Has anyone else tried therapy and thought that this ain’t actually helping? - asking men

I'm a man who has had both positive and negative experiences with therapy. Thankfully the positives have outweighed the negatives.  I've written some things to consider below, some of which others have already said, but the most important thing is: discuss all of this with your therapist directly! If you aren't seeing any benefit, tell them and talk about it. If you don't think you are gelling with them as a therapist, tell them and talk about it. Finding the right therapist can be hard. It's (for obvious reasons) incredibly personal. Unless they are truly terrible, they will not be offended and will help you figure out what to do next. OK some other points: - do you know what you want out of therapy? If yes, make sure you've told your therapist; if no, discuss with them or decide by yourself then tell them - 10 sessions may not be enough to see significant benefits/improvements to your mental wellbeing, but it probably IS enough to know if you're likely to have a productive relationship with this particular therapist. For example I've struggled with therapists who are very cold/neutral; i need someone who has at least some level of humanity on show. Do you trust them? Are you comfortable opening up to them? If no, firstly do talk to them about it first, but consider changing therapist - as well as considering a different therapist, maybe a different modality would work better? Trying to understand the difference between different kinds of therapies is - at least in my experience - overwhelming and frustrating and opaque. But through conversations with therapists/others who've had therapy, you might find one or two things that you think you'll respond well to. Personally I look for humanistic and/or integrative therapists. There's a big list of different modalities here but if you find it overwhelming you're not alone!: https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/ - if you're using Better Help, don't bother. It is not worth it. Find someone reputable through the 'find a therapist' page on the BACP website - if it's online, try seeing someone face to face. - I almost replied directly to someone in this thread about this but I don't want to start beef: the idea that 'talking and empathy' is good for women, but men need a more 'practical' approach is horseshit. Or more specifically, it is misogynistic bioessentialist horseshit that floats around the manosphere to convince men that emotions are weakness and instead of learning to talk about your feelings you've got to do woodwork about them or something. You may find individual therapists who struggle to work with specific people/types of people, but 'therapy' is not gendered. Sorry for the rant but it's important. - studies show that on average the most effective treatment for anxiety/depression is a combination of medication and talking therapies. I'm not saying you should take meds - it's not right for everyone - but if you are struggling to talk about certain things in therapy because they're too painful or too buried; or if your day to day functioning is impaired because of your mood, then it might be worth considering. My personal experience is that meds gave me the stability I needed to actually be able to benefit from therapy. You may be different, this is not medical advice. - be kind to yourself. This stuff is hard. Good luck. Sorry for such a long post. tl;dr - talk to your therapist; maybe try a new therapist; keep trying