In his last years, he and I spent plenty of time in the VA med center nearest us. He had congestive heart failure. I got a real education on what Vietnam vets look like today. And in how well we continue to care for all our vets. I got in the worst fight with an old high school friend who argued - on Veteran's Day in the run up to the 2016 election - that we need to cut benefits to veterans. That person is no longer a friend.

My dad had pretty serious survivor's guilt about Vietnam and always insisted on the Vietnam era label, reserving the Vietnam Vet name for those who served in Vietnam. That is the norm, of course. But he also felt incredibly lucky not to have had to go, even though it was my illness that kept him here. But watching him interact with vets his age was also a revelation, to me. There was great care and respect. They definitely still reminded him of the boys he trained and sent off.

My family members have served in the military since the Revolutionary War. There is a more difference between my uncles who served in WWII and Korea (though plenty of likenesses as well) and those who served in wartime after that time than can entirely be accounted for by how the armed conflicts were received at home. People acknowledge PTSD more, but there are also different kinds of lasting damage. While Vietnam Vets may have, during and immediately after the war, been treated horribly, they are vets like any other vets today.

They still have different kinds of damage, many of them having been drafted to do things they did not want to do, and gotten little respect on arriving home and trying to reintegrate into civilian life. And I ran across a number of them who still feel some resentment at being told "thank you for your service."

Like I told my ex-friend, we hired these people to do a horrific job on our behalf. We owe them support and care when they return. We do not give it to any of them, or rather we give the bare minimum, and that grudgingly.

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Hour_Succotash7176@reddit

I have a couple little military things in my cubicle, but nothing over the top. All my plaques are on the wall at home. Everyone at the office says I have the best stories though.

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Savings_Room1402@reddit

Same dude, i won't even wear one of those stupid hats

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ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit

Yep, I have a brother in law who served in Afghanistan, but you wouldn't know it. Meanwhile, his next door neighbor is more like this.

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Florginian@reddit

I work here! We do run pickup operations that helped us stay open during COVID and make up a big part of our revenue.

HorseFeathersFur@reddit

70 years ago. 🙂

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ToTooTwoTutu2II@reddit

I don't think anyone has any hard feelings towards Vietnam Vets these days.

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Open-Committee-998@reddit

There isn’t one. Vietnam vets are in their 70’s+, most people younger than them don’t remember the war, or the time and culture around it, and most of those people weren’t even alive during the war. Personally, I don’t give a shit if you fought in a war 50 years ago. Doesn’t mean jack shit to me, and my dad was a Vietnam vet.

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Horangi1987@reddit

I have a unique perspective, because I am unusually the daughter of a Vietnam Vet but also a Millenial. Dad adopted me when he was a bit older than most parents back in the late 80’s.

The first reaction is often ‘huh?’ because they don’t have nearly the awareness that the Greatest Generation WWII vets did (or do, not many left though).

The second reaction varies from hostile (they’re baby killers!) to absolute pity (and yes, my dad does have Agent Orange and severe PTSD, hence the adoption because he understood the risks of having children).

Those guys got a rough ride. It was an absolutely brutal war, still fought the old fashioned way before drones and surface to air missiles and whatnot. Then they were hated back at home. Unsurprisingly as a result a lot of them had serious social issues after the war, more so than the Greatest Generation. They got a bad rap as a result.

mostlygray@reddit

Tremendous respect for Nam vets. I've known many of them over the years. Some of them didn't commit suicide or die young from substance issues or unknown factors.

Most of them were unstable, afraid, aggressive, angry, friendly, loving, and wonderful. Then they were gone.

A war that no-one wanted, no-one supported, and no-one cared to help those that came home. It was bad.

Still, I've got at least 1 Vietnam vet friend that's still alive. He does pretty well. He's a big fan of Satchmo. We connect that way. He's on the edge, as one would expect, but he does OK.

All the rest are dead, either by their own hand or health issues or substance abuse issues. That kind of peaked about 15 years ago. Now I have one. Well, 1.5 I guess to be fair.

Nam was not OK.

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tipareth1978@reddit

It's a diverse group. There were plenty that came back missing a few screws. Some came back addicted to heroin. Many reassimilated back into society. I know one who annoyed me because he both wanted me to treat him like so much better than me because he went to war but also wallowed in self pity about it.

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Veedeh@reddit

My dad and my mentor are both Vietnam vets, so I have a firsthand perspective. I usually will walk up to someone with the hat and thank them for the sacrifices they made both in the service, and then again returning to a civilian life that targeted them when they returned home.

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pineapplemansrevenge@reddit

Vietnam Era Vets had no real help w PTSD, it wasn’t even recognized until years after the war. My ref to PTSD in my first post wasn’t meant to refer only to homeless vets.

There were/are plenty of VEVs who have suffered for 50 years w PTSD that avoided being on the streets. The war was unpopular, unjustified and 58,000+ US soldiers died and millions in Vietnamese/neighboring countries. It was not a “good” war. I knew kids who didn’t serve for various reasons, that struggled with guilt and shame for NOT serving, even while hating the war. The trauma was generational but our vets still pay the price. Some might put on a genial face.

I thought when we ended the war peace would reign. I was 23 years old and still an idealist.

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WinnerAwkward480@reddit

Can you define what a "good" war would be ? . As a Vietnam Veteran myself, I had hoped to live to see a time where war had been abolished. But no we had to double down with the Desert Wars , while the loss of life now is lower unfortunately it still exist . And it scares the hell out of me we now have a Louie ( Lieutenant) in charge of what's now called the department of war .

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combabulated@reddit

Why I put it in quotes. WWII I believe is often referred to as the last “good” war, in that the good v evil was pretty clear. Unless you were a Nazi. No war is good. My son’s father enlisted in the Marines in 1966 and did two tours in Vietnam. I was younger and went the hippie war protester route. And I knew every variation in between. Kids joining the National Guard, or pretending they were gay (or actually were gay) or full on draft dodgers, lots of student deferments, guys who went, never saw combat but came home junkies, my neighbor who jumped off an aircraft carrier into the South China Sea. The kids that were killed. My brother who got kicked out of college but got #303 in the lottery.

As you know that war consumed our generation.

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WinnerAwkward480@reddit

Many historians see WW2 as what lead the stepping stones to where the world is now . It tipped the scales into making the US a World Power . As other countries were having to rebuild after the war , the US was untouched allowing us to leap ahead . I believe it was a British Author who penned it as a Good War , a war of good vs evil . Two of the largest Allies at that time Russia & China , which ended up being our adversaries . The Good vs Evil became the mantra of the US , and has been used as justification for every conflict / war since . Vietnam we were told was to stop the spread of Communism. It's difficult to put into just a few paragraphs on Reddit , I guess I'm just War Weary . Hoping you & yours have a great holiday season.

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christine-bitg@reddit

Most of them would be 75+, but not all.

I was a college student from 1970 to 1975. A guy from the high school class ahead of me was killed in Viet Nam. There are plenty of Viet Nam vets in their early 1970s.

US involvement there didn't end until 1975.

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orpheus1980@reddit

Fair enough, but even early 70s is not a common age among the homeless. At least not in Manhattan and San Francisco, two places where I've been on the streets with them and gotten to know them.

There’s no tension regarding the veterans themselves. A lot of them were drafted, but even then it’s not exactly like people are angry at them for getting swept up in that mess. I know back in the 60s there was indeed tension, but now I’d say people pity them. This doesn’t extend to the ones involved in My Lai of course.

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Maleficent-Hawk-318@reddit

It's worth noting that there was less tension than is popularly believed, too. The media at the time really liked to play it up, as did pro-war politicians and other public figures. However, in reality many veterans were themselves anti-war activists (John Kerry is probably the best known these days thanks to his lifelong political career, but there were a lot, including several in my own family who talk about their experiences) and were welcomed into the movement. There was also widespread support for veterans in mainstream society.

That's not to say that there was no tension, but it's highly exaggerated in the popular imagination because of the same kinds of smear campaigns against activists that we see the media and politicians still using to this day.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

My husband (a Vietnam vet) says differently.

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audvisial@reddit

My Vietnam vet dad used to say the same. He and his fellow troops were spat on and yelled at as they were leaving and as they returned.

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jebuswashere@reddit

He and his fellow troops were spat on

There has never been a documented case of this happening.

If your dad can actually prove it happened, it would be a massive shift in 50 years of research and historiography by tens of thousands of professional historians and journalist.

I assume he can prove it, right?

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audvisial@reddit

He's dead. He died after his fourth bout of cancer, as a result of Agent Orange (at least according to his VA docs). I have audio tapes of him telling his story from 35 years ago. It never changed.

What a weird thing to argue about.

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jebuswashere@reddit

I'm sorry for your loss. What happened to tens of thousands of US/Australian/South Korean conscripts and millions of innocent Vietnamese, Laotian, and Cambodian civilians as a result of US foreign policy is an unconscionable crime.

What a weird thing to argue about.

It's not weird at all to challenge an often-repeated myth based on zero actual evidence, that is repeatedly used to discredit antiwar movements, in a discussion about the war that originated said myth.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

There are some people in these comments arguing that our memories are wrong and that it never happened. 🙄

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Subvet98@reddit

Tell your husband welcome home

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christine-bitg@reddit

I'm sorry that your husband wasn't treated appropriately when he returned to the US from being there.

I was against the war and still think it was mostly a bad idea. But I have never felt hostility for those who served honorably.

Bawstahn123@reddit

>This is a myth that I can't believe people still fall for in 2025.

My dude, the people on this subreddit are fucking stupid. If people on this subreddit told me the sky was blue, I'd stick my head out of the door just to be sure, because the amount of 100% incorrect nonsense I see on this subreddit is obscene.

For my own personal addendum: there are plenty of people here that say South Boston, a neighborhood in that city, is still a rough-and-tumble, working-class mainly-ethnic neighborhood.

If you know Boston at all, that hasn't been true for 20 fucking years. South Boston is one of the most expensive and gentrified neighborhoods in the entire fucking city

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No_Revolution_918@reddit

And to be clear, fuck you, no, he did not lie, you absolute fucking troll.....

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Ok_Brain3728@reddit

My brother in law is a Vietnam vet. I treat them with the respect they deserve. Personally I didn’t support the war (I’m 70) and my respect for them has evolved over the years as I have a better understanding of them and life in general when my older peers served.

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karmapolice63@reddit

It’s the last war that had a draft so most people who went over didn’t have a choice. The war was generally unpopular and the overall failure of the conflict added to the fact that they did not come home to a hero’s welcome compared to the generation that fought in WW2. Those people are in their 60’s and 70’s now, and we were more recently in a 20 year war in the middle east, so the regard for Vietnam vets is just that they were there.

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ActiveDinner3497@reddit

A lot of Vietnam Veterans were drafted. It wasn’t their choice to be over there (my dad, uncles, and cousins among these). It wasn’t their fault they were pulled into a rich man’s war.

anneofgraygardens@reddit

My parents were hippies and hated the war, but not the soldiers.

there is a traveling Vietnam miniature memorial wall, and when I was in college, it came to Berkeley, where I would usually meet my dad to be picked up for a weekend visit. (There was a daily bus ride between my school and UC Berkeley, theoretically to use their libraries, but most people just used it for getting to the Bay Area.) One Friday I got to Berkeley and was surprised to see both of my parents there. They were like, we're going to see the Vietnam Memorial.

The wall was set up in a park and there were a bunch of people milling around, looking at it. tbh I don't really remember anything about the wall itself - I mostly remember how sad and angry my dad got. My mom cried when she found the name of a boy she went to high school with.

My dad had lottery number 1 (September 14) and worked hard to obtain conscientious objector status.

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Last_Stand28@reddit

Thats great to hear. I shouldn't have generalized and said all hippies, I just meant a lot of them. I hope your parents are still doing well to this day, and if they have passed may God save their souls eternal.

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anneofgraygardens@reddit

they are not doing well, but thank you.

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WASP_Apologist@reddit

The men who saw action rarely discuss it.

The REMFs, on the other hand, will talk your ear off.

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Low-Landscape-4609@reddit

You want the truth? As an Iraq War veteran myself and somebody who definitely notices veterans in public, very little attention is paid to them.

Since America has an all volunteer military, little attention really gets paid the vets at the end of the day.

Let me tell you a quick story.

I was in line at a convenience store here recently. There was about 15 people in front of me. The cashier was asking them if they wanted to round up to donate to veterans. Every single person in line said no except for me. I'm literally doing any to myself because I'm a veteran but that just goes to show you that people will thank you for your service but they don't really give a s***.

I think the exception is when you have somebody who has military family members. They understand how tough it is to serve but the general public doesn't care.

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Strontium_9T@reddit

There were still a lot of ‘Nam vets in the military when I was in. They’d all seen some shiite. A few weren’t right in the head but they managed it.

What they had to endure when they returned was terrible. I have yet to meet a single person who admitted to abusing our returning Vietnam veterans back in the day though. Today they’re respected.

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Illustrious_Code_347@reddit

No, nobody cares about them. I doubt more than 1% of the population has strong opinions about them in either direction, good or bad. Being a Vietnam veteran these days is just associated with being old more than anything else.

There are people of course who just generically like and respect veterans, as well as a much smaller group of people that does not like the military or veterans… But that has nothing to do with Vietnam in particular, just more of a general outlook you come across. Most are completely apathetic.

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galtscrapper@reddit

My dad was in Vietnam. He died 12 years ago, they blamed Agent Orange exposure. They are dying off.

I miss my dad.

But I will say, the Vietnam vets are why people now thank military for their service.

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Silly_Somewhere1791@reddit

Vietnam vets were treated like shit. The early wave were post-WWIi idealists who enlisted out of patriotism. Then public sentiment about the war changed while they were already overseas, and when they came back they were literally spat on at the airport.

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Capricore58@reddit

Unpopular opinion: take of the Vietnam Vet hat, it doesn’t have to be your whole personality

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Fuzzzer777@reddit

I dated a decorated Vietnam Vet years ago. He came from a military family. He enlisted twice and ended up losing his leg in the war. He was bitter about some of the reactions he got when he got back home. He became an old hippie and let his hair grow out but still wore his olive drab. I don't think he ever really recovered mentally from it.

I feel sadness and respect for Vietnam vets. They were exposed to horrible things, experiences, chemicals, mental cruelties and were victims of prejudices on all sides and were treated pretty badly when they came home.

Some were over there because they were forced to be and some because they thought it was what they thought was right. I honestly haven't met a Vietnam Vet yet that wasn't affected negatively by that war. My opinion.

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Randomwhitelady2@reddit

My dad got drafted for that war. He never talks about it or wears any sort of clothing or anything else that identifies him as a veteran. I think he’d like to forget it ever happened.

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My dad enlisted because he was pretty sure his number was going to get called and he wanted to choose his branch. He never talked about it much either. Some with immediate family, he had nightmares for the rest of his life so we had some idea. But he never wore the hats or drew much attention to his service. He would use his veterans discount at Lowe’s, I don’t think he minded people knowing he was a veteran but he never really wanted to talk about Vietnam.

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Stardustmoonniff@reddit

My dad was drafted too. Lots of PTSD I did not understand as a kid. He’s doing better now, and the last year or two, doesn’t exactly talk about it in depth, but does talk about it on a surface level, mostly about how scared he was. He doesn’t linger on it though.

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JobenMcFly@reddit

My dad was in at the time. He ended up injuring his knee a few months before he would have been sent. I'm assuming it was legit, he has the surgery scar on his knee lol. He never really talks about his time in the army at all. Occasionally, he'll mention something about old buddies that went and never came back. But other than that, I really have zero idea about any of that time in his life and nobody would know he ever served.

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gothiclg@reddit

Same with my grandpa. Didn’t know the man flew recognizance flights until I had other vets identify his medals.

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lemonprincess23@reddit

TruckADuck42@reddit

We're well past any negativity towards them, and have been since the 80s.

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Ok_Wait_4268@reddit

My dad is a Vietnam Vet. I feel more sympathy and thanks for them than any other group of Vets. Many went off forced to fight in a War they didn’t believe, were treated horribly when they returned, and now many like my dad are suffering the consequences of Agent Orange exposure. Many Vets died before the government acknowledged the health implications or before they could prove that they were ill from exposure. He survived his time there, but his time there is also what is killing him. The effects aren’t limited to Veterans either, there is evidence it also affects their children. The government has acknowledged very few of these issues.

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VirtualDingus7069@reddit

I believe much of the ‘tension’ has eased, as these are geriatrics now we don’t see news of people spitting at them and yelling “baby killer”. With the intervening time a lot of information about what they went through, for better and worse, came out and explained some things to the public.

My perception is that that time in America was so full of promise on one end, but this huge sword of Damocles in the other if your birthday (or your kid’s) got pulled. So wildly grim that they knew how many weren’t coming home, and the ones who “made it” weren’t ever the same in ways that their world just couldn’t understand in the moment.

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CROBBY2@reddit

There is an interesting sub section of this that I found recently was there are also people who wear hats that look like the Vietnam Vet hats, the only difference is it says Vietnam Era on it. Ran across a gentleman with one and we were chatting and I asked him what it meant, his response was that he was stationed in Germany during the Vietnam War. I thanked him for his service, as all who serve deserve it, but I still felt a bit weird about the encounter.

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shelwood46@reddit

My mom was dating a guy who got drafted in 1973, and ended up in Germany -- but got all the Vietnam era benefits. It was weird.

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UnattributableSpoon@reddit

Backstory: I'm from a reeeally military family

My dad lost his college deferment and had a very low draft number. He didn't agree with us fucking around in Vietnam, but also didn't want to just make for Canada. So he chose his uniform before Uncle Sam could, he joined the Coast Guard (USCG). He served his country and I'm proud of him for finding a way to do so morally.

During Vietnam, my mom was just starting grad school and protesting a whole lot. She helped my pack for my first big protest in February 2003, it was adorable "now, do you have enough pay phone money to call us or a lawyer? Do you have your ID on you in case you get arrested? Here, don't forget your water, bandana, and first aid kit!" I got tear gassed at said protest, but was prepared (except I was wearing contacts 🥴).

They both thought the treating returning members of the military with contempt was awful. They taught me that supporting the troops can be done in many ways that don't support the actual war.

My parents got weird in the 1960s. thank fuck, they stayed that way. They're pretty cool people, too.

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equality-_-7-2521@reddit

My dad's a Vietnam vet, and he used to tell us very limited stories (usually as examples to points he was making) when we were too young to really understand or ask probing questions. (Stories like how a bullet whizzed by his ear, how he and his buddies would pay the laundry lady in US dollars even though they weren't supposed to, or how big and scary a water buffalo is).

But he doesn't talk about the period with pride. He was drafted into the Army. His veteran clothing consists of a single hat that he got as a gift and never wore, and any time I was considering joining the military he would urge me not to, or to join the Air Force if I absolutely had to join up.

He never caught any shit from protesters, but when he returned in '72 or '73 he was warned by his CO to change into civvies before he left the airport.

He understands that the war was unpopular, but feels like the vets were treated unfairly. They didn't want to be there either, but they still risked, and in some cases lost, their lives because their leaders told them they needed to.

As others have said, these days Vietnam vets are elderly and the nation has moved on. Outside of the VFW nobody really talks about it in daily life.

He does speak fondly of the time he was stationed in Germany. Apparently the Berlin Zoo was pretty impressive and he enjoyed feeding the polar bears candy and chewing gum.

I know my comment is meandering, but I eventually touched on OP's question.

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whysoirritated@reddit

No reaction except for one time when I had to go check and see if a guy was dead. They warned me that the old veterans still have good aim and some of them are feisty, so I shouted who I was at the top of my lungs all the way up the stairs. He was annoyed by the time I got up there, but nobody got shot.

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TheKingofSwing89@reddit

My uncle did 3 tours. He was in the Navy, which doesn’t sound too bad, and usually isn’t in most wars and roles, except he was one of the sailors who regularly patrolled the rivers on patrol boats, small boats with heavy machine guns. They frequently came under fire from the jungle and he saw a lot of shit.

Born a farm kid, He was kicked out of his parents at 18 after high school and I think he joined cause he didn’t know what else to do. To think if he would have had more guidance, he could have turned out better, instead of being a violent drunk wifebeater.

Genuinely think he was a good person who got messed up and didn’t and still doesn’t know how to handle it. Sad

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TheKingofSwing89@reddit

Most people respect them and realize they were dragged into a war with little say of their own.

It was a long time ago and is now overshadowed by more recent events. Older vets are generally respected, or should be, same goes with young ones too.

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theycallmethevault@reddit

I thank them for their service & shake their hands. Because they never got the appreciation they deserved.

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dcgrey@reddit

I certainly respect them. I still struggle with the word appreciate though, because I don't know their own attitude to their service. If they were drafted, didn't want to go, but went anyway, am I appriciating them for their willingness to abide by the law? Should I therefore not appreciate someone who was morally conflicted and enrolled in law school just for the purpose of becoming inelligble for the draft?

If they enlisted rather than drafted, do I say I appreciate them choosing a cause bigger than self even though, with the benefit of hindsight, I think the cause was immoral?

So generally I don't say a thing about war to veterans until I have a sense of how the vet sitting in front of me feels about it.

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northman46@reddit

How do you feel about slavery because that’s basically what the draft was. Do you tell black peple that slavery was a choice?

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SoupOfTomato@reddit

I'm not rude to them of course, but what exactly am I supposed to appreciate them having done?

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ITrCool@reddit

100% this. THEY are not turn as guys here, despite the idiots in the 60s who spat on them and cursed them when they came home. Said idiots were uneducated and misinformed and emotional.

Those soldiers had no choice, were drafted, and did what they were ordered to do. They went through unimaginable horrors and insane fighting conditions.

They have my respect just like all other US veterans (who conduct themselves worthy of said respect).

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boldjoy0050@reddit

Those soldiers had no choice

You always have a choice. There aren't enough jail cells for everyone.

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Super_Direction498@reddit

THEY are not the bad guys here, despite the idiots in the 60s who spat on them and cursed them when they came home

They were lied to by recruiters,

Especially that.

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Colt1911-45@reddit

My dad joined the National Guard. Retired as a 1st Sgt with great benefits.

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Cheap_Coffee@reddit

That's a commentary on when textbooks used to be cheap .

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You left off the year.

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Cheap_Coffee@reddit

1981

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combabulated@reddit

College texts have always been too expensive despite your experience. It’s a long running racket.

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Cheap_Coffee@reddit

Well. There we have it.

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Wait till you learn that there's GWOT veterans who joined at 18 are now in their 40s.

! I'm not one of them, I turn 40 next year!<

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JerkOffTaco@reddit

I graduated in 2005, I know several. It is a wild timeline being born in the late 80’s.

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northman46@reddit

They were treated like shit, called baby killers etc by the people who opposed the war. Decades later people felt guilty and pretended that say “thanks for your service “. Made up for how they were treated

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Low-Palpitation-9916@reddit

I think, "Here's an old man who's not gonna shut the fuck up if I mention his hat, so let me just ignore it."

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Nearby_Initial2409@reddit

I'd say the feelings have largely reversed. Most Vietnam Veterans are open about the fact that they served even if not about the details. People are greatful for their service accepting they largely didn't want to be there and it was the politicians who F'd everything up and killed a lot of good brave young men for no good reason. On the flipside if someone were to come out and talk openly about harrassing, spitting on, or assaulting Vietnam Veterans upon returning home they'd receive well deserved blowback and likely a lot of loss of respect from most people.

It may have been exaggerated, but it certainly happened to some.

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SaintsFanPA@reddit

Strange then, that all the contemporaneous evidence suggests it was beyond rare, if it happened at all.

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OafintheWH@reddit

I’ve read at least 50 first hand accounts by men who were in Vietnam. A handful talk about being harassed either on the planes, or at the airports on the way home. Several mention that they were not harassed. I have no actual proof of either, but that doesn’t give me good reason to not believe any of them.

You can rewrite history all you want, but we have firsthand experience.

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backlikeclap@reddit

Like I said, I work closely with a Vietnam vet and pretty much all he talks about is Vietnam. He's never even once mentioned any kind of public stigma or being "shat on." And further more there's no record of vets like your husband receiving the treatment he describes.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

Your experience is not the same as our experience. That does not mean our experience is wrong or incorrect.

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SaintsFanPA@reddit

we have firsthand experience

Distorted by the passage of time and subsequent media. Again, there is basically no contemporaneous evidence of these accusations.

they were told by their commanders not to wear any military gear in public because of the stigma

You spend a lot of time talking about what the military or government did or did not do. That the military leadership was party to spreading the myth to discredit the anti-war movement isn't controversial. Again, there is basically no contemporaneous evidence of anti-war protestors mistreating returning soldiers.

You can rewrite history all you want

I'm not rewriting anything. I defy you to find a serious historian supporting your version of events.

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backlikeclap@reddit

I'm gonna just come out and say it - a LOT of veterans lie about their experiences in war and after war.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

My memories are intact, son.

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SaintsFanPA@reddit

That isn't how memory works, but whatever you say.

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Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit

The dude you are responding to must have gotten his history from South Park lol

Condolances.

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christine-bitg@reddit

Thanks. It's not something that you ever get over.

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Separate_Farm7131@reddit

The vets are now senior citizens and I think most people treat them and their service respectfully. That wasn't the case when the war ended and over the next several years. They were unfairly blamed for things the vast majority had no control over. They were drafted and had to go.

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dontlookback76@reddit

I knew a guy who died the draft and went to Canada. He came back when they forgave the dodgers legally. My foreman (we were operating engineers union and he was carpenters. Not that that matters) hated him. He said he respects the guys who took their lumps and went to jail. Jail, the military, he's figured you paid somehow.

But he couldn't stand the guys who bolted to Canada. I don't know if that's a wide spread sentiment or just his as I've never heard that out of anyone else's mouth. And yes my foreman did serve in the navy during Vietnam. He was open about his view. I have never asked another vet because I don't want to dredge up 50 year old vices or shit.

I always respected the guys who served. They got dealt a shit sandwich and had to eat it. I don't know a 1/10 of the politics or history that led to that war. I just know 10s if thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands in the regions have lost, and some continue to lose through unexploded ordinance, lives and there are a lot of people running around with a scarred psych over it.

That I know of I've known about 25 Vietnam vets. Older guys who were journeyman when I was a young (started at 19) apprentice. Of those only around 4 saw. One was on gun boats. So I guess 5 saw combat. The rest were at various bases around the world.

I knew a guy who joined the Marines in the late 60s wanting to go to Vietnam and fight. He admitted he was wrong to have that view in his 60s. He believed in the mission. He spent 6 months on a ship and the rest of his time in a supply warehouse in Okinawa. Never stepped a boot in Vietnam.

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5econds2dis35ster@reddit

Young men who got drafted for an old man's war. And got treated poorly when returning home.

I feel sorry for them as unlike their parents, they got treated terribly when returning back state side. Every Vietnam veteran I have talked to has said they prefer "welcome home" over "thank you for your service".

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Jack_Wagen@reddit

I have spoken with two Vietnam vets. One was an uncle of a classmate and I didn't know what he was until I saw old photos...this was in the 1990s. I knew him as a fragile old stoner, but in these old pictures he was Jim Morrison x The Rock. Just an absolute unit, wearing sunglasses while standing as the best man in a wedding pic. He was allowed a brief leave for the wedding. I asked him about it once, and he said "they" didn't tell him were his unit was sent, but he assumed it was Cambodia, and he would not say more.

The second guy I met last summer. He said he was in nam, and only recently was able to talk about it. He said he was the only member of his unit to have survived. Legit, he was one of Those Guys that we americans have heard legend about. A kind man, who was utterly broken by what he was forced into when he was 20 years old.

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kryotheory@reddit

I'm a vet myself, but of Afghanistan, not Vietnam. Broadly speaking, they tend to be a little too "thank me for my service"-y than I'd like, as well as some having a tendency to hold some... problematic opinions about women and minorities. Obviously no group is completely homogeneous in their behavior, but as a general rule it's kind of a safe bet to assume, unfortunately.

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Word2DWise@reddit

These days, they are shown appreciation like most vets, but back then they had to deal with BS that veterans today have no idea about.

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MEDICARE_FOR_ALL@reddit

I support our troops as always.

theshortlady@reddit

They did what they thought was right, or what they thought they had to do. I hope they can recover from what they had to do. I bear them no I'll will and I don't know anyone who does.

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No_Neighborhood1023@reddit

My view is positive seeing as my grandfather is a Vietnam vet, funnily enough he dodged the army draft by joining the Air Force

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christine-bitg@reddit

My father was a World War II vet who did something similar.

When he got a draft notice to go into the US Army, he knew that was a bad deal.

So he shopped around, and the only service that would let him volunteer after getting a draft notice was the Navy. He probably got lucky and found a recruiter who was short on his quota.

He spent some time on an aircraft carrier in both the Atlantic and the Pacific. Then the Navy pulled him off ship duty (during the war!) to send him to college.

No_Neighborhood1023@reddit

That's very interesting, I wonder just how many people dodged the army draft by joining other branches, what did they send him to college for if you don't mind me asking?

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No_Neighborhood1023@reddit

Wait I just put two and two together, apologies it's 8AM and I've yet to have the time to sleep

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christine-bitg@reddit

It's all good.

Time may not have healed the wounds, but it certainly has tempered them.

My dad served in Vietnam in 1968-69. He was a draftee who couldn’t wait to get out. When he was sent home (to be out processed at Fort Lewis), he flew MATS to Hawaii, and had an option. He could wait around for a flight back to McChord AFB, or go private and spend his own money to get home. He could afford to do it, so he spent his own money to fly back. He was spat at and cursed while in Honolulu, and he went and purchased a new suit for his flight home.

He didn’t talk about his experiences much there. 25-ish years later, I was working for him, and we went out to a business dinner with some of our sales reps at a trade show. All of them were Vietnam vets - and the stories came out. Both the in country stories (mostly funny with a dark twist) and about when they came back. Basically, all of them were verbally abused when they came back for doing something they had little say in.

When we were done with dinner, we found out our meals (and drinks) had been paid by someone else. The note said “I was one of those young men who screamed and spat at people like you. I was wrong, and I hope this apology helps you a little bit.”

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nokillswitch4awesome@reddit

My dad was a pilot during Vietnam. He NEVER spoke of his time there whenever I would push it as a kid trying to get some insight to go along with what I was learning in school.

Then he came down with Alzheimer's, and the floodgates opened. Horror stories not only of being shot at by the VC, but also how he and many other officers were targets of broken enlisted American soldiers who lost it after seeing god knows what in the jungles.

War is Hell, there is no getting around that. And I am sure what he experienced happened in every way we've had.

So to the original question, my reaction is respect for them, and utter sorrow that they had to experience it.

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mychampagnesphincter@reddit

I’m reading so many of these comments where people are like “I don’t think anyone thought negatively of them (Vietnam vets). Are you fucking kidding me??? Just because everyone is respectful now to those veterans doesn’t mean they didn’t come home to hatred for something they didn’t ask to do.

My dad was a pilot in Vietnam. It was NEVER discussed, while WWII vets were openly lauded (I had no experience with the Korean War outside of MASH). These KIDS had to watch TV and find out if their birthdate meant spared or sent. Rich kids did what they could to keep them out of it all.* My dad did a double major to delay graduation, but seeing the writing on the wall elected to join ROTC—he said if he was going to have to go, he was going as an officer.

Vietnam vets came home to be refused for hire, dismissed, discriminated against, never mind outright vilified and literally spit upon.

As a result many Vietnam vets did not associate with other vets, losing out on support and camaraderie. Agent Orange fucked up a lot of soldiers, and I was told by medical staff (I do not have a source) that a number of auto-immune disorders in children of those exposed are being researched as to a connection.

My dad did not get involved in any veterans, associations until over 40 years had passed. He became sober after 20, thankfully, and his service was a huge factor in his drinking. He saw a woman walk into a propeller ffs.

His letters home to my mom remain our treasure (doing his best to relieve her fears, and apparently they were both very horny thanks for that guys).

Sorry, I know this is posted late and no one will see it, but can you imagine if we went to war and you found out in Xitter that you were being shipped off to basic and then to gods know where, and then if you are lucky enough to return home, everybody else hates you.

I miss my dad. I am proud of him. I wonder who he would have been without the war, but I’m glad he was my dad.

no this does not excuse that orange skinbag of roiling bile

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fajadada@reddit

People don’t remember there was a Vietnam war. Korean War is known only because MASH is a popular tv show

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MarionberryPlus8474@reddit

I was at anti-war demonstrations as a literal baby—pregnant women and moms with little kids were often given prominent places both to provide a powerful visual and to hopefully keep the cops from attacking—the latter not often successful.

The “Vietnam vets being spat on” trope always struck me as more myth than fact. Most veterans didn’t want to go; everyone knew this, and in fact many vets came back and opposed the war.

Compare this to treatment of anti-war protesters, who were routinely beaten and arrested without cause, with no consequence to those perpetrating it, and activists whose phones were tapped, marked for IRS and FBI harassment, and so on. All for exercising their rights under the first amendment.

My own mother was on Nixon’s enemies list, as near as we could figure it because she was good friends with a reporter at a medium-sized city paper who wrote a very middle-of-the road article critical of the invasion of Cambodia.

I’ll accept that some veteran, somewhere, was probably spat on, and raise you the thousands of anti war protesters that would gladly have preferred merely being spat on to being gassed, beaten, and stomped by the cops, having their phones tapped, and being blacklisted in employment for dodging the draft.

I will also point out the stark contrast between the treatment of Al Gore, who opposed the war but went to Vietnam because he couldn’t bear the thought of someone else having to go in his place, and Kerry, who was mocked for his service, on the one hand, and W Bush and Dan Quayle, who secured safe spots in the National Guard thanks to their daddy’s connections. The former two were treated like anti-American nuts, the latter two like war heroes, when in fact they were Chicken Hawks.

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notmywheelhouse@reddit

Respect. Trauma. Shame. Patriotism.

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andrewrbat@reddit

I feel sorry for them. Some proudly volunteered and that was a brave thing to do, but not all of them knew the details behind the reason for the war or what they’d be doing, exactly.

My uncle was in Vietnam and he only ever (very reluctantly) talked about it once but he painted a really ugly picture of the whole experience.

(I am not a person of color.)

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Responsible_Trash_40@reddit

In my experience it’s about 50/50 that they don’t want the attention or that they are proud of it and advertise the fact.

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capsrock02@reddit

Not supporting the war is different than not supporting the people who fought in it. Most of them had no choice because of the draft.

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If they are homeless it won't matter they are a vet or not, they will be met with derision, if not many will give the trite "thank you for your service."

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SCCock@reddit

I was 15 when Saigon fell. I came from a military family and retired from the Army 11 years ago.

I do believe that Desert Storm was a big catharsis for the country where the nation started to appreciate the military. Vietnam Vets, IMHO, have a special place in a lot of people's hearts. The sad thing is they were never welcomed home appropriately.

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yellowdaisycoffee@reddit

I have no special reaction, and I do not know anybody who does, beyond perhaps thanking them for their service.

Personally, I think it sucks that the U.S. was involved in that war. However, 1/3 of veterans were drafted, and therefore, had no choice in their enlistment. Meanwhile, volunteers had their own personal reasons for enlisting, and whatever those reasons may have been, I am not worried about them now.

It was a long time ago. These men were young, and I imagine some of them do not necessarily stand by their opinions of the war prior to enlistment. If they do, that's their right.

At the end of the day, they all experienced something that I cannot imagine, and I am not going to make assumptions about their character based on the fact that they served in Vietnam.

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rharper38@reddit

I think we realized a while ago, they got a raw deal. I always make the effort to thank them for what they went through. My FIL is a Vietnam vet and I think he's pretty cool.

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dotdedo@reddit

I chat with them. I feel a bit sorry for them actually, especially the ones drafted. Mostly because of how my mom told me back then her family were literally praying my uncle turned 18 slower, but he got extremely lucky and turned 18 just after the war barely ended.

My dad was an early Vietnam era veteran. He’d be 84 if he were still alive.

My father-in-law was, too. He’d be slightly younger, I guess.

Nobody cares except to robotically say, “thank you for your service” if it comes up.

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Sanjomo@reddit

My father is a Vietnam Vet and he often recalled how badly they were treated when they came home after their tour. But that’s was mostly by their own peer group (oddly or perhaps not so oddly) the older generation at the time welcomed them home (probably having lived through previous wars themselves). Now I feel most people who were against them see the error in the mistreatment and lots of folks seem to try and make up for it. My father often wears a Vietnam Vet hat, and I’m always surprised how many people thank him for his service. He also has a Vietnam vet fundraiser bumper sticker in his truck and cops have pulled up to him to thank him and some kind folks have even left thank you notes and little ‘ gifts’ (American flags, vet pins, vet stickers etc) on the truck when it’s parked in shopping centers.

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mtcwby@reddit

It's faded quite a bit that there's any reaction except sympathy that many were treated badly. They're dying off too. My best friend served over there in 1965 and passed about three years ago

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SiloueOfUlrin@reddit

When I see a vietnam vet begging on the street, I think "wow, the military clearly doesn't care about their own soldiers"

The less I know the better, I've seen vietnam vets talk a lot of fortune and glory or talk about shooting civilians because they were angry and wanted to take it out on someone.

So I guess if I meet one, I feel bad, but I kinda don't wanna know what they felt about the war.

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rawbface@reddit

is there still tension today?

I'm in my 40's. My dad is turning 70 soon. He was too young to serve in the Vietnam war.

In the past, they were treated horribly. Called cowards, spit on, and regularly threatened. It was an awful display of solidarity for our veterans.

Now, they’re just veterans, and most are quite old at this point. We treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve. Besides, they’re smart enough to know what the war was and why it was a lie. Doesn’t take away from what they saw or experienced.

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DoTheRightThing1953@reddit

Lots of people opposed the war in Vietnam but only a small fraction of them were against the soldiers themselves. Those people got an inordinate amount of publicity.

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dildozer10@reddit

I had a cousin who fought deep in the shit in Vietnam, he had major ptsd and would very rarely talk about the war. He had an episode of flashbacks one day and was running around downtown Atlanta thinking he was in the jungle, afterwards he got some help. He was a great man who would do anything to help anyone, but sadly passed away from a brain tumor a few years ago. I miss him a lot.

I also had a great uncle who fought in Vietnam, he was much more open about fighting in the war and would tell me some gruesome stories. He never claimed to have had ptsd but it was clear that he did, and he was always very ashamed of what he was forced to do. He ended up killing himself earlier this year. I also miss him a lot.

I don’t agree with why our government fought in Vietnam, but I don’t hold that against the veterans who went through that hell. They were only doing what they were forced to do. I treat them with the same respect I treat veterans from other wars.

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machagogo@reddit

I called him Dad. Miss him every day.

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The sad part about the Iranian hostages is that Reagan delayed their release, for political purposes.

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LifeApprehensive2818@reddit

They've lived through things I can't possibly imagine. The ones I've met are the kind of people around whom you stay quiet and listen politely, because nothing you have to say will compare to what you'll learn if you let them speak.

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christine-bitg@reddit

Completely agree with you.

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pyrrhicchaos@reddit

Most people are chill. I tend to be suspicious of them because they are mostly older white men and wearing a hat says they think the war was okay.

I tend to avoid interacting with them because of the possibility of conflict.

I don’t see their background as an excuse for bigotry because my dad was not like that, despite his upbringing and experiences.

My dad never wore veteran merch. He told me about the war crimes he witnessed. He told me the Vietnamese people did not want us there. He told me the people who really saw stuff avoided taking about it.

That doesn’t mean I don’t think they were done dirty. They were and they deserve support from the government that exploited them.

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christine-bitg@reddit

He told me the Vietnamese people did not want us there.

Many did not, but some of them did.

The hardest working person i have ever met was a guy I used to work with in a refinery. He was a former South Vietnamese fighter pilot.

One of his kids was born in a refugee camp in southern Cslifornia.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

Just because they wear the hat does NOT mean they think the war was okay.

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TheBimpo@reddit

When you see a veteran with a hat on the street, what is the general reaction?

No reaction at all.

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Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit

I don't think badly about them at all.

Most were forced to fight in a war we shouldn't have been in, in absolutely brutal conditions.

If anything I empathize with them, because they caught so much shit from society that was completely undeserved and from people with no idea about how things actually were.

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Asleep-Banana-4950@reddit

I would have been drafted if my lottery number was a bit lower and I marched in protest marches. However, I hold no animosity to those who served, whether they volunteered or were drafted - I believed that the government was simply wrong and routinely lied to us. I was friends with the younger sister of a guy from my high school who was killed. I worked with several guys who served (two drafted and two volunteers) and their stories were generally disturbing.

SabresBills69@reddit

early on people disapproved of veterans because the disapproved of thecwar. overvtime feelings changed. now veterans are on pedestals

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quiltingsarah@reddit

Today, it's more sorrow for how they were treated at the time. They were young poor men drafted. Or stupid kids if their parents signed permission. The wealthier were able to go to college or get a medical excuse.

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thaddeus122@reddit

Mostly a feeling of respect. They didn't want to be there and it ruined many of their lives. I do hate driving behind them though.

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dangleicious13@reddit

I always wonder why they would proudly wear something denoting them as a Vietnam War veteran.

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HorseFeathersFur@reddit

You are assuming pride where there is none. Wearing the hat is more about service and survival, not pride in the war. Younger people often associate memorabilia or merchandise as endorsement. So they interpret the hat as supporting the war rather than marking a personal history. And Vietnam vets did not receive the cultural reframing that earlier veterans did. World War II veterans were honored publicly and often. And trauma expressions differ across the generations.

I generally thank them for their service they recognize that as a group they were mistreated.

EagleCatchingFish@reddit

I think we need to unpack the notion that Vietnam vets were hated.

The simplest thing to say is that when we talk about hate toward Vietnam vets, we're generally speaking about a split within the baby boomer cohort. The majority of Americans never hated Vietnam vets, especially the older generation. The ones who did were primarily in the same age cohort as the average draftee: baby boomers. As we got further from the war (80s and 90s), and the people who had treated the veterans poorly got into middle age with kids of their own, people tended to tacitly admit things had gotten out of hand. We even recontextualized it. I'm sure a lot of us millennials out there remember a boomer teacher or coach or whatever kind of shrugging and going "it was the '60s, man." That's how that generation moved past that time in their lives.

gadget850@reddit

Always welcome at my VFW.

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TaekDePlej@reddit

I used to do primary care at the VA for a lot of Vietnam veterans. These were young men who typically grew up with little to nothing, then either volunteered (mostly out of lack of other opportunities) or were drafted and got thrown into hell. Many of them have paid a heavy price for it physically and mentally for the rest of their lives. They were willing to put their lives on the line to protect each other and their families, and it is not their fault that America misled them, overstepped its global role and committed horrible atrocities during that war. They deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and empathy, but often have not been in the 50 years since they returned.

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SilverB33@reddit

I don't hold it against them for having to go into this war cause some politicians were afraid of something iirc

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ExistentialTabarnak@reddit

My first thought is that when I’m out of the military I won’t feel the need to advertise my time in. Maybe they do. Whatever makes them happy.