Do you think what your parents did for a living when you were growing up has influenced your life and the way you are as an adult even if you didn't follow in their footsteps with your job?

Posted by SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 30 comments

It has for me. My mum was a cleaner. She cleaned in a hospital for a long time and also took an extra part time job cleaning a dentist. My dad was a car valeter for a long time then a lorry driver and he had some other jobs too. We had a nice childhood I would say. We never went without, we had a nice clean and warm home, nice clothes and always had presents for birthday's and Christmas. We never went abroad but we enjoyed a few holidays at Butlins and long weekends at my auntie's house which was in a nice part of the country. I've found as an adult I'm a very clean and organised person and so are my siblings. I will never leave a mess or not tidy up after myself. If I go to a restaurant, I clean the table but I do ask if the people working there want the plates stacked or not because some don't like that. If they don't, I will organise the table and clean up all mess and things dropped on the floor. I strip the bed after I stay in a hotel and put all the used towels together and wipe everything down just to make the cleaning staff's lives easier. I also really like cars and passed my driving test as soon as I could because my dad being a car valeter for most of my childhood, I got to see so many different cars and my dad was really interested in cars. I know almost all makes and models of cars just by looking. I remember my mum taking me to the dentist cleaning job a few times and I got some insight. As a result, I enjoy the dentist believe it or not and have never feared anything about dentists. I also saw little bits and pieces of what goes in a hospital so I don't fear them either.

30 Comments

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mand71@reddit

The people you eat at restaurants with drop stuff on the floor?? That's weird AF.

SpaceTimeCapsule89@reddit (OP)

Yeah kids do drop food on the floor sometimes. I have a kid

Ah, well, kids. That's normal. I thought you were talking about adults...

melanie110@reddit

Million percent. My mother could never hold down a job longer than a few days, was always out for a get right quick scheme and we were always hiding from the Provvy & rent man. She shatter anyone and everyone she ever met. I’m very successful in my industry and I’m the only one out of my family to own a house, and be able to drive. My sisters followed her suit so I’ve been NC with them for about 14 years now after I reported them To the police for opening credit cards and getting loans in my name Fuck them all.

here-but-not-present@reddit

You sound very similar to me, but mine was able to hold down her job but spent her earnings on painkillers and gambling. Swear I saw the Provvy Man more than my dad. She'd open accounts in my name, was physically and psychologically abusive, would also abuse pets, and my brother fell into that life too from an incredibly young age. I spent a lot of time hiding from the police when she'd abandon us for days at a time and drug raids were a thing, too. She used to steal from her workplace as well, and then rob Peter to pay Paul when the walls were closing in. I used it as an incentive to never end up like the rest of my family. I'm the only one that's never even so much as had a cross word with a police officer or taken a drug in my life. I have a small, but close friends network that stood with me all through the BS when I was younger, have a mortgage, pets that I adore, and no longer spend every moment looking over my shoulder or tensing up at every noise. Cut the whole lot of them off in 2011 and don't regret a single thing. My gran (her mum) died a few months ago and not a single tear was shed.

El_Bastardo_Grande@reddit

Yep, my parents owned a take away. I can prioritise tasks really well, and I love cooking.

BaBaFiCo@reddit

Not at all. My career has no kink to theirs.

Hulla_Sarsaparilla@reddit

Yes, in their interests and work ethic, although the job I do is completely removed from anything they, or anyone in my family do. I had a similar childhood to you OP, mum and dad worked hard, we had a nice house, bills were paid and we never went without what we needed, but we didn’t have holidays abroad and lived in hand me down clothes. Dad was a HGV mechanic and worked nights doing motorway call outs because the money was better, mum did part time retail/customer service roles. My mum was a huge reader, she had piles of books, she loved music & theatre and took me to the ballet when I was little, she was creative & a brilliant artist. My dad also loves music, and culture, history, museums, I’ve inherited all of these interests from them. I went to uni, luckily when you got a grant & no tuition fees, they always supported me & encouraged me to do my degree, neither of them had the opportunity or the support to do that (it always grated my mum that her brothers were encouraged to go into further education and neither she or her sisters were). And now I work in the media/creative industries- and although it’s far removed from my parents jobs, it follows the influence of their personal interests.

unbelievablydull82@reddit

Kind of. My dad came here at 14 and decided to set up a life here as a labourer, my mum came over at 19 and worked for the NHS. My mum became a not very good stay at home mum, whilst my dad would regularly work 7 days a week, no matter what the weather. I'm too soft to work nearly as hard as he did, but his attitude towards providing for my family did influence me. Even when he was without work, he was up at six, cleaning the house, shopping, cooking etc., there was no sitting around all day doing nothing.

iffyClyro@reddit

In a roundabout way, yes. My mum didn’t work and I was mostly in care growing up. A lot of her problems stemmed from child abuse and domestic abuse. Now I have a job where I lock up child abusers and domestic abusers.

cgknight1@reddit

Not in the slightest - both left school at 15 and worked a series of manual labour and then care and sales roles - none of which relate to my life. The hotel stuff you mention is just good manners.

Guilty-Jellyfish-855@reddit

Do people actually strip the bed in a hotel? I remember this became a thing for a while on Airbnb during the pandemic but I've never heard people doing that before, especially at a hotel.

Nice_Back_9977@reddit

Nope, has literally never even occurred to me.

I pile up bedding and towels on way out to make life easier for cleaners.

imtheorangeycenter@reddit

Fiver says you take your glasses back to the bar, too. Good souls.

hah - I do!

RiverTadpolez@reddit

Yeah, I've always done this. When I was 19, I cleaned in a hotel for a summer and remember all the old lady cleaners who had cleaned at the hotel for 40 years had terrible sciatica, hip pain etc. It's back breaking work if you do it over a long period.

dbxp@reddit

Yes, in the terms that the job doesn't stop at your contracted hours and you need to improve yourself in our own time. My mum was a teacher who worked late into the night and my dad often wrote reports on the weekend.

-myeyeshaveseenyou-@reddit

Dad was a plasterer I became a pastry chef. They sound very different until you think about icing a cake, it’s a lot like skimming a wall

Ready-Hold-4000@reddit

they didnt work and still dont but i work pretty hard at my job so no not really

atuclose@reddit

They didn't through their workplace, but they undoubtably did have an influence on me in general - they consistently bought me new technology and encouraged me to spend time on it. Was the first one in my group to have a computer, phone, etc. I now have a decent career in tech, only one in my family. Can't see myself ever doing anything else.

Not even. Had a go on a computer aged 6 (BBC Micro, you know it!) and that was that. Career set in stone. Previous generations flipped from their parents, eg: in the board at the mega posh hotels in London, breweries and tobacco companies, and their kids were (still are) hippies and witches. I fell somewhere between the two - will only work for charities/do-good orgs, but like my nice things too.

vipros42@reddit

It made me 100% confident I didn't want to go into law. Or be a miserable stressed out fucker who doesn't like anyone and mostly sees the negative side of things.

Ok_Drummer_51@reddit

Only in the way that it influenced my aspirations. They worked in retail and a factory, like most of the adults I knew. I figured that would be okay for me too. They discouraged me from going to university when I got a well paid office job in my gap year because I was already doing better than them.

Groovy66@reddit

While my parent were divorcing my mum used to refer to my dad as a “jumped up pox doctor’s clerk”. I’m pleased I didn’t follow in the family business.

Rinlow05@reddit

My dad ran his own small shop, and after seeing the long hours & endless paperwork involved, I vowed I would never run my own business. I would be happy at a corporate desk job. My mum was a nursery nurse, and hearing the stories she told of both the children & the parents, convinced me that I will never want to work in a child related industry, and that I will never, ever, have kids of my own. My sister says the same. I have been employed at the same company now for 15+ years, and am happy with my desk job, that doesn't involve children, and the paperwork has all but been eliminated due to computers. I will never be rich, but my life is stable, and I can afford the hobbies, treats and small luxuries that I prefer without too much worry. And no kids either 😂

Montymum@reddit

It sounds like you had a lovely childhood ❤️

FloydEGag@reddit

My mum was a nurse and always told me never to go into medicine or healthcare in any way so I guess it has, in some way, because I don’t work in medicine/healthcare haha

anonoaw@reddit

Kind of. My dad trained as an accountant and by the time I have any memory of what he did for work he was a head of finance type. It gave us a very high quality of lie growing up and I’ve always wanted similar. I in no way earn anywhere near what my dad did, but I earn well and have a professional job, and financial security is very important to me. I also absorbed some of his interest in money and finances - I started paying into my pension straight away and I’m getting more interested in inserting as I get older. Sadly he died a few years ago before I really started paying attention to finances so he’s no longer around for me to learn from. My mum was a stay at home mum. She’s influenced me in that she was very clear about how hard being a stay at home mum was when we were young, and I knew I didn’t want that for myself. I have 2 kids but I work full time and I’m the main earner. She’s also influenced my parenting a lot - mostly in fostering independence in my kids. There’s a few things she did that I am actively not doing with my kids, but mostly she was the kind of mum I’d like to be in a lot of ways.

-aLonelyImpulse@reddit

I don't think so. My mother worked as a nursery nurse looking after very small children; I do not wish to have any contact with small children. My father worked as a pilot; I have a fear of flying. I became a war journalist. I genuinely cannot see any crossover at all aside from the fact that my job unfortunately requires me to fly...

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