Far Out, Man. | TheaterFire

Let’s not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, um... an amphibious hobbit, for... um, ya know domestic... within the Shire... that ain't legal either.

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callmekizzle@reddit

What are you a fucking Ranger of the North now?

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

Let’s not forget, that keeping a balrog in the mines of moria, for you know, domestic, that ain’t legal either

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Potatoe_Potahto@reddit

This is what happens when you stop a balrog on the pass!

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

Balrog has fuckin papers. Can’t leave it in Moria, it eats the dwarves

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CF_Traveler_DC@reddit

You shall not pass! Your aggression shall not pass, man. I mean, your Dark Lord owes money all over Middle-earth ...

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

…including to known Gondorians, which…which is cool.

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901Soccer@reddit

Also, Dude, balrog is no longer the preferred nomenclature. Durin's Bane, please

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

Hey, man! This is a private residence!

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CF_Traveler_DC@reddit

Not all who wander are nihilists, man.

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

They send us a Nazgûl and we’re supposed to shit ourselves in fear?

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

Ok, just give us ze rings you have on you, and vee calls it even.

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Aggravating_Speed665@reddit

No, these men are witches, there's nothing to be afraid of.

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901Soccer@reddit

Gandalf, I uh finally got the venue I wanted for my 111th birthday and, well, I'd love it if you came and shot off some fireworks

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Key-Contest-2879@reddit

Lotta fantasy strands to keep straight in the old Duder’s head, ya know.

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RelativeKick1681@reddit

Sure, Bilbo. I’ll be there, not late or early, but exactly when I intend to arrive.

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tinkerk84@reddit

I told Gandalf I can’t take the ring if it’s during a league game.

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Pwnstix@reddit

Put the Ring away man, they're callin' the Nazgûl

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Zanos-Ixshlae@reddit

I'm not rolling that ring to Mordor on shabbos.

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ryanb31183@reddit

I told that dwarf at the league office I don’t roll during 2nd breakfast!

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renegaderelish@reddit

Life does not start and stop and your convenience you mythical piece a shiitt

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guzzonculous@reddit

Two great movies that go together like chocolate and mustard.

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CampSubject9176@reddit

Gandalf out the ring away they’re calling the Nazgûl

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Pitiful-North-2781@reddit

We lost the Entwives. It’s digital, little hobbits.

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FiK-SiR@reddit

Jackie Treebeard treats Hobbits like Orcs, man.

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2wheelsThx@reddit

Where's the fuckin ring, shitheeead?!

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katet_of_19@reddit

It's down there somewhere, Precious. Let me take another look.

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china-blast@reddit

Your ring, yes, well… with that money you can buy any number of rings that don't have sentimental value for me.

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

That ring of power really bound the 9 other rings together, did it not? And this hobbit stole it

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ElectricMilk426@reddit

lol this one made me spit out my coffee a bit. Thanks.

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TimonAndPumbaAreDead@reddit

I've had a long night and I hate the fucking eagles, man

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2wheelsThx@reddit

Fuck you, man! You don't like my fucking plot hole, get your own fucking script!

[Why didn't the eagles, ya know, who just picked-up and carried Frodo and Sam off the, uh, Mt Doom lava field, to uh, uhh, safety and shit, just take them there in the first place? Hadn't that occurred to you, man? Sir?]

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LordSloth666@reddit

Get the hell out off of my Nazgal!

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KgMonstah@reddit

Hahahaha didn’t have to change a word

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Moist_Cheese_09@reddit

Sauron doesn't roll on Shabbos

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N00BY_D00@reddit

Théoden, King of the Rohirrim. Not exactly a lightweight.

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

Does he still fight?

No… he has health problems.

Listen wormtongue, you’re killing your king. Have you ever heard of Vietnam?

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PabstBlueBourbon@reddit

Mind if I do a pipe-weed?

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Due_Speaker_2829@reddit

He looks like a fucking Sackville-Baggins

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H_E_Pennypacker@reddit

I’m a baggins, you’re a baggins, that’s terrific. What can I do for you sir?

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MechanicalTurkish@reddit

I’m saving this for later lmao

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TheReadMenace@reddit

The halfling’s leaf has clearly slowed your mind

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901Soccer@reddit

Mind if I do a J?

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Pitiful-North-2781@reddit

I’m sorry your stepmother’s a Sindarin, or whatever…

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marbotty@reddit

POTATOES, in the parlance of our time

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paygunholiday@reddit

Uruk-hai… a worthy adversary.

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N00BY_D00@reddit

Ork fuckers trying to find reverse on a Nazgul

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boop66@reddit (OP)

3,000 years of beautiful tradition from Treebeard to Tom Bombadil, you're goddamn right i'm living in the fucking past!

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knivesofsmoothness@reddit

The story is ludicrous.

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al2o3cr@reddit

You're killing your father, Faramir!

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Mtubman@reddit

Honestly this right here is why Al Gore invented the internet. Bravo. And a good day to you sir.

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CF_Traveler_DC@reddit

What in god's holy name are you blathering about?!

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WhatIsTheAmplitude@reddit

Also, Merry and Pippin were kidnapped by the Uruk-Hai. Separate incidents!

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CF_Traveler_DC@reddit

I guess we can close the file on that one!

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nysom1227@reddit

Mind if I do a J with the finest weed in the Southfarthing?

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merkaba_462@reddit

The word itself makes some men uncomfortable, whereas some will refer to their pipe weed as Old Toby, or Westman's weed, or Halfling's Leaf, or Sweet Galenas, or Longbottom Leaf. Pipe weed.

gif

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