ULPT - How do I get out of a upcoming work trip without getting fired?

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Latter_Inspector_711@reddit

do it for the hotel status and flight miles

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vandon@reddit

Only if you check first that finance doesn't require you to turn in receipts after the trip.

Sometimes per diem is just use as you want and sometimes it needs receipts after and they'll want anything not used up or not authorized, like drinks.

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Silent_Technology540@reddit

If that’s the case always ask for a none itemised bill

That way the folks in the finance department can’t say shit and they’ll only see that you spent x amount on dinner

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TheGoodBunny@reddit

Per diem by definition doesn't require receipt. The second case you are describing is just expensed meals.

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zEdgarHoover@reddit

That's my understanding BUT a lot of companies seem to think it's just a cap on meals. Their game, their rules, they'd argue.

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hightechburrito@reddit

That’s why you don’t submit an itemized receipt, just the slip showing the total.

My employer doesn’t require receipts for meals under $15, so that’s what I expense for breakfast and lunch. They reimburse more if you provide a receipt, so for dinner I go out and just turn in the portion of the receipt showing the total.

What I eat on a work trip is none of my employers business.

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Latter_Inspector_711@reddit

never itemized

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

I get $50/day in my paycheck. No receipts.

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biokemfem@reddit

NICE!

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biokemfem@reddit

Depends on what expense report requirements are and whether they want itemized receipt or bottom/charge receipt. One company I worked for, they wanted the top receipt and you couldn’t apply for reimbursement if you didn’t have it.

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Infamous_Hyena_8882@reddit

I traveled a lot for my job. For 21 years I was flying. In any given month, I might be home for four days. I saw more of the world on somebody else’s money than most people will see in their lifetime. I would just make the best of it. It’s really hard on family to be gone that long. But if you’re on your own, make a vacation out of it.

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rora_borealis@reddit

I traveled weekly on the client's dime, but it was one of the most boring places I could imagine. I tried to make something of it, but the best I could do was find good BBQ.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

My first 20yr career consisted of exactly this. Always on the move. I’ve traveled the world. More than 5 years of it has been on the ocean. Not on cruises haha. The other 15years, well, I wasn’t home much. Probably more home days than you though. 4 days a month is hard.

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biokemfem@reddit

Same for me. Had to spend months in second and third world countries for about two years. I knocked off every bucket list country and more. Have only traveled to two on my own. Everything else, paid for entirely - even business class flights.

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biokemfem@reddit

Not unethical tip (I know I’m gonna get a fuck ton of downvotes on this)…

…but you never know what could come out of the training. I’ve been in your situation many times, went anyway and was able to network, found some stuff to enjoy, etc. was always happy when I came home. The inertia sucks sometimes.

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Vortex_Analyst@reddit

This is what I don't get. Why the hell would you not just go? Networking your career is huge. Most people sit on this idea but it is how I found a healthy 6 fig job working remote.

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DeadpoolRideUnicorns@reddit

Nice came hear to say this but added unethical way to do it in another post I did

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biokemfem@reddit

Usually I get dragged in this subreddit. 😆

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DeadpoolRideUnicorns@reddit

Well every time they drag you just let them know about bofadeez nuts you gonna drag accross there face and set bofa on there chin

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biokemfem@reddit

There was one incident on here, I got bullied even in the DMs. Was blocking/reporting so many people - one person threatened physical harm. Probably wasn’t legitimate because he would have to have left his mom’s basement but it was fucking scary.

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iLikeAza@reddit

Yeah I was going to say this. The tip is to go & use it to your advantage. Research other options in that area, network, get to know others in your field

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metalflygon08@reddit

The networking alone could be worth way more than what their employer paid to send them.

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biokemfem@reddit

Especially in this economy/job market.

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kungfungus@reddit

Wife had a miscarriage. Or, you ofc if you are a female. There will be no follow-up questions

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biokemfem@reddit

Retirement mentioned being soon, not sure if that’s a good look. 😆

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kungfungus@reddit

Loool, hilarious!! I fucking read only the problem and skipped the rest. Well any younger female in the fam do.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

😲🤔 unethical ✔️ Obviously lots of these responses are unethical but I’m not going through and check marking all of them.

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dameglio22@reddit

Just go I know tons of people that would want to do a month of training and not have to actually work. Unless it’s a bad location or you have young kids.

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BeardsuptheWazoo@reddit

They're saying they don't want to go.

But sure, you know best for... Their life.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Fr. I said somewhere in the comments that I’m early retiring next year. I’m not networking for shit unless someone I meet owns a resort.

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biokemfem@reddit

You never know if you get stir crazy and want to consult or you run out of money - my dad is back working from stir craziness. Another person I know, he lost all his money for a bunch of different reasons and had to go back to work full time.

Hopefully the latter doesn’t happen…

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the advice!

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BeardsuptheWazoo@reddit

A month

Fuck. That.

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biokemfem@reddit

Free food you don’t have to cook, hotel room that gets cleaned for you. I travel a lot for work and hate going to the airport every goddamn time but I remind myself it’s food I don’t have to buy and it’s way less mess to clean up in a hotel room.

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Agreeable_Sorbet_686@reddit

Suck it up. You're supposed to be a professional.

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_robmillion_@reddit

In my professional opinion, work sucks... Bad.

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Agreeable_Sorbet_686@reddit

Find a new job. But go on this trip. Learn something. Expense you dinner and hotel. Make this trip work for you.

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_robmillion_@reddit

There are two huge problems associated with "finding a new job":

1) looking for a job may suck even more than the current job.

2) when you're finished looking for a job, you have to go to work. And we've already established that work sucks.

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biokemfem@reddit

Don’t forget the hustle when you first start to prove yourself…

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Indeed.

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bogeypro@reddit

C. diff

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Oof. Extreme.

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bogeypro@reddit

Oh, then you want r/EthicalLifeProTips

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Haha. So how does one “procure” a c. diff?

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biokemfem@reddit

You don’t want it. Sometimes it’s a rest of life bullshit situation.

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bogeypro@reddit

Um, this is unethical. You just lie and say you have it. It is so contagious they do not want you near anyone. Hand sanitizer does not kill it. I'm sure you could pay some online doctor to write you a note.

I read the thread, you are retiring soon. It might be time to let the cat out of the bag, have your company send someone that could use the training in the future. That would be the best way out of the trip.

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LadyDestiny1@reddit

Thus will hurt you in the company forever if you don’t go. Suck it up and go!

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Somehow I think we both would make it through

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Grand_Accountant_159@reddit

You don't fly, you have aviophobia. You're comfortable with driving though and if the company wants to rent a car and pay for your expenses and lodging you'll do it.

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ericdraven26@reddit

Don’t do this. Regardless of the “proper” response, and validity of phobias, your employer is absolutely going to hate “I’m too scared” as a reason and it will not go well for you long term.

Many other answers here are better- faking an emergency or medical issue is miles better

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BrazosBuddy@reddit

I live in Texas and had a conference in Ohio last summer. I don’t fly. I’m terribly claustrophobic. My employer paid for extra nights on the road so I could drive.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Cool!

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Grand_Accountant_159@reddit

I threw it out there, I assume OP will read the comments and pick the best one based on upvotes. Covid is winning, might work depending on if the bosses of his company lean left.

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crabbman@reddit

Not sure if this will help but tell them you have your period

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

I don’t think they’ll believe this one. Thanks for the response!

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East_Bed_8719@reddit

Say you have COVID

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Just--kiddin@reddit

And Herpes, for bonus points let them know they might want to get checked since you've been kissing their SO.

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UterineDictator@reddit

Was this a witty reply in your mind?

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Comfortable_Wall8028@reddit

How about going, do a few days and then have to go home for a family emergency. You don't look bad as you willingly went, so no chance of getting fired.

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Danny_ODevin@reddit

I like this idea the best. Just make sure to pack a month's worth of luggage to avoid suspicion.

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Coloradojeepguy@reddit

Medical or personal emergencies is the only thing I can think of. And even then your employer may still secretly hold a grudge even though it’s illegal.

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Agreeable_Sorbet_686@reddit

They may require documentation.

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DeadpoolRideUnicorns@reddit

Use this time to take a course or 2 and run experiments with body language/psychology to hack or destroy your way into having a amazing or ok network with Chris Voss , Vanessa van Edward's and chase Hugh's or and charisma on command .

In short network but doing it this way makes it a kinda mabe unethical way to get goowd at networking also mabe quarter kinda run experiments on your coworkers

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WesTxStoner425@reddit

If you truly don't want to go, let your boss know you're"contemplating" retiring soon, and that it would be a waste to send you. Encourage them to send someone who's staying/ your replacement that might benefit from the training. Just be honest.

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Green_Yesterday3054@reddit

OP is 23 years old

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

About 30 off haha. I’m actually -6.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

I appreciate the responses so far. I left out of my story that I’m early retiring next year. The company doesn’t know that yet. But just another reason this training does little for me.

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hightechburrito@reddit

If you’re retiring next year, I’m assuming your kids are grown, or you don’t have any kids.

Is it at least in an interesting area? Have your SO or a friend join you for part of the trip. They can spend the days your in class exploring and then you join on the weekends.

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Popular-Drummer-7989@reddit

OP take the time in class to do research fun things to retire TO for your retirement.

Make side trips in that area to see if it's a place or places nearby you might want to retire to.

Sightsee. There may be some cool stuff to do there while it's on the company dime.

When I traveled I regret not taking ballroom dance classes (then). I say in my hotel bored to death. I highly recommend you look at that as a social activity when you know you're never meeting these people again (unless you want to) and you're investing in something you might be good at and continue into retirement. It's never too late to learn!

You could totally make this an awesome experience.

It's hard to shift gears but you get the hang of it after a while.

Have fun!!

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Optimal-Air5880@reddit

Use sick days? Get FMLA?

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Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

I had a two month with thing years ago. I went and signed up for a gym a month at a time and got into really good shape.

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Mackheath1@reddit

What do single people with pets do (I know that's not your situation, but) I was thinking what I'd have to do to depart for a month.

Your situation highly depends on where you are and how big your country is (i.e. if you live in Slovenia, you can easily take a weekend break to go home).

ULPT: just say you're going, spend two days, and then find a template certificate, print it out, enjoy your month off at home, present the certificate to your employer, and add those letters to the end of your signature.

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lux_painted@reddit

Board their pets or have friends/family take care of them. Cats and fish you just need someone to check in every few days.

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Mackheath1@reddit

Hmmm... Maybe OP can say she/he has 4 horses, 3 dogs, 2 cats, and a partridge in a pear tree just to get out of going. Dunno. Boarding just one dog is prohibitively expensive and unless someone's retired, not a lot of people want to take on a month of it. I do recall having a person who lived with roommates live in my house when I was gone for a month, so he got out of a congested situation for free and took care of my pets. But I guess OP is more interested in not going than these things.

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Comfortable_Wall8028@reddit

You're a horrible cat owner if you leave them alone for a few days. Anything could happen in that time and you wouldnt know it. Always have someone visit daily.

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Mackheath1@reddit

I... don't leave cats alone for a few days; I had a person staying with them full time??

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DoubleDelsewhere@reddit

Shit your pants.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

The whole time?

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_robmillion_@reddit

If your boss isn't the type to look too deeply into it, you can probably find a house-arrest ankle cuff on eBay or something. Tell the boss you're under house arrest and only allowed to be at home or at work.

Alternatively, if the boss is likely to check into it, go out and get caught committing a crime that is likely to actually land you in house arrest.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

House arrest would be funny

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militiadisfruita@reddit

your pipes froze...the whole neighborhood's pipes froze. construction will be ongoing for 30 days.

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Miami_Mice2087@reddit

"I'm sorry but I can't go, I have family obligations" meaning child care but you can also make vaugue suggestions about elderly parents or grandparents who you are the primary caregiver for. Just be like, "I have family obligations and they cannot be left alone for a day, let alone a month."

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JS_NYC_208@reddit

go.... its for your career. Don't burn bridges

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Edgar_Brown@reddit

Is it at least near a nice place?

Can you bring your significant other along for at least a week and make a vacation out of it?

You can always get the flu or Covid once you are there.

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Rachel_Silver@reddit

Get shitfaced drunk, go to the ER (do notdrive), and say you want to check into a detox.

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herdofcorgis@reddit

Get a medical excuse as to why you can’t fly/be away from home/etc. Or one for an elderly family member.

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Everyone telling me to go: you’re not wrong. Valid points that I agree with and realize are true but I still don’t want to go haha. Inevitably I’ll end up going and will find ways to enjoy it. This post was a shot in the dark. Thanks again!

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OkHat2261@reddit (OP)

Ewww haha

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Grayshirt64@reddit

Exposed to Covid recently. Don't want to risk others.

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Lucky-Technology-174@reddit

Say that you are having an IBS or Chron’s disease flare up and you need to be near a toilet.