Anyone else going through this?

Posted by Techghetto@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 475 comments

Wondering how I got here. How did time fly so fast and how did I miss all those experiences? Why didn’t I travel more? Why didn’t I make more memories? Been having these thoughts lately and I don’t like it. On the outside, everyone thinks I’m half and Jovial. Always telling dad jokes and going to the gym, but not feeling like it matters.

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475 Comments

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mfeldman88@reddit

It's gotta be talked about more. Most are, I'd imagine

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I honestly feel like I need to start a Gen X support group. We can all meet at the local patio bar and have some schooners and discuss the future. Seriously !

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mfeldman88@reddit

Sign me up

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PJFrye@reddit

“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown Waiting for someone or something to show you the way Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun” -Pink Floyd

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Gloomy-Database4885@reddit

And I'm outside in the dark Staring at the blood red moon Remembering the hopes and dreams I had And all I had to do And wondering what became of that boy And the world he called his own I'm outside in the dark Wondering how I got so old It's all gone, it's all gone Nothing left of all I loved It all feels wrong It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone No hopes, no dreams, no world No, I, I don't belong No, I don't belong here It's all gone, it's all gone I will lose myself in time It won't be long It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone Left alone with nothing at the end of every song Left alone with nothing at the end of every song Left alone with nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing

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leche_lover89@reddit

We are saying these things because we were more focused on our responsibilities and "getting the job done" than actually enjoying life. Now that the kids are adults, we all need to start living before time runs out.

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politicssuk@reddit

I think this is a huge component. As a teen we all talked about the cool things we’d do when we grew up. Then we did. Kids came along, and with those came responsibility. Finally they grow up and move out, and we’re left without that “burden”. For me, I’ve started to feel the urge to feed my desires again; explore, travel, “live” a bit for Me. I want to take time to remember why my wife and I got together in the first place. Without the sense of purpose that goes along with parenting, caring for others, my internal compass has turned to caring for myself

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foxy_sisyphus@reddit

I feel this, I think about aging all the time. I have regrets but I also can understand why I made the choices I did. I've lived in several cities, had a lot of fun, did some traveling but very much want to do more. Please book a trip immediately!! I feel bad for my mom, who is in her mid-70s and never left the country and has barely traveled domestically. I hate to say it's too late now but given her limitations, I really think it is. Get out and explore a part of the world. I have hip and leg problems from scoliosis and on a trip to italy a few months ago, I thought at first, fuck, I can't do this, I should have come here five years ago. But I did it. My point is, don't wait, you'll only be older tomorrow. I started doing standup comedy at 51 years old and deeply regret not starting (at least) 20 years ago. In your 30s and even 40s, you always think, "I should do this someday" but in my 50s (I just turned 54), I see the stark reality of how little "someday" I have to develop or make things happen. I know people around my age who say, "I've been thinking about trying standup, too" and I'm like, what in god's name are you waiting for??? It takes years to get good at standup. I try to not think about aging so much and just cherish the time I have but it's hard.

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grimmwerks@reddit

I’ve thought about trying this myself - and I’m good on stage, quick witted with conversation — but just draw a blank when I think about actually doing it. Was it hard? How are you doing now?

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foxy_sisyphus@reddit

I'm doing ok! it's really hard. It's about writing but it seems many people just think comics go on stage and riff off the top of their heads. There are crowd work-specific comics but most write actually jokes. Read up on how to turn your stories into jokes and or take an improv or standup class if you can. i didn't do the class route but it does have some benefits. Just don't think that a showcase with your friends and family is reflective of a real audience with strangers. There are a million nuances to it. It's a very interesting art form!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Good for you!!

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Ron_Cheee@reddit

I turned 61 in September and I just had my 80 yo dad pass. It does seem like the older we get the faster time goes by. One of the things I've wanted to do is to get what is called my Iron Butt certificate, one has to ride their motorcycle 1,000 miles in 24 hours then there is one that is an extension of that ride for another 500 miles but there's an added 12 hours to it. This is what I'm shooting for. This summer I'm making it happen. This is my number 1 bucket list item. Been to Sturgis, seen Mt. Rushmore, been to California and saw the Red wood Forest, huge trees, slept in a treehouse that was built around a tree, the trunk ran straight through the cabin. All of this was done in the last 20 years while I rode my Harley. I consider myself very lucky to have had these experiences but at the same time a lot of the guys I grew up with are here in memory only. So I just try to do what's right and live each day like it's my last. I'm not ready for this ride to be over.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man that sounds like a plan!!

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Ron_Cheee@reddit

Thanks

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Cold-Guidance6433@reddit

Yes, to a degree. My husband was recently diagnosed with a progressive, disabling condition. I always thought “when we retire…” but it looks like that may not be a thing anymore. Now it’s feelings of “we should have done more when we could” instead of working away the last two decades, thinking we’d have time someday. Life can be so damned cruel sometimes.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

This is what life can do to us sometimes. I’m sorry.

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honey-squirrel@reddit

Kinda...but it's never too late until you're dead. Consider the advice of psychologist Adam Grant, who suggests starting a "Personal Contribution Journal," (as opposed to a gratitude journal). The focus is active not passive: what you did for others, not what you are grateful for having received. At the end of each day, list 3+ ways you made a positive impact, however small (e.g., helped a colleague, donated food). He said his research showed it increases motivation, purpose, and connection. Might be worth a try.

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Altruistic_Ad5444@reddit

That is such a great idea. I'm getting a fresh notebook out for it soon.

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mossum_1242@reddit

I love this!

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Rtruex1986@reddit

I love the way you think. I get so much more happiness from giving than receiving. I don’t mean I dislike receiving though. Lol

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Mindfully_Searching@reddit

Thnx, I've never heard about this. I like the motivation aspect.

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chaosrulz0310@reddit

Good prescription to have, my doctors just give me drugs and lectures. Have you ever been adventurous? You can do one big adventure a month and/or smaller ones every week, something off the wall like I still want to go axe throwing and jump out of a plane. Pick an off the wall place to eat that you normal wouldn’t go and try different food. If you can afford it (cause when did they get so expensive) put together a model car or Lego set - son recommends getting the Concord, I recommend him getting a job to afford it. My parents say easy adventures though not always fruitful adventures to have is to following the stupid roadside landmark signs/markers. They did that once stopped at everyone they saw between TN and AZ. Pick a spot on the map, within a day or so drive, don’t plan anything and just drive there. I drive 4 hours for a salad or 4 hours to go to a restaurant that throws rolls at you. Take the small steps out of your comfort zone/rut you feel you might be in. It makes the bigger ones easier. I mean most days just leaving the house has the potential to be an adventure because people are crazy.

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ShadowsPrincess53@reddit

I turned 56 on Sunday, I was unimpressed lol. I may not have seen the world, but I have done things that made me happy. I learned how to love myself, over the years, by going through things that were scary, sad, fun, and the worst, loss. I lost 20 friends, before I was 55. It’s not the things you did not do, it’s the things you did that matter, and you aren’t done yet I hope.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thank you for this. I’m getting a lot of great advice. I’ve done a lot of wonderful things with my family that made me very very happy. I had so many great memories with my children and still plan on having many more! I work in healthcare and one of the nurses Goes on a cruise every year and makes a deposit for the next cruise right after she comes back from her cruise. She makes about half as much money as I do, so I can’t make the excuse that I don’t have enough money to take more trips.I’m really planning on making this change soon.

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ShadowsPrincess53@reddit

It is my pleasure to help, I am glad if this eased even a tiny bit of your struggle. Hubbs and I just bought a house last year and the people were less than honest about it. Wayyy less! We call the (4 steps down barely lower) lower half “Boiler Room 6” it flooded 3 times. To be fair the worst was Hurricane Helene. 12 inches of water and no power for the neighborhood. ( we are prepared for these no power events) So… Basically the “new” house ate over $60K in immediate repair cost. Maybe a cruise in 2027. 😁 (There are so many other things that had to be fixed I did not list them all)

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Omg!!!!

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ShadowsPrincess53@reddit

We are still smiling and making this our own. No sense in being sad or mad it is what it is right, and I have awesome ideas for a poured floor!

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bonesthadog@reddit

I don't know, maybe it's me, but I have lived an exciting and memorable life so far. I just turned 50 yesterday and feel 30, except recovery after lifting takes double the amount of time now. Yes, life does feel monotonous sometimes, but try to find the little things that make you feel good and memories will be formed. Get multiple hobbies, but not chores. Try new foods. Life is what you make it and it's never too late to create meaningful memories.

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Han_Schlomo@reddit

50m I didnt travel more because scarcity mentality, being a single dad, and living beyond my means meant I worked 2 or more jobs from the time I was 20, until mid 30s. Then I became an "entrepreneur" and then I shit on every close relationship I ever have. I created memories, I just don't remember them. We didnt have phones to constantly take photos. My memories are a copy, of a copy, of my perspective, filtered through an idealized version of hope and some actual events. Memories die when you die. So who cares? Time didnt move by any faster. I just did more and more and more and more mundane things. Im scared shitless. My biggest fear is im going to die without my house being finished, and being broke. Why?! I have just enough time to eat great food, have sex a few times a week and watch 80s cartoons. Life is great. We are just old and scared and hyperfixate on non important things.

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chaosrulz0310@reddit

I made and continue to make wonderful memories, but yes there are chances I wish I had taken or things that I wished I’d done or not done when I was younger but since there is no sense on dwelling on what I cannot change I just have to let it go, otherwise it depresses me. I also look at it this way I wouldn’t change any choices that would change having my kids or the friendships I have now, some lifelong. Now financially I would change a hell of a lot. After a couple of strokes and other health issues I decided I am not too old to do things I always wanted to do. I started college in 2025 ( still think I lost my mind here), I would travel more but my bank account says no to that but me and my bestie (and soul sister) still find time for road trips which turn into accidental adventures from getting lost in the woods to almost running out of gas in the middle of the desert. My kids, bestie and her kid and my parents who are retired still have fun family vacations. Basically its never too late for you to do the things you want, things that bring you joy and happiness,. Cram as much joy and fun into your life as you can afford to and are physically able to.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I wanna be You when I grow up…

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chaosrulz0310@reddit

Never grown up, I discovered it’s not fun so I decided I am going to be 25 forever.

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bellablissful@reddit

My therapist prescribed me to have one adventure a month. I think I might need to up my dosage

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Gen-X-Moderator@reddit

I realized recently that duty replaced desire in my life. It seems this is a similar occupation for many Gen Xers who grew up as the emotionally stable one in a chaotic home. I've been caring for people who could not fully function my entire life. This is the gravity pull of my existence. I specialize in obligation. What would I be without it? For me, there was also moral and religious formation, which dicated duty. I missed a lot of experiences b/c I was focused on purity and goodness. I'm sure this means I missed bad things, but also, as you said, I didn't make the memories I wish I had. When I traveled, I went to see family or took my children places they wanted to go. When I announced to my family that I wanted to take three weeks off this summer to backpack across Europe -- something I wanted to do when I was 21, they looked at me like I'd forgotten who I was supposed to be. It's not too late to be who you were born to be or go where you want to go. Just can't do it young, now, or see the world as you would have then. Carry on, Xer. There'll be peace when you are done. ;)

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Dense_Race5150@reddit

Guys, I’m a millennial and reading these comments is eye opening. If im too young to be here, please be kind. I just turned 40 and have been going through what I can only imagine is a mid life crisis. Alzheimer’s runs in my family, I asked my husband to please promise me he would honor my wishes of assisted suicide. I don’t want to live like that once the diagnosis is made, it’s rampant in my family on both sides. My mom’s siblings all have it, both her parents had it. All of my great aunts and uncles had it. Im likely going to have it as well. Anyway, I’ve been trying to take the trips. I pay for memory storage and have over 60k photos of my kids and all the memories we have made.I’ve always worked 2/3 jobs to make ends meet, this year I’m putting myself first for the first time and it’s scary. I think I may have a good 20-25 years left, if science and research progresses in the Alzheimer’s field, maybe 30 good years. I want to live with what I’ve left. 30 years seems like so little now.

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DoesthislookrighttoU@reddit

I'd like to think that we've been on this planet long enough to know ourselves pretty well by now, so when my mind goes there I remind myself that I didn't travel more because I don't like traveling. I didn't 'have those experiences' because there were probably a million other people there and I don't like crowds either. It's OK to have a non-exciting life if that's what you want.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I can’t stand crowded places either. My wife and daughter just got back from a high school trip to New York and as they describe how “awesome“ it was, all I could think of is how much anxiety I would’ve had being shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of nasty people! My idea of “awesome “time is sitting on the side of the lake under a shade tree with or without a fishing pole in my hand, with or without a beer with some country music playing.

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Former_Ring_9870@reddit

I was with you until that last sentence. I cannot listen to country, with the exception being Bluegrass.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’m from TX. It’s kind of a requirement to like country music 😂

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2furrycatz@reddit

I can confirm. I was married to a Texan. Even this island girl who grew up with Journey, Foreigner, Scorpions, and Def Leppard got into it. Except that was in the late 90s-early 00s. Most of the country music now sounds like pop with a southern accent

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Heck yes!

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CianGal13@reddit

I am right there with you. It’s hard to follow your dreams when you don’t have any $$

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Honestly, my happy place does not require much money. I just need a LAKE, maybe a boat, couple of alcoholic beverages, country, music, nice green grass under me, maybe a bologna sandwich with Doritos inside, nice comfy chair, and maybe a fishing pole in my hand. That, along with a nice shade tree and a slight breeze.

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Crivens999@reddit

Nice. I’ve always lived by the sea. I have a view of it, and can get there in a minute. Also live where there is an average of 320 sunny days a year apparently. And it’s pretty quiet. These things tick most boxes for me at my age. It used to be living on a city, but now I just want calm and the sea. Kinda understand my parents now when they moved us to the middle of nowhere when I was kid. There was nothing there, but the sea was over there

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2furrycatz@reddit

Yep, I live 2 blocks from the ocean. I don't go nearly as often as I used to, but I know it's there

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Crivens999@reddit

Yeah, I come from an island in Wales, and Boxing Day walks along the beach are slightly different to now (Cyprus) where it can be 20c+. Nice

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man you’re lucky.

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Crivens999@reddit

2025 was a nightmare year, probably my worst ever, and we aren’t in the clear yet, but living where we live helps quite a bit

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

It would help me. Hey if I make myself very sad and I need man it would always help me ! Hope 2026 is much better for yall!

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Crivens999@reddit

Ta, appreciate it

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exceptionallyprosaic@reddit

That all sounds like it would cost a lot of money. Doritos are almost $6 a bag these days

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Gotta splurge

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Former_Ring_9870@reddit

Dude. I was watching the Rockford marathon the other day and Angel walked into Rockford’s kitchen and fixed himself a sandwich with roast beef, lettuce, tomato and mayo—I got to thinking about how good food used to taste back then-do you remember when lettuce actually had flavor and didn’t just taste like crunchy water? I thought about how awesome my mom’s cooking was and of course about how much I miss my 1975 Firebird Formula. Friggin’ nostalgia.

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mandmranch@reddit

Thats a couple million right there,

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CianGal13@reddit

I get you the n that one. I live 4 blocks from a redwood forest and go walking/hiking there as often as I can

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Love that!

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exceptionallyprosaic@reddit

And then even if you have the $$, you might not have the healthy body you need to enjoy it , like me.

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Crivens999@reddit

Yeah, I come from an island in Wales, and Boxing Day walks along the beach are slightly different to now (Cyprus) where it can be 20c+. Nice

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AstraCraftPurple@reddit

I should have tried harder to get a career and relationships. I pushed it all aside in depression and now even that feels depressing.

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2furrycatz@reddit

I know a couple that met in their early 70s and they are madly in love and keep each other young

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mybloodyballentine@reddit

That’s not your fault. You had/have an illness, one that can be very hard to treat. I know it’s not fair, but this is where we are. We have plenty of time. I know that careers and relationships can be a young person’s game, but there’s time for experiences and fulfillment.

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Amazing_Weird3597@reddit

I feel like I open my eyes and it's Monday, then I blink and it's Friday. Rinse and repeat🫠 I totally feel like is this it? I busted my ass just to still be doing it now?😑

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lezbianlinda@reddit

I just wish I had gone through with being a hippy dead head. I just could let myself "go" that much. I'm sad about how much I just worked and made sure I had money instead of just following my dreams. I wish I had not gotten an office job 30 years ago and I just made pottery. I wish I had made a studio and did it full time. So many regrets. I wish I had not tried so hard to stay stable. Now I just want to blow up my life and ruin away from everything.

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unrepentantlibboomer@reddit

I'm a gen Jones boomer. Turning 50 (20 years ago) was my worse year. Looking back now, my life was going fine. At the time, I felt like I should have experienced so much more, done so much more. I think it was the driving factor in hubby and I quitting our office jobs and going to truck driving school. We bought a truck and team drove for the next 8 years. Now, at 70, I am still enjoying new adventures and experiences. My life was good at 50, I just felt it should be more in some undefinable way. Don't make the drastic changes we did, just recognize that you could if you wanted to. You're still young and have a lot ahead of you. Your kids will become adults, maybe you'll have grandkids, maybe you'll travel, maybe you'll ______ fill in the blank for yourself.

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Rather_C_than_B_1@reddit

THERE'S STILL TIME!!! We're only 3/5 of the way through this ride. (in theory)

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Better_Resort1171@reddit

I missed a lot as well. 2008, for me, was the beginning of the end

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

If you don’t mind me asking, what happened in 2008?

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BrotherQuartus@reddit

Big financial crisis probably. It wiped out retirement savings for quite a few of us.

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Evolvingsimian@reddit

At 70 and I look back thinking, it was never the right time or the expense was too much at the time. A thousand excuses. Now, there's no money for anything. Do what you can today, while you might. The speed of time increases with age.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thank you for this. I’m seeing that more and more each day / week/ year

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AttemptingToGeek@reddit

Well I travelled early and often, had many adventures, lovers, experiences and lived a life a lot of people wish they did. But I still get that feeling and I’m still full of regrets, and wondering what matters, too. Don’t know if that helps.

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brookish@reddit

Same. Traveled and had so many exciting jobs and experiences and now I feel like i should have settled down sometimes but … I’d rather have had an interesting life than a safe one. Just hard to remember that when retirement is a distant fantasy.

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MisterFlyer2019@reddit

Every day dude. I wake up at 4am every night to this, not kidding.

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Ray_The_Engineer@reddit

I've traveled done quite a bit...but I do think back to my adolescence and my 20's and wish I'd taken more risks, socially. I was shy, and probably missed out on some friendships and adventures with the opposite sex. You don't realize at that point how limited your life really is, time-wise.

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asj-777@reddit

I'm 54, been at my job since I was 25, worked my ass off to get promotions and all that, but it never really came with great raises. I stayed because I had things going on that made location really convenient and there really aren't a lot of options in my field. Now, looking back and thinking about just how much time I've spent working, to still be where I am right now, is really disheartening and I feel like I threw my life away.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man I feel you brother or sister. It is that way for me

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asj-777@reddit

Thank you. I do try to look at the "bright side" -- there are people who are homeless and/or hungry, people that had more than I do but then lost it all -- but, man, some days it's hard.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Perspective. Perspective.

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wikkedwench@reddit

When life hands you a shit sandwich, be it health, physical or mental, issues with others, employment etc. You dont think how can I make the sanwich taste better, you refuse to eat it. Its still there but you find other things to give you the nourishment you need. A dark sense of humour, a therapist to talk to, family ( you are stuck with them) friends who get it and are supportive. Medication of thats what you need to feel 'normal'. It takes time but its worth it. Ive dealt with the sandwich since I was 6, Im 61, still a mess physically and mentally, BUT my coping skills are amazing, maybe not considered healthy, yet they work for me. (I named my tumour Arnie, gave him a 50 person going away party, made a killer song list, had a funeral for my breasts).

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Agreeable-Pilot-9480@reddit

I saw a woman with a T-shirt over a very large chest that read: Of course they’re fake. The real ones tried to kill me!

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wikkedwench@reddit

Mine wasnt breast cancer it was a connective tissue tumour. I stayed flat, after DDs, flat is so nice.

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Novel-Conversation36@reddit

Turning 61 this month. DH has 6 weeks of vacation. Sounds great, doesn't it!?? Our 24 yo daughter has a neurodegenerative disease. I've gone back to work for my sanity.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Not even going to try to understand what it’s like in your shoes. I hope you get a couple of nights out in the future where you get wasted and have a designated driver.😍😍😍😍

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Rtruex1986@reddit

I second that!

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Novel-Conversation36@reddit

Thank You.

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DiddlyBoBiddly@reddit

I keep looking around and I see people like Dick Van Dyke or and Margaret and I think holy shit they've been old my whole life. But here I am 59. If I was Dick Van Dyke I'd have another 40 years to go. I think back to my best friend who died when he was just 47. I had a horrible divorce lost retirement and basically started my life over at 50. On the flip side I now have a much younger wife, there are kids that are not a burden at all even if they are freaking noisy, and I keep thinking I could live another 30 years and I'm not sure that'd be enough time. My feet hurt, I've lost most of my vision in one eye and I'm starting to get arthritis. But for me, there's just something inside me that just keeps saying you don't stop. One day there won't be a choice and I will be just sitting in a chair watching the world go by but until then I'm doing whatever I want no matter how slow I am doing it

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buffalo_ranch_@reddit

Get custom orthotic insoles. The kind where you stand on a pressure sensor and they 3D print insoles for you. Probably $200, but my feet don’t hurt anymore. Worth it IMHO.

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BlueCollarGoals@reddit

like flora, sometimes we go through a fallow state to recollect energies for our next spring. Let it happen as it needs to.

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Plus-Description353@reddit

Look up, brother. A life of work and dedication isn’t a wasted one. Forget the noise of vacations etc, those get boring too, no matter where you travel. All the overly sentimentality of dwelling on the past, “what could have been”, etc is a major snare in life that I recommend you abandon. If nostalgia and sentimentality make you sad, they are coming from the wrong place. What are you thankful for? Do this daily, hourly if needed. There is much to be thankful for in your life.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

This! Thank you so much. That’s what I need to do bc I do have sooooo much to be thankful for

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prpauly78@reddit

If you woke up alive you have another day to do the things you are lamenting. Pick one. Make a plan to do it. Execute. Don't wake up in 10 years saying the same thing. You make your own fate.

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Former_Ring_9870@reddit

You don’t know that. You have a lot to be thankful for in YOUR life, and that’s great. But it’s not like that for all of us. That simplistic BS is kind of insulting, honestly.

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Rungi500@reddit

I'm 58 and I've had that conversation with myself several times. When your life becomes routine your mind can wander. Having self-doubt is not unhealthy unless you do it all the time. I've been through three marriages, a number of relationships, back surgery, hip replacement, knee surgery and still going. The only reason why you would stop is you have nothing to live for and even then there's always a reason to keep going. Give yourself some credit! Learning to love yourself is part of maturity.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty! Love it!

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awrythings@reddit

My dog and smoking weed, all I need.

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said_pierre@reddit

Start now.

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MsTgr@reddit

While I am not experiencing this exact thing, my husband and I are traveling more now that we are true empty-nesters, put the kids through their undergrads (been a few years for this one), and paid off our mortgage. We traveled a lot prior to retiring; however, much of it was due to our military careers sending us all over the US and world. Problem was we were tied to the military; so, we are going back to some of the same locations as civilians enjoying retirement. 😆

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Gloomy-Database4885@reddit

Watch Robert Smith (The Cure) perform Endsong live. He laments exactly what many of us feel. And I'm outside in the dark Staring at the blood red moon Remembering the hopes and dreams I had And all I had to do And wondering what became of that boy And the world he called his own I'm outside in the dark Wondering how I got so old It's all gone, it's all gone Nothing left of all I loved It all feels wrong It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone No hopes, no dreams, no world No, I, I don't belong No, I don't belong here It's all gone, it's all gone I will lose myself in time It won't be long It's all gone, it's all gone, it's all gone Left alone with nothing at the end of every song Left alone with nothing at the end of every song Left alone with nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing

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HandsomedanNZ@reddit

I tend to look back and realise how much I actually have done. How much I have travelled. How many incredible experiences I’ve had. Sometimes it’s hard to remember it all as life can be so mundane.

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Precious511@reddit

The mundane can be poetic, it depends how one looks at it.

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SATX_Nomad@reddit

Yep.

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HandsomeGenXer@reddit

You have never missed all those experiences. What you’re describing is the beginning of a type of onset ((depression)). I normally cure mine with a walk on the beach, or spending time outdoors. Talking to other people is helpful.

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Ner0_1ceDra9n@reddit

I think I’ve done enough but my problem is remembering most of what I did haha

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MaleficentMousse7473@reddit

I feel this

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This_Marvelous_Guy@reddit

GEN XErs should have plenty of time to still do things like travel. Get yourself in position and do it! If money is an issue, start with short driving trips. Take more time to do your hobbies.

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Crivens999@reddit

I was fine until I hit 50. Sure I’d had some medical problems going into my 40s, but nothing too serious once sorted out. Hitting 50 though… I’ve basically become a nostalgia monster overnight, and I’ve never thought about the past in such a way before. Or at least not with such strength or time. Sucks…

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BeginningSignal7791@reddit

I felt like time has escaped me, I’m now 61. It’s the last third of my life. I’m kinda scared tbh

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Crivens999@reddit

Yep. Know what you mean. I’m leaning massively into what I liked as a kid (retro gaming/programming communities mainly), and that helps. My wife helps, or at least we help each other. But yeah it’s all very scary. Thing is that you understand that obviously you will be pretty knackered by the time you are 80+, but it’s a bit not talked about what happens in between. I find it, because of arthritis in my hands, really hard to open jars etc. I’m looking at getting those jar opener things. What the fuck? It was only yesterday I was at the Def Leppard/White snake concert wasn’t I? Shit…

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DJ_Vigilance@reddit

100%. This new year has been much more introspective for me than usual. Time is fleeting. My kids are young. Nothing is promised. We’ve got this.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Let’s go!!

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Mulva1971@reddit

I’m so glad you said it because I’ve been thinking the same thing. Time is flying by and all exciting milestones ahead are not for me (except retirement). After 52, I feel like I’m aging faster than a piece of fruit.

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alwayssearching117@reddit

I hurt my neck and spine in the mid 90s. I was 25yo. Everything I had planned got canceled after that. I am still reminded daily of things I can't do anymore.

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NoRestForTheWitty@reddit

Sorry

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alwayssearching117@reddit

Thanks. I am always grateful that it wasn't worse.

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CompetitiveAppeal663@reddit

I’ll offer a counterpoint….one life is not enough to do it all. Early on I made some decisions that set my life on a completely different course. I had an opportunity to move to Puerto Rico for a couple years when I was 20, so I quit university and went….learned to speak Spanish and live a completely different way immersed in a culture different from my own. This really set off a wanderlust in me. I returned to the States and tried to go back to Uni, but after another year I was bored out of my mind and quit again and hit the backpacker track through SE Asia for 6 months thinking I jut had to “get it out of my system.” Eventually I went back and finished school, but even with my shiny new engineering degree, I couldn’t sit in a cubicle. I soon quit and found jobs overseas that catered more to my wandering life. Now I’m 48 and have worked and visited and lived outside of the States for the vast majority of my adult life. 98 countries and counting. As I age, I realize that I have all these things experiences, and I wouldn’t trade it, but everything comes at a cost. I don’t have any roots anywhere. I keep drifting and moving and don’t have a “home.” I have never owned and physical property, but also don’t really feel like I “fit” anywhere. Whenever I am in a country other than the U.S., I am the foreigner/ex-pat/immigrant, but when I go back to the States, I never feel like I fit there either. As I said, not complaining at all and hope it doesn’t come across that way, bc I am fully aware that this is the life I chose and if I had it all to do over again, I would make all the same decisions, but just trying to point out that there are “costs” to every decision we make.

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Cute_Professional703@reddit

I understand this feeling. I moved from the US to Mexico over a decade ago, in my mid 30s. It was the best decision, and allowed me to live a much slower and more authentic life, without the absolute materialism that is US culture. But, when I visit my friends, they all own big houses and nice cars. Makes me feel lesser. I, like you, own nothing. In the end, it’s worth it for me. I can’t imagine never having know that a simple life allows me to be present and notice all of the beauty around me. That and the vibrant culture here, sunny weather and the kindest people have been my reward. 🩷

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

That sounds awesome, but I get the part about not fitting in. That would feel empty.

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Girevik_in_Texas@reddit

Time passes the same way for everyone, but we are sold an ideal, especially in America, about what life should look like and how it should unfold. We spend years chasing it: the best TV, the best car, the best house, and often lose sight of what actually matters. By the time we notice, our bodies cannot always keep up with our desires. Travel is a clear example. It matters, but it is expensive, so you need a job, and jobs rarely give you the time off to enjoy the life they are meant to support. It is a catch-22.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I agree. Which part of Texas are you in ?

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zcubed@reddit

After watching my in laws aunt/uncles that were trying to travel when they were older, we realized that the time to travel was NOW. My best friends parents always wanted to travel to Italy, but never made the time. They have huge regrets now that they aren't able to travel. We figured see the world while we are younger and then we can see the USA when we're older. The only change is we're sticking mostly to the US now as we don't know what's going to happen in the next 3 years and don't want to get stuck somewhere.

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NotaMillenial2day@reddit

Yup—I think I’ve spent so long focused on doing what needs to get done e for others and in putting out fires mode, I didn’t realize how much time was passing until I realized i was in my 50s and haven’t done any of what I had hoped to!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’m glad I’m not the only one. Thank you! I guess it’s normal to feel this way?

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robguitar69@reddit

As time went on, it seemed to accelerate. I feel like I made almost all of my decisions correctly, and for what? I just turned 56 and all I do is exist.

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Aware_Mix422@reddit

I can sure relate to that. Wish I’d taken more risks also. Always took the safe relationship, practical job, had kids, etc…I had a nice life, but….

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AvengingTaco@reddit

I've got nothing to live for so I'm just waiting to die.

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Aware_Mix422@reddit

I feel that way sometimes too. Talk to someone about that. I talk to a therapist and take some meds. It actually does help. Hang in there

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Oh man that is totally different. Hope you find some help brother.

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Famous_Ad_3906@reddit

Jesus man

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Acceptable_Sun_8445@reddit

Every year I try to knock off something on my “bucket list.” Materialistic things don’t matter to me. But I will always remember my experiences. I started doing this approximately 6 years ago.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I wanna do this. Nashville. Disney world. Statue of Liberty

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SouthwestFL@reddit

Disney World is great. Ignore the haters about "Disney Adults" or any of that stupid shit. Come in May or November (Florida's best months, good weather, lighter crowds, better prices). You'll still need money though; Disney has gotten EXPENSIVE. Disclaimer: I am a season pass holder for SeaWorld and can't recommend it enough; best park in Florida, especially for adults who don't do a lot of "thrill rides".

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Acceptable_Sun_8445@reddit

I don’t like anything about Orlando. Traffic is terrible here. Give me nature.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man I honestly am not looking forward to all that walking!😂

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Aware_Mix422@reddit

Turning 60 in a few months. I’ve also been looking back and feeling lots of regrets. I have a good career, wife and kids — and I realize that I’m pretty lucky. Everyone thinks I’m happy with all my Dad jokes and silliness, but I’m pretty down lately. I regret not taking more risks when I was younger. I always made the safe choices…

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Safe choices…. That sounds like what I’m feeling.

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yviebee@reddit

Make the most of the time you have now. Find joy in what you’ve experienced so far. ❤️

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thank you!!!

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Resident-Edge-5318@reddit

I have been feeling exactly this bcuz I had a successful business with my stbxh, he cheated and found out he stole funds, wasted savings on the divorce, now starting from scratch at 56!!!!

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CompetitiveAppeal663@reddit

“You know why divorces are so expensive??? BC they’re worth it.”

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ouch. I’m so sorry. It may be worth not living with him.

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Resident-Edge-5318@reddit

Oh, we do not live together. Sadly, we are now mortal enemies. His choice.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

It is what it is. Now you’re free to do what you want. It sucks but it’ll be worth it

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Resident-Edge-5318@reddit

yes, I am just having a hard time knowing I have had to start from zero.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Think of it as an adventure! You got this!!!

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Holecontroler@reddit

I woke up after NYE and said I’m done. I’m 59 and living for me. I’m retiring in April and letting it ride.

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de_kitt@reddit

What things in your life make you proud or have given you joy? Do you have people you love, who love you? Focus on those things. Then, use your anxiety to pick some things you want to do and work towards making them happen. Energy and time are limited. Every time we put energy into something, there are a million things we can’t do. Don’t regret what you’ve already done; it can’t be changed. Focus on the positives in your life and work towards making build in more intentional experiences and memories. I do sometimes get nervous about aging and time having passed, but I am happy with the life I have and I am here because of all the things I have done and haven’t done. I wouldn’t be the person I am not or have the life and people I have now if I’d made different choices.

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MaiBoo18@reddit

I’m waiting to die. I’ve done all the things people do. I went to uni, got married, have 2 kids. Over 20 years in my career, I just feel done.

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single_white_kiwi@reddit

Sell up everything and travel the world, its time to start living.

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MaiBoo18@reddit

Sounds nice to some but I hate leaving my house.

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Hopfrogg@reddit

Kind of the opposite for me, but as with everything, there comes a cost. I hiked the Appalachian Trail, motorbiked from Hanoi to Saigon, motorcycles through every proving in Thailand, hike the Florida Trail, traveled to a bunch of countries.... amazing experiences, but now nearing retirement I gotta buckle down and play catchup with savings and 401k etc... Was still worth it

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Appropriate-Hope5616@reddit

Travel now. Make memories now. Build community and strengthen your relationships now. Use this lesson and make use of the decades and years you have left.

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Significant-Walrus94@reddit

I was a boring good girl teenager. Went wild and travelled in my mid-20s. Got married at 30 and although we never had children of our own we were very involved with the nieces and nephews. Very fulfilling. Now I'm very content living a quiet life in a quiet town with just my husband and my dogs. I'm very grateful that I managed to do what I did when I did it. No regrets. I know it's a very privileged place to be.

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Pepinocucumber1@reddit

All the time. Lots of regrets. It’s basically impossible for me not to look backwards all the time.

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Similar-Stable-1908@reddit

Working too hard to please what was expected of me instead of enjoying my life. All my life. It is my deepest regret.

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boulevardpaleale@reddit

i have been going through this a lot lately. i did what i was supposed to. it seems everybody i know now has ‘got theirs’ but, somehow i’m still here, racing at full speed with no slow down in sight. can’t really stop now. any missteps at this point and the walls start to come down. the problem? i’m getting tired…

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Sounds like my dad. He worked his life away.

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Sea-Membership-9643@reddit

I've made it a point to travel and spend money on experiences versus things. I've lived a pretty rich life without being wealthy, and don't live beyond my means. When I travel I go budget. A hotel is a place to sleep, poop, and shower. I don't need anything fancy. Unfortunately, I went through some rough patches, too, and had to cash in my 401k, so my retirement future is bleak. That's when I'll load my pockets with rocks and walk into a lake.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ha! Well I can’t say I’d regret it if I was you !

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Mrshaydee@reddit

Same. So last few years I’ve (55F) been prioritizing travel to places I’ve always wanted to see. Doing this on the assumption that my health and budget may not allow it later in life.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Good luck!! What’s the plan?

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Mrshaydee@reddit

Well, at the moment I’m in a boot cast so haven’t planned much for 2026, but I’ve done Japan, Italy, Germany, Poland, Czechoslovakia, France, China in the last couple of years and would happily return to any of them. Each its own trip. Would like to see Ireland, the Holy Land, but it seems like it’s never a good time to see the Holy Land.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Holy moly!!!! That’s impressive. Put me in your suitcase! I’m not very big

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Hey that can be my travel plan

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Lbboos@reddit

Retired 3 months and going through this.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

How’s it going?

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Lbboos@reddit

Not as I thought it would. It’s life changing in that I’ve worked for 40 years at different occupations and now I have no structure. My job was very stressful ( I worked in healthcare) and I think I was just burnt out.

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notabadkid92@reddit

I cannot function without structure.

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Silver_Breakfast7096@reddit

The whole bucket list thing that hit me is that given how much money I have, the number of things I want to do and the viable years I have left means I won’t be able to do most of it. Not physically possible. Trying to get my husband to get a van and travel for a year but he’s not interested.

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notabadkid92@reddit

My 92 ur old aunt has a group she has been traveling with for decades. Her husband would never go so she went without him.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Oh man. I want a Goodtimes conversion van with all those little lights around the perimeter of the inside of the van and the captains chairs!!!

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Dextropic@reddit

Hike up your skirt, and stick your thumb out. Someone in a van is bound to stop.

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Diligent_Ninja7794@reddit

Thank you for helping me to feel less alone. I’m a 46F and having a hard time accepting how fast time has flown, especially the last 5-10 years. It almost feels like it was somehow stolen from me, as if I’ve been violated in some weird way.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

You’re definitely not alone. I’m there. “The last 5-10” makes it seem like you spent that time in jail. Did ya?

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Diligent_Ninja7794@reddit

Ha! Thankfully, no.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

You know, I almost don’t look forward to the weekend anymore just bc I know it’s over as soon as it started. Is that bad?

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Whew. Good. I was worried I was taking too a felon😂

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Silver_Breakfast7096@reddit

Well the Pandemic f’d us out of some of it.

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FrancinetheP@reddit

I’m not a fan of the “making memories” concept. It suggests that our daily lives are somehow not worthy of being remembered. In reality, many of our most powerful and meaningful moments arise in the midst of the day to day grind: The time grandma was the one to catch the dog when it got loose bc she just stood there doing nothing while everyone else ran around screaming; that day when the kid was five and claimed they were speaking “French” all day. The night the kid’s father said he wanted a divorce bc I put celery in the soup. I’m sure you’ve got your own memory album, OP. IDGAF if it has pictures of the Grand Canyon in it, and I hope you don’t either.

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Alovingcynic@reddit

The five year old announcing they were speaking French all day put a smile on my depressed face. I got the Januarys big time, today, so thanks for the reprieve. I too bridle at the 'making memories' concept. Always surprises me what I remember, and what I don't -- but thought I'd never forget. Happy New Year.

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Professor_Wild@reddit

Holy shit "the Januarys" is exactly how I've been feeling this week. Thank you for putting into words!

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Alovingcynic@reddit

They are rough: ease into the new year and be kind to yourself, friend.

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FrancinetheP@reddit

They were so remarkably consistent that I don’t understand why, now that they actually study French in school, they suck so badly 🧐. C'est un plaisir pour moi de vous faire sourire.

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Alovingcynic@reddit

Merci, beaucoup, et vous êtes drole!

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nelsonfenner@reddit

Celery is great in soup!

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FrancinetheP@reddit

I think so too. What’s really sad is he was actually having an affair with my friend. This was the best excuse he could come up with to leave the marriage. 🙄

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Expensive_Hyena_9223@reddit

Ugh. What a douche! Both he and the "friend". Grow some balls, buddy, because celery is excellent in soup!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Love this thought process and yes my most loved memories have no Disney world, Grand Canyon, France, Las Vegas attached to them.

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

Yes, I'm really struggling with this.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

It’s real. Isn’t it…? How are you struggling

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

All too real. I turned 50 last summer and am having a hard time letting go of feeling I wasted so much time not pursuing my true passions -- namely creative pursuits. I feel like most of my adult life has been like walking into a room and forgetting why -- or like I took a nap for 20 years, then woke up and realized I've been going through the motions and not devoting my whole heart to anything. I know what I need to do to influence the future, but the regret of lost time is crushing right now. Thank you for asking. I at least feel less alone. ❤️

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’m 49M and I know what I need to do also to influence the future. Open my own business. I feel too old now.

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

I know the feeling! What it comes down to for me is I feel I have to do this or there's not really a point to my life going forward. I know that's dramatic and I'm not suicidal or anything, but I feel like I have to do this (write books) or die trying. There is no continuing to go on in the same way, half assing and putting it off. The horrible wasted time feeling persists, though. I hope it goes away or propels me forward in some way. I guess the bottom line is that we may feel like crap either way, so we may as well go big. Not trying now is going to be more painful than going for it, I think.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Sounds like the definition of your “why”. Tell you what. You try. I try

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

Sounds like a good deal to me.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’ll be honest. I’m chicken shit. I need a push

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

It's okay to be scared as long as you don't get stuck. Baby steps!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty! I needed that 🩵

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Weary-Sea-7294@reddit

Right back at you 🩵

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hells_cowbells@reddit

Been a viscous circle. Earlier, I had a bunch of low paying jobs and bounced around a bit. I finally have a good career and decent salary, and now I'm furiously playing catchup on retirement so I don't have to live in a cardboard box under a bridge when I'm older. I'm tired of this merry go round.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I get that!!!

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hells_cowbells@reddit

Sometimes I kick myself because I worked for a university with a pension for a few years, but I left because the pay was so lousy. Had I stayed, I would have been eligible for retirement 4 years ago.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Oh man. That sucks. Now. Flush that. On to plan B. You got this brother.

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Charming_Week1067@reddit

My 78yr old dad had a big health scare this year & we almost lost him. I’m 58 & was sadder for all he missed in life than what I had missed in life. Grateful for any experiences above the dirt! Cheer up Gen X! 💪🏻🫶🏼

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hells_cowbells@reddit

My mom is also 78, and I have been trying to take her on some trips to see some stuff around the country. We're not jetting off to Europe or anything, but we've seen some cool places the last couple of years. She and my stepfather traveled around the country some after they retired, so I'm trying to continue that since he died a couple of years ago.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thank you!!!!

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No_Maintenance_9608@reddit

All the time. I blink and now I’m 55. Feels like I haven’t done much other than work work work. I wish I could’ve done more especially in my 20s and 30s. I’m sort of trying to make up for it now. I’m two years away from becoming eligible for retirement with full benefits and I will probably take it. Life’s too short to be stuck at an office desk.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Congratulations btw !!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man I hope you have fun with that bucket list!!

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RealTigerCubGaming@reddit

I’m going to turn 60 in a few months and having the same thoughts. I did travel some, lived all across the country but it doesn’t feel like enough. Have been trying to plan small trips, driving with my husband and my poodle. Want to go to Yellowstone for my birthday. I just keep reminding myself that “it is what it is, never regret anything, change what you can and appreciate what you have”.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Amen sister.

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wutwutsugabutt@reddit

I don’t know, my mother always felt her life passed her by cause she got married and had kids and had to give it all up for us. As a result I have moved where I’ve wanted, pursued many interests and experiences, etc. I don’t have kids and won’t own a home and carry debt because I’m going to die one day and I would rather go to Mexico for my birthday and accrue a little debt than stay at home saving pennies. Hopefully will have social security one day since I’ve been paying into the system since the ‘90s, plus found a job with a pension. So for the foreseeable future it’s living life to the fullest possible. I have a degenerative neurological disease and it’s under control but I’m not counting on retirement to enjoy myself.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Which neurological disease is you don’t mind ?

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wutwutsugabutt@reddit

Multiple sclerosis, I’m on a great treatment that has so far worked to slow progression, but in the context of potential disability I’m definitely focusing on enjoying my life as much as possible now. I’ll find a way to enjoy it too if I have more disease activity.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’m sorry. I respect you for saying that. You get your adventures in baby girl…. You got this.

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wutwutsugabutt@reddit

You’re so kind thank you for the encouragement, we all have burdens and I feel lucky to still be okay. Take care of yourself too, ok!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Will do. You got this. You’re a badass. Goodnight 😬.

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cascadianpatriot@reddit

Late stage capitalism. We just don’t have the time and/or money.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I definitely get that. That’s me too. I’m going to have to get another job

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Charliecovid@reddit

Just yesterday it popped up in my fb memories, it was 6 years ago at the age of 44 that I found out I had cancer. After 2 surgeries, I'm currently NED. But I've already experienced the pain of seeing all those plans just ... evaporate. All the things I wanted to do someday but kept putting on the back burner because life. None of us gets out of here alive, and we can't take the money with us. I'm glad I lived while I was young. I traveled a lot, just got in my car and drove. Went to so many state & national parks, hiked & camped. Struck up conversations with strangers, did some stupid shit and had adventures. I plan on doing more of that, just in a more comfortable set of wheels than my Nissan sentra.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Good for you man!!!

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Any_Spray_4829@reddit

Yeah I feel that. It's hitting me hard now that my youngest just graduated high school and I realized that I, as a single parent, sacrificed too much of myself to my kids and left nothing for myself. Now that my obligation to them is over, I feel somehow like I cheated myself. The whole time I had people telling me I had to make time for myself and I never did. And now I realize what they meant.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man I get this. My life revolved around my kids and now they’re 17 and 19. I wouldn’t take the time I gave to them back, but I wish I would’ve taken them on more trips. We did a lot and made tons of memories.

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Any_Spray_4829@reddit

Man I am right there with you. We never went on one family vacation together because money was so tight. I told both my kids to join high school choir because I knew every year they went on one out of state trip so they got to go somewhere cool every year in high school even tho neither one could carry a tune in a bucket!! That made me happy that they got to go at least but I would have loved to have gone on a family vacation.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Sounds like my upbringing. Hiding from the landlord. Taking cold baths. No vacations. Working in the fields. Etc.

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Any_Spray_4829@reddit

Hey - builds character, right? 😜

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

It builds work ethic. I got character somewhere else

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yossarian8pizza@reddit

If possible then, why not do something about it. You're not dead yet. Start planning a short trip to a place you've always wanted to see. Maybe make those memories with your own kids. Share with them why these things are important to you.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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BlackFellTurnip@reddit

[https://www.reddit.com/r/Absurdism/comments/1q14x07/there\_need\_not\_be\_something\_to\_live\_for\_for\_one/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Absurdism/comments/1q14x07/there_need_not_be_something_to_live_for_for_one/)

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Cactusandcreosote@reddit

Recently, I told my sister (who is younger than I am) that this age I am … this is IT. It’s almost over. Her response: Or maybe it just the beginning. I’m desperately trying to hold on to the idea that it’s the latter.

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MartinBlank96@reddit

Same here.

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Turbulent-Mango6569@reddit

I’m all about this. I’m trying to get through some of my bucket list, which for me involves nature and hiking. did the Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu, Grand Canyon Rim to Rim last year and doing Tour de Mont Blanc this year. I’d like to do Kilimanjaro in a few years. It’s forcing me to stay in shape. I feel most balanced in nature challenging myself. Try to knock out some of your bucket list, whatever it is, skydiving, travel, reading all the works of Shakespeare, whatever. Just make forward progress , I think it’ll make you feel better.

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Fancy_Measurement723@reddit

Well said

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty! Hard to compete with you but I’ll try!!!

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BelleKy71@reddit

I’ve had the same thoughts but when you’re busy working and raising a family, lots of times you’re just trying to get through the day. The days are long but the years are short has a different meaning now vs when you have toddlers. You think you have time but most of us were just trying to live our lives in the 48hrs each weekend which typically was taken up with all the little things vs big experiences.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man you’re so right. It’s F’ ing depressing, hearing some say “ just do it. I sold some of my investments and am working on my bucket list.” I’m like “WTF world do you live in?!” Oh and “shut the fuck up”.

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beginagain4me@reddit

You aren’t gone yet!! Start making different choices! Start having experiences! Start small pick something thunder like to do maybe a weekend somewhere you’d like to go. Then start planning it and enjoy that stage of it too. There isn’t any reason they can’t have those things now.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I agree. I want to go to the NM mountains for a weekend. Teach my daughter how to snowboard.

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beginagain4me@reddit

That would be a wonderful first experience and to share it with your daughter is 🩷!! You’ll also be teaching her to take that time to do the same for herself! It could even become a yearly trip you take together! Those are memories she will hold close the rest of her life! Trust me in that I was a daddy’s girl and can remember every time he took me anywhere. We used to go to Chicago often he needed to buy supplies and rest of the day would be ours. Every time I see the skyline it’s like he is still next to me.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man. I love that. I want her to have times like you did with your dad

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beginagain4me@reddit

It will mean the world to both of you. I’m so excited for you both!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

You’re so sweet. Ty!!

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Curious_Field7953@reddit

My existential crisis started at 53, I'm 55 now.

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Status_Jump_2496@reddit

Very much so.

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Kitsune9_Robyn@reddit

Oh! I know exactly how I missed all that: Four decades of soul-crushing depression. I did get a therapist. She helped immensely. I'm doing things now. The best time to do the things would have been thirty-five to forty years ago, the second best time is now.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

God. I love this group😂

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Nolaorlando@reddit

Had a full breakdown on the drive home recently when I realized I’ve probably lived longer than years I have left.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Damn. We need a beer and a patio and all talk out out. And probably cry

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rtduvall@reddit

I’m 57 and am definitely feeling this. I’ll hear a song that will take me back and I look and wonder what happened? Did I not have any goals? I’m too old to do anything now. Not exactly rich so options are limited.

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lancerreddit@reddit

I use to but realized most of what other ppl make a big deal about are usually FOS.

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Careless_Bar_5920@reddit

Absolutely the reason why I've been to more concerts in the past three years than all those decades previously. That, and I can better afford them now than back when. When Petty died and I'd kept putting him off since he came around every year.... that was the kick in the bum.

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dharmabird67@reddit

I saw ELO last year on their US farewell tour, one of my favorite bands and glad I did. So many artists I wanted to see but they left us too soon. Glad I got to see MJ back in '97.

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humble_cyrus@reddit

I got about 10 years till retirement. I would like to know if you had more time, what would u do differently? I have a bucket list of about 50 things and I've done maybe 10.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Good question. I’d have to think on that

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froggymail@reddit

Yep. I've been waaaaay too much in my head lately and while some things I can still make plans to do, others are suddenly (to me) too late. I'm trying to focus on the things I can do and not dwell but its hard.

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swarleyknope@reddit

I do. I also try to remember that my mother who was widowed at 55 and is now 78 has lived an extremely full and enriched life since my dad died with her current husband who she met in a bereavement support group. They still travel around the world and make friends wherever they go - even with the pandemic interrupting things. They are constantly face timing with young (in their 20s/30s) people in other countries to catch up on the latest, continue to experience fine dining, and are more social than I am. And they manage to do all this while remaining Covid-cautious and protecting their health, so they can continue to do so. Granted, their finances allow them to do this and I am not in the same situation. But I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not about my age and that it’s up to me to figure out my own next adventure that I can achieve within my means instead of mourning my life while I am still here to enjoy it. Something else that helps has been spending time with active seniors. Going to a belly dancing class with women who are in their 80s and 90s opened my eyes to realize that limits based on age are individual choices. It motivated me to take a painting class and find new ways to challenge myself.

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midniteinthedesert@reddit

This really cheated me up and inspired me, thank you.

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swarleyknope@reddit

This makes me so happy ☺️ I wasn’t going to take time to comment, since there were so many replies already and I always figure no one reads the newer ones - now I am glad I did!

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midniteinthedesert@reddit

I’m glad you did too, thanks again! 😊 I know what you mean — at the same time, sometimes I go further down the reddit comments/rabbit holes than I should admit haha.

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Socksandcandy@reddit

You should never cheer when you're cheated

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midniteinthedesert@reddit

Sorry typo — I corrected it 🤣

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Yep. I work with seniors daily and love hanging out with them.

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sanityjanity@reddit

You are alive. It is not too late. I spent over a decade doing almost nothing but working. I had a life-changing experience last year, and I spent most of 2025 making up for lost time. It's not cheap, though. You have a gift right now. You have woken up out of your trance and noticed that you have missed out. But that means that you can change it. You can decide what would matter, and you can choose to spend your time doing things that matter to you.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty!!!! I love this and am going to make a change!

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sanityjanity@reddit

Yay! I have made a real effort in the last year to do some of the things I had been missing out on, and it is awesome

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Love it

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Forward_Success_2672@reddit

Yeah, regardless of what you did or didn’t do, there’s a point at which we all begin to reflect. And there’s good and bad all around. Try to remember good things and look through the windshield not at the rear view mirror, as they say.

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KarmaChameleon306@reddit

I’m the opposite of you. I played in punk bands, I travelled, and just lived life as full as I could when I was younger. I have amazing memories and life experience, but the trade off is that I will probably never afford to retire.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Yup

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hernondo@reddit

Start today! So many people “wait for retirement”, but for many retirement may mean low financial means and a body breaking down significantly. Start taking those trips and making memories today, it’s not too late.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty!

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Megs0255@reddit

Going to the gym every day is great. You have something to show for your day. You did something.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty. I have to force myself.

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zeldasusername@reddit

Do it now. What's stopping you? Get some exercise in and start doing things NOW. It's not the end of your life

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I exercise plenty. I’m in pretty good shape. That’s not the issue. Mostly time and money.

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TC_Stock@reddit

Went through my mid life crisis a while back and got heavily into caving. I explored caves all over the country. I squeezed into some incredibly tight places and even got stuck once. I rappelled hundreds of feet through waterfalls into some stunning caves. I rappelled off the new river gorge bridge. I did it all. I started staying home more with my wife. I realized that shes the best thing that ever happened to me and I feel sorta embarrassed for my caving antics. People think that life is about bungee jumping and climbing remote mountains but I think its really about all your connections. Thats not to say there isnt value in travel because there is. I plan to do plenty after retirement but its the people in your life that really give it meaning IMHO.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

That makes me wanna hammer a nail into my eye…

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Mounitis@reddit

Buddha said once: nobody is virgin, life f@cks everyone.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Lucky life…

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Lost_Taste_8181@reddit

I absolutely feel like that, but then I realize if I really wanted to do all those things I would have. Enjoy the time you have NOW.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Joy doesn’t come with external circumstances. That comes from inside.

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Chrissylumpy21@reddit

Thats why when people say ‘live in the moment’ during concerts, entertainment and travels, I still insist on taking at least some photos and videos for keeps because I’m slowly forgetting any of these things ever happened in my life these days.

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mchookem@reddit

i mean...how old are you? i'm mid-50s and this is the best time of my life, have all the time and more resources than i've ever had to do whatever i want... what's stopping you from creating memories and experiences NOW?? geesh... we're older but we're not dead guys 😆

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Omg…..

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Tuscan5@reddit

Just what I needed to hear.

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SufficientOpening218@reddit

i didnt travel more because i was struggling to survive. then i was struggling to protect my kids from a shitty marriage. now im struggling as a single disabled woman. my newly graduated kid cant get a job because Regan is in the White house again, under a different name, and my other kid is disabled and his dads a deadbeat. good thing i like hosewater!🤣🤣

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Bruh. Hose water is legit!! There’s nothing like the feel of it going down while sweating your ass off mowing the lawn

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Effective-Breath-505@reddit

I was thinking this last night .... what's the point to it all now anyway? Kids are grown and not expecting grandkids. Wake up, go to work, come home, make supper, watch a show and repeat until Friday.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Damn. My life…. Except my kids aren’t old enough for kids yet

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FrozenOnPluto@reddit

\_there is still time\_ Life is what you make of it :)

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Conscious-Secret-775@reddit

I would love to have travelled more but I am living in a different country than the one I was born in and I traveled a lot as a child. Finding the time to travel while holding down a full time job is a challenge.

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Ceorl_Lounge@reddit

Doing my best to make the future interesting makes the past less of a thing to dwell on. My wife and I work to "keep it real" about the old days, not glorifying college or grad school. Our lives have gotten much better in the last 20 years regardless.

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skiphandleman@reddit

I've had this conversation with a therapist. The why only matters in two circumstances (1) the pattern hasn't changed, e.g. you wonder why you didn't travel and you still aren't traveling (2) the pattern has changed, but you feel like it changed later in life than it should have and you have regret. In case (1), it doesn't matter why. You just have to make the changes without further procrastination. In case (2), it also doesn't matter why. You made the changes but can't gave the time back. M9ve forward. You have to recognize that your early choices and non-choices led you to where you are, the good and the bad. Had you lived differently, some of the bad feelings might not be there but some of the good experiences wouldn't either. I spent a lot of time beating myself over wasting about 25 years of my life. I was desparate to understand why I did that since I have a completely different outlook now and don't really know why I was the way I was. Turns out it doesn't matter because I can't change it. The important thing is that none of those choices really inhibit me from having a great life, it just means there are some things I have to sacrifice. Examples: I will never publish that paper because I quit my PhD but I have found other tangential creative outlets that give me similar satisfaction. I will never win that trophy in baseball because I quit in high school, but I'm taking up golf and still get the satisfaction of 'athletic' accomplishment. I never played in a rock band because I didn't practice enough, but now I do practice and occasionally have the pleasure of entertaining folks. I never served my country, but I volunteer and provide financial support to those who do or did. The list goes on. You get one life. Time is very much finite. Don't dwell on the past. If you need to make amends for your mistakes, do so, but don't waste any more minutes. You can't buy more. I always thought money was important, but it turns out, I have all the things I really need. Chasing money cost me time. Time is everything.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

Its called having kids and a family. Which is fine. But the childless mostly had more time and money. I never had children and was mostly single from 26 to 38. I did a lot of stuff.

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DigiSmackd@reddit

No children here, plenty of time. Still feel like OP. Not that I didn't do "stuff". But sometimes it just feels fleeting. And, for me anyway, more and more of it is about wanting a partner to share it all with. I wasn't single for much of it - but I'm not with the same person I was 25 years ago. Or 15 years ago. It's the realization that all you have are those memories. And on one hand, that's awesome. You DO have those memories. They are priceless. And on the other hand, those memories can be lost - in your own mind, and with the person(s) you shared them with. As friends also get older, die, move away, etc - you realize that the version of yourself you (think) know is a stranger to everyone else - because all the things that happened to make you *you* are unknown to the people around you. And sure, you can still make new friends - but there's no making a lifetime of past memories. Best you can do is essentially "start over" or at least "starting now". Which, again, is *fine* - but something you may have to come to terms with as being "good enough". Obviously this is a very personal thing. And I acknowledge that for me it probably centers around family (or lack thereof). I just always thought I'd fill that void with other things. I stayed unattached, unrooted so as to keep myself open to adventure or opportunity. And then 30 years go by and I've just found myself drifting... a little less unattached, a little less unrooted - but still drifting.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

Yeah i feel that too a little bit. I had a very very successful career. I made a lot of money ans retired from it at 42 because it was ao stressful. And also wanted a partner. I transitioned to a new career where I make less money but have a lot of time and met my now husband.. Part of me wishes he knew the career person I used to be. Like theres another different version of myself he cannot even fathom.knowing

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DigiSmackd@reddit

Thanks for sharing. Yeah, there's this weird part that knows I've done a few things that other's may envy me for (but not quite like you, retiring at 42!) but it never seems enough. The idea of starting a new relationship now is mostly depressing/anxiety inducing with just a hint of optimism and excitement for what "could be". It was a lot different in my younger years - I didn't struggle to find relationships and I didn't really think to much about what the impact may be 20-30 years later... But yeah - there's a whole version (or 2!) of me that only a few looong time friends may know, at this point. Maybe my older brothers know a bit of a version. My parents are dead, so the "childhood" version memory of me is long gone.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

Oh I still work! Just in a much slower paced job and dont need to make a bunch of money to survive. Lol. Someday even I forget! I went on a solo trip to London in 2002 and I though...holy crap was that 24 years ago? And i barely even remember it and somehow lost the photos!

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DigiSmackd@reddit

I know that feeling! My Google Photos will hit me with those "memories" and I'll be like - daang, was that really 12 years ago? Or "Man, I looked a lot younger back then..." or "It's been too long since I've made another memory like that one..."

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PhoneJazz@reddit

Woman here, not married, no kids, always had the fun experiences and travel and until recently never missed out on starting a family. Now, I realized that in the end, the experiences will amount to nothing and that family is what it is all about (can’t afford to adopt and wouldn’t want to without a partner). I wish I could change my mindset.

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Lil_Sweet24@reddit

Agreed. I didn't settle down or have a child until I was 45. Too much fun stuff happening in those younger years.

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Glass-Shelter-699@reddit

Congratulations, you're just like the rest of us.

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Bobby_Globule@reddit

Question the question. Is it a valid question? Did you have some good times? What were the more subtle deeper beauty times? I used to wish I'd had more times, like octaine, cocaine, gun powder times but life is way more for me.

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Maggieblu2@reddit

I have been married, divorced, raised three awesome kids, traveled the world, traveled the US, have friends and family scattered like flowers everywhere. In the last ten years alone I wrote two books, am working on a third, moved to my dream place, finally got my dream job in my chosen vocation, all this under 60. I turn 60 soon and I can’t wait to see what further adventures await. Its all in how you see things.

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sfomonkey@reddit

Humblebrag. Just not humble

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

This happens constantly on Reddit, someone who is doing well gets attacked. Maggie's point is, go do it, it isn't too late. This is my take as well & I turn 61. It's on me to plan now all the things I think I've missed. Mostly it's to see my best oldest friends, 2 of which are luckily near where my adult children live. Another in Europe who I've gone to several times over the years.

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Maggieblu2@reddit

Thanks for understanding what I expressed badly. Some days I wake and am terrified at how little time is ahead of me. I worry this is it, and what if I never have another adventure? But then I look back at all the years have held, some years were difficult and full of struggle, some moments I felt I’d never make it through, but I didn’t give up and I kept going. I’d rather focus on making the best of what time is left than worry about what hasn’t happened.

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

That last sentence, 💯. People forget that with positive posts, we haven't gotten where we are without struggle. We've worked for it, we've even completely blown our former lives apart to attain happiness. We now tackle life with a passion because we know our days are precious & limited.

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Zestyprotein@reddit

[Bunk Moreland](https://youtu.be/CHvE2UV2xdw?si=wJmbO2YFl0BhmAPW&t=19)

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No_Arugula7027@reddit

Nothing more boring than someone jealous of another person's happiness and success.

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Dry-Response9833@reddit

There's a time and place for everything, read what OP is saying then ask your self if this is the best thread on reddit to brag about how fantastic a life you made for your self.

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nice_hows@reddit

Love to hear these kind of success stories!! Congratulations Maggie!

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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seeingeyegod@reddit

well, you could have just said "no I dont have this problem" :P

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chipinserted@reddit

Trust me it could be worse I feel like I was robbed of my 30s and most of my 40s due to a medical event and now I pay for it financially and medical

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Jimmy_LoMein@reddit

In theory I'd like to travel more. In reality I don't really like sleeping in strange rooms and using questionable toilets.

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mmmmmarty@reddit

I get bashful butt away from home. I cannot go in an unfamiliar toilet. I like my house and my lavatory!

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Alovingcynic@reddit

1969, too, and same. And I hate unfamiliar noises away from home, like loud, hotel mini fridges, and heating or cooling systems. And risking life and death by long distance driving on American highways, and trying to find a clean gas station bathroom, to spending twice the budget on bad food, incidentals, and hidden fees. I always think I should go see one more 'wonder' before I die, but then realize the wonder will draw too many others to it, and some will be badly behaved, like the woman I observed stealing petrified wood from the national park, or the man who was screaming at his young children for acting like...young children. And I have to bite my tongue because you never know who is packing heat and mental. So I stay home and try not to regret not having traveled more.

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Triple_Stamp_Lloyd@reddit

I think the thing that's been hitting me hard lately is that we may only have one chance at this life (unless you believe in reincarnation). In a lot of ways I feel like I've done a lot, but in other ways I feel like I've done nothing. The only thing I really want to do is travel more.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Me too. I have a good job. Make good money. I guess it’s natural. I wish I could convince my wife to move into a smaller home and not finance any more cars. Just keep these going. Imagine how much more tracking we could do !

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mmmmmarty@reddit

I will never understand the draw of a car that I have to make payments on!

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mmmmmarty@reddit

I was wild AF in my younger years. I certainly did everything I wanted to. Worked my ass off at the same time. All the hungover days surveying were more than worth it. Now we have chill jobs because our houses are paid off. We have a cattle farm, which has no chill at all. Now we hope to coast till retirement and focus on setting the kid up to have it better than we did. That, and keeping this yard full of cars running (fuck a damn gray squirrel!)

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Oh-THAT-dude@reddit

You are evidently still alive, so go travel and make memories now.

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original_greaser_bob@reddit

the days are long but the years are fast.

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bookworthy@reddit

How am I here still grieving my mom and taking turns with two siblings caring for our terminally ill father while working full time, juggling my own spouse and household, and trying to stay in touch with two adult children who don’t seem very interested.

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Federal_Solid_7994@reddit

Wishing you well. Realizing slowly my sibling is the only one that will know me and be with me through my entire life. Throw away all squabbles, peeves and such and stay close.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ouch bro. That is a rough one. Good luck man.

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thedumbdown@reddit

It’s all those early risks & decisions. I went straight into the music biz in LA in the late 90s/early 00s. Didn’t make over 25k/yr until I left the biz and was closer to 30 than 20 years old. The experiences I had & the friends I made who were struggling along with me were priceless though. I was extremely lucky to get out of it alive and not end up on the streets as I had no safety net from family.

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Prestigious_Bend_789@reddit

And saying farewell to parents, uncles, aunts and others. But hitting the gym/weights is a bad ass pathway to one day at a time

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feelingmyage@reddit

Yeah, it’s weird to be getting to where we have no generation of relatives above us. It’s lonelier.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Oh man. I didn’t realize that

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crashin70@reddit

Me too brother, me too. But I've done pretty much everything I wanted to do and now I'm just tired and bored, and actually really ready for "that great adventure"!

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Scarpity026@reddit

It's called a midlife crisis for a reason, and even if you did all of that stuff you haven't, you'd just be anxy about something else. I'd suspect even the very successful among us go through this. And it can be a mark of maturity if you play your cards right. You're beginning to understand the most precious asset in life is time. You can always make a lost dollar back, but the hourglass stops for no one. It's okay to reevaluate where and how you want to go forward. Just be sure you count the blessings you have, and the wins you've racked up along the way.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I think you’re absolutely right. I’m 49 and I think that’s it. I have a masters degree and make six figures, yet I feel broke and a bit like I’m wandering.

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TheFaithfulStone@reddit

I felt this way for a long time, then I was talking to a kid at work (I say kid he’s probably 30) and I was telling some story (I think it was about counter-protesting Westboro in the 2010s) that I didn’t think was that interesting and he was like “Man, your life has been exciting.” I do (did) enough travel. I do (did) interesting work. I went (go) exciting places with my wife and my kid. Are there things I haven’t done yet? Sure - but really I’ve been pretty active, I’ve done lots of interesting things and met lots of interesting people. A lot of the lessons of the stories we tell ourselves about our lives is in the way we tell the story.

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seeingeyegod@reddit

like.. what is the point of this? What am I doing it for? Where's it going? This is it?

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Kaydeeseeds@reddit

Took some of my retirement out to buy our first camper around 10 years ago before younger kids were too old. Best decision i made, and found a liitle lake lot to park it on. Took them on trips starting 11 years ago, Disney, Cancun, CO, CA, AZ, Vietnam and Thailand (older daughter lived in VN) and Europe a couple years ago. They are now grown and take their own trips. One is traveling from Cancun to Honduras to get scuba cert right now. Older daughter lives the nomadic van life, as is her dream. Idc if I'm more broke now, I'll still work my ok job, I have no regrets.

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Accurate_Time7120@reddit

Totally. I spent to much time taking care of a husband, kids and house. My husband hardly talks to me he takes me for granted. This can’t be my life. I need to gtfo.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

That’s another whole conversation. That happens too.

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Accurate_Time7120@reddit

It does. It does.

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Valerie_austin_1965@reddit

Why I didn't travel was because I had to work for a living

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Yup. Me too.

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Dry-Response9833@reddit

Anxiety has held me back all my life, and a couple of weeks ago I got some concerning news from the doctor, gonna be in a hospital in a couple of weeks. I've had a lot of time to reflect on my life this christmas, and I wonder what I was so afraid of. All those years of worrying for nothing.

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midniteinthedesert@reddit

I feel this. Sending hugs and healing vibes.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man. You sure are right

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RockyPatella@reddit

I absolutely regret not traveling more when I was younger and feel I missed out but doesn't matter now. I was not making a ton and was focused on my mortgage and various home repairs which always seemed to come up just as I paid off the last one. I was paycheck to paycheck for quite a while, full-time by day, freelance work by night but it enabled me to pay off my house. Now I'm finally prioritizing travel and life experiences. Really enjoy the U.S. National Parks and exploring other countries - you name it I want to do it before I'm too old to move around so easily.

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xcal911@reddit

Life was different. The world was much bigger as a Genx. The internet made it much smaller future generations.

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Key-Educator-3018@reddit

Perhaps because I knew that might happen. Perhaps because I knew others with the same regrets. I took advantage of every opportunity to travel and make memories. Go on adventures. I was open to whatever my life had on offer. Now, when my stupid irrational immune system has me stuck in a very small space, I live with the knowledge that I lived out loud for as long as I could. My adventures might not look like anyone elses but I loved every bit of it.

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Leothegolden@reddit

I think we all have things that we wished would have been different. I tend to chose men with red flags. However, you still have lots of time left. It’s never too late to do that things you want to do

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I choose women, but I see what you mean 😂

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NotSoSmartChick@reddit

I wish I’d sought treatment for PPD after having my child, and then had another child or two. Life is absolutely spectacular now - I’m in a good relationship, very financially secure, I travel often, and my adult child is thriving - but I feel I missed out on a real opportunity in my 30s.

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MiMiinOlyWa@reddit

PPD is a fucking bitch. Right there with you. I feel like I missed the first year of my son's life. I didn't have more children so didn't get another chance. And my Dad died unexpectedly when my son was 6 months old. I got better. I've been an excellent Mom. My son is now 26. I don't blame myself, I'm not mad at myself but I'll always be sad about that small period of time in my life

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Thanks so much for being real!

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Remarkable_Victory51@reddit

You going through PPD and you now are two different people so couldn’t have made the same choices. Don’t be hard on yourself ❤️ at least that’s what I tell myself for similar type of regrets. 🥰

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battlesong1972@reddit

Yes, very similar things. I’m 53 and my wife and I just started doing some short travels a couple of years ago. Still have never had a passport. I work the same dead end job I’ve worked for the last 22 years simply because it pays the bills and I have decent health insurance. I really would love to know, just once, what it’s like to have actual ambition Still, I have a family that loves me, friends I can truly count on, hobbies that I enjoy, so life isn’t bad and I certainly can’t complain.

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jeexbit@reddit

> How did time fly so fast and how did I miss all those experiences? Why didn’t I travel more? Why didn’t I make more memories? Dude, you're still kicking - get out there and have make some amazing memories, stat.

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Wacko_Banana_Pants@reddit

It really hit hard this last year when I got the work email reading "Congrats on your 25 years." I was like what? I've been here 25 years already? I hate this place and I've never really taken a vacation. It's always a 'staycation' because I always have projects around the house to complete. As someone else mentioned; now I'm too old to do some of the things I want. I'm in good shape compared to most of my friends. I work out, lift, etc but I'm still 57 so I'm not going to be talking big hikes through national forests like I wanted. I'm bummed out.

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Mice_Pants@reddit

It’s all about one’s perspective, I guess. I lived an adventurous life and traveled up until a few years ago when I realized that retirement is sneaking up on me and the adventures lifestyle did not lead to saving for it. So now, here I am wondering how I am going to make up for 25 years of retirement savings over the next 15 so I wont have to work forever. Fortunately, I have a good job, live simply and am debt free. And still I will likely be working until the end just to keep a roof over my head and food on the table. Was living an adventurous life worth it? I sometimes wonder.

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subgenius691@reddit

Regret is natural and unavoidable. Besides, who really gives 2 sh%ts about that stuff anyway.

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Fine_Mycologist_9058@reddit

No regrets people! With medical advancements we have lots of time left. Challenge your brain, our bodies they can fix.

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MinnieP2018@reddit

Time is never guaranteed.

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MuttsandHuskies@reddit

That’s right, so make the most of it!

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nice_hows@reddit

Yes!!!

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nice_hows@reddit

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get out there and do the things you want. Stop looking back and start looking at where you are right now. Do something you want to. Literally right now. Do it!!

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MuttsandHuskies@reddit

I was coming to say a very similar thing exclamation, why didn’t you travel? Why don’t you travel? Why didn’t you make memories? Why don’t you make memories? It’s never too late to do a new thing.

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parnassus744@reddit

Love this.

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ctbadger92@reddit

Dude, right there with you. Especially with my body aging there are things I won't be able to do and it's too late. It sucks.

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ThoughtIknewyouthen@reddit

The days are long but the years are short

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MinnieP2018@reddit

For some reason the anniversaries this year are terrifying me--25 years since 9/11? 10 years since Bowie and Rickman died? It feels like 5 years and 2 years to me! Really thinking of moving up my retirement date because time is moving so fast and I'm scared of wasting it.

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badchadrick@reddit

I saw a meme that said forgive yourself for not knowing then what only time could teach you. I look at pictures of when my kids were little and think that I was waiting for everyone to grow up. Then they did and all I want is to go back to when I was surrounded by my kids playing games and doing stuff together. It’s a conscious decision where you have to start choosing to be intentional and going out of your way to do things. That’s what turns into memories.

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general-illness@reddit

My body broke quickly.

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siliconsmiley@reddit

I broke my body. Multiple times. Put it back together. Multiple times. Don't know if I have it in me to do it again.

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Icy-Dependent6908@reddit

Gotta say, I wandered through my early years. Didn’t go to school until later. Parents died when I was 27, got my act together and graduated with my BA at 30. Waited tables and went to Europe, cheap, 4 times. Became a restaurant manager for a while and back to waiting tables at 40 and got my MBA. Traveled some more. Became an office manager at 46, decided to get my insurance license at signed people up for the ACA. Got bored and a client hired me to work in his office, 10 years later I am the director. Meanwhile, traveled to Europe, again, Mexico and all over California and bought a condo at 53. Oh, and decided to get married at 53 too. Turned 60 this year. Looking forward to seeing more of the world. So glad I didn’t go the “normal “ route

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

I love ur journey thru life!

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Icy-Dependent6908@reddit

Thank you! I am starting to appreciate myself more. I feel bad for my employees, most of them are so stuck. I get that life is harder, rent is higher, tuition is much higher. Totally grateful that I wandered around with no fear.

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

Attitude has a lot to do with happiness. A combo of acceptance & resistance is important as we happily age. I see what u see observing coworkers & the gen public.

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Sea_Mission1208@reddit

I am surprised how quickly time has crept up on me. It literally flew by and I hope to let that inform the rest of my time here. Let it rip!!!

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defmacro-jam@reddit

Maybe this'll make you feel better: I ***did*** travel extensively: - roughly 1600 shows — Grateful Dead, Phish, String Cheese Incident, Yonder Mountain String Band, Railroad Earth, Billy Strings, etc. - I once went to Ireland so I could walk barefoot into a bog while rolling - Hitchhiked from Texas to Costa Rica - Spent several Summers doing the EuRail thing - getting sleeper cars going a long way at night instead of hostels or hotel rooms And I checked a bunch of stuff off my bucket list: - Skydiving (in fact, I converted pretty much a whole house full of furniture and a car into lift tickets) - BASE jumping (my good leg is now my bad leg and my good arm is now my bad arm) - Motorcycling in my youth (youth being defined as the time before my body was too banged up due to BASE jumping) Ah, but because of all that — I've never owned a house (and in fact rarely even had my own apartment until fairly recently). My body is all fucked up: - tinnitus since a particular Grateful Dead show in 1987 (Red Rocks in case you were going to ask) - stiff left ankle since orthopedic surgery following a parachuting accident in 1995 - partial blindness, a useless hand, and massive burn scars because of a fiery car crash in 2006 - and a chest that git stitched back together with wire after a triple bypass in 2020 (due, I assume, to some of the excesses of the 1980s and 1990s) - and probably the 2000s, and 2010s if I'm being completely honest - and rattly sounding lungs due to either decades of Camel Lights or possibly incoming congestive heart failure So here I am, just a few years away from retirement and my best plan is to keel over while I still have a paycheck coming in. Or the lotto. I mean, don't get me wrong — I totally stomped the terra — and I've got some great stories. What I don't have is financial security. Or a bunch of dad jokes. Or a gym membership.

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Any_Spray_4829@reddit

What great perspective from someone who really can speak from lived experience :) Those sound like amazing times and I wish you all the best on your health journey going forward !

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nervouslittledog@reddit

yeah, me too, really hard to look at what the life I made has amounted to and not feel a lot of existential dread.

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Plum12345@reddit

Still not too late to travel. I like to travel but my unpopular opinion is that traveling is overrated. Historically most people never traveled much. I think there are benefits to it but it’s not something I’m going to judge the success of my life over.

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TeacherPatti@reddit

Hear hear. (here here?). I have adhd. Traveling disrupts the schedule and causes me anxiety. I'm also terrified to fly. If my husband didn't want to travel, I would never leave my area.

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KnightKrawler68@reddit

I think that travel has a lot to do with other interests in your life. Exploring the world and seeing the differences and similarities first hand between cultures in the world can be a great experience. Whether it be food, music, art, architecture etc. it can be fulfilling if it isn’t travel just for travel sake. On a side note I won’t diminish your fear of flying, I fly often and sometimes I feel uneasy with the “what if’s” as well, but to quote Superman “Statistically speaking, of course, it’s still the safest way to travel”

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TeacherPatti@reddit

Oh I know the stats and I HATE that my lizard brain is still afraid!!

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KeyIntelligent3341@reddit

Travelling is an expensive way to prove that there is no place like home.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

Traveling is over rated. Especially aince every large city is mostly the same now. Its just the same chain coffee shops ans restaurants everywhere.

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OkGeologist2229@reddit

I started traveling outsude the US ar 25 and ended up living abroad for 10 years. I live going abroad still now that I have been home for 8 years. It keeos me grounded and a sense if purpose. I knew I was never going to make a lot of money due to my lack of ambition so figured I should just go and see the world. My retirement will not be great but still have 15 more years to contribute so will be okish. There is no possible way I could have started a career at 23 and grind for decades to maybe enjoy traveling at a later age. I would never have climbed volcanoes on various continents, windsurfed in many different oceans and seas, backpacked for months on end or had the life experiences I have had I done what society told us to do. I still prioritize my trips but at a much chiller pace. It is worth it to do it now as the world is changing much more rapid than ever before. All that being stated, I do wish I had planned better for retirement as I most likely won't be going abroad after I stop working.

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newideal17@reddit

I'm in the same boat as you! I am grateful to have lived a life of adventures and travel. But now, I dont own a home and am way behind on my retirement savings. I do miss a "home base" but I'm thinking of retiring someplace cheap and not freezing, not sure what country though. It'd be nice to have a partner for that. I guess our regrets are different than others our age, but at least we traveled while we were young and healthy, and it was relatively safer and more accessible. Heck, I traveled with paper maps, paper guidebooks, and written directions to hostels! My first big trip i even had a film camera!

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OkGeologist2229@reddit

Yeees!! Me too! Remember when communication was leaving notes at hostels for friends that may or may not be on the same path as you? Trading books was the form of entertainment. Lonely Planet guidebooks and shoddy maps, picking up phrases in whichever language quickly, lots of foot travel and time waitinh for trains and busses eating multiple bags of fresh pineapple or chicken on a skewer. I would not give that up for anything. My friends here have no idea how to travel like that and adapt to major schedule changes. Those are skills acquired on the road and has kept me less uptight than many of my friends and family. I should have saved a lot more money when I worked abroad but that was weekend travel money.How many people go to HK or Bali for a long weekend or island hop in the Caribbean for a few days every month? Not many, we are fortunate because those experiences cannot be taken away. I may go teach abroad again in a LCOL country and actually save this time...maybe. I am around 50 and for sure need to be wiser with my money. That being said, just booked a week in England to road trip with a friend I met abroad years ago. The perks of having international friends whom you can stay with is invaluable and no chance I would have met these people if I had just conformed.

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benderzone@reddit

I took a lot of business and professional risks that didn't pan out. I'm in my 50's, live in an apartment, struggling with bills. But I did travel and have some unique experiences. I've got some stories. Did a few things that most people won't ever get to try. Some people have these wonderful memories and they have money. Some (like me) only have the memories- others only have the money. The real unlucky ones have neither. I think the nature of being human is that you regret what you miss more than you engendered what you gained. I try to remember that when rent is due. I don't know if I would trade my experiences for more money... but at the end of December, I wish I had the option.

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OkGeologist2229@reddit

I fully here you about money!! I have to put so much away for retirement that is not guaranteed at all, no pension, missed 20 years of contributing to SS, so I try to put away in my 401k as much as I can each check. I wish I had not stayed abroad as long but again, like you, the experiences that many have not had smooths it over a bit. It's the people, food, geography and being fully immersed, getting lost, crazy 20 hour rides on the goat and chicken bus or the actual slow boat from China experiences is what I truly cherish. I don't want a mortgage and all that hassle nor be tied down so bad I can never get out. I may go back abroad, once that 401k hits certain amount, to teach at International schools again. There is money to be made and saved, I will never actually retire and hope I will be healthy enough work part-time as a sub or aide when managing a classtoom becomes too much. Who knows between now and then.

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LetsBNiceYall@reddit

U have time! Go do those things. I'm eldest GenX (first month, first year)I know I have time. Make ur plans now, map it out.

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Dapper-Box-3111@reddit

I’m 48 and stopped drinking almost 15 years ago and got into road and mountain biking. It changed everything for me. You have to make the change, no one coming to save you.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I need to do that. I used to love it. I’m not responding to any of the braggers on here. I want to talk to real people.

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SeaUrchin_University@reddit

Not too long ago, I woke up and said I’m going on an adventure – bicycling across America. 3000 miles in 30 days, so it was tough but very satisfying. My wife helped by driving the extra gear and would hopscotch in front of me to get food and water, etc. But, we had a great time planning and executing the trip, and now we talk and laugh about all of the memories. So, I’m just providing this as an example, but think about something you, and ideally a relative or close friend, would be interested in accomplishing and you will create a lasting impact for you to remember for a long time.

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Dapper-Box-3111@reddit

I’m more than happy to provide my advice and thoughts. Feel free to DM me.

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classicsat@reddit

I like travelling. I have no idea where to go, and really need someone with me to make some of those choices, and do the planning. And if needed, driving. I wouldn't know what to do with myself, for more than a couple days at a time.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

This sounds exactly like me. If it wasn’t for my wife, we’d wander aimlessly along for directions

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needsunshine@reddit

This exactly. The logistics and decisions of trip planning overwhelm me and I don't do it. There are guided trips that might alleviate some of that though. I'm also forcing myself to take two long weekend trips this year. Flights already booked but I haven't booked hotels or anything else yet.

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dfjdejulio@reddit

There are times when I feel like this. Then I think about it, and looking back on all the shit I've done, I wonder how I'm still even alive. There's lots of stuff I haven't done, but, there's also lots of stuff I *have* done. None of us are too old to do more stuff, though. Not yet. Myself, I'm getting back into weightlifting and sketching (which I did a ton of back in the 80s and 90s), and practicing guitar (which I did a little of back in the 90s). I value acquiring skills and knowledge more than travel, personally.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’ve started learning guitar about 3 times 😂. My ADD

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impshakes@reddit

You made decisions in the moment that made sense to you at the time. And you (likely) can't recall the proper context of your reasoning for those decisions. If you try to become more aware of the reasoning behind your decisions going forward you can be more conscious of what you want in the context of the bigger picture. There is your whole lifetime left for this.

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Dirty_Wookie1971@reddit

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was

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Smadaishi4224@reddit

I have totally been feeling the exact same way! I have done the family/career but still want to do more and feel like time is slipping away

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RickHunter84@reddit

I love this saying I heard the other day, “the days are long, but the years short”. It’s how fast time goes when we have kids, work, house stuff, and hobbies. The days of what I wanted todo overridden by what I have todo. I wish I could have spent more time traveling with the kids, spent more time creating more with the family, and spent some more time with friends. In the end we all wish we had more time todo everything we wanted to.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty!!!!

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gilbert10ba@reddit

Yeah, I had it much earlier in life. Going through a minor mine myself now while I try to find another job. I absolutely hate my current job and it's bleeding into other parts of my life. But the job market is in the tank so can't leave it until I find something else. At 49, I'm seeing the ageism too.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Ty for being real with me

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PaziNuncher@reddit

You're talking like you're on your deathbed. You aren't. There is still time to do stuff. Every day is the results of the decisions you make with the time you have. If you want to do those things, make your remaining time count for more of what you want it to. Buy the plane ticket. See the show, be the show...whatever it is you want to do, now is the time.

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PilotKnob@reddit

I've traveled nonstop since I was 22, both for my career and on personal time. My favorite version of retirement is to simply spend more time at home. I have one more continent left on the list, and we're doing Antarctica soon. But then I'm done, I swear. If the ride ends today, I feel like I've already won the game. It'd be ok, but my greatest regret would be leaving my 8-year old too soon. I'd like to see her through into adulthood. That will be my greatest accomplishment in this life.

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Competitive_Jump_933@reddit

I'm 58 and it does kind of bother me that the clearing at the end of the path is closer than I like. However, people today live longer than they did when I was a kid thanks to medical advancement over the years. Longevity runs in North sides of my family and I'm lucky to have parents who are both in their mid 80s and going strong. Both get around quite well and are more active than people their age were 50 years ago. Two of my dad's aunts lived to be 99 and 100. My mom has relatives who lived to be 103 to 109. I figure I've got a good 30+ years left in me and that's an entire lifetime for some unfortunate people. I have only one real regret and that was not being bright enough to get out of my abusive marriage sooner. My progression as a person was put on pause for 20 years. My ex was emotionally abusive to me and my kids. She messed me up pretty bad but the damage she did to my kids was much much worse. But you have to have distance from some things to be able to see just how bad some things really are and I didn't get that distance until a year after she walked out on me and my kids. It took me two years to start to put myself back together and then a tragedy hit: my oldest died unexpectedly. She had special needs and my life for 21 years revolved around caring and protecting her. I lost my identity. Being her father and caregiver was most of who I had become in 21 years. Her short life is why I say the remainder of my life is a whole lifetime. She squeezed the most from every day. I'm now who I was back in 1998. Other than my wonderful kids, nothing good came from my marriage. So much of who I was my ex stole from me but I'm back now and I've going to do the simple things that I missed. I met a fantastic guy and have discovered what it feels like to be truly loved (it's scary but it's a good way!). I've been in therapy. I'm discovering again who I used to be and I like that guy a lot. He's a pretty good dude. Terrible guitar player, but so am I! Short answer is I don't wonder where the time went or why I didn't do the things I wanted to do. I know what happened now. It's not worth looking into the past for what I missed. It's unproductive. What is to come is going to be so interesting and I can't wait to experience it all.

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ReMapper@reddit

Travel now! Get out and go!

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Historical_Project86@reddit

One of my many bugbears is people whose aim is to "live their best life", or make comments about other people to the same effect. "Oh, look at that 7-year-old amputee doing gymnastics, she's living her best life!". No. It's logistically impossible to NOT live your best life, since you only have one. If you spend every weekend staring into space, you are living your best life. Also people tend to play down what they have achieved in life, I know I do, made worse no doubt by social media and what you get to see of other people's lives.

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Staff_photo@reddit

I like your perspective a lot.

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The_Burghanite@reddit

His perspective is very much in line with the philosophy of Stoicism, as contained in the writings of Seneca, Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius. Stoicism has been helpful to me.

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PropofolMargarita@reddit

What didn't you do that you wish you did? And what is stopping you now? Start living! If you feel you missed out.

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LukasLeonard@reddit

I think this way once in a while, but I’m 52 and have 4 rescue dogs and foster and active in my community for the less fortunate, so I feel good about that. I’m a homebody and while I feel I could be missing out on doing more things, I feel I’ve done it to help others and that makes me feel good not “doing a bunch of stuff.” But I did hit my bucket list item this year by going to the World Series (game 3 no less), so I like my little balance. 😁😁😁

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RupeThereItIs@reddit

>And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack >And you may find yourself in another part of the world >And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile >And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife >And you may ask yourself, "Well, how did I get here?" Nope, just you pall ;-)

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Upstairs_Equipment19@reddit

Best Gen X answer!

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Got_Bent@reddit

Letting the days go by, water fowing under the.

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MaximumJones@reddit

https://preview.redd.it/xsi688su6dbg1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=ee55a0b06d750f1d7ab1ca344f4e2d904a537370

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AngelMom1965@reddit

Hygge. It’s a Danish/Norwegian word that means cozy and content. That has been my philosophy for the last 10 years and I’ve never been happier. I don’t look for highs like expensive trips that aren’t even that great—I just want the simple things that make me happy and content.

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justonebiatch@reddit

This. Secret to life is there is no secret. Nothing to figure out or do. Nobody ever wasted their life. You wanna sit and eat potato all day, go potato it up

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mazopheliac@reddit

“Well, it’s nothing very special. Uh, try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”

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mazopheliac@reddit

You went to work, just like the rest of us.

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retrokezins@reddit

I believe time speeds up when you are doing the same things. Big key to slowing time down is to find new things to learn whenever possible like take a new class or pick up a hobby you have no prior experience in.

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QuarrieMcQuarrie@reddit

Yes this. I spent 17 years working in the same place, same people. Career changed in 2023, now am based at home but travel all over the place for work- rarely do I do the same thing consecutive days. Has made so much difference, the weeks and years no longer fly by.

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justonebiatch@reddit

Also, this is a new trick I picked up, not multi tasking. Sounds crazy, occasionally boring, but makes life slow down a lot

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retrokezins@reddit

Makes sense. Doing just one repetitive task you've done many times before, you're not even using brain power or creating new pathways. Multiple things at once likely using real brain power.

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Albus_Q@reddit

I was on our yearly canoe trip with the guys and one dude said to me, “You’re 56. Let’s say you’re physically able to do this until you’re 70. You will only do this 14 more times.” It was pretty sobering, especially because the guy who said it was 65.

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Lil_Sweet24@reddit

Wrong attitude. Should be thinking I get to do this at least every year for as long as I like.

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selekta_stjarna@reddit

Go twice a year. lol

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Sounds like you’re already making the most out of life! Canoe trips sounds amazing brother.

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TenderLA@reddit

My wife and I were both feeling the same way. So we sold some investments and bought our dream retirement home early. We decided if we didn’t do it now, then when. We don’t want to be too old to enjoy it.

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Lil_Sweet24@reddit

Where is the dream retirement home?

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TenderLA@reddit

Big Island Hawai’i

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TXtogo@reddit

You’ve got to manage your life, you can’t just let it slip by without taking time to step back and figure out your balance You manage your time, the time with people, your finances, your experiences… all of it. If I bought everything I ever wanted I’d be broke, but I don’t need to live without things I can afford either - it’s a balance. You have to manage time for yourself, time for your spouse, time for your family, time for your friends It’s really not as complicated as I just made it seem because you can always start over right now, you can hit reset any time you want.

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Frequent_Assistance7@reddit

I tend to feel this way when I start comparing my life to others. I've traveled a little bit but not a ton and honestly I hate it now. One thing I realized just the other day is that i don't want my life to be about having stuff or doing more things, it's about being the person I want to be. But if there are things you want to do, don't wait until someday because someday is now.

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quiz1@reddit

I went back to school and am starting another career. Why not? Life is short but it’s not over yet.

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JJQuantum@reddit

You have 20more years at least. Make the most of them.

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egret_society@reddit

I made a ton of memories when I was young. Travelled extensively, tried everything, did as much as I could. Now I’m in my early 50s and I feel there’s nothing left to do but still a lot of time to do it in. So I sit around getting high and watching tv, like a damn teenager lol

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Not_On_Socials@reddit

Exactly! Trying to change that now. I thought 50 was old so I tried to squeeze in everything before I got old. Now I’m not old and can’t find motivation. Looking for hobbies and things to do.

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egret_society@reddit

I’ve been digging into stuff I used to do, namely RPGs. I took on a stray whos really into D&D so I’ve been doing that. Mixed results lol. I need something to do today. I might take a scooter ride. It’s unseasonably warm here so might as well take advantage of the broken planet.

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Not_On_Socials@reddit

Thank you for the feedback. Have no idea what RPGS or DD is but I’m glad you found it again. My 2026 is about trying new hobbies, classes, etc.

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egret_society@reddit

Dungeons and dragons.

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Not_On_Socials@reddit

Thnx

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OkGeologist2229@reddit

I went through a phase after large amounts of time living abroad and moving back home in my early 40s where I had little interest in taking any such trips as they are work and not always relaxing. I am 50ish now and take shorter easier trips now to Central America or Europe for 8 to 10 days and really enjoy it. I don't do much but work and lounge around otherwise. I like the peace of not feeling I missed out on the adventure and can choose to go on a trip or not without feeling like all I have done in life is work and conform. Just my thoughts.

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JMLKO@reddit

Eh I think the measure of meaningful shouldn’t be based on bank accounts or experiences. Lots of rich well traveled people who feel the same emptiness. Being selfless more often than being selfish, showing kindness in a cruel world, being able to look yourself in the mirror and like the person you see, that is living a good life.

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rockpaperscissors67@reddit

I felt like that a number of years ago. I realized that I spent my 20s and 30s super focused on raising kids and just surviving. I had plenty of time for everything else, right? I look back and can't believe how I squandered my time. I started trying to live very intentionally. I no longer think "some day I'll do that." I'm the only one who can make things happen for me so I try my hardest to do so. It's been an uphill battle since I got divorced 6 years ago. I still have 4 kids at home (the oldest is 19 so I hate to call him a kid, but he's not totally independent so he gets lumped in here). I've fought tooth and nail to get to the point where I can afford to make memories with them and that's a big priority for me because I know in a blink of an eye, they'll be out on their own. Now I sit down and plan stuff out. I've planned monthly activities for the kids for 2026; most are pretty simple, like going to the city two hours away to window shop in a pretty fancy mall, visiting a store that has resident opossums, going hiking and fossil hunting. We're also going camping and on a trip to do three amusement parks in six days. I've planned the bigger trips I'd like to take with them in 2027 (two road trips) and I've been considering doing the Paris marathon in 2028. If I don't have things on my calendar, it's easy to say we'll do that sometime. Then sometime never comes. I don't want to get to the end of my life and have many regrets, especially about things I really could have done if I took the time to plan them out.

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Trolkarlen@reddit

You can’t do anything yesterday. Start working on this regrets now.

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gargoyle030@reddit

Part of the answer (at least for me) on the “why didn’t I travel more” was financial. I’d have loved to have traveled more outside the U.S., but I didn’t (at the time) have the money (or the vacation time) to do it. The good news, for both of us, is that as long as we’re not dead, there is still time. Go make those memories now.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I always wondered why people wait until they can’t get in a corvette, to buy a corvette…. Now I know. When you have the money to go on great vacations, you’re too old to do it. Except for the independently wealthy of course.

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LegendryBoringPerson@reddit

Europe is expensive to reach, but once you are there, it's not bad. Planning a two-week trip to Europe by train is absolutely worth it. You need a day in any major city to see everything. Please make the most of it while you're there so you don't have to make multiple trips across the ocean.

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concerts85701@reddit

It’s actually not that expensive or PTO sucking to travel if you change your mindset about it. A trip to Italy doesn’t need to be two weeks of hotels and hitting every tourist spot - do just Rome for 3-5 days and maybe a small side day trip out of town. If you watch or sign up for some apps to watch flights, they can be cheaper tonEurope than domestic. And air bnb is a good way to make sure there is a kitchen so you can cook meals instead of restaurants etc. My wife and I travel several times a year and I still have PTO left at the end of the year and we don’t break the bank doing it. One thing we do is we pick dates and then let the cheapest/best fares tell is where we’re going. It’s like travel roulette. We don’t worry about seeing everything, we just vibe a place. If we like it, we go back again. A trip is typically never more than one work week w/ the extra weekends - so 8-10 days. Change the mindset on travel and do it when you are mobile.

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thirtyone-charlie@reddit

A counselor once told me that the only way to slowing down is to make every moment meaningful. That’s a tough gig but a good goal.

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Asleep_Key_4293@reddit

Make shit happen NOW! Get fit, get out there! See the world! Start with doing something like getting a passport if you don’t have a current one and planning a trip to a country you’ve never been to. Doesn’t even have to be far. Just go!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I’m in shape for the most part. Work out five days a week. Could eat alot better. It’s the darn green paper that limits my ability to do it. I sometimes feel like I need to move into a smaller home and minimize life to free up money to travel. Kids are in high school and college right now so life is expensive!

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BossOtherwise1310@reddit

This last sentence really hits!

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Asleep_Key_4293@reddit

Totally understand. Road trip time!

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

God I love road trips. I’m old school and like to stop in small towns along the way. Haven’t done that in a long time. Need to start up again.

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Outrageous-Fan-5738@reddit

This is a great idea. Start small. You don't need to fly over an ocean to make memories. International travel can seem overwhelming and intimidating if you haven't traveled for awhile. We have lots to do and see within a day's drive of where you live!

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BossOtherwise1310@reddit

You’re not alone. Just invited one of my oldest friends over on Friday night to sit around the fire pit and drink ourselves silly… we really didn’t drink much… but I stared into that fire and listened to music for hours… contemplating everything you just said. Life is weird…. We’re all just trying to do the best we can. Sometimes we get it right… sometimes we don’t. But in reality, it’s as simple as a stupid quote from a Fast & Furious movie… “Life’s simple, you make choices and you don’t look back.”

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NoAbbreviations290@reddit

Queue the self loathing and humble brag crowd.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Man I was just thinking this.

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Providence451@reddit

Too poor for this to even be on my radar.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

I agree. It’s way easier to say “just get out and do it”. Much harder when there are bills to pay and food to buy.

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Magali_Lunel@reddit

I started traveling like a maniac five years ago. It’s not too late.

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Devildog_627@reddit

I was on my morning walk thinking much the same thing. I still cannot fully comprehend being 50. I’m looking forward to making the most of the next few decades for sure, but jfc 20-50 seemed to blink by.

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IndyColtsFan2020@reddit

It’s never too late. There are lots of seasonal flight deals all over the world so start ticking items off the list now. For me personally, I also wish I would’ve made more memories in my high school era and hung on to some of those friends. Nearly 40 years later, I still think about some of those missed opportunities.

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nocturneOG@reddit

No. I was born in 72. So I can say this with all confidence. What are you talking about!? Seriously.

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trUth_b0mbs@reddit

so then change it. Not too late unless you're dead. I absolutely loathe long plane rides; most I can do is like 8-9hrs tops. This is why I always resisted travelling to places like Asia, Australia etc. but time on this earth is limited so I'm going to suck it up, get over myself and travel to Asia next year. Also: I'm going to saving up for a first class ticket because if I'm going there, it's going to be as comfortable as possible because I deserve it dammit!.

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newwriter365@reddit

I divorced over ten years ago because I was exactly where you are mentally and emotionally. Since then I’ve traveled (having visited 44 countries) and left a career that I loved but was akin to an abusive relationship (women in tech understand this), and now work an easy job that requires little emotional or intellectual effort and is stable for the long term. This allows me to be emotionally available to my kids, enjoy simple, love-filled holidays, and be fully present. No regrets.

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Techghetto@reddit (OP)

Good for you! That sounds awesome

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Competitive-Push-715@reddit

If it matters to you,it matters. Make time for some experiences this year

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ThinkOutcome929@reddit

H-e-l-l-O la la la

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