ULPT request - breaking a phone
Posted by PinkAlienGamer@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 44 comments
My mother in law broke her phone in a way that it now only works on speaker phone. And she loves LOUDLY arguing with her daughter. We took the phone to a specialist and they say it is not reparable. She refuses to use headphones (we bought her 2 pairs and she had some before that too). We bought her a NEW PHONE that she refuses to use cause of some bullshit excuse. We have a small two room apartment and no way of leaving for at least half a year. Please help.
So. I want to break her phone. It can be permament, software, hardware. Whatever. I have basic IT skills jsut tell me how. I prefer to break it so that she can still use it without calls or that maybe just the speaker is broken? Preferably in a way that she cant prove it was me (she's not good at tech so it will not be that hard unless I smash it with a hammer). I have access to her phone sometimes, she goes out to smoke a lot but not for very long times. (She leaves her phone behind, usually ringing loudly, thats also lovely).
DiligentCockroach700@reddit
Get one of those peizo gas stove lighter things that uses a spark. Connect a length of wire to the electrode, wrap it round the phone a few times and click the thing half a dozen times. That should brick it.
IJustAteABaguette@reddit
you can puncture the microphone with something? Or speakers. Depends on the phone, but you can probably poke and prod with a thin metal object and break something like those.
Chance-Work4911@reddit
A very delicately applied bit of clear super glue in the mic and/or speaker holes would likely render it useless for calls but still perfectly fine to use Bluetooth devices for calls and tv/music. Might need a syringe-type applicator too to make sure none of it gets on the edges to show your handiwork.
if_im_not_back_in_5@reddit
Most modern phones have multiple microphones around the shell, so it might be hard doing this.
wa019@reddit
OP use the other methods first and if they don’t work then do this, if she brings the phone to a technician and you put too much glue they will easily find out.
INeedAllOfTheCats@reddit
Came here to say this!
PinkAlienGamer@reddit (OP)
I like that! I can probably try to do that quick with a paper clip. It's a rather old smartphone so it shouldn't be that tough...
booksandcheesedip@reddit
Try a sewing needle instead
Limp_Service_2320@reddit
Like a lobotomy, turning a smart phone dumb.
bismuth17@reddit
Put a drop of super glue in the charge port every now and then. Eventually it'll get harder and harder to plug in the charger and it'll run out of battery. If anyone investigates it'll just look like hardened lint, which is a common problem.
cmdr1337@reddit
Battery operated fly zapping tennis racket.
DietCoke_repeat@reddit
Ohhhhhh. This is so so good.
kev1059@reddit
Take it for 30 minutes
Plug it into a, computer, download a bootloader to it, and wipe all files
Also you could just factory reset the phone, or enter the wrong password so many times or remote wipe it
You don't have to completely brick it but you can easily fuck up the software pretty easily
Skeggy-@reddit
USB killer. Just plug it in and unplug.
glorificent@reddit
remind me to never ever ever cross Skeggy… this guy always has the answer!
Superslim-Anoniem@reddit
Usb killer costs a whole bunch for a thing that will only be used once, and a microwave is... sketchy... to say the least for the battery.
Skeggy-@reddit
Microwave is fine. It’s not going to blow up your house.
As for the usb killer. It has plenty of unethical uses you can have on hand for later. It’s just a tool. Same as keeping an angle grinder or impact wrench in the garage e
Superslim-Anoniem@reddit
I'm more concerned about a fire or off gassing of the battery, would not want that stuff in the kitchen.
Skeggy-@reddit
Touché. Yeah, doesn’t help keep the microwave food safe.
Lucentdepths@reddit
You're overthinking it. Just steal it. turn it off so it's not tracked, and throw it in the trash at a store. Deny everything. Easier to pull off if you can manage to do it while you're out shopping together, if she leaves her phone in the car. "Didn't you have it in your hand when we went inside? I'm pretty sure I remember you holding it. "
If you just do it when she comes home you run the risk of her having used it in the car on the way home, in which case she'll know it must still be in the house.
Also physically break it before tossing so if someone finds it they can't turn it on and return it lol.
TheErik6891@reddit
This. No need to Rube Goldberg the operation. Grab the phone, turn it off, toss it. Shrug and say "I've no clue where you put your damned phone.."
BrilliantDishevelled@reddit
Salt in the charging port. Salt in any hole
TheErik6891@reddit
Giggity!
71-lb@reddit
1st thought return that new phone . This is not behavior to reward.
If u ever provide phone try to get the most basic ph. Like if family dollar still sells track phones . Or prepaid through boost but maybe order the ph direct from Amazon or any website . Look for rebuilt very old early smartphones that are not really smart .
Take that ph to best buy to have it made over without speaker or or microphone . Get the tiniest most basic Bluetooth/ wifi ancient ph.
That might work.
MisChef@reddit
Jitterbug
booyah_smoke@reddit
Just take a needle and pop the speaker. No more sound and damn near impossible to detect
Captain_Wag@reddit
Just fill her storage to capacity with useless files that she won't be able to find because she's a boomer. When her phone has 1KB of storage left, it will turn to shit. Apps will crash/not open, she wont be able to take pictures or download, texts might not send, and eventually it'll get super slow and won't be able to update. That's when you swoop in and suggest she uses the new phone. Or you could just put her phone under water for a minute or two.
wa019@reddit
I recommend those SD card testing apps, test the internal storage and don’t delete the files, hide the app too
TwilightReader100@reddit
I'd just take the SIM card out and come up with some bullshit excuse about what "No SIM" (or whatever it says once the SIM card is gone) means. That actually what I did with my old phone anyways. I keep it for on-wifi use at my house and my parents house and then really only use my new phone when I'm out. It's going to help the battery on the new phone last until I'm allowed to get my next new phone by my phone company.
wa019@reddit
Go into developer settings (you can find tutorial online) and change all animations to the slowest possible. This will not break the phone but drive her crazy
dudersaurus-rex@reddit
thats a good one... when she complains, say something about the phone being too old... and how it was already mostly broken before... it might work
Mysterious-Cake-7525@reddit
Can you put a magnet w/ 30 lbs of pull on it for a while?
Superslim-Anoniem@reddit
Probably not gonna do much to a modern ssd, unfortunately
Background_actor412@reddit
Like a fishing magnet? They're around $13.
Background_actor412@reddit
Get a syringe and inject water into the charging port.
swingsetlife@reddit
yank the sim card?
BikeCookie@reddit
Start doing what she does but louder.
Hairflipgiggle@reddit
Magnets?
taro354@reddit
Drop it in water while she’s asleep. Dry it off real good and put it back.
V8FTW@reddit
Alternative (or in addition) to poking something into the mic and speaker, you might be able to mess up the charging port if you scrape around inside it with a thin screwdriver. Once the battery goes flat, no way to recharge it.
Annual_Government_80@reddit
If it is completely broken she will be forced to use the new phone
ACynicalOptomist@reddit
On speaker.
VestedDeveloper@reddit
Umm... water?
vonhoother@reddit
Boiling water. Put the kettle on, drop the phone in a good-sized mug, fill it up. Modern phones are fairly water resistant but they can't take heat.