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How does sex life work for men who work away during the week?

Posted by MrMrsPotts@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 80 comments

Does the wife have to ready for sex every Saturday without fail? How does it work in practice?

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80 Comments

Wonderful-Cow-9664@reddit

There isn’t a rule that all couple must follow…
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

If the wife isn't in the mood on that day then he hasn't had sex in at least two weeks. Isn't that fatal for a marriage?
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Laescha@reddit

For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health... but three whole weeks without sex?!?! Now that's real hardship amirite
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

The problem is that is a permanent state of affairs.
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xxMegaBabexx@reddit

I think it says more about you that a week or two without sex leads to affairs.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Note, you are the only person to mention affairs. But I was wondering if it puts unbearable pressure on the relationship.
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xxMegaBabexx@reddit

I'm not the only one saying. I was replying to you saying it.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I have at no point mentioned affairs.
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xxMegaBabexx@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/uefa1gd31ibg1.jpeg?width=1006&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a2834df170d49654fb358b196fcc75396b814eb
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

Agree 100%.
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

If the husband makes his wife have sex when she isn’t in the mood, isn’t that fatal for a marriage?
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

It is! That's why I am asking how couples handle this in practice.
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

By accepting sex only happens when they’re both in the mood. Hate to break it to you but even couples who are together 24/7 are not all getting sex on a weekly basis.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

That's sad. I would hope that healthy couples had sex at least once a week.
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

Good sex is about mutual intimacy and desire. It’s not about “it’s been a week so we better pencil it in.” Real life gets in the way of intimacy desire, but forgetting that’s what sex is actually about and making it a routine thing like cleaning the toilet is actually what is sad.
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Wonderful-Cow-9664@reddit

“Then *he* hasn’t had sex in at least two weeks” Got to love how you’re putting the man’s desires front and centre and taking about “the wife” like she’s sub human without any sense rights of her own. Don’t get married. Seriously. Not unless you can time travel back to the 50’s and bring in a wage decent enough to command respect
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

She has complete autonomy, of course. I am just talking about happy relationships and how they work in this situation.
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mcf74@reddit

Fatal attraction 
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Basic-Pudding-3627@reddit

Fatal? lol.
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clickyclicky456@reddit

What a weird question. They have sex when they're both in the mood, just like in any other relationship.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Sure. The problem is if there's only one opportunity a week
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

If there's only one opportunity a week then you either take it or you dont.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Yes, of course. But it doesn't answer the question.
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

Do you want to have an affair because you're not getting enough sex - is that what this post is about?
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Negative. It's interesting how people are jumping to conclusions.
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clickyclicky456@reddit

Are you looking for us to tell you that all men who work away cheat on their wives or hire prostitutes? Genuinely, what is difficult about this question??
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I was wondering a few things. First, does it put unbearable pressure on the person at home. Second, is it a cause for couples to split up. Etc
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I_am_legend-ary@reddit

Then they still only have sex if they are both in the mood
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

Good lord have i time travelled back to the 1950s here?? What kind of post is this? If you cant have a grown up conversation about sex with your spouse, but have to come online & ask complete strangers - then what kind of relationship do you have?
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I am not a man who works away during the week. But I still don't think anyone hasn't answered the question.
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

Are you the wife? or the husband in this scenario?
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GuybrushFunkwood@reddit

Hookers and porn mags found stashed in bushes
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Did people hide prostitutes in bushes??
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Serious-Fail-5486@reddit

Down to the two involved in the relationship to come to arrangement that attempts to result in mutual satisfaction
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Yes. I just worrry about the pressure it must put on the person at home.
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Serious-Fail-5486@reddit

A simple conversation would alleviate pressure
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EasyCheesecake1@reddit

If you can't go give days without sex I'd say seek help.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I wasn't suggesting anyone owes anyone sex. I was asking how couples cope with the pressure.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Do you mean 14 days?
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EasyCheesecake1@reddit

You've lost me now and I'm not sure if you're just trolling people.
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CautiousCapsLock@reddit

I had to re read your question a few times to understand it, but I I’m thinking you have an ideal view of married life! The wife is ready when you both say or communicate you are, it’s not just coming home to your wife spread eagle on the bed 😅
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I agree. The problem is there is only one opportunity per week.
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PuzzleheadedLow6329@reddit

So take it or dont... only the two of you cant decide. Dont you two talk??
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

What year do you think this is?
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

There are a lot of men who work away all week in 2025/26.
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

Yes, but most of them understand that their wife doesn’t have to give them sex on demand.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Right. But in that case there will regularly be weeks when they are not having sex.
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Drath101@reddit

When we both worked shifts, this was the case. Neither of us were overjoyed about the situation but that's life isn't it? We're not working shifts anymore which is good, but if we went back to it we'd love each other the same.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

You sound like a really great couple.
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DotCottonCandy@reddit

So? That’s life.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I guess so
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EasyCheesecake1@reddit

What's wrong? Sex isn't meant to be a scheduled chore and you come across like a nineteenth century creep who expects to be serviced.
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split-tennisball@reddit

I don't think that's what they were referring. More your way of thinking.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Can you explain? Couples still want to have happy sex lives.
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split-tennisball@reddit

I don't think you're asking this honestly so I'm not going to bother.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I am!
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clickyclicky456@reddit

r/whoosh
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AF_II@reddit

>Does the wife have to ready for sex every Saturday without fail? Marriage doesn't mean perpetual consent. No one "has to" have sex with anyone. Every couple will manage this differently; it won't even be the same week on week or year on year, needs and urges and tiredness and randyness aren't stable. You use your words and figure it out like adults.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Sure. But if there is only one opportunity per week that seens pretty high pressure.
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AF_II@reddit

LOL I gave you benefit of the doubt but I see you're shitposting. I forgot that as good Christians we can't have sex on Sunday (and that all men who work away come back to "a wife" and not a husband, of course). Jog on.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Sigh. Is it worth mentioning I didn't know Christians don't have sex on Sundays? That seems odd as Orthodox Jews definitely have sex on Friday evening.
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ImpressiveGift9921@reddit

Bro time travelled from the 50's.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

But what does that mean here? Plenty of men work away during the week and couples still have sex lines.
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LittleSadRufus@reddit

Your phrasing about the woman having to be ready, like she only exists as a vessel for a man's penis... and the implication women need to be pre-prepared to tolerate the act in a way that men do not. Just your phasing I guess, but it serves a solid 50:50 mix of 1950s and incel energy.   Everyone I know who works away during the week leaves on the Monday morning and comes back either Wednesday or Thursday evening. So the female parties (some of whom are the ones working away, of course, as it's not 1952 anymore) have at least three full days, one evening and one morning in which to endure the suffering of intercourse. 
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

That's a much better setup. I was thinking where you l leave on Sunday night and come back Friday night it Saturday morning.
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Friendly_External345@reddit

I pop round and sort your missus out while your away. No need to thank me
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AquaticBagpipe@reddit

OP getting sent to the oil rigs
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Noooooo
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NotThatNeurotic@reddit

Uhh sex should not be an obligation, you do it because you both want to. Wtf
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

Yes. But if there is only one opportunity per week that means not being in the mood for that one day implies two weeks without sex.
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split-tennisball@reddit

The weekend is more than one day
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

I guess that depends on when he comes back from work and if you have kids.
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NotThatNeurotic@reddit

Ma'am I'm a Redditor it's been two years since I've last had sex.
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Jumpy_Imagination208@reddit

You go for the once per year option; when husband takes annual leave and is home for a week. He does have to treat her to an expensive holiday and meal out first though.
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pearshaped34@reddit

Usually the wife is tired off all the mid week sex with her lover so she’s in bed with a “headache” while the husband cleans the house she was too busy to clean during the week.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

That's makes sense. Tired and sore no doubt.
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GeggingIn@reddit

“The wife”.
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MrMrsPotts@reddit (OP)

What would be a better term? It was just for conciseness.
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cryptonuggets1@reddit

What an odd post! My woman has the sex ready when I need it.
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