ULPT Request how do you get someone to stop knocking on your door
Posted by Valuable-Road-4550@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 230 comments
I've had people knocking at my door and ringing my doorbell at 4 in the morning. They don't leave until they speak to someone in the household. Usually it's for the dumbest reasons such as,
"Is ____ home? She told me she was at this apartment complex but didn't say what room she was at." (she didn't live at my apartment and the dude did not take the hint to go away)
"Have you seen this person? They wandered off and may have come to this area." (The inebriated person in question was literally on the other side of the apartment complex in the hallway and they had no need to talk to a sleep deprived goblin such as myself)
If I hear a person who won't stop knocking and won't take a hint, how do I get them to leave and deal with their problems on their own? I'm so annoyed.
aspie_electrician@reddit
Ringing the doorbell?
Put two pieces of copper tape on the doorbell, with a small gap in-between. Connect to electric fence transformer.
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
Speedrunning going to prison (ANY%)
aspie_electrician@reddit
At. Lest I didn’t say to connect to mains voltage
experiencemepls@reddit
I would have shot through the door by now after repeat visits , get a camera and let them know if they keep on you will hurt them
Adventurous-Worker42@reddit
A sign on your door that states "smile, you are on video" or something similar. It's cut down significantly on sales people at our house. If someone is casing your place, they will avoid video.
Otherwise, get a remote controlled spray bottle, load with pee... get a trigger button next to the bed.
amafalet@reddit
Dye, not pee.
No_Report_4781@reddit
Hot lemonade
wildkitten24@reddit
Glitter
jmdaltonjr@reddit
Disconnect the doorbell
EverythingVaries@reddit
Stop answering
coldreindeer1978@reddit
I don’t ever answer my door when I am not expecting someone. I don’t have much company and everyone I know also knows to contact me first.
Put a sign on door 🚪 do not knock/ ring bell . No need to explain why like working or baby sleeping just a simple DO NOT…
Or have a door bell that makes a shotgun sound for the bell. I don’t know how people think things like that are ok. Sorry you go through this. Good luck 🍀
CommunityGlittering2@reddit
in Texas we shoot first answer second.
AffectionateMarch394@reddit
Scream "fuck off" through the door
Dump stuff out a window onto them
Scream "you got my fucking meth bitch" when they knock
Play the sound of a shotgun cocking from your side of the door
Pretend to call 911 "hi I need the police please, at X address"
Is it the same people or different people?
alissafransen@reddit
Let some water run under the fire and put electrical wires in it
Tasty-Adhesiveness66@reddit
do you have a peephole on your door, if yes, remove the peephole and insert a tube connected to a bottle filled to the brim with a mix of liquid ass and deer scent and when you hear knocking in the middle of the night, press the bottle and squirt some on the annoyance
RazPie@reddit
Put an old pair of work boots outside the door
bachyboy@reddit
Hang a "BEWARE OF ATTACK DOG" on your door before you go to bed at night.
bumbumboleji@reddit
Reinforce your door.
Start telling people a BS rumour in your building you are undercover or with some gang.
Act psycho a bit in the hall.
Pee on your own door to establish dominance.
Skeggy-@reddit
If they’re not leaving until someone answers they’re looking for an unoccupied unit to enter.
Phone speaker up to the door with a shotgun racking sound followed by shouting “honey, call the police armed intruders”. Should at least keep them from going to your door again.
glemits@reddit
A recording of a shotgun racking is my first thought for anything like this.
Skeggy-@reddit
I just grab the actual one by the door but I figure most people don’t have one chilling there lol.
Dawnvourer@reddit
What shotgun model do you have? Asking for a friend.
(If you'd rather not answer that's totally fine btw!)
VoidWalker4Lyfe@reddit
Can never go wrong with a Mossberg Maverick 88
Dawnvourer@reddit
Thank you!
VoidWalker4Lyfe@reddit
No problem. I have one with three different barrels for different applications. They're inexpensive, but they run smooth, are reliable, and fun to shoot. You can order one on palmetto State armory for less than $300
Dawnvourer@reddit
Thank you, really appreciate the link!
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
I'm not the person you're asking, but Mossberg 590A1. Spine safety instead of cross-bolt so there's less chance of firing in a high-stress situation.
redthump@reddit
Mossberg is my goto home defense shotgun. Better pistol grips and less recoil.
Dawnvourer@reddit
Thank you!
Laserdollarz@reddit
One downside to my doorside fireplace poker is that it is silent
Tranquil_Dohrnii@reddit
Not if you start hitting it on the ground.
dafrog84@reddit
Murder by fire poker seems to be more of a domestic crime. I went looking to see how many home Invaders get wacked with one of these bad boys. Turns out wife, a neighbor, i think i seen someone used one on their own parent. Scary.
Skeggy-@reddit
Gotta make the racking sound manually with some bass in your voice.
thomasanderson123412@reddit
Chk-chk!
Aiku@reddit
Or one of two Dobermans barking loudly.
thx1138a@reddit
Which one or do they alternate?
Aiku@reddit
Good catch :)
"One or two"
rice126@reddit
Why just a recording? Get a shotgun and rack it. The unmistakeable sound of “yea I fucked up”, it is pure poetry
TurtleStepper@reddit
...Just get a shotgun.
Natural_Sky638@reddit
Me too.... already have a downloaded version on my phone!!
jimmybilly100@reddit
"Hey, I tell ya what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!"
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
OP has never heard of a home invasion
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
Do NOT open your door to someone you don't know in the middle of the night. It sounds like they are there to keep you talking for some reason. And it's not a good reason. And you keep falling for it.
You're just setting yourself up for something bad.
Obviously you live in a fairly safe place if you aren't worried about a home invasion, but your chances are never zero if you open that door.
Tell them to stop knocking or you're going to call the cops.
NeartAgusOnoir@reddit
Rig a can of bear spray a few feet above the door….build a switch that will press the bear spray, and run the wire into the corner of your door. Mount the switch next to your door. Mount a sign on your door that says “beware of bears spraying”. When they knock at 4am flip the switch and watch their beards get covered in bear spray.
Another option is to remove the eye hole and replay it with a nozzle attached to said bear spray. They knock you spray.
Soggy-Type-1704@reddit
This sounds like a mental health issue more than anything else.
If this is not the case and you are genuinely having people knock on your door repeatedly in the middle of the night don’t open the door. Call the police.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
No, this does happen in a lot of areas. There's plenty of places that have dysfunctional people disturbing neighbors in the middle of the night.
All it takes is one bad neighbor moving in, and they bring a herd of people with them.
I had a neighbor bang on my door at midnight demanding a cigarette. And she had some weird wasted guy with her. She always had some weird wasted guy she was trying to con.
This is believable to me.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
Or extreme naivety.
GNav@reddit
Get a recording of a dog barking, and play it dumb loud when they knock while throwing a tennis ball at the door to simulate a dog trying to break through the door.
user3won_u@reddit
I would say just a dog barking and a loud baby crying
GNav@reddit
No way a baby. That's a 50/50. It may put off some burglers, but others may think "perfect! They'll protect the baby and not care about their stuff" some Harry Potter type stuff
DogsNCoffeeAddict@reddit
Nah better that if OP is not visible OP throws self at door like she is a behemoth dog
SoleInvictus@reddit
Yeah, and be sure to slam the upper part of the door to confuse the fuck out of them.
ChooksChick@reddit
That's what my dog does.
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
OP has gotta be a dude.
Most women aren’t looking through the peep hole and answering the door at 4am for a stranger.
nlolsen8@reddit
Ya like no fucking way and I answering the door at 4am and I'm telling my husband not to either. Talking for more than a go away I already called the cops is insane.
ChooksChick@reddit
I'm not even going downstairs to see who it is. My 110# dog is.
GNav@reddit
No op wouldn't be visible at all. Play the sound and start throwing balls.
SubstantialPressure3@reddit
If they are hanging around that often to become a nuisance, they know there isn't a dog.
GNav@reddit
Plenty of people have inside dogs (sadly neglecting). Plus it's still something to do....
yarders1991@reddit
A claymore mine fixed to your door would sort that….
Daitheflu1979@reddit
Remove your door!
TheHueman@reddit
Piss disk...under YOUR door
JaimeOnReddit@reddit
install a switch to open the circuit of the doorbell. also the intercom buzzer.
samsbamboo@reddit
Get naked, swing the door open as hard as you can and invade their personal space.
Xistential0ne@reddit
Just pretend you’re calling 911. Make sure the person can hear you say Someone is trying to break in, please send officers. It appears they are armed” wait 20 seconds and say Oh great, they are on the way and will be here in 90 seconds to 2 minutes, thank you. My video camera is recording them ask the officer to get a copy after they apprehend the person.
rora_borealis@reddit
Motion activated sprinkler that will only activate during your sleeping schedule. You'll need a timer to turn power on and off on schedule, and the motion activated sprinkler connects to that. Also put a small sign up that says, "No knocking 10pm-7am. Will call police. Under video surveillance." Doesn't matter if you have a camera or not. Just putting that out there might be enough to make someone else look like a better target.
SpoonwoodTangle@reddit
lol where I live this would 100% be a tactic to gauge which house to break into. Opening the door does you no services.
You can shout through the door that they’re trespassing and you already called the police. The relative truthfulness of this statement is irrelevant.
If that doesn’t work out local solution is claiming you have a gun, tossing a few firecrackers out an upstairs window, or cracking the door and shining an obnoxiously bright light in their face. Brighter the better.
At 4am you are under no obligation to be polite or quiet, especially if it keeps happening. Make it everyone’s problem so they never come back.
ittybittykangaroo@reddit
"opening the door does you no services" and then immediately suggests cracking the door open
Limp_Service_2320@reddit
🎉
SpoonwoodTangle@reddit
It’s is “unethical life pro tips”, doesn’t stipulate if it’s ethical for OP or the problem
Outspoken_Idiot@reddit
Air horn time... And remote fob to car alarm, if I'm woken up then the whole damn neighborhood is woken up.
theLastBourbender@reddit
Always keep ear protection next to the airhorn if going this route. I coworker "pranked" me by blowing one of those under the bathroom door and I have permanent damage in the ear that faced it.
Someone told me that I could've taken legal action against him for that though, so idk
CTallPaul@reddit
I dated a woman whose coworker pranked her doing that. It blew out her eardrums. She wore hearing aids but still had a tough time hearing me.
Her case was simple cuz someone else was filming it as part of the “prank”. She easily wore and all her medical bills relating to her ears were covered for life. But honestly she really couldn’t hear well and I sorta blame it for why we had trouble fully connecting
RivenRise@reddit
Dude they're so loud. We were driving going like 40 through an empty patch of forest and a bud pulled one out and blasted it for half a second out the windows. It was defeaning.
TraditionalAsk8718@reddit
No, just call the police
TraditionalAsk8718@reddit
Just stay behind the door, locked and armed then call the police without telling them. Just call them
hidrapit@reddit
Is Tamara home?
cwhitel@reddit
Holy shit stop answering the fucking door.
Do you want a home invasion? Because that’s how you get one.
dascobaz@reddit
That or they’ve moved into what used to be a trap house and old clients are still hoping their plug is around…
egyszeruen_1xu@reddit
Is there any way piss disc can be utilized in this case?
Specific_Piccolo9528@reddit
Open the door and spray liquid ass in their face
hordak666@reddit
frozen liquid ass disc
Edgar_Brown@reddit
An couple of automated piss disk throwers connected to the doorbell.
DietCoke_repeat@reddit
If you fill the frisbee on the low side, the disk edges are nice and sharp.
Different-Factor9726@reddit
In the shape of a frisbee.
RichardBonham@reddit
Hold the doorknob and turn it back and forth while pulling it in and out and making erratic scratching sounds on the door.
Loose_Employment_935@reddit
Pepper spray
ToddtheRugerKid@reddit
Blast them with a flash from a 60000 lumen bulb behind the window on your door next time they knock.
claireballoon@reddit
I open the door. It's someone soliciting or something. I let them start talking to confirm. Then I interrupt and say "no thank you" and close the door.
They stopped coming to my door eventually.
D3moknight@reddit
If you are in the US and not a felon, it's not illegal to loudly cock your shotgun from behind the door and open the door just a crack and say, "Go away."
Pristine-Ad-469@reddit
Put motion activated lights and a camera out there. Add a sign that says do not knock between sunset and sunrise.
Then when they do it yell that you will be reporting them for harassment and trespassing and are sending their picture to the police
If it’s the same person, they will stop. If they’d re up to some bullshit the last thing they want is their picture to be sent to the police with this current location
Bonus points if you hang up pictures of their face all around your complex with some note below it
WhoskeyTangoFoxtrot@reddit
“My time is worth $50/minute. By knocking or ringing my doorbell signals acceptance of this contract. You are being recorded…”
Butt_Plug_Bonanza@reddit
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"
Li3Ch33s3cak3@reddit
Install a motion-activated sprinkler aimed at your doorstep. They will learn to avoid your property quickly.
Abystract-ism@reddit
A recording of someone screaming or an air horn would be properly annoying.
You could also answer the door with a super soaker and spray the idiot…warn them “you will regret me opening this door”.
And the obligatory toss a piss disc at them I suppose.
pompist@reddit
Who opens the door for anyone at 4am? What kind of interaction do you think you will have?
Lights on, tell them to fuck off (through a close door) or you’ll call the cops. I would just stay in bed and ignore.
synbios128@reddit
I have religious fucks coming to my door all the time. I've seriously considered putting a cross on my door just so I can rotate it upside down while they stand there, like morons, waiting for someone to come to the door.
AffectionatePause152@reddit
Home sprinkler
Remote_Bumblebee2240@reddit
I recommend decorating your porch with creepy dolls. Remove their eyes.
Ubockinme@reddit
Yeah, if you’re seven.
Trishlovesdolphins@reddit
Did you just move in? This sounds like people looking for their dealer.
Former-Increase-9165@reddit
I would get a can of bear spray, and give them a face full of bear love, I’m betting this will fix their irrational need to bother you
Wertreou@reddit
"a full face of bear love". ...some people might like that.
Reasonable_Bear_2057@reddit
Have you tried telling them to fuck off, then ignoring them?
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
I AM A MEAT POPSICLE!
oak_and_tonic@reddit
I laughed so hard when I saw this
Reasonable_Bear_2057@reddit
A BIG badaboom would get rid of them....
No_Battle4474@reddit
How TF does OP get by in life?
JellyCat222@reddit
If you are American then do it with your pistol in hand
nothingeverkind@reddit
Get a front yard, fence it, have a vicious outdoor dog live in it and patrol it. The only use for dogs. Period.
IdubdubI@reddit
Wasp nest on the door
crispyslife@reddit
Watch home alone. Loads of good ideas.
Heptatechnist@reddit
Why the hell would you hint? Tell them “fuck off; I’ve called the cops”.
Valuable-Road-4550@reddit (OP)
To clarify, these people aren't dangerous, and if they were, they wouldn't be able to get away with anything. I just want them to leave and think twice before knocking on someone's door at 4 IN THE MORNING
Heptatechnist@reddit
Ffs, you do NOT know this.
TurtleStepper@reddit
Do you fucking live next to a strip club or something, what in the actual fuck? Someone knocks on my door at 4 in the morning that I don't know and the police are getting called, while I wait inside with a gun. Some random pounding on your door at 4am is either up to something nefarious or so inebriated they are definitely dangerous. You seem incredibly naive. Call the cops. And if I were to interact with them, it would be to scream bloody fucking murder at them and tell them to fuck right off before I bounce their head off the pavement. Not sure how this happened repeatedly to you.
DontCryYourExIsUgly@reddit
Dude, people aren't knocking on people's doors at 4 a.m. with good intentions, lol.
Skeggy-@reddit
Everyone is dangerous at 4am at the front entrance to your home. Would be silly to act otherwise. Make a big deal about it waking everyone else up next time.
KrisClem77@reddit
Metal door and electrify it when you go to bed.
Material-Win-2781@reddit
I used to live in a house with a wrought iron "security screen"
You couldn't even effectively see through it if the lights were off in the living room.
To make matter slightly more interesting, this was kind of an oddball living situation where I moved into a friend's rental that had been overrun with squatters. I managed to remove the squatters, but the place had been a literal drug den for a couple of months. The first couple weeks were a literal parade of all of the city's finest citizens trying to get in at o'dark 30. On more than one occasion it ended in the person on my porch being arrested.
IrateContendor@reddit
I cant advocate violence, so don't do violence, but if someone stuck a gun in my face I'd probably leave them alone...
Kielbasa_Nunchucka@reddit
you ever see Home Alone?
khampang@reddit
A friend of mine found the universally recognized sound of a pump action shotgun shut the person on the other side of the door up quite well. Don’t threaten them. The sound is usually enough.
But nothing beats dogs. Enraged (sounding) dogs tends to filters the AHs at the door.
Purlz1st@reddit
After I had a burglary, the investigators told me, You don’t want the biggest dog on the block, you want the loudest.
rice126@reddit
If you happen to have a 12-gauge shotgun and an alarm clock…wake up about 15 minutes before they usually come, and wait. The second they knock, door swings open and that shotgun gets pointed right at their face. You’re welcome to rack it, even if it’s already in battery it’ll drop a round on the ground to let them know that yes, it is loaded. Either you have control of the situation, or they shit themselves and run.
Oh, DONT SHOOT - unless you can actually prove its self defense
P.s.: a 12-gauge shotgun can be had fairly cheap, used ones are a couple hundred bucks or less, they’re the least restricted firearm category to purchase, YMMV depending on where you live
CLG_Divent@reddit
I do not open or even come to the door unless it's someone I expect
aladdin_d@reddit
Print a sign that says, if you keep knocking on the devil’s door somebody’s gonna answer it
malaysianzombie@reddit
not sure if anyone has said it but turn on the porno music real loud or play that scene from godfather .. you know the one
joeehler@reddit
Bear mace
Malodoror@reddit
Goddamn, have you tried “Get fucked, cops are coming.”? Otherwise glue.
spodinielri0@reddit
if someone knocks on my door at 4am, I’d consider it an emergency and I’d call the police. Dont open your door at 4am!
Thathathatha@reddit
Security gate on the front to make it harder to knock. Also, you can just remove the doorbell. In my case, it works, since I don't expect many people and when I do, I can monitor the security cams to know when they come to my house. I still have an alert that pops up on my phone when someone comes to my door, but I can keep it on silent so it doesn't bother me really.
FairyCompetent@reddit
Slide a piece of paper under the door that says Fuck Off
gloomandmybroom@reddit
Answer the door naked.
vonhoother@reddit
Naked but holding a shotgun.
Few_Ad_7613@reddit
And tell them you're a cop and already on the scene.
Beneficial_Sweet4U@reddit
If you must open the door get a gun or toy gun painted black so they know to leave you alone. Say something like next time I'll shoot ask questions later. Also get a ring camera
kgrobinson007@reddit
Open the door, blast them with an air horn, slam the door and lock it. If you’re feeling generous, have a sign on the outside of the door explaining exactly what will happen if they knock on your door before/between certain hours.
Mishaaargh@reddit
Suggest a window DO NOT open the damn door. Smh
B_P_G@reddit
No reasonable person would knock on anyone's door at that hour without calling first. Personally I would just ignore it but if it's happening that often then get a description of the guy and their vehicle if they have one and call the police. Or you could open the door and immediately put a gun in their face. Then they might take a hint.
somebodyelse22@reddit
Can't you just put a switch in line, so midnight to 0600 the door alarm doesn't work?
theboredlockpicker@reddit
That’s not how knocking works
thomasanderson123412@reddit
Call the cops and tell them you think the person has a gun.
Ok_Yam_6767@reddit
Better yet tell the cops you have a gun and you think the person is trying to get in. They’ll be there super quick. (Best if you actually have a gun…)
ArbitraryMorality@reddit
Where in the fucking hell do you live?! 4 in the morning, often?!
maybe I’m just out of touch from living in the country but sweet Moses that sounds taxing
protogenxl@reddit
Place a simple printout on your door.
These premises have been sealed by local police department blah blah blah
https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-a-broken-new-york-police-department-notice-stuck-to-a-door-of-a-hotel-35323371.html
NMFun2022@reddit
Open the door w/shotgun in hand, barrel pointed down.
TheAlienatedPenguin@reddit
Spray bottle with water ands peppermint and yell “No! Bad!” As you are squirting them
Super soaker with deer urine
Loud Alarm that states. “Step away from the door. Step away from the door. Door is activated and will go off in 5, 4, 3, 2…..
Say thru the door “Please state your name, DOB and how you know the victim, I mean tenant. Slide your ID under the door.”
Glitter Bomb
C00k1eJar@reddit
Stop answering the door! At the very least get a doorbell cam or some other security camera pointing at your door where you can talk to the person without answering. I would get a “Beware of dog sign” and play a loud dog recording like the other comments said.
71-lb@reddit
NRA sign by the door, and back the blue sign even if you are more the ACAB type. Recording of dogs barking as your doorbell.
71-lb@reddit
Get a cap gun ( kids toy ) fire it .
Or get a recording of a .357 firing .
Play it back .
If authorities show up even better if its your ringtone , and ur ph hooks up to ur tv. Oops I got phone call and didn't mute it in time.
Sorry bout that.
you_dont_know_me_313@reddit
Do what I did. Either get a shotgun, or find something that sounds like racking a shotgun (loading a round) and answer the door with, "What the hell do you want at this hour?" Then rack the shotgun. Happened 3 times, and I got, "Sorry. Wrong house" all 3 times.
fester250@reddit
Bear mace.
Jaderosegrey@reddit
I'll let you in but first you have to listen to the novel I wrote. and after each chapter, you have to give me a detailed critique."
I don't know if it works for drunk people, but it does work on Jehovah's Witnesses.
CryptoSlovakian@reddit
Why are you giving hints? Tell them to get lost or you’ll call the police.
Slack0er@reddit
Put a sock on the doorknob?
Purple_Chipmunk_@reddit
Motion activated sprinkler near the front door.
publicurinationpass@reddit
Scream in their face.
GusPolinskiOfficial@reddit
I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly... yellow, no-good keister off my property... before I pump your guts full of lead. One, two, ten!
GusPolinskiOfficial@reddit
Remove the glass on the peep hole. When they come back shoot a blowdart through the hole.
N-Y-R-D@reddit
Become known as “the crazy gun/gal”.
Key-Candle8141@reddit
Get your shotgun and go stand by the door...
Do that thing that makes the loud "I've got a fucking shotgun" sound...
Slide your shotgun out the mailslot...
Ask them politely to leave
wtfisthepoint@reddit
Where tf do you live?!?
LocalInactivist@reddit
Buy two Ring camera. They have intercoms. On one, tell them to look directly into the camera. Then on the other one that’s behind them and ten feet away, tell them to put their hands on their heads.
Borderline26@reddit
run out bollock naked kicking off like fuck with a hammer
funnylikeaclown420@reddit
Open the door, say you don’t look like the pics… but let’s fuck!!! Did that to some religious folks who were less than receptive. Come to my door, you get, ME!
Internal_Set_6564@reddit
A politician (Thin/handsome/openly gay) knocked on my door and when I opened it I said “Bill, your twink date from grinder is here. Come on in. He is working on his outfit.” And the guy started laughing. He got my vote.
BeeFree66@reddit
🤣😂🤣
tigm2161130@reddit
r/iamverybadass
Dec8rs8r@reddit
I had a drunken idiot banging on my door wanting me to give her a ride home at 3am. Scared the hell out of me and I had to work in the morning. What worked was putting my 🔫up to the window of the door and commenting something I better not repeat.
HerbertRTarlekJr@reddit
Racking my shotgun has always worked for me.
IamJatinbhutani@reddit
I would have played some horror sounds in background if this had happened with me.
ijustwannapostokay@reddit
laser pointer through the window into their eyes
poddy_fries@reddit
OP, where the hell do you live that people banging on your door at 4am isn't a legit, once in a lifetime, emergency?
East-Psychology7186@reddit
Holding a gun in a non threatening manor (as non threatening as that can be without pointing) usually does the trick. That’s an odd hour. Are you sure it actually door knockers?
Annual_Government_80@reddit
A motion activated security light
FriendToPredators@reddit
Motion activated sprinklers.
Bismothe-the-Shade@reddit
Motion activated shotgun booby trap with digital wracking sound for x2 wracking action
LawnGnomeFlamingo@reddit
Motivation activated claymore
Kupfernickel5@reddit
Well, that would be dependent on how determined they are.
chicken_tendigo@reddit
Don't open that door. Just tell them you've got 911 on speed dial if they don't go away, and if they don't go away start having a conversation with dispatch and "asking" what the criteria for injuring/disposing of intruders is.
Active_Drawer@reddit
Move somewhere else. Sounds like a shitty apartment complex. Alert the staff about it otherwise.
Amydgalis@reddit
My guess is that a drug dealer used to live in your apartment. I lived in a row of 5 rental houses for a year & the neighbor had people coming to the house at all times of day/night, for under 15 minutes.
Thankfully they left me alone, but I did loop the landlord in & they evicted them a few months later…
Jumpy-Program9957@reddit
Ask them to stop
Wolfwood442@reddit
If you've got a balcony or deck, drop a firecracker and say 'Fuck, I missed'... it really works. Surprising how fast people can move lol
Comprehensive-Carry2@reddit
Stick a gin in their face
Unusual-Simple-5509@reddit
Get a police scanner and leave it on.
Annual_Government_80@reddit
Secure yourself at all times. A rubber door stopper placed so they can’t get in. Depending on your area a small sign by your door that indicates you are a voodoo practitioner and will sell evil curses
MelonOfFury@reddit
No choice but to automate your home like something out of Home Alone
Annual_Government_80@reddit
Especially the electric charcoal starter on the door knob
Melodic-Ad1415@reddit
Casing your place
theweedfather_@reddit
Answer while open carrying this seems very weird to be this hung up over
gooeyjello@reddit
Tell them you have a gun pointed at them through the door. Print their photo and put it by your doorbell with something that says you've sent it to the pd?
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
That's going to go REALLY well when it's the police knocking because they are looking for a stolen phone or whatever that located to this address.
Happened to me at 4am a couple months ago.
originalityescapesme@reddit
There’s no fucking way any night shift police officer is following up on phone related thefts at 4 am. You don’t have to interact with anyone whatsoever coming to your door at 4 am. That’s wholly unreasonable, and the police are aware of this. They don’t give two flying fucks about following up on stolen phones either lol
Why did you claim this?
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
...Because it happened to me?
I think your tinfoil hat may be too tight bud.
originalityescapesme@reddit
Tinfoil hat? Put down the crack pipe.
JustForkIt1111one@reddit
Uh huh. This has to be really embarrassing for you. I'll help you out, and block you. It seems like the kind thing to do.
TheGnomishMafia@reddit
Sign that says $5 per question.
sirhimel@reddit
I have an insane neighbor that kept doing this. Until i racked a shotgun right next to the door and yelled out as if to my wife "call 911 and tell them I had to shoot an intruder". I guess he called the cops and they knocked on my door a couple hours later asking if I had threatened him, but it never happened again.
banditsace10@reddit
You do know that police exist right?
TraditionalAsk8718@reddit
All of you saying to engage with this person are dumb. Just call the police. That is literally what they are 4. Your tax money pays for them, abuse the service.
JCBashBash@reddit
Get a Halloween surprise scarer, activate it just before you go to bed, so if someone walks up on your doorway before you wake, they get spooked.
AlwaysSleepingBeauty@reddit
Ring camera doorbell will let you talk to them from bed.
buttsmcfatts@reddit
Op were you perhaps raised by a field mouse? You have no survival skills.
CarrotofInsanity@reddit
Don’t answer the door at 4am. Don’t open that door; you’re ASKING for trouble if you open that door.
From the inside, tell them you’re calling the cops.
Call the cops.
Also get a doorbell camera.
Sure_Comfort_7031@reddit
Throw a fire cracker out the door at them.
suejaymostly@reddit
Put a sign on your door that says, if you knock on my door after 9 pm, and I do not know you, expect to get P**pper sp*ayed.
KithMeImTyson@reddit
Shoot them.
New-IncognitoWindow@reddit
Security camera
flearhcp97@reddit
metal knocker + electricity
Awkward_Ly@reddit
Late to the party. I had this problem in my first apartment at 19. Besides, whoever was leaving fish heads on the sidewalk was also quite the annoying bunch. My remedy was to approach the door with malice in my voice. I say now who the fuck is knocking at my mf'ing door. Usually, by the time I got to the peep hole, they were walking away.
It soon was a problem I never had to endure again.
tilldeathdoiparty@reddit
I have sat in my living room, in full view of door to door sales at my front door.
I made eye contact, shrugged and went back to playing video games.
They got the hint, they never came back.
desertboots@reddit
Call your police non emergency number instead of answering the door. Use the speaker phone to record as you notify the knockers that they are trespassing if they don't cease and desist.
briomio@reddit
Tell them that you are armed and they need to leave ASAP
EstePersona@reddit
Just tell them that the police will help them, and you just called them. Then do it.
MattDubh@reddit
Ask them if there's anyone knows where they are, and how long it would be before anyone misses them.
Choice-Education7650@reddit
A variation of a threat my uncle made. "Whats your address so I can notify your family where to find your body"?
Durbee@reddit
This cracked me up. I had an unstable neighbor that liked to hop my fence, I finally spotlighted him one night and just asked him how much he weighed. He asked me why. "BECAUSE THE SHERIFF SAID I WOULDN'T BE IN TROUBLE IF THEY FOUND YOUR BODY OVER MY THRESHOLD, AND I NEED TO KNOW IF I CAN DRAG YOUR ASS OVER HERE OR CALL HIM FOR HELP."
He did not repeat said behavior.
Aiku@reddit
This is good.
Xtay1@reddit
Here in Indiana we can legally shoot them through the door. No questions ask.
lapsteelguitar@reddit
Call the police. Let them deal with it. DO NOT open your door.
TentaclesAndCupcakes@reddit
Are they coming to your actual door, or just ringing the intercom from your apartment lobby? If it's the lobby, just say "Stop ringing it, I will never let you in." But if it's your actual door. I'd get a Ring camera or similar and basically say the same thing "Go away, I will never open the door for you"
Agitated-Rent584@reddit
Police are in their way.
if_im_not_back_in_5@reddit
If there's a particular day this happens, I'd be tempted to get a few burly men around with the offer of free beer, and if someone knocks at 4am, to deal with them in a manner most brutal.
Tied naked, face down with honey drizzled over their nuts over an ant hill would be a good start.
massassi@reddit
I find that going to the door in a robe and obviously sleep rumpled hair can have a shack value impact. They tend to realize that they're way offside. Worked for the teenagers drinking in the park beside my house too.
Pumpkin_Pie@reddit
Paintball gun
MyFavoriteDisease@reddit
Rack a shotgun. They will leave and not be back
taro354@reddit
Electrify the door and knocker.
Hey-Just-Saying@reddit
You can disconnect the doorbell. You can't stop people from knocking since (I'm assuming) these aren't the same people, but you can remove any loud door knockers so that they have to knock with their fists. That will at least discourage them from knocking repeatedly.