Fuck you, man! You don't like my fucking plot hole, get your own fucking script!
[Why didn't the eagles, ya know, who just picked-up and carried Frodo and Sam off the, uh, Mt Doom lava field, to uh, uhh, safety and shit, just take them there in the first place? Hadn't that occurred to you, man? Sir?]
The word itself makes some men uncomfortable, whereas some will refer to their pipe weed as Old Toby, or Westman's weed, or Halfling's Leaf, or Sweet Galenas, or Longbottom Leaf. Pipe weed.
outfoxingthefoxes@reddit
The ring cannot look empty
Mucupka@reddit
That ring really tied Middle Earth together, did it not.
jodonald@reddit
...and that guy took it
jodonald@reddit
Gave dude a ring
kawiz03@reddit
I'm telling you, this was a valued ring. This was a Sméagol's precious.
Fr000k@reddit
You told Mouth of Sauron on the phone. He told me. Where do I fit in?
901Soccer@reddit
Oh so you know they were coming to try and destroy your Ring?
Aramkhutu@reddit
Elrond draws a lot of water in this town, you don't draw shit
freetherhinoz@reddit
You don't know shit, Jon Snow. Oh, wait... heh
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Lotta fantasy strands to keep straight in the old Duder’s head, ya know.
freetherhinoz@reddit
Fuckin a
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Listen, Galadriel, I’m gonna have to tender my resignation.
harrycletus@reddit
STAY OUT OF RIVENDELL BILBO
MechanicalTurkish@reddit
Let’s not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, um... an amphibious hobbit, for... um, ya know domestic... within the Shire... that ain't legal either.
callmekizzle@reddit
What are you a fucking Ranger of the North now?
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
Let’s not forget, that keeping a balrog in the mines of moria, for you know, domestic, that ain’t legal either
Potatoe_Potahto@reddit
This is what happens when you stop a balrog on the pass!
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
Balrog has fuckin papers. Can’t leave it in Moria, it eats the dwarves
CF_Traveler_DC@reddit
You shall not pass! Your aggression shall not pass, man. I mean, your Dark Lord owes money all over Middle-earth ...
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
…including to known Gondorians, which…which is cool.
901Soccer@reddit
Also, Dude, balrog is no longer the preferred nomenclature. Durin's Bane, please
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Hey, man! This is a private residence!
donuttrackme@reddit
87 year olds Dude. 87 year olds.
CF_Traveler_DC@reddit
Not all who wander are nihilists, man.
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
That’s fucking interesting, man.
TheFuckingHippoGuy@reddit
Are these the Nazgûl, Walter?
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
They send us a Nazgûl and we’re supposed to shit ourselves in fear?
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Ok, just give us ze rings you have on you, and vee calls it even.
Aggravating_Speed665@reddit
No, these men are witches, there's nothing to be afraid of.
901Soccer@reddit
Gandalf, I uh finally got the venue I wanted for my 111th birthday and, well, I'd love it if you came and shot off some fireworks
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Lotta fantasy strands to keep straight in the old Duder’s head, ya know.
RelativeKick1681@reddit
Sure, Bilbo. I’ll be there, not late or early, but exactly when I intend to arrive.
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
Mind if I do a bit of old Toby?
tinkerk84@reddit
I told Gandalf I can’t take the ring if it’s during a league game.
Key-Contest-2879@reddit
Your ring’s phoning, Dude.
Pwnstix@reddit
Put the Ring away man, they're callin' the Nazgûl
Zanos-Ixshlae@reddit
I'm not rolling that ring to Mordor on shabbos.
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
Gave Dude a palantir
isthisonetaken13@reddit
That creep can surveil, man.
ryanb31183@reddit
I told that dwarf at the league office I don’t roll during 2nd breakfast!
renegaderelish@reddit
Life does not start and stop and your convenience you mythical piece a shiitt
guzzonculous@reddit
Two great movies that go together like chocolate and mustard.
CampSubject9176@reddit
Gandalf out the ring away they’re calling the Nazgûl
solidus0079@reddit
Jackie Treebeard
Pitiful-North-2781@reddit
We lost the Entwives. It’s digital, little hobbits.
901Soccer@reddit
My Entwife is not the issue here!
Mechanical_Monk@reddit
I still pollenate manually
FiK-SiR@reddit
Jackie Treebeard treats Hobbits like Orcs, man.
2wheelsThx@reddit
Where's the fuckin ring, shitheeead?!
katet_of_19@reddit
It's down there somewhere, Precious. Let me take another look.
china-blast@reddit
Your ring, yes, well… with that money you can buy any number of rings that don't have sentimental value for me.
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
That ring of power really bound the 9 other rings together, did it not? And this hobbit stole it
Glittering_Garbage28@reddit
Gollum, please.
ElectricMilk426@reddit
lol this one made me spit out my coffee a bit. Thanks.
TimonAndPumbaAreDead@reddit
I've had a long night and I hate the fucking eagles, man
2wheelsThx@reddit
Fuck you, man! You don't like my fucking plot hole, get your own fucking script!
[Why didn't the eagles, ya know, who just picked-up and carried Frodo and Sam off the, uh, Mt Doom lava field, to uh, uhh, safety and shit, just take them there in the first place? Hadn't that occurred to you, man? Sir?]
LordSloth666@reddit
Get the hell out off of my Nazgal!
KgMonstah@reddit
Hahahaha didn’t have to change a word
Moist_Cheese_09@reddit
Sauron doesn't roll on Shabbos
N00BY_D00@reddit
Théoden, King of the Rohirrim. Not exactly a lightweight.
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
Does he still fight?
No… he has health problems.
Listen wormtongue, you’re killing your king. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?
PabstBlueBourbon@reddit
Mind if I do a pipe-weed?
Due_Speaker_2829@reddit
He looks like a fucking Sackville-Baggins
H_E_Pennypacker@reddit
I’m a baggins, you’re a baggins, that’s terrific. What can I do for you sir?
MechanicalTurkish@reddit
I’m saving this for later lmao
TheReadMenace@reddit
The halfling’s leaf has clearly slowed your mind
901Soccer@reddit
Mind if I do a J?
Pitiful-North-2781@reddit
I’m sorry your stepmother’s a Sindarin, or whatever…
marbotty@reddit
POTATOES, in the parlance of our time
paygunholiday@reddit
Uruk-hai… a worthy adversary.
N00BY_D00@reddit
Ork fuckers trying to find reverse on a Nazgul
boop66@reddit (OP)
3,000 years of beautiful tradition from Treebeard to Tom Bombadil, you're goddamn right i'm living in the fucking past!
knivesofsmoothness@reddit
The story is ludicrous.
al2o3cr@reddit
You're killing your father, Faramir!
Mtubman@reddit
Honestly this right here is why Al Gore invented the internet. Bravo. And a good day to you sir.
CF_Traveler_DC@reddit
What in god's holy name are you blathering about?!
WhatIsTheAmplitude@reddit
Also, Merry and Pippin were kidnapped by the Uruk-Hai. Separate incidents!
CF_Traveler_DC@reddit
I guess we can close the file on that one!
nysom1227@reddit
Mind if I do a J with the finest weed in the Southfarthing?
merkaba_462@reddit
The word itself makes some men uncomfortable, whereas some will refer to their pipe weed as Old Toby, or Westman's weed, or Halfling's Leaf, or Sweet Galenas, or Longbottom Leaf. Pipe weed.
CF_Traveler_DC@reddit
Vagina??
uttyrc@reddit
Walter: 3,000 years of glorius tradition! Elrond: I was there 3,000 years ago.
No-Ad-3534@reddit
I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. This aggression will not stand, man!
nobodyamerica@reddit
Shut the fuck up Pippin!
Maleficent-Detail-62@reddit
I see rolled your way into Mordor, dios mio, man!
geo-ant@reddit
Kankra and me, we’re gonna fuck you up!
Ka-is-a-Wheel_19@reddit
Joaquin_Portland@reddit
Hey, at least Gandalf is housebroken.
Botosi5150@reddit
Also, Dude, "Hobbit" is not the preferred nomenclature. Shire-folk, please.
Maleficent-Detail-62@reddit
This isnt a guy built rings of power here
KgMonstah@reddit
The hole-dweller is not the issue man!
FreePhilosopher256@reddit
Saruman treats orcs like objects, man.
TheTalentedMrTorres@reddit
Don’t be fatuous, Teleporno
originalbrowncoat@reddit
Nice warg
Mulliganasty@reddit
china-blast@reddit
The old man said take any ring in the house.
Half-White_Moustache@reddit
I'm not trying to rob you rug dude. I'm trying to help you.
Aromatic_Shoulder146@reddit
aghh man that ring really brought the room together, a damn maia-man had my ring thrown into a volcano... man!
notsobadmisterfrosty@reddit
I’m not here to help you! I’m here to rob you, Lebowski.