How to deal with dream job rejection? :(

Posted by majkkali@reddit | sysadmin | View on Reddit | 87 comments

Feeling down in the dumps because after 2 months of really intensive recruitment process I got rejected from my dream job. In September I was contacted on LinkedIn by a recruiter saying that an American tech company is interested in my profile. At first I thought it was a scam because they were offering almost $180k a year, fully remote and I could work from anywhere in the world as the job is more project focused. The role was supposed to be a Senior IT Engineer. But I did my due diligence and they are a legit company and I found out that wages in the US are indeed that much higher than here in the UK. I didn't think much of it but agreed to an interview. It went exceptionally well and I was asked to do a first test project for that company. I did it, they loved it and they paid me via paypal as promised (they pay every candidate). Then they set up a much more extensive second test project which I had to complete in 10 days. I did it and I was extremely proud of it. They paid me for it as well. I spent soooo much time on it. I submitted it within the required timeframes and I was patiently awaiting their response. I now really wanted this job and from the online reviewers that company is fantastic to work for so I had high hopes. They kept emailing me every couple of days apologizing for the delay and saying that they should be finished with the project review shortly. Finally yesterday I got a heart-breaking response saying that unfortunately they will not be proceeding to the 4th (and I assume last) stage which was supposed to be a 2 hour interview with the team... :( What's even worse is that they didn't provide any feedback (be it positive or negative, apparently that's their recruitment policy) so I don't even know what I did wrong and what I should improve. Such a strange thing to do. I'm absolutely gutted. This was my future and a way to finally make it big in IT. I don't feel like speaking to anyone since yesterday and just feel like my dreams have been crushed. I don't think I'll ever be approached with such a brilliant job offer again in the future so I'm absolutely devastated. I am currently employed by a different company but the money isn't great and they lied to me regarding the hybrid working model (after 2 months they said I now need to be in 4 or 5 days a week instead of 2 as they initially agreed to, keep in mind I live 2 hours away from the office so it's taking a huge toll on me) so I'm debating leaving the job and thought this could be my golden ticket. Well, it wasn't... That being said, I guess I'm just curious how you guys deal with rejection?

Reply to Post

87 Comments

[-]

vCentered@reddit

Two months *Jesus*

[-]

damienbarrett@reddit

Is it possible that this job never actually existed and they were just using it as an less expensive way to get quality projects completed?

[-]

etzel1200@reddit

I guess it depends how well they paid him. Probably he wasn’t their first choice and they proceeded with that. That’s why the delays and then rejection. Or it was work visa/tax stuff, but you’d think they know that recruiting internationally.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

They paid $150 for the first project and $575 for the second one.

[-]

100GbNET@reddit

How much per hour did that come out to?

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Well the project took like 30-40 hours so you can do the math.

[-]

bonsai@reddit

Ouch... Yeah that $180k job never existed. They just got a project done for minimum wage. You saw dollar signs and thought this was your dream job but really you dodged a bullet and learned a cheap lesson. Keep grinding, from your example sounds like you know what you're doing. Something will come along, maybe even for $180k some day, but don't use this as your salary benchmark because really sounds like it wasn't real

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

But they sent that very same project to other candidates so what benefit would they have if everyone just submitted same thing, I don’t get it.

[-]

llDemonll@reddit

They submit that to 15 people, take the best one. $7500 is far cheaper than the consulting quotes they got for it I’m sure.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

I think you’re right.

[-]

SirLoremIpsum@reddit

> > They paid $150 for the first project and $575 for the second one. > Well the project took like 30-40 hours so you can do the math. Yeah....

[-]

PineappleOnPizzaWins@reddit

The job didn't exist :/. They paid you so that they could legally use your work when you were done if you ever made a fuss about it.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Really? How are you so sure? Does it happen often with US companies?

[-]

PineappleOnPizzaWins@reddit

Because US companies basically never hire overseas without a local office in that nation - the legal complications around tax, workers rights, and compliance regulations are just insane. If it was legit you'd have been approached as an independent contractor (still complex but a little more believable) or their local office in your country who would actually be your employer and handle all the details for hiring internationally.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

They do have an entity in the UK though and I was approached by a recruited based in the UK.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

Always a risk that's changed more than they realized since last time.

[-]

MrSanford@reddit

I wish more people understood how common this is. I've even had this at in person technical interviews. A company had me lay out a how I would setup a VPN for a DR test and one of the engineers literally ran out of the room to implement it after I was done. I ended up working there though.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

You reckon? First project involved essentially writing a couple pages long essay explaining a large project I did within the last couple of years so they couldn't have really used that. But come to think of it - the second project involved me building an entire Entra environment (and Azure VM) using Terraform for them and they asked to submit all the test account credentials to the environment as well as the the Terraform repository so that they can not only check everything but also try to rebuild it (just using different Azure credentials by changing the .tfvars.example file that I included etc) which I thought was a bit weird. Could they use it as their own project do you think? But then how come it took them so long to check everything?

[-]

MrSanford@reddit

Looks like you did a project on the cheap.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Wouldn’t they have their own experienced engineers who could have done it for them for free though?

[-]

Indecisive-one@reddit

Are you positive you were actually speaking to the company you thought you were?

[-]

NoSirPineapple@reddit

Next time leave Easter eggs in there and back doors home

[-]

readyloaddollarsign@reddit

i mean ... sucks you had to go through this, but really ... if it is a scam, your "mental income" just shot up a few hundred thou .. :-). Bullet dodged.

[-]

MrSanford@reddit

Apparently not.

[-]

BreathDeeply101@reddit

Welcome to the modern business world where ethics and morals don't matter as much the bottom line and shareholder value. :(

[-]

OneSeaworthiness7768@reddit

>they asked to submit all the test account credentials to the environment What environment? Yours or theirs? That’s crazy

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

The test environment I created for them under trial licenses.

[-]

WaldoOU812@reddit

Yeah; I definitely agree with the others. You were being used, sorry. Fwiw, they sound like a bunch of a-holes and it also sounds like you dodged a bullet.

[-]

McAUTS@reddit

Don't feel bad. Your initial gut feeling was right. They were (ab)using you and other candidates. It's a shame.

[-]

nikdahl@reddit

I had a company do this to me as well. As an engineer, if my boss asked me to do this sort of thing in an interview, I would tell them to go fuck themselves, and personally telephone every candidate that applies to inform them of the scheme. Such an unethical, shitty thing to do.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

> how I would setup a VPN for a DR test Ah, yes, the one off setup for a test to ensure you're not ready for the real thing... that alone would've been a red flag for me.

[-]

MrSanford@reddit

It was more about setting up policy based routing so a couple PC's would use the VPN tunnel to the DR network instead of the tunnel to production. They wanted someone familiar with Secure Computing Sidewider Firewalls so it made sense at the time. Place wasn't a bad work environment at all.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

Ah. I just assume the worst of people on DR... best I heard many years ago was "clone the running production vm to the DR site to switch to it"

[-]

MyWorkIsNotYetDone@reddit

Yeah, this just sounds like a huge scam...

[-]

Hotdog453@reddit

Name the company.

[-]

sgt_Berbatov@reddit

What is meant for you won't go by you. The good and the bad.

[-]

nappycappy@reddit

how to deal with rejection with no feedback? dream job or not, i take it, give myself a little bit of time to try to figure out what could've gone wrong and then once i realize it is probably not me i accept it and move on. i mean even if it is me then there's nothing i can do about the decision they just made. so just accept it and try to do better on the next one and move on. i have a buddy that is trying to find a job. he just got let go and he's been on the hunt for a new job for the last couple weeks. each day he gets rejections after rejections. the shit is demoralizing and can drive you to some pretty bad depression if you let it. i keep telling him, don't dwell on it. take a couple minutes to let it sink in, accept that it happened, and then just keep going. i don't believe in begging anyone to change their mind when it comes to work so dream job or not, it's their loss so just move on. if you are hating your current job, just start looking and find your exit. no need to dwell on what you should do since it's pretty obvious.

[-]

Drakoolya@reddit

That company sounds so unethical it's not even funny. Absolute garbage humans.

[-]

F7xWr@reddit

You know dreams arent real right? *I know dreams are actually real because of electricity, but thats not what i mean.

[-]

ls--lah@reddit

As someone who got a job they really, really wanted... The grass isn't always greener. Read literally any blog by ex-Microsoft staff for instance.

[-]

OneSeaworthiness7768@reddit

I’m gonna be honest that does not sound like a real job interview process that you went through at all. Never heard of a legit company compensating anybody via PayPal.

[-]

Vaile23@reddit

I had an interview with a very well known browser company that paid for a written interview via PayPal. I thought it was weird too but I wasn’t complaining

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

I mean, the people I exchanged emails with (recruiters) had legitimate email addresses of that company. Their LinkedIn accounts checked out, website and glassdoor reviews legit as well. So I don’t think it was that. I do, however, now ponder if they just simply used me for cheap project work. Perhaps their engineers are too busy and they tried to offload some work. Who knows. Devastating either way.

[-]

stuckinPA@reddit

I know this is hard. I used to get sad and depressed after a rejection. And nervous before interviews. My best friend fixed that for me. He asked "What did I actually lose? You didn't have the job going in to the interview. You didn't lose anything. Maybe a few hours of your time and feeding the parking meter." That changed my whole outlook. Now I consider an interview as a discussion between peers.

[-]

hondas3xual@reddit

This really sounds like a scam to get qualified people working on products, and that them go right after they finish. It might be an actual business; just a scam that is completely legal. The same with suicide hotlines.

[-]

sonicc_boom@reddit

A legit big company paying you via PayPal for "test" projects"? Sounds very scammy to me.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Is this not a common practice in US companies? I was led to believe that. In Europe it’s not unheard of though very rare.

[-]

zzzpoohzzz@reddit

I have literally never heard of this. That's sketchy as hell.

[-]

Narrow_Victory1262@reddit

paid via paypal. red flag.

[-]

bukkithedd@reddit

How I deal with rejection? Simple... By never letting what you DON'T have get in the way of seeing what you DO have. A lot of people do that, for some reason. I get that we all want something better for ourselves, but losing sight of what you have by always letting what you don't have overshadow and blind you to it is unwise. So you lost THIS opportunity. Sure, have a mope about it for a few, then pick yourself up and move on. You say that your current company lied to you about WFH and the pay isn't great. There's your new goal: Get out of that situation and into one that's better. Never spend energy on being devastated about things you cannot control. You gave it your very best shot, and sometimes things just don't work out. Dust yourself off, get back on your feet, and move on. Remember the feeling and use it to fuel further growth and expand your skillset.

[-]

readyloaddollarsign@reddit

> By never letting what you DON'T have get in the way of seeing what you DO have. yah, apostle Paul kinda nailed this one: "1 Timothy 6:6-8: But godliness *with contentment* is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it."

[-]

fishypianist@reddit

Based on what you wrote, I was applying for the same job and also got the rejection email yesterday. I wonder how many of us were in the process at the same time. For me it also hit hard. I have been rejected hundreds if not thousands of times over my career. My best advice, treat it like a loss, because that is what it is, the loss of a future you were building up in your head. The fact that it took 2 months to get to this stage made it harder for me. Take time and feel your feelings. Do the basics, eat, drink water, plan something fun for the weekend, reach out to someone to talk to if you can. When your ready, look back over the project and see where you struggled and learn from it. Also keep in mind that someone may have spent every waking moment of those 10 days building out that project and went so over the top that they provided something so polished it could be drop right into production. I don't normally get emotional over being rejected for jobs, but this one stung. I am taking this as a kick in the ass to look for similar positions as I have gotten comfortable where I am at. The benefit that I most looked forward too was not having core hours of work. That is where I will be focusing on for my future job searches. Good luck in your search, the right opportunity will pop up eventually.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Oh wow, thanks for the kind words. May I message you privately to ask some questions?

[-]

readyloaddollarsign@reddit

also, remember that your job is not who you are. It's what you trade time for on this planet, to eat, drink, clothe, and house yourself and your loved ones. "Psychic income" means a lot, as does "being late for home."

[-]

uptimefordays@reddit

It sucks, I interviewed for staff level positions with HashiCorp and Puppet a few years ago that would have paid similarly life changing amounts of money (at the time) and was crushed when I didn't get either. Unfortunately jobs in big tech and big tech adjacent companies are very competitive, especially the remote ones where you're not just competing with your local labor market but the global engineering market! I know it sucks getting rejected but you should be very proud of getting as far as you did, a lot of people never make it beyond their local market. As much as it sucks, if your goal is to work for a major company keep your eye on the goal and keep trying.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Thanks a lot for the kind words

[-]

uptimefordays@reddit

Of course! There will be other opportunities! You might consider reaching out to your recruiter on LinkedIn to see if they can provide feedback. It’s not common but you may get some additional context.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

Yeah I already emailed them, still waiting for a reply.

[-]

uptimefordays@reddit

A lot of times companies won’t provide feedback as it opens them up to lawsuits but sometimes you get lucky.

[-]

she-happiest@reddit

That really sucks, and anyone would feel crushed after putting that much work in. But getting that far means you’re absolutely capable of landing something just as good. Rejection at this level isn’t about you doing something wrong, it’s usually internal stuff you’ll never see. Take a breather, feel it, then keep going. You’re closer than you think.

[-]

fghxa@reddit

"I don't think I'll ever be approached with such a brilliant job offer again in the future so I'm absolutely devastated." I was once rejected for a position I applied in a very similar situation. I applied 3 more times in the coming years after being rejected and finally got the job 6 years later, during my 4th attempt. I left the job 2 years afterjjoining to move to a better one in every single aspect (better pay, better environment, full remote).

[-]

BadSausageFactory@reddit

three interviews and ghost is pretty normal, but if you got paid for your time then you really don't have anything to complain about. things I have seen happen to people, in this sub and IRL \-give away free labor for the 'interview' \-quit your existing job for a promise \-lose your existing job because the new employer called references and still not get hired \-move somewhere and get cut after only a few months \-take the job and realize they hate it there you are fine

[-]

BreathDeeply101@reddit

Give yourself some time to "grieve," then keep swinging. [That's life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCENTf_LWYA)

[-]

iamLisppy@reddit

Scam. You got played.

[-]

YSFKJDGS@reddit

Dude you shouldn't be worried about rejection, you should be worried about being naive. That was a scam and there was no job, you just did some contractor work basically under the table.

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

The company is legit though? And the recruiters who contacted me have legitimate LinkedIn accounts, email addresses, etc. So how would that be a scam? Unless you mean that they are using potential candidates as cheap project work, then yeah, nasty behaviour indeed :/

[-]

Anonymous1Ninja@reddit

of course this is from the UK

[-]

majkkali@reddit (OP)

What do you mean?

[-]

Jaki_Shell@reddit

Same way as rejection in dating, keep swiping right.. Someone will make a mistake and hire us eventually.

[-]

yacha123@reddit

Almost spit out my coffee. Last sentence is pure bliss.

[-]

KaneNyx@reddit

2 months of that would have me frustrated too. But hey, you got paid for the test at least some companies don't even do that.

[-]

AmiDeplorabilis@reddit

Too many job postings today are simply fillers for recruiters: they make work for themselves, lead people on through an interview and recruiting process, then thank you for playing when they're done exhibiting their skills. Pat yourself on the back because you probably DID acquit yourself very well. Good luck!

[-]

kerosene31@reddit

As others have said, could be a scam to get work done. I wouldn't put anything by employers today. If not, the thing is, sometimes someone just a little better than you shows up. Early in my career I was in line for an internal promotion. Nobody else internally was close to it. They post it publically (public sector, they have to), and someone shows up who has exact experience in the role, willing to work for the same $$$. You made it deep in the process. It sucks, but it happens. Pick yourself up and move on to another one. Again, the more I read this, the more it sounds like it was never real. 180k a year is a LOT for any job, especially fully remote. I can tell you, nothing in America is that good right now. The thing is, keep an eye out and see if they post it again in a month or two. Wouldn't shock me one bit.

[-]

TheLightingGuy@reddit

Current employer is extremely competitive, I've heard of people that have applied multiple times before ending up here. Meanwhile I was just rage applying to any job that was remotely close to my experience and I ended up here somehow.

[-]

NaturalIdiocy@reddit

Regarding the interviews, I agree that it looks like they used this as a means to get a project built. You mentioned they paid; hopefully it was at least an amount worth your time and expertise. Regarding rejection, I agree with the other statement that this being the "dream" job is very speculative, assuming that the work culture is actually healthy there. There is always the chance that, just like your current position, after a month or two the rug pull happens and it is nothing as promised. I say take a day or two to kick a rock or two and do something to decompress (if kicking said rocks doesn't), then day three start submitting again to new places.

[-]

Buddy_Kryyst@reddit

Not saying this was definitely a scam, but this tactic has certainly been used before as a way to get free to cheap work done.

[-]

Ssakaa@reddit

Life lesson to wrap your own expectations/hopes/dreams around. Your dream job is the one that meets everything else *and* hires you. This looked a bit like it at the surface, but wasn't your dream job.

[-]

Carter-SysAdmin@reddit

just to keep things on the level -- "finally make it big in IT" - that's a dream to be careful with.

[-]

mf9769@reddit

Several years ago, I interviewed for an IT position with a company that I'm a regular customer of. Like, not just regular. I mean I have a monthly subscription, purchase extra and use their product for basically 3-4 hours daily. Made it through 3 rounds of interviews before I was rejected because another candidate was more qualified. I moved on, because yeah, it would have been great working for a business I'm personally a big fan of, but at the end of the day, its a job. I still use the product. Still love the product. And if another role opens up with them, I'll apply again as now I'm certainly a better fit then I was then.

[-]

Library_IT_guy@reddit

Move on man. I had a series of interviews for a job that fit me like a fucking glove, but they chose someone with less experience that they could pay less. I think that's a big mistake given what the job entails, but hey, that's up to them. Did it sting a little? Yeah. I mean this was like 50% more pay than I make now doing the same job, and I would have been perfect for the role. Interviews went great. Spent time and money doing both remote and in person interviews. But it happens. Their loss, I'll keep looking. Of course, I say this but I'm also already employed. It stings a LOT more when you don't have a decent job already. I always thought that trying to find a new job when you're already in a good job was easier... but turns out, that companies often prefer unemployed desperate people that they can take advantage of.

[-]

oo11xa@reddit

if it seems too good to be true.. it is. looks like you've been had for some cheap project work

[-]

jeebidy@reddit

It’s such an ego blow and I totally understand how you feel. Several years back, I was rejected on the final round of a “dream job”. Salary was amazing and it was for a major tech company. It was pretty devastating. I eventually found a different role and eventually landed in what I consider a dream job currently. Or at least a job I highly enjoy. I talk to coworkers who came from the job that turned me down and it sounds miserable. That department has had round after round of layoffs. It actually worked out better in the end. Those jobs are plentiful and it’s all a numbers game. Keep rolling those dice and don’t get discouraged.

[-]

Practical_Young6058@reddit

Don't be too hard on yourself, lots of people are struggling in IT right now. I'm one to think all things happen for a reason. I was struggling with finding a job before my current gig, I was rejected multiple times but kept my head down and kept applying until I got what was right for me. Try to think about the silver-linings, one company was interested in your profile, imagine the interest you'd get from companies you send your resume to. And hey, if they didn't make you sign an NDA you can use those awesome projects in your portfolio!

[-]

Evening-Page-9737@reddit

> This was my future and a way to finally make it big in IT Just one of them, friend. I had to spend 6 months job hunting this year after a sudden job loss and the difference in a job search when you're unemployed vs keeping an eye out while you are is very unpleasant.

[-]

GarGonDie@reddit

Like everything else, turn the page and continue with your life and looking for what you want.

[-]

Vektor0@reddit

There's no way to know if this was your "dream job" or not because you haven't worked there. For all you know, your boss would've been terrible, your coworkers would've been terrible, the environment would've been terrible, etc. You're psyching yourself out over possibly nothing. It was just a job. You will find another one.

[-]

StuckinSuFu@reddit

You are still employed and can keep looking while making money. Just realize many people are OUT of a job and getting rejection letters. Thats all I can add. Its why its always important to keep "irons in the fire" so to speak. Keep applying to new, better jobs and youll eventually catch one.