What was the craziest office holiday party you had?
Posted by CambridgeCue@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 32 comments
Since it's that time of year I figured I'd ask, always love a good holiday party!
yearsofpractice@reddit
It was when I was working at a bar 20-odd years ago - a local supermarket’s Christmas party.
It was depraved. They were absolute fucking animals. There weren’t threatening or aggressive - they just focussed on being as revolting as possible. Hieronymus Bosch would have thought it was all a bit much.
The thing that impressed me most was that someone managed to get vomit on the ceiling. It was an old Victorian building, so the ceiling was about 15 feet high. The vomit was in a big lumpy purple stripe; floor, wall and ceiling.
I have never been able to figure out how they did it. Was it powerful stomach muscles? Did they vomit into a receptacle and throw it? Did someone who looked likely to hurl get picked up by two strong people and waved around like an unholy puke hose?
I think about this occasionally
TinhatToyboy@reddit
It depends on the embouchure, doesn't it?
SamW1996@reddit
Great description.
Mispict@reddit
I worked in fish factories in my late teens/early twenties. Our Christmas parties were feral.
LetFelicityFly@reddit
A married head of department disappeared into the disabled toilet with a much much younger secretary. His wife was in attendance at the party.
That secretary left a couple of weeks later having been asked by a staff member from a branch elsewhere in the country if they ‘knew about Pete shagging a secretary in the loos at the Christmas do’.
Fuzzy_Promotion_4569@reddit
Whats a holiday party ?
KingDaveRa@reddit
OP seems to post in a Boston transit sub.
Lost redditor.
Plus_Pangolin_8924@reddit
Could be a summer party, Christmas party, Halloween.
Reasonable_Pea_5479@reddit
An odd way of saying Christmas
Enough-Ad3818@reddit
From the last time this was asked, I dug out my response from a year or so ago:
Haven't done the work Xmas party for a while. However, one of my favourite years was when I worked at a local authority. I was 19 or so, and still quite naive about life.
One lady got hammered after just two drinks and started being really inappropriate. She was grabbing dicks and forcing guys hands into her bra and stuff. She was crazy drunk.
Next thing I know, she's stood on the bar of the place, and shouting "Form an orderly queue, and I'll fuck you all!"
One brave manager tried to get her down from the bar, which she misconstrued as her first candidate, and whilst shouting "Would have expected you to be the first in line!" she sits on the bar and hitches up her skirt to reveal she had no underwear on.
The bar staff had to eject her from the premises and someone called the local cab company to get her a lift home. When the cab arrived, they refused to take her as she'd been banned for inappropriate behaviour with cab drivers in the past..
I had to take her home, but I made sure I took 2 female colleagues with me and the mad woman sat in the back, away from me. She left the job not long after that, and I don't live in that city any more, but when I visit there, and go by that bar, I always wonder what happened to her!
Beneficial-Pitch-430@reddit
F1 team xmas party. Usually hire out a whole venue (hotel etc) hire some bands/dj/live entertainment and always an open bar. Been for the last 8 years. I’m actually going to give it a miss this year, it’s too much..
Intrepid_Bearz@reddit
I had launched a full on charm offensive on the office bully, as he liked to shout at people and make some of them cry, and I discovered that saying “Stop! You’re turning me on!” when he tried screaming at me) stopped him and made him all flustered. He was big, burly and all macho. I’m big, burly and gay as a goose. He didn’t quite know what to do. Anyhow, a bit of alcohol in him at the Christmas party and I ramped up the flirting a bit, and weirdly, he started flirting back a bit! Anyhow, the manager found me bent over a desk with him spanking me with a wrist rest 😅🤣 Then, while our manager was standing there looking like a stunned mullet, and he and I were frozen in place, office bullies WIFE walks in 😂. She certainly was not pleased and dragged him off while screaming at him. She stopped making him lunch after that and he had to drink cold tomato soup out of the can …and try not to make eye contact with me. Good times.
No_Recording1088@reddit
That was great revenge! His life flashed before his eyes at that moment!
DreamingofBouncer@reddit
Two
First one was a Bloomberg Christmas party in 2000. Reportedly cost over £1m. They flew all the staff from the Europe, Africa and Middle East offices to London and I mean everyone including the receptionists and post room staff
Held in a building in Bloomsbury under going renovation with 5 floors based on 7 deadly sins with different rooms for each sin.
The lust room had a 14 foot heart shaped bed, the sloth room had a sofas with staff dressed in Greek togas fanning you with palm leaves and feeding you grapes. The greed room was just stuffed with food and drink. We drank champagne which was topped up with no question.
It was the most amazing thing I ever attended.
Two years before that I went to the Nestle Croydon Christmas party in a Streatham nightclub with sticky carpets where chaos ensued. Someone glassed their manager as he found out he was sleeping with his girlfriend who also worked there. He was shocked when he was dismissed the following week.
spiffing_@reddit
I bet the Streatham nightclub was Caesars. Decades before it used to be called The Cats Whiskers. It was demolished for flats years ago.
Caesars shopfront had a dangerous looking metal facade of their namesake on a chariot holding a massive fork.
Interesting the nestle building didnt have it at blue orchard literally next door.
roygbiv1000@reddit
That last example is just a typical night out for people from Croydon, isn't it?
PaulotheLimey@reddit
Quiet night in Croydon to be fair.
DreamingofBouncer@reddit
As my daughter likes to say when questioned about her street smarts. Don’t worry I grew up in Croydon, it’s a bit stabby
DameKumquat@reddit
In Streatham's only nightclub, no less. I'm assuming Caesar's, sadly long closed.
rosstoferwho@reddit
I mean nothing beats this... OP needs to mark this as answered
Nandor1262@reddit
I did coke for the first time with two girls from work in a club and woke up in bed with them both 😂 my female flatmate knocked on my door to ask if I wanted pancakes and was like “wtf” as the came round the two girls then freaked out that she’d think they were “ho’s” so left quickly whilst I was explaining my night to her in the kitchen
Additional-Nobody352@reddit
20 years ago when I worked for a large retailer (i won't mention the name. But pocket tap).
One lad got sucked off in the lift a the venue.
Also they made it OK for under 18s to drink and there was a massive fight at the end of the night just after I left.
N7twitch@reddit
Work paid for a nice meal with drinks for about ten of us. It was in a hotel function room with lots of other tables doing the same. Drinks (table wine) were free until midnight. None of us wanted to pay for drinks at the bar, so instead we went to all the other tables and grabbed as many half-bottles of wine as we could carry. Once we finished those off, we went around the tables again pilfering all the half glasses of wine.
I don’t remember a huge amount of the rest of the evening. Someone climbed an excavator? Not sure. Anyway, the hangover the next day was honestly life changing.
Anathemachiavellian@reddit
Many years back, fresh out of uni, I found the first place that would hire me was William Hill. The staff were a mix, a few genuinely bright and interesting people, but most were as rough as the clientele. They hired out a large Indian banqueting suite in an industrial estate in Perivale and provided an open bar. That night, I witnessed more fingerings and bathroom blowjobs than I would ever care to, by an order of 100%. Fights broke out amongst cashiers, managers and head office types. And the cherry on top was a very drunk member of staff sat on a chair to the side of the dance floor who initially pissed herself, and then started to emit the smell of death after she clearly shat herself. She continued to work there with zero shame about the incident.
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
I don't want to dox myself, but there was sex, drugs and broken bones.
Early_Enthusiasm_787@reddit
Mate had an office party. Lots of drink. Then they go to hotel room to party with some powder. He says no and calls it a night in the lobby. Cameras show he goes home. Everyone else gets sacked after the police arrest everyone in the hotel room in the sex and coke binge going on. Lucky and smart choice by my mate.
GayAttire@reddit
Got so drunk i ended up getting blown outside... at least it was a girl, I guess?
marlonoranges@reddit
I have two stories. One personal and one anecdotal.
I worked for a large bank decades ago. They hired out a huge local nightclub and put on a Christmas event for a thousand people with a free bar. It was utter chaos. Fights, hook-ups, everything. Every year HR would have to fire multiple people in the aftermath.
Years later I dated a girl who worked for her company's HR. The director of the company was having affairs with two female underlings and had them both attend the office Christmas party held in a hotel. He had them each in rooms next door to each other (neither of them knew about the other) and went between the rooms, getting a kick out of having access to them both.
Early_Enthusiasm_787@reddit
Lad
Edd_the_Redd@reddit
Two guys I worked with, both invited their brothers. No one knew they had history and coke habits. It was a big fight and everyone was dragged into HR Monday morning. To be fair it was a good time
Kudosnotkang@reddit
I think very few companies take staff on trips abroad these days.
But I did work for one that did and it ended as you could imagine hookups and affairs and someone getting pushed in the pool and not taking it well . Very awkward return to the office .
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