How common are shared bank accounts with your spouse and what comes out of that account?

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AvidCandleSnuffer@reddit

We have a joint account which we opened when we bought a place together, everything to do with the house comes from there as well as groceries, eating out together, takeaways etc. But our salaries go into our own accounts and have standing orders set up. Sometimes we need to top it up e.g. had to stay at a hotel and split that. I think we have revised it up twice in almost 5 years but not by much as we have a good grasp of expenses. I have other responsibilities and bills, as well as insane medical costs so it works well for us - we have our own assets and use that account for joint stuff. We don't have children which I think is the biggest difference.

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Drwynyllo@reddit

*> Do you share a bank account with your partner* Yes. *> and what comes out of the shared account?* All shared expenditure.

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iffyClyro@reddit

Everything goes in to the joint account. All the bills come off and then we spend the rest of holidays. Well, kind of. We both pay our salaries in to the joint account, all the household bills come out of it and then we mostly save the rest once we’ve deducted other essentials like food. It’s been this way for years, in famine or in feast we’ve always pooled our resources.

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33backagain@reddit

We do similar, but each take a few hundred each month into a personal account, so that we don’t have to discuss spending on hobbies/gifts/socialising etc. Then when kids came along, and after my wife had a few years off to look after them, earnings became very uneven. But we didn’t feel the need to change - it’s a team game in the end!

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Moreghostthanperson@reddit

This is basically our set up. Nice to see other couples do similar to us, not that there’s anything wrong with people doing it differently of course.

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iffyClyro@reddit

What I don’t understand about the keeping things separate people is, what if you want to do something as a couple but your partner has no money? If one of you win the lottery do you share it?

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Moreghostthanperson@reddit

I know what you mean, if one partner earns significantly more than the other, and they want to do something expensive as a couple, but the other person can’t afford it or it would result in them spending all their ‘fun money’ whilst the other would still have some spare. Would the one earning more pay more of the costs or lend the other person money which they then have to pay them back for or is it just tough on the lower earner? What about if they have children and one parent takes time out of work for mat/pat leave or to be a stay at home parent? They may not be contributing as much financially but will still be contributing by way of saving on childcare costs and doing the majority of the childcare and probably household chores too. Then there’s the concept of people in a long term relationship owing each other money, which I know people who do this. They paid for x so then the other person then has to send them their share of the cost or pay for it next time. If you already share your entire lives why bother with that? Not necessarily judging how people manage their finances but I guess I don’t really get it. My other half and I have been together for over 15 years and we just can’t be arsed with the added mental load of all that. Early on in a relationship I understand keeping finances more separate but for us it got to a point where it was easier to just combine our finances and not worry about who specifically is paying for what, as long as bills are paid and as a household we have everything covered it doesn’t matter, technically I pay the water bill every month as I get paid earlier and it just so happens to line up with when the direct debit comes out, but I also earn less so overall my OH technically covers more of the bills overall, but we don’t think of things in that way on a day to day basis. Plus the fact that there are more ways of contributing in a relationship than just financially, things like household chores, meal prep, life admin etc are all important aspects of keeping things running smoothly.

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timiny74@reddit

We’re the same way as you. But I can totally understand why ppl keep separate accounts

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Physical-Bear2156@reddit

We have a shared account and all the household costs go through it. We both contribute to that.

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AdministrativeLaugh2@reddit

Same. I find it kinda strange when couples just pool all their money into a single joint account. How do you buy Christmas presents? What if one person spends 90% of the money one month and the other person only gets 10%?

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33backagain@reddit

We put all our money into one account, but keep a few hundred back each month for ourselves in our own accounts. Originally we figured we were both working as hard as each other, so could just share. Then kids came along and my other half stopped working to look after them, I got several promotions and she would never be able to get anything close. We still do the same, even though I’m earning 10x more. I see it more as working together than doing our own thing.

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naynaeve@reddit

We never talked about it, but I spend most money in our account. Because I buy almost everything necessary for everyone in the house and all the presents. There are so many presents to buy now that my and my husband’s family expanded. He understands and doesn’t question it. Albeit less than me, he also spends a lot of money in costco and takeaways. But we always have discussions if one single item costs more than £100. Not because of budgeting issues but we are usually excited to buy whatever that is. So we share our thoughts.

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loopylicky@reddit

When you’re a family it makes a lot of sense to have one account. For budgeting reasons it’s handy to have separate accounts for monthly “fun money” but other than that everything is from one account for us. Works well.

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melanie110@reddit

We opened up Monzo for two separate ones and it’s worked really well for us. We’ve always had a joint account for everything since we started living together. Now we’re in a position to get spending money each month so we send it to Monzo and use it from there

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Professional_Goal311@reddit

Same, this works very well for us.

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Ok_Astronaut_3235@reddit

Joint account for household bills then switch between credit cards with the best cash back rates (where we are both cardholders) to buy groceries etc and pay that bill also from joint account. Both work so both contribute equally to it. Otherwise our pay goes into personal accounts so we can allocate our personal subscriptions (gym etc) and savings separately.

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Little_Pink@reddit

Together over 20 years and we’ve never bothered with a joint account. We add all our bills up then allocate roughly half the bills each. So for example he pays the mortgage but I pay the council tax, car insurance, house insurance etc and it works out the same. For other stuff we just agree at the time we need it who’ll pay. Based vaguely on who’s doing a bit better that month. We’re really open about all our spending it’s not a big deal thankfully.

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malehumangeek@reddit

Everything joint. No concept of his and her money. We’ve been married 15 years and it’s been like that the whole time. I’m the sole earner and have been for ~10 years since we had kids.

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72dk72@reddit

We have never had a joint account though I did have a second account that we both put money in and that paid the mortgage and a couple of other things. We have just generally been responsible for different bills and spending.

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nathderbyshire@reddit

Partner, housemate, whatever if you have shared large costs always go joint account usually. They're not hard to open and the fintech ones make it really easy to manage. I guess the only downside is it financially links you on your credit, but as long as you don't take credit I don't think that affects you. Sole income and earnings goes into personal. Any refunds from bills, things bought together sold go in the main joint or split for personal use. Small overdraft is optional just to catch a bill or something if there aren't enough funds so it doesn't bounce, but I use starling pots to slot bills away and they send notification for upcoming bills and warn when there's not enough funds. It's fair, easier and more private

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No-Sandwich1511@reddit

We have a joint account for joint responsibilities such as household bills, mortgage, car, food, insurance, pet expenses and joint savings. We both pay 50% into this as we are on similar wages. Then what ever is left of our wages is our and we decide what to do with it and keep it in our own accounts. This means we know all essential bills are covered, we will have food in the fridge and we also have our own financial security with our own funds.

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AdonisCarbonado@reddit

I reimburse receipts. I will never ever have a joint account other than a mutual saver or pot that is matched.

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darktourist92@reddit

My girlfriend and I have our own accounts where our salaries are paid into, and a joint account that we pay a set amount into which covers shared costs such as the mortgage, utilities, household shopping, streaming service subscriptions that we both use etc. Any money left over in our personal accounts is ours to do with what we please.

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Mithent@reddit

We have separate accounts, but rebalance our total income 50:50 each month after joint expenses (which come out of personal accounts, not a joint one). We earn very different amounts so things would be very unbalanced if we were both contributing a fixed amount, or even a percentage.

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linkheroz@reddit

We have one. Stuff we'd split costs on, come out of it. Food, stuff for the house, that sort of thing.

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cgknight1@reddit

Joint account for bills, individual accounts for everything else. People can do what they like but my own view is that people should always have independent access to money.

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HomeworkInevitable99@reddit

We have no independent accounts. Everything shared since we moved in together. Been like that for 41 years.

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knightsbridge-@reddit

My now-husband and I got a joint account when we moved in together. We still have our own separate accounts too. Our salaries go into the joint account, and we each get £300/mo allowance into our personal accounts. The £300 is free "spend it on whatever the fuck, no oversight whatsoever" money. We mostly end up spending it on snacks, video games, whatever. The rest comes out of the joint account. Rent, bills, shopping, eating out together, whatever. Anything that's basically for both of us. We did have separate accounts when we first got together, obvs, but we both collectively got sick of having to constantly move money around and talk about who was paying for X or Y, when neither of us cared who paid for it. We don't have individual money (apart from the £300/mo), we just have "our money" and we spend it together. I think this is the most popular way of doing things? Least it seems that way.

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Left_Blackberry_4081@reddit

This is exactly how we do it, even down to the £300 each as guilt free money. I tend to save more and get bigger purchases with it, whereas my partner seems to prefer spending it more readily on clothes / shoes etc. we can do what we like with it, and it’s reduced a lot of friction

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Necessary_Doubt_9762@reddit

This is exactly how we do it too, even down to the £300 each. but I’m the only one of my friends who does it like this. The rest of them have their own separate bank accounts and a joint account for household expenses and I think they think I’m mad for not having my salary paid into a separate account but we have a mortgage and kids, IMO it would be weird if we went out for dinner and had to discuss who was paying for it or whatever. To be fair we got a joint account as soon as we bought our first house, prior to marriage and kids but it’s all worked out fine lol!

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Agreeable-Mix-7425@reddit

If you add in child expenses to joint account then it's exactly how we work too. The free spend money is important, guilt free personal spending removes a lot of friction that finances can cause.

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Mental_Body_5496@reddit

And Christmas and birthday presents 🎁 I remember my dad getting annoyed at my mum fir some transaction and she shouted at his its yiur bloody birthday next week what the hell do you think it is !

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TobblyWobbly@reddit

We're the reverse of that. Salaries go into our own accounts. We each have a standing order that pays into a joint account, with other standing orders going from that to other accounts. The credit card is joint, and I pay half to him every month.

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UselessFranklin@reddit

This is the exact same set up we have too!

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Educational-Yard-181@reddit

This is how we do it too!

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timiny74@reddit

Only have joint accounts since we’ve been married for 25 years. It’s more likely we’d spot a Christmas gift bought in Amazon app than recognize it in credit card account.

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Amylou789@reddit

We just have one account. We've been together since we moved out of our parents' houses, so maybe it's a bit different in that we've never lived independently with individual accounts. But why would you be looking at what each £4 is going to? I semi-regularly check there aren't any big unknown items or regular charges that look like a scam subscription, but otherwise we trust each other that we have the same goals. You have trust around so many things in a relationship that I find not having that with money to be strange. I have savings just in my name, but we both know how much is where and we spend which ever one is in the worst interest account when we make big purchases. I do find if odd that people don't share, especially when married. If you divorce and one has more savings that the other, that's going to get split evenly between you (I know there's exceptions). One has put lots into a pension - that's going to be split. At that point you are actually already fully sharing finances, even with split accounts.

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Amylou789@reddit

And when you get to the kid stage, one of you will be on leave on lower pay. Does that person just not get any spending money? If one person stays at home longer term or is unemployed? Either you would choose to pay them less than a hal share, which is bizarre to me, or you would split the money equally like sharing a joint account.

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Violet351@reddit

We had a joint account where we transferred a set amount for bills and then our own accounts but then weirdly we had a joint credit card which we just both paid off what we could afford each month

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Shitsinhandandclaps@reddit

Don’t see the point in joint accounts. All it does is make sure if one of you has a worse credit score than the other you’ll both be tarnished.

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Dolgar01@reddit

It also means if one of you is incapacitated for any reason, you can still interact with the account

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Ok-Personality-6630@reddit

Plus it avoids any kind of inheritance. And it splits interest earned between both parties.

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cgknight1@reddit

Unless it has an overdraft, then it makes absolutely no difference to credit scoring.

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robowns87@reddit

Credit score isn’t really an issue here unless you’re regularly defaulting - if your partner lets you deal with fhat solo then you have bigger problems.

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ForwardCity9803@reddit

This is exactly the same issue with joint insurance policies

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Ok-Personality-6630@reddit

We have a joint account and solo accounts. I earn significantly more than my partner. We both get the same "allowance" into our solo accounts to spend on whatever no judgement. The rest goes into joint account and pays for everything else. Payments from this account are scrutinised and have to be for the interests of the family.

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sparky750@reddit

Ours is completely separate my wife handles food shopping etc I deal with bills, cars etc . When she first moved in I already had a house paying the bills etc so she took over the food shop it's stayed like for 20 years we never argue about money or spending the only rule is zero debt. Works for us never felt the need to change it

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kitknit81@reddit

We have one joint account that we use for the main household bills ie mortgage, gas, electricity, insurances, etc. It’s all direct debits and we don’t use it for purchases. We each transfer in a set amount each month to cover it all. We have a second account that’s specifically for household groceries/takeaways/fuel that again we each transfer a specific amount to each month for that budget. Then we have our personal accounts where our own bills come out of and we do our personal spending. It works for us.

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TheNotSpecialOne@reddit

Its common enough but not what I do, purely because I earn way loads then my wife. So all bills, mortgage, insurance etc goes through my account, my wife pretty much saves hers. That works for us.

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quarky_uk@reddit

Everything. We don't have individual accounts.

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IAmPeachy_Gurl@reddit

Joint account for regular bills where it's easy to know how much to put in. We have some of our own personal bills related to our interests. Then as we get paid two weeks apart, whoever gets paid does two weeks of shopping/fuel, then on the next persons pay they take over. Set amounts go into a joint savings, some into personal savings, then the rest is spent however we want.

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klmarchant23@reddit

We each get paid into our own accounts but the bills are all split depending on our pay and just get covered by whoever was most recently paid. Most of the time, my pay covers the savings for both emergency fund top up and general savings and then my pay covers the main Credit Card. My partner’s pay covers the usual monthly bills. We don’t really do our own spending, we just agree on purchases over a certain amount, but discuss everything each week. We are both much more driven by holidays than anything material, so we focus on that and splurging there rather than presents for each other etc. It works well for us so don’t foresee it changing. Been together 7 years and lived together for 6.5 years with merged accounts as how we have it now. We both have access to all of each others accounts / cards etc. everything is open and shared.

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Moreghostthanperson@reddit

We pool everything together in a joint account, our wages go into it and all bills and food shopping/spending comes out of it. We have individual accounts but nowadays just default to using the joint account rather than moving money to different accounts. We find it easier to keep track of finances having it all in one place. ‘Fun’ individual purchases are allowed as long as it doesn’t leave us short for food shopping or something our kids need. We tend to run it past each other when one of us wants to treat ourselves as a courtesy but don’t really ‘ask permission’ as such, it’s usually a case of one of us going “I’d like to buy x/do this thing” “okay let’s quickly check the account to make sure it’s feasible” more often than not it is but we don’t earn loads between us so we often double check how things are looking before spending significant amounts on ourselves. We also have a joint savings account with not a lot in it at present, our finances are pretty intertwined nowadays. It just kind of happened after being together for so long, having kids together etc. We both have a LISA each in the hopes that we can one day buy a house together, but will admit it’s been a while since either of us have contributed to that in any meaningful way due to cost of living.

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decentlyfair@reddit

Together 16 years and only just got a joint account but that is more for if something (god forbid) happens I won’t be left high and dry financially. He pays most bills and I pay some using our separate accounts. I tend to do the treat side of life and he does the boring stuff.

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BlackJackKetchum@reddit

Joint account for all transactions for both (middle aged married couple) of us. Separate credit cards tho’, not that that makes much sense.

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gemmajenkins2890@reddit

My partner and I still have and use our own personal accounts from before we were together. Our wages etc goes into these accounts. We then have a joint account together. Only the household bills are paid from there. We don’t even use the cards we both have for the account. We each transfer money in as and when bills are due.

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Huge-Brick-3495@reddit

Easier to share bills as others have said but I added my wife to the bank account because its a packaged account and the same fee gave both of us access to benefits (travel insurance etc).

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LethargicOnslaught@reddit

My partner and I have a joint account. Our salaries go into our own accounts and a sranding order transfers a fixed amount to the joint account which covers all outgoing bills, food, petrol etc, the money left in our personal accounts is ours for leisure.

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smellyfeet25@reddit

not a good idea. best to have your own money

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MrPogoUK@reddit

We have a shared account that the mortgage, bills, grocery shopping etc comes out of, but our salaries go into personal accounts and we just transfer money into the joint account from each month.

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legendarymel@reddit

We don’t have a shared account. Just never bothered setting one up. It also makes things like buying presents easier. My parents have a shared account but they were married for 20years before they set that up. And they only set it up to save on bank fees. I don’t really see the need personally so don’t think I’ll ever bother with a shared account

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Regular_Zombie@reddit

Historically a family would have had a single account where the sole earner's wages were deposited and everything came out of that. Now that it's very common to have dual-income households and marriages are more likely to break down it seems very common to have separate finances. I personally think it's strange for married couples to have separate finances; should you ever split it typically gets split down the middle at that point, so you might as well split it down the middle while you're married too.

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cgknight1@reddit

>should you ever split it typically gets split down the middle at that point Not really, depends on a range of factors. It also ignores the fact that if all of the money is in a joint account, one of the individuals can empty it on the way out.. very common way for people to work out their marriage is over.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

My now-husband and I have had a shared account since we moved in together. I absolutely could not be bothered with the faff of sending each other money all the time. Joint account for joint expenses, then we have individual accounts for personal expenses. Joint expenses: - rent/mortgage - household bills - groceries, cleaning supplies, basic toiletries - insurance/healthcare/food/toys for our cats - cars, mot/service/repairs, car insurance, petrol - home furnishings, furniture, and decorating/DIY/repairs - necessary health stuff (such as prescriptions) - shared subscriptions, most meals out/datss Individual expenses - clothes, haircuts - work lunches if you can't be bothered to prep it at home - socialising with friends, presents - things you buy for yourself (for him that's mostly video games, 3d printing, graphic novels, while for me that's mostly books and fish)

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pikantnasuka@reddit

Yes we have a joint account. But we have always had one pot finances since we moved in together. It just never made sense to either of us do to your money/ my money. I'm sure it works very well for loads of couples but for us, fully shared finances is the way it works. Probably helped that we were both young and broke when we got together tbh!

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Euphoric_Rough_5245@reddit

We have a joint bills account and a joint savings account and our own account. We’ve been together 20 years but I still want to have some form of independency if that makes sense. I know we’re a couple and have a strong relationship but I just need to also feel like an adult who can make their own choices. He would never stop me buying anything if it was a joint account but it would never feel like my money, it’s weird and hard to describe how I feel.

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DameKumquat@reddit

We've never had a joint account because just as we moved in together, banks started getting fussy about opening accounts. With the advent of online banking, we simply couldn't be bothered. We just send money to and fro as needed.

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BertieBus@reddit

We have our own bank accounts, I pay some bills out my account, he pays some bills out of his. Some stuff is only in my name and some stuff is only in his. The only joint bill is mortgage and council tax. That's paid from his account, Been together 16 years. We did this initially as didn't want to combine credit scores (his was awful), it's never occurred to have anything different. I think we are in the minority, everyone I mention it to thinks it's weird.

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robowns87@reddit

We have seperate accounts and a joint account that covers bills, I put more in because I earn double. We have a 10 month old and my wife has been on paternity leave, so I’ve paid more into the account during that period and will put more of a buffer in for nursery. We like having our own ability to discretionally spend and save without the need for consideration of the other. I have saved a lot more and have used that to pay c£70k off the mortgage over the last 3 years while she hasn’t paid any. Equally I’ll be putting over £100k cash towards a place we are trying to buy whilst she will do less than half. It all ends up in the same pot essentially - I’d give my wife every penny I had tomorrow if she asked - but we like having seperate accounts.

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UselessFranklin@reddit

When my husband and I first moved in together we got a joint account that all the bills were paid from that we would transfer into and the rest was ours. Over time we opened other accounts like savings pots etc and how we transfer most of our money into those but we still have our own accounts for buying our own stuff separately each month and that works for us. Truthfully, I do find it a bit odd when a couple doesn't have a shared account at least for bills. The only time I find it truly mind boggling is when a couple, particularly a husband and wife, have kids. Time and time again I'm meeting mothers who are paying for half the bills but paying for everything to do with the kids as well while the fathers keep all their money and pay fuck all towards their kids including childcare. One couple I know the wife did a salary sacrifice as they got childcare through her work (before the free hours for 9 month olds) and after paying her half of the bills she was left with £20 a month for herself while her husband still had £1000+ every month and that's not an isolated incident. Other than that do what works for you.

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InterestingWin3627@reddit

When I was married it was the main account, my salary and bonus went into it, she didn't work as we were in the having babies stage of life, all expenditure came from it. We had personal accounts as well, but they were pretty empty. Now happily divorced , but would probably do the same again, not sure if thats foolish or not.

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eternal_entropy@reddit

My husband and I have 2 shared accounts. 1 for direct debits and monthly bills, and the other for other spending such as groceries, things for our son, eating out etc. We both have separate accounts for our personal spending though.

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Honest-Bridge-7278@reddit

Nice try.

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Pyriel@reddit

We have a joint account with everything going in and coming out.

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WoodenEggplant4624@reddit

Nearly 40 years married, we maintained our own accounts and also a joint account. The joint account is for the mortgage, now paid off, insurance, rates, utilities. Other spending we split as seems sensible, so he pays for the cars and I buy our clothing, food we more or less take it in turns to pay.

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George_Salt@reddit

One joint account with fixed monthly 50:50 contributions to cover the mortgage, shopping, and household running costs. Individual current accounts and savings. Keeps things simple.

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dlt-cntrl@reddit

We've got a shared for bills, and some savings. We pay in the same amount each so if we split for any reason we'd just have half each. We also buy things like vacuum cleaners, washing machines etc, and if there's enough we go on holiday.

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Far_Scallion_97@reddit

If you're stressed about your partner berating you for a £4 coffee I'm surprised you and your partner are getting a mortgage together. My parents have a joint account and my mum couldn't care less if my dad buys 3/4 coffees some days (even if she's currently the breadwinner since he doesn't have a job). The whole point of a join account is that you trust your partner enough to share your finances with them. If you don't trust your parter financially then don't get a joint account, but I would also question why you are with them in the first place.

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Speedbird1A@reddit

Joint account makes sense for rent etc. You don’t have to combine finances beyond that unless you want to. If you get divorced, the whole pot will be looked at together regardless. If you’re worried about losing money to a divorce, marry someone who’s equally career minded!

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PipBin@reddit

We keep our finances completely separate. That way, once all bills are paid, we can both spend money on stupid crap.

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AkraStar@reddit

My husband and I share an account, we also have separate accounts. We do however use a personal finance budget software to track our spending, so whatever comes out of any of the accounts or whatever comes in is put in there, and we budget all the funds. So it really doesn't matter what comes out of which account, it's all itemised on the software anyways. We share our ingoing's, we sort out what we need to spend weekly on whatever items (i.e pet insurance is x a month, we split into weekly payments and then budget it on the app) - we will have different categories for dates/birthdays etc and then once we've put everything where it needs to be we just split the rest as personal spending.

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EvilTaffyapple@reddit

We have a shared account for bills, but have our own separate current account re we get paid into and spend our own money from. We’re married, but we never bought into the whole “one account for both of us”.

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Repulsive_State_7399@reddit

Joint account for 20 odd years. Our separate accounts sat empty for years, so we finally closed them. Never had any arguments about who spent what, and only really check with each other if a transaction looks weird. We were very very poor when we got together so there was no spare money to transfer out! I guess it only works if you and your partner are on the same page about spending money.

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subzero-fun@reddit

We have a joint bank account and our own personal accounts. Before we got married we sat down and worked out the entire household costs per month, then divided the cost based on a percentage of our monthly salaries, I earn more than her so I contribute more. Childcare and purchases for our child usually go on the joint account credit card which we split 50/50. Whatever we have left is our personal money... Never once had an argument about money.

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makemashnotwar@reddit

Together for 20 years, married nearly half of that. When we moved in together after 2 years we got a joint bank account. Each paid our proportional amount of rent (now mortgage), house bills, subscriptions etc. My money gets paid into mine, her salary into hers and we don’t see each others personal accounts. We do share money though so I pay more groceries, for the dog, child expenses etc. Be a pretty rubbish relationship if one of us was living the high life whilst the other struggled

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bishibashi@reddit

We have a joint account that mortgage, bills etc comes out of, but our salaries don’t go into it. I don’t care if my wife looks at my accounts though, the only things I’d try to hide would be gifts. It’s a team game.

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PinkandTwinkly@reddit

We have individual ones, and a joint one Payday - we each transfer enough into the joint one for shared bills. Personal bills/spends then come from our own ones

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Harrry-Otter@reddit

We each have our own bank accounts that we both get paid into and buy stuff for ourselves from. We have a shared account we both put money into for bills and stuff for both of us.

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