Well, I'm 47 and now I finally feel ready. And now, I'm in menopause so it's a nope! Back to zero kids and 7 cats and 2 dogs and 1 child husband. Used to be zero kids and 15 cats.

My parents had me at 37. Been through my fathers two divorces which were heartbreaking and I cleaned up both messes. Brothers were in college or starting their own lives further away. He passed on the 4th of July on home hospice with me still cleaning up his mess of a lady friend who I was also caring for until her family stepped up. None of this under my roof but I commuted daily an hour away until I had to stay overnight. My mother lives in my home close to needing full time care from me. Having me at 37, I feel my entire life was care taking. My maternal grandmother helped raise me after the first divorce, and I was also her person at the age of 30 that saw her through home hospice and that broke me. I was awarded at age 5 for calling 911 and making sure she was ok till the ambulance came when she had her first stroke and fell down the stairs. By age 16 with a license I was on a first name basis with her neurologist and I understood what every medication she took did and what it was for, I was a riot at partys, not. I left college early when she took a turn for the worst and never got my degree. The last 5 years of her life she was fully bed ridden from MS and Parkinson's which are rare together. Dad's second divorce left my stepmom moving into my first home with me and my first husband at age 24, which ended up in a divorce not long after that because of what it did to me mentally. The 2 older siblings and a step brother that had children I ended up raising through my late 20's into my late 30's as well. My parents decision at 37 put me here. At 47, maybe my child would be free earlier by the age of 37 if I'm finally gone from this planet by age 84. But their entire life would be caretaking in unnatural ways. My father's last few years were like raising my own toddler weighing 180lbs. Thankfully my grandmother couldn't walk around with her mind like his was.

So for me, I'm glad I'm in menopause and not able to jump on these feelings of loss of not having my own. My husband is 8 years older. I'll probably out live this last bunch of kitties too. I'll be leaving this worldly experience completely solo but, my plan is to curl up into my beautiful garden that I've spent 10 years building and nurturing and chatting with on a daily basis and let nature take me back to where I came from when I'm ready. It's been my place to be where I feel the most happiness and I've made it with nature's help. That's what gives me solace in all of this.

Thanks for listening to anyone that stayed reading through this large comment.

OP, I'm not trying to give you any negative feelings about your choice, just make sure you set things up properly for your needs in the second half of your life to take some burden off of your child. Don't put them in the same positions I was put into. Give them freedom to have and experience their own life and live it to life's fullest expectations ❤️ I'm grateful my father did save and invest and even though I had to split it 3 ways, he did me very well with other things he left for me too. Money isn't what made me do anything I did for him, but it's nice to be fully retired with a paid off house and paid off cars with money in the bank and no worries regarding anything other than my health at age 47, same for my hubs at age 55. His mother left him their family home that purchased ours in full. He was the youngest of 7 and the only one that stayed in their home to be with her during her final years and her battle with cancer on hospice. He was there because he had to remove his mother abusing father at age 16, quit highschool to work to help pay their mortgage and he stayed till her end. She had him as well at age 37. We are honestly perfect for each other but it took me until I was 37 myself to find him.