional questions in the comments
HighOnLove26@reddit
Btw, if you are an adult, you can do a lot to stop or at least reduce this. You can confront the people in your family or friend circle who beat their kids. You can do this publicly or on social media, too. If they still don't listen, then you can cut off all contact with them. You don't have to be around someone whose behavior offends you.
HighOnLove26@reddit
It totally depends on what part of the US you are asking about. In southern states, it's very common. In places like New York or California, it's unheard of.
rustystumpty@reddit
Unbeaten children become horrific adults
fleetiebelle@reddit
People used to get paddled at school and spanked at home more regularly, but in 2025, if any teacher laid hands on a child they would get fired.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Except corporal punishment is still legal in quite a lot of states
Dank-Retard@reddit
Yeah but almost no one actually acts on it. It would require both the teacher and the parents to be willing and able for it to happen.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Which i wouldn't be surprised at how many parents are willing
On_my_last_spoon@reddit
These days? No. Teachers are in such a tenuous position even if they are in a state that makes it legal I very much doubt it’s common at all. And even if the child is hit at home I somehow doubt they’d be happy with it happening at school
Level-Contract163@reddit
Common is a subjective measure. Not rare, let's say. Widespread. No.
At least daily in Florida in 2023-24 (500 times according to one report). Which means twice a day on school days.
Of the 824 incidents of corporal punishment in the north central Florida county between August 2018 and May 2022, 84% were attributed to minor infractions including the use of inappropriate language, disrupting the classroom environment and inappropriate use of electronic devices. Fewer than 13% of incidents were initiated after a student hit a classmate.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Well I did say I wouldn't be surprised how many **parents** are willing to have their kids spanked at school. Nothing about teachers.
QuietObserver75@reddit
I mean, you have people in the current presidential administration advocating for beating kids in school so I don't know why you'd get downvoted.
Quirky-Bad857@reddit
DeSantis reintroduced corporal punishment in FL public schools because of course he did.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
I had like 5 downvotes before this lol. Guess people started upvoting.
QuietObserver75@reddit
LOL lot of people don't like being confronted with facts.
Otherwisefantastic@reddit
It's not far fetched at all. Although things are better, a lot of people still hit their kids where I live.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
I had a few downvotes before my edit.
Dank-Retard@reddit
Many parents are, but the vast majority of teachers won't even if the parents are willing.
BenjaminGeiger@reddit
During my childhood (late 80s through mid 90s), corporal punishment was exclusively the domain of school administrators, not teachers. Generally it was the principal himself who did it, and yes, it did require the parent's consent (which my parents gave with no hesitation).
Shop-S-Marts@reddit
This is what happened to me as well. The principal would call my parents, tell them I was going to get disciplined and give them the opportunity to do it in front of him in his office. My mom did it one time, and he said it wasn't good enough and that she needed to be shown as well. So I got a second ass beating from the principal
Jolly-Bowler-811@reddit
I gotta wonder... my parents specifically did not consent when the form came home.
But they gladly whooped my ass when I got home. I wonder on balance, which was / would have been worse.
Wireman332@reddit
For sure some of us got the swat at school and the ass beating at home.
PomPomMom93@reddit
“If anyone’s gonna physically abuse my child, it’s gonna be me!”
BenjaminGeiger@reddit
I had three bullies who would work together. Two of them would beat the shit out of me and the third would claim that I started the fight.
Then I'd get punished by the school (usually detention, sometimes corporal punishment).
Then I'd go home and get spanked by my stepdad.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Ugh, I'm so sorry
TychaBrahe@reddit
During Covid, my daughter and her family went to live with her in-laws, because they lived in semi rural Tennessee, which she felt would be a better place to pass the pandemic with two young kids than a second floor walk up apartment in the middle of the city.
The next year, when schools reopened, she sent them off to the local public school. On the first day she was presented with paperwork asking if she wanted to revoke permission for the school to use corporal punishment against her children.
ForestOranges@reddit
This school year, 2025-2026, is the first year Florida parents have to consent for corporal punishment. The law requiring parental came into effect on July 1, 2025. Just a couple years ago an 18 year old girl was paddled my a male vice principal who was also a former MLB player.
https://www.the74million.org/article/florida-students-seize-on-parental-rights-to-stop-educators-from-hitting-kids/
Realtrain@reddit
And the school board.
Interesting-Fish6065@reddit
They sure “act on it” where a I grew up.
messibessi22@reddit
What states? Thats insane in this day and age
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
These ones
messibessi22@reddit
Eww that’s so gross
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Definitely 🫠
WormVoid@reddit
Yeah I got paddled in high school, and I graduated in 2011. I don’t think parental permission was required at that age (I only moved here in HS), but it wasn’t an obligatory punishment; we had to choose it willingly. The options I was given for being late to class too many times were three days of in school suspension or three hits from the vice principal with a wooden paddle.
Last I knew they were still doing it, by none of the kids in my life still go to school in that district so that information is about seven years out of date.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Jesus what?? That's fucking horrible. I left school in 2010, but I would have graduated in 2012 if I had stayed. I guess that is a better option, idk, I probably would've picked that too lmaoooo.
MyUsername2459@reddit
In Kentucky they banned it 40 years ago. . .then legalized it a few years after that with the explicit restriction that they had to have signed permission from the parents beforehand to do so.
No-Conversation1940@reddit
A couple of years ago, one of the school board members in Springfield, MO voted against corporal punishment because "I could never hit someone else's kid" and after nearly 30 years of living in the Ozarks, this is the best example of Ozarks logic I can give.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Yep, that's usually how it goes, unfortunately :/
Major-Assumption539@reddit
I went to school in a “legal” state and my district made it clear that in spite of it being legal they still had it off limits per policy. I have to imagine it’s primarily a liability/public relations thing
achaedia@reddit
Yes this. I live in a state where it’s technically legal but every district has it forbidden by school board policy.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Thanks for the insight!
Wireman332@reddit
I lived through that in elementary and middle school. I would never allow a teacher or outsider to lay their hands on my children. You got issues call me.
FishingWorth3068@reddit
When I was in middle school a couple of us got in trouble for a food fight. They called all our parents and the choice was paddle or 3 days of ISS. Most of the parents chose paddle so they could just be done with it. My mom chose ISS and dealt with me at home (not by hitting me). Never got passed how all those parents just chose to let some man hit their children with a piece of wood rather than parent
Wireman332@reddit
Right. Thanks mom.
shelwood46@reddit
When my cousins were in grade school, their father (my uncle) had a job that made him move to various states for 2 years at a time. My aunt was fine with this until they had to spend 2 years on West Virginia, which allowed corporal punishment in schools. My cousin got spanked once, and my aunt put her foot down, they moved back to Wisconsin and never left.
ForestOranges@reddit
This is false. This is a STATE law issue. I live in the South. Kids in my state can still be paddled although it’s mainly only used in rural schools. It’s banned in my local school district but other districts in the state have used it.
PomPomMom93@reddit
As it should be!
KevrobLurker@reddit
Some probably were, if you mean neurodivergent. Others just misbehaved. No idea of the percentages.
KevrobLurker@reddit
This is true in many states. Most states allow corporal punishment in private schools, and in some states, in public (government) schools. See:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_corporal_punishment_in_the_United_States
The various states have more or less strict rules against parents or guardians using corporal punishment in children in their care, but some level is legal in all 50 states.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment_of_children_in_the_United_States
There are laws against child abuse, however. Beating with sticks or cords would cross the line.
mustang6172@reddit
That's all well and good for 2025, but what of whatever year this is?
hisamsmith@reddit
In my state of Indiana paddling is still legal. Some school districts don’t allow it and most that do require parental permission and the parent sits in on the paddling so they cannot sue.
t-poke@reddit
Talking out of turn, that's a paddlin’. Looking out the window, that's a paddlin’. Staring at my sandals, that's a paddlin’. Paddlin’ the school canoe, you better believe that’s a paddlin’.
Mental-Paramedic9790@reddit
Actually, there are states where corporal punishment is perfectly fine in the schools.
t-poke@reddit
Still technically legal doesn’t mean it’s practiced or not against district policy.
Abi1i@reddit
Actually the teacher wouldn’t be fired. A lot of states allow corporal punishment. All the school needs to do is request permission from the parent. A school district could make it as easy as asking for permission when a student enrolls for school in the district.
Far_Silver@reddit
Even in states where it's not considered criminal battery, it goes against school policy in most districts. Also, most states where it is considered a crime, criminalized it after it fell into widespread disuse.
Abi1i@reddit
You seem to have missed the rest of my comment where I state that permission is needed. If permission is granted then the teacher wouldn’t be fired. It’s a completely different story if corporal punishment is administered without permission.
Realtrain@reddit
It doesn't matter if the parent gives permission if the school administration still bans it.
HeyPurityItsMeAgain@reddit
You take a step toward a child as a teacher and you're disciplined. The school would never ask the parent for permission. Everyone in this thread is arguing theoretically how it maybe could still happen but the fact is -- IT DOESN'T.
Lazy_Fuel8077@reddit
Depends on the state for paddling at school! I am from New England but lived in the south briefly and worked at a school down there and paddling was allowed. Parents had to sign something at the beginning of the school year allowing it and only the principal or vice principal were allowed to and it required a witness, female witness if it was a female student.
I agree overall popularity of physical punishments has thankfully decreased. But again is also dependent on the state. While in the south I also briefly worked with cps and will never forget the time a parent whipped their child with a phone charger cord and I was told that unless there were other signs or instances of abuse my only job was to educate mom on what is acceptable for physical punishments (open hand, on the butt or somewhere equally padded to prevent bruising). This was only like 5-6 years ago.
Synaps4@reddit
I think the thing to remember is not that the parent hurt their child. Terrible parents will always exist.
The salient point to me instead is that the state sent someone out to talk to her 1:1 and would have taken her child if it had been more than once.
To me that says we live in a place wheee its very rare and we take it very seriously.
Lazy_Fuel8077@reddit
I’m not saying the kid should have been taken at all! That’s not the right move in most cases. But I think it should’ve been more work with the family, ensuring changes are actually being made, recommending resources that can help with learning how to parent behavioral challenges. It literally was I chat with mom, close the case, and move on. Hoping that if it does happen again the kid will report it to the teacher again. I just feel like there could have been more support offered to prevent it happening again vs just one convo and done. Even if it had only been keeping open for like 30 days or whatever period of time to check in with mom.
I think with those kind of situations it’s parents lack of knowledge on how to discipline that leads to those reactions and if we just provided more support it wouldn’t get to that point. I would’ve liked the case to stay open for support for mom not as a punitive action with CPS looming over your family.
In my current state, families can actually choose to be open to one unit in CPS and that units whole purpose is to provide support, education, and resources to families facing challenging behaviors to prevent an out of home placement. I think a model like that would’ve been more helpful in the situation I’m talking about because all I did was tell her what not to do, I wasn’t a parent at the time so had no good recommendations on how to discipline just what not to do.
myOEburner@reddit
Spanking is common and is generally accepted.
Beating a child with an object, or striking them anywhere but their rear, is much less common and generally unacceptable.
pickledplumber@reddit
Unfortunately it has a negative view. Lots of people especially here on Reddit Wells equate any type of discipline with children being pummeled by their parents. But there are differences between a spanking when a child does wrong and apparent punching the child in the face
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
Hey, do me a favor. Look up: "Is physical discipline effective" and read some of the first articles.
pickledplumber@reddit
No
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
Cool, so you're just plugging your ears and going "lalalalalal". Got it.
pickledplumber@reddit
I've read the studies. It doesn't mean I agree with them.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
You can't just not agree with scientific fact because it doesn't suit your narrative.
pickledplumber@reddit
Of course you can. Science doesn't mean fact. There are biases in science and agendas to be pushed.
If interested take a peak at the book " The impact of science on society" by Bertrand Russell.
I'm sure even a progressive mind such as yourself can imagine situations where science can be used to fuel bad things.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
What agenda is being pushed in this case?
When something has been repeated a myriad of times, and has the same fucking result every time, it is literally the second closest thing to fact. Naturally, people are varied, so not every child will be messed up by it, but I could count the children benefited by being wailed on on one hand. Obviously science can be used for bad things, like the people in the 40's who "proved" that Aryans were the superior race.
But that's the thing, those studies were disproven. The evidence that physical punishment only has negative or no effects has only been further reinforced. You have to either be a special kind of stupid, or a special breed of willfully ignorant to rely on conspiracy theories rather than reconsider your beliefs.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Not all discipline is physical.
mickeyanonymousse@reddit
viewed? this depends how the child behaves. if someone has a well behaved child and people find out they spank their kid, they will view the parents negatively and see them as abusing the child. if the kid is badly behaved and people find out the parents don’t spank the kid they will say “see that’s why the kid acts like that”. in general people have a line between whooping/ spanking and beating, whooping and spanking a child is mildly controversial but beating is illegal.
regulated? I think if kids have marks from being hit it will automatically trigger a lot of investigations and possibly the parents will lose custody of the child and face criminal charges of abuse. pretty sure you are legally allowed to use physical punishment on a child in my state.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
Why do people so fervently defend corporal punishment when there's so much evidence it does nothing good and damages your kids.
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
I got spanked as a kid a pretty solid amount. It worked every time. It was the only punishment where I was like “yea I don’t want this to happen again” and would make me completely stop.
There’s a fine line. Beating a child with a stick isn’t the same as a firm hand smack on the bottom.
Captain_A@reddit
I mean, if it happened regularly, did it work though?
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
I said “a pretty solid amount,” not “regularly.” Happened maybe 10 times all for different things.
It absolutely worked. It stopped working when my mom would be the one to do it, but then she’d say “do I have to go get your father?” and then I’d become a perfect angel.
Actually have an insanely good relationship with both parents today too. I live 5 minutes from them, and see them all the time. My Dad is basically a good friend.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Doesn’t matter, hitting is never okay.
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
Lol. Shut up.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
That's not a counterargument.
Silver_Scarcity5285@reddit
Yeah, I've seen it "work" for a lot of people. They learned at a young age not to get caught doing something wrong.
They learned to be sneaky, not good.
PomPomMom93@reddit
They also learned to be scared. And according to some wackos, that’s a good thing.
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
It definitely made me better behaved. I was never good at lying or hiding what I was doing.
Aprils-Fool@reddit
Thankfully, though, we know about better options now.
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
Sure. It was never a negative on my life though. I guess not everyone is the same though.
Aprils-Fool@reddit
What kind of person would be willing to take that risk?
alcarcalimo1950@reddit
It absolutely did not work on me. It actually made me more defiant I think. I remember thinking to myself “I will not cry” and I never did. I never showed any reaction to it, once I got to an age where I could actually think like that.
Hammer_of_Shawn@reddit
It absolutely worked for me, haha.
rewt127@reddit
For the US writ large:
A teacher striking a student is pretty much a no-go. Some states technically still allow it. But its basically not kosher in any public school in the nation.
At home becomes regional and cultural:
Some places use 0 physical punishment. While this can work. Most people who do this style of parenting aren't very good at it. And they raise little monsters. Where I live using the hand on the ass (spanking) and using a belt on the ass are both seen as acceptable punishment. With the belt being reserved for extreme cases. Using a switch, cane, etc. Is fairly universally considered wrong. There are some areas that dont see it as wrong, but those are an extreme minority.
TLDR: A non-family member striking a child is pretty universally viewed as wrong. Using a switch or cane is pretty universally viewed as wrong. A direct family member using their hand or a belt on the hind end of a child is regionally acceptable.
NoActionAtThisTime@reddit
I don't have kids. If I did have them I would try to never use corporal punishment but I don't judge parents who do it on rare occasions. I have noticed that the people who are the most vocally anti-spanking under all circumstances are often super-permissive millennial parents who do an absolutely awful job of raising their children.
Katyafan@reddit
Found the abuser.
NoActionAtThisTime@reddit
Lol, I don't even have kids. I can just recognize how pathetic it is when spineless gentle parenting type are negotiating with an 8-year old in the supermarket. Learn to lay down the law.
Katyafan@reddit
Are you aware that that can be done without hitting them? Real parents and childcare workers do that all the time, in fact.
rewt127@reddit
Ive met kids with their parents that never strike their kids.
One, fucking one, wasn't a massive shithead. 99% of people who raise children without ever using physical punishment raise monsters. Children who misbehave, are a menace to everyone around them, and have 0 discipline.
Oh im sure if you are a childcare worker, deal with kids all the time and have actual professional training you can achieve the same results as limited, strategic use of physical punishment. But most parents dont have this training and wont ever get it.
Striking for every little thing is abuse. But strategic use of physical punishment can create solid guard rails that lead to a positive growth in the behavior of a child. Hell I was spanked... 4 times? Total? I had to really get out of line. But it set those guardrails. And 100%, without the physical punishment I would have been a fucking menace. Non-physical punishment basically didnt work with me. I was rarely punished, I was told that my behavior was getting near the line for punishment and I changed my behavior. It was the threat of force that brought me in line. If the threat was never made good on. I would have never stopped pushing the line.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
Ah yes, because there can be literally no other reason for a child to misbehave other than "their parents didn't beat them".
Hey, genius, almost every single pediatrician on Earth would tell you physical discipline has nothing but negative effects. There are reasons besides not recirving abuse that kids are shitheads.
Katyafan@reddit
The plural of anecdote is not data.
rewt127@reddit
And physical punishment is not abuse.
Katyafan@reddit
Hurting a child on purpose is abuse.
I can't just go hit you because you didn't do what I told you to. Why don't children have the same protection?
rewt127@reddit
Incorrect. To let a child run rampant and not provide meaningful guardrails is abuse. Of which is the result for the vast majority of parents who do not use physical punishment.
Because I am not only an adult, but also not part of your household.
Because we have different laws for children writ large. I am allowed to drink, smoke, drive, and do any number of things a child isnt. Also my parents aren't legally allowed to harm me physically anymore because im an adult.
Children are not adults and any argument that attempts to draw comparisons its nature fallacious.
Im so glad I dont have to interact with your children. They are probably fucking awful.
Katyafan@reddit
I don't engage with abusers, good bye.
NoActionAtThisTime@reddit
Sure. As I said, if I had children I would try never to use corporal punishment. I just find it hard to take the super-vocal anti-spanking crowd seriously when they often have horribly behaved children.
Katyafan@reddit
Does the research back that up, though?
mickeyanonymousse@reddit
my parents are and have always been anti-spanking however there are certain situations that it simply is the necessary option. I would never use spanking as a first line tool but if it’s needed, it’s needed.
Katyafan@reddit
When it is necessary to hit a fucking child? You are a horrible person to think that is okay.
BuildNuyTheUrbanGuy@reddit
I was regularly beaten for bad grades. Always with a leather belt my mom kept. This was mostly the 90s into the 2000s. Its much less common now.
Im also black and from the south so its more common than say a white family from a nice part of Boston.
LocalBirrinFan@reddit
I'm so sorry to hear that.
KevrobLurker@reddit
I came from an Irish-descended, Catholic family in the Northeast, growing up in the '60s & '70s. Getting spanked, if not actually beaten, was not unusual. My Dad was 1st generation. Maybe less physical violence among old-money WASPs.
SufficientStudio1574@reddit
Probably going to vary wildly by region, but in general it's much more frowned on now than in the past. Most places it would be completely unacceptable for no family to strike a child (like a teacher or day care worker), but most people probably wouldn't care too much about a parent doing a spanking.
That's assuming it stays within the limits of discipline and doesn't cross the line into abuse. Nobody's going to care much about a few smacks on the behind, but something that actually injures the child (like leaving bruises) might get someone to call Child Protective Services to check on the kid.
DentistPitiful5454@reddit
With how violent kids have become if a teacher spanked a student they'd be the first to get shot
WillThereBeSnacks13@reddit
It can vary by region, some states have laws protecting children and some are still stuck in the dark ages. Beating your family is generally illegal, but it may not be punished in some places. In high control religious groups it is more common. Among educated people and in more populous urban areas it is increasingly considered to be abusive, cowardly and low class to hit kids. Especially in public. The more rural areas or places that don't value schools or children particularly much, or again where there are a lot of strict religious people..they allow teachers to still hit kids. It is definitely much less acceptable than in India overall and becomes less acceptable by the year. Most western anglophone countries have laws requiring teachers to report if kids seem to be getting hit at home. In extreme cases kids are taken from their families for abuse and put into government care. Personally if I see someone hit their kids I think it is trashy and gross, but I am in a large city with a white collar job. We do not have good children's rights laws like in the EU but I hope one day it is possible.
vermonter432@reddit
Generally frowned upon (even for parents to do to their own kids). My dad, who is 81, grew up getting his knuckles hit by nuns at catholic school and maybe an occasional hit by his father, but those days are (largely) over (thank god).
DawaLhamo@reddit
The last kid to get paddled in my school was in my first grade class in 1989.
The view that it is outdated, ineffective, and cruel is much more common now than it was 40 years ago.
But there's still a lot of people who spank their children. MUCH fewer schools do it ...but parents? Yes, many still do.
A lot of folks are of the mind "if it was good enough for me, it's good enough for my kids".
Katyafan@reddit
Translation: "My parents got to hit kids, I want to hit kids too."
Trinx_@reddit
"See, I turned out just fine!" Bro, you are anything but /just fine/.
Katyafan@reddit
I always say, "you didn't turn out fine, you turned out to be someone who is so short tempered and lacking imagination and child rearing skills that you hit children."
Trinx_@reddit
My mom did developmental psychology and forbade her parents from using it on us like they used on their kids. This was in the 80s, so it was progressive at the time. Most of society is catching up, but there are communities still holding out. But I've never heard of anyone using a stick like that. My boyfriend still experienced it with nuns using a ruler at church as a kid in the 90s. Whenever we're around religious stuff, he says his knuckles start hurting again. Neither of us would ever allow it for our theoretical children as a nurse (me) and aspiring social worker (him).
Ironically, it is part of our sex lives, so we do have a paddle, but it's for funishment. So that's just an added layer. If it's sexual, that makes it even worse to do with kids.
Leaf-Stars@reddit
I spanked my kids. Probably less than ten times total for all four kids combined.
CoachOpen1977@reddit
It’s illegal in our public schools but legal for private schools.
My personal policy as a kid that I never had to enact was that if any teacher or administrator laid a hand on me they would be eating the business end of my chair. I would have been more than happy to get expelled from school and as a minor, legally I’d have gotten off with a “slap on the wrist”. My parents would have made my life hell with restrictions and lost privileges, but it would have been worth it. I hated school and by extension I also hated most of the faculty.
As an adult I am staunchly against corporal punishment and imo it should be illegal across the board. My parents hit me occasionally until my teens when I reached my full grown size of 6’2” and 220 lbs (bigger than my dad) and my dad chose to put hands on me one night and I stepped right up to him. For context I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, and I have a good loving relationship with my parents.
New-Number-7810@reddit
In the US, hitting children with a stick or a closed fist is consider child abuse and is illegal in most states. Unless you live in a rural town where “everybody knows everybody”, the police will arrest you for hitting your kid with a stick, and CPS will probably require you to take parenting courses.
However, spanking - hitting on the rear with an open hand - is seen as a different category. It’s not legally considered child abuse, and won’t result in arrests on its own. It’s falling out of favor because the scientific consensus here is that it doesn’t work and is harmful, but even people who disapprove won’t call it abuse or claim that they were abused as children for being spanked.
North_Artichoke_6721@reddit
It depends on the state (for the schools) and the culture of that area (for the home).
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
So it's safe to say that it's still happening in some parts of country?
Gunther482@reddit
Spanking by parents? Absolutely. Probably more common in rural areas and among some different groups. It is definitely looked down upon more nowadays than it was 25 years ago when I was a kid.
Corporal Punishment by teachers is extremely rare nowadays and in my state has been completely illegal since the 80’s.
socabella@reddit
Yes
Mental_Freedom_1648@reddit
Corporal punishment is legal in every state for parents and in some states it's legal at school. The kind of things you're describing would be considered unacceptable by most people, though. I think even the majority of people who support hitting kids would find your examples abusive.
joshbudde@reddit
There's also a huge gulf between 'discipline' and 'abuse'. Lots of parents I know are convinced if they give their kid a swat on the bottom that the state is going to come and take their kids away. Those people are so divorced from reality that it's almost sad--the state child welfare people see REAL abuse on the regular. And the state almost always prefers to put the children back with the parents if they promise to not do it again because the foster system is known to be worse. Basically if you're not starving the children (on purpose) or putting cigarettes out on them, you'll be able to get your kids back.
Think_Profession2098@reddit
So answer for ur state and culture, that's the fun of this sub and why states have flairs
Free-Resident5106@reddit
I was spanked pretty often as a child, but my mother told the school that if they wanted to paddle me in the 80s that they needed to call her to come up and do it. Apparently, that was enough of a deterrent that they never did.I got in trouble a lot for talking in class. Lol, diagnosed autistic at 30 and ADHD at 40yo. I still talk too much. For the most part local schools have not continued paddling or any kind of corporal punishment, however, Oklahoma did just pass a law allowing disabled kids to be physically punished. Yay, Oklahoma.
kati8303@reddit
I think the opinion on this is going to vary widely by region, class, education, and age range. I was spanked (beaten in several instances) growing up. I would say my sister was spanked but never beaten. I don’t agree with it (I do not have children) and I know my sister doesn’t either (she does have children).
lfxlPassionz@reddit
I'm glad to hear you don't believe it. I helped with a lot of kids in my life and it always does harm and no good. Those who didn't get hit, were almost always the best kids.
I see it as selfish parenting. It's easy and it makes the child fear you so in front of you, they hide their behavior but they don't learn anything of value.
ForestOranges@reddit
Honestly it was all over the place in my experience. Some of the best and worst behaved kids I knew all came from “no hitting” households.
lfxlPassionz@reddit
Well no hitting or no parenting. I put them in different categories. No parenting households do have kids that behave badly but that's because the parents didn't teach them anything.
No hitting households that still teach the kids, those kids act great
No-Present760@reddit
Yeah, my husband was beaten constantly for everything. He spent the first few years of his adult life addicted to the hard stuff. It's still extremely hard for him to trust anyone, and he puts on a tough persona so no one can hurt him. He's actually very sensitive but brushes everything off. He was taught to live through pain, and it shows. Sadly, I think a lot of boomer parents beat their kids because they thought that was normal. And they wonder why many of us are messed up..
lfxlPassionz@reddit
I found it so mind boggling how when I was growing up it was so normalized. Almost everyone did it. I didn't understand.
I will never fully understand it. I really don't understand not questioning it. I don't understand the "that's how it's done" mindset. It's so illogical to me.
My husband also has struggles from this. Some of the smallest things he struggles with because if he didn't do it to his father's fucked up standards, he was hit. Even his handwriting. I asked him to address an envelope and I had no idea it would be traumatic for me to watch him write it while I was asking something else next to him and ask why it took him awhile.
His mom would ask his father to get something done then walk away to get her own stuff done or to go to work. Then instead of doing the chore himself, his father forced the kids to do it, criticized everything and hit them for not doing it his way when he never told them how to do it.
Ironically, my father was still worse but in different ways.
PlayingDoomOnAGPS@reddit
This sub needs an automod rule to automatically sticky this on all questions like this.
NemeanMiniLion@reddit
Physical abuse does gain power or control over the person however it fails to address the core goal, creating an honest, trusting, empathetic person. Feel free to tweak the end of my last sentence to your preference but you get the idea.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
Absolutely. Physical abuse even at a small amount is not okay. It doesn't help the child. Tbh it looks like it's more prevalent in the US than I thought.
ForestOranges@reddit
I imagine you’d get different answers in r/AskEurope or maybe even r/AskACanadian
Realtrain@reddit
Some people unfortunately view this as a position.
Ficsit-Incorporated@reddit
Physical discipline of children was pretty common in the US up until 25 years ago, give or take. It has gotten much less common since. I’m sure it still happens in some communities and localities, but mostly out of sight as it’s not really socially acceptable anymore. It’s rarely public and never sanctioned by the authorities (teachers, police; etc). You’d almost never see a parent spanking their child in public, for example.
It’s partly generational. I was spanked as a child when I misbehaved. I’m not traumatized by it or anything, but I can’t imagine I’d ever spank my own child if I had one.
Jolly-Bowler-811@reddit
I was spanked pretty often as a kid. I don't really harbor any long term trauma over it. My parents weren't shy about it, but it never approached abuse.
As a parent, we initially used it but found it a) completely counter productive and b) just made ME feel shitty. So we ended that almost immediately.
I don't understand how my parents were so chill about it for my whole childhood.
Ficsit-Incorporated@reddit
My parents never laid a finger on me that wasn’t deserved. Everyone acts like a little shit now and then growing up, and I was no exception. But overwhelmingly it’s harmful to the parent, their relationship with the child, and most importantly the development of the child into a well-adjusted adult. My psyche was mostly unscathed because my parents were otherwise loving and encouraging and cared about me and my siblings. Many kids who are physically disciplined aren’t so lucky.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Meaning they never laid a finger on you at all, right? Because no kid ever deserves that.
Ficsit-Incorporated@reddit
I mean, point well taken. I don’t mean to excuse physical discipline in any form. My only contention is that I got lucky; no child deserves to be struck no matter how ill-behaved. My parents didn’t have any vitriol behind it when they spanked us but that doesn’t make the practice any less problematic on a broader level.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Any physical punishment is abuse. It’s great that you aren’t traumatized, but that doesn’t mean it’s not abuse.
PlayingDoomOnAGPS@reddit
In hindsight, "this hurts me more than it hurts you" makes a lot more sense in hindsight. I tried spanking my my kid, in consultation with the school and a child psychologist, and it may or may not have worked in time, but I wasn't able to endure it.
neoslith@reddit
My brother and I got spanked for misbehaving (born '88 and '91).
I remember one time we were whispering to each other during Friday night services for Shabbot and my dad said to me very angrily:
"If you don't stop, I'm going to spank you so hard they'll have to call a fire engine." I was maybe four.
I'm 35 now and still remember that.
2GreenTreeFrogs@reddit
Viewed very badly, like in schools sounds crazy to me because if a teacher ever physically disciplined a student they would be fired, some people will physically discipline their kids at home, but lots of people view that as abuse and sometimes the parents will get reported to CPS (Child Protective Services)
crispier_creme@reddit
Depends. Older generations tend to view it almost positively. However, modernly, most people see it negatively, and it's certainly not allowed in schools. If anyone except the parent of a child hit a kid, it wouldn't end well for them.
Elivagara@reddit
I'm 43. Physical discipline isn't so much a thing anymore, but it sure as fuck was when I was growing up. Cracking slaps across the face if I was mouthy. Wooden spoon across the knuckles. The shitty private school I went to had permission slips to be able to hit the kids, weapon of choice being a ruler on the hands or a spanking by which ever teacher could hit hardest. They once beat one of my class mates when we were 14 because he was smiling and the teacher took offense. Broke the skin on his hand.
InfluenceTrue4121@reddit
I get a sense that physical punishment happens in blue collar homes. I don’t know of any well educated adults who hit their kids.
FormerlyDK@reddit
It’s abuse, and it’s viewed as abuse. If I went out and punched an adult, I’d probably be charged with assault. It should be no different for assaulting a child… it’s so much worse.
acme_oo_breeders@reddit
Some states have laws guaranteeing parents the "right" to spank their kids. Schools can do it in some states (like Texas, Florida, Georgia and Arizona, but not Massachusetts, Nevada, New Mexico, New York, or California, where I am). Spanking other people's kids outside school seems to be a big no-no. I heard of a case where a store clerk in Georgia (where parents can spank their kids) took it upon herself to spank a kid who was acting up in her store. She was arrested, charged with assault, and fired and had to go into hiding because people were sending her hate messages and death threats.
Crazycatlover@reddit
It's changed a lot recently. My mother was beaten with a ruler by nuns at school 50 years ago. Most of my generation is opposed to spanking.
WhichSpirit@reddit
My state, New Jersey, banned corporal punishment in schools in 1867. That's not a typo. It took 104 years for the next state, Massachusetts, to follow our example.
Here, if a parent beats their kid in the manner you've described and the state finds out about it, the child will be removed from that home and the parents are likely to be charged with child abuse. Once removed from the home, the children are placed with foster families who will take care of them until they can be reunited with their family or they turn 18.
messibessi22@reddit
Very frowned upon. Parents occasionally spank their children altho that as a practice seems to be dying. Any more than that (if people are made aware) CPS would be likely be involved. And if any teacher practiced any form of physical punishment there would be major consequences
KillBologna@reddit
When I was in high school in the late 90s and early 2000s, catholic private schools were still allowed to hit you with rulers on the wrist. Even then, I thought it was crazy for NY. But yeah Notheast US didn’t hit kids in schools when i was a teen.
KevrobLurker@reddit
NY has since outlawed corporal punishment in private schools. I was long graduated.
bigcheez69420@reddit
This varies WILDLY depending on cultural background, region, age and a whole bunch of other factors. In the 90s and early 00s my brother and I got whooped and me and some of my friends would know what “go get a switch/the spoon/a belt” means, while some of my other friends would be very confused hearing that. I would never strike a child and I don’t know anyone (both whooped and unwhooped as children) who would now, but they’re out there obviously.
I know it’s basically looked down upon by professionals, but that hasn’t really stopped people who wanna do it from doing it. I think it’s a lot more common in other parts of the country too. I live in a pretty “progressive” place.
KevrobLurker@reddit
Getting hit with a brush was another weapon. We sometimes had those small paddles with a ball attached by an elastic string, about the size of a table tennis paddle. When the elastic snapped, my Mom would confiscate those. They became paddles for "discipline". We learned to throw those away when they broke, ASAP.
Daisy_MeScrolling@reddit
In the 80s and 90s a swat on the bottom by a parent was viewed by most people in my area as acceptable for children until a certain age. My friend said her dad spanked her once when we were like 12, and that was unusual bc she was too old to spank (according to the norms of our culture, grounding was seen as more appropriate for kids that age). Hitting with anything other than an open hand was seen as abusive, and anything that left a visible mark the next day would be considered abusive as well.
Nowadays it's not as common to spank your kids, and is generally viewed as bad parenting. In my state it's legal to spank your children (open hand, on the bottom, no marks left) but most people don't seem to, or at least not talk about it/ do it in front of others. Physical punishment like you described would definitely be seen as abuse and could result in losing custody of your children and/or getting in legal trouble or even jail time. Teachers are required to report suspected abuse or neglect, but that doesn't mean it's always noticed and reported.
Teachers cannot physically discipline kids anymore. When I was a kid your parents could sign a form to consent to "corporal punishment" (a spanking with a wooden paddle) instead of you getting detention after school, but I never heard of or saw anyone choose that option. It's not an option anymore, but I'm not sure when that changed.
KevrobLurker@reddit
Public schools can use corporal punishment in some US states. The teacher may have to have an administrator do it: principal, vice-principal, dean of boys or dean of girl, etc A parent may have to sign a form delegating that authority to the school. The laws in the several days are different.
Some physical punishment, such as an open-handed spank on the bottom is legal in all 50 US states. Too much, too hard &/or using dangerous tools (whipping with an electrical cord, for instance) is considered child abuse. It is a continuum.
DadooDragoon@reddit
It's viewed very negatively and it's understood that physical discipline of children is a result of poor parenting skills
TieDye_Raptor@reddit
I grew up in a Southern Baptist family. I was beaten quite regularly by my father. As far as I know, I didn't ever know of kids getting beaten by teachers or principals at my schools, though - I think that was before my time.
Being beaten is abuse, and growing up with that was utter hell. It's such a wrong way to treat anyone.
PomPomMom93@reddit
My mom grew up that way. She didn’t repeat the cycle and she knows it was wrong, but she has some bad scars.
KevrobLurker@reddit
A lot of theologically conservative Christians back corporal punishment.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Bible-Verses-About-Corporal-Punishment/
I was raised Catholic, & went to Catholic schools. Corporal punishment in public schools was not legal in my state, was legal in private schools, but is no longer. I was spanked and occasionally slapped at home, but not beaten.
I was infrequently hit at school. I had one bad experience in 8th grade. That teacher had a problem: short temper & short man's syndrome. The school did not ask him back the next year. In early grades it was usually Sister pulling the short hairs of your crew cut off rapping your knuckles with a ruler. I was a goody-goody and didn't suffer that often
TieDye_Raptor@reddit
That sucks. I do, too.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Spanking is, unfortunately, legal. You have to keep it to the buttocks area and cannot leave lasting marks.
In the Southern states, spanking children is generally encouraged.
I am wholly against it as it is child abuse and this has been discovered in studies worldwide. Many countries have banned spanking.
In quite a lot of schools, spanking is still allowed and parents have to sign a waiver/letter stating their child is allowed to be spanked at school.
Honestly, if you can’t hit an adult and get away with it, why can you hit a kid and get away with it?
I do not spank my child. I do what is called gentle parenting, but people love to misinterpret it in their pursuit to think everyone is coddling their kids.
If you want to know about gentle parneting, I can explain it.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
Yes I would love to hear more about gentle parenting. I've heard people say that gentle parenting turns kids into entitled brats but it would be amazing if it actually works. Or maybe it's only possible with children having specific characteristics?
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
No, it works for all kids. Every single child on this planet.
Gentle parenting, at its core, is just treating children with respect. It isn’t permissive parenting (where you get "entitled brats"). It’s about treating kids like whole people while still having clear boundaries.
It means we don’t use fear, shame, or hitting to get compliance. I still set rules and expectations. I just focus on teaching instead of punishing.
I correct behaviour, but I also help my kid understand why something isn’t okay and how to handle it better next time.
Natural consequences still exist. I don’t add extra punishment on top of a kid who’s already struggling.
If an adult messes up at work, yelling at them doesn’t make them better at their job. Coaching does. Kids are the same, just with way less emotional regulation.
I’m anti-asshole, not anti-rules.
If you're curious about more, here are some articles that help explain it: (Let me know if you cannot open any of these, I will adjust)
[What is Gentle Parenting? Tips for Parents](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-gentle-parenting?)
[What is Gentle Parenting? From UCONN](https://kids.uconn.edu/2022/10/12/what-is-gentle-parenting/?)
[The authoritative parenting style: An evidence-based guide](https://parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style/)
[The Harsh Realities of "Gentle Parenting"](https://www.newyorker.com/books/under-review/the-harsh-realm-of-gentle-parenting) - If you want to know about possible pitfalls of gentle parenting.
[Positive Parenting vs Strict Parenting](https://www.unicef.org/eap/stories/positive-parenting-vs-strict-parenting?) - From UNICEF
[Parenting Warmth and Strictness across Three Generations: Parenting Styles and Psychosocial Adjustment](https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/20/7487?) - From Spain
[Mothers’ parenting knowledge and its sources in five societies: Specificity in and across Argentina, Belgium, Italy, South Korea, and the United States](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7040847/?)
Anything else, feel free to ask and I will answer the best I can!
PomPomMom93@reddit
In most jobs I’ve had, “coaching” is just the work word for “scolding.” Some “coaching” has driven me to tears.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Okay but that really wasn't my point?
PomPomMom93@reddit
I was just saying that coaching isn’t the right word.
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
Okay
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
Thank you, especially for the links. I've got a lot of reading to do
RatonhnhaketonK@reddit
You're welcome! Thanks for being respectful
Super_Appearance_212@reddit
You can spank your child as long as it doesn't leave a bruise. If Child Protective Services discovers bruises on your child from hitting, they can intervene by removing the child.
Teachers and other government workers are mandated reporters, meaning that they MUST contact CPS if they suspect abuse. When my daughter was in kindergarten she often had grape-sized bruises on her arm. I assumed she was getting them at school somehow, probably on the playground. But her teacher also noticed them and called me in to talk about it. I then realized she had been getting them from playing with our puppy, and the teacher was satisfied with that explanation, thank goodness.
PomPomMom93@reddit
If a kid told me they got spanked, even once, or lightly, I would report abuse.
Gold-Vanilla5591@reddit
It depends on where you are. In the Southern states spanking is more common but in the North it’s a huge no-no. Physical punishment was more common back then too, not so much now.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Spanking IS physical punishment.
GreenBeanTM@reddit
It’s been proven many times over that it’s abuse. Good parents don’t abuse their kids.
the_real_JFK_killer@reddit
Physical punishment is looked down upon here. Its seen as very immature on the parents part.
That said, theres a weird contingent of people, mostly old people, who are convinced physical discipline of kids is the solution to everything.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Some of them are in this thread. Somebody actually said it was a good thing for kids to fear their parents.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
•What’s considered normal discipline in schools?
• How do parents correct behavior?
• Is physical punishment socially acceptable at all or was it until recently?
• If it's not what happens if someone does it anyway?
JellyfishWoman@reddit
Children don't get punished anymore, take a look at any of the teacher subreddits.
Children get therapists these days
I am in a profession where I am what is called a mandated reporter. If I suspect a parent physically punishes their children I am supposed to report them to a government agency to investigate them. They may have their children taken away and/or go to jail or prison for "child abuse"
No I don't agree with any of this. Children should have a healthy amount of fear of their parents.
No I don't have children.
PomPomMom93@reddit
I’m glad you don’t have children. Children should not have to fear their parents! Home should be the one place that’s considered safe. I don’t have kids either, but if I did, I would want them to remember their childhood fondly, not fearfully.
It’s not bad for kids to see therapists. It’s good. It’s good for both adults and children. I know many, many, many people who would benefit from it, but don’t go.
I certainly hope that if a kid is getting abused, you actually do report it instead of looking the other way.
azuth89@reddit
•What’s considered normal discipline in schools?
Physical punishment was phased out over the 90s, basically. Some earlier, some schools held on longer with things like doing it only where parents had given permission. even then, generally it would be a structured thing where you got sent through a whole process with one person assigned to discipline. your teacher wouldn't just haul off and hit you in the middle of class.
• How do parents correct behavior? Widely condoned: Removal of privileges, extra chores, time outs when they're small, things like that along with talking through what was wrong and what was expected. Some do still use physical discipline, but its looked down on and/or considered abuse by many.
• Is physical punishment socially acceptable at all or was it until recently?
30 years ago, totally normal. Taperinf iff ever since.
• If it's not what happens if someone does it anyway
It would depend on the nature of the punishment and if it's recorded. If a kid is showing up with bruises a lot CPS may get involved, which can eventually result in the kid being removed in extreme circumstances. CPS hates to break up families and being in the system sucks so a lot of things happen at home because even the kid may be motivated to stick with the family they know, and CPS will generally push for some form of therapy and check ins in all but the most extreme cases.
MukYJ@reddit
My mom taught kindergarten at a Catholic school in the early 90s in Chicago. Her first staff meeting of the year, the head nun announced to the staff that, new for that school year, there would be no more taping of mouths shut. They were still allowed to use a yardstick on the thighs or butt though.
Even then that was shocking to my family that such punishment was still allowed (or only newly disallowed), and indeed some kids were sent to the Catholic school specifically becuase they were “strict”.
PomPomMom93@reddit
I would rather have my mouth taped shut than be hit on the ass by a yardstick. Weird choice.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
I see. But about the second question you said that parents correct behavior by removal of privileges and extra chores. But what if the child is very uncooperative and outright refuses to do those?
roundpigeon@reddit
I was the uncooperative child you’re describing. However, I was 17 and already had an adversarial relationship with my parents. If something like this happens, typically the parents have already failed to create a home environment that fosters mutual respect and trust. At that point it’s not really on the child in my opinion.
azuth89@reddit
They can refuse the extra chores, but your average teenager can't really refuse having their phone plan and wifi disconnected, fees for clubs not paid, not being driven places, etc...
Younger than that they're usually not ready to win any kind of standoff of will or patience with an adult, so long as the adult is actually patient rather than hauling off an hitting the kid.
That route can fear people into behaving, but only so long as they actually have cause to fear. Kids grow up, and boys in particular are going to hit a point where that's in question.
At which point one of two things happen:
They tell you to fuck off, or they accept it as proper and put up with it then do the same thing to their kids.
Neither is really seen as desirable over here.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
That makes perfect sense. Thank you
MukYJ@reddit
There are many parenting strategies that have various levels of consequences that don’t involve physical violence, which we now know to be ineffective or counterproductive.
One example is a system called Love and Logic that makes extensive use of natural consequences.
linds3ybinds3y@reddit
I think that's pretty rare, but typically, more and more privileges would be taken away. Like, maybe they go from not being allowed to visit friends to not being able to watch TV to having their phone confiscated or their Internet access blocked, etc. IME, losing tech privileges tends to be pretty gutting for them.
Working-Office-7215@reddit
There is ample evidence to show that hitting children leads to worse behavioral outcomes. The US is behind most developed countries in still having a few pockets where spanking (but certainly not beating) one's child is considered acceptable. You start setting expectations when children are little and also setting them up for success- you put them to bed on time, have a stable routine, etc. It is work to raise well behaved kids, but if you put the effort in when they are 0-10, it will pay off, and the younger kids will learn from the older.
As to your specific questions, with my 6 year old, if he refuses to come brush his teeth, I will count to 3, and if he does not come, he will have to sit in time out. If my 11 year old borrows my ipad to text her friends and forgets to put it back on the charger, she will lose ipad privileges for a week.
SkiingAway@reddit
Where I grew up (New Jersey), physical/corporal punishment has been banned in all schools since 1867.
Lectures, chores/tasks, removal of privileges, etc.
Very socially unacceptable among the middle class + up today. More normal 30+ years ago. Most informed people are aware there's a huge amount of research on the topic that shows it to be detrimental.
A teacher in a school or something that is actually not legally allowed to be doing that? Fired, criminal charges, parent suing.
A parent doing it? Assuming it's at the mild end - nothing, besides social judgement. That's not illegal. If it's the kind of thing that's resulting in significant bruises or injuries - police/child services reports for abuse, at least once anyone else finds out about it.
msondo@reddit
In the most extreme cases, we have prisons for minors where they go if they commit a serious crime. In the school setting, there are a range of options for discipline ranging from warnings, parent conferences, suspension, alternative schools for kids with behavioral problems, and expulsion.
In the latter cases, parents are definitely involved and often investigated. Some parents can be thrown into jail if there is evidence of neglect or abuse. Kids can be separated from their parents and sometimes put into the foster system if they are in a bad environment.
Physical punishment is not acceptable but it happens. It's legal up until a degree but it'll often result in a lot of scrutiny to the point that someone might call Child Protective Services on the family for investigation. Abuse is illegal and cause for removal of the child from the family environment and punishment on the parents.
I always tell parents who believe in corporal punishment if they just do it because the kid can't fight back. Would they do that to an older kid? Would it be okay if the kid did that to them - especially then they are elderly? In my opinion, especially after learning a lot about child psychology and different techniques for raising children, I think corporal punishment is most often just lazy parenting by shitty parents. It's abuse and doesn't really teach the kid much except to hide their actions and fear their parents.
FantasticDrowse39@reddit
When I was in school, decades ago, discipline was things like stand in the corner, go to the principal’s office, call your parents, detention. Things like that. Now, I don’t know, I don’t have kids.
Think_Profession2098@reddit
Physical punishment definitely nonexistent in schools, parents vary but no one I know was ever physically disciplined except maybe one or two incidents.
School discipline is weird. I got out of highschool recently and if a student doesn't care they simply won't, and a lot of schools, especially the well funded or regarded public schools will suspend kids at the very maximum. Students can misbehave and borderline fail for years and still graduate no problem more often than not. More students graduate than should be, basically, and discipline is not permanent and often meaningless, but I'd say most students are still self driven and competitive.
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
How is it being handled. Let's say you forgot to submit an assignment or didn't bring something you were supposed to, what would be the result? And what if it's more extreme like constantly disrupting the class or insulting the teachers?
PomPomMom93@reddit
Forgetting an assignment or not bringing something in will result in a lower grade for the class. Some teachers fail you if you’re even a day late, some take off 10% each day you’re late, some are chill, etc. In my high school, if kids were disruptive, they put them in a special classroom and they sometimes got detention. I never heard of anyone being physically punished at my school. For the record, my high school is ranked one of the top 20 in the state (and in the top 500 nationally).
Working-Office-7215@reddit
In 99.5% of schools, corporal punishment is not used, and in the schools/states where it is not banned, parents still have to consent, and an alternate punishment, such as detention, may be offered. If you do not submit an assignment - you get a bad grade. If you forget something you need- you get a bad grade. Those are natural consequences for those actions.
Sweet_Cinnabonn@reddit
A reduced grade or a zero on an assignment you didn't bring in. Pretty much the same as an adult not completing a work assignment on time.
Constantly disrupting of class would get handled very differently in different areas and different ages. Could include temporary removal from class, temporary suspension, eventually expulsion. There would be a behavior plan, a review that looks at the reason and the triggers, and an evaluation for special education.
Ms-Metal@reddit
What are you talking about? Physical punishment AKA corporal punishment is still allowed in many states in school. Probably not done nearly as much as it used to be, but it's legal in many states.
Think_Profession2098@reddit
Talking about my experience in Jersey, thought it was obvious no one in this sub can speak for the country as a whole.
annang@reddit
Physical punishment is definitely not nonexistent in schools. It's still perfectly legal in many states, and practiced in many schools.
lfxlPassionz@reddit
I'm sorry you had to go through that. In the United States this is a touchy subject.
Logically, it's abuse. I 100% know this is abusive. Most states legally consider it abuse as well but the people who would be able to do anything about it often look the other way because the popular religions in the US usually push for children to be abused.
As a person who has taken care of countless children before even being old enough to physically have kids (and I still haven't because of finances), I noticed that kids who are physically punished only learn fear from it, nothing else.
Fear is not a good teacher. If you don't teach and instead resort to hitting, the child will definitely act up when you aren't around.
You need to teach who, what, where, when, why, and how for lessons to truly stick.
If the child understands what they did logically and without violence involved, they will understand things much more.
A teenager is harassing the homeless? Have them volunteer to help the homeless. A kid makes a mess? Have them clean it up.
Kids are smart. Even before they can speak, they can understand many things. Parents need to learn to communicate, support and teach rather than abuse, create fear and bully.
PomPomMom93@reddit
This is so true. The things you describe are called “natural consequences” and the truest thing to the real world. If your kid breaks a neighbor’s window with a baseball, don’t hit them. Just don’t give them their allowance until it reaches the total need to fix the window.
MMag05@reddit
Very well said and agree with every word
Ok-Wave7703@reddit
Not common at all anymore, which is a good thing.
brokecrashdummy@reddit
Is it though? We have a whole generation of kids that have never faced any consequences for their actions and they are bad as hell. They never had any reason to be scared of acting up or getting in trouble now everybody else is wrong when they don't coddle them as adults.
tacosgunsandjeeps@reddit
The spanked generation acts a lot better than the safe place generation
twxf@reddit
You can always tell who has obviously never worked in retail or service when they say shit like this ^
brokecrashdummy@reddit
I've worked retail most of my life, and I don't see the point of your comment. Every generation has shitty people and they are usually the ones who didn't get disciplined or face any consequences for their actions that are the ones throwing tantrums and shit.
anneofgraygardens@reddit
there's a difference between "consequences" and "hitting children". I'm not a parent but I'm pretty sure only the least creative among us couldn't come up with a consequence that isn't literally beating your kids.
ChocolatePain@reddit
Don't bother man. Saying don't hit kids is apparently controversial and people will bend over backwards to defend it for some reason.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Because they repeated the cycle and have to convince themselves that they did the right thing. And they can’t accept that what was done to them was wrong.
ChocolatePain@reddit
"I was spanked and I turned out fine!!"
PomPomMom93@reddit
Exactly. Sure they did.
Katyafan@reddit
Because they like hitting kids. The experts say not to, that it dosn't help, that it hurts, and these people just want to hit children so badly they ignore everything else. If you spank kids, you're a shit person.
PomPomMom93@reddit
Absolutely not.
Mental_Freedom_1648@reddit
Anecdotal, but my most poorly behaved relatives are the ones who were hit the most often growing up. Non-physical consequences are an option.
PomPomMom93@reddit
IKR. My mom was physically abused as a kid and she’s not abusive but she does have psychological problems. At least she realizes now that the things her mother did to her were wrong.
Realtrain@reddit
This aligns well with the studies on the subject as well.
PomPomMom93@reddit
It’s almost as if you can punish children for bad behavior without hitting them.
wooper346@reddit
Two things can be true:
Realtrain@reddit
I really think some people don't realize this, likely if they were physically punished/abused as children.
Komnos@reddit
Every single generation in human history has claimed something like this about the generations after it. Literally. As in, we have ancient Greek texts whining about those damn kids these days. It's always just confirmation bias. I'd be more worried about people who are such lazy thinkers that they don't even think of extremely obvious and simple things like, say, the fact that spanking is not the only form of consequences.
roundpigeon@reddit
I said this in my other comment, but research shows that physical punishments are not only traumatic to children, but they aren’t even that effective. Here’s a study that was conducted on it if you’re curious: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8612122/
Aprils-Fool@reddit
Of course it’s a bad thing. There are so many discipline options in between “no consequences” and “hit children.”
Congregator@reddit
The term “corporal punishment” has also become an umbrella term that has gone beyond “hitting” and “spanking”, in our state.
For example, giving push ups or making a student take laps around the building is now also considered corporal punishment.
Ok-Wave7703@reddit
There’s consequences that don’t involve violence. And kids of this age don’t seen to misbehave anymore then previous generations. You likely just see it more on the news/SM
steviehatillo@reddit
Kids not having consequences for their actions is a separate issue from kids not being physically punished. There are effective types of discipline that don’t include hitting.
On_my_last_spoon@reddit
Consequences don’t have to be beatings you know.
Doodlebug365@reddit
I’m in a mindset that you don’t need to physically put your hands on a child to enact discipline. But parents need to figure out the best way to dish out consequences. It’s not a one-fits-all situation.
The problem that I’m seeing working in childcare is that parents try one thing & then give up. Then they get frustrated when their 3 year olds don’t “listen” and then they spank them. OR they give up and give the tablet to the child to “distract” them. Children aren’t changing/getting worse, it’s the parents that never figured out a better way to be parents.
Sharkhottub@reddit
This is generally the Low IQ take on it, but research has found that there are far more effective techniques at disciplining children.
Poette-Iva@reddit
Study after study has proven that hitting kids not only doesn't work, it can lead to more behavioral problems.
It's not okay to hit an adult, that's assault, but for some reason when it's a child who doesn't understand cause and effect yet it's okay? Absolutely ridiculous.
You can punish kids without striking them, jesus.
Carl_Schmitt@reddit
Still pretty common in black and Latin American communities in NYC. I worked in a position where I was a mandated reporter and filed quite a few cases myself.
No_Control9441@reddit
Yep very common with Caribbean communities.
Courwes@reddit
It’s still very common. I think you live in a bubble.
55555_55555@reddit
This thread seems way too confused between what is happening at schools and what is happening at home. Obviously, at school it's way out of touch with societal norms at this point and very rare, but at the home it's an entirely different story.
Realtrain@reddit
It's not "very common".
It's only legal in a minority of states, and even on those it's prohibited by most school districts.
77% of American adults oppose it.
PomPomMom93@reddit
It used to be the norm here, but thankfully, not so much anymore. I’m not quite sure how it’s regulated, though.
Bonegirl06@reddit
Child protective services generally gives parents leeway to use physical punishment as long as it doesn't leave lasting marks and is age appropriate. In my state it is legal to spank, swat, smack, etc. However, socially it's going to be very dependent on your local culture.
HermioneMarch@reddit
In my state it is legal to physically discipline a child as long as it does not leave marks. It is technically legal in schools, although with today’s legalistic society, no principal would touch a child. Parents do though. It tends to be along socioeconomic lines, though not always.
OkDecision1612@reddit
Generally spanking is frowned upon but still legal. Beating is illegal and you’ll get a government agency at your door potentially removing your children from your care.
wittyisland@reddit
While I wish it was less widespread, in my rural area it's VERY prevalent. My son is 9 and I can only think of two other kids he knows who don't have parents who hit them - everyone else is spanked. My nephews are spanked. It's sad as hell honestly, and disgusts me.
A lot just depends on the region in the US you're in. The south? VERY common. I remember in the late 90's they were still paddling kids at school, and the idiots who live here keep calling for it to come back. Saying kids who aren't physically punished will be punks and that's what's wrong with the younger generations blah blah blahhhh
It's low effort discipline to me. And there have been many studies showing it really messes with people as they grow - as someone who was spanked as a kid, I can tell you I learned pretty quickly to not trust my parents.
KaetzenOrkester@reddit
I was wondering about a geographic variance. I live in CA but have lived in the deep south. My sense is that it's more prevelant there.
KawasakiNinjasRule@reddit
The entire concept comes from people misunderstanding avoidant attachment. The fact your kid isn't crying anymore does not mean they're in some fucking zen state. They're just hiding how they feel.
KaetzenOrkester@reddit
1) The definition of what constitutes child abuse is left up the individual states. This refers to the legal definition, not what parents practice in their own homes. What this means is that corporal, or physical, punishment is often legal but not recommended.
But it is also important to remember that if state legislatures wanted to outlaw spanking, they could. So far, I don't think any have.
2) What you describe experiencing meets the legal definition of child abuse in most if not all US states.
The gray area is whether or not a light swat on the backside counts as abuse. More and more people in the US, I think, are coming to view physical discipline as abusive or as borderline abusive. When I was a child (I'm in my 50s), my mother stopped spanking me because she realized how easy it would be to keep hitting me. I was not a particulary bad child.
Books like Parenting With Love and Logic detail natural and age-appropraite consequences for disciplining children without resorting to violence. Currently there is a debate about "gentle parenting" which is too often mistaken for not enforcing consequences at all.
I used Love and Logic with own son, but he was also diagnoses with Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, so was not the typical child. Logical consequences work very well. So did walking away and dealing with whatever the issue was when I'd calmed down.
3) Research is starting to view any physical discipline as inappropriate and damaging. If we teach our children not to hit others, and then spank them when they misbehave, at the very least, we send them mixed messages and that "might makes right."
YOUTUBEFREEKYOYO@reddit
My father's generation it was the norm. Mine it is very frowned upon.
radpandaparty@reddit
I think it varies. My parents either popped us, used the belt, or made us do wall sits. Physical punishment was pretty rare though, it probably happened to me at most five or six times.
evsummer@reddit
Legally it’s very state dependent. In my state, for example, corporal punishment is legal but “excessive” corporal punishment is not. The statutory law doesn’t tell you what the line is between excessive and permitted so it’s a definition lawyers end up arguing over.
In practice, it’s becoming more and more frowned upon. It’s not a disciplinary method parents are taught or encouraged to use, though people still do. There are also cultural differences within various communities. In my own personal case, I was hit as a child but not with objects- just hands. I don’t use corporal punishment on my own children.
Able_Celery_8878@reddit
growing up in the 90s, physical discipline was a thing at home, but never in school. It seems to be virtually non-existent in schools today, variable in homes but definitely more frowned upon than in the past
exceptionallyprosaic@reddit
Well my son is a teenager now but when he started public school 10 years ago in the "deep south" , I had to sign a form that addressed whether I would allow school officials to use corporal punishment on my kid. I chose to not allow them to hit my child or physically"discipline" him.
I have never spanked or hit or struck my child in any way ever. Not even one time. Not even a slight SWAT on the butt.
I don't believe that hitting people or striking people or spanking people is the way we solve disagreements or how discipline is created.
I think people that hit children are cowardly, weak and wrong
NoContext9453@reddit (OP)
I just searched up what a paddle is and holy shit, looks like it'll break bones. And I'm sorry about the girl in your class. In my opinion the principal got to go out the easy way and deserved way worse.
exceptionallyprosaic@reddit
Yeah his paddle was basically the thickness of a 2x4, with the edges sanded down and holes drilled through it so that it would smack harder.
Sweetwill62@reddit
While absolutely awful, hanging the instrument with which the punishment will be implemented with in a visible location is not really a pervy thing and more of a power thing. They want their victims to suffer longer and seeing it and knowing what is about to happen adds another layer to the punishment. Absolutely vile. It wasn't uncommon for the object to be a belt hung on a wall.
exceptionallyprosaic@reddit
I think it was absolutely perverted that he hung a paddle on the wall that he used to hit children with.
And I would think the same of any other person that did something similar
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
I was born in the late 60's. Elementary (K-8) school principal had a paddle hanging on his wall.
He was a very nice man, and I would be surprised if it came off the wall more than a half-dozen times in my entire time at that school. The intent was more to scare than to use.
exceptionallyprosaic@reddit
Yeah that's what they said about the principle that we had too. He was a very well regarded well-respected powerful man in our community and everybody just thought he was awesome until they found out he'd been raping his daughter for her entire life. He was the nicest guy though right
Realtrain@reddit
This really summarizes my view. It's weird to begin with. Then you pill on all the evidence that shows it does not help the child long term and there's zero reason for it at all.
123KidHello@reddit
It was normal maybe 100-150 years ago but it's not normal now. It's look down upon and is considered child abuse. Even some parents that do use physical discipline only spank the child on the buttocks.
There are so many ways to discipline a child that work even better. Time out, detention, taking away their video games for a month ( taking away their video games hurts them way more than any physical punishment), not taking them out for fun due to a punishment, not buying them any gifts or toys for a long time.
You can easily get creative but the reason humans hit kids going back in human history was that it was the easiest way to discipline a child without patience. Every other technique takes patience and time , whereas in the olden times they thought a quick whack meant instant discipline.
Times change though.
So basically yeah, it's totally frowned upon in American culture. Even if the kid is doing something really bad there are a ton of other non physical ways to teach the child a lesson.
ericchen@reddit
Bearing “brutally” would land the involved in jail.
Spiritual-Quarter417@reddit
I got whooped on extremely hard for drawing on the walls when I was young. I sure as hell wouldn't do it to my kid though.
like_shae_buttah@reddit
No matter what the laws are, child abuse is wildly prevalent and practically decriminalized by a near total lack of enforcement.
As a millennia, I received beatings from my elementary school teachers with the use of a wooden paddle.
vingtsun_guy@reddit
I worked in law enforcement, specifically the child welfare/juvenile justice system, for 17 years. I know a father who served 30 days in jail for injuring his son while pulling the teenager off of his mother, whom he was assaulting. The father never intervened again. He (the teenager) went on to be convicted of domestic assault against his mother 9 more times before he turned 18.
urquhartloch@reddit
You are allowed to physically discipline your children within reason (no using metal bars as an over the top example). Normally parents choose to spank (striking the bottom with an open hand or wooden spoon).
If anyone else does it (even aunts/uncles or grandparents to a certain degree) itd illegal anxiety assaulting a child.
MoriKitsune@reddit
The general rule is that anything that leaves marks (any kind of welt, scratch, blood, bruise, or lump) is considered abuse, as well as hitting a child with a closed fist or kicking them.
Striking any part of the child other than the area around their rear is also frowned upon, and any strikes to the belly or above the shoulders is usually considered abuse. Using blunt or heavy objects is also considered abusive, as well as very thin or whiplike things like extension cables.
The most common things a child would be physically disciplined with are wooden spoons, belts (not the buckle,) flip-flops, and an open palm, with the strikes light enough that they wouldn't leave marks.
For the most part, only family members or people the parents consider to be a worthy authority figure (such as a close neighbor, family friend, or religious leader) would be allowed to physically discipline a child. There are some places (more socially conservative areas, mostly) where it wouldn't be too unusual for teachers and community members to physically discipline children, but that's not the norm for most of the country.
Kineth@reddit
I was spanked as a kid though it was maybe 3 different times total. I'm 41. While spanking was still.... somewhat acceptable up to my adolescence, it was definitely on its way out and is not considered unfavorable or akin to abuse. I'm also black and southern, so there's the whole notion of picking out the switch.
Raibean@reddit
About the time I was in high school (mid to late 2000s) there was a conscious effort to change the norm and stigmatize corporal punishment and physical discipline. It was criminalized in Massachusetts IIRC, and a slew of scientific studies came out showing poor outcomes due to spanking - even once.
But ultimately, my view is this: I work as a preschool teacher. If I can be expected to keep control over 12 2 year olds by myself (and I have!) with no hitting and no time out, then parents don’t really have an excuse.
MetroBS@reddit
Quickest way for a teacher to never be hired again would be physically disciplining a student
Ms-Metal@reddit
You do realize that many states still allow Corporal Punishment in school, right. Thank you no issue for the teacher because many states still allow this.
Realtrain@reddit
Most states do not allow corporal punishment in public schools
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_corporal_punishment_in_the_United_States
NoActionAtThisTime@reddit
On paper many states still allow it. In practice it is extremely rare.
Ill-Weather-6383@reddit
Beating your kids is both illegal and basically turns you into a pariah for much of the US. For the less severe stuff like spanking, it will vary from region to region, but there's much less of it than there used to be.
OpposumMyPossum@reddit
In the US 52% said a good hard spanking is needed to discipline a child.
That was within the last 5 years.
In the 80s it was in the 80s percent.
Realtrain@reddit
Can you cite the source for that?
This Pee Research article from 10 years ago says the majority of parents have never spanked their child.
AdFuzzy1432@reddit
The US has not signed on the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child mostly over this issue. The right to spank children is important to Republicans.
Far_Silver@reddit
There are a ton of countries that have signed and ratified the Convention on the Rights of the Child that still allow corporal punishment.
OP is from India, which is a signatory, and just said that it's common there. And that's just one example.
AdFuzzy1432@reddit
I'm just repeating what the Republicans say about it. I personally agree it makes no sense.
Courwes@reddit
It’s a mixed bag. I’m not sure it’s fully illegal in any state but the severity of the corporal punishment varies (like an open hand swat on the bottom vs using a belt on a child vs slapping them in the face).
There are several states where it’s legal to spank children in schools but I’d be hard pressed to find a school that still does it ( though I’m sure you can if you look hard enough). If kids are still getting spanked in school it’s not making the news because it’s expected in that community so no one is reporting it.
zeroabe@reddit
Proponents of physical discipline have a difficult time articulating the difference between spanking and beating.
The most successful arguments for spanking revolve around parental intention.
Most of the counter arguments revolve around the concept that there are better ways to modify behavior.
In America it is frowned upon in many places but commonly done in many places.
I THINK that the more educated and/or more financially well off the family is, the less physical discipline the child receives.
And I don’t have any proof of that to be true other than my own experience and conversations with people on the subject. It’s my best guess at WHO does the spankings in 2025.
There is also a cultural component, surely. If you grew up in a culture where it was normal, you would be more likely to spank your children.
Danibear285@reddit
Let me put it this way: I have a genuine fear of wooden cooking spoons. They were my mom’s “weapon of choice” for me, going through most of childhood with undiagnosed disabilities.
EdwardPotatoHand@reddit
in 2026, there are two major groups of thought.. 1: people who read and follow the science and don't beat their children 2: people want to beat their children so they beat their children.
vanillablue_@reddit
It’s viewed as a pretty low-IQ way of disciplining a child. A grown adult should be able to use their words and explain to a child why what they did was wrong. Said adult should also be able to keep their composure enough to not physically injure a child who made a mistake.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Parents are allowed to spank their kids and others whom they give permission to do it. If someone does it without their permission like a teacher or random person then they can press charges against them.
Aprils-Fool@reddit
To add to this, striking a child with an option is considered abuse in the U.S.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Legally, it depends on the severity. People beat their kids all of the time and won't get in trouble if they don't leave bruises on them.
Aprils-Fool@reddit
Sorry, I had an autocorrect issue. It should have said, “Striking a child with an object.”
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
People hit their kids with belts and the same logic would apply
Aprils-Fool@reddit
DCF/CPS consider it abuse to strike a child with an object.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Yes but what do they do about it?
Aprils-Fool@reddit
That depends. Every situation is different.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Agreed
Far_Silver@reddit
That's from lack of evidence. Not leaving a mark isn't a legal standard, it's just that if you bruise your kid or leave welts, it's much harder to prevent people from noticing.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Yeah that makes sense. But even then CPS likely won't do much about it unless the kid is in life threatening danger.
Remarkable-Low-3471@reddit
Oh you an expert on CPS now eh? Please enlighten us with your extensive knowledge of mandated reporting. lol Hows that 401k man? You wanna see how much i paid for my last dentist visit and tetnus shot?
I'm still enjoying what you put out there, keep it up.
Aprils-Fool@reddit
Are you drunk?
Remarkable-Low-3471@reddit
I must be lost. Excuse me I'll see myself out.
Ok-Energy-9785@reddit
Huh?
Remarkable-Low-3471@reddit
Darylprat
IronyElSupremo@reddit
Regulated by each state in terms of school punishment (though assault is never allowed), though there’s the Bible verse “spare the rod..” that’s generally followed by many, but not all, parents. Mostly it’s a tap/swat on the bottom of a smaller child, where just a reminder will suffice for older ones (the US is a driving society so a teen will gain major independence before graduation).
That said, I didn’t get corporal punishment (my mom was a ‘60s era hippy/dad .. not engaged), .. and I started getting into trouble. Had the parents sign me up for martial arts where one volunteers to get hit if not following protocol, and turned out fine (.. except where plotting ninja assassinations of my foes but another story).
SnooChipmunks2079@reddit
I was born in the late 60's. Some parents spanked or hit but far from all. The school principal had a paddle but seldom, if ever, used it.
Today, if you were to be beating a small child in public, I would expect to be restrained, assaulted yourself, or have the police called.
Our daughter is 13 and I've never even considered hitting her.
I can't imagine a modern American public school physically assaulting a child in the name of discipline.
That said, this may be very class, subculture, and region specific. It may be more common in lower class areas, or with certain minorities, or in other parts of the country.
In my middle-to-upper-class majority white Chicago area suburb, I can't imagine it.
MattieShoes@reddit
It's been going away for decades. Physical punishment has largely disappeared from schools, so now it's generally only parents.
I think it's still somewhat acceptable socially as long as it's rare and extreme. For instance, I got spanked twice. Once was for running into a street without looking, and the other was for hurting another kid. Neither was actually to inflict pain so much as to shock me into the awareness that this was serious business.
I don't think many parents would clutch their pearls over something like that. But getting a proper beating? Lots would think it's terrible behavior by the parents.
r2k398@reddit
Where I live, it is legal but with rules. You cannot leave marks, bruises, broken bones, etc. I think it's still legal to paddle kids in school in some districts.
uhsiv@reddit
Like violence in general, Republicans love it, and everyone else is appalled
ColinHalter@reddit
My dad spanked me once, but I think he hated doing it more than I hated getting spanked so he never did it again.
wowbragger@reddit
People's perception greatly differ throughout the US, and you'll get a variety of answers.
Educational institutions have proven that physical discipline and punishment is not that effective in the development of children. It causes more problems as well, and has been completely phased out of any modern education/developmental guide for a generation or so now.
Legally, at best it's also questionable in a lot of ways, regardless of individual interpretation. This is on the parent front, as the above has already removed it from schools.
That being said, many households still use physical discipline and I'm sure you'd find advocates for it all over.
NoActionAtThisTime@reddit
For context, I'm ~40 years old.
I almost never heard of anyone getting physically punished in school. I had one friend in college who'd been to Catholic school when he was younger. He said they occasionally paddled students but it was super-rare. In public school it always seemed unthinkable to me. I've heard stories of it still occasionally being done in the Deep South but I'd be shocked if that practice hasn't almost entirely died out.
At home it really varies depending on culture & demographics. Among today's parents it has almost totally died out in the middle/upper-middle class suburban crowd. The stereotype is that black & hispanic parents still smack their kids a lot but even their I think it depends more on class than race.
Among people my age I'd say the majority were spanked on rare occasions. I think I got smacked on the butt twice as a kid. Some friend of mine got it more frequently, some never got spanked at all, no one I know well has ever said it was excessive or abusive. Hitting kids with sticks would probably result in the cops getting called.
MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit
This has been thought of as abuse since at least the late 90s when I was babysitting.
DrMindbendersMonocle@reddit
Its still around, but it is much less accepted these days. When I was growing up it was very common and schools would paddle children for bad behavior.
Schools doing that today are almost non existant and I would say the majority of people in the US view spanking as abuse. I think it is still legal in all of the states, though
Ratatoskr_The_Wise@reddit
Chicagoan here: We call the cops and Child Protective Services. Sometimes they take the child into protective custody. Parents can be charged with criminal charges and thrown in jail.
Dave_A480@reddit
Corporal punishment by the state (public schools, etc) is exceedingly rare
At home, it's constitutionally protected (insofar as multiple religions encourage its use on disobedient children)....
Outside of religious communities it has become a lot less common.....
SideEmbarrassed1611@reddit
Physical discipline has been proven to be grossly a waste of time and about as effective as taking a hammer to a dead car engine. You can hit it all you want, but it accomplishes nothing.
Negative reinforcement has been shown to be the biggest time waster in child rearing as they merely learn not to misbehave in a way you find out. They fear the pain, but do not learn why the act they did was bad.
Positive reinforcement of positive behavior and ignoring when the child is misbehaving works far better. Physical punishment is then reserved for egregious misbehavior such as harming someone else, stealing, etc. But for lesser things, telling them no and taking away a luxury works better on top of praising good behavior.
Almost every child development scholar these days finds physical punishment stupid and repulsive, and many parents use it sparingly. In schools it is outright banned. At home, many parents use communication and talking now to work through bad behavior as all a spanking does is teach the kid to fear spanking. They do not learn their lesson.
StrippinChicken@reddit
I am 23F. I was hit with a belt growing up, items thrown at me, grabbed, yelled at, and put into time out by my dad. Teachers could not legally physically punish children. Corporeal punishment at home was phasing out with my generation when I was a kid. Today corporeal punishment is not the norm but I'm sure it still happens.
socabella@reddit
Physical discipline was a lot more common when I was growing up in the 90s/early 00s. Now it’s viewed more as abuse and less common.
I think it’s still more common in the southern US states versus north or west.
Pretty sure a teacher hitting children in school is illegal, and definitely not socially accepted in any state.
roundpigeon@reddit
It still happens, but it’s considered child abuse. An educator would lose their job if they hit a child. Research overwhelmingly shows that physical punishments are both ineffective and traumatic. I would say the majority of people are against it, but there is still a subset of Americans, especially old people, who think it’s acceptable.
DeeDeeW1313@reddit
Depends on the state.
It is illegal in all 50 states to slap a child on the face or leave a mark on their bodies.
It is legal in most states to use corporal punishment. Meaning, it is legal to spank a child on the bottom using your hand. In some states it’s legal to use a belt or paddle.
It’s becoming increasingly unpopular to use corporal punishment. It’s more common in certain communities (southern white communities, Latin -American communities, Black communities).
I am a former CPS worker, there were strict rules about what types of corporal or physical punishment were considered child abuse and what were not.
MoobyTheGoldenSock@reddit
It’s still pretty common but becoming less common. Study after study shows that spanking is bad for kids and doesn’t actually work better than other forms of discipline, so our culture is moving away from it.
SueNYC1966@reddit
Community standards.
strawbeebop@reddit
My parents got paddled at school in the 70s. My dad actually had my high school history teacher's father as his elementary school teacher. That guy apparently had a fiberglass paddle with holes in it hanging from the ceiling, and it only took one kid misbehaving for the rest of the class to get the idea.
My parents spanked my siblings and me as kids, but I can't speak to how they would have reacted if we had still gotten spanked in school. I think my sister got spanked in the 90s, but there was absolutely no spanking by the I was in kindergarten in 2004.
I believe the US allows spanking as long as it isn't "excessive," which I believe means you can't leave bruising or marks. My definition of excessive is striking a defenseless child, though. If you hit an adult, that's a crime. Why do people think it's appropriate for a 200 lb adult to hit a 40 lb child? All that did was make me conflict-averse for the rest of my life, since even being near an argument would get me in trouble as a kid. Now when people yell or argue, I go into a panic and can't keep myself calm.
BizzareRep@reddit
It’s not unheard of. However, American law and culture strongly condemn violence. Hence, meeting Americans who were beaten by their parents is not super common in 2026. Keep in mind, this wasn’t always so. Mere 40 years ago, it was still common for schools to have a teacher beat students under a school policy. But these types of practices are no longer acceptable.
Rvtrance@reddit
I got spanked growing up but I’ve only spanked one kid one time in my whole life. (My cousin punched someone in the balls and stole his sprite.) He’s a fine young man now and we are very close. He thinks the story is super funny. His parents had no problem with me spanking him. I don’t love that I did it. Probably a better way, but I was pretty young at that point too.
getElephantById@reddit
When I was growing up in the 70s and 80s, it was not uncommon. I think most kids had a story about getting the wooden spoon, or the belt, or cutting a switch from a tree. But it was not a daily occurrence, it was maybe something the parents did a few times, under what they considered special circumstances. I grew up in a middle/lower-middle class rural area.
I think since the late 90s, corporal punishment by parents has dropped precipitously. I would imagine the majority of parents today don't do it, but this will vary by individual families.
Today I would say it is viewed as something parents should not do. I live in Seattle now, and I think if someone saw a parent hitting their kid in public, they might speak up. There's a chance they'd do more (like report the incident to the police). I think the most likely outcome would be that they said nothing, but silently thought that that parent was a terrible person. This is different from 50 years ago, when it would have been seen as an unfortunate but necessary part of child-rearing.
cwcam86@reddit
I got my ass lit up by the principal a couple of times in middle school and figured shit out real quick.
EMAW2008@reddit
If you are a teacher you’re looking at possibly losing your career, or jail time for assault.
If you’re a parent and your kid is coming to school with bruises and scrapes, they can alert social services or law enforcement to intervene.
Generally, it’s frowned upon for several reasons. Mainly because you aren’t teaching them to correct their behavior, you’re teaching them they’ll get smacked if they do the wrong thing. They won’t contemplate WHY they were hit with a ruler… they’ll just be upset that it happened rather than focusing on how to correct it the next time.
The reason this was so common in previous generations is because they lacked the emotional regulation skills that newer generations have. Which to me was always an odd flex. “My parents beat me and I turned out great!”… no you didn’t unless you managed to not repeat that behavior or parenting style.
Ms-Metal@reddit
Many many states still allow corporal punishment in school. A teacher is not going to lose their career or get jail time lol. In some areas of the country it's still common. But it's also legal in many states.
Definitely more frowned upon than it used to be, but many states still allow it both at home and in school.
EMAW2008@reddit
Let’s put it this way, if someone lays a hand on my kid then I might end up in jail lol.
In my state that’s the case. Not surprising some of the dumber states that’s the case. Also have a hard time believing that you can just smack a kid in school as a teacher. In my opinion, if you have to resort to that kind of thing, you’re a shitty teacher.
yellowrose04@reddit
Ahh when I was a kid my parents would talk to us if it was something simple like coloring on the walls. Ground us most of the time if we were bad and the super bad things we’d get whooped with a yard stick or ruler or something. That was unusual at the time but still was happening. Nowadays I’d say pretty much nobody does that kind of thing. It usually goes in the call the police, call cps this is abuse category now where 20ish years ago wasn’t normal but still happened pretty frequently.
r2d3x9@reddit
Spanking and hitting your child should be a very very last resort, and very rare.
misterlakatos@reddit
I do not believe in physical discipline. I think anyone that beats a 4-year-old with a stick deserves the same treatment only with a Louisville Slugger.
Far_Silver@reddit
Corporal punishment of students by schools is unacceptable in the overwheling majority of the country.
Parents spanking kids with an open hand is controversial, although not nearly as widely frowned upon as you would think from the internet. Hitting your kid with a stick was more common in the past, but these days most people (even people who don't have an issue with spanking) would consider it abusive, and it would get you arrested.
tacosgunsandjeeps@reddit
Spanking and beating are 2 completely different things
nocranberries@reddit
I got hit as a kid and all it made me do was have issues with authority and absolutely fucking despise my parents
I think it's much less popular than it used to be thank god
Also depends strongly on where you are and who you're talking to. Rural/southern, conservative religious communities are more likely to still support it. Urban, less religious, more liberal and educated populations will look down on it
Ms-Metal@reddit
That's others have said, it's not nearly as common as it used to be, but it's absolutely still legal, and most every state to hit your kid and it's also legal in many states to have corporal punishment in school. Reddit excuse really young, so you're getting all kinds of information totally wrong. Young eople think it's not legal because it didn't happen to them, but it's absolutely still legal in most places, the severity is regulated but it's a hard thing to regulate especially because if somebody filed a complaint, chances are good that any evidence would be completely gone by the time anybody got out there to investigate 2 weeks later. The kids on Reddit seem to think that it's no longer legal in school lol but it is. Not in every state, but in many states.
Now legality and current habits are totally different things. It used to be extremely common and the attitude used to be that if you did something wrong you deserved it. In fact back in my day and I'm not a young Redditor, the prevailing thought was that if you got paddled at school, you were going to get peddled even worse when you got home. Parents figured the teachers were always right and you must have done something to deserve it. There has been a huge cultural shift to gentle parenting and these days people are so protective of their kids and so into their own rights, the culturally now you are more likely to hear that nobody is allowed to touch somebody's kids except for themselves. So these days I think in many cases if a child was paddled at school, the parent would complain. Or maybe not because mostly these days they have to agree in advance that they will allow it.
You've got people telling you in here that it went away in the 1970s LOL it absolutely did not and it was still being practiced in the 1970s in schools. I know cuz I went to school in the 70s. In general, even at home, it's frowned upon a lot more than it used to be but it is still practiced and it is still allowed to be practiced by law up to a certain point. It was still very common for kids to get beaten and spanked at home in the '70s, I think it's a lot less common now but it still occurs, there was a famous case just about 10 years ago although that one involved a high profile football player so he went through a lot of parenting classes to help him understand that that wasn't the best way to teach your kids. He was apparently doing what he had grown up with which is still somewhat common especially in certain areas of the country. In general though there has been a huge cultural shift to seeing physical punishment as unnecessary and it's seen more as a negative now.
ms_sophaphine@reddit
There are very few (if any) places where physical discipline in schools is legal. Schools might hand out detention (stay late after school as punishment), suspension typically 1 day to 1 week (in school suspension = you come to school but instead of going to your normal classes you are put in a specific class with other kids who are in trouble; out of school = stay home for your suspension); you might be barred from participating in fun activities or extracurriculars such as theater or sports.
Physical discipline by parents or family members is less common than it was even 20 years ago. There is less acceptance of that, though it’s more common in certain ethnic or economic groups. For the most part our society has moved away from physical punishment of children. From a legal perspective, there’s a certain amount of physical discipline that is allowed. Closed fist is bad, leaving a mark is bad, hitting genitals or head is bad, etc.
Captain_A@reddit
In public schools, it is legal in 17 states and practiced in 12 of them.
Individual_Check_442@reddit
Definitely not in schools for quite a while, I was born in 1977 and there was definitely no physical punishment in schools by that time. My dad used to spank me with a belt, really it made a loud noise and was intimidating more than it actually hurt, but a lot of more modern parents would think that was crossing the line
Your mention of being brutally beaten with a stick reminds me of an incident around 10 years ago when NFL player Adrian Peterson beat his son pretty much exactly that way, the general consensus was that he was a child abuser but there were some people who defended that as acceptable discipline, or at least said their parents did that to them when they were kids and they didn’t see their parents as abusers.
Ms-Metal@reddit
It's still legal now in many states and it was definitely illegal and still being done in 77 because I was in a school that did it at that time. I don't know where you are getting your information, but it's completely wrong.
Individual_Check_442@reddit
Well I wasn’t in school in 77 that’s when I was born, where I am getting my information is from my personal experience, I got in my fair share of trouble and neither me or anyone I ever knew ever got physically disciplined at school, guess I don’t know if it was actually illegal or not just that it was never done. Maybe it changed between 77 and early to mid 80’s or maybe different states were different.
PaepsiNW@reddit
When I was a kid, normal to get spanked or hit with a belt. Now? Way less common and usually frowned upon
baalroo@reddit
When I was a child in the 80s, you could be sent to the principal's office and he would personally beat your ass with a wooden paddle.
Nowadays, it's mostly just the "conservative Christians" (and the same people supporting Trump and his fascism) who still advocating for physically abusing children as punishment.
The rest of us normal people think it's disgusting and only used by weak people who are bad with kids.
psychologicallyblue@reddit
Spanking is probably somewhat common, although I don't know anyone who does this. However, if you hit a child with a stick, with a closed fist, or hit them hard enough to leave a mark, this merits a child abuse report in my state.
Many professionals in the US are what we call mandated reporters (doctors, nurses, teachers, therapists, sports coaches, etc.) If any of these people suspect child abuse, by law we have to report it to either law enforcement or child protective services.
AnitaIvanaMartini@reddit
I never hit any of my kids, although I squeezed one’s thigh a bit too hard when she made her sister laugh by making a really loud fart noise at my uncle’s funeral. Frankly, most people laughed, I’ll give her that. She read the room.
bubbles_says@reddit
in my home living under darth vader i was beaten for having the wrong look on my face...but i'm pretty sure my parent was extreme and definitely not normal
ParadoxicalFrog@reddit
It was common as recently as maybe the 90s, but now we're shifting away from it. Corporal punishment is outlawed as a form of abuse in some states, and schools haven't allowed it in decades. Personally, I'm in my early 30s and no adult ever hit me. I turned out okay regardless.
AlabasterPelican@reddit
Opinions will vary from city to town to hamlet. Spanking are still pretty widely used where I live.
Shitp0st_Supreme@reddit
In Minnesota, corporal punishment such as hitting or striking a child is legally allowed UNLESS it leaves a mark on a child. If a child gets a bruise or injury, it is considered abuse.
Roboticpoultry@reddit
Growing up (early-mid 2000s) my brother and I would get spanked if we really fucked up but it was never excessive and we definitely learned our lessons. We’re both (relatively) well adjusted functioning members of society
Sweet_Cinnabonn@reddit
Viewed is a mixed bag. We have everything from spankings with objects to zero physical correction.
The most mainstream now is probably that for collagen old enough to reason, physical violence is a last resort.
No physical violence at all is becoming more and more common, especially as people don't know what the law allows.
Physical correction is largely unregulated.
In my state the rule is you cannot hit so hard you leave bruising. Welts that remained 24 hours later would also fall in that category.
MrsMitchBitch@reddit
Corporal punishment is illegal in my state. It is legal in many states however.
Shot_Construction455@reddit
It is still legal for corporal punishment at school in my state (Florida) but a parent can refuse to grant permission. I was disciplined physically to the point of abuse. So was my husband. It wast the only way I was abused by my parents. That being said, I'm determined to break the abuse cycle. My daughter is 16 and I've never laid a hand on her. When you know better you should do better.
musaXmachina@reddit
Depends on the state. Every state is different.
Federal-Employee-545@reddit
It's not a very popular form of punishment anymore, thankfully. Back in the 90s the parents would pop kids with belts and sandals. 😑 I am grateful my parents just used their words with us.
ATLien_3000@reddit
It was the norm as recently as 40 years ago give or take.
It's incredibly rare these days (despite not being illegal, particularly between parent and child).
feralflannelfeline@reddit
It’s child abuse.
Dry-Principle-9786@reddit
I am 28, my parents experienced physical punishment but I did not.
Feline-Sloth@reddit
Any parent who thinks it's normal to use physical violence against children to chastise them is passing on generational trauma!!!
DOMSdeluise@reddit
The legality of corporal punishment in schools depends on the state. Where I live, it is legal, but the school district I live in does not allow it as a matter of district policy.
Physical discipline of kids is generally viewed poorly and is not recommended by doctors.
ThatArtNerd@reddit
Very frowned upon and generally illegal
notthegoatseguy@reddit
Very poorly nowadays. Kind of tolerated in the 90s and maybe into the very early 2000s. More normal than it should've been in the 80s and before.