so me and my buddy are long‑haulers. 15 years on the road together, mostly Canada and the Rockies. know each other inside out. 

road gets boring, so we screw with each other all the time. 

once he tossed a dead snake in my cab. I damn near shit myself all over the seat. we laughed our asses off later.

so three days ago we pull into this Petro‑Can out in the Rockies. I’m outside having a smoke. Fred’s doing the classic “been holding it 200km” power‑waddle to the washroom. couple guys hanging around the doorway with coffee. some beat-to-hell Toyota Corolla squatting right next to us.

the idea hits me.

i text my kid a pic of the truck. tell him “hey, edit the photo like a meteor blasted our front.”

kid sends it back. I’m fucking losing it.

Fred’s still not back.

honestly: I had that moment of “yeah this is a dumb idea.” if his heart quits, I’m the one paying for his wife and kid.

but then I remembered that dead fucking snake and I hit send anyway.

next thing I know: the washroom door damn near flies off the hinges.

Fred bolts for the truck. tearing across the lot. poor guy didn’t even buttoned his pants. 

bout six people watched him run to the truck, spraying shit everywhere.

no clue when he realised it was fake. I damn near died laughing by then.

it’s been 3 days, we haven’t talked since. 

would you do it yourself, or am I just an asshole?