From a Brit who left 5 years ago for South America, having a little homesick wobble - tell me something funny / interesting from back home, something only another Brit would understand, or, say anything at all?

Nothing particularly interesting here, but i'll give you a few fairly British entries from my "mind diary" this week: A lady walked into me at the shop. Not my fault at all, and so I of course opened with an apology, and between us we said sorry a further four times. I decided to make small talk with an old acquaintance. It was awkward for us both and we ended with an unspoken yet obvious agreement to smile and carry on walking next time, or avoid each other if possible. It's the polite thing to do. Took the family to the park. It was cold and wet enough for me to express a surprised comment on the fact, despite this being my 36th November spent in southern England. Dinner plans were immediately altered by the smell emanating from the local chip shop, the kids are excited but their mum seemed almost disheartened as she sighed "we have Bolognese in the fridge". Driving home from work with a colleague. We both expressed mild disgust with the houses already displaying Christmas decorations. After dropping him off I turned on the radio and sang along to "Fairy tale of New York" before arriving home to find my girlfriend putting the Christmas tree up.