Steven Seagal | TheaterFire

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onion4everyoccasion@reddit

When they killed Bruce Willis at the end of sixth sense... and I jizz in my pants

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BeardedPuffin@reddit

You’re telling me the guy in the hairpiece was Bruce Willis all along?

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Squi5hma110w@reddit

Oddly enough, this spoiler also works for 12 Monkeys

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XennialBoomBoom@reddit

To be fair, Bruce Willis can only be Bruce Willis unless you provide him with a hairpiece.

That's why he did such a good job of portraying Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction.

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Eric848448@reddit

I was gonna watch that! THANKS A LOT!

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sacklunch@reddit

What the hell! I just sat down to finally watch it 😮

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Petraaki@reddit

It's not one movie, but Liam Neeson basically did this in the Star Wars prequels too

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I don't know if people really remember the shock of it, but Seagal dying within like 15 min of the movie starting was HUGE! I saw it in theaters and people were just looking at each other like "did he just die? Is he really dead now"? It had never happened before. And I remember correctly, he got like sucked out of a window or something stupid like that haha

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Happy-For-No-Reason@reddit

Guy Pearce - Hurt Locker

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Stwltd@reddit

Jesus in The Easter Story. They nail him to a plank of wood! You won’t believe it!

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karlverkade@reddit

Not first twelve minutes of the movie, but first twelve minutes of his cameo…Bill Murray in Zombieland is a classic.

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djsynrgy@reddit

Has there been a better cameo? (Probably, but I'm having trouble thinking of one without Googling it.)

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Butstuph420@reddit

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BloodyPaleMoonlight@reddit

Fun Fact: Steven Seagal went to the premiere of the movie, and once his character died on screen, he stood up and left.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Here’s another fun fact about Steven Seagal: in the 90s, he cut a reggae album…and it’s so awful that you have to hear it. You can find it on Youtube music, click on the song Strut, I dare you.

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Dimac99@reddit

I'm not falling for that "I dare you" thing, we're not in school anymore!

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Was this after you found the song? 🤣

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HollowVoices@reddit

That's a very Stephen pos Seagull thing to do

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Sad_Ad_3559@reddit

Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein. He started out dead, got better.

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Sad_Ad_3559@reddit

Steve Buscemi and Quentin Tarantino in Reservoir Dogs

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DookieMcDookface@reddit

Drew Barrymore in Scream?

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Siphoneder@reddit

Wasn't this an homage to Psycho that did it 35 years earlier?

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APFernweh@reddit

No. Janet Leigh had a solid several scenes, probably about 25 minutes of screen time. She had her own whole story arc complete with multiple sets. Drew was one and done, only there to be the anonymous slash victim (and, in reality, to be the headliner to jump-start the franchise).

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RightclickBob@reddit

That wasn't in the first 10 minutes of the movie

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_dangling_participle@reddit

Good one. They liked that lil' joke--repeated it with Jada and Omar in Scream 2, and Liev Schreiber in Scream 3, lol.

Different franchise but Sarah Michelle Gellar in The Grudge 2.

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Herky_T_Hawk@reddit

SMG died earlyish in Scream 2 also.

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sasssyrup@reddit

That was an awesome use of a name too. I love when a film ignores plot immunity

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Sorry_Whole_9412@reddit

totally iconic moment, she really set the tone for the whole series

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_TheWolfOfWalmart_@reddit

Seagal was the worst of those 80s/90s action stars! I'm glad he wasn't popular too long lol

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2Beldingsinabuilding@reddit

Christian Slater in Broken Arrow.

Emilio Estevez in Speed.

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IndependentLove2292@reddit

Flea in Dudes.

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Sad_Subject_5293@reddit

Omg haven’t thought about that movie in 30 years. I’m gonna watch it today.

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ColbyAndrew@reddit

Bill Paxton U-571

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Sad_Subject_5293@reddit

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Bill Paxton Terminator (Maybe. It's not super clear)

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Well, he shoves him really hard then rips out his homie’s heart, then the third guy is seen giving him his shirt. The superhuman Terminator strength just leads us to assume that he died in the exchange.

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sleepwalkfromsherdog@reddit

I see a lot of things crediting him as the only person to be killed by a xenomorph, a Yautja, and a terminator so I guess it's official?

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Upstairs-Storm1006@reddit

Patrick Swayze in Ghost.

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cmgww@reddit

Technically yeah, but he’s still in the whole film….just in ghost form. If had just disappeared or went heaven immediately it kinda ruins the film…

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Sad_Subject_5293@reddit

Just like Peter weller in Robocop

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statistacktic@reddit

Sean Beam, GOT

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Only1Skrybe@reddit

James Earl Jones

(And all of our childhood with him)

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xenolithic@reddit

Halle Berry in The Last Boyscout, didn't last terribly long.

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deefunkt01@reddit

I saw Executive Decision in the theatres and I was surprised he died so quickly - he was a pretty big star at the time.

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dryheat85000@reddit

Like handful of them in The Suicide Squad (2021)

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lopan75@reddit

It was hilarious cause he was prominent in the trailer like they wanted him to be a draw.

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NachoNachoDan@reddit

He really did just die a hilarious death in the first five minutes too. It was great.

I saw that movie in the theater with my grandma. We both loved Steven Segal movies because they were so awful. We called him Bullet Head.

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KayBeeToys@reddit

It was a great scene, though. Seagal and Kurt Russell in a tunnel between a stealth bomber and a passenger jet:

Russell: we’re not gonna make it!

Seagal: you will!

Seagal proceeds to shove Russell up and into the passenger jet, slamming the hatch just as the tunnel fails and he plunges to his death.

Seagal is a terrible actor and a worse person, but that might have been his finest moment.

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Frequent-Jacket3117@reddit

I think his fines moment ironically enough was the opening scene of the first movie he ever did - link

It was all downhill after that.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

If you’re a fan of Steven Seagal being terrible, check out his reggae album on Youtube Music.

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RandoScando@reddit

Your grandma sounds like she was (or is?) rad. Bullet head is the most appropriate name for him with his stupid head and hairstyle. I like it.

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NachoNachoDan@reddit

She was a super cool lady.

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djsynrgy@reddit

NGL, I thoroughly enjoyed those two or three big-budget movies he starred in. I definitely remember watching Under Siege and The Glimmer Man on cable move channels with my Mom. She used to laugh hysterically during the fight sequences; not directly at Seagal, but at the absurdity of infinite going in for the attack. In my head, I can almost still hear her in mid-hysterics yelling "WHY is anyone still f**king with him?!" at the TV.

It's wild to me that he never worked for Cannon Films. They were practically made for each other. 😆

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ouijahead@reddit

The henchmen always go after him one at a time to.

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xander6981@reddit

They just missed each other. Cannon Films was folding just as Segal was getting famous. But I agree, he would have fit in perfectly with their types of movies. Segal's early films were very much in the same mold as a typical Cannon film.

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ProblemLongjumping12@reddit

Fun fact: That movie was way more violent at production but then the pearl clutchers at the MPAA got a hold of it and made them tone it down or it was going to be slapped with the dreaded death sentence NC17 upon release.

There are some noticeably weird, inexplicable out of place cuts during the fight scenes. That's why.

I would love to see a fully restored director's cut.

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post_obamacore@reddit

He was initially supposed to be one of the leads, but at the time of production it was becoming very clear that he was a real piece of shit, so they killed his ass off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND4882k5sd8

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0peRightBehindYa@reddit

I was gonna say, he got top billing on the trailer and everything.

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ReggaeForPresident@reddit (OP)

It was quite shocking to my young self at the time.

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Searchlights@reddit

Sean Bean in everything

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ThepalehorseRiderr@reddit

This phenomenon is forever known as "getting executive decisioned" to me. My dad and I went to see Executive Decision in the theater (fuck you, don't judge me). For all the shit people talk about Seagal now, there was a time that he was hot. ED was probably the height of his career. Couldn't believe they smoked him like that.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Hot like his 90s reggae album. Go to Youtube Music, search for Steven Seagal, and click “Strut”. I dare you.

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ThepalehorseRiderr@reddit

I want the punani...

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

You’re doing this now?! 🤣

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ThepalehorseRiderr@reddit

7:28 here but I done heard that shit.... My little brother and I used to vehemently argue about who was better... Seagal or VD. I was team SS. Nobody laid a finger on SS in his prime.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Of the three major action stars of the 90s, the only American gets fat. Van Damme is Belgian, Schwarzenegger is Austrian.

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ReggaeForPresident@reddit (OP)

Yes. It was shocking to see him killed off so quickly. No one expected that.

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ThepalehorseRiderr@reddit

The weird thing is, is that nobody is shy about saying what an asshole S.S. is in Hollywood. The John Leguizamo story connected to this movie is legendary. Still, it seems all involved act like this was always the plan. I find that hard to believe. Yes, Tommy Lee was in Under Siege but I feel like this movie is the first time that SS really brush up against Hollywood. When he did he showed his ass. And that was the beginning of the end. His entire career now is all about laundering Russian money. Putins dick is so far up his ass that he's a puppet.

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guywithshades85@reddit

Samuel L Jackson in Deep Blue Sea

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No-Hospital559@reddit

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rob132@reddit

It ate me! The shark fucking ate me!

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StatementLazy1797@reddit

NO I CANT STOP YELLIN CUZ THATS HOW I TALK

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cosp85classic@reddit

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Boring_Refuse_2453@reddit

Does he die in the first half of jurassic Park as well?

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guywithshades85@reddit

Yes, but he wasn't famous yet.

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chadwickipedia@reddit

Same in goodfellas

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PlanB191@reddit

That might have been a little past halfway so not sure if that counts.

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sasssyrup@reddit

Actually jumped when this happened

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Exciting-Flounder-85@reddit

https://youtu.be/RAhQ5JjwhV0?si=XhGn8aUuXcSv5-4b

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_FLostInParadise_@reddit

The first thing we're going to do is close this tank.

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guywithshades85@reddit

I wouldn't stand so close to there. It's just a suggestion.

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Sad_Subject_5293@reddit

Peter Weller Robocop lol 😂

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Also the actor who ended up playing a doctor who got killed in another series.

The one who died from toxic waste and getting hit by a car. A lot of us were kids when we saw this shit.

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fakeaccount572@reddit

Jennifer Lopez in Jersey Girl

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itriedicant@reddit

It's amazing how many people went to see that movie specifically to cheer when she died. And then she did. And nobody cheered. Because it was sad.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Jennifer Lopez films cause people to die out of boredom.

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OhFootballFriend@reddit

Gangs has my favorite movie opening ever. Goodfellas is close, but damn, with that music blasting and everyone getting hyped and they kick the door and just silence.

Still gets me.

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JerkinDepenisVance@reddit

And then follows a totally terrible fight scene. That letdown really killed the movie for me.

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Crusty-Watch3587@reddit

and some of the worst accents ever recorded on film.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

I had a tinge of cringe when I saw House of Gucci for the same reason…people with Italian accents usually don’t speak to each other in English…I don’t think…🤔

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OhFootballFriend@reddit

Terrible?

Some lady jumped off a roof and ate an ear.

I don’t follow…

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DBE113301@reddit

Charlie Sheen in Young Guns

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Sodamyte@reddit

Channing Tatum in the GI Joe sequel

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djsynrgy@reddit

Y'know.. I rather enjoyed that first one, but, the sequel? Yikes.

I think that was when I realized that The Rock being so dynamic in WWF/E precluded him from doing anything, ever, to make me see him as not-The-Rock. 😆

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

We all wanted to smellllllll what the Rock…was cookin’!

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Upstairs-Storm1006@reddit

The guy at the beginning of Iron Eagle 2

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burlco@reddit

Iron Eagle was an excellent ‘80’s action movie.

I believe it’s the 3rd or 4th Iron Eagle movie where they reveal that he didn’t die from being shot down.

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Aught_To@reddit

I just showed my kid the first one a couple weeks back. What a blast from action 80s

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kalitarios@reddit

Haven’t thought about that in a LONG time

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Babylon_Fallz@reddit

Pretty sure this was a contract or harassment dispute

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Sodamyte@reddit

Contract.. Tatum didnt want to do the movie at all, but he was obligated to. He asked the writers to kill him.

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MAILBOXHED@reddit

Janet Leigh

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ComeGetYourOzymans@reddit

This should be top comment. Killing a star who was ostensibly one of, if not the main draw to the film was unheard of when Psycho came out.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Alfred Hitchcock did not love women.

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mist_kaefer@reddit

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Samuel Jackson in The Other Guys.

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mndza@reddit

Also when the Rock dies in Doom. I remember watching it happening and said out loud…he’s not supposed to die. And then he says almost those exact words himself

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

Wasnt the old code “idkfm” and he wouldnt die?

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Colonel_Green@reddit

Also: Dwayne Johnson in Doom.

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Global-Jury8810@reddit

I completely forgot that Doom was also a movie (adds to watchlist)

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MistaRekt@reddit

Oh that is a good one. 'Aim for the bushes'.

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Srslywhyumadbro@reddit

I mean, there wasn't even an awning or anything...

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-piso_mojado-@reddit

Or a dumpster. Everyone knows dumpsters are filled with trash bags filled with shredded pillows and personal trampolines.

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sasssyrup@reddit

Or a moving dumpster aka trash truck always works too. But no. Just hard cement .

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DotNervous7513@reddit

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Nanocephalic@reddit

Brilliant way to set the tone.

I 100% didn’t see it coming, and was thinking something like “this is stupid! They are really gonna survive this because they went for the…. OH, THAT’S THE KIND OF MOVIE I’M WATCHING!”

Even the character arcs that came out of nowhere elevated the movie. Just like the 21 jump street movie (and 22 jump street) it was way better than it needed to be.

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Frunklin@reddit

Danson and Highsmith, free hotdogs for life!

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nr1988@reddit

No drinks

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Gravy_Sommelier@reddit

🎵 There goes my hero... 🎵

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djsynrgy@reddit

I used to desperately want those two to have their own movie.

I still do, but I used to, too.

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darksunshaman@reddit

Love you, Mitch!!!

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dudeshoes44@reddit

I laughed so hard at that part

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PlaneAd8667@reddit

Same. Every time, no matter how many times I watch it. It's never not as funny as the first time.

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throwawayhbgtop81@reddit

Yeah that was hilarious

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Josephthebear@reddit

Tom sizemore - Saving Private Ryan

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WookieMcspunion@reddit

Sean Bean in most of his movies lol

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KeepYaWhipTinted@reddit

Except MI1 where he just pretended to die

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Jermine1269@reddit

Are you thinking of beloved N64 game and intro of Pierce Brosnan's into the 007 franchise in the movie GoldenEye?

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KeepYaWhipTinted@reddit

Oh God you're right

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sasssyrup@reddit

His thing is dying, it’s pretty good. At this point if you made a movie or series and just let him live through the whole thing … the suspense would be everything!!!

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neckbeardsghost@reddit

Yes! I had to scroll way too far to see this one. He dies in everything. 😂

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

He survives in >!The Martian!<! Although he is >!forced to resign!<. :(

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CommissionPuzzled839@reddit

Add GoT to that list.

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valleysally@reddit

Steve Coogan in Tropic Thunder 💥

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Stevey1001@reddit

Janet Leigh

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wantsumcandi@reddit

Ryan Gosling. The Place Beyond the Pines. Right at the middle of the movie.

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daydreamersunion@reddit

Donald Sutherland in Beerfest

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ReggaeForPresident@reddit (OP)

Popo

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somethingsoddhere@reddit

That’s only because the director could deal with segal anymore

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CountVanillula@reddit

Tom Cruise in Edge of Tomorrow.

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HollowVoices@reddit

I mean... you're not wrong.

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Gutter_Snoop@reddit

Tom Cruise in "Oblivion"

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HollowVoices@reddit

Reign of Fire - Gerard Butler. 4 years before 300 came out.

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Sensitive-Advance-69@reddit

Julianne Moore in Children of Men - it was a complete shock to me the way it happens.

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ranaldo20@reddit

What a great flick. I need to watch it again. Been too long.

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Sean Bean 👑 - >!A lot of stuff!<\ Ryan Reynolds - >!Life!<\ Brad Pitt - >!Burn After Reading!<\ Ralph Fiennes - >!Harry Potter (Technically)!<\ David Prowse - >!Star Wars ("From a certain point of view.")!<\ William Shatner - >!Star Trek - Generations!< Bonus >!He dies twice!!<\

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sysmimas@reddit

Orlando Bloom in Black Hawk Down

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Respurated@reddit

James Franco - Alien: Covenant Dennis Haysbert - Navy Seals

Technicality: Brandon Lee - The Crow

Honorable mention: Micheal Biehn & Carrie Henn - Alien 3

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DirtRight9309@reddit

Anthony Edwards wasn’t a famous actor but though, that doesn’t count.

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djsynrgy@reddit

Revenge of The Nerds?!

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Bullshit. He was Meg Ryan's husband! 😉

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tkecanuck341@reddit

Michael Keaton in Jack Frost

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Bush-LeagueBushcraft@reddit

Does it count for Charlie Sheen in Wraith?

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Crans10@reddit

Terrence Stamp Red Planet

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pentax10@reddit

James Franco in Alien Covenant

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bakeranders@reddit

Take me hoooooommeeeeee, country roads, to the plaaaaaaaace I belonnnnnnnnng….

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djsynrgy@reddit

As a mega-sucker for that franchise, I was all-in for the various promos leading up to that movie, and they all seemed like his character was gonna be a big deal.

Haha, nope! 🫠

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Eric848448@reddit

Great fucking film.

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Zogonzo@reddit

Sean Bean

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marbotty@reddit

I like that you don’t even have to specify which film

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boxcarking@reddit

Ben Affleck in Smokin' Aces

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LaFlamaBlancakfp@reddit

Sean Bean in LOTR.

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sal_pair_of_dice@reddit

Emilio Estevez in Mission: Impossible

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rowman_nahledge@reddit

Hasta la pasta

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KeepRightXcept2Pass@reddit

Don’t get any on ya

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rowman_nahledge@reddit

I still quote his lines to this day…nobody ever gets it. Hasta lasagna, dont any on ya. Insane lol

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KeepRightXcept2Pass@reddit

Red light … green light!

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x7leafcloverx@reddit

Also Kerry Russell in M:i:lll

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FriskyDingoOMG@reddit

Ben Affleck: Triple Frontier

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BeefModeTaco@reddit

I always loved Executive Decision for that, honestly.

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Goodnight_lemro@reddit

Only Steven Seagal movie that showed him the respect he was due.

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Electrical-Bacon-81@reddit

Sid hague

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Geechie-Don@reddit

Sam L Jackson, Kong: Skull Island

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Revolutionary-Ad3648@reddit

Brad Pitt in Dead Pool 2?

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drimmie@reddit

Will Ferrell in the Austin Powers movies

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Lancimus@reddit

It's starting to smell a bit like almonds.

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drimmie@reddit

I Fear It Might Be Gangrenous

😂 😂 😂

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fentown@reddit

I'm gonna try to stand on it

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SignatureDry3931@reddit

Bill Cosby in Ghost Dad

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The_Goondocks@reddit

Bill Cosby in Ghost Dad

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jackieballz@reddit

Samuel L Jackson in deep blue sea

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Tony_Tanna78@reddit

Bruce Willis in Billy Bathgate.

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Late_Being_7730@reddit

Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense

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The_Goondocks@reddit

Sam Jackson in Deep Blue Sea

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Redeyebandit87@reddit

I still remember my dad coming home from the theater and being pissed about Execution Decision lol.

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ragedrager@reddit

Samuel Jackson in Deep Blue Sea

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slowdaygames@reddit

Brittany Spears at the beginning of Austin Powers in Goldmember.

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1Bumblestinker@reddit

Bryan Cranston in Godzilla 2014.

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Sunday_Schoolz@reddit

Best Steven Seagal movie.

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small___potatoes@reddit

Christopher Lee in Revenge of the Sith

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newenglandredshirt@reddit

Drew Barrymore in Scream. I was (am) a huge Drew Barrymore fan and saw that movie just to see her. The movie was awesome, but I'm still salty that she died in the first scene.

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