How do families in the Balkans view marriage with someone from another faith?
Posted by Scary_Examination841@reddit | AskBalkans | View on Reddit | 88 comments
How do families in the Balkans generally react to interfaith relationships — for example Christian–Muslim, Muslim–atheist, or Christian–atheist couples?
Do historical hostilities and cultural differences play a role?
VeterinarianTricky56@reddit
În România majority wouldn’t even accept a Moldovan let alone a Muslim,Hindu or any of these extremely different religions, either way in Romania majority will change there religion from catholic, baptists or whatever when they get married.
AdditionDependent214@reddit
No lies. Romanian people accept marriage with anyone. Whoever told you that is just a Roma person who refuses to marry outside their ethnic group.
AdditionDependent214@reddit
No lies. Roma accept marriage with anyone. Who told you that? Gypsies refuse marriage outside their race.
AdditionDependent214@reddit
No, Romanians don't accept marriage with just anyone. Who told you that? Yes, Roma refuse marriage outside their race.
ali45gh@reddit
Yes and no the poeple from the city are more open to you if the guy mindset is more westernised but the poeple from the villages the majority of them would say no
NoDemand3129@reddit
As someone half from the Middle East and half from the Balkans, it is impossible for me to marry someone who is not of my faith. When I choose a spouse, I am not only choosing a life partner but also a mother for my future children. I want her to have Muslim values and morals, and this is my right.
Not everyone thinks about marriage in this way — some focus only on companionship and don’t consider how the children will grow up. If I didn’t know many people in Albania and the Balkans, I might think that everyone there could marry anyone regardless of religion. But in reality, this is not true and is not very common, except in certain areas.
You will find some people who don’t even know how to properly pray in a mosque or a church, and they say, “Yes, nobody cares about religion here.” But these people are very few. Most people tend to marry someone similar to them or close to them. For example, in Albania, in ramadan mosques are often too small for the number of worshippers, so people pray in the streets, gather for iftar after sunset — all these practices exist in a country that suffered under dictatorship and communism for many years.
Then someone with a narrow mind might tell you, “Albania doesn’t care about religion.” The truth is, I cannot speak for the entire Balkans, but for me, Albania is magical in every way. If you are a practicing Muslim, you can live a wonderful life. If you are Christian, you can freely practice your faith. Even if you are atheist, there is no problem — you can do as you wish. Unlike some countries that oppress other religions, this does not happen in Albania. People here respect their religion deeply, cherish it, and love their country, proudly identifying as Muslim.
So, if someone tells you that in Albania a non-Muslim can easily marry a Muslim — yes, there are rare cases, but they are very few. The majority, whether Muslim or Christian, respect their faith. Even atheists live peacefully without interfering with others.
Interestingly, most people tend to marry within their own religion and often within the same ethnicity. I see no problem with this. For me, religion comes first because it is the only thing that can guarantee the moral character of the person who will be my life partner. My spouse must be religious and close to God.If I am sure that my life partner is truly a practicing Muslim, then he will be the person I trust the most in my life, because only someone who has read the Qur’an can truly understand this. There is nothing greater than being connected to a religious and devoted person.
ali45gh@reddit
As someone who is half south asian half balkan i want a Christian orthodox wife from the balkan so she can cook me some bacon 🥓 😋
Puzzleheaded_Sir903@reddit
I think most families care about what religion the kids will be raised in.
My great-uncle (Orthodox) married Muslim woman. They were too old to have kids together (they both had kids from previous marriages).
My family accepted the wife. I like her more than I like my great-uncle.
ali45gh@reddit
He married a Muslim women as a Christian your grandpa damn that's a new one still nice 👍
ali45gh@reddit
As a pakistani half romania I would like my future wife to be a romania or at least a Christian orthodox from the balkans
Unusual_Emergency_13@reddit
I am a "theoretical" Albanian orthodox man married to a "theoretical" Muslim wife.
She drinks more than I do, so does her father. They also eat pork.
Religion was last of the reasons to get or not married. Unless it was a deeply religious family.
This is because I don't believe in god or religion.
Choice_Bad_840@reddit
When you say albanian orthodox do you mean like greek orthodox?
Unusual_Emergency_13@reddit
If you want to be really anal about it, Eastern Roman Empire orthodox.
Theoretically, initially, Albanians were Orthodox first. During the otoman occupation people started converting to islam. Meanwhile in the north many converted to catholics with the hope of getting support from the pope and Italian city states to fight the otomans.
Currently the majority are mualims, then orthodox, catholics, bektashi muslims and other much smaller ones.
The majority of muslims drink alcohol and eat pork.
Out of the Albanians, I think the ones in NMK are the most religious, then Kosovo, probably Serbia and Montenegro and last Albania.
We celebrate all holidays together in our own way. During both eid Islam holidays my wife and brother in law, both muslims will drink alcohol.
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
Also it’s muslem then catholic and then orthodox.
Unusual_Emergency_13@reddit
Feja e shqiptarit është Shqiptaria. Çdo gjë tjetër është sajesë.
Choice_Bad_840@reddit
Thanks for explaining it.
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
Just so you know catholic have been as such since Saint Paul spread the faith through nowaday Europe and have been as such thorough whole ottoman empire and indeed never fell under it which means they kept their indipendence. Catholic usually merrie with their own but the rest of albanian can be considered agnostic more than anything else
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
Just so u know, Albanians have always been catholic long before the ottomans and they been as such since Saint Paul spread the faith. There is more catholic than orthodox even tho the va st majority of the whole albanian nation is agnostic. Catholic in the north muslem in the center and east , orthodox in the south
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
ic just consolidated this attachment; the Venetian Republic existed hundreds of years before the Ottoman Empire, so there was absolutely no need to convert out of necessity and convenience. Cities like Shkodër, Lezhë, Durrës, Ulqin, Tivar, Drivast, and the entire coastal strip were under the Latin Church, under Venetian protection, with Catholic bishops, Catholic dioceses, and Latin rites. Secondly, the first ancient document ever attested in the Albanian language is an ancient text of the Catholic Church's baptismal formula, written in both Latin and Gheg. And least but not last that list u made where u put Muslim then orthodox and then Catholics is coming straight up from to azz, orthodox have always been a minority and always less than Catholics. There is a serious problem with you griks and the propaganda where everybody adds some of their sh knowledge. Dont ever put us near any of that. AND STOP THIS PROPAGANDA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NEXT U GONNA MAKE G. KASTRIOTI AN ORTHODOX LALUC omg
tony_tony_tony_tony@reddit
my family in particular does not care at all about faith. ethnicity is the only thing that matters
minkadominka@reddit
So it doesnt matter if muslim or christian as long as they are albanian?
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
Well as far as I know catholic Albanians prefer other catholic.
Diligent_Tomato_147@reddit
Yes. I have a ton of friends and I don't know the religion of half of them...
SavingsAbies6833@reddit
I know a lots Albanian. They do not think that way.
vibey-mess@reddit
They’re not albanian then. I’m Kosovo Albanian (culturally muslim), my family would 100% support me if I was marrying an Albanian catholic or orthodox girl, but never a burkha wearing one. I’d be shunned from the fam.
minkadominka@reddit
Thats great :D
Sharp_Complaint9723@reddit
Why are Albanians so obsessed with only marrying albanians? I keep hearing this everywhe, that as long as the partner is Albanian, it’s fine.
IndividualHoliday333@reddit
They aren’t it’s very important for you to distinguish from kosovars and Albanians from albania, they already social experiment while asking 🇦🇱 if they cared about nationality of their partner and the 80% answered with no as long as he/she is a good person.
Educational-Fact123@reddit
Very true
SEND_ME_FAKE_NEWS@reddit
Yeah same, but I married a Chinese girl and told my grandparents to go fuck themselves when they tried to talk me out of it.
Surprise surprise, they love her now.
tripikimi@reddit
Same. My girlfriend is catholic but as long as she's Albanian that's not even a topic.
Capital-Ad-3795@reddit
i’m an atheist. my parents won’t be ok with someone who’s too into religion, whatever the religion is. they also wouldn’t want anyone who’s very openly atheist. i think it’s mostly about culture and not religion. if i went to them with a central-northern European they wouldn’t want that person and doesn’t matter what their religion is.
ideally, they would want someone who’s from where we are from (they’re also not a fan of western turks) and who’s a believer but not someone practicing.
ilijadwa@reddit
Would they be more accepting of a Balkan person, compared to a central Northern European?
Capital-Ad-3795@reddit
i’d say so, yes. Balkans, Mediterranean or Caucasus they would feel much more relaxed with but they may have some biases about some nations among them. still better than a german tho.
Ok-Demand8957@reddit
What's wrong with marrying Central or Northern Europeans?
Capital-Ad-3795@reddit
just cultural differences about family, social norms. i also don’t get along with most of them.
Ok-Demand8957@reddit
Would it be OK if that German is family oriented etc?
SpecialistDesk9506@reddit
Turk here, I am an agnostic, my parents are Muslims (or they think they are -they don’t practice, they disagree with lot of things about religion and my old man likes his beer but who am I to tell them they are not Muslims :)
I have dated an Orthodox Christian, a Catholic, a Jew and a Buddhist throughout the years, no one cared about their religion.
My mum liked the Greek Orthodox girl a lot as her culture and manners reminded my parents their home -we moved to Australia some time ago- things didn’t work out with her unfortunately.
My current partner I am with is an Australian girl with whom I had the longest relationship with, she made an effort to learn Turkish since she thought it’s just fair as I speak her language. She comes from a hardcore religious Catholic family but she is agnostic like myself, every now and then we go to church for a funeral or a special event, no one from her family really asked me about my religion, I just grab a church program and read the prayers I see on it like everyone else, the way I see it I prefer to be nice to people than argue about how I don’t believe it etc. I mean, what difference does it make anyway?
She is my mum’s favorite and I got told in no uncertain terms to keep her. : )
I showed her how to cook baklava, İskender kebab, and Turkish coffee as she asked to learn, she perfected each and every one of these and I totally gave up trying to cook these as they can’t even be compared.
No one in the family asked me about her religion, we have been together for years now.
daddiestofthemall@reddit
ahh what a pure take! The world would be a better place if everyone was more like that. Cheers!
0xPianist@reddit
OPA HABIBI
SE_prof@reddit
We make it into a TV series. 🤣🤣🤣
CallMeClose@reddit
Disregarding ethnicity you could being home anything but a Muslim and I don't think there would be an issue
avkft@reddit
Depends. Before I move abroad my parents didn’t want me to be in a relationship with someone else except Greek and because they are ignorants they think every Greek is Christian. Now that I live outside of Greece they are more chill cause before they never had the opportunity to meet people from other cultures. I guess with a good communication everything can be solved, more and more people tending towards atheism/agnosticism so who cares?!?!
SavingsAbies6833@reddit
I am Bosnian Muslim. I am married to Bosnian muslim girl. We Bosnian Muslim prefer to marry Muslim. Hell no Serbian or Croats Christian. But when it come to other nationality Turkish or Albanian Muslim
Scary_Examination841@reddit (OP)
So what about Turkish and Albanian atheists?
SavingsAbies6833@reddit
That would be ok. Not the best choice but
Steadyfobbin@reddit
I think this will vary a lot dependent on the individual families relationship with religion and where they’re at regionally within the country.
Someone from city might be more accepting vs someone from a village.
Anecdotally I married a Christian American woman, my parents aren’t vary religious, but I will also venture to guess they would have had issues if I married a Christian woman who was from Serbia instead for example.
thatgirleliana@reddit
I think you're right with this. I've observed this anecdotally as well. My parents aren't all that religious either and only started caring about religion/culture after I introduced them to my (now) husband. They're mostly okay now and were never too bad but I'm fairly convinced that they wouldn't have ever said anything if he wasn't Bosnian.
ilijadwa@reddit
A friend of mine is Albanian Muslim (by ethnicity only, not religious) and her parents didn’t care about Islam until she started dating a guy who isn’t Muslim 😪
thatgirleliana@reddit
Yeah, Balkan parents Balkan-ing. I wonder what makes people act like this? 😂
Hot-Cauliflower5107@reddit
In North Macedonia it depends but most right wing nationalists such as the voters of the current party in power VMRO DPMNE look down upon on any mixed marriage. People have been disowned over marrying someone outside their faith.
I know of a girl that married a Muslim in my cities lets just she is ostracized by large number of people in her neighborhood with many comments along the lines of why she really needed to do that?
In the past, during the communist times it was literally unthinkable for anything like that to occur at least in North Macedonia.
ForwardError1372@reddit
This is true. I have a cousin that dated a catholic albanian boy. Even this was litterally unacceptable to her family and was told to break off the relationship or she will be publicly disowned by her parents. Basically anyone aside from Eastern Orthodoxy is likely to raise a few eyebrows at least for nationalist North Macedonians.
l_u_s_i@reddit
i dont think they care, i am a bulgarian christian (atheist) woman and im marrying an arab muslim (also atheist) man, religion is just a label that tells what holidays one celebrates. i dont think anyome knows or cares at all if any of us is a believer even. Im pretty sure the muslims here would consider my fiance's family fanatics because they pray and wear headscarves. Religion doesnt matter in the balkans really. until someone wants to be homophobic, then they suddenly become religious.
l_u_s_i@reddit
if my fiance's family found out we are both irreligious on the other hand....
SuperSector973@reddit
Look at all the nice problems we have due to made up stories about a man in the sky
Mestintrela@reddit
The vast majority of greek parents will not accept a Muslim and will pressure to be converted so they can have a religious wedding.
Buddhists, Hindus , Jains, Sikhs and other exotic religions will be more tolerated. Jews better than Muslims.
Catholics are the most accepted but even then some will pressure the partner to convert to Greek Orthodox.
But god forbid their own child converts to get married. Then it is possible to have a funeral along with wedding from heart attacks.
With atheists, agnostics most people dont care at all.
We are talking about the parents. The siblings and the newer generation dont care that much. Though if you suddenly saw your sister wearing a burka to her wedding they would care very much.
Scary_Examination841@reddit (OP)
So how is someone viewed if his/her family is Muslim but he/she is an atheist?
Mestintrela@reddit
If they are introduced as atheist there shouldnt be much of a problem.
Look we havent reached the point where the typical greek parents will "forbid" their child from marrying practising muslims or anything. But they will have lots of whining, fights, arguments, emotional blackmails, stop talks for a while etc you know.. drama.
Also in my generation where many have reached 35+ and refuse to get married, our parents will accept anything with two legs short of a Taliban and a gypsy.
Refugee_InThisWorld@reddit
Albanians usually tell their inlaws they are christian. Only when grandkids are age five or six they find out that their son in law is named Ilir and not Ilia 🤣
thatgirleliana@reddit
Is not having a religious wedding a major thing?
Mestintrela@reddit
For parents yes it can be.
oioioioioioiioo@reddit
I don't know for nowadays but my grandparents were of different religion and ethnicity but they were also communists so they didn't care
Tykki_Mikk@reddit
….what marriage with who from another fate?
I don’t have such children? Who Maria? Never heard of her , I only have a son . Nope I don’t know a Maria who married a muslim man , no idea why you keep asking me about it. What do you mean who is that in the photos behind me? I have never seen these photos in my life
Satsuka1@reddit
My dont care
bayern_16@reddit
I’m a white American dude and my wife is Serbian, her brother and like five first cousins have non Serb spouses. The first time I visited serbi and as in 2005 which was six years after the Kosovo war. Went to a small city in Serbia to visit her grandparents. I’m visibly not Balkan and she was a little nervous that someone would be rude to me because of the war. The Serbian people are some of the kindest and inclusive people I have ever met. There are lots of Balkans and Eastern Europeans in our U.S. city. Two Bosnian Serb families in my block. I’m wondering how inclusive other Balken cultures are to my situation. If I was dating a Bosnian or Albanian, would the be as welcoming to me? The Greeks here marry everyone. Bulgarians are a newer immigrant group.
Satsuka1@reddit
My wife is Catholic Hungerian we get to celebrate christmas 2 times its great. Only my grandfather was lil mad cuz we didnt have church weding but he use to have picture of Putin on the wall so nobody cared about his opinion.
bayern_16@reddit
We had a full blown Serbian wedding. Myself, and the guys that stood up in my wedding all wore Serbian flags (this is in Chicago). We had a Serbian singer and that party they have in the morning. People brought rakia in those wooden containers.
sarushka93@reddit
My family did not care at all…my boyfriend is german and christian. Bosnia is Home to all religions - so another religion as your own is really nothing special since my parents grew up with a lot of catholic and orthodox bosnians.
Existing-Day-410@reddit
My father married with christian brit. My father side from blacksea. Ethnic wise we are pontus but muslim. They didnt care her religion. One of my uncle married also abhaza christian. Its normal for our family. Im atheist secular girls families dont care usually.
SAULOT_THE_WANDERER@reddit
my parents would hate it if I wanted to marry a practicing muslim
Kitsooos@reddit
Wtf ?
SAULOT_THE_WANDERER@reddit
secular turks in general are mostly culturally muslim; the majority don’t really practice, and many tend to look down on people who do, because open religiosity is usually, and naturally, associated with being an akp supporter
Parquet52@reddit
Your parents and you sound really dumb and backwards
Scary_Examination841@reddit (OP)
My family are only opposed to the hijab and traditional Islam.
FantasticalRose@reddit
If he was Turkish Cypriot ..... Hmmmm. They would get over it in the spirit of unity. But I don't think any other kind of Muslim who was actively practicing would be acceptable.
Ill_Chicken550@reddit
Honestly it depends on the family, in my case, my dad has told me to marry who I want to marry as long as they love and care for me. My mom on the other hand wants me to marry within our religion/ethnicity and got really pissed when I was dating a Catholic Latina.
Living-Rub276@reddit
Um to keep it civil, "Balkan Islam" is the only form of Islam that is accepted. For other religions nobody gives a shit; they would likely be very curious and excited to see some change. But of course, following "christian principles" is expected.
Academic-Ability-393@reddit
Yes, historical hostilities and cultural differences I think play a role to a certain extend. Bulgarians, if they are not from the Muslim minority, would prefer a person who is not Muslim and that’s the reality due to centuries of Ottoman rule. Other Christian denominations aren’t viewed at so distrustfully.
Kitsooos@reddit
Have you seen the video of a random Greek priest shouting "POPE, YOU ARE A HERETIC !" to the pope ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu25TYyM42Y 0:29
Academic-Ability-393@reddit
Well the Greek priest wasn’t far from the truth to be honest, but that’s a religious issue. It’s just that the general conception of people about Islam is more negative in comparison to Catholicism and I think that counts for both of our countries. Christian like countries have just more in common in mentality and lifestyle.
Kitsooos@reddit
Atheist / Agnostic is generally perceived ok, so long as you don't happen upon some ultra-hardcore Orthodox lunatic.
Other Christian denominatons should be ok as well. Again, assuming you don't happen upon the ultra-hardcore Orthodox lunatics.
Jewdeism is so and so. Should be ok for the most part.
Islam is bad. Very bad. You will get a lot of shit from a lot of people.
Other religions (Budism, Taoism etc.) are very unknown and uncommon in Greece, so you should have no problem. They are perceived as "exotic" if anything.
thatgirleliana@reddit
I think this will vary a lot depending on the individual family's view towards religion and whether they live in an urban or more rural area.
A good number of people are only "cultural" Muslims/Orthodox/Catholics/ rather than practicing in any meaningful way and I'm sure the views of these people are different from those of someone devoutly practicing. Anecdotally, I've observed that people are more concerned about cultural/ethnic background than actual religion.
ptrchka@reddit
I dated a Muslim and my parents were somewhat accepting but also apprehensive. I think it depends on the person and family. In my family we are very open minded and don’t like to be limited, and this person was quite rigid in his world views and wanted to have control over every aspect of my life, thought at the start he didn’t make it obvious. So, I don’t know if I’d blame religion for that, but it certainly didn’t help. My parents didn’t want me to end up outnumbered by his family and looked down upon because I am not of their culture.
name2sayMKD@reddit
Its a SIN, expell from comunity, ANATHEMA🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Teodosij@reddit
Based
MirusTheVirus@reddit
Must convert.
name2sayMKD@reddit
Its a SIN, expell from comunity, ANATHEMA🤣🤣🤣🤣
Unable-Stay-6478@reddit
I don't think anyone would have a problem with atheist people.