Generational junk dumping

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GenXer76@reddit

As the unofficial historian of my family, please, please don’t throw away old photos! Find out who in the family is into genealogy and give the photos to them!!!

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effiebaby@reddit

I digitized all family photos and documents. I then put them on zip drives and gave a copy to each branch of the family. The originals, I gave to my oldest nephew (late 40's)

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I’ve wanted to do this for years but one thing holds me back: a good photo scanner. I keep looking for a good photo scanner to buy, one that scans at high enough quality to match film photos, and I keep coming up disappointed. What have you used to digitize old photos?

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effiebaby@reddit

I just have a Canon scanner. It seems to do the job.

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Pizzarepresent@reddit

Because Zip drives will never get obsoleted!

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effiebaby@reddit

It's probable, but, we are currently having 8 mm film transferred to CD's. So, even if it becomes obsolete, they are transferable.

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Crusty8@reddit

Omg so much this. Don't throw away any photos. Find out who they are and scan them in and toss them on a google drive or something. You may not care about who they are but you may later. Or one of your kids or siblings or some other relative may get into it. Even if you can't find out who they are, a local historical society may want them.

I didn't care at all about my family history until I started wondering and digging into it a couple of years ago. Now I'm obsessed and have been filling in our family tree back to when they came over on the boat into the early 1900s.

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lisanstan@reddit

Having had to clean out after my mother and mother in law, it doesn't matter, it's not fun. My mother had so much junk, mostly trash that nobody was going to want. I donated what I could, the majority was trash. I took what had meaning to me which fit in one storage bin.

My MIL started Swedish death cleaning about 10 years ago. Her house was beat as a pin, everything organized and labeled. It was helpful, but there was still tons of stuff that nobody wanted. Tons of pictures of people nobody knew, furniture that nobody needed. The grandkids took as much as they could (my MIK had great taste and didn't buy cheap) but it was still a lot.

Unless you live like an austere monk, you're going to have stuff, but if you start getting rid of stuff even you don't care about, it will make it easier on your family when you're gone. I would tell your mom she can have stuff back or you are donating/selling.

a_new_leaf_2020@reddit

SlightlyShyOne@reddit

When my sister died, she had a lot of family stuff. Old China, Waterford crystal, grandma and great grandmother stuff. I put it in a temporary storage space to decide where it would go, and what relatives would like it.

She is constantly trying to give us stuff that she wants to offload. We take it and then decide if it's sentimental or just "stuff". If it's just stuff we drop it off at the salvation army.

It's not worth the "fight" of saying no, we don't want any more junk. She has said, "this stuff is all yours when I'm gone" and how we can't get rid of something because it was "her Dad's". Well...sorry, that isn't enough.

Dimensia is rough. We take it a day at a time.

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ComprehensiveCup7104@reddit

Yes, I did very similar for 7 years. "Therapeutic lying" is the term care-givers use to manage dementia patient concerns, in this case disposing of items for your own sanity.

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OptiGuy4u@reddit

Thank you for giving us a name for it. We have to tell lots of white lies to not cause conflict. It's so rough. We typically leave there with my wife in tears but there isn't anything you can do.

Yes! I was just going to say this!

bamaroon@reddit

My mom got really mad at me a year before she died just vibing on my lack of interest in so much as a single piece of fancy dishware, figurines, or other decorative objects in her numerous cupboards and display cases. It hurt my feelings and continues to do so that she needed me to want these “treasures”.

What she didn’t appreciate was that when she died suddenly and unexpectedly, I would leave her home for the first time after she was gone with these things:

the orange plastic tupperware measuring cups and spoons she used daily since before I was born. When I use those everyday I touch my mom.
Her perfume. When I want her with me I put a little on or spray it in the air.
And I put her jewelry in a safe for later. It’s still with my dad and “his”.

Since my dad is still living I haven’t had to call up the estate sale company or junk hauler, but when that day comes, even though it will still be hard, I’ll have picked out things that are most meaningful to me, and letting go of the rest will make the few things I keep more special.

I also have a really good excuse…they are all east coast, and I live in Hawai’i

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Husbands_Fault@reddit

YES those are the things we want! The reminders of shared experiences, their real stuff that they used every day and makes us think of them

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EmploymentOk1421@reddit

I fully understand this approach. Among the accumulated belongings my mom has a collection of tea pots. I’ve been trying to convince her to gift me one occasionally bc a birthday gift somehow sits differently (emotionally) than ‘I got this after my mom died’.

SusannaG1@reddit

I got a lot of it in one go - my step-mother dumped a huge mixed lot of my dad's things, from his childhood toys to his dissertation, on me. Took me over a month to just go through it. I tossed a lot of it, though I kept things like old photographs, which don't take up much space, really.

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jupitergal23@reddit

My parents sent me boxes and boxes of photographs from my childhood.

I digitized them and put them on a digital photo frame. It was win win for me, because that frame rotates the photos and now I see the photos constantly, and I don't have boxes of photos in my house.

It took a while to digitize em tho.

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Funny-Conflict7765@reddit

Can you share the process you used to digitize the photos? Scanner? Did you date them? Add any information?

My grandmother passed earlier this year. Her father was a photographer by trade and we found boxes upon trunks upon boxes filled with photos of family and community members. I want to digitize some but it seems like an insurmountable task. I looked into sending them out for a digital service but the cost was beyond what I thought was feasible.

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jupitergal23@reddit

I used an app but I didn't add information or date them. It was already a process to simply digitize them.

Oh God, the China sets. I have one from my great grandmother and I don't know what to do with it. I don't use it. I've thought about donating it to goodwill but I bet they don't want it either.

I'd happily give it to someone if I knew they would use it.

Donate, Recycle, or toss. For items that have sentimental value but you have no idea what you would do with it take photos. My friend does this. Grandma’s spoon collection? take photos and have the photos printed in a book with captions explaining why each was important. Obviously keep some items that are really important to you.

My mother has five, count ‘em, FIVE sets of china. Her’s, her mom’s at least two from her grandmothers, and one from an aunt or something. She also has her MIL’s china. So six SETS!!! Basically service for a zillion. I’m sure she’s going to will it all to my sister who has no children then I guess on to my daughter. All these patterns are very floral completely not my daughter. My plan is if my sister lets me we save one or two plates from each setting. There are artists who carefully break china to make pendants from a small section. With all the patterns my mother has I figure that’s enough for a bracelet for my sister, my daughter and myself. I’ll just commission one of the artists. Then someone looking for that “grandma chic” aesthetic will hit a the Mother Lode at a thrift store.

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cool_side_of_pillow@reddit

And then eventually, even the photo book gets tossed.

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ER_Support_Plant17@reddit

And that’s ok. For the time being you’ve vastly reduced the amount of stuff.

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ctgjerts@reddit

Well. My stuff has been and will continue to be gone through on a regular basis. My wife on the other hand comes from a long line of packrats apparently as her stuff continues to grow.

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MuttonDressedAsGoose@reddit

I'm currently clearing out the in law's house - they both died a few months ago.

I don't have the bandwidth to deal with the decisions of what to keep and I don't have a car to take things to the charity shop. I just put it all in black bags piled in the garage. Every once in a while I pay the handyman to take it to the tip.

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para_diddle@reddit

Maybe try Freecycle or Marketplace. Or even Ebay. You'd be surprised what people are looking for.

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Husbands_Fault@reddit

Same. My mom was a hoarder, but also compulsively clean. She had so much stuff sitting in drawers and closets and cabinets and storage units. I moved her five times in the last few years of her life. Every time I got rid of a ton of stuff and every time she went out and bought more stuff. I wouldn't even look at it. It all went to charity if it was in decent shape or brand new. I wasn't going to become a victim of getting stuff dumped on me.

Went through a period of time where my mom was actually shipping me 5 gallon boxes of magazines. She said she thought I would like to read them. That wasn't the least bit true. She couldn't bear to throw them away, so she shipped them to me hoping I would store them. I did not. They went right into the dumpster at my office.

I guess ask if your kids want any of it first? I never did though because I was moving around a lot in my 20s.

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Stump303@reddit

I read a thing the other day aimed at us in particular. The article was called No One Wants Your Shit. It said that no one in our families are going to want our shot glass collection or whatever weird shit we collected that means nothing to anyone else. It was a little harsh but I did a straw poll amongst the nieces and nephews and outside of my music gear and records, no one wants any of it.

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Choice_Student4910@reddit

Wife and I downsize moved a couple yrs ago so we sold off a lot of stuff in yard sales.

we have an estate sale lady ready to go in January.

without her, my parents (mainly Mom) will continue to tell me (and my only sibling/sister) how much the stuff is 'something good'.

And to her credit, some of it IS great - cue the estate sale lady. we've had yard sales and rummage sales, galore. i had to make the decision for all of us to let the estate sale lady do her magic and the rest will get donated or trashed.

and i will NOT pass this behavior/thought process on to my (now 18) daughter. me and my husband get rid of stuff consistently. it's tough...but necessary.

my parents have 50 years of stuff that they consider(ed) worth keeping and are now realizing...it's really not.

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MichaSound@reddit

Oh God, my MIL is constantly trying to offload crap onto me that I don’t want; like this hideously ugly 1970s dinner service that she received as a wedding present and, as far as I can tell, has never used.

Everyone needs to follow the following rule. If you leave something at someone else's house, then that person is allowed to throw it away without any guilt at all. Period.

Do you know what just one share of Bell or Standard Oil is worth now? Multiple stock splits and dividends?

Definitely go through every piece of paper.

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pilph1966@reddit

There is nothing like that unfortunately. Just cash. Also no other family around that would want anything much. The cats have ensured no one wants any of it.

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makingotherplans@reddit

You never know…I said this coming from a wealth of experience on the subject.

Also…really old ladies can often be the source of the smell or the carpets etc…and once the place is aired out and everything is cleaned up, it can be really different

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KrazyKattLady@reddit

I am a hoarder by proxy from both my Mon my mil giving us this crap they no longer want. It’s beyond crazy how packed with boxes and cluttered my house it. Overwhelming. I appreciate reading these comments so I can throw some of this stuff away.

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MonsoonQueen9081@reddit

Even if you just start by doing a box a month!

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HC215deltacharlie@reddit

Hey hey hey now, don’t set your sights so high…. /s

Lol, believe me it freaks me out too. In my head, it's still the mid-80's!

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GeoHog713@reddit

No, no, no, no no. There's 2 Os in Goose.

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GeoHog713@reddit

If the stuff is functional, we give it to a church program that helps families avoid being homeless. Old, weird stuff, is better than buying new stuff, when youre getting set up in a new house or apartment.

The minimalists did a TED Talk on this very subject and it helped me frame my thoughts on the matter. The TLDR is that you want the memories, not the stuff, so take pictures, then donate what you can, then trash the rest.

I noticed some people mentioned that some items may have value or might be junk..no way to know.

Except there is. I have been using this Curio app and antique identifier apps and EBay and some other auction apps to figure out what is worth keeping and what can be sold, what is garbage…and you’d be amazed and impressed with how much is worth while and what isn’t.

My sister in law passed away a year ago and just the old posters and tickets from the concerts were worth a lot on eBay. Same for the old clothes and boots on Poshmark.

And the piles of coins and pennies and jars were worth thousands of dollars…not counting the collectables.

They couldn’t bring themselves to throw it away.

I will absolutely be calling a junk removal service. I’m confident that they’ll resell anything of value.

Old people collect things, and expect their heirs to keep their junk, or go to thr trouble of appraising and selling their junk for top market value.

I ain’t doing any of that.

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Double_Device_1626@reddit (OP)

My wife's family has assigned an inflated sense of importance to various pieces of family furniture that they claim either came west via wagon train or around the tip of South American by ship. They argue over who has what, who gets what and the 'immense value' of the pieces. The truth? They're junk. Rickety beds and dining room tables and trunks. They were either not well made to begin with or taken apart for the journey and shoddily put back together so now, the bed will fall apart if one was to actually sleep in it and the tables wiggle and sag so much they can't be used for a proper family dinner.

Thankfully my wife isn't playing their game and has taken her name out of the running for those items.

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Original_Elephant_27@reddit

I have my Nana’s ceramic Christmas tree and a seashell from her desk. It won’t mean anything to my daughter since she didn’t know my Nana. When the time comes I’ll probably take them to goodwill. When my dad started cleaning out my Grammy’s condo I wanted a very specific ceramic dish. They got rid of most everything else but any time Grammy asks where a certain item ended up they always fib to her and tell her I have it. She’s satisfied knowing I have it, even though it was all also donated to goodwill. You gotta just get rid of it. Ask them what they want and don’t take offense. The few items I have hold extremely sentimental value to me and once my time has come, that value leaves with me. It won’t be anyone else’s burden.

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Congratulations. We did that as well. Unfortunately the only way was to truly not be sentimental about stuff. Also it’s ok to tell people you’re moving stuff into “storage” if you’re worried about some specific object that you’re chucking out. Or be honest and they’ll get over it. The good news is that moving will be much easier. For us - we no longer have to work - usually takes less than 1-2 days to pack if that.

Enjoy and hope you have a wonderful baggage-free retirement.

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thornyrosary@reddit

Oh man, do I have a story for you.

My mom was a museum director, and she truly believed that the "treasures" she amassed would set her children up for life. She had an ancestral home that has literally been in our family for generations, and she filled it to the rafters, on top of the flotsam and jetsam of previous generations. When Mom and Dad both died, my sister and I started going through their house.

Fifteen years later, we are STILL trying to go through the house. We've cleared almost all the rooms except for three: the upstairs attic and two side rooms that were used for storage.

So much stuff made its way to the dump that the dump personnel know us by name AND address. Of the stuff my mom swore were "treasures", 99% of it was absolute crapola. The woman had over 200 cookie jars. What kind of maniac keeps that kind of clutter as a collection? Yes, some are 'valuable', but only to the tune of a few hundred dollars. No way the entire collection would have put a grandkid through preschool, much less college.

And now, every time we come home from a cleaning session, I go through my own home and start tossing things out. No, no way I'm going to leave that kind of mess to my kids. If nothing else, my parents acted as a stern warning as to what having too much stuff will cause.

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a_new_leaf_2020@reddit

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Over-Fisherman4669@reddit

😂 oh no! My answer would have been that it’s not actual junk but that my style/taste is completely different and I have no room.

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Queasy_Top_3560@reddit

I REFUSE to have sentimental items stored away. Either I use or display it. There may be value in some of the things but you’ll need to do research. The rest gets donated or thrown away.

My adult children were only given their individual baby stuff to do with as they please.

You are not required to keep these items. Start purging now & you will feel lighter.

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Mededitor@reddit

Just finished downsizing from a large house on an acre lot to a Baltimore row house. This required a massive cleanout of lawncare tools, stuff in the attic, closets filled with bric-a-brac, garden stuff—and clothes, furniture, it was a lot.

IKnowAllSeven@reddit

Your daughter should go shopping with my daughters! Besides socks and underwear and one pair of black pants, I don’t think my kids have bought a new - brand new - thing in years. Even their formal wear dresses they wore for prom were from the public library’s dress swap and then we got them altered

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truejabber@reddit

I hope they start a trend! We produce and buy so much STUFF that we don't need. I live in a rural area, and even here there are storage facilities everywhere. It's insane.

My (soon to be ex) wife used to question why I never got rid of a hand-me-down chest of drawers because, "It's old and doesn't match anything." I said I'd replace it when it no longer held clothes.

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IKnowAllSeven@reddit

I hope so too! There is just SO MUCH STUFF. I have been to the Goodwill bins. And the bins by us have “raw” donations meaning these are bags that haven’t even been opened, could be anything in there. Could be a Gucci purse, couple be a dead mouse. But these are the bags that Goodwill doesn’t have the staff or floor space to process and sell individually. And they roll out carts of unopened bags EVERY HOUR. It’s insane. Every hour, bins FULL of clothes that have been discarded. And I just think what are we DOING producing all of this, buying all of this. Like…it feels like such madness sometimes.

We try to be a “secondhand first” family. I will make a reasonable effort to find what it is I need / want secondhand and if I can’t, I will get new.

And we try to pass clothes around. When the kids were little we had a circle of us moms who just passed bags of clothes to eachother. I remember one day seeing a woman and her kid at the park and the kid was wearing a VERY distinctive shirt that I specifically remembered my kids wearing and we chatted and YUP, she was a friend of a friend and was the most recent recipient of the “sisterhood of travelling kids clothes”

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truejabber@reddit

Reminds me of a guy I used to with with. He was telling me about their walk-in closet (which was almost as big as my entire bedroom) and how it was packed full of stuff his wife bought, most of it with the tags still on. I asked how she could possibly wear all that and he said she wouldn’t; she’d just take it to goodwill and buy more.

I was speechless for a moment and asked if he didn’t see a problem with that. He shrugged and said, “She says she didn’t grow up with much (from what he’d told me she was from a middle class family) so she’s not going to go without now.”

I’m just…

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Find out if you have a Buy Nothing group and offer stuff on there.

Services like Greendrop can pick stuff up from your home and you choose the charity that benefits from the donation.

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hattenwheeza@reddit

Our local buy nothing hosts a Really Really Free market. We discharged three full pickup truck loads this past year. Have another ready for January

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NegScenePts@reddit

'A shame to get rid of it'...what, they think everyone is immortal or that some stranger will take it and memorialize the favourite candle holder of someone they don't know in order to carry on the candleholder legacy?!

We die, and that's a blessing because we don't have to deal with the emotional content of seeing our 'cherished sentimental items' get tossed into the bin. Hell, I'll do it years before. Stuff is just stuff. It helps us remember, but the memories exist without the trigger item.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

No one fucking cares. Were not millennials

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

No one wants your crap and your neighbors are tired of seeing it.

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PhlegmMistress@reddit

You don't leave it permanently on the curb. But yes, give local people a chance to go through it and grab what they want even if they resell. Go spend some time in r/thriftgrift

Aside from my issues with those two organizations, a lot of stuff just winds up in thrift store dumpsters anyway. Or else they post online and don't give locals a chance to buy anything except crap.

Local thrift stores= sure.

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Only_Consequence6167@reddit

Um. Never said to send it to a thirft store either. So no ill pass on the link.

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C638@reddit

Some old china contains lead - it may not be safe to use. Fine for display.

Don't throw away the photos - check with your older relatives to see if they can identify them. There is always a story behind the photo.

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ElDeguello66@reddit

Used my mother's daily use china for years ( Franciscan Desert Rose) and only heard it had lead in it after I had retired it from my use. Still have it, boxed up and put away. Not sure I'll be comfortable donating it.

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Exiled_In_LA@reddit

At some point the photos have to go. Consider donating them, with their stories, to your local genealogical society.

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Ok_Rise_8574@reddit

My mom is really into family genealogy and had written notes in old family albums - names, dates/occasions, places. I got proactive before she could pass them on to me lol. We selected photos, I scanned them, and made a Shutterfly album. I was able to condense these photos into one Shutterfly album, putting multiple photos on one page with text captions. I’m in the process of doing the same with all the photos mom has of our family growing up. I’ll make a copy for my brother and then toss all of the original photos and albums.

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tattooedlabmonkey@reddit

Some old china contains lead - it may not be safe to use. Fine for display.

Thank you I was gonna mention that in another person's post. My SIL went on a deep dive after receiving a load of china from her parents and this was what she found. I'm done using old china.

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dee_lio@reddit

Scan the photos and upload them. Then mail the originals to whomever will keep them. No need for them to take up physical space.

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You are my hero!

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Appropriate_Shoe_894@reddit

I sent photos to the kids and asked what they wanted now. I told them no was a fine answer and if they gave away something later that was fine with me. It is simply all this stuff is going away now.

My husband and I live in a dense urban area with an 850 sq-ft, 2 bedroom condo.

My frugal, low-income friend likes to sell things on ebay. He's been doing it for decades. I give him things I don't want, mostly used electronics, and he refurbishes them and sells them. And he insists on giving me a part of the profit, despite me doing nothing to earn it.

Our old photos and videos/films - I labelled the ones I new had a back story. Both in a TXT file and in the file's META data contained IN THE FILE. Nick-nacks - tossed, after allowing family to go through and pull out things that were important to them.

After my MIL moved to a senior apartment a couple of years ago, she left anything that couldn’t fit behind, including two fridges full of food. Most of it was perishable and already close to expiration. But the most perishable item I found was a box of prescription enema in the side door of the fridge. It was prescribed in 1994

So yeah, (literally) CLEAN YOUR SHIT

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SignificantCar4068@reddit

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PdxPhoenixActual@reddit

Depending on your bent, I'd look into any "charity" you might choose before donating.

That Army has a rather unsettling history & quite frankly, is not a very charitable charity.

And it seems "good"will has adopted an unfortunate corporate money grubbing mentality, too.

The wife and I lost my father, her mother and my grandparents. First I watched my mother and her siblings create all kinds of strife over “not enough” to cause strife over. Then my father passed and my brother and I spent several days filling two giant dumpsters and donating several pickup truck beds full of “end of times” provisions. My mother in law passed next and it was the same thing. My wife nor her sister wanted anything but photographs and a few dishes.

My point is, your children don’t want your shit. Both my children moved out into the big city. We sold our very large 4bdrm house and Covid hit. No garage sell, no auctions. We sold a couple things on FB marketplace but it was a difficult and different time for folks. So, we asked friends and family to take our shit. We filled a dumpster and left so much shit behind that I felt bad for the new homeowners and left a 2nd dumpster for them to fill up.(they later told us they threw their stuff away and kept most of ours!) It’s been 5 years. We are now in a 1 bdrm apartment and I cannot express how liberating it is to remove yourself from 30 years of collected shit. Currently if I want a new pair of shoes, another has to go. This is the way.

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Elle_thegirl@reddit

Working on this, getting rid of stuff from our too-big house, right now. We don't have kids. It is liberating to get rid of more "stuff". Our basement is NOT full of "stuff" like so many others because I have been jettisoning a bit every week. I still have a huge household to go through. We also live by the rule "if something comes in, something else must go out". At some point, maybe 15 years from now, we will downsize to a 2 bedroom something.

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stabbingrabbit@reddit

Knew a guy who hoarded old beautiful furniture like Buffets and other large all wood items because he couldn't stand the thought of it going to th junk yard

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What was the cost for the company to do this, if you don't mind sharing?

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Moist_Rule9623@reddit

NOT CHEAP. But the house was a hoarder nightmare… I’d have to review to be exact since I paid them in four installments, but on the order of $10-12K?

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Apprehensive_Glove_1@reddit

I've only a few things of my parent's, though dad is still alive and I expect only a few more. The rest will probably get tossed or my oldest sister will keep it. who knows.

Most of what my kids will get from me are lego sets and tech gear, and those are easily sold or re-loved. I'll be dead, so it won't matter to me, but I do hope someone keeps that 70's sandcrawler I saved up to buy. :)

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thetotalslacker@reddit

We’ve already gone through and donated or tossed almost everything from us and our parents except tools, musical instruments, and one set of nice china. We sent all the old photos off to a service to digitize them and put them in cloud storage, and the only stuff still left to decide what to do with is the old books, which will take a while to figure out if they’re rare and should stay on the bookshelf, or should just get donated to a library. It took us over two years to go through everything, but it’s so nice not being weighed down with a bunch of stuff no one will ever use and being able to easily share all those old photos with whoever wants to see them.

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mushroom1079@reddit

Give it all back or give it to Goodwill. My MIL saved every single thing my husband ever owned in his entire life. As soon as we bought a home, she and my FIL dumped all of it, as well as all of their possessions on us to keep in our garage because they didn’t have room anymore. Luckily, my husband isn’t a hoarder and got rid of all of it. I made him save a few of the things from his childhood, but I was more than happy to get rid of all the hideous things his mom “passed down”. She asked where it went and he straight up told her he gave it to Goodwill. And neither one of us felt bad. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Our garage is not your storage unit. And we have no desire to hang on to or use your hideous old “china” (not china) from the early 70s.

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PolyDrew@reddit

Please do not give to goodwill. They pull anything of potential value out and sell it on eBay, making it impossible for local shoppers to find good, fun deals. They mark up clothing and decor items to the point that buying new isn’t much more (sometimes over price tags already on the clothing from other stores.) Their CEO is a multimillionaire.

Look up local charities that will use the items for local people. We have one, for example, that sells items to supply art supplies to local schools, etc.

ProgressPractical848@reddit

Rent a $1500 dollar a month storage unit that you will forget about / have no desire to visit. Once or twice a year pontificate about cleaning it out. After 10 years and paying $180 k you can then hand it down to the grandkids or great grandkids. Keep the tradition alive!

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WeirdWillieWest@reddit

Fif-fiftee-Fifteen hundred A MONTH?

No wonder there's a storage facility every 10 miles in this country.

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evergreen628@reddit

My mom is in her late 70's. I have an aunt on her side and two uncles on dad's side with no kids. Not looking forward to going through all of their stuff when they pass. Trying to get them to downsize but it always turns into an argument

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ubiquity75@reddit

So much shit. I ended up with two generations’-worth in my small home. I finally had to have tough conversations with family members and let them know that I would be letting go of their furniture and other things they parked on me, lovely though it was. It was neither my style nor appropriate for the size of my home. You would think I had suggested murdering a child. It was tough. But I prevailed, and it also meant I was able to create a much more comfortable space for when they visited.

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Choosepeace@reddit

We got rid of all of that kind of stuff, donating and giving away. It was so freeing!

My mom constantly re-gifts junk she got from others to me for birthdays and Christmas. I am talking Dollar General level stuff.

She also has several totes full of worthless teddy bears and dolls that others dumped off on her over the years.

I have to spend most of my time on trips home for 10 plus years now researching their value.

She gets mad when I can't even find anything listed on E bay or Facebook for a dollar and tell her to take them to church or local charity and donate them.

She is keeping them "for me" since they are worth so much though.

Can barely walk through the basement with the shit she has hoarded over the years and she blames my deceased father for it.

zoot_boy@reddit

This / divorce and moving twice will really set you straight. Also, not recommended.

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tez_zer55@reddit

I'm retired, my wife is close to retiring. We've been going through all of our "stuff". The first thing we did was ask family (our kids, grandkids & younger siblings) if they wanted anything we have. If it's something we use, we put it on the list for the will. If it was something we no longer use, or felt we could do without, they took it with them. Some things had to be negotiated or gifted by age or interest. We have sold some things on FB Marketplace & already hauled stuff to different charities, book stores, local resale shop etc. We also have been adding items to our trash bins as we go. It's difficult sometimes to rid ourselves of "stuff", but it'll be easier on the family when we die.

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Techchick_Somewhere@reddit

I sold all of my grandmothers silver tea set to a woman who moved here from Russia and had left all of her belongings behind. She was elated to find it.

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RangerSandi@reddit

When my hubby & I downsized to travel by RV for 4 years, I was already retired.

We asked the kids about their things still at the house. Most of it ended up donated.

None of my family wanted my grandmother & mother’s handmade quilts. I photographed them for my memories & sold them on FB marketplace to other quilters (not vendors) who appreciated the craftsmanship.

Same for a set of rare Red Wing Pottery dishes from 1952. Buyer was re-creating her mom’s wedding set for her brother.

I’ve been a photographer since age 10. I’m finishing digitizing & ruthlessly editing my collection. We did take that on the road as my hobby-project. Family history photos from the late 1800’s - WWII I’m still trying to g to find a family willing to take. Most want digital only😔

Stuff that wasn’t kept, sold, or given away was donated to DAV or Goodwill. Also filled a dumpster with misc. crap.

Felt good to free ourselves from the “stuff.” No regrets.

I would consider using it.

At least once (at least) a year a typical couple will throw a party.

Pull out that china , those silver goblets, tureens, butter domes, and fine cutlery. Put the figurines on display. Open up that curio cabinet and throw a "All the Crap my Parents Left Me" party.

Cook crap that requires a relish dish, little white onions and mini pickles.

Use the stuff. If it breaks., oh dear. Laugh about it and toast the users who came before you. Make it a tradition to use it once a year. Let your kids see you and they can continue it.

Just an idea.

I’ve been doing this myself since my wife died. We didn’t have kids, and I don’t want my family to have to go through this junk so I’m gradually going room by room and trying to find a good home for stuff and if I can’t then it goes to Goodwill or a local college that has a ‘free’ store for students.

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Express-Studio-8302@reddit

I was complaining once that when we bought this house the previous owners just left the garage attic space filled with old crap, resting on dry wall between the rafters (seriously wtf). Boxes of deterioted national geographics, broken chairs
all sorts of just crap. we spent a day hauling it out and had to pay to get rid of it.

My mother in law seemed to think it was fine to leave a ton of stuff behind. And I was like, so someone else has to take care of it for them? And she looked really guilty. I think she did that to someone.

I dread the thought going through their houses, which is likely to happen in next 10 uears.

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skspoppa733@reddit

Donate the useful stuff, toss the rest gradually.

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9inez@reddit

We passed all of the stuff passed to us onward years ago and quit receiving more stuff unless it was a replacement for something we’d get rid of.

We are also in the process of streamlining in prep for retirement and downsizing to a smaller home in a less hectic environment.

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LissaBryan@reddit

Here's the thing, from someone who works in a museum:

The original paper copies of photos are the safest way of preserving pictures. (Exception being stuff past 1970 or so that were printed on acidic papers.)

Digital copies are incredibly fragile. It only takes the loss of one or two bytes to destroy the whole thing. Software companies go out of business. Cloud storage is vulnerable to hacking/theft/being locked out for whatever reason.

If you keep the photos on your own storage drives, you need to keep updating them as technology changes. Does anyone have a way to read a floppy disc now? Even a CD-Rom? (We have to keep some older computers at our museum just to read the discs people donate to us with their family archives on it.) Secondly, you have to worry about corrosion. CD-ROMS are made of a very vulnerable type of plastic which breaks down pretty fast.

Have a family gathering. Get everyone to look at the paper photos and try to identify the people. If they can't, well, no need to keep them, right? Anyone who can be identified should have their names written on the back in pencil or India ink (they make photo marking pens for this purpose.)

Decide who will be the family archivist and give the photos to them. You can also see if your local historical society is interested in adding them to their archive.

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ChimpoSensei@reddit

Unless it’s someone important no historical society wants these pictures either.

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LissaBryan@reddit

My friend, I WORK for a historical society and I'm telling you we gratefully and delightedly accept photo collections of non-important people. Our job is to document life in our area, and photo albums, especially of identified persons, is part of that mission.

Omg .. my mother was a legit hoarder. She died nearly 4 years ago & my brother and I are still working through that house .. 😒

cowfishing@reddit

I ended up with old china and silverware. I threw my stuff out and use the old stuff as everyday ware.

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Traditional_Fan_2655@reddit

Make everyday special!

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bonepugsandharmony@reddit

I wonder about that, too. I can’t really see newer generations taking on as much (multiple sets of china and silver oyster forks are probably not gonna be a new couple’s accumulation goal), but I can see people who aren’t in love with over-consumption being drawn to attractive, affordable, existing, useful things vs. a new set of bullshit plates from Target.

Personally, I love all the old sets of China and silver serving pieces my southern MIL passed on to me (she had no interest and was thrilled when she realized I was her “out” 😂). But I don’t lie to myself about the resale value of any of it. And we use it all! Except the oyster forks.

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Candid-Pace-8571@reddit

When my dad died, he left behind a massive amount of stuff. My brother and I aren’t super close, but going through all of it was a good bonding experience. It brought back a lot of fond memories. He took all the photo albums and letters, along with some other sentimental stuff, I took some of my dad’s books and a few nice pieces of furniture, and then we had a massive tag sale. It was a hassle, but we ended up making over $5,000. Then we rented a dumpster and chucked anything that was left over.

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sits_with_cats@reddit

My cousin took a bunch of her Mom's costume jewelry & wrapped it around styrofoam pieces, turning it into Christmas decorations. She made a wreath, & a couple small Christmas trees. They looked great! I wished I had thought to do something like that with my mother's stuff.

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secret_thymus_lab@reddit

Love this idea! I’m going to see if there’s enough costume jewelry to make a wreath or a tree centerpiece!

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SpreadsheetSiren@reddit

We got it dumped on us when my in-laws sold their house to move into a retirement community. They wanted to get rid of it, but they didn’t reeeeaaaly want to get rid of it, IYKWIM.

The kids took their bedroom sets. We were able to unload a nice La-Z-Boy sectional to a young couple for $400.

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OneCraftyBird@reddit

Swedish Deyth cleaning has absolutely changed my life, and not just because I use it to declutter. I have it in my head now before I even buy something in the first place.

If it’s not useful it gets tossed unless there’s a ton of sentimental value.

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wonderwife@reddit

Sentimental value to OP, not to his parents.

My in laws required two semi trucks (plus several van loads and a trailer) when they moved to our city a few years ago. Not U-Haul trucks, SEMI trucks with containers full to the brim.

They now have a 5k sqft, 5 bedroom, 3 bath, 3 car garage home with outbuildings and acreage that they have continued to fill to the brim with "treasures" they find at estate/yard sales. These are people in their late 70's who live by themselves; just the amount of "stuff" these people have (and keep collecting!) gives me anxiety.

They say they're building their legacy for us to have later on... We're not interested in this gift of obligation.

Probate lawyer here. Some how, some way, it's all getting junked. It's only a matter of when.

If the stuff gives you pleasure, keep it. If it only holds a good memory, photograph it, upload the photo to social media and write a caption.

If someone tries to shame you into keeping an item, mail it to them. Double points if you mail it to them COD.

I always chuckle every time a family member prattles on about mom's china cabinet and the valuable china that you can't use. It's a priceless family heirloom...until you see how much it costs to ship. Or you're trying to dump it on a youngster who is struggling to afford a 200 square foot efficiency.

I can't give away fine china, china cabinets, pool tables, and pianos. They cost a fortune new, resale is close to zero, and they are expensive to move.

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Exiled_In_LA@reddit

If someone tries to shame you into keeping an item, mail it to them. Double points if you mail it to them COD.

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Same-Text8718@reddit

We got a small storage space. And then really evaluated what to donate, toss, or store

Having the option of a storage space that didn’t clutter our spaces made evaluating a lot easier

Then, if you know there’s something that is definitely not something you will use, but you know it has sentimental value, you can store it guilt-free

Also, sometimes things don’t seem valuable now but come back into style in a retro way

People aren’t really hosting formal dinner parties - especially since Covid. But Gen Z or older Gen Alphas may want to do that to rebel against crappy delivery/takeout or eating alone. Then you can pass down or sell if you have it in storage

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norfolkgarden@reddit

If you can afford it, it is irrelevant because you can't take it with you. But pay attention to how much the storage is costing you every year. It adds up quickly.

I stored everything I owned during the divorce, and I'm glad I did. However, I only took a third of it when I stop traveling for work and finally moved into a stable place.

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Same-Text8718@reddit

We did our homework and I’m in financial sent for everyone, but it was the solution for us

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VeronikaGhost@reddit

Oh dear God this is my current nightmare since I moved into my mom’s house twenty years ago. There are like 2 rooms and a bathroom that are mine and everywhere else has piles of stuff all over. Not hoarder level but I do believe it could get that way if I didn’t live here. She is alway “working on it” to clear stuff out but then she goes and picks up new junk from buy nothing. Like an old metal bed set that she is going to “make into a garden fence” and then it sits outside and rusts for at least 5 years, and god forbid I suggest a dump run to clear out the garage which one can barely walk through. Actually you can’t walk through. You can access nuts from the door to the house and some from the garage door to the outside. But you can’t walk through.

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Armadillo_of_Doom21@reddit

I’ve cleaned out the houses of 3 dead relatives in two years. Be kind to your heirs and family and donate it. No one wants most of the crap that fills American houses and garages and attics.

If you can sell it, good for you, but in my experience even nice things are hard to monetize. You can probably sell grandma’s silver and a few other items, but I don’t think many people are paying more than a pittance for used items that aren’t high quality antiques. Even the “collectibles” are probably worth a fraction of their original price.

Be kind and get rid of it. Call mom and the kids and your relatives and give them a fair shot at anything they might want, but if they haven’t picked it up in 6 months, take it to goodwill.

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Pleasant-Caramel-384@reddit

I would try to keep anything that has a lot of sentimental value until all interested parties have passed or are beyond the point of caring.

But yeah, if it’s really getting to be excessive, I don’t think you should think twice about selling or donating. I like the idea of taking photos, too.

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trahnse@reddit

My mom died a few years ago and clearing out her house was quite the chore. She kept everything. She had Christmas and birthday cards dating back to the 60s, bank statements and canceled checks from the 90s, a billion cookbooks, cake stands, and sewing supplies.

We borrowed a big ass trailer, loaded the vast majority of stuff into it and donated it. We took the things that meant something to us and the rest went in a dumpster.

Things are sentimental. Just because it was sentimental to her doesn't mean you have to keep it. Getting rid of clutter does not erase the memories or feelings you have surrounding those items.

We are child free and after clearing moms house, I got rid of a ton of our crap. I don't think my nieces and nephews are going to give two shits about most of my crap, so I'm clearing it out now.

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dormouse6@reddit

Same…no kids and I’m thinking it seems most likely they would pull up a dumpster if they end up with our house, so I might as take care of it first and at least enjoy some clutter free space. Easier said than done of course.

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Appropriate_Gap1987@reddit

An auction house would need to sell my home plus 2000sq ft attached garage. This is the longest I've lived in one place. As a hobby, I used to buy and sell storage units, auctions, yard sales, any and all junk was welcome! We kept the stuff we liked and sold or trashed the rest. I love going to estate auctions!

My place is full. I am not a horder, everything is used or decorating walls. Amazing art that I've never had appraised. My parents both passed so their and my grandparents heirlooms are incorporated.

Its all junk to me, thats what I call it anyway. I know venders who sell at flea markets or festivals. Some folks contract to go in homes and take every single thing. They sort it out, toss trash then keep or price anything of value. It's a thing I have done, no different than clearing the storage units I bought.

Go to festivals or flea markets, ask some of the vendors who sell junk. They will likely know someone.

Try Facebook marketplace, advertise in local county or relevant sites. I would think this doesn't need to be said, but obviously Interview before hiring someone to go near the place. Ask for credentials, keep it professional. An auction house could also come in to sell in place or take everything.

If it were me, I would go through every single thing. Older generations used to hide money in books and artwork. Depends on how much of a horder situation you are dealing with and if there is actual value somewhere in that mess.

An nice coin collection could fetch a pretty penny, maybe there is a box of grandma's old jewelry. I once heard a guy at a local auction house bought an old set of encyclopedia for a couple bucks. He noticed it was stuffed full of $100 bills, otherwise the books would have gone unsold.

The junk bug is real and it can be fun.

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phrozen_waffles@reddit

if it has sentimental value, take pictures of it then donate/sell.

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No_Gold3131@reddit

I junked most of my mom's possessions. It sounds cold, but she died at the beginning of Covid and we were under financial pressure to sell her house in an uncertain market and in a timeframe that was compressed. I took one tea cup, a couple of my dad's books (there were over 2,000 books in the house!), and kept a couple sweaters of hers that I knew I would wear. We found a couple pieces of jewelry hidden around the house, as well as some money (NOTE: IF YOU DO THIS TYPE OF THING PLEASE TELL YOUR CHILDREN WHERE THEY ARE).

Other family members retrieved one or two things. Books were donated to used book dealer, a few things were sold, slightly more donated. However the vast majority went to "Got Junk".

I can honestly say I don't miss any of it. Loved the woman, her memory lives in me, but her stuff is gone.

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Icy_Painting4915@reddit

Throw it away! Don't bother with donating or giving away useless junk. People who want to "save it from the landfill" don't realize that is where it is headed and keeping it from the landfill for a few extra years doesn't help the planet. If it serves no useful purpose throw it away, otherwise the task of sorting, deciding what to donate or sell will be so overwhelming that you won't do it.

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Kalelisagod@reddit

If it has no value to you then it’s donate or sell. I’m a minimalist and twice a year my wife and I go through all our items and donate etc. my mom tries and load us up every year with stuff she doesn’t want but wants to keep in the family. It doesn’t stick around our place either and I usually wait and donate after holding it for awhile.

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BrokenStrides@reddit

This really fried my ass with my ex-MIL. Always dumping stuff on others that she didn't want, but presumably felt guilty about getting rid of. Like, hello, we don't want that junk!

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do it, get rid of as much as possible then some, after mom died dad later remarried a woman in another town several hours away moved to her place and sold the family home, he said he couldnt live there anymore with too many memories.

guess who got to go thru and junk out my parents 45 year marriage household. its fucking grueling, watching mom die of cancer was bad but this was worse. parceling out pieces of family history to anyone who would come get it.

my wife was similarly trauma dumped but worse, her family's home was a120 year old farmhouse with shit from 6 generations stacked in it that had to go.

we have out own house our own place and traditions, we have a bit of the parents stuff, my wife more so than I, but you cant let your place become a shrine/ museum to all your parent junk.

I've deliberately disposed of most everything I can and its still cluttered, none of our kids live near us. and I dont want to put them thru what we had to go thru.

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effugium1@reddit

I’m going through my parents’ house after my mom died and throwing out so much junk. I’ve actually put some stuff on marketplace and sold it but a lot of it is just stuff that was important to them. For instance, my mom saved every greeting card she received since the 1960s. We’re talking boxes and boxes full of cards. It’s nuts.

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k8enator@reddit

For costume jewelry, I ask around and offer it to people. When everyone interested has picked through I'll usually offer it to any younger kids for dress up play, with their parents permission of course. Clip on earrings are almost always a big hit with the littles.

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typhoidmarry@reddit

I’m old Gen X and had old parents.

I threw away 90% of the stuff I got from mom. I don’t have “good” china or anything like that because I don’t need it.

Donate and trash whatever you want. Blame me.

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UniqueIndividual3579@reddit

I gave my daughter the wooden box of her great grandmother's silver utensils. She will likely sell it. Fine china, china hutches, and good silverware are just not wanted by the younger generation.

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Emotional_Bonus_934@reddit

I'd start with the categories you've listed. Sort through each, thinking about what you like, if any. Keep what you like and donate the rest unless you feel thete would be a market for it.

You can also put it on the Buy Nothing group and give it to people.

Once you're through your parent's stuff you can sort your own, either by category or space. Space can be a room, piece of furniture, top of furniture, shelf

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NationalGeometric@reddit

Take pictures of stuff. scan photos. Then toss. Photos can be reprinted if needed. Keep things that are critical to your family history and tell a story.

I have my grandmother’s suitcase she took to college in the 1940s. It has old stickers from that time. I have a globe 🌎 that was at my grandparents house. One day, I noticed pin holes where certain islands were. He was marking where they sent him in WW2. A zero hit his ship. Someone else in my family has a piece of red metal from the plane’s flag.

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jackparadise1@reddit

When my brother and I cleaned out my parents house, we had a rule. Everything goes in the dumpster unless you can take it away now. If we wanted it, it had to leave after that day with us. My father had been a child during the depression and it had taught his parent to become pack rats.

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froggymail@reddit

This is our summer plan. I did the garden shed last summer and got inspiration from it. Time to tackle the rest one section at a time. I read once where someone took pictures of the items they never used but have emotional attachment before getting rid of it. I may try that. I have inherited so many weird large items I don't even know where to begin after the Google search.

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brwnb0mber@reddit

Went through this when my parents passed away. They were first generation immigrants so their motto was to save stuff "just in case". The amount of wood my dad used to keep from projects and scrap was pretty intense and my mom used to keep old clothes and trinkets. I must've had to do at least a dozen dump runs with my trailer.

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LTK622@reddit

Agreed, it’s ridiculous.

But it’s common that parents can’t let go of the past, which is understandable if they’re afraid of death or struggling with their own mortality. Getting rid of something forever can feel like the end of a chapter in life.

If an elderly relative asks if you still have some “memorabilia” they handed down to you, I think it’s a kindness to make up a lie. “We loved it so much and we used it so often that it eventually broke down.”

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Karthanon@reddit

We did a clean out of our crawlspace (4 level split, so there's a lot of space for storage) this last summer. Hauled everything out, went through it all, and were savage in what we actually kept. Our two adult kids helped us. And they decided what they wanted to keep of ours already and separated it.

Old ribbons from track and field day from junior high? Gone. Junk electronics or old old obsolete computers sold off to collectors, so much ancient paper records (for our first mortgage in 1999 after we got married, for instance), why was I keeping that? All trashed. Anything else that was remotely sellable we sold off, asked people if they wanted it, or donated it (so much old clothing that "I'll fit into this next year, I swear!").

Took three weeks, raised up so much dust from being down there for almost 20 years that I bought two air purifiers and ran them 24x7, turning the filters almost black with dust.

Next summer it'll be the garage's turn. I'm not looking forward to that.

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Crewstage8387@reddit

Having cleaned out my parents’ 2700 sq/ft storage unit…I mean house…I feel this. I only kept the stuff that I remembered and had fond memories of. It was exhausting.

Feel no guilt getting rid of stuff. Someone else will find joy in it.

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nerdPatrol2@reddit

Donate. They’ll never know it’s gone if you don’t tell them

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coldbrewedsunshine@reddit

when we moved my mom out of her house, it was a nightmare of accumulation. we handpicked items that had meaning, and donated/dumped/gave away the rest. after that, i asked my sisters and my mom if there was anything they wanted (that i might have); told everyone that i was cleaning house and giving stuff away to goodwill, and that i expressly didn’t need/want more stuff.

Costume jewelry= trash can I have my own figurines of things I actually like If nobody else in the family knows the people in the photos then =trash can I have lots of my grandmother's handmade pottery dishes so those type get a pass from me. Anything else if its usable it may get a pass or it may get sold

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LissaBryan@reddit

I envision me tossing out things only to have my mother call and ask if I still have her mother's favorite candle. "Cause you know she loved it so much, it would be such a shame to get rid of it".

The answer to that is always "Yes, I still have it. It's in storage. I'd get it for you but it's such a long drove to get to the storage place and such a pain to dig down through all the boxes to get to it."

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EntertainerNo4509@reddit

Any hot wheels or matchbox cars?

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RebaKitt3n@reddit

Hey, if she gave it to you, it’s yours to dispose of.

Have a garage sale. Anything that doesn’t sell goes to a thrift store to resell.

If it’s just taking up space, dump I!

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Melissaschwart@reddit

Get a china cabinet

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Kristophorous@reddit

My in-laws are the same. And now that people her age are passing away, they are more than ever saying “you need to take that. It cost a lot of money 30 years ago so it has to be worth something.”
Mom, we have no room and I don’t like a clutter led house.

emmy_lou_harrisburg@reddit

My father is a retired auctioneer and antique dealer. My mother and him regularly go to estate sales. Their house is full of all the boomer nonsense. I don't want any of it. I will hire someone to deal with it. I have promised myself that I will only keep the precious metals and stones. The rest? Nope. They are compulsive shoppers and I'm not beholden to their consumption.

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fourofkeys@reddit

can you ask your mom if she'll take any of it back? that way she knows you are organizing your stuff and also has an opportunity to reconsider before whatever you get rid of moves on to another home.

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Punkrockpm@reddit

Try to sell stuff. If you can't or no one wants to buy it, then offer things on your local "buy nothing " groups.

If there absolutely no takers, then donate.

There's also trash hauler that will take things away and recycle, etc for you (can't recall the name of a popular company, sorry).

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90Carat@reddit

The costume jewelry is wild. We have boxes of that passed down. I had my kids go through and take what they wanted, shipped the rest off to charity.

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Princess_Parabellum@reddit

My parents are in Swedish death cleaning mode and I've staked a claim to a few things with sentimental value, but it's not the stuff my parents think I "should" want so there's been some friction. Like my mom's china and silver place settings which totally do not fit my life, but my mom is low-key guilting me for not wanting it. Sorry, mom.

I moved cross country 6 years ago and did a massive purge, but it's a constant fight. Fortunately I don't have kids so nobody will have to deal with my leftover crap after I'm gone. Some things I'll make plans for, other stuff I'll sell (jewelry), the rest of it they can chuck in the dumpster or have a huge bonfire with.

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I say pass it on to those who will treasure it. We've done some of that in my family.

My grandmother made some astonishingly elaborate candleholders using quilling techniques as table decorations for my parents' wedding. The guests took most of them home, so only a few that were damaged were left, but my mother kept them. Decades later, my sister, with our agreement, gave them to a friend who knew how to repair them. That friend has since then moved to Australia and repaired and restored them to their full glory and sent us a photo of them on her mantel decorated for Christmas. Grandma put a lot of work and care into those, and now, because we were willing to let them go, they have a whole new life with someone who treasures the artistry that went into them and has the skills to keep them in repair.

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MrBrawn@reddit

Some things I would keep like the silverware and China. Even if you dont use it, future generations may thank you. That said, garage or estate sale and donate or trash what doesn't sell. Nobody cares about figurines and whatnot unless they have specific memories attached.

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Sweaty-Seat-8878@reddit

with no malintent i need to burst your bubble…. no one wants the china either. Go to a habitat store around here and you can have your pick of once very expensive 12 piece china settings

And the silverware is better off being melted down if it’s real silver.

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MrBrawn@reddit

You're correct. Im just thinking that trends come around and around again so while nobody cares right now, they may in 20 years. Also if the china has a story not just something your parents bought. Still though that kinda depends on the history of the china.

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Sweaty-Seat-8878@reddit

yeah i hear that. I know it works that way for furniture styles, people made a fortune just putting old, cheaply bought mission style furniture in barns and waiting for it to get “hot” again.

I think the social use case for china is worse outside of very niche collectors though….smaller families, different dining habits and all but the very very high end stuff was produced in quantity so it really isn’t rare.

But you are making me picture the antiques road show episode where they say “it’s a one of a kind set of 12 made by a master, if it was complete you would be looking at $100,000…unfortunately there is a chip in the #9 soup plate so it is only $350”

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ircsmith@reddit

You got some easy stuff. I got a 42 foot RV dumped on me.

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Weird-Ninja8827@reddit

Make sure you tend the shitter regularly. Don't want to have to empty it into a storm sewer.

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Double_Device_1626@reddit (OP)

gif

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ohboyoh-oy@reddit

Sounds like the Swedish death cleaned onto you. Time for you to do some Swedish death cleaning of your own?

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Commienavyswomom@reddit

Döstädning is definitely folks in the U.S. need to pick up on.

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I get the feeling—but you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor to take even a small step to move on. By all means, keep anything you truly treasure—but don’t hold on to mountains of stuff that have no use or meaning to you, other than it once belonged to them.

TrianglePope@reddit

If she really calls to ask about specific items, you can deflect: “Sure! Oh I’ve been meaning to ask you about….”

Or: “We’re so happy to tell you that Grandma’s Candle lives on with people who will cherish it as much as we did!” or some claptrap.

I mean, if it was so damned cherished, mom could have kept it instead of gleefully offloading it onto you. You could always bring that up. 😀

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South-Juggernaut-451@reddit

Told my hoarder sister to clear her stuff or we’ll just make a dump run when she’s dead

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garulousmonkey@reddit

I sell it or bin it. The caveat is that I’m not near retirement.

And my Mom knows better than to give me her mom’s favorite stuff. I have 0 sentimentality for any of those things. Those go to my sister’s.

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fiercelittle1@reddit

Recently went through downsizing my own collections and my family heirlooms prior to a cross country move. You might look at it this way when on the fence - maybe it's time for someone else to enjoy these collections now. Keep only what you truly love and know someone new may be thrilled to have your "collections" and keep the spirit of love and joy your folks had for these items alive. It makes me happy to think the lovely vintage and antique items I gave away or sold for a fraction of their value are gracing someone's side table or mantle.

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Halcyon512@reddit

Kept a few pieces that I remembered seeing growing but but donated everything else. I still don't know why she thought I needed an antique non working sewing machine of zero value but I kept it for as long as I could out in the shed then finally parted with it during a clean out

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Omg this!!! I can relate. I don’t want to do this to my kids! We schedule porch pickups through a charity and Alwasy try to have something to get rid of

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MaidenMarewa@reddit

I'm working my way thru my own stuff. Pictures I took in the 80s have been popular with archives and museums as they feature events that no longer happen and have been great nostalgia for people who attended back in the day.

Salvation Army.

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SpankyDammit@reddit

When I was forced to move 7 years ago I had an attic chock full of stuff. I felt bad but rented a dumpster and chucked SO much stuff I could have sold on flea-bay. Childhood toys, my mom’s wedding dress nobody wanted etc. It’s a relief now but near crushing guilt at the time.