Wasn’t feeling well so my wife made me breakfast in bed
Posted by burgerbingbettuce@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 437 comments
Posted by burgerbingbettuce@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 437 comments
Personal_Sundae_@reddit
Nothing a lot of syrup won't fix
Prior_Talk_7726@reddit
That looks yummy! NOT!! 🤢
crunchyteeths@reddit
Its called caramelizing
Redsavina2080@reddit
It's called burned beyond recognition.
Redsavina2080@reddit
Your wife does NOT know how to cook AT ALL.
Gumnutbaby@reddit
I assume your narrative is backwards
CorrectDiver2248@reddit
MA, MAN OF THE YEAR !
Beneficial-Amoeba476@reddit
You’re a lucky man
erikivy@reddit
Did you thank her?
petewondrstone@reddit
Maybe you were sick from last nights dinner
Lightskinsolider@reddit
Take a few bites, im sure you feel better 😄
Intelligent_Let_2318@reddit
Now I know why you’re not feeling well 😂
National-Garbage505@reddit
Bless her heart
My_Favourite_Pen@reddit
every post here is now the same thing
"hey guys one of my beloved family members (its secretly me) made this food for me, shit on them".
No-Beautiful5866@reddit
She’s just trying to finish you off while you’re already weak. Watch out!
drsmith48170@reddit
She loves you, she loves you…..not!
farmgirl1786@reddit
My thoughts exactly
EL3MENTALIST@reddit
“Honey, why does the syrup smell like almonds?”
Synlover123@reddit
💀😭
ElegantCoach4066@reddit
That's just the almond flavored cyanide syrup dear.
HedonicAbsurdist@reddit
Stop, stop! It's already dead!
ldssggrdssgds@reddit
You win the comment of the day!
Automatic-Jello5995@reddit
I know a good divorce lawyer message me
AlpaChino87@reddit
I thought these were turtles...
billiemarie@reddit
She tried dude
OcityChick@reddit
Straight to divorce court tv
Ok_Acanthisitta3446@reddit
Those will make you feel better fast!
dgreddit14@reddit
thupkt@reddit
"the more things change, the more they stay the same" is the fortune cookie message with this meal
Far_Palpitation_8107@reddit
She hates you. Sorry. 😂😂😂
sirprize_surprise@reddit
What did the other side look like?
TheShy_Seeker@reddit
hmm
ResponseEastern4062@reddit
Wow you wife is hot !
ddmf@reddit
Activated charcoal to suck out the bad.
CreeepyUncle@reddit
My ex OD’d and that’s what they gave her.
No syrup though.
She pulled through.
Reasonable-Tune50@reddit
You only induce vomiting on the advice of poison control and doctors though. /s
CreeepyUncle@reddit
Yes. Great advice! Thank you!
She was in the ER.
They pumped charcoal down her throat in a tube . I do not recall her vomiting. I think the charcoal was to absorb the drugs.
Synlover123@reddit
That's exactly what it was for! I went through the same thing with a co-worker/friend who was going through a nasty divorce. She lived in the apartment building across the street from me, and called me to say goodbye. Fortunately, I had dual landlines (this was waaay before cellphones), so I was able to call 911, while trying to keep her talking at the same time. Gotta say - it was scary af. I followed the ambulance, and could hear her puking for what seemed like hours, from my chair in the waiting room. Then came the diarrhea. Very stinky diarrhea 😖
CreeepyUncle@reddit
Wow!
My ex went through a nasty divorce too. It was a few years later, though.
Upbeat_Stretch_5724@reddit
With a hint of carcinogens for flavor.
ddmf@reddit
Puts hair on your chest.
Alternative_Avatar@reddit
And takes it off your head
ddmf@reddit
ooooooft!!! brutal.
_name_of_the_user_@reddit
And on the cancerous moles.
fariqcheaux@reddit
Or thin wirey tumors
Murky_Tennis954@reddit
n_daughter@reddit
Matches the bedding too! Everyone's so creative!
cryingpotato49@reddit
I thought these were turtles.
ddmf@reddit
Definitely a hint of mutant
Kueltalas@reddit
Freshly activated by the stove
nbury33@reddit
That's what I was thinking!
mumooshka@reddit
welp charcoal is good ?
jerjord@reddit
Maybe if you added gravy or syrup, it would be more edible.
DrSnacks@reddit
Bit early for grilled portabellos but good on her for... wait a minute...
denn1959-Public_396@reddit
Bet that got you out of bed
Prezevere@reddit
Are those supposed to be pancakes?
JMHeroe13@reddit
Saw this post while eating my burnt pancakes lol. It's not that bad if you eat it with milk.
rcinmd@reddit
That's so thoughtful of her, I hope you're posting this because you realize what a wonderful partner you have.
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Oh I do - she’s my best friend and my number one crush since we were 15. She is also a menace in the kitchen but loves me too much to stop.
Tricksaturn@reddit
who is your number two crush
PugGrumbles@reddit
That's adorable AF and I hope you ladies have been enjoying the funny comments and ignoring the shit.
naka-duskael@reddit
Is that what you call that burnt mess lol.
HersheyGurl@reddit
Shit like that is prolly why you sick tho
whimsicalwanderer27@reddit
I mean its the thought that counts
eggsncanadianbacon@reddit
A pile of butter and syrup and I'm good to go. I love burnt pancakes 🥞
Equivalent_Click4254@reddit
How are they burnt and still look undercooked
chocobolamo@reddit
you are allowed to say no. if she gets mad and gets upset at you for saying something she is being manipulative.
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Yall gotta stop saying stuff like this in the bad food subreddit. I don’t need relationship advice when I’m posting the silly little hockey pucks my wife made for me
chocobolamo@reddit
yes you do. your defensiveness is a shame response.
CuriousBabyGoat@reddit
Give credit where credit is due... the woman is consistent. She made sure that first one wasn't gonna be moist in the middle, and, upon seeing her handiwork, continued to cook aggressively through 3 more. That's a woman you can count on.
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
I thought this was a plate of turtles
mehggss@reddit
lmao fr i definitely didn’t see those as pancakes for the first couple seconds 🤣
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
So many people keep saying this but neither of us can see it! My wife even took off her glasses to try to see turtles. Feeling left out
captainzaro@reddit
I thought turtles instantly when I first saw the post from my peripheral view, if that helps. Once I looked at the picture directly, it went away.
ChaoticxSerenity@reddit
The top left one looks like the underside of a turtle's shell.
Compare to: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ramon-Mascort/publication/331262347/figure/fig1/AS:728881208258561@1550790230860/Dark-plastron-of-the-three-young-males-and-pale-one-of-the-two-year-old-juvenile-shown-on.ppm
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
I saw it scrolling really fast on feed lol. I guess it's a good thing you only see pancakes?
WillowFlip@reddit
Yeah, same lol
SocietyEntire2839@reddit
My brain registered mushrooms before focusing
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
I can see that
Dreamybook1357@reddit
Hahaha I thought this was r/turtle for a second too
redditsuckspokey1@reddit
4 black, definitely not ninja turtles.
TeH_Venom@reddit
Boiled turtle guy should try frying it for once
OneManNati0n@reddit
Now I can smell turtles.
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
Yuck. I know it's not their fault but that marshy, moldy, must is gross.
jan1320@reddit
they smell like algae
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
I don't how to how to describe that smell other than salty/oceanic because that's what I associate algae with. Would vegetal be a better word?
Cheekahbear@reddit
Okay. Whew. I’m not the only one.
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
Pancakes that look like turtle shells seem to be a common thing on this sub
Cheekahbear@reddit
I have so many more questions. Because I’ve lived to an advanced age and totally charcoaled many a pancake. Pancakes are like marriages, no shame and tossing out the first one. But I’ve never created turtle cakes.
Practical-Cow-4564@reddit
$10 says an interrupting phone was at play here
Ill-Wear-8662@reddit
I have burned one pancake that I can recall and the rest were turned into undercooked pancake mush when turning them over didn't work very well.
LipstickJungle2025@reddit
So did i
thetruegmon@reddit
She says "get the fuck out of bed"
ThatLink4097@reddit
I prefer my pancakes a bit burnt. Those look perfect.
SP_Halpern@reddit
Apparently your wife doesn't like you too much. I'll bet you will start feeling better if you don't eat her food.
INTELLIGENTENTITY@reddit
So you are still not feeling well...ok😏😏😏👌👌
JonboyKoi@reddit
Its the thought that counts i guess. I would feed it to the dog, fucking gross.
Odd_Debate1785@reddit
Naah they look fine….
Omega_Division@reddit
She hates you.
Mushrooming247@reddit
Aw, on the plus side you have a wife and she loves you, you are doing better than most Redditors.
SoftEverywhere1999@reddit
I thought these were mushrooms
i-am-your-god-now@reddit
She tried. ❤️ Or she hates you. One of those.
bruhyerpantsaredown@reddit
Give it back
Difficult_Pepper_954@reddit
Why they gotta be black? Dats Raysis!
BNE-@reddit
Aww!! 🥰
State_Conscious@reddit
No. she did not
Available-Spinach663@reddit
Did she also slap you and pour syrup over your head? Are you cheating on her?
StomachSoup@reddit
TF???
Irishgreen24@reddit
You need to get the fuck out of bed. 👿
Mobile_Aioli_6252@reddit
How do you ya want your pancakes done? Light or dark?
cocoahugo@reddit
Just soak it in maple syrup. The combined taste of burnt pancakes and sweet syrup is actually nice. At least for me. ✌🏼👍🏻
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
She said the same thing. For some reason she is like oddly not bothered by the taste of burnt food - she quite enjoyed them at least.
theflamingskull@reddit
Did she eat your breakfast?
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Kinda. She took the burnt peels and I ate the insides because I couldn’t handle the acrid aftertaste and she didn’t mind it
cocoahugo@reddit
Hope you feel better soon. 👍🏻
rokstedy83@reddit
I would advise a pre soak also ,soften them up a bit
generatorland@reddit
No she didn't.
BLSd_RN17@reddit
Well, it's the thought that counts, I guess?
National_Welder7175@reddit
Id eat your wifes pancakes 😏😂
julilynn1217@reddit
🤣🤣
lion8me@reddit
They say presentation is everything :)
panthercock@reddit
How did she burn ALL of them. Like I might burn one then turn the temp down and try again
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
I asked her when she brought them and the best we could figure out is she didn’t have my fat in the stainless steel pan and started it on high heat. She said she turned it down after the first one burned, but I think she maybe didn’t wait long enough for it to cool combined with no fat? I still don’t fully understand, but she did her best.
iownreddit0690@reddit
Well we all know why you're sick, if she cooks like that lol
GoldConsequence6375@reddit
I think she wants you to mow the lawn.
Separate-Fly5165@reddit
redheadedandbold@reddit
God bless her. Low heat and patience is the key to pancakes. I usually do some piecemeal work while I make pancakes (empty the dishwasher, sweep the floor, clean out the vegetable drawer...) so I'm not standing there watching them constantly.
Ringadean@reddit
Well that’s not gonna help
Clams_N_Scallops@reddit
Lucky you.
I was with my ex-wife for 6 years and she almost never cooked. When I had covid she said she'd bring me home some soup and when the restaurant didn't have the soup I asked for she brought me home nothing instead. I walked outside and down to the basement to get a can of emergency soup and heated it up myself while she got stoned on the couch.
Oh, and when I had a horrible pain in my abdomen she told me I was just being a pussy. After a sleepless night in agony I drove MYSELF to the hospital in the morning and had an emergency appendectomy.
At least I only wasted 6 years and not more. She was heartless.
Crowiswatching@reddit
You must have married my ex. The smoke alarm was my dinner bell.
Sad-Rush-9119@reddit
Burnt is just another flavour.
Ruby_Soho-@reddit
Guess she wanted to remind you, it can always get worse - lol. At least she tried
NaeeNae23@reddit
She could’ve order IHOP and just slid it on a real plate 😂
UWO_Throw_Away@reddit
Uh, well, at least she tried
lotusfrommud68@reddit
It’s the thought that counts!
DivineRadiance83@reddit
Get a new wife
Raverntx@reddit
No drink? Yeah that’s your end bro, that’s premeditated.
Fuzzy974@reddit
Maybe she should stay in the kitchen and not come to bed after pouring the batter in the pan.
Additional_Sleep_673@reddit
She buttered up the charcoal on top perfectly !
Forsaken-Scholar-833@reddit
I mean they look like they would be edible. I'd laugh and make a little fun of my wife then thank her and eat them.
Mountain-Orange8996@reddit
But as a guy we smile, take it, eat every bite and ask for more. To all the single dudes out there welcome to the first year of marriage. It sometimes gets better.
GoodMeBadMeNotMe@reddit
This is what pancakes always looked like in my household growing up, so I don’t totally understand the strong reaction here. They’re not great, but I’d rather eat this than dig around the kitchen while I’m sick.
digital_ghost7@reddit
Consider yourself lucky. My ex didn’t believe in refrigerating eggs. And made me breakfast.
Agitated-tone-50@reddit
You would think the sheets would make the pancakes look not as dark but no.
Money-Biscotti6680@reddit
She either doesn't eat or real mad
AVeryHeavyBurtation@reddit
... Or doesn't cook.
Agitated-Result-4029@reddit
Just like moms.
kayak_2022@reddit
She didn't intend for you to ever get up again.
ChevalCher@reddit
It's the thought that counts. 😅 Get well soon!
JoeGuglielmucci@reddit
Elephant scabs
Rightdoer1010@reddit
I think was not really happy you’re weak. She wanted you to starve and heal fast.
AdRemarkable2995@reddit
I thought it was four turtles 🤣🤣🤣
City2049@reddit
She's about to put you down dawg
Physical-Reward-9148@reddit
Make her eat it first. First bite bestie.
FucksPineapples@reddit
"wasn't feeling well, I now feel even worse"
MikeFrancesa66@reddit
Did she cook these in Mount Doom or something?
kmanrsss@reddit
Did she make dinner also? No wonder you weren’t feeling well
Late_Friendship8739@reddit
that’s about as good as i can do 😂 #wifepancakegoals
willmgames1775@reddit
I’ve never had crispy pancakes, but now I am interested.
True-Atmosphere-9938@reddit
You’ll feel better after you puke
dlbICECOLD@reddit
Just imagining you pretending to be grateful then running to reddit as soon as she leaves the room to vent. You get what you deserve
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Very strange thing to imagine of a stranger. She was with me when I posted it and I didn’t pretend to be grateful - I’m very grateful to have a wife who cares enough to keep trying to be there for me when I need it and she knows that.
StaticSystemShock@reddit
Well, if you have any digestion problems, all this charcoal might actually help...
Enough-Acanthaceae32@reddit
Damn. I would divorce her NOW
Mysterious_Gift6339@reddit
You have a good wife, who may just need a few cooking lessons. It’s the thought that counts!!
Due_Response_8309@reddit
Bless her heart
Daznox@reddit
Heard it's harder to taste poison in burnt food, good luck 🤞
GramsFuneralPyre@reddit
She clearly loves you.
Unable_Stress_6169@reddit
She don’t like you. 😭
anonymous_subroutine@reddit
Considering how many people can't cook I'm thinking it's time to bring back home ec class to high schools
Sad_Plane_3184@reddit
Maybe she can’t cook 🤷♀️
Jimbiino7@reddit
Aww she shouldn’t have
Sogah87@reddit
I'm not sure she likes you.
KEMIZOH@reddit
Your last meal, you mean?
LonelySparkle@reddit
She wants you to feel worse
Tribe_PG@reddit
Looks like she was pissed at you them things is crispy lol hahaha
BeerJunky@reddit
Time for a new wife. The
michalzpl@reddit
Well done pancakes
TheSignificantDong@reddit
Bet she can’t wait for her anniversary dinner. Toasted, crunchy ribeye, with a cup of liquid mashed potatoes
Specialist_Mousse789@reddit
Some people like em like that
Buglepost@reddit
She’s just showing you how things could be worse. She COULD cook for you every day.
See? Not so bad now, huh?
RadiantCamel5707@reddit
I'm assuming you're the cook in the family. At least she tried. Like they say it's the thought that counts.
Early_End2039@reddit
Just tell her it’s good
Illustrious-Towel-45@reddit
She tried
Amiro77@reddit
If you've been eating what she's been cooking then I know why you're not feeling well.
Silver_Transition676@reddit
She really doesn't like you or is the worst cook in America
DooderMcDuder@reddit
No, she didn’t
perditaprincess@reddit
GilleyD@reddit
She tried.
CheekVirtual6369@reddit
She’s testing to see if you’ll get up and make breakfast yourself.
elammcknight@reddit
Did she burn the comforter too?
BesiegedKing@reddit
She hates you bruh 😩
Mr_Saturn1@reddit
Did they at least balance out by being raw batter in the center?
mrmaxstroker@reddit
Ah, the classic “fuck you” pancakes.
HahaNoir2@reddit
Is that what she called it?
dustyknees_@reddit
she wants you in bed forever
CD-Gerri@reddit
Nothing says love like burnt pancakes
T1Gg3rN1ts@reddit
Fuck her asshole without lube
shittyfoodporn-ModTeam@reddit
Insults towards posters and other commenters will be removed, and you may be banned.
Racism, bigotry and hate of any sort will result in an immediate ban. Bans may be over turned upon appeal.
RedditReader4031@reddit
Charcoal is good for settling the stomach.
Starbucket88@reddit
Like they say, if you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen 😁
Candycanes02@reddit
I- it’s the thought that counts…
HandCoversBruises@reddit
What was she thinking?
klimocohc@reddit
How do I make this look like an accident?
TaitsRevenge@reddit
He would be better off starving than eating this abomination
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Dude, I’m not sure what your beef with my wife is - it’s very much not that serious. My wife loves me and is a bad cook - it’s that simple. She tried her best and I appreciate everything she does for me. We had a good laugh about it and I wanted to share it with other people.
PotentialDifficult62@reddit
I love that you keep coming in to call this person out lol.
I was thinking the same thing though, like..... are they okay? Do they know your wife personally? Are they an alien that's never been around people before? Fucking weird lol.
I like my pancakes a little crispy, personally lol. And that was sweet of her to even think to make you breakfast in bed. I've messed up a meal or two for my husband and he's happily ate it. He always says "babe, you care enough to make me something I like and I don't have to make it myself." Which is really the whole point, right?
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
I just find it genuinely very odd how upset burnt pancakes and carrots have made people. If I had known it would be this controversial I would’ve reconsidered sharing lol
I consider eating messed up food its own love language
W0nderingMe@reddit
You and your wife are the cutest.
-perspicacious_@reddit
That guy left SEVEN comments because he’s so offended! Jeeeez.
Dunstund_CHeks_IN@reddit
It really doesn’t sometimes.
Eng-Grammar-Police@reddit
She’s trying!
Born-Cartographer-79@reddit
Wifey must have forgotten the hotcakes while on the phone
Powerful_Peace_78@reddit
Mit sehr viel Liebe verbrannt 😂
AnAmbitiousMann@reddit
She actually served that? Holy shit she must secretly hate you.
Architect17@reddit
I thought those were turtles on their backs at first
MintWarfare@reddit
I thought they were correctly orientated turtles, but just coloured like that.
Queenpitbull202@reddit
Did she cook it in an active volcano😳
jkurts91@reddit
🤣 get up, do it right. Lay back down. Don't say a word.
Relevant-Drive6946@reddit
I think she wants you to get well now, and make your own breakfast.
LuciferJj@reddit
You must’ve been in the doghouse as well
operatoryninja@reddit
Carcinogen pancakes.
What did you do?
NovaBooPlusTwo@reddit
Awwwww I’d be so thrilled if my fiance did this for me with his zero cooking skills.
Diligent-Bed3370@reddit
Soon to be featured on "medical detectives - the reddit murderer"
rupan777@reddit
Death scrolling by, I thought those were turtles
EvolvingEcologist@reddit
You sure you got the order of events right there?
SBJames69@reddit
What do you use for a stove, Mount Doom?
scfw0x0f@reddit
Butter and syrup, would totally hit that.
ISLAndBreezESTeve10@reddit
Pass the butter and blueberry syrup….. gonna smash this.
CFeatsleepsexrepeat@reddit
r/therewasanattempt
floppy_breasteses@reddit
She's a keeper. Eat up and smile. It's an extremely rare woman who will do this at all, even more rare when it's clearly not something she's good at.
DeLaNope@reddit
She has one of those fuckass glass top stoves and needs to turn the heat down.
custardBust@reddit
Has she ever seen edible food?
Status_Job_2854@reddit
Maybe while she's making breakfast in bed she should increase her frequency of visits to the kitchen.
Quiet_Impact9420@reddit
Next time ask her to make it in the kitchen then bring it to your bed.
Nu11nV01D@reddit
Now you feel worse
Ok-Journalist3208@reddit
She doesn’t want you to make it out of there
Catnipfish@reddit
She’s taking care of you. Interpret that however you like.
BAMspek@reddit
Bless her she’s trying
TaitsRevenge@reddit
You call this trying? If she was trying she would have threw this abomination in the garbage and remade the pancakes or at least tried to remake them. Serving this mess to her sick husband shows how little she gives a shit imo
Cormholio@reddit
I don’t think you’ve seen OPs other posts about their wife’s eating habits, I think they translate to her cooking in a way. Also, some people just have difficulty cooking or are neurodivergent and have challenges focusing on one thing. Send link to the perfection class please 🙏🏼
PotentialDifficult62@reddit
Dawg, chill lol.
blackholespiral@reddit
Is she though..?
badchefrazzy@reddit
Yes. The burning while the rest of it is so pale means she doesn't know the temperature to cook them at, which tells me she's either a beginner or hasn't cooked before, and was trying to do something nice for her SO when they weren't feeling well. That's a big ol' green flag to me. <3
Useless890@reddit
A little butter and syrup will fix that right up.
Living-Aardvark-705@reddit
Well done.
Deep_Banana_6521@reddit
your wife clearly hates you.
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
I wish it was that simple. We love each other very much - she is just profoundly horrible at cooking.
ActorMonkey@reddit
No patience. Why let the pan heat up on medium when I can crank it to high and burn the food twice as fast?
Mudhol3@reddit
Dude I’m in the same boat. She is the best lady I have ever met. But man is she dangerous in the kitchen. She somehow can never follow a recipe, and just decides to skip and add steps. Then gets upset when it doesn’t turn out well haha.
alwaysmorecumin@reddit
Mine doesn’t taste anything until the dish is done. I had to take a second to process when she first told me. Isn’t that a huge part of cooking?? To be fair, I’m not harping on her. Just wondering what happens to some people when they step foot in a kitchen
Mudhol3@reddit
Hahah I’m on night shift and cracking up right now. Mine does the EXACT same thing! I’ll get home from work when she’s just finished cooking something and I’ll ask how it tastes, to be met with an I don’t know. Like what?!? I don’t ask questions anymore.
She doesn’t even stir the yoghurt or peanut butter either. Her mother is English so I guess it’s hereditary
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
That’s hilarious because my wife’s mother was also English. I’m connecting the dots…
alwaysmorecumin@reddit
Now I’m cracking up 😂 you do truly get it. We stay quiet and we mind our business!
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Oh the best person in my life, hands down. I have watched her follow the most simple, straightforward recipe to the tee and still churn out a war crime.
jfk_47@reddit
Then it’s extra sweet. Feed these to the dog and tell her they were delicious
ForwardAd575@reddit
What did you do to her?
jan1320@reddit
you weren't feeling well before or after the breakfast?
pinstash@reddit
I more of a meat man when it comes to things I like barbecued 🤣
IAmNotGordon@reddit
Well, if the char on these is deep enough, you could use it as activated charcoal and maybe make your stomach feel better. Otherwise, A for intent, F for execution.
thepretzel24@reddit
Firecakes
AnakinsAngstFace@reddit
Now you’re feeling worse
tempting-carrot@reddit
Well we know you didn’t marry her for the cooking.
wburn42167@reddit
And now you feel worse?
himsaad714@reddit
I think she hates you
BigTrouble781547@reddit
Say thank you and be thankful
Both-Mud-4362@reddit
Well it's time to make your own food from now on, just tk be safe. Afterall, the leading murder method of men in marriage is poison hidden in food.
Fivemagics369@reddit
It’s the thought that counts.
IslandTime4L@reddit
Uh oh, what’d ya do last night?
CatFoodBeerAndGlue@reddit
Damn, what did you do to piss her off?
Ecstatic_Function709@reddit
The first one cooked will always be darker, but not all of them. wtf is wrong with her?
Kimberlylynn2003@reddit
Maybe it’s Cajun pancake?
Massive-Handz@reddit
divorce. Straight to the courthouse!
spirittransformed2@reddit
She hates you
dsmooth74@reddit
She trying to finish you off??
Ok_Decision4163@reddit
Now you feeling worse
OrangeClyde@reddit
It’s the thought that counts 🥹 and I think she’s trying to collect the life insurance 👀
Forward_Ad_6575@reddit
How did this make you feel?
InterestingAmoeba797@reddit
Would not complain here man. Other wives would be out doing some stupid shit
FantaFanatic411@reddit
Trying to take your to bed, your deathbed
tabruss@reddit
It’s the thought that counts…
TaitsRevenge@reddit
Not to mention she somehow burned them and left them raw in the middle…like how is that possible? Do you know how trash of a cook you must be to do something like that? I couldn’t do that even if I tried, idk how you can manage to fuck something as easy as pancakes up this bad.
EndOfTheWxrld@reddit
you deserve to post every meal you cook for the rest of your life, regardless of how inelegant or unskilled it makes you look.
Pleasedontcallmymom@reddit
And now life is worse 🤣🤣
HeckTheCat@reddit
An attempt was made
Nice_Ad_777@reddit
It's the thought that counts
screenrecycler@reddit
Acrylamide cakes
Cosmo_1967@reddit
Damn! You're going to feel a lot worse after that breakfast
Practical-Cow-4564@reddit
I know a good Divorce lawyer...
awildandcrazyguy1993@reddit
What did you say to her?
Key-Philosopher-8050@reddit
Definitely a keeper - breakfast WITH a sense of surrounding fashion.
Alnilam99@reddit
You need a new bed oven.
TaitsRevenge@reddit
All I can say is for your sake I hope she is the bread winner or at least works as much as you bc if she is a stay at home wife and doesn’t do anything all day then this is extremely unacceptable on her part. I’m a guy and even I know how to make pancakes, how tf can you not cook the easiest thing in the world without absolutely destroying it? And the fact she thought it was ok to serve you this abomination shows how little she gives a shit. I would definitely have a serious talk with her after this if I was you, both parties in the relationship should be providing value for one and other even when it comes to something so minor as cooking. Like I said I really hope she works full time bc that’s the only way I would let this slide
shittyfoodporn-ModTeam@reddit
Insults towards posters and other commenters will be removed, and you may be banned.
Racism, bigotry and hate of any sort will result in an immediate ban. Bans may be over turned upon appeal.
Cosmowalnuts@reddit
Tell her smoke detectors are not timers.
AlaskanElroy@reddit
Is she mad at you?
HeyDave72@reddit
Sorry dude.
kumquatsurprise@reddit
Charcakes! My favorite
autumnstarrfish@reddit
Whatever you've got, she's trying to help you get it out of your system proactively! She LOVES you!
BigSal44@reddit
I’m guessing you didn’t marry her for her cooking talent.
chipmunk1776@reddit
I, too, enjoy seeing my ball-sack pressed against the underside of my plate.
LB777_1021@reddit
I think I know why you are not feeling well.
RelaxedBlueberry@reddit
So, are you feeling any better?
theCOMBOguy@reddit
That's... lovely! It's the thought that counts.
RPG_add1ct@reddit
Has she been cooking for you for a while because if so, I may have discovered the answer to all your problems.
apprehensive-look-02@reddit
You better thank her rn
CashgrassorNopass@reddit
Bruh. One of those times where you just have to swallow it.
numbero-43@reddit
This is to make a point that things could be worse. 😅
jenn2x@reddit
Lil overdone but thought that counts? Feel better
bong-drinker@reddit
Never seen pancakes cooked “Pittsburg rare”. Burnt to a char yet somewhat raw.
RogueSpiritz@reddit
whatd you do to deserve this?
ophaus@reddit
Wish I could get sear like that on my steak.
ArwalHassan@reddit
I take it she isn't used to cooking, props to her for at least trying
bong-drinker@reddit
I’d call the police
SalamanderBulky2584@reddit
So what was for dinner? Lol
Playful-Raccoon-9662@reddit
Does she like you?
RepresentativeFast59@reddit
Update: he feels worse now
tielles10@reddit
The carrot post popped up just before this one, I just knew it was the same person 😭
Vacation_Amazing@reddit
You will have said thank you if you know whats good for you... :)
unfunnymom@reddit
Does she hate you?
angry-key-smash6693@reddit
Damn, is she homophobic 💔?
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Yea 😔
dr_strange-love@reddit
She only took 1 cooking class, and it was about steaks
Tacocat2021@reddit
Even though they are burnt, if someone did this for me, I would be riding that high for the rest of the week.
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
Oh she’s genuinely the sweetest most wonderful partner - treats me like a queen constantly. I’m always very touched by her cooking attempts even if I simply cannot eat them some of the time.
StrongStyleShiny@reddit
They look good. The heat is just turned a touch too high. A little lower and they’d cook through while being more brown.
Bruinman86@reddit
Apocalyptic pancakes! The end is near. In all seriousness, she ment well. I’d eat them anyway.
LilMeatBigYeet@reddit
Is the breakfast in the bed w us ?
StrongStyleShiny@reddit
Anyone making pancakes that look like this turn your heat down. I keep mine at a 4/10. It’ll cook but you want to get it to cook through before burning on the outside.
Thatzmister2u@reddit
Cajun blackened flap jacks! Yum!
Sorry-Visit-6743@reddit
A little butter, a little syrup, they'll be fine
ParkFalse3323@reddit
Was she in bed in the kitchen?
vtv43ketz@reddit
Well, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Patient-Principle-21@reddit
I can taste the burnt taste with sirup lol
PacificCastaway@reddit
I don't think she likes you, bruh.
Hot-Refrigerator6583@reddit
She's not a bad cook, just motivating you to get better and make your own breakfast.
TaitsRevenge@reddit
If she’s the bread winner or works full time then yeah I agree he can cook his own food. However if she isn’t working and is a stay at home wife/mom (idk if they have kids) then she should absolutely know how to cook for him. Idk why people nowadays think women cooking for their husband is a bad thing or somehow degrading. I have seen people say what you just did to men who work all day while their wife or gf just sit at home doing nothing which I think is insanely fucked up. It isn’t about gender either I would be saying the same shit if he was the one staying home doing nothing while she went to work. You should be able to do something to provide value in the relationship even something so little as cooking
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
No he or husbands here.
ratafia4444@reddit
Why you call your husband wife? 😂
LipstickJungle2025@reddit
Oh
EntertainmentOwn5092@reddit
Ha...gayyyy
hoffman-@reddit
Thought this was a pile of turtles at first sorry
bunnyhotdog@reddit
This is what I would make my partner if I hated them
Relevant_Writer3980@reddit
Who's a lucky boy?!
A_PartTime_Astronaut@reddit
At a quick glance this is four turtles
Peterdejong1@reddit
Activated charcoal is a smart choice because it adsorbs toxins and gases in the stomach and intestines, which helps you feel better more quickly.
PurpleIreneD@reddit
The insides of those are just fine. Peel them.
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
That’s genuinely what we ended up doing. She smothered the burnt peels in syrup and had a great time.
PurpleIreneD@reddit
Nice ☺ I wish I had someone to make me burnt pancakes
Desperate_Ad5169@reddit
I would fucking devour these. I actually like my pancakes crispy.
DipDipDonut@reddit
She literally made breakfast in bed
istoomycat@reddit
Have to wonder if the last time she told you she wasn’t feeling well, you told her to walk it off! 😂😂
TeaMugPatina@reddit
I usually make breakfast in the kitchen, not the cave.
hudson_valley_chef@reddit
There are some parts that aren't burned..... 😁🤣
TaitsRevenge@reddit
That’s what I’m saying. Do you know how terrible of a cook you have to be to achieve that? I don’t think I could do this even if I tried, like how do you fuck something so simple as pancakes up this bad?
DiscoBunny404@reddit
They're burnt and raw.
TaitsRevenge@reddit
Yeah like how is that even possible? Do you know how bad of a cook you have to be to do that? Insane
LipstickJungle2025@reddit
Burnt and yet still raw....lol 😆
last-of-the-mohicans@reddit
😂
mkstot@reddit
You eat one maybe one and a half of those, then say you’re weren’t very hungry, but you love her and appreciate the effort, got it?
New-Load-651@reddit
Sounds like hell
Ant_Bizzy@reddit
I thought these were seared baby turtle shells
EmployerUpstairs8044@reddit
That's EXACTLY WHAT I SAWWWWWW
ukrinsky555@reddit
Next time try 375 for 30 seconds per side instead of surface of the sun for 5 minutes.
chris00ws6@reddit
Fuck it. Throw some butter and syrup on it and I would send it.
EmployerUpstairs8044@reddit
I love a flapblack with peanut butter and syrup
TikiJeff@reddit
I can see why you don't feel well.
SinkCat69@reddit
I think she’s trying to do you in
Goodthrust_8@reddit
So you're still feeling bad huh?
badchefrazzy@reddit
That's not shitty food... she made an effort for you while you were sick... :(
LuigiOma@reddit
She’s doing her best!
nohumanape@reddit
Is she not the cook in the family or does she often cook with too much heat?
burgerbingbettuce@reddit (OP)
I’m the cook and she goes between too much and not enough heat.
FillMySoupDumpling@reddit
Did she add sugar to the batter? That can also burn faster.
A clear plate in bed makes the thumbnail look like she just threw pancakes on the bed
nohumanape@reddit
Same here. And yeah, my wife pretty much does the same.
Wooden_University677@reddit
Bet you wish you’d had shutted the fuck up about being hungry now huh
Surply_slurp@reddit
At least its in bed thats something
LipstickJungle2025@reddit
Well, his death bed though?
Personal-Pressure484@reddit
Idk- i think they're ok- cover it with syrup
Perfect-Librarian895@reddit
I’m so sorry.
LipstickJungle2025@reddit
Bwahaha does she hate ya?
InternalChampion7105@reddit
Did she serve it to you on a microwave turntable?
Dick-Punch89@reddit
At least the dogs have some new frisbees to play with.
blackleydynamo@reddit
When it's brown, it's cooked.
When it's black, it's fucked.
wassupmyninjas796@reddit
Is that Nutella pancakes? Those are the best!
Loud-Number-8185@reddit
Wow, what did you do to piss her off?
BoldBoimlerIsMyHero@reddit
Those look exactly like my mom’s pancakes. She had an undercooked one once as a child and made sure she never had another.
drake22@reddit
I’d still fuck with those, esp if my wife made them, I don’t even care. Just use more butter and syrup.
PlusJellyfish5303@reddit
At least she... Tried?
oddntt@reddit
Lol, my wife can cook almost anything else, but her pancakes always come out like that. I think she does it on purpose so that I make breakfast.
solo_dbd_player@reddit
Hmm. Thinking she wants to finish the job.
fssman@reddit
Don't blow it away....
Icy_Butterscotch5570@reddit
She got nice boobs at least?
FriendshipSome6014@reddit
…and then you really got sick
LillianBubic@reddit
My eyes are going I thought these were 4 overturned turtles
Timely-Profile1865@reddit
I love this forum.
number59smom@reddit
Definitely and ‘A’ for effort
RandytheRude@reddit
KingKongHasED@reddit
Did you make her mad?
SpoppyIII@reddit
When I first scrolled by this I thought at a glance that this was a photo of four horseshoe crabs.
NiceCatBigAndStrong@reddit
Did she make them IN the bed??
sjm294@reddit
Yikes!
ratzanal@reddit
Damn she must hate you.
Distinct-Ad-1348@reddit
And now you feel worse.
RutabagaOrdinary6205@reddit
This would make me feel worse
vertigo1083@reddit
I dunno. This has always been a peeve of mine.
A competent person only needs to make pancakes once or twice, fuck it up, and learn the balance between heat and time. That's all. If beyond that, someone does not get it, they are certified dangerous in the kitchen, and cannot be trusted there without supervision.
tenryuta@reddit
.... put an ad in the local paper, new wife required, cooking skills:not burnt pancakes/other food
BR33D760@reddit
I have an idea of why you may not be feeling well…
BrosephStalined@reddit
Think I know why you’re feeling unwell
Call-a-Crackhead@reddit
Bone crapthebed
TruckingLion@reddit
Talk about kicking you while you are down.
Few-Rhubarb-8486@reddit
She really shouldn't have.
Ztronic412@reddit
I thought that was a fried and burnt turtle shell
garagehaircuts@reddit
Are those squid ink flapjacks
GentrifriesGuy@reddit
😂
Wife trying to Thanos snap you with pancakes
WeirdSysAdmin@reddit
I don’t think it’s supposed to make you worse.
uhhh-000@reddit
So she hates you..?
CHRIIISTY@reddit
last-of-the-mohicans@reddit
You Dirty Bird… How could you!!!
hello_raleigh-durham@reddit
Treating you like a god, bringing you burnt offerings.
thuglife_7@reddit
Soak em in syrup and you’ll be right as rain
Rich-Reason1146@reddit
Looks like fungal growths on a petri dish
LiamIsMyNameOk@reddit
The glass plate is the thing that bothers me most about this whole image
SuckMeSlow69@reddit
Yea it you coward. It’s not always about you even when it is. Make sure you smile while you chew and remind her how wonderful it is.
youshallnotpass9@reddit
That looks like a giant fuck you
-perspicacious_@reddit
I choked on my vape giggling at this. That doesn’t happen often.
Ayakaba@reddit
did she see her chance coming to end your suffering quickly?
midgetspinner6969@reddit
You are getting carbon monoxide poisoned by your wife bro
peacenchemicals@reddit
she tryna make you feel worse apparently
thelectricrain@reddit
If only she turned the heat down a little, they'd be decent :(
One-Crab-137@reddit
Wow! Hope you don’t have a sore throat as you’ll defo have one after trying to swallow those bad boys!
jeffnorris@reddit
She trying to kill you?
Commercial_Fig_6537@reddit
Best not complain
Shingorillaz@reddit
She trying to finish the job
Flat_throwaways@reddit
God help us all.
FartSmeIa@reddit
are u sure u were not feeling well BEFORE she cooked this for you?
Separate-Succotash11@reddit
You don’t like pancakes well done? At least there’s a bit if love in those cakes.