WE LOVE THE SUBS!!! | TheaterFire

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instant_ramen_chef@reddit

You guys do realize that these ads were a massive failure, Right? These ads were met with such dislike that it is widely speculated that the loss of business is what led to their downfall.

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Oreostrong@reddit

Ah the sub place that made every sandwich artisan start asking "would you like that toasted?"

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Unfortunately those Chinchillas were later seen partying with Jeffery Epstein, putting them in the same category as most other sandwich shop mascots, such as Jared Fogel, and the Jersey Mikes guy who was caught driving in a school zone with no pants on.

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CeraKatherine@reddit

The one we went to had live music on Fridays. It was a little surreal hearing a saxophone in a Quiznos...

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omnes1lere@reddit

I used to work at quiznos... it was ok overall, the free sandwich for lunch was excellent though

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quidPROjoe21@reddit

“BEWARE OF PAPER CUTS!”

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Mr_Sophistication462@reddit

Favorite part. 😆

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astro_skull@reddit

That was 10 years too early. That would have gone amazingly viral.

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2reeEyedG@reddit

I hated this place. I don’t even think they had mayo let alone any other good toppings

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draculawater@reddit

We also love the moon, ‘cause it is close to us.

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whirlingbervish@reddit

My friends still sing this when we go camping.

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Carpeteria3000@reddit

But not as much as a spoon

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ChonkyGloves@reddit

Or cheese.

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Chai47@reddit

Yes !!!

Gotta love the Spongmonkey.

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2reeEyedG@reddit

Cause they taste good to us!

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junto80@reddit

“They got a pepper bar!”

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Frequent_Tiger_1637@reddit

Peak early-2000s energy. That line lived rent-free in our heads for years.

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ER_Support_Plant17@reddit

Still living in my head

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PrincessSarahHippo@reddit

I don't think I ever ate ate Quiznos. But those feral rodent things will never leave my memory.

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riding_writer@reddit

I remember eating there once and the guy behind the counter was such an ass. I didn't want my lettuce and tomato to go through the oven but he said that was the only to get it. I never ate there again and was kind of happy when they went out of business.

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tookMYshovelwithme@reddit

I feel like petty vindictiveness is a xennial trait. Not on the big things, but definitely on the small things.

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orielbean@reddit

My favorite one I witnessed: MVP Sports, shoe dept guy watched 2 people walk through the almost-closed store, made eye contact, and JUST before they waved him over, he does a spin move away through the back stockroom doors. And then the store closes

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tookMYshovelwithme@reddit

Me.. you... the shoe department guy.. we all know those mall rats weren't going to buy shit anyway.

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bacon_in_beard@reddit

those feral rodent things are the sponge monkeys!

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PrincessSarahHippo@reddit

We learned about them in marketing but I clearly forgot. I remember learning about the trunk monkey, so I am not a total lost cause.

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blogsymcblogsalot@reddit

What about the bathroom monkey?

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pinkocatgirl@reddit

I worked at one in college, I legitimately liked the food. I had a turkey and Swiss with their chipotle mayo like every day I worked and never got tired of it.

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Szeth_Vallano@reddit

Lived? I still sing this one out at random.

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adamcmorrison@reddit

Man I used to just absolutely;y devour the 3 pepper sauce

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Blizzardof1991@reddit

Literally first thing I said when I saw the picture

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songbirdathrt4122@reddit

Obligatory 😂

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UncleGarysmagic@reddit

When you have a $5 ad budget

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ConditionalDisco@reddit

I never ate at Quizno's again after those commercials. I don't get using gross stuff to advertise food. They gave me the ick before that was a saying.

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Siphoneder@reddit

Quiznos didn't make money from selling subs, they made money from scamming people into becoming franchisees of money losing businesses, with one killing himself. Hence why they were all over the place in the 2000s and barely any are around today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quiznos#Lawsuits_and_controversies

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BloodyRightToe@reddit

I knew it was a scam because they put so much sauce on the sandwich we called JizzNos

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tonyrocks922@reddit

It's crazy how fast they grew and then how hard they fell. Their lasting legacy is Subway toasted sandwiches. Subways never had toasters/convection ovens before 2004 when they added them in response to how popular Quiznos was getting.

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dufflebag7@reddit

I heard Boston Market pulled similar shenanigans when it was expanding in the 90s.

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GrinchStoleYourShit@reddit

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever met someone that’s eaten at Boston Market

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trifecta000@reddit

I completely forgot about Boston Market until this very moment lol.

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xzelldx@reddit

Until very recently, DFW still had a few of these. There’s one left in Plano at Legacy and 75. One day I’m going to have the last Italian sub from that place I’ll ever have.

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yayoffbalance@reddit

you are the italian fan, too???!!!!!

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ABeardedBeast@reddit

Bwahahaha

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goofytigre@reddit

I miss Quiznos. Haven't found a toasted turkey, ranch, and swiss sandwich that comes close to their's.

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blasto2236@reddit

One of the last remaining Quizno’s in the US is in my tiny ass town in Oklahoma. They’re in the lobby of a bank that has a few other shops in there.

IDK if it’s the location or what, but they’ve thrived for over 20 years.

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i-steal-forks@reddit

FWIW there are about 150 locations left in the U.S. They are mighty fine sandwiches.

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yayoffbalance@reddit

Cheba Hut is so great, and they have a bar, not a pepper bar, but a bar. and ours has cheap PBRs!

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EmmalouEsq@reddit

Turkey ranch and swiss, no onions

I'd love just one more!

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JoeGibbon@reddit

I ate at Cheba Hut all the time when I lived in Fort Collins. I miss that place, best subs ever.

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goofytigre@reddit

One recently opened in my little town and we love it!

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ichthyomusa@reddit

Are they gone? I currently live in Seoul and there's several Quiznos here.

But there's also Toys R Us... so maybe Korea lives in the past as well as in the future.

TBF tho, the quality and toastiness is not even remotely close to when i had Quiznos at home back in the day.

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greenmky@reddit

I used to love the Turkey on Rosemary bread, it had a red pepper sauce I've never quite found a substitute for out in tht wild.

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PsionicKitten@reddit

Firehouse Subs does a pretty damn similar Italian to Quiznos.

Also *theirs. Possessive pronouns don't get apostrophes.

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Pocusmaskrotus@reddit

There's still one in my city. I really should get one. They were so good, I don't understand why they went under.

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Superjoe42@reddit

They were really good but it sounds like they suffered from (possibly deliberately) poor management.

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Glass-Marionberry321@reddit

Wasn't it private equity took over, like they just started with Jersey Mikes? They run things to the ground and make money.

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BehavioralSink@reddit

I don’t ever want to look at the nutritional information, but whoever came up with the idea of a chicken Alfredo sub deserves an award.

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koolaid_chemist@reddit

I just had Quiznos in the Vegas airport, weird. I hadn’t seen one in YEARS.

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agnostic_familiar@reddit

The only 2 times I ate Quiznos in my life (mid-2000s) I got insanely sick. But do I still love this ad & recall a good chunk of the lyrics?

Yes ✅ and Yes ✅

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elphaba00@reddit

When Quiznos closed, I had to replace them with Potbellys for a toasted sandwich fix. It’s just not the same.

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Less_Tacos@reddit

Mmmm, back when Quiznos was actually good.

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Patdub85@reddit

The salads were better than the subs... and I HATE salads.

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Idiopathic_Sapien@reddit

This ad campaign made me never eat at Quiznos again.

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RunAwayBeerTruk@reddit

I lived off this one day a week for like a year.

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Theartistcu@reddit

The amount of times I bust out “they got a pepper bar” to blank looks…

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knightricer210@reddit

The timing on this post is perfect. I just stopped at the only Quiznos in my city for dinner right around the time this was posted, and I hadn't been there in years...

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MurrayGrande@reddit

These ads were rather good

https://i.redd.it/gl8rs8pa4p3g1.gif

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Ozy_Flame@reddit

WE ARE NOT THE HUNS

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Emergency-Explorer-6@reddit

This was the greatest website ever made

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TheVenetianMask@reddit

Soupy George was the first truly viral internet meme.

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gerardkimblefarthing@reddit

I have often needed naughty hedgehogs in my life and no one is working in that medium any longer.

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MTrizzle@reddit

Mmmmmm… toasty

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AngelaIsStrange@reddit

Those dead hamsters freaked me out

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Just_Average2655@reddit

Any coupon works!

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TheBr0fessor@reddit

I've been a vegetarian for 12 years but I would eat the everloving fuck out of a double toasted chicken carbonara

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Unlikely_Syrup5087@reddit

We need to bring back unhinged commercials like this.

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mcg_090@reddit (OP)

Hell yes. Agreed

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Ralliman320@reddit

Eat Quiznos subs!

They are a dollar off

When you bring a coupon!

For things to eat or oil changes

For pony ride or for hair plugs

Any coupon works!

Eat Quiznos subs!

..that jingle will live in my head until I die.

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ScreenTricky4257@reddit

Yeah, this is the first version I heard. And it worked; I became a Quizno's fan.

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yayoffbalance@reddit

friggin loved thier food, too. the italian sub was dream.

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yayoffbalance@reddit

YES! i will randomly play these and i will sing "they got a pepper baaaaarrr" to my former college roommate. we would get so stupid high, watch adult swim, and lose our shit to these commercials. i love them so much. like, you have no idea how happy they make me.

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noswimming1978@reddit

I totally forgot about this ugly little fur baby. I loved quiznos.

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beardedliberal@reddit

Millennials, “Gen Z humour is weird.”

Meanwhile, Millennials…

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DoingTheDumbThing@reddit

I can’t even make fun of the whole 6 7 thing because I thought this was the peak of comedy

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-Banana_Pancakes-@reddit

I never thought this was funny. I thought it was weird to use rodents to advertise food just like Tang using monkeys.

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Moon_Noodle@reddit

As I've gotten older, I've come to realize...

Every generation has weird humor and it's great.

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tinglep@reddit

They are tasty they are crunchy they are warm because they toast them!!!

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NoContextCarl@reddit

I always loved it when intentionally weird or off beat shit somehow makes it to the mainstream. Imagine working at an ad agency these days and pitching this idea. 😅

I wish Quiznos lived on with this insane ads.

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NthDgree@reddit

I hated those commercials lol. I had actually forgotten about them.

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GTAmark@reddit

I still love those subs 🥲

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I_Dont_Functionn@reddit

I miss Quiznos and their expensive subs...SO FIRE. Honestly though, speaking of fire, Firehouse subs has done an excellent job bridging that craving gap. Unfortunately now my local firehouse subs is gone.

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Howard_the_Dolphin@reddit

They are crunchy, they are toasty, they are good because they toast them.

ThEy HaVe A pEpPeR bAr

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bascule@reddit

Since nobody has spelled it out specifically, these were the Spongmonkeys from rathergood.com, prolific creators of early flash animations, and if you've never checked out their other work you definitely need to see the Laibach Kittens and Tales of the Blode

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JoeGibbon@reddit

They also made some naughty ones. This is what I think of, whenever I see any of their other characters.

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dowut_ohghey@reddit

It's Chance Wilkins

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Kikyo10@reddit

I remember seeing this for the first time. I had no idea what was going on, but I loved it

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lesliev2001@reddit

I could really go for a turkey bacon guac

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ItsJustBrew@reddit

i wish they still did a meatball sub

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eurydice88@reddit

Was this the same ad company that did the weird Del Taco ads around the same time?

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RealityOk9823@reddit

Wait, what the hell? I thought Quiznos was out of business?

https://www.quiznos.com/

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Complete-Dimension35@reddit

This was a great ad campaign. Caught attention. There were no Quiznos in my immediate area when it was going. We were ruled by Subway, Blimpie's, and the original string of Jersey Mike's (I'm from New Jersey). When one opened by me, I was there for opening day because of these ads.

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dufflebag7@reddit

Blimpie’s! Haven’t seen one of them in years. Apparently there are still a handful left in NJ per their website.

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RealityOk9823@reddit

We need Blimpie's to come back.

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badllama77@reddit

Traditional with olives we miss you.

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Carpeteria3000@reddit

I still love the original. Joel Veitch is a genius.

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mysecretissafe@reddit

There’s one that maybe belongs in r/lostmedia now. It was his version of Sting’s latest song. It went:

I need the toilet I need to shit Going to do it on the carpet

And I can’t find it!

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Electronic-Ride-564@reddit

Well, it's a one for the monkey!

...that's from the same site too, right?

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CNBLBT@reddit

I still randomly sing "I bought the wrong bananas" for no good reason.

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Carpeteria3000@reddit

“My baby donkeyyy”

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mcfetrja@reddit

Them Naughty Hedgehogs man… whew.

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PupLondon@reddit

I fucking love these ads. Theyre SO stupid ..but i will sing, out of the blue - "TRY QUIZNOS SUBS! SUBS ARE A DOLLAR OFF! WITH A COUPON! Or similar. Im probably butchering it, but they are forever in my memory

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freezingprocess@reddit

I loved those commercials.
I also loved the songs from them not in the commercials.
Axe Wound is a banger!

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purplecrayonadventur@reddit

We got a pepper bar!

I thought this was some fever dream...

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bigredgun0114@reddit

Most people forget this started as an Internet meme. The Quiznos ad was an homage of spongemonkey's song "we like the moon"

Dr pepper did a similar thing with "chocolate rain". They got tay Monday to do "Cherry chocolate rain"

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surlysquirrelly@reddit

...and someone down the hall had a 4 ft bong... the good ol' days

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JustACasualFan@reddit

Those ads were the only reason I ate there. Well, the first time. Their toasted subs were actually pretty good.

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Mattimvs@reddit

I miss Quiznos

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fingerling-broccoli@reddit

Warm and toasty

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DisastrousBeautyyy@reddit

I used to get their Chicken Carbonara subs when I was pregnant! Omg!!! Delicious!!!!!

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Fools_Errand77@reddit

….we have a pepper bar!

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Ohio_gal@reddit

What a fucking fever dream. 😂

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JadeDragonMeli@reddit

I used to love Quiznos. I was territory manager for a company at one point and two of my locations had a Quiznos close to them in the same strip malls.

Hands down they were better then subway, blimpies, and any other sandwich shop going at the time.

Always thought it was weird that so many went out of business so quick.

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SehanineMoonbow@reddit

These ads annoyed the hell out of me. I refused to eat Quiznos for over two decades because of them.

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PsionicKitten@reddit

I still assert Quiznos was ahead of the time using internet memes in their advertising. People who were like "What the fuck?" just weren't primed on the internet memes like "We like tha moon!" yet.

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kevlar51@reddit

Any coupon works!

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Capable_Salt_SD@reddit

These things still give me nightmares, good lord

And with advertising campaigns like this, it's no wonder why Quizno's eventually went bankrupt

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MolassesConstant2256@reddit

Honey Bacon Club with extra sauce

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Original_Telephone_2@reddit

This was ahead of it's time

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Few_Improvement_6357@reddit

There was a dirty naked man wearing a bush. He saw a man in pants and exclaimed, "You have been cursed with the legs of a goat."

The man in pants replied, "Nay, these are pants. They keep my legs warm without scratches."

Bush man grabs his bush protectively and says, "I don't like change. I will keep my bush." And runs off.

Quiznos. We're like the guy who wore pants. This lives rent free in my head.

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greaterwhiterwookiee@reddit

My ex wife worked at Quiznos when this came out. We were actually helping the owner open his second store of his franchise so we spent a lot of time in there. The number of times we yelled “THEY’VE GOT A PEPPAH BAHHHR”, well, I don’t think there’s a number.

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