Follow-Up: More evidence of my wife’s cooking

Unironically, yeah. Getting started with cooking really isn't hard. When you're first starting out, the biggest hurdles (at least to me) are following directions and having confidence. Most of the time, when I see someone messing up really bad while cooking, it's usually because they missed a step, substituted something that they shouldn't have, or didn't follow a necessary step on purpose for some reason. If you are good at following directions, then there's no reason why anyone shouldn't at least be able to follow a recipe.

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ShoulderSea8008@reddit

cue to the glowing, charred surface of the kitchen, akin to planet Mustafar

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glitter_witch@reddit

Up in flames, yeah.

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jeffnorris@reddit

Aside from a kitchen fire sure

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KajaIsForeverAlone@reddit

Get her an Alexa or something so she can ask "Alexa how long and what temperature should I bake/roast ____"

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HouseHippoFluff@reddit

This is actually where meal subscription boxes like hello fresh come in handy because they break everything down into steps and have photos. Might be worth a try and she might pick up a few techniques.

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greeneyeraven@reddit

At this point you guys need to cook together so she can learn properly

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Slammber@reddit

Look up yourbarefootneighbor. He's on the socials and totally approachable for beginners.

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Wooden-Sample-3683@reddit

Maybe start with prep and watching you and/or cooking shows to gain fundamentals?

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DIYfu@reddit

Cook with her on the weekends teach her start easy be patient, grab a bottle of wine to help with that

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windyorbits@reddit

It’s made with love not skill. ❤️

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Valturia@reddit

Teach her patience, food can't be rushed by increasing the temp. Good food takes time.

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asyork@reddit

When I explain how to cook to someone who says they've never been able to, I usually get something like, "no one is going to do that." I learned patience with cooking because I love caramelized onions. Started making them in my teens and quickly realized there's no way to do it fast. You can maybe get by with just 30 minutes if you don't walk away and keep the onions moving around constantly, but an hour is more realistic if you want to be able to prep other food at the same time. Caramelized onions also taught me that you should be using more butter and salt than you are comfortable telling other people are in the meal...

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emmyemu@reddit

My husband went from not knowing you needed to cook rice before it could be eaten to making us falafel and crepes there’s hope!

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Jelly_Belly321@reddit

Or is she weaponizing incompetence so you can do it all? This is my wife's strategy.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

I don’t think so because she’s so good at so many things and will often beg me to let her cook so she can practice. Now it could be the most elaborate long con of all time, to be fair.

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LipstickJungle2025@reddit

I can't think y'all should just door dash

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siraliases@reddit

This is adorable and no matter how much she ducks up, doing it for love is the best

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Difficult-Survey8384@reddit

Everyone starts somewhere but the key is to start in the RIGHT place which would very most likely be some beginners cooking videos for her.

I’m not insulting her, I actually admire that she’s committed to practicing something you can share together. I’m a mediocre cook so I just don’t cook often.

People have suggested things like food network which is great to inspire and encourage joy in what she’s doing, but it’s not always on a beginner level that’s on par with what…she did here. lol.

Look up some TRUE beginner’s material, such as why hotter is indeed NOT always “faster” in these cases 😅

I want y’all to succeed in that she can enjoy cooking and so you can at least have something edible to TRY, for starters haha!

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keii_aru_awesomu@reddit

Like Japanese kids start by boiling water.

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atomic__balm@reddit

No offense but if this is the result that seems hard to believe. Step 1 Cut the timer in half and flip

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Exktvme4@reddit

Check this book out! I'm a pretty good cook, but I still love this book and others like it. She might find it informative, it's great for new chefs!

https://a.co/d/eG4sk6y

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Trick-Cantaloupe-927@reddit

That evidence belongs to the fire department, so they can establish the cause.

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Stitch426@reddit

OP, introduce this woman to olive oil and parchment paper.

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PugGrumbles@reddit

Is she aware that she can cook things at a temperature level lower than the surface of the sun?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Well, you see, hotter is faster. Hope that helps.

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Spooky_Fun@reddit

Wife: “The recipe calls for 350 degrees for 1 hour…Sooooo I’ll put that bad but to 700 and be done in 30!!”

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EquivalentService739@reddit

Jokes aside I actually know so many women that think like that. They’re usually very anxious and impatient, so they’ll rather get used to eating burnt food than having to wait an extra 30 min for the food to be done.

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Myrtylle@reddit

My wife thinks heating something 5 minutes in the air fryer is too long. She prefers 2 minutes in the microwave even if the texture is less pleasing…

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EquivalentService739@reddit

That’s straight up anxiety disorder lol.

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Myrtylle@reddit

Nah she’s not anxious at all. She just hates cooking and wants the spend the least possible amount of time in the kitchen as she can.

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Traumagatchi@reddit

That's why I love snacks. I'll gnaw on some green beans etc while I cook. Doesn't fill me up but sates the hunger

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elle-elle-tee@reddit

The trick is to start cooking before you're hungry

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SqueakSquonks@reddit

Me using my airfryer. I forgot i could set it lower. I didnt burn my tortillas this time.

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Puzzled_Pop_6845@reddit

Bet she think 9 women can deliver a baby in one month

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BaconJacobs@reddit

I taught a Austrian guy this idiom. It was a proud moment haha.

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SpookyKay29@reddit

Ngl i wanna think this way now

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spacec4t@reddit

Maybe she should discover the microwave oven.

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Cormholio@reddit

Lmao does she have ADHD? This is something I would do when I’m starving and just need to eat NOW.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

She does! Shes AuDHD so food kinda generally evades her. It is better than when we first started dating, though

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PsychologicalScore49@reddit

I am the most ADHD you can ever get and I'm also a really good cook. However, two things have to happen.

If you are helping me in the kitchen, you cannot talk. You cannot talk to me or other people. I will mess jsomething up.
If it's a new recipe, I have to reread it every time I finish one step. I have to read it over and over and over throughout the whole process of cooking. It's helpful to have somebody else tell me the next step, but I'm often by myself in the kitchen.

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Traumagatchi@reddit

Oh now that I know she's audhd the sad bastard cookbook is SO up her alley. It's hilarious and very very helpful to us who have few spoons

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glitter_witch@reddit

Does she do well with things when they’re explained more scientifically? With reasoning behind each step explained so she can understand? :) A lot of cooks work in a more intuitive “you can add more or less if you like it” kind of way, but if she’s good with STEM type thinking, there are options for learning cooking as a science.

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Cormholio@reddit

So funny how we (neurodivergent individuals) can clock each other 😂 love her for not giving up!!!

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NetMiddle1873@reddit

Maybe an air fryer would help? I dont have one but allegedly faster than an oven, so maybe she won't be in so much rush to crank that baby to broil

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mojo2600@reddit

Oh my wife is the same... Microwave? 900 Watts as a default setting. Hot on the outside, cold inside.

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WiglyWorm@reddit

She's actually not wrong. Ask a chef.

She just needs to be actively flipping if she's going this route. She could also line the baking sheet with foil or parchment paper (as long as the oven isn't above 450).

Anyway, I think we have a variant of Cunningham's Law at play here. The fastest way to get cooking advice on the internet is to throw your wife under the bus.

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Constant_One_1612@reddit

My husband thinks that way when he cooks. I banished him to the grill after he ruined 2 of my pans.

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Cormholio@reddit

The thought of banishing someone to somewhere else in the house is giving me such a giggle I never thought would

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UntestedMethod@reddit

That's what she said!

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Pale_Taste_4778@reddit

My moms thinks the exact same way. She will put it on the highest temperature as possible when cooking anything😭

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Traumagatchi@reddit

Can I gently recommend the "sad bastard cookbook"? They're REALLY easy and foolproof recipes and you can zuzsh the recipes up in "tiers" depending on your confidence and energy. Could be a nice place to start. Also, if you guys have an instant pot, the "beginners instant pot cookbook" is HUGE at helping one learn to cook and not burn shit to a crisp. Again, these are just stepping stones until she's confident enough to try stuff like the oven without killing everyone

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hitlersticklespot@reddit

No, no. She’s got a point.

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curlyquinn02@reddit

Faster isn't always better, though. Tell it to her this way; does she prefer a one-minute man or does she want slow lovemaking that happens throughout the day and lasts all night long?

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BaconJacobs@reddit

Are you married to Amelia Bedelia?

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ACcbe1986@reddit

This is a person who needs a thermometer, timer, and culinary school to fix.

Any chance y'all have a 5year old who can take over the cooking duties in your household?

Honestly, this seems like some minor adjustments can be made to greatly improve her cooking.

That fact that she puts in the work to produce meals is a great place to start from.

Timing and heat control are easy to fix.

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Saul_Firehand@reddit

Can we get more of these insightful tips she has?

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ChuckEweFarley@reddit

Does she have a cooking blog?

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eugeneugene@reddit

The office tenants I take care of think thermostats work like this too. Turn it to 30! It will get warmer quicker! ✨Science ✨

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asyork@reddit

At 30! it doesn't even matter what the temperature unit is. Even the carbon has evaporated.

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LilArtsyCreature@reddit

Your wife was just re-enacting that one scene from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friend's where Bloo attempts the same method baking a batch of cookies. Idk why that scene is locked in as a core memory but it sure taught kid me to never attempt it for fear of setting our kitchen on fire lol.

gif

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AggressivePop9429@reddit

Because fosters home for imaginary friends is an animated masterpiece.

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johnc380@reddit

That’s not really how that works…

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gawdpuppy@reddit

yes bc i too love my food hot and crispy on the outside and cold af in the middle, delicious

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NachoQweeef@reddit

Science! 👩‍🍳

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spncrhly@reddit

Also, you don't even have to cook carrots

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missilefire@reddit

Ahahah my comment was almost identical 😅 Great minds eh?

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Tyezilla@reddit

That's not evidence, that's a crime scene.

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joesbagofdonuts@reddit

This honestly makes me feel so bad for her! If my wife tried and failed to make herself carrots I would cry!!!

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Sargash@reddit

She's not bad she's just dumb and doesn't follow any kind of instructions.

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shittyfoodporn-ModTeam@reddit

Insults towards posters and other commenters will be removed, and you may be banned.

Racism, bigotry and hate of any sort will result in an immediate ban. Bans may be over turned upon appeal.

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RivalGuernica@reddit

Had that sheet pan ever been cleaned?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Yup. The char is from the carrots getting burnt to the pan

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Acewasalwaysanoption@reddit

Nice char

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Rocinante9920@reddit

Burnt ends.

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TDOD1990@reddit

It always kills me when people just crank it on high and throw it in. I had a buddy back in the day who would use the broiler for frozen pizza. Was always burnt and underdone at the same time...

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SnarkyOtterBob@reddit

Drop the recipe queen

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SinkCat69@reddit

Acquire Carrots
Preheat oven to 500F
While oven is preheating, chop your driest carrots and be careful not to get any oil or butter on them.
Bake for 10 minutes and forget to take them out for an additional 20 minutes.
Serve still uncooked on top somehow.

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Cheese_Whiz_Hairgel@reddit

You missed preheating the pan prior. That’s the only way to get the charcoal to raw gradient seen here.

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SnarkyOtterBob@reddit

😭😭😭😭

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Xfuck1tX@reddit

gif

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Bravisimo@reddit

Finally, a good fuckin recipe.

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SnarkyOtterBob@reddit

Sounds about right

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

This took me out 😭

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SnarkyOtterBob@reddit

If she was a Harry Potter character, Rowling would make her Irish lmao

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callmeterr0rish@reddit

Jesus christ. Putting the fact its burt aside.... put some tin foil in that pan. Your arm and pan will thank you if you ever want to get that thing clean.

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yesboss13@reddit

Still alive?

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Simp4Gnomie@reddit

"cooking"

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redditsuckspokey1@reddit

Looks like Goldfish.

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Switchbladesaint@reddit

She’s probably not even bad at cooking, she just doesn’t understand how to properly use heat as a tool. This is pretty common among home cooks.

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Double_Time_@reddit

Excuse me the what with the what and the what

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Hungry-Luck-5481@reddit

It’s not so much the combo, but the excessive amount of said combo.

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nutmac@reddit

At least the hot dog wasn't burnt.

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zach0011@reddit

I'm not bad at driving I'm just bad at using the steering wheel as a tool

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liliasla@reddit

I believe they might be olives? But yeah, that does not make it much better 🙃

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Switchbladesaint@reddit

That’s so much worse.

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Diligent-Committee-7@reddit

Dear god in heaven…I audibly gasped. That has to be ragebait.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Genuinely it isn’t. Her justification was that it’s the same as a pineapple pizza.

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Funkeydote@reddit

If that's the justification, then where's the tomato sauce?

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Diligent-Committee-7@reddit

You poor soul. I’ll burn a glyph for you.

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Vivid_Literature5681@reddit

My other half regularly makes objectively awful food and when I ask if they followed a recipe, the answer is always no. We then both agree that a recipe should be used next time, which never happens.

They also get distracted while cooking and I swear would burn boiled water if they could. Attention disorder personified.

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asyork@reddit

Can't imagine that combo worked, but creativity will eventually get her somewhere with cooking. Maybe a little less creativity with fire though.

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mayortee@reddit

Carrots?

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UntestedMethod@reddit

Bet she burns a mean cookie too

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No_Possession_3883@reddit

What do you mean "carrots for lunch" ? Is your wife a 🐰? 🥕 🥕 🥕

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whyyoufollowingme@reddit

This has to be related to those pancakes I saw earlier

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Separate-Fly5165@reddit

gif

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Long-Rooster-5013@reddit

But why is she roasting carrots with fuel oil?

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Legal_Neck3065@reddit

I thought these were scallops at first in which case she figured out a great recipe for rubber bullets.

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TheConfusedPro@reddit

I think we’re being trolled. OP is really the wife

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

You’re not technically wrong since I’m her wife. Just not the specific wife in question.

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clarky2o2o@reddit

I hope her skills are in the bedroom

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Ok-Onion2905@reddit

Hahaha my mom almost burned her house down last week. I've told her since I was a kid stop turning shit on high, then leave the room completely unattended. She melted, yes, MELTED the fucking pot she used to boil water, I'm afraid she's going to burn her house down one of these days. Back when I was a teenager I woke up to fire alarms and she had made a grease fire, the second I got out there she starts pouring water on it and the flames scorched the ceiling. Sometimes people shouldn't cook, they don't want to take the time to do it right or figure out how to do it right so it's just hit or miss and mostly miss.

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Heuristicrat@reddit

I haven't looked this book over, but the Autism-friendly Cookbook might be helpful. Neuro-spicy folks sometimes benefit from having neuro-typical language translated into something that makes more sense.

(apologies if this has been mentioned)

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ChevalCher@reddit

Thought those were half burnt chicken nuggets. 😬 Gotta give her credit, though. I've never seen anyone burn carrots. That's quite an accomplishment! Not a good one, mind, but one nonetheless. 😂

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pinstash@reddit

🤣 im sure she even used a recipe and still managed to screw it up 🤣

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DontBelieveTheTrollz@reddit

Lowkey roasted carrots with a little bit of brown sugar or honey and salt with cayenne are amazing though.... She just went too long without stirring or flipping them.

Dand now you have me wanting some for dinner.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

No that would’ve been great. That was not this though.

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DontBelieveTheTrollz@reddit

😂 for sure...

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LeadingEfficient420@reddit

Jfc, does her nose not work? This is just sad.

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rpick67@reddit

Throw out the black, crusty baking sheet. Everything is going to burn on that.

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dexties@reddit

Whats your cooking like? Do you offer to cook intead?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Good and yes. I’m the cook in our home.

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ohom2017@reddit

This is just so funny thank you for the laugh!

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dual-ity@reddit

Love me some chocolate covered carrots 😋

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NoOccasion4759@reddit

People like this make me wonder how they graduated school if they can't follow a basic set of directions

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deadlyweapon00@reddit

Ah yes, they’re bad at something. They must be a total dipshit that can barely tie their own shoes.

Shut the fuck up.

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DarDarBinks89@reddit

How do you burn carrots so well they look like uncooked meat on one side?

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TheYanderePrince@reddit

I thought they were tiny chocolate covered donuts at first glance 😔

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No-Temperature4330@reddit

Do you have a gas oven by any chance or an old electric oven with no fan? There's no colour on top but the bottom is cremated. You need to teach her not to position the tray so close to the bottom of the oven where the heat is coming from.

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I-used2B-a-Valkyrie@reddit

Does your wife work at a crematorium?

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Itscatpicstime@reddit

Ngl, this is how I very strongly prefer all my vegetables

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Apprehensive-Ant2141@reddit

She can still turn it around. My cooking was nothing to write home about for the first few years of marriage. Now, I’ve become an intuitive cook and I nail it about 90% of the time.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

I would genuinely love to hear how you did it if you’re comfortable sharing! She really does want to learn to cook but I’m frankly a bad teacher for cooking cause I think “a bit” and “until it’s done” are valid measurements

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Apprehensive-Ant2141@reddit

Trial and error, my guy. Follow several recipes to a t and then after a while start to substitute. Once you have the basics on how to cook the staples, meat, rice, potatoes, certain vegetables, it becomes intuitive.

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HarvestMoonMaria@reddit

Early seasons of worst cooks in America were pretty good. They actually showed lessons

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Holmes221bBSt@reddit

YouTube is actually filled with very good cooking videos. There are even ones with pro chefs that teach simple basics. Check out Chef John. He does a lot of basic meals, not intimidating at all. She just needs to follow recipes very closely. The more she cooks, the better she’ll get. I suggest both of you learn together. It’ll bring you closer and cooking is a skill everyone should have

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sedopolomut@reddit

Have you considered a divorce, OP?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Not even once! She’s my favorite person alive and also should not be allowed near a stove. I married her for her encyclopedic knowledge of 90s/00s rap, not her cooking.

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Delta9THICC@reddit

I said it before and I'll say it again. She is 110% doing it on purpose so you get to a point where you tell her you'll just do it. Weaponized incompetence. Your wife sucks dude.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Not everyone being bad at stuff is weaponized incompetence.

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dlbICECOLD@reddit

I take back my last comment--she's trying to kill you fo sho

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ClassicWhile2451@reddit

Thats how you know this guy’s wife is prob very attractive

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2morrowwillbebetter@reddit

Does she know you’re posting here ?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

She does. She’s laying next to me right now while I read the comments.

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2morrowwillbebetter@reddit

Im honestly surprised at the surprise sapphic reveal. You oughta add some more context to your posts in future cus im ngl it was giving cishet “I hate my wife let me make fun of her” energy lol.

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OhNoImQueerOops@reddit

Or maybe that's how you interpretet the title.

Queer people do not need to announce themselves as queer 24/7. It would be better if people just didn't assume that everyone else is straight and cis.

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2morrowwillbebetter@reddit

I’m also queer, I’m aware. It doesn’t negate from the fact op was posting negatively about her wife’s cookin and it looked bad.

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PhonyPython@reddit

You can be a dickhead and also a woman, their point stands.

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somniopus@reddit

Something about these posts feels so off fr

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2morrowwillbebetter@reddit

Yeah like if OP’s wife isn’t aware he’s posting all these it’s just real dickhead energy tbh.

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AloneFirefighter7130@reddit

I hope you have smoke alarms installed in the house

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OhNoImQueerOops@reddit

You mean the handy roof installed timer that tells you when the food is ready?

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changelingcd@reddit

!They're not charred, they're caramelized!"

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ElleHopper@reddit

Yummy, Teflon carrots! Why is she using metal utensil on nonstick sheet?

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AsterFlauros@reddit

Is your wife okay? Are you okay?

gif

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ArCr56@reddit

I thought those were canele.

I was wrong

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thegiukiller@reddit

Stop subjecting that poor kitchen to her fuckery bro thats enough someone else is eventually going to have to cook in there and its going to be cursed with bad vibes and a smokey oven.

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Der_Richter_SWE@reddit

Wow! Haven’t seen anyone make the legendary fried horse anus pot mix since I left my years as a nomadic outback shaman in Mongolia. Kudos

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glitter_witch@reddit

Never would’ve guessed those started out as carrots. Bless her heart.

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Sammalone1960@reddit

Wife used to burn shit all the time. She just never paid attention to times and temps. Siri set a 6 minute timer. Alexa set a 20 minute timer. Get her some help and it will save you money on groceries. Lmfao

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BertaRocks@reddit

Last thanksgiving I had timers going on Alexa, Siri, and my Fitbit. My mom about lost it, lol

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Sammalone1960@reddit

I do most of the cooking in the house. Mom told me when I was about 9 if I wanted something to taste the way I want cook it myself. Thanksgiving is the only day I do not cook. She has fun with it and runs 2-3 timers to remind her to pull stuff. ✌️

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Outrageous_Emu_5105@reddit

I knew this lady who thought if she didnt burn her food she would be afraid to poison people with undercooked meals... I kid you not

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chipskylark123@reddit

So many home cooks overcook things for that reason.

Pork is the most common I’ve noticed. I didn’t like pork growing up because the only pork I’d ever eaten was massively overcooked and dryer than hell.

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Outrageous_Emu_5105@reddit

Yeah i can totally relate to over cooking pork. But this lady would leave eggs black

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Particular_Legend427@reddit

She sounds very very very stupid

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-janelleybeans-@reddit

If she lets it go just a little bit longer she could turn it into a side hustle selling charcoal nuggets!

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Fallenweeble100@reddit

You monster. Your wife is trying to cook! Encourage her! I promise she will eventually learn from her mistakes and improve.

Speaking as someone who constantly burns green beans, but who is a pretty good cook otherwise

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Anxious_Slip_6079@reddit

This is sending me so hard

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Paperless_Employee47@reddit

She might need a timer

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corntorteeya@reddit

Metal on teflon makes me nervous.

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Admirable_Day664@reddit

I do like a hard sear on my…. Whatever those are.

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-perspicacious_@reddit

Send her back to the wife store and get a refund.

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Ahandsomegray@reddit

Is this the pancake wife?

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badchefrazzy@reddit

Work with her then. If you're better at cooking, guide her. Work together. She has potential because she's putting in effort. Please.

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Trust me, I do. We cook together almost every weekend for meal prep. I grew up cooking and her family mostly microwaved everything, so she just has a lot of gaps in her basic food knowledge and I measure with “some” and “a good amount” so we’re just a bad teacher/student match. Some people recommended some beginner books so we’re planning to try those together.

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PrincessKikkei@reddit

Okay, as someone whose ex managed to start a fire when boiling eggs...

Her cooking skills, mixed with her ADHD, had nothing to do with our breakup. Both of those were reasons why I loved her! So I get 100% get this.

But... Maybe buy a cheese grater and put her on salad duty, just for safety!

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Frequent_Mix_8251@reddit

I’m going to cry tell her that it needs flipping

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

I take partial blame for this one. 😔 I keep forgetting she doesn’t understand cooking and so I’ll just leave and go upstairs while my food is in the oven without thinking to remind her to check her own. By the time I came down to check my food, the carrots were a lost cause.

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EnkiduTheGreat@reddit

Buy this unfortunate soul a steamer basket. I love a sautéed carrot, but this shit looks plain. Steamed is the way if that's the case.

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TeaMugPatina@reddit

What's the...dark stuff?

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Carrot char. I don’t remember what she said she seasoned them with cause she made them a couple weeks ago now, but I’m assuming it’s a mixture of burnt carrot, whatever seasoning she used, and no oil.

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alwaysmorecumin@reddit

Does she think she has to kill the carrots before eating them? Common mistake, but they’re harmless. Hope this helps

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StevenEll@reddit

I mean you can just hit them with a hammer, using heat is unethical

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asistolee@reddit

This has me cackling lol

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ArDee0815@reddit

Tell her to look up low temperature cooking, as well as steaming and crock pots. They‘re incredibly low effort cooking methods.

No more burned carrots. It hurts my heart. 🥲

You can fry up steamed veggies to give them that singe without having to worry whether they‘re done yet. That way you just have to stop frying once they‘ve achied the proper color.

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Vegetable-Hippo-2971@reddit

Hello? What is on the left! Is that grapes and salmon? Or are those the tiniest fingerlings I’ve ever seen?

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EmployerUpstairs8044@reddit

Oooooh chocolate peanut butter rounds!!!!

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DrumpfTinyHands@reddit

Then cook for yourself. See? Simple resolution! Don't like her cooking? You cook!

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Difficult-Survey8384@reddit

She cooked this for her own lunch and didn’t like it, but wants to like it, because she wants to be good at cooking.

Some things are in jest with your partner because there will inevitably be fuckups on your journey to mastering something you’re aware you’re not good at.

Js not everything is malicious!

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Thank you! It’s very strange to me the negative assumptions I’m seeing. My wife is a bad cook and also has a sense of humor. She knows she’s bad, but wants to be decent because she wants to be able to cook for me - I didn’t think I needed to provide a complete history of our relationship dynamics in order to post bad food in the bad food subreddit.

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DrumpfTinyHands@reddit

What's the phrase?

"Get in the kitchen and make (her) a sandwich" otherwise, quiet you, stop farming fake internet points by mocking your wife and not actually offering a solution. You are a married man, act like it.

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Difficult-Survey8384@reddit

It really is just such a hallmark of the Reddit experience to have someone make the worst possible assumptions about your life, intentions, character, loved ones, etc. off the most innocuous posts or comments.

I once mentioned how my husband gave a woman a ride to town in the summer heat because she was walking in a bad area, and someone piped up to let me know he’s actually a predator who selects for vulnerable women and exchanges rides for the sexual exploitation of them…

Once commented in a thread about pelvic floor disorders saying I have one that makes intimacy painful, and was “informed” by a random reply that I was obviously being cheated on since I can’t regularly…yk. Told me the fact that I don’t know who’s fulfilling my man is “a ticking time bomb.”

Yeaaaah. Lmao. Reddit. 🫡

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burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)

Weird assumption that I don’t cook, especially considering my several comments about the fact that I do most of the cooking. Very strange of you. Sincerely hope your day doesn’t continue with this energy.

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